Day 120

Both Graciela and I saw on the news that there was going to be an opportunity to go see one of the biggest steam engines ever made down at Union Station. So that is what we did today. Im not really into trains and such, but it was pretty cool to see a piece of history in our own backyard. Here is the link to all the info about the Big Boy No. 4014. . I took about 100 pics. I even tried shooting in BW. I think I like them better that way. Makes it feel like long ago. We thought it was going to roll out today, but not till tomorrow morning. Not going to get up that early to fight traffic to watch it take off. I'll just watch it on TV. When we were done, we headed over to Applebees for happy hour. She had 2 white peach sangrias and I had 2 Long Beach ice teas. My favorite there. Plus half price appetizers. We had so much fun talking and hanging out. Man I love my friends. When I want to cry they are there to make me laugh. Robert text me to say he was taking Austin to some science thing. What am I going to do say no? Funny how he has so much time now. I just hope he doesn't bring my kids around that BITCH! He can play house with her offspring if he wants, but she will not have anything to do with my kids at least not in the foreseeable future. She has him that should be enough. *Happy Birthday Genica, Love ya!

Day 119

Just worked, nothing new going on. Oh Glenda came over for dinner. We had Popeyes chicken. It was nice to see her. Its been forever since she's come over. She's getting ready to move. I hope I can go help her after I have my yard sale Friday. I think that's what friends should do. Especially when you really care about them. And I love her. I asked Brandon what he has been up too and he said, that he, Peter and Ben built this bridge for Statics class. It was able to hold 768 lbs before it broke. That's pretty cool. He also showed me some floor plans for some apartments up in Reno. I hope he finds the right fit. I think it would be wonderful if he could manage the Twins home, if they decide to rent to other college students. He is a pretty responsible young man. Who knows it was just an idea Christopher came up with. Happy Birthday to one of my moms longest and dearest friends Marta.

Dear Extraordinary Girl, It's ok to want things that don't make sense to others, dear friend. It's ok to be content with a simple life, to pass up on things that others find tempting, to walk a path that is not often traveled...maybe even a path that has never been traveled before. Please don't get caught up in the confusing, hurtful and destructive belief that you are somehow obligated to live the life that everyone else seems to think you should live. Please listen to YOUR heart. Please shut out the opinions, advice and voices of "reason" that make you feel so uneasy, confused and inadequate. Be with your truth....be with the source of that truth. Get quiet and listen listen listen to your heart. Your path is your path....the very path that you were created to travel. Your decisions are your decisions...the very decisions that your Creator will help you to make. Go where the peace is....in your life, in your relationships, and especially in all of your decisions. Make choices that bring you the most peace....even when those decisions don't make sense to the outside world. You have what it takes to hear your truth, beautiful friend...and you do not walk alone.

Day 118

Another day another dollar. Work is work and today I was glad to be done with it. These new 3 hr posts are killing me. Not very fun circling the same area over and over again. Plus when the mall is slow it makes it that much harder. I was excited to get home because I was making dinner for my friend. It was actually very nice to get a call this morning asking what did I need for the recipe. Veggies! The dinner turned out great and the conversations went very well. I did not take any pics. :( Im sad that I didn't. Oh well maybe if there is a next time. Austin and his friends were looking up some Astronomy pick up lines for when they go to Florida next month. Here are a couple....Baby, you're like a white dwarf star, extremely hot but not very bright. don't see this one working LOL and If a star fell every time I thought of you, the sky would be dark. This one I could see working. BOYS!!!!! Gotta Love them!

Day 117

My supervisor reminded me that The 8 ft. R2D2 was going to be topped off today at 5 , so I stayed at work after I clocked out and hung out with him and chatted for a while. I got both of our pics taken in front of the big R2D2. It looked pretty impressive. And to think Austin and I helped a little. Back at home, Austin went to the movies with his dad. They saw Transcendence. Its the new Johnny Depp movie. He liked it but said it was slow. Brandon sent me a picture of ducks crossing the street. A picture of Christopher playing with Conner And I got a picture of Dominic's Award he received from his FIE organization. side note...... Brandon has to move out of the house in 3 weeks. I think that is just about the time school gets out for him. I hope he puts his name on the dorm list for next semester.

Day 116

I have today off. I was supposed to have yesterday off, but they changed it. That's cool. I woke up and got ready to go to the Mall. Why, you might be saying are you going to the mall on your day off? They are having a 8ft Lego R2D2 built on the fashion runway. Austin wanted to go and I wanted to go to see some of my friends from work without my uniform on. I just love it when they are shocked seeing me there. The model guy I talked about the other day was like WOW you look good. That made me blush. Plus this other guy who I wouldn't mind dating said Damn you look hot! But I don't really think anyone is interesting in dating me. Why would they be? Back to the model guy real quick. He said he does model in Israel and can't have his pics put on the internet due to his contract. I think its bull, but whatever. So I had Austin take his pic from a distance. Its not that great, but at least I have one. Back to Legos now. Austin and I each built 4 block sections for the display. We raced a couple of times, I lost each time. I can't wait until its done tomorrow. I had such a good time with Austin. I always do. Good thing I will be at work to see the final project.

*****Side note.....Robert tells me this morning he is moving out with Cris Barnhart Dillon. She must be in heaven knowing he will be there with her all the time now. Little does she know that he is only settling for her. (He's been telling me since the day he first slept with her how much he wants to be with me, even after he comes home from her) How sad is that. She is a step down from me, but if she is happy with a man that doesn't love her like he might be telling her, then go for it sister! He also informed me that he will not be paying me any alimony, which btw he totally screwed me out of in the divorce papers. I'm entitled to 18% of what he is making and for 12.5 yrs. He is the one who filled out all papers and said sign here. He wrote he would give me $500 child support until Austin is 18 and $500 alimony for 3 yrs. Can you believe that shit? I said that is Bullshit, so he changed it to 5. Now he is saying he won't pay me a dime. Tell me that isn't a douche bag thing to do. Oh well, I just needed to vent and since this is my blog and I can write whatever the hell I want, I did! Tomorrow will be a new day and hopefully I can make this work. I probably won't be able to and will lose the house, but at least I won't have to deal with all the craziness anymore.

Day 115

Work was pretty busy today. One of my friends from work is moving to Costa Rica tonight, so when we got off work we went to eat and hang out for a little bit before he had to go to the airport. Im going to miss him. He was someone I could talk to when I was walking a certain post. Now there is no one there. :( But he is missing his family. I don't blame him. After I dropped him off at the airport. I rushed home to get ready to go see The Rock Vault show at the LVH. Its a look back/documentary on the rock music of the 60's, 70's and the 80's. It has musicians from different bands like Survivor, Asia, Heart, Deep Purple and a couple of others. I can't remember all of the bands right now. It was really good. I had a great time. I'd totally recommend it to anyone coming to Vegas that likes Rock music. After the show was over I headed home and after going off of only 3.5 hrs sleep, I put my head on the pillow and was out in less than 5 mins.

Day114

I got invited to go to the 51's game. It was $1 beer night. I have not been to a baseball game in yrs. I had so much fun. My friend and I each had a few beers. I could hang a little more than he. I had never seen beer being filled up from the bottom of the cup before. I was mesmerized. I guess they do that to save from getting too much foam. Pretty cool idea. While I was out, I guess Roberts people or whatever you want to call them text him to let him know I was out. Boy this has happened more than once or twice. I'm pretty sure he has me followed. Oh well, I'm still not doing what he's been doing. So going out with my friends once in awhile should be no big deal, plus we are divorced. I shouldn't have to be worried about who I see or don't see. Got home around 2 only because I have to get up at 5:30 to go to work. NO PROBLEM. I can hang with the best of them.

Day 113

You know its going to be a bad day when you get up and first thing in the morning, the other one has to start a fight with you. Will there ever be a day that I can go to work without that happening? Then I get on the freeway and there is a 7 car pile up. What normally takes me 15 mins to get to work took 50 min. So now Im late for work. Yesterday I had meant to get gas as I was already on E, but forgot. While sitting in traffic I was scared to death that I would run out of gas. The day just keeps getting better. Once at work, I'm grilled by my chief. I hate being put on the spot. Then I'm told I will be sent out on all calls today so I have to write a report.(I haven't done one yet) He wasn't kidding. :( Then I get forgotten again. When I work the 10-6 shift. I get lost in the switching of shifts. Day dispatcher gets off at 2:30 and swing comes on. Well I'm due for my lunches around 2-2:30. Today I did not get a lunch until 4:30. Got stuck having to help Metro with an arrest of 3 woman at Victoria's Secret. One day I am going to get up the nerve to take their picture. After work a friend of mine said they would come out if I ran out of gas. Thank God I didn't. I made it to the gas station. Just barely. Didn't feel like making dinner. I am getting tired of everyone thinking that after a long day on my feet that I want to come home and cook. So I got the kids and my mom In and Out. Austin made some of the potato wedges that I got from KFC when they went out of business at my job. Brandon informed me he may not be able to stay in the house again next year in Reno. The twins aren't sure what they are going to do for the next semester. He sent a picture of the desk he will have to move if he can't stay there. Christopher and Kirstin will be the ones picking him up so they need to know what exactly he will be bringing home.

Dear Patient Girl, There will come a time when you can't really even remember why or how you were so hurt and devastated. It will even become difficult to try to recreate the memories and the pain of the memories. Someday you will feel complete healing. Suddenly, the parts of your life that used to hurt so much will simply be short chapters in your rich life story. Where once you thought that devastating experiences were THE STORY of your life, you will see that they were actually only just the set-up and the build-up and the lead-in of the real story. There will come a time when your hurts no longer define you or consume you....when they are just sprinklings of the big picture, the big story of your big life. There will even come a time when you will see how necessary those parts were to your story....that nothing else could have made sense without them. You will see....be patient with it all. Every good story has opposition...tragedy......and the overcoming of it all.....YOUR STORY is a beautiful big rich story....embrace all of the parts of it and see them in their proper perspective. You are the brave heroine. You are the main character. You have such a beautiful, beautiful story and there are so many incredible chapters still to come..........

Day 112

Christopher and Kirstin went looking for new homes. Yep they are going to be buying a house and moving out. This makes me both happy and sad. I hope they find something they both really like. Don't blame them not wanting to be here. I do secretly hope it takes them a little while to find the right one. Went to dinner with a friend. They are moving to Costa Rica on Friday, so they said I could buy their TV from them for $25. Boy I really need one. Mine is so old and is jacked up. Will be nice to see a full screen without lines going across the top.

Dear Beautiful Girl, That thing that's been lingering on your mind, burning in your heart.....that scary beautiful thing that you can't get out of your whole soul because it wants to be heard and acted upon........guess what lovely? It's not going to go away. It's not going to go away because it's the deepest wisdom and authenticity of you trying to get you on exactly the right track. It is your truth. What would a leap of faith look like? What is it that is holding you back? Would it be so bad just to take that first step? Would it be so bad to stop and really honor yourself and at least listen to that longing? This is where your choices will make every difference in the world. This is where the fork in the road just might lead to the place you've been praying to be. Get quiet, dear friend.......listen closely....then be brave when you know exactly what to do next but can't quite get the courage to do it. Be brave and go for it, then do it again. Live THAT ONE PRECIOUS LIFE OF YOURS....really really live it. It is time.

Day 111

Spring break is over and Austin had to go back to school. We both overslept. I had to be at work by 6:30, but didn't get up until 5:50. I did make it to work in time. Not sure if Austin was late. I don't take him in the mornings anymore :( Very busy day at work. When I got home Austin was sound asleep. I put my bikini on and laid out by the pool. It was 95 today. Gotta take advantage while I can. When the kids went to cook dinner the stove would not turn on. My mom had cleaned it earlier in the day so they thought maybe she got the ignition switches wet. Nope. Robert did not pay the gas bill so they had turned it off. They were going to make parmesan Chicken in the stove, but ended up having to do it out on the grill. I'll tell you what, it came out GREAT! I normally take showers the night before I go to work. I still did, but there was no hot water. That totally sucked. Luckily it was so hot in the house that the cool water wasn't so bad. Should be turned back on tomorrow.

Dear Happy Girl, You may be fooled into thinking, after you have tried on the 7th dress of the morning...fretting and worrying over how slimming, how flattering and how new and fashionable each one is...that your friendships, your motherhood, your marriage or your day depends on what you wear. You might even be fooled into thinking that the kind of car that you drive determines who you are as a human being....or that the neighborhood you live in decides your worth. Every day we get fooled into thinking ridiculous things, sweet friend. The key to happiness is recognizing just how ridiculous these beliefs are....even if people around us are also fooled into believing them. The people who matter in your life...don't care what you wear, what you drive or where you live.....they love that beautiful heart of yours. So please stop putting so much pressure on yourself, friend....stop measuring yourself by these crazy irrelevant standards. YOU are beautiful, amazing, talented, loving, funny, sweet and kind.....your clothes, your car and your house have nothing to do with ANY of that. Just be you.

Day 110 Happy Easter

Who closes a mall and makes us work? :( Longest 8 hrs I've had in a very long time. Although I do have fun making my co-workers laugh. I think they think Im nutty, but in a good way. We had to make sure no one snuck into the mall. What fun! For me to not really have people to talk to while patrolling was brutal. Our little potluck was nice. Everyone enjoyed my food. That's always nice to hear. Had to wake up a drunk that was sleeping outside in the rocks. He was not too happy. He must hate women. He wasn't very nice to me or Bike 3....Jackie. Once our supervisor Adam came out he was a lot more cooperative. Had to escort quite a few people out of the mall. Boy people find all kinds of ways to get in. Spent the last part of my shift with Whoopie Goldberg. :) She's the wax figure outside of half price tickets. I've been wanting a pic with her since she showed up. Came home and Austin went to see Captain America again. This is his fourth time. He went with his dad. He didn't go to church this morning with Robert and Cris. Don't blame him. My mom decorated the table really cute. Had a nice dinner. Went to bed early because I'm beat. I heard from Dominic and Brandon, I asked them to take pics of what they were doing and Brandon sends me one of him doing a Lab and Dominic baking cookies. I miss having all my kids home for the holidays :'(my day at the mall. Had to also do a roof check. My view of things from up top the mall.

Day 109

Had a great time learning to open up the mall. The day flew by really fast. Well the first 3 hrs did. My trainer is so much fun. I've learned a lot from him. He's been at the mall for 11 yrs. So I think he KNOWS what he's doing. I kept asking all the guys on the shift if they wanted to do a pot luck tomorrow. no one really said anything. then at 2:30 I get called into the office. I'm thinking oh no am I in trouble. Nope. They wanted me to put something together. It was hard seeing it was such late notice. It'll just be nice whatever they bring. I plan on making my enchilada casserole and broccoli/strawberry salad. they are always a hit. Graciela and I went shopping for the stuff after I got off work. While making the stuff I cut this one strawberry and it looked like lips to me. That's the best pic I can get for today. LOL I had to come home make dinner for the family, cook tomorrow's meals and clean up. That really sucked. Oh well. If I didn't love them I wouldn't have done it. Robert's CAP kids got to work with some simulators today. He really likes taking selfies, more than anyone I know. I'm sure both Cris and I got this pic. LOL

Pisces horoscope for Apr 19 2014 A home-related matter may be on your mind now, Pisces. This could be anything from thoughts of relocating to sprucing up your living space to looking for a new house mate. The main thing, though, is that this is something that is and will be positive as long as you approach it in a thoughtful and balanced way, and you are completely honest with yourself. A change has been due for quite some time now. You will soon have the influence or the resources to make it happen. So enjoy it.

Day 108

Austin and I drove down to Mt Sac College to watch Dominic race today. (Mt Sac Relays hosts Athletes from all over the world, High school and college. Its a big deal to race here) It was so nice being in Cali. Weather was beautiful. I only wish I had more time. So many pEople I'd like to see. Anyway we got there and had to wait about 1 hr until he raced. They had so many heats for the 800. When Dominic got to the track. Austin didn't recognize him. Although its been a couple of months since he's cut his hair, we all still look for those long locks. Even some of the coaches from Centennial didn't recognize him. They heard his name called, but didn't put it together until after the race. He ran a good race. He almost won, but last 35 meters someone passed him. He came in second. Time 1:54.31. He's had better times this yr, but Im proud of him anyway. After the race we hung out with the kids from Centennial. Once Dominic cooled down we headed to Redlands. Dominic took us to dinner with one of his roommates. We went to Cafe Rio. Unfortunately they don't do fideo on Fridays. :( Its cool I was mostly there for his company. Antwain his roommate got to know us a little better. He said, "he see's where Dominic gets it from". LOL Is that a good thing or a bad thing? hmmm I took them to Trader Joes and to Vons to get some groceries. Then took them back to the dorms. I hate when I have to leave. Especially this time. He won't be coming home this summer. He got a job and has to establish residency for Med school. Makes me so sad, yet happy at the same time. I don't have normal days off, so its hard to make plans to go there. Will see how summer goes. I hope I get to visit as much as I can. I had Austin drive part of the way home. I wanted to be able to text my friends because my phone's battery is shot, so it won't keep a charge. I didn't get to talk much during the day. It was nice having him drive. He does a pretty good job. Just have to get him not to turn his whole body when he switches lanes. It'll come in time. Once we switched out, I stopped in Baker to get some lottery tickets. Man if only I could win. Got home around 1:15. Have to be up at 5:30. I am going to learn to open the mall tomorrow. (pics from my phone)

Day 107

CAPTAIN AMERICA 2, THE WINTER SOLDIER. Austin has seen this movie already 2 times before, but since I haven't seen it he said he would really like to see it again. So we went and I do agree. It was pretty darn good. Only $4.00 at the Rainbow AMC theater.So many new Comic book movies coming out soon. Can't wait for Spiderman and X-Men. I love hanging out with Austin. He just makes me laugh and smile all the time. Tomorrow we are driving down to see Dominic. Wish I could make the rounds and see some friends, but no time. Have to be back because I have to be at work at 6:30 AM Saturday :(

Pisces horoscope for Apr 17 2014 You set a boundary a while back, Pisces. It may have been for yourself. It may have been for someone else. You were determined that there would be no crossing of that boundary without certain consequences. You meant it at the time, and maybe at the time it was appropriate. But something has changed. You are probably aware of this, but because that old line in the sand gave you a certain sense of comfort and security, you may be sticking with it anyway. Dare to erase that line, and start fresh.

Day 106

I'm finally feeling better. Not a 100% yet, but much better. Second antibiotic must be working. Anyway, today Brandon finally sent me a picture of him and his girlfriend Kirsten. She's the one sitting to Brandon's right in the picture above. Then he sent me a picture of these pretty pink flowers. I love that he does that. Then Austin, Brandon and Dominic had some kind of conversation about zombies smashing brains and turning into zucchini's. That was auto correct by Austins phone. (It was part of Brandon's dream. That apparently really upset him). So Dominic says can we eat you if you turn into a zucchini? then Dominic says if I turn into a zucchini, save the seeds so you can plant me. so Austin drew the picture of Dominic as a plant/flower. Ok doesn't sound as funny as the conversation was, lost in translation. I don't want to copy and paste the whole thing here. It was pretty funny. My boys have a wonderful sense of humor and care so much for each other.

Day 105

I met up with my friend Bridgette and her family at Serendipity. We get together at least once a yr when she comes into town. They really like going to Serendipity. I told them next time lets go to Margaritaville. Her husband Jason likes the One and Only Las Vegas strip steak sandwich. me and Austin got one and shared it. It was so nice to meet a couple of her kids. They usually come alone. I hope to one day get out to her place and visit. After lunch me and Austin went by my work. I wanted to see some of the people I know. I had a feeling they would not recognize me without my uniform. I was right. Once they figured out who I was it was like WOW! I couldn't stop laughing. Its pretty funny. I do clean up well. I introduced Austin to some of my co-workers. He might apply for a job at the lego store. That would be cool if he worked with me/in the mall I mean. Went to see a Grand Budapest hotel with a friend of mine. It was a quirky movie.

Day 104

Although I am still feeling really crappy, I did have a great day at work. I don't know what it is, but I have been hit on by more younger guys lately. Its very flattering. There is one who is 23. He is pretty funny. I told him today that he is WAY TOO YOUNG since he is younger than Christopher. I can't see myself dating someone that young. He tells me often, Its only a number. However there is this guy, I'm guessing 26ish that flirts with me daily. This guy is so freaken HOT! Can't imagine why he would be interested in me. He is model material, I'll get a picture of him one day. Im not ready to date yet. I do like to flirt. Nothing wrong with that. I'll leave the dating to Robert and his bitch, I mean Cris Dillon. Guess she can feel better now about dating him since he is single now. Wonder how she felt sleeping with him for a yr knowing he was married? Yep Im in one of those moods today that I don't give a rats ass what I put on here. Today I walked so much at work. I've surpassed the mileage I did the other day. I also took a picture of this cactus. the center looks like its smiling. At least something is smiling.

Pisces horoscope for Apr 14 2014 You may be sensing that someone you admire - someone who truly impresses you - doesn't take you seriously. While you would love to be seen in the best possible light by this person, he or she doesn't seem able to understand how much you have to offer. Your talents, your incredible uniqueness may be lost on this individual, Pisces, but could it be because you are holding back? Maybe you are so intent on impressing the one you admire that you aren't showing off the real you. Allow yourself to shine in this person's presence, and you will be very impressive!

Day 103

Austin went to church with Robert and his gf then out to breakfast. He said it was awkward. You think? Anyway, he has been working on his Rube Goldberg machine for Nationals. He cut out a bulldog and some letters and made them into stencils. He wanted to add a little color to it. I think it looks good. Now lets hope all the parts inside work when they are supposed to. I'm still fighting this darn cold or whatever it is. Felt like crap at work today.

Day 102

Austin's friend Hunter is working on his Eagle Scout and asked if he would go with him to Opportunity Village today to make some polar bears for their Christmas displays. He said he had a lot of fun. They didn't finish the big one because they ran out of material. Don't know when they will go back and finish it up. I wish my boys had stayed in Scouts. I would have loved for them to be Eagle Scouts. Dominic ran one of his fastest times today. He ran a 1:52.07. He is currently ranked #4. Im so very proud of him. I think I may actually get to see him run next week.

Day 101

Had the day off. It felt good to just sleep most of the day since I've been sick. I did get up to have coffee with my cousin. I try not to miss the days she wants to get together since they aren't very often. Had a good visit. Anyway, Brandon drew this Robot for his GIRLFRIEND. He actually said it out loud today. So it must be official. It is so very cute. It says: ~I was programmed to FANCY you!~. We all thought it was adorable. I hope she liked it. Austin starts spring break today. I hope I will have at least a day or 2 to hang out with him.