12/31/21

last selfie for 2021 

me, myself and I 

date night 

end of year cleanse bath 

 New Years eve and I have to work 10:45-7:00. Not that happy about it, but at least I don't have to work thru midnight. Not that I was going to go out. Not when I have to be up at 5 for work tomorrow. It was actually busy there. I'm surprised especially with Covid cases on the rise again. Anyway, I stopped off after work and picked up some Mongolian BBQ brought it home, ate it, looked at Facebook, took a bath with some herbs for a year end cleansing and went to sleep. Christopher and Kirstin went to the movies. Took some really cute pics. I'm glad they had a good time. Not sure what the other boys did, they didn't send any pics or any details. Happy New Year. 

 As I reflect on 2021, I know that 2022 has got to be much better than the last 2. Covid still is affecting daily life. Covid took so many people last yr and Its hard to think that this year could be the same. I've been up and down in my emotions all yr. It took me a very long time to get over Dustin. I didn't think it would ever happen. I honestly don't know why he had such a hold on me. It wasn't like he was that great of a boyfriend. I don't ever want to go thru that again. I've learned even if I get down on myself, that its ok to be alone. Ones happiness shouldn't be based on having a person around just to have someone around. I will never settle again. I wonder when I love me is enough. I think about how much my boys are flourishing. I've said this before, I don't know how they got to be as great as they are, I just know I had some little part in it. To see Christopher and Kirstin finally taking the steps by getting married and now having a baby in the next couple of months. Makes this mama so happy and proud. Its great to see that love can and does exist. I see the love they have for each other, the love Dominic has for Caitlin, Brandon for Meredith and hopefully one day someone will love Austin and see what a truly amazing man he is. I've had good and bad days. I keep going. Its hard, but I have to. I feel inadequate most days. But I know that I do my best. I'm grateful for the people who have stuck around. Im grateful to still have my house. I'm thankful for the roommates who I have who help me keep this place afloat. I'm thankful for Robert who is finally willing to help me take care of some financial things. Long overdue. Its hard when all you want to do is keep the one thing that has the memories of all of us as a family. It breaks my heart that the boys won't really come here. I get they love being with their brother, but hurts a lot. This is their home, or it was. One day I hope to see Alexander and all the other grandbabies that I hope to have running up and down the stairs. Playing in the pool. That would make me the happiest Nana, Mom alive. I'm just rambling now. 2021 stole a lot of joy, but because of my kids and my friends, they were able to put some of that back out there. I don't mention it a lot, but I truly miss my mom. I miss her breakfasts and coffee waiting for me in the mornings. I miss her telling me not to bother her during Young and the Restless. I miss her wanting to eat bland tacos. I miss her corny jokes, I miss even the fighting. That meant she was still here. Here's to 2022 and hoping it brings many more memories.   

12/30/21

Cleaning up my room and putting Christmas away. Nick got me the Raider sugar skull. I almost bought a smaller one from the gift shop at work for an ornament on my tree. This will go on my Raider table in the upstairs room. The other ornament is the 3D printed one from Brandon. I like it because he made it, but its scary looking lol Its a character from DnD. I put it on my tree today.  Alexander is now approximately the size of a care bear. He's moving quite a bit. Yes I'm on repeat now, can't wait until he gets here.  
 

12/29/21

Ichi Ramen House

HAHA

chocolate covered strawberries

Shang Chi and the Legend of the 10 rings

gifts for Alexander all the way from Green Bay

 Austin asked if I wanted to have lunch with him. Sure. He wanted Ramen and he was paying. Even better. We went to my favorite spot Ichi Ramen House. Its so good there. We brought some home for Christopher and Kirstin, who were working. We got rolled ice cream to take with us. it was next door to the ramen place. I stuck around and took a nap. I was supposed to be watching a movie with Austin. I got too comfortable on the recliner. Woke up with the movie being just about over. Oh well next time. Then we started watching Locke and Key. I will go home and turn that on. They kicked me out because Robert was coming over for dinner. I was ok with that because I wanted to come home and fill out my application for the Palms. I really hope I get to go back, but I will miss my friends at Sunset. So whatever is meant to be will be. I checked the mail before heading inside. This lady Maria, that I met this summer while I walked around Sunset pool, sent Alexander some stuff from Green Bay. She was the sweetest lady and her husband Rod was pretty cool too. We've kept in contact over the last few months. I need to send her VGK things. Christopher and Kirstin Loved it. 

12/28/21

Part of day shift crew, Rita, Nick, Craig, Victor,
Me Victor Sr and Lucy

cheers!

Hope it fits. LOL 

Secret Santa and potluck today at work. I had Victor, so he got his gift at our after party at Wild Sunset. Both Nick and I got Raiders blankets. They are perfect for us. After work we went for drinks. Victor showed up and I was able to give him his gift. I got him Rockstars and M&M peanuts that's because he drinks/eats those every morning at the beginning of shift. I also had joked around with him that If I got his name I was going to get him a thong with an elephants trunk. I did and he loved it. I told him he will have to model it for me. LOL I was kidding of course. From there Nick and I met up with Jessica at Noons for Hot chocolate and tea. She's pregnant, so that is as hard as its going to get for now. I'm bummed we didn't get a picture of the 3 of us. From there I picked up in and out and went over to the kids house and watched the VGK play. So happy they won. 

12/27/21

cool gift

time to say bye 😭

bracelet from Nanette

 After work I had to get stuff for the pot luck tomorrow at work. I am making enchilada casserole to take. Brandon and Meredith are leaving tonight and I'm taking them to the airport.  I think they were getting worried I wasn't going to make it on time. I got there a few mins late, but it didn't matter their flight was delayed. They had to sit in the airport maybe an hour longer. I was sad to see them go. I like her. She's great. Came home finished up the enchiladas and opened my gift from Nanette. She got me a Raiders bracelet from Pandora. I love it. Funny because I got her something from Pandora also. Brandi, one of Kirstin's friends made Alexander these really cute onsies. 2 are DnD themed and the other was VGKs and dinosaur related. So very cute and creative. 

12/26/21

Austin and me at the tailgate

Hope these are lucky socks!

some of our Lot X Crew

So glad Dominic was able to make it

Haha The Bronchoes Commandments

Valerie from work 

watching the game from home

Go Raiders

We swept the Bronchoes!!!!

family, that's what its about

Wyatt and Hailey stopped by

hard yet fun game Blocksies 

game night

 Its game day and I'm picking up Austin early to take him to our last tailgate of the year. While there, my friend Vince said he had an extra ticket for Dominic. The kids dropped him off to go with us. I was so excited because he's never been before. He got to sit with us for a little bit until the people showed up in front of me. He moved over to his seat which was 2 sections over. I could see him still. At half time we all got up to walk around and so they could see this beautiful stadium. Austin has seen the Oakland Colosseum before. When halftime was over, my neighbors to my right, Raphael said he'd move down to let Dominic sit with us. That was awesome. It was a great game and even better was that we won. That means we swept the Donkeys this yr. I guess those socks are lucky after all. We went back to the kids house and had leftovers from Friday. Kirstin made nachos. Wyatt, one of the kids friends came over with his wife. They stayed a while and we played blocksies. Its a fun tetras like game. The first to build what the card says wins. It was another great day with my favorite people......MY FAMILY!

12/25/21

my cool gifts 

 

playing a murder mystery game. 

Christmas day and I'm at work. Its very slow and I don't want to be here. I hope everyone is having a Merry Christmas. My kids are going to be spending it with Robert today. I usually get Christmas day, but I'm ok with it. Got home took a picture of my gifts from the kids. I didn't take one of everything yesterday. Christopher and Kirstin got me a tool set. I really needed one. They also got Pictionary so we can have more games for game night. Brandon got me some expansion cards for Cards against humanity and a really cool Santa ornament from either Switzerland or Finland. He also made me a 3d printed Raiders ornament. Its cool but scary. LOL looks a little like Venom, but its a character from DnD. Austin got me a light table to help me with my drawings. I'm going to try to draw them something in the next few weeks. I was also given a framed picture from the Wedding. I love it. My friend Victor didn't have anywhere to go so he brought his PS4 over and we played Injustice 2 again. It was so much fun. His laugh is infectious. And I beat his ass again. I'm glad I wasn't alone tonight, but it would have been nice to be with that someone special. Maybe Santa will bring him next yr. Who am I kidding??? 

12/24/21

 

gift from Dr Meredith

present time

Brandon brought Dominic booze from 
Finland

vegan churros

taco bar...Yum

beans and shredded chicken

carnitas

cheers to a wonderful Christmas

sangria

wow, gift from Anna

won $50 in Amazon cards at work

(not sure why my pics came in the wrong order, not going to fix it either lol )

Today at work, I won $50 in Amazon gift cards. I was just telling my supervisor not long ago that I never win. I am in shock that I did. Yay now to get me something fun. Anna got me a new projector. That was way too much for a friend/roommate gift. But I'll use it for sure. The boys made Sangria yesterday and we all toasted to all of us being here and it being a wonderful day. I have no complaints at all. We decided since things are expensive and takes a long time to cook, that we would do a taco bar for our Christmas dinner. Our normal tradition when the kids were little and I'm not sure how this all started was on Christmas eve we would get Del Taco. I know that's weird, but it has stuck in their heads all these years. Instead of getting that since today is the day I get to spend with them we did it up better. I made the beans yesterday. I also made shredded chicken. Austin made Carnitas. Kirstin Chorizo and Brandon and Meredith made zorizo vegan chorizo. It was nice that we all did a little part of it. Everything was really good. Well the carnitas were a little dry, but they did have great flavor. Austin said it was the cut of meat he chose that made the difference. Gift time, I got these socks from Meredith that she had made up for me. What a cool and thoughtful gift for someone she barely knows. I will wear them to the game on Sunday. Dominic sent me a link on my phone, Him and Caitlin got me probably one of the coolest gifts ever. They got Daniel Carlson to send me a personal Christmas message. I sat there in awe as I was watching this. At first I don't know that I was comprehending what was going on. I had to listen to it over and over again. It was amazing. He told me he was happy he could do this for me and even happier that they got it before his contract got extended and for way more money. LOL I guess his price jumped up. LOL Today was a very Merry Christmas. I love my kids so much.