New York Times Best-Selling Author

Darlene Schacht

The Ministry of
Time-Warp Wife

All Scripture unless otherwise noted is taken from The NIV Bible

The Good Wife’s Guide:

Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet

Time-Warp Wife
Suite 5-1377 Border Street
Winnipeg, Manitoba
R3H ON1

Copyright © 2011 by Darlene Schacht

Printed and bound in Canada by Art Bookbindery

Cover design by Darlene Schacht

Foreword by Candace Cameron Bure
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form—photocopying, electronic,
audio recording, or otherwise—without written permission from the author.
 To Michael,
my God-given gift of a husband and dear friend.

And to my four blessings,

Brendan, Madison, Nathaniel and Graham.
It’s a joy to be your mom.
Table of Contents

Foreword by
Candace Cameron Bure 10
The Good Wife’s Guide 15
Learning to Manage Ourselves 21
Being Selfish is Not Okay 31
Group Your Life Inventory 40
Time Well Spent 49
My Desire for Curb Appeal 57
Domestically Challenged 63
What Will They
Take Away? 71
Repetition, Pattern, Order 78
Laughing Over Spilt Milk 84
Biblical Submission Defined 88
No Need of Spoil 96
Living in Unity 101
The Treasure of Your Heart 115
Enhance Your Inner Beauty 126
R-E-S-P-E-C-T 135
Love and Let Go 144
Toss Out 25 Things 158
Organizing Your Home 163
Housekeeping Schedule 173
Deep Clean Your Kitchen
in 5 Days 192
Deep Clean Your Bedroom 204
Deep Clean Your Bathroom 211
About the Author 221
 Foreword by
Candace Cameron Bure

My greatest role as a woman is joyfully serving my family, but I'll be the first to
say, that I'm not always joyful about it. It's one of the most difficult roles in my
life today.

I think there is a gap between what God desires for us, what we want for
ourselves, trying to emulate what we see others doing, and the honesty in it all. I
can get bummed out when I see a family from the outside who I think has it all
together. If I compare it to my own life, I feel like I'm nowhere close to where I
want to be! But I've realized that I have a choice—I can either feel defeated, or
be inspired knowing that God only expects my best. My “best” may be different
from another woman's “best,” depending on where we are in our lives.

I know as a married woman with children, God desires for me to be the wife and
mother He intended me to be. That’s my first priority--to take care of my home,
teach my children, and build up my husband into the man he's called to be.
Those three things in itself are no easy task and are often overlooked in our
society as a throwback, or as something the modern woman doesn't need to focus
on as much. I beg to differ.

I believe that families would be stronger today if we as women took back our
femininity and invested more of our strength and power in our family. Dare I say
it's almost easier to climb the corporate ladder?

Each of us has a different set of circumstances that dictate the way in which we
live our lives. It's a challenge to see beyond the fame, beyond the glory, beyond
the next self-fulfilling goal and focus on being the best wife, the best mom, and
the best caretaker of my home that my family could ever have. I'm no exception
to any of that.

Being a woman is a powerful role that God has called each of us to, and I love
the ways in which Darlene helps us focus on those priorities and live out our
desire to be “The Good Wife.”

I find joy in being a helpmeet because I know from God's blueprint for marriage
in the Bible, He intended for two to become one. When Val and I got married, I
became my husband's partner in life, and he in my mine. It didn't take me long to
realize that my life was no longer just about me, but about us.

That meant I needed to become a helper to my husband so that we, as a team,

can live out a victorious life through our faith in Christ.

Being Christians doesn't mean our lives will be easier, that we'll have less
conflict , or won’t experience ups and downs, but it does mean the way in which
we handle the roller-coaster of life is different than today's popular
psychologists’ interpretation.

I love that I can honestly say my husband is the head of our household. For me,
that equals security, that equals comfort, and that equals masculine strength that I
don't have to try to have myself. Trust me--I'm no pushover or doormat. I love
being a feminine woman whose voice is heard but I also love that my husband
makes the final decisions.

That to me takes off a load of pressure from my shoulders and allows me to be

the nurturer I am. I believe as women, we are innately designed to be caregivers,
nurturers, and lovers, and when we stop standing on our self-righteous principles
to seek God's word, we'll find joy in serving those roles where we never thought
we could.
When a family unit functions the way that God outlines it in scripture where a
man and woman are given separate roles, the family works like a well-oiled
machine. God created man and woman equally but differently. He gave us
separate roles that are of equal importance but different performance.

Just watch any cooking show on TV. How many head chefs are there? Only one-
-unless they are competing against each other. Take a look at "Iron Chef," does
the executive chef need help? Of course, that's why he has a sous-chef, the
second in command, the direct assistant to the executive chef. One fulfills the
other and this wouldn't happen if the other weren't there for him.

It's kind of the same in marriage and the family unit. Val has strengths that I
don't and vice versa. Our kids won't get the same kind of tender-hearted
patience, love or nurturing from Val that they will from me. And in the same
way, the kids won't get the same kind of discipline, tough encouraging love, and
drive from me that they will from Val.

God created man and woman to be uniquely joined together as one, and we
become one when we function the way He outlined it in scripture.

Candace Cameron Bure

www.candacecameronbure.net
Introduction
 The Good Wife’s Guide

Blessed is the home of a woman

who joyfully serves, offering gifts
by the work of her hands.
~ Darlene Schacht
Before we get into the book, I’d like to tell you what I believe and what I stand
for so that you will better understand the heart of my message and what drives
me to live as I do.

I love all things vintage: clothing, ornate furniture, dishes, and strong family
values. I cherish the days when giving one’s word meant something to her in this
life; when the sanctity of marriage was reserved for a man and his wife. When
women were women and men were just men. When the only choice society
offered was ‘life.’

I cherish vintage values, and yet I understand they are simply a means to an end.
Yes they are to be cherished, but unless I couple those values with strong
conviction based upon the Word of God and what is right in His sight, they are
nothing but tradition, custom and practice.

Good values are the roots that help little ones grow. They are the threads that
weave into the fabric of friendship. They are the strands that bind one man to his
wife. They are of great worth, but the fruit we produce as a result of those values
depend on the beliefs that are backing them up.

What I Believe
I believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God. My goal is to seek the will
of God in every area of my life, and in doing so scripture isn’t up for debate.
I believe that I was created to be my husband’s helpmeet, and that he is the
principal figure in our home. I joyfully accept this role and honor it as divine
appointment from God.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For
the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his
body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also
wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
~ Ephesians 5:22-24, KJV

I believe that I am called to ministry in my home. My role as their earthly

shepherd includes nurturing our children to grow physically, spiritually, and
mentally, nudging each little lamb should they stray.

As a Christian, I accept the Word of God to be true, and each time I apply it to
my life I quickly discover that there is a good reason God put it there. His
wisdom exceeds mine.

Does this mean that I am a doormat to my husband or that I’m compromising my

beliefs in any way? Absolutely not—I’m reinforcing them. I’m living out my
faith which is backed by belief. I’m happily choosing to be my husband’s helper
because faith powers every decision I make.

I believe that I was created with purpose, and in living out our purpose we
discover a peace which passes all understanding through Jesus Christ our Lord.

The Good Wife’s Guide

About a year ago, I came across a copy of what is called, "The Good Wife's
Guide." It looked to be a photocopy of an article published by "Housekeeping
Monthly," in May of 1955, but upon closer inspection, I got to wondering if the
article might be a hoax. I recognized the photo as one I had previously seen on
the cover of John Bull Magazine.

Wikipedia writes, "According to snopes.com, the wording "The Advertising

Archives" located on the right side of the image suggests a fraud, since the
Archives itself was not started until 1990."
So was it an email hoax? More than likely it was.

I got to reading the satirical article and so many of the points that it had were the
same ones I stress through my ministry. In particular an article I wrote titled,
“My Desire for Curb Appeal,” in which I encourage wives to joyfully serve their
families.

I clicked through several of the links online, and nearly everywhere the “guide”
was posted, it was up for much ridicule.

The sad thing in all of this is that our role as a help-meet is being diminished by
popular opinions that would rather scoff at good family values than face the truth
of God’s word.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head
of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the
Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to
their husbands in everything.
~ Ephesians 5:22-24, NIV

I’ve decided to resurrect the “Good Wife’s Guide,” in my own words, and
according to the role that I hope to fulfill in my life. It is no longer a satirical
piece written to mock the role of a help-meet, but rather a guide that leads
women toward a noble character and good family values. It’s time that we took a
stand for family values that serve to grow and protect the family unit as God
designed it to be.
Chapter One
 Learning to Manage Ourselves

Purpose is found in those quiet

moments when no one but God
sees the work of your hands.
~ Darlene Schacht
Fifty-plus years ago, when parents were raising twelve children or more, a
woman’s place was in the home, while her husband was the sole financial
provider. In today’s world where many families rely on the income of both
parents, many women are saying they have too much on their plate.

Having a family and a career is common, but hard to achieve. Combine that with
a passion to raise a healthy, close-knit family, and you have some decisions to
make. What do I cut? What do I keep? How can I be a good wife?

Titus chapter two exhorts women to love their children and to be keepers of the
home. My hope is to enforce that message while teaching you how to do it with
joy.

Now before you jump to the conclusion that this book is a manual for the “stay-
at-home mom,” let me say this SAHMs and working moms alike can both take
joy in serving their families and glean from the lessons herein.

My passion is to encourage women to love and serve their families in hopes that
we will all strive to keep our priorities straight. In doing so I’ll offer you reasons
for achieving a well-managed home backed by scripture and gleaned from
experience. As well I’ll provide you with detailed schedules for practical
application.

My goal is to encourage you to make faith and family your first priorities from a
place of sacrificial love. Whether that means that you are working inside or
outside of the home will depend on the choices you make according to your own
set of circumstances.

For the past sixteen years I’ve been blessed with employment opportunities
through which I can set my own hours and work from our home office. But as
I’ve pointed out--this is a blessing and I understand that it’s not feasible for
every mom. Unless I'm walking in your shoes I can't say what is driving you to
choose your path or where your priorities lie. I can only hope that your decisions
are grounded in faith.

Here is a letter I received from a reader along with my thoughts on “working”

moms.

Dear Darlene,

Daily you inspire women to draw upon the Lord for their strength and defy
recent conventions by being submissive (NOT the same as being a doormat) and
serving.

My marriage was a world filled with abuse and adultery, which was obviously
difficult, but I also got to be a stay-at-home mom for a few years. While it was
never an ideal situation, I did not realize until I went back to work, and left my
husband, how much of a difference it made in their lives and mine that I got to
be with them those years. I miss the time with them desperately, but single
mommas don’t get to stay at home (unless they’re remarkably fortunate).

I have a theory. I think we have developed a society where a majority of mothers

are caught in a “catch 22” of permanent mommy-guilt. If we choose to stay at
home, we are scolded for not contributing to the household income and may
have a tendency to feel under-accomplished. Should we choose to maintain
careers outside the home, we must constantly feel the guilt of knowing someone
else is raising our children for us while we miss out on their most precious and
formative moments. I’m sure it’s quite apparent which choice I would make if I
had one…but I don’t.

I might not be a wife now, but if the Lord wills it, I would like to be one again
someday. I know the next time around I will choose a man with a strong faith
and Christian values, and whether I work outside the home or not, I want to
serve God and my family by fulfilling the roles of wife and mother to the best of
my ability. Therefore, I will continue to read and glean inspiration from your
daily efforts.

Sincerely,

Single Mom

Dear Single Mom,

Thank you for your encouragement, and fellowship in the faith.

This was heavy on my mind when I went to sleep last night, as I received a letter
from another reader, also on the topic of moms working. She wondered why I
didn't support working women more than I do:

You don’t seem to blog about moms who like raising their children, but who
also enjoy working outside their household in their chosen profession. I’m a
mom and a professional, in that I work outside my home in my chosen
profession because I like it... Perhaps there is room for stay-at-home moms
and professionals who respect the stay-at-home choice, and also vice
 versa?

That's a good thought, and one to be considered.

For me the bottom line is that I encourage women to make family their first
priority and to serve them with joy, whether that means that they are working
inside of or outside of the home will depend on individual families according to
their circumstance.

In some cases, like yours, it's not possible to stay home, as you have a
responsibility to feed your children and put a roof over their head. We aren't all
blessed with the traditional situation of a working father that is able and willing
to provide for his family. In fact since the women's liberation movement we've
seen an increased number of women in the work force, and as a result men are
competing to get good paying jobs.

If a woman chooses to work because she has a passion for what she does, I don't
see anything wrong with that situation providing that her primary passion is to
her family. If we send our children off to daycare because we want a bigger
house, a cabin, a boat or more spending money, then we may be prioritizing
those things over the value of spending time with our children. We should all
search our hearts when making important decisions like this.

I could never stand in judgment of working women because I am blessed with a

work-at-home job. Unless I'm walking in their shoes I can't say what is driving
them to choose their path or where their priorities lie, nor would I want to.

Looking to scripture we see the Proverbs 31 woman selling fine linen to

merchants, buying a field, and planting a vineyard. What we also see there is a
woman who rises early to feed her household and whose children call her
"blessed."
I won't stand in a position where I pat either side on the back for the purpose of
stroking one’s ego, as I'm sure there are a large number of stay-at-home moms
who would rather sit down and watch soap operas then cuddle on the couch with
their kids or pick up a broom.

Being a stay-at-home mom shouldn't be a badge that anyone wears with pride. I
would rather that moms would take pride in quietly serving God and their
family.

All I can do is encourage women to love and serve their families in hopes that
we will all strive to keep our priorities straight.

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for
ye serve the Lord Christ.
~ Colossians 3:23-24, KJV

Sabbath Vs. Slothful

Throughout this book, I’m going to talk about managing our time in the home
well, but while we do that I’m also going to encourage you to take some time out
for rest. Being slothful, apathetic, idle, or lazy should never be confused with
enjoying some R&R. We learn from scripture that the Sabbath was created for
man and that even God himself rested on the seventh day.

Rest and relaxation are both a vital part of a well-balanced life in the same way
that fat is a necessary ingredient to our diets.

Certain fats, known as “good fats,” help our body to absorb vitamins, and
provide us with energy. In much the same way productive R&R helps us to
absorb those life-lessons that need sorting out, while providing us with energy to
take on new tasks.

Rest isn’t a problem in itself, but our misuse of it can be. We all know how good
it feels to pull the covers over our head and press the snooze button a few times,
but I have to say that a productive day feels better.

Over sleeping is an indulgent activity that should be reserved for special

occasion like Saturday mornings--not just because our parents taught us that it
was a good thing to do, but because our mornings set the stage for each day. If
we want to live productive lives then it’s time to take the reins and start leading
the way.

Up until now, many of us may have allowed our bodies to lead without question
but if we want to be a good wife who manages her house well, then we must
start by learning to manage ourselves.
Chapter Two
 Being Selfish is Not Okay

While switching channels one day, I happened upon an interview. Since they
were talking about family, it caught my attention so I paused to listen.

“Family... children...” I heard those words. Could she have the same passion and
convictions as I? I turned up the volume anxious to hear more.

Unfortunately what I heard didn’t resemble Christian living by any stretch of the
imagination. In fact it was so absurd that I turned the television off and
considered cutting cable altogether. My stomach was in knots over the attitude of
acceptance that prevailed in this interview and the fact that they let this guest
have air time.

After working oversees for a few months, this woman simply decided that she
didn’t want to be a mother any longer. She walked away from her two children
(ages 3 and 5) and her husband of 20 years to build a career. While away, she
missed her kids, but she “didn’t miss when they were throwing up seven times
during the middle of the night, and getting a call asking, ‘Can you wash
pillows?’”

What has this world come to when children are discarded like items on a yard
sale table? When we say, “I don’t want to handle the responsibility that comes
with being a parent, so I’ll step away—while someone else carries my load.”

It’s one thing to buy a pair of boots and change your mind a month or two down
the road; it’s an entirely different thing to walk away from responsibility because
life isn’t what we hoped it would be.
“Everybody has their own choices,” she said, “but my choice works for us and I
think it's not so selfish for women to say 'okay, I would like to have my own
priority, I would like to have something in my life. I would like to be able to do
my job.’"

“Not so selfish?” Is she serious? That statement is the very definition of the word
selfish: Devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s
own interest, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. (Dictionary.com)

As wives and mothers we can and should have our own interests, but when our
primary concern is our “self” to the point that we become our first priority, we
have given in to a selfish nature that isn’t lined up with scripture.

Unselfish Love
Everyone has the right to make their own choices—we do, but when those
choices affect the welfare of children, we as a society should be moral enough to
stand up against these ideas and teach women that being selfish is not “okay.”

Titus 2 exhorts women to love their children and to be keepers of the home. That
doesn’t mean that we can’t have our own interests or earn extra money, but it
does mean that we are to prioritize family because that’s what love does.

Love is not self-seeking. When you truly love someone you get up in the middle
of the night to wash pillows, regardless of how much those sheets stink, or how
tired you are.

Timothy writes to the church in respect to the care of widows. What he has to
say speaks volumes to parents as well:

But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own
house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
~ 1 Timothy 5:8, KJV
The Problem – Or Is It?

In 1963, Betty Friedan published a book called The Feminine Mystique. For only
.75 cents a copy, women would find the answers to "the problem that has no
name." This book was the catalyst for the second--and what appears to be the
most damaging--wave of women’s liberation.

“The problem is always being the children's mommy, or the minister's wife
and never being myself.”- Feminine Mystique, Chapter 1

Apparently there was a “problem” that was plaguing housewives of the day, and
according to the author, this problem could be fixed. If women turned inward
and began to focus on their needs, their careers, and their happiness, they would
find the happiness and sexual fulfilment they had been missing out on all along.

Since the author wasn’t able to give "the problem" a name--let me. It’s called,
“sacrificial love,” and according to the Bible, it’s the only love worth giving.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,

it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not
dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not
easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with
the truth. It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, NIV
Was there really a “problem” or were a few women creating an issue that didn’t
exist?

I pray that women today will step up and realize the fallacy that this teaching
offers. Seeking fulfilment by putting our own needs ahead of others brings
temporal highs that fade quickly.
If you’re seeking true joy with long-lasting results, it can only be found by
building virtue upon faith. That's where you'll find fulfillment, and that's where
you'll find your true purpose in life.

Turning Back the Clock

I’m not always politically correct. But as you might have noticed, that doesn’t
stop me from sharing what I see as truth. I've been accused of singlehandedly
turning back the clock on women's rights, and I can see where that accusation is
coming from. Joyfully serving your family? Submitting to your husband?
Letting him be the head of your household? These ideas are fading into the past
as modern women would prefer to wear the proverbial pants in the family--or at
least a matching pair.

I’d like to address the question on everyone's lips, "Why should husbands get the
final say?"

I'll start by saying this; letting him have the final say doesn't mean that you can't
have a discussion and share your ideas. A good marriage should have channels
of communication by which husbands and wives both offer ideas and determine
solutions.

There should be mutual respect where both parties give and take of each other’s
thoughts. And there needs to be an attitude of acceptance where both a man and
his wife can offer their voice.

But at the end of the day, he gets the executive vote.

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the
head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
~ 1 Corinthians 11:3, KJV

There's a reason why this works out for the best, and that reason has a lot to do
with the fact that men and women are wired differently. It's a scientific fact that
we have differing chromosomes, we are shaped differently and we deal with a
monthly cycle including PMS. We are generally more sensitive, and as much as
we hate to admit it--we cry.

Women have the ability to keep their emotions in check, don't get me wrong. I'm
not saying that we fall apart as soon as the going gets tough. But what I am
saying is that at the end of the day, women are more likely to suffer emotional
turmoil while men stop to consider logistics.

However, more importantly than the obvious fact that men and women are
different, the reason we submit to our husbands is because we are commanded in
scripture to do so. God’s wisdom doesn’t always sit right with mankind, and it
doesn’t have to. Faith tells me that His wisdom exceeds mine and therefore I put
my trust in His infallible Word.

Yes, that's politically incorrect, and to some it may be viewed as turning back the
clock on women's rights. I get that. But really, what are the rights of a woman?
Better said, what are the rights of mankind? Certainly we're given our
constitutional rights, but who gives us those rights?
The way I look at scripture, we're given one right and only one--the ability to
choose. Anything and everything else we are given is grace.

If that's turning back the clock on women's rights, then I say turn it back and
keep turning it back until men and women accept scripture as truth that is both
applicable and beneficial to families today.

And if it seem evil unto you to

serve the LORD, choose you this
day whom ye will serve...
but as for me and my house,
we will serve the LORD.
~ Joshua 24:15, KJV
Chapter Three
 Group Your Life Inventory

As you’ll quickly discover I’m learning to lean just like you. I don’t have it all
together—nobody does. In fact there are times when I’m dropping the balls, and
there are days when I cry out to the Lord because I know that I’m struggling and
in desperate need of His help.

I understand what it’s like to lose control of the mess and start feeling the stress,
and so I’m writing this book for those women who are doing their best, but
might find themselves failing time and again.

If you’re one of those women, stop right where you are and consider this
thought: where you are today does not dictate where you will be tomorrow. You
have the ability to get your surroundings under control, to manage your home
well, and find time to relax. My goal is to teach you how.

Let’s begin this journey by looking at the following prayer: I’m using it as an
illustration because it contains three vital points that we all should consider:

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
~ Reinhold Niebuhr

What’s interesting about that prayer is that it teaches us to group our life
inventory, to-do lists, busy schedules, workload, or whatever you want to call it
into three categories:

1. The things I cannot change.

2. The things I can.
3. The wisdom to know the difference.
These are the three points that you’ll find echoed throughout the pages of this
book. We can't change the fact that we have laundry, dishes, school work, and
cooking to do, but we can limit the time we lend to other things like television,
internet, talking on the phone, texting, going out for coffee, and ministry outside
the home.

Most women I know are busy. There are times when we take on too much. I’ve
been there, and I’ll venture to guess that many of you have as well. That’s when
it’s time to step back and take an inventory. Sit down and decide what needs to
stay and where you need to cut back. Doing this means that we must be willing
to make some sacrifices whether personal or financial in order to keep faith and
family as our top two priorities, in that order.
Discipline and Self-Sacrifice

My hope is to offer you life-lasting results. In order to do that, discipline and

self-sacrifice must go hand in hand.

Let’s start by learning what each of them are, and how they differ:

Discipline is “teaching and training yourself” which is where this book will be
your aid. It will offer you ways train yourself in areas that tend to get out of
control and it will provide you with schedules to keep you on track.

Self-sacrifice is much different. It’s giving up our interests and desires for a
cause. That “giving up” of ourselves is key to being a good wife, keeping an
organized house, raising good children, and most importantly living a victorious
life in Christ.

Most people look to discipline before they look at self-sacrifice hoping that a
new schedule or book will do the trick. But just like those who go on crash diets,
they return to the life they once had time and again because they aren't willing to
give up anything. They want their surroundings to change rather than doing the
heart work it takes to get from point A to point B.
If you ever read Reshaping it All a book I co-authored with Candace Cameron
Bure, this concept might sound familiar to you. It’s a vital step in reshaping any
area of our life including our home and our marriage.

Set Priorities

Look at that prayer again. It says, "Wisdom to know the difference." The Bible
tells us that if you lack wisdom ask God for it (James 1:5). Pray about your
priorities and then set them according to the wisdom that you have been given.
Once your priorities are set, decide on the things that you need to keep and the
things that you need to cut. Those things you need to cut should include physical
junk (excess) as well as time wasters.

What things have to stay?

Where can we cut back or make changes?
What should our priorities be?

Answering those three questions should give us a good starting point.

Did you catch that definition? Self-sacrifice is giving up our interest and desires
for a cause. And how do we determine the cause? We apply wisdom.

We need to decide once and for all what things are important to us and then set
our priorities wisely. If a clean house is important to you, and your house is a
mess then I'm going to step out and guess that it's not a priority to you.

But let me say that's not always a bad thing. If you have a newborn child, then
taking care of that baby needs to be a priority and as a result the housework
might falter. If you are taking care of a sick parent, then again you might need to
make that your priority. So what I am saying here is that our priorities won't be
the same as the next person--that's just how life is.

But babies and sick parents aside, consider your home. Are things ordered the
way that they should be? If not, then ask yourself how much of a priority
keeping the home is to you.

Be bold enough to ask yourself these tough questions too:

Do you prioritize the Lord enough to spend time in prayer, to read your
Bible, to teach it to your children? We’ll often hear women say that they
love the Lord, but can’t find time to read their Bibles.
 I’m reminded of the year that Michael and I met. We both had full-time jobs
and busy schedules, but because of our affection toward each other, we
suddenly discovered that we had plenty of time to spend together. We had
time because without even realizing it, we were prioritizing each other and
making it work.

Where does your family fit in? Are you a stay-at-home mom so that you
can care for your children or your internet friends? Are you working two
jobs to provide for your family or to feed your lust for the world?

Because I’m a writer, I have an amazing schedule. I can choose when I want to
work and how much I want to work. This is wonderful because I usually write
when the kids are asleep or in school. Once the family is home I can shut my
computer and give them my full attention.

But there are times when like everyone else, I get caught up in my work. I see
opportunities and I grab them. Speaking engagements, radio interviews, celebrity
books… all of those things are wonderful opportunities to be desired unless of
course they draw me away from embracing my role of a help-meet, being a good
wife, and raising my children.
I can write about being a good wife until I’m blue in the face, but if I’m not
living that role I’m nothing more than a clanking symbol.

That’s where trust in God’s plan must come into play. We have to believe that
there is a time and a season for everything. Saying “no” today isn’t about closing
a door; it’s leaving a room empty enough for God to fill it with something better.
Chapter Four
 Time Well Spent

We started giving our kids allowance about four years ago according to age. It’s
not much, but enough to buy a snack, put a dollar into offering, and put a little
away for something bigger like a video game or sports equipment. What I
quickly noticed was that Nathaniel and Maddy were eager to spend their money
on anything and everything they could get their hands on. They nickel and dime
themselves at every turn until the last nickel and dime has been spent on junk. At
the end of each week, they have little to nothing to show for their money. On the
other hand, Graham is able to see the bigger picture and saves accordingly. He’s
interested in investing his money for bigger and better things like a trip or tickets
to a hockey game. At twelve years old, he’s even started talking about saving for
a house, and after watching the way he disciplines himself, I don’t doubt that he
could!

In much the same way, some people look at the bigger picture and invest their
time accordingly while others waste the time they have. There are a number of
reasons that we waste time, some of which are:

• We’re lazy
• We’re unfocussed
• We’re disorganized
• We lack moderation
• We’re apathetic about the future
• We lack understanding and wisdom

We’re all given the same amount of hours in each day, but those who manage
their time well accomplish so much more than those who waste time surfing the
net, watching television, talking on the phone, or sleeping in late. Those things
aren’t a problem unless they consume too much of our time. The goal is to be
moderate in all things so that we’re living a balanced life.
I’m reminded of the parable of the talents in Matthew chapter 25. A certain man
went on a journey, and while he was away he distributed his wealth to each of
three servants. Two servants invested their money (referred to as talents), while
the third servant buried it in the ground. When the master returned, two of the
servants had a good return on their investment which they were able to offer
their master, while the third servant did not.
What we see here is that one servant was lazy, and as a result, his talent was
taken from him and given to the servant with greatest increase.

If we’re seeking a life of contentment and peace, we can’t bury our heads in the
sand while life passes us by. Those who seek to be a good wife soon realize that
conscious living and practice are required of us. We invest in those things that
are given to us from the Lord, including our time.

Here's the thing... when we think about time management we begin to focus on
the time-wasters that surround us like television, internet, and the telephone. But
the bottom line is that change begins in the heart where a battle is constantly
taking place.

Our flesh wrestles with our spirit as it attempts to get its own way. Meanwhile
the Spirit directs us to value God and our family, to prioritize them above
everything else, and to avoid the tendency we have to be lazy.

The question is, which one do you choose?

The greatest investment that we can make is living a purposeful life in

everything that we do.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a
roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ~ 1 Peter 5:8

Self-Imposed Pressure
Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the clock? That regardless of how good your
intentions may be you never seem to get enough done? And if you do get caught
up, you can’t seem to stay there? There’s a never ending rotation of dishes, there
are always more tummies to feed, and the laundry pile is replenished on the
hour…

Here’s an interesting statistic: 70% of employees work beyond scheduled time

and on weekends; more than half cited "self-imposed pressure" as the
reason. (Society for Human Resource Management, Spring 2009)

Although many of my readers including myself are stay-at-home moms, I found

that statistic to be an interesting one, because I think that “self-imposed
pressure” is a common trait in many of us.

My husband will be the first to tell you that I work great under pressure. I can
balance 52 balls at once, but put one task in my hand and I’m dropping it left
right and center. The concentration and motivation to get the job done isn’t
fueling my fire as effectively as when I’m put under pressure.

That’s not a good thing because when I am under pressure I give less time to my
family, and I tend to sleep less which makes for a grumpy wife in the morning.

Go to the Ant

What’s the solution? The Bible tells us to observe the ant…

Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having
no guide, overseer, or ruler, provideth her meat in the summer, and
gathereth her food in the harvest. ~ Proverbs 6:6-7, KJV

There are two kinds of women in this world, one who much like the ant plans
wisely, and one who flies by the seat of her pants hoping that her cards will fall
into place. Flying by the seat of your pants is also known as “impulse,” or acting
without forethought.

Consider this: what happens to your body when you start eating impulsively?
For many of us, we gain weight, we feel sluggish, and our health is impaired. So
it is with life. Wasting time or being over committed can lead us to that place
where we are feeling the weight of over-commitment, which is not the most
comfortable shape to be in.

And much like a diet where we consider "calories in and calories out," we're
dealing with "time in and time out." You are given 1,440 minutes every day—
use them wisely!

In other words plan your day. Get up in the morning pull out a pen and jot down
the things that you’d like to see done. Secondly try to get those items on your list
done early in the day in case things come up unexpectedly.

The other day I put off my housekeeping for late afternoon. It turns out that my
mom decided to come over for a visit, and just before she did I got a call from
the church that I had to run down there and take care of a minor emergency. By
the time I finished with all of that, picked up the kids from school, ran to the
supermarket, and got dinner started, it was about 5:00 and I was rushing around
the house to get my cleaning done.

If I had taken a page from the ant, like the Bible suggests that we do, I would
have been prepared. The house would have been clean when my mom came
over, and I wouldn’t have felt the stress that comes with work overload.

Planning Ahead

Planning ahead and setting priorities (whether they are of big importance or
small) make for a happier mom! Planning eliminates the last-minute rush and
setting priorities ensures that we don't impose as much pressure on our
schedules.
If you'd like to start your own daily planner, here's what I suggest that you do.
Either pick one up at the stationary store or make one of your own. All you need
to get started is a three ring binder that holds 8.5 x 11 inch sheets of paper. If you
can find one with a front pocket--even better as it is handy for storing receipts
and important papers!

I have also created some daily printables that you can print off and use, which
are available at my website: www.timewarpwife.com.

Each page has the monthly calendar at a glance, and the following sections to
write in:

• To Do's - Things you need to do today

• Hope To Do's - Additional things you'd like to do if time permits
• Prayer Requests
• Reminders
• Bible Reading - What you plan to read in the Bible or a verse that comes
to mind
• Groceries
• Thinking Ahead - Goals or future commitments
• People to Call

You can either print them off from my website or create your own, save the file
on your computer and print the pages off as you need them.
Chapter Five
 My Desire for Curb Appeal

If you've ever watched HGTV, listed a home for sale or worked in a real estate
office, you've heard the term "curb appeal." Curb appeal offers potential buyers a
good first impression. It signals pride of ownership before they step through the
door. It leads the guest to believe that the interior is well kept. It tells visitors that
you care about the space in which you live.

It's a well-known fact to all of us that curb appeal can boost the beauty and value
of one’s home. In fact we had a friend who went as far as mowing his neighbors'
lawn on each side of their house just so that the neighbourhood looked well kept.
Incidentally they got an amazing return on their sale.

I miss the days when detail intensified the beauty of architecture, and when
homes lining the streets were different one from another. When brass door
handles, ornate mail slots and chiming door bells were the first things to
welcome one home; when ornate windows framed each beam of sunlight that
crept into a room until it found rest.

I live in a home, that I've taken special care to add character to. One particular
hobby of mine has been designing our front yard with over-sized flower gardens
and a cobblestone deck. Blue Adirondack chairs with striped pillows are a
welcome sign to our guests, while a large floral wreath draws them toward our
red door.

I spend hours on end planting my flowers, carrying stone, and pulling the weeds
that threaten my plants--all this in hopes that I've welcomed my family and
friends.
Of equal importance to me, however, is the welcome I offer my husband each
day. From the moment he steps through the door, I want our house to feel like a
home. I want life inside that door to be a haven of comfort and rest. And I want
my husband to know I'm his help-meet.

When Daddy comes home, the children know that all activity ceases and quality
attention is given to him. This curb appeal not only boosts the beauty of our
relationship, it signals the pride of ownership that we share, and tells him that
he's valued in our home.

Life can be busy and dinner time can be especially hectic, but with just a little
effort on our part we can make a lasting impression. I know that even five extra
minutes of my time can make the difference, and set the stage for a great
evening. It's the little things that count.

Things I Do to Prepare for My Husband

We have all chores done before he walks in the door, and try to have things
like the dishwasher and vacuum turned off.

I make sure that the television and stereos are turned off so that the house is
peaceful.
If the kids are excited about something, I encourage them to wait about 15
minutes before they share their news.

I try to have dinner prepared before he arrives. For me it's not always
cooked, but the preparation is usually done.

When I have problems to deal with, I wait until after dinner to spring it on
him. I know that he's always happier when his tummy is full.

I always greet him at the door with open arms, a kiss, and a warm embrace.

I make an effort to look at him when he is speaking so that he has my full

attention.
I close my computer if I'm on it, and if I'm chatting on the phone I'll try to
end the conversation and call her back later.
Since curb appeal is the first thing that our husbands they see when they walk
through the door, home-improvement is something all wives should consider. It's
not a difficult task by any means, and the end result is well worth the investment
we make.

Here are a few of the ways we can prepare ourselves and our house before our
husbands come home. We all love to come home to a clean and tidy house, but
let’s not forget that husbands also appreciate a clean and tidy wife:

Take a look in the mirror an hour before your husband arrives to ensure that
you are presentable. An hour allows ample time to hop into the shower if
need be.

Go light on the perfume, but use great smelling soaps, shampoo, and
antiperspirant so he’ll want to snuggle up for the evening.
If you wear makeup, put a little on before he walks in. Your goal is to look
happy and radiant--not done up.
Dress in feminine clothing. If he’s like most men, he’s more attracted to
women than fashion, so do your best to wear styles, fabrics and colors that
remind him you’re a woman and not another one of the guys. Dress as well
for him as you would for new friends.
Don’t be angry if he’s working late, instead show appreciation for long
hours put in.
Have the kids wash their faces, and change their clothing if they are soiled
from play before Daddy comes home.
Don’t nag him about his day or try to reshape his bad habits. Work on your
own and practice acceptance at all times.
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
~ Proverbs 31:10, NIV
Chapter Six
 Domestically Challenged

I guess you could define me as "domestically challenged." Cleaning and cooking

have never come easy to me. In fact I was the one sister of six who had more
clothes on the floor of her bedroom than I had in the drawers. Mixed in with the
clothes you'd find a curling iron, Seventeen Magazines, makeup, note books,
scraps of fabric, and art supplies. And while my sisters baked on Saturday
mornings I slept off the late Friday nights.

I always had trouble hitting the hay, because I was constantly focused on a new
project that had to get done. I can't count the number of Saturday's I started
sewing a dress that had to be finished and ready to wear for church the next
morning.

I later came to learn that I had ADHD with a tendency to over focus--a strong
tendency. You see the rest of the world can fall apart around me while I'm
working on a project and I probably won't notice until it's complete.

When I got married and started a family of my own, I realized that going to bed
in the wee hours of the morning was rarely an option, and that I was facing a
challenge when it came to housekeeping.

Not having the natural ability to organize myself, I managed to find direction in
lists, schedules, and a few trusted recipes kept me on track until years of practice
made me into the not-so-perfect housewife I am today.

The inadequacies of my life serve to remind me of Paul's letter to the

Corinthians:

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is
 made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my
infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ~ 2 Coriinthians
12:9

Paul also points out in 1 Corinthians that he hadn't come to them with eloquence
of speech, but rather in weakness, fear, and trembling. His preaching was a
demonstration of the Spirit. In much the same way, Moses was unskilled in
speech, but God appointed him as a leader.

But Moses said to the LORD, "If the Israelites will not listen to me, why
would Pharaoh listen to me, since I speak with faltering lips?"
~ Exodus 6:12, NIV
Scripture after scripture we see God equipping those He calls. Whether He is
calling you to be a missionary overseas or a keeper of your home, He is not
calling the skilled, because as we know He is more than able to equip you at any
time!

I've come to realize that being a keeper of my home doesn't require flawless
perfection, and never has. It's all about being a gift to my family and to the Lord
through the small sacrifices I've made with a willing heart:

• Getting up with a crying baby

• Making meals when I'm tired and uncreative
• Picking up after the kids
• Changing diapers
• Holding back anger to communicate well
• Cleaning up after the flu
• Offering a heart of forgiveness
• Waking early to make breakfast for the kids
• Scrubbing toilets
• Emptying garbage
• Teaching at the dining room table
• Going to bed last because I have to lock doors, tuck in children and turn
off lights
• Dropping everything I'm doing to comfort someone's pain
 • Driving, driving, and more driving
• Doing without so that the needs of our family are met

And the list goes on...

Domestically challenged? No problem. "Sacrifice" - that's what joyfully serving

entails.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present

your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your
reasonable service. ~ Romans 12:1, KJV

June Cleaver Syndrome

Through my readers I’ve come to learn that so many of us want to be a good

wife and mother, but we can’t help feeling that we never meet our own
expectations, let alone anyone else's.

We make plans and schedules that we follow for a while with the best of
intentions, but too often we give up and return to old habits.

I think that there are two things we need to consider here. One is what my sister
Betty calls, "June Cleaver Syndrome." That is when our expectations are based
on who we think we should be according to the high standards we see around us
rather than celebrating the women that we were created to be.

June Cleaver Syndrome, develops when we're busy imitating someone else's
expectations, rather than those that are a reasonable fit for our lifestyle. We have
an idea of what a "perfect" mom should look like, but that image isn't anything
near to the woman we are.

This desire for perfection can take the shape of anything from body image to the
way we clean our house.
Let me give you an example. My sister Kathy is an organizational freak. Every
nook and cranny in her house is well organized. Even her plastic bags are folded
into perfect little triangles and carefully placed in their perfect little drawer.

I'm a writer. You won't hear the word "perfect" when it comes to describing my
drawers. My bags are crumpled up and literally stuffed into a clothespin bag that
I hang on the kitchen wall. I like a tidy house that is comfortable and clean, but
if you pop in unexpected, you'll see a house that looks lived in.

With that said, let me address my second point: “self-control.” The fact that I'm
not a clean freak doesn't give me a ticket to be lazy in that area of my life.
Scripture after scripture tells me that I'm called to be self-controlled in every
area of my life.

He that hath no rule over his own spirit

is like a city that is broken down,
and without walls.
~ Proverbs 25:28, KJV

Ruling our spirit isn't any easier than training our body to run a marathon. It
takes patience, repetition, exercise, and action. Those who are domestically-
challenged need to stay focused and avoid the temptation to let the mess get out
of control.

I failed high school English, but failure doesn't dictate my future. I have written
two books, I own a self-publishing company, and I'm a New York Times best-
selling author. Failing merely meant that it wasn't time to give up.

Rather than letting our past failures set the stage for our future, they should be
the very thing that tells us we need to press on!

Here's a quote I wrote for a post on www.reshapingitall.com. I love how it

applies to every area of my life and sums up the two points I'm making here:

What about those nights when you get so down on yourself because you
made a mistake? Have you ever thrown the plan out the window because
you didn’t meet your own high level of expectation? We’re not created to be
perfect—we’re created to press on!
And let’s not forget the words of Paul in his letter to the Philippians:

Not as though I had already attained,

either were already perfect: but I
follow after, if that I may apprehend
that for which also I am
apprehended of Christ Jesus.
~ Philippians 3:12
Chapter Seven
 What Will They
Take Away?

As my children are growing and watching every move that I make I'm careful to
put my best attitude forward. Whether it's about waking early or hitting the
books, I strive to reflect a level of enthusiasm in hopes that it might ignite a fire,
and spur them on to embrace a good attitude of their own.

The first thing I've had to do is change my sleep patterns. We've gone from
enjoying the lazy days of vacation to a structured school day all within a 24 hour
period. This transition hasn't been easy since there was so much to do. I had to
start getting up earlier again, getting four lunches made, and helping with
homework. On top of that, my mom’s been sick so I’ve been helping out over
there a lot.
Life can be chaotic at times, but I've recently discovered that the key to
controlling this chaos is sacrifice.

Why sacrifice? Let me explain.

The World English Dictionary defines "sacrifice" this way: a surrender of
something of value as a means of gaining something more desirable or of
preventing some evil.

The truth is that I don't want to go to bed earlier, and I don't want to get up early
either, I'd rather lie in bed and enjoy the warmth of those incredible blankets for
a little bit longer. But when I surrender my attitude and my desires to do the best
thing for my family, I gain structure and discipline which work to calm the
chaos. It offers us more time in the morning to get ready for the day.

Everything that I present to my family is a reflection of my heart. I can either

show them that I value them by giving of myself with joy, or I can do it
begrudgingly because it's something that has to be done.
Either path that I choose will be a learning tool that my children study as they
grow. That's why I have to stop and ask myself, What is it that I want them to
see? And then live accordingly.

Am I smiling? Am I affectionate? Do I show love, honor and respect to their

father? Am I living a life of faith that they will be compelled to follow or one
that will chase them away?

Some of those questions may appear to be minor considerations, while others are
vital questions that we all need to consider. These are, after all, lives that have
been placed in our care.

What do I have to offer them, and what will they take away?

Keep Your Attitude in Check

When I encourage wives to joyfully serve I’ll often suggest that they look past
the family. Look through them almost as if they’re transparent—to where you
see God, so that you’re doing the work for the Lord. That’s where you want your
glory to be--not through the praise of mankind.

Everything we do should be for the glory of God, and so if you’re cleaning for
someone and you feel resentful, change your perspective on it. Say, “You know
what? I’m doing this for the Lord, and I desire to please Him.”

With that idea in mind, a fellow blogging friend told me that she used to post this
verse on a card and hang it above her sink where she was doing dishes,

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord,
not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance
from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. ~
 Colossians 3:23-24, NIV

I love that verse because it reminds me that even something as seemingly

insignificant as doing the dishes can be done unto the Lord. After all, there’s no
better way to joyfully serve than with a heart of worship!

If that verse encourages us to joyfully serve, then why stop at the kitchen sink?
Wouldn’t it be uplifting to post scripture around the house as a reminder that we
are serving the Lord with a heart of worship?

I think it would! So I dug out a few of my favorite scriptures that I thought might
be a good fit around the house.
Here they are:

The Family Room:

Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.
~ Psalm 34:3, NIV

By The Laundry Pile:

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the LORD is to
be praised.
~ Psalm 113:3, NIV
On a Bedroom Door:
Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.
~ Psalm 127:1, NIV
Inside a Cupboard Door:
She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions
for her maidens.
~ Proverbs 31:15, NIV

The Front Entrance:

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
~ Joshua 24:15b, NIV

The Night Stand:

Do everything without arguing and complaining.
~ Philippians 2:14, NIV

Your Computer Monitor:

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God be not blasphemed..
~ Titus 2:5, NIV

The Bathroom Sink or Makeup Table:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not
obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,
when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
~ 1 Peter 3:1, NIV
Chapter Eight
 Repetition, Pattern, Order

She asks not how her behavior may please a stranger, or

how another’s judgment may approve her conduct; let her
beloved
be content and she is glad.
~ Charles Spurgeoon
After taking one look at the little cafe, I knew that I had to call my husband in
from the car. The red vinyl booths, mini juke boxes at every table, and the
checkerboard floor were a welcomed blast to the past. But what really caught my
eye was the way that the vinyl bar stools lined up in perfect order.

Repetition, pattern, order. It was woven throughout the coffee shop, and it was
breathtaking!

Equally as breathtaking is when one finds those three things incorporated into a
family unit. It's been proven over and over that children respond to repetition.
They learn better through repetition and their bodies even respond to repetition.

Take bed time for example. If we hit the hay at 10 pm every night, our body
naturally prepares itself to rest at that time. And good habits like brushing one's
teeth, or washing our hands are incorporated into our daily routine by constant
repetition.

What about pattern? We see patterns everywhere in nature. Just take a look at
any flower garden and we see repetitious patterns on nearly every plant, from the
stems to the petals.
Families that set patterns for their children offer them a sense of comfort.

Eat - play- snack - sleep, might be one.

Chores - snack - homework - play, might be another. And disobedience -
consequence, is yet another.

Order is one that many modern families prefer to ignore—at least family order
as laid out in scripture. We see it in nature, we see it in business, we see it in
politics, we even see it in the tri-unity of God, but time and again we fail to see it
in the home.

When Dad is the head of the household, and mom is second in command we
develop a sense of order. It doesn't make mom or the children any less important;
instead it assigns an order of accountability to each person.

In an article published by actress/author Candace Cameron Bure, entitled

"Submissive is Not a Four-Letter Word," Candace said, "Think of it [a wife's
submission] in military terms. You have a commanding officer and a soldier.
There is a chain of command. Does that make the soldier's role less important?
Of course it doesn't. If everyone was a commanding officer, there would be
chaos.

Same thing in your household; having two heads of authority doesn't work by
design. Once a conflict arises, you will both stand on your principles until
someone compromises, or worse--not, and the other will feel defeated. Most
likely it will be your husband who'll do the compromising because it will be
easier to give in than listen to his unhappy wife. This cycle will continue on in
your marriage, only to have your husband feel he's incapable of making good
decisions for your family, that you don't respect him, and ultimately find himself
looking for a woman who will."

I love Candace’s passion for being her husband’s help-meet, and her
understanding of family order, which is why I approached her about writing the
forward for this book. It’s refreshing to see modern women like Candace
embracing their God-given role rather than trying to sweep it under the rug.

Stand By Your Man

There’s no greater gift that a wife can provide to her husband than that role
divinely fashioned by God.

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a
helper suitable for him.”
~ Genesis 2:18

Being a help-meet says that my husband is the principal figure in our home. It
doesn’t mean that our marriage isn’t a partnership, or that I am less of a person
in the eyes of God. I am equal in the eyes of God, but have a different job than
that of my husband. In order for any company to run smoothly, there must be a
chain of command. It’s for this reason that large companies have a CEO,
managers, assistant managers, employees, shareholders, etc. It works for
organizations and families alike because it makes good common sense.

Tammy Wynette wrote a song in 1968 called, “Stand by Your Man.” The lyrics
are about love, understanding, and forgiveness in a relationship. This song was a
catalyst for feminists who wanted to jump on the band wagon saying that it
promoted domestic abuse. Anyone who comes out with a similar message of
devotion is likely to face the same line of criticism by those who don’t
understand.

But abuse is not what I’m talking about. Letting a man physically or mentally
abuse you is a separate issue altogether and one that requires intervention from
skilled professionals. What I’m talking about is respect and order in the house.
Look up the lyrics of that song sometime and you’ll be reminded of the old-
fashioned values that we’ve been conditioned to forget.
Chapter Nine
 Laughing Over Spilt Milk

Where no oxen are, the crib is clean:

but much increase is by the
strength of the ox.
~ Proverbs 14:4, KJV
My “crib” isn't always in order, but walk into my sister Bonnie’s house at any
hour of the day and you won’t find a shoe out of place. Same thing with my
sister Kathy. In fact Kathy told me yesterday that she “folds” her underwear
before putting them in the drawer.

I like a tidy house, but with four kids around I don’t take the time to fold panties,
like I used to. Actually I don’t think I ever did. But I remember a time when I
would deep clean the house and it would look just as clean four days later. Those
were the days before kids.

These days, maintenance takes more time than deep cleaning ever did. Ten
minutes after I clean the house it’s right back to where I started, unless I’m on
them every minute, making sure they clean up after themselves. You wouldn’t
believe what’s growing in a cup in our bathroom—gummy bears! Nathaniel
wanted to see how large they’d grow in a cup of water. Apparently they grow a
lot!

But I’m blessed. Life is messy, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Busy
children trump an immaculate house any day of the week. Does it really matter
that my carpet has a juice stain on it, or that my cupboard drawer no longer
works because Graham thought it was a stepping stool? Things can be replaced,
but nothing can replace the feeling of “home” that one gets when a house is
bustling with children.
A Season for Everything

Don’t get me wrong. I see the importance of cleaning our homes, and believe
that it’s an essential part of ownership. It creates a comfortable atmosphere for
the ones that we love, and helps to bring order to our home. But there are still
those times when it’s okay to laugh over spilt milk, put whip cream on your chin,
and climb up on the cupboards to roll dough with your mom. That's what living
is all about.
While my kids are young and busy, and while I’m picking up after their every
move, I'm reminded of the following scripture:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the
heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to
uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to
build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to
dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace
and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give
up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to
mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to
hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, NIV
Looking back on my marriage of 23 years I see that to be true. There have been
tough times, and there has been laughter. We've seen death and experienced life.
We've experienced the strain of unemployment, and the success of a growing
business. We've shared joy and we've shared sorrow. It's true.

And with that I also see that, "He has made everything beautiful in its
time." (verse 11)
Chapter Ten
 Biblical Submission Defined

God speaks with authority on every

subject including marriage, and
His advice trumps Oprah’s every time.
~ Kirk Cameron
My sister had an interesting conversation with a woman at work. They were
reading an article in our local paper about my ministry when this woman stopped
short at the word, “submission.”

Raising her head from the page, she asked my sister, “She doesn’t really believe
this, does she?”

This is the common reaction I get. People would rather see that word tucked
away nicely in scripture where they feel it belongs, rather than exposing it to a
modern society.

Scripture isn’t a candy bowl by which we pick and choose our favorite words
hoping to satiate our palette. It’s a well-balanced diet of truth which is difficult to
swallow at times, but nevertheless it brings nourishment to our soul.

I liked my sister’s answer, which was this. “Yes, she does believe that, but do
you really understand what submission means?”

Look carefully at the way that John Piper explains it, “Headship is the divine
calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like, servant
leadership, protection and provision in the home. Submission is the divine
calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it
through according to her gifts.”

Submission doesn’t mean that we’re weak-minded, feeble, or frail. It means that
we’re empowered by choice, and that we’re dedicated to esteeming others higher
than ourselves.

We teach our children to take the high road when the going gets tough—to walk
away from a fight. We tell them how much more blessed it is to give than for one
to receive. We enforce the golden rule of “love your neighbor as yourself.” But
we can’t accept the reality that loving someone as much as we love ourselves
means that we must be willing to sacrifice your own desires for their happiness.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value

others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you
to the interests of the others.
~ Philippians 2:3-4, NIV

Here’s an example. Consider a woman who is conscious of her health. She lives
a lifestyle that will benefit her rather than one that fulfills her desire. She gets up
at 7 am to work out because her body is under submission to her flesh. Does this
mean that she’s any weaker than someone who lives impulsively? Absolutely
not. Her ability to submit to good choice is the very thing that makes her strong.

The benefits of living in submission to your husband are many, and that’s a good
thing. But really the bottom line isn’t whether it benefits us or not. That’s where
society errs. They measure God’s wisdom against their own, accept those ideas
they like, and reject those they don’t.

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine,

for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of
God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works. ~ 2 Timothy
3:16-17,KJV
The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth

The word “submission,” isn’t acceptable in this day and age. In fact from what
I’ve seen, it’s deemed rather offensive to most non-believers. Christians on the
other hand accept the term, but some kindly suggest that we be hush-hush about
such matters.

That’s odd, because from what I’ve read, the disciples weren’t quiet about it, in
fact the word “submit” appears in the Bible several times as we are commanded
to submit to our husbands, submit to our God, submit to the ordinances of man,
submit to our elders, and submit one to another.

I won’t sugar coat or water down the commandments of God to tickle the ears of
the weak. Majority doesn’t rule, and popularity doesn’t hold the deciding vote.

Titus 2:5 tells older women to instruct younger women to be “obedient” to their
husbands. The Greek word for “obedient” is hypotassō - Strong’s Concordance
G5293:

This word was a Greek military term meaning "to arrange [troop divisions]
in a military fashion under the command of a leader." In non-military use, it
was "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility,
and carrying a burden."

It’s the same word we see being used here:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own

husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
~ Colossians 3:18

With that in mind, what does a submissive relationship look like? Does that
mean that we have an over-bearing husband and a timid wife?

Absolutely not, the ideal picture of submission is that of two people loving and
serving each other.

Consider this, Paul writes to the Ephesians in chapter five instructing husbands
to love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it." So what
we see here isn’t the role of a tyrant, we see a man who spent his last hours
washing the feet of his disciples. He came in the form of a servant and humbled
himself before man and God.

Let this mind be in you, which was also in

Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God,
thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
But made himself of no reputation, and took
upon him the form of a servant, and was made
in the likeness of men: And being found in
fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and
became obedient unto death, even the
death of the cross. ~ Philippians 2:5-8

Some of us want nothing more than to point this out to our husbands so that he’s
pulling his weight. It's so much easier to instruct others than it is to instruct
ourselves--to work on improving their walk of faith rather than improving our
own.

But the truth is that my ministry isn’t for the purpose of instructing your husband
or my husband on how to be Christ like. My role as a woman is to encourage
you to be the best wife, mother, homemaker, or hopeful bride you can be. In
doing so I’ll ask you to swallow your pride from time to time. I’ll encourage you
to walk in humility, esteeming others higher than yourself. I’ll pray for you as
you carry your cross. And I’ll rejoice with you as together we joyfully serve!
Chapter Eleven
 No Need of Spoil

As a keeper of my home, I am entrusted with the responsibility of taking care of

the things that we have. My husband supports our family financially, so if I make
a big supper and leave the leftovers on the cupboard to spoil overnight I’m
wasting money that he has laboured for. Or for example, if I’m not diligent to
turn off the lights when I leave a room or turn down the heat at night, I’m
showing disrespect to my husband and setting an example of disrespect to my
children.

When I ask my husband to pick up milk on the way home, he can trust that I
don’t have a jug full in the back of the fridge turning green.

In the same way, we take care of our things to honour God. Everything we have
is a gift from Him. Whether your husband takes home the paycheck or you both
do, all that we have comes from above.

The way to avoid waste is by making an effort to take care of our things, and by
avoiding the temptation to be lazy. It feels like I’m doing something productive
when I’m on the computer, but too often I get drawn away by the temptation to
vedge out on facebook, twitter, and blogger. Not that those things are wrong
necessarily, but the time we spend online needs to be kept in check. Idleness, that
takes us away from work that needs to be done, is in every way a form of
laziness.

He also that is slothful in his work is

brother to him that is a great waster.
~ Proverbs 18:9, KJV
I’ve come to learn something about housekeeping over the years. The more dis-
organized I am, the more things get damaged, lost, moldy, rusted and forgotten.
In fact I remember going to the hardware store about five years ago to load up on
baseboards, only to later find out that we had a stash of them under the crawl
space. That alone could have saved us about a hundred dollars.

If I could tally up all of the little things over the years, such as ribbons, buttons,
socks, and pens that I’ve purchased because I “thought” I needed another, or bits
of green cheese I threw out, I’d probably discover a tidy sum of money that
could have been saved for retirement.

It’s really the little things that get us, since the big things are hard to miss. Most
people don’t step over baseboards for five years and replenish their stock, but we
all have those drawers full of twist ties, post it notes, pencil crayons, glue sticks,
lost keys, and paper clips, don’t we?

I thought I was doing well last September when it came time to buying school
supplies. I recycled whatever I could and saved us some money. But somewhere
around the end of October I happened upon a bag on the top shelf of Graham’s
closet that contained most of the items I bought.

I once knew a family who didn’t waste one bite of food—not one. Even if that
food was a package of crackers from a restaurant, the mom would put the
crackers in her purse to take home. And if the crackers got crumbled, she’d use
them for bread crumbs (mind you they rarely ate out). On one occasion I was
standing in her kitchen when her daughter pulled out half of a piece of licorice
that she had been hanging onto for weeks. She was wondering what she might
use it for; tea perhaps? Tossing food in the trash was not an option.

I don’t think I’d take things as far as they do, but I do see the reasoning behind
it. By cherishing the gifts that we have--even in small acts of stewardship, we
reflect a heart of appreciation, respect, and reverence.

Do you love the giver? I thought so. Then let's show Him, by loving His gifts.

The heart of her husband doth safely

trust in her, so that he shall have
no need of spoil.
~ Proverbs 31:11
Chapter Twelve
 Living in Unity

Perfect love is perfect self-forgetfulness.

Hence where there is love in a home,
unselfishness is the law.
Each forgets self and lives for others.
~ J.R. Miller
Together we stood at the altar; me dressed in fine vintage lace with white leather
pumps, and Michael in a handsome new suit. He was the most incredible man
I’d ever met in my life, and still is. Vowing our love one for another those 23
years ago, we were eager to accept the idea that we were no longer two, but one.

But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this
reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and
the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. ~
Mark 10:6-8

While we readily accepted those words, we had little understanding as to what

they would require of us. Hearing words and living them out are very different
when humanity comes into play. We humans tend to be self-centered and
downright selfish at times, making the concept of unity about as easy as bathing
an angry cat—let’s make that ten.

It’s easy to be of one mind when you adore someone so completely that you
can’t imagine living a minute without him. But the real test comes when the
honeymoon is over, responsibilities set in, and petty arguments come up. I pray
that they don’t, but unfortunately couples who are dealing with life issues tend to
get tired, irritable, and short tempered at times.
I once knew a couple who argued about the price of peppers for two days
straight. Other than that, they were an incredibly happy couple, but somehow the
topic of peppers managed to come between them that week.

What is an argument really? The word originates from the root word “arg” (as in
argent) meaning “to shine.” It doesn’t make all that much sense unless we look
at it this way: “One’s desire to shine.”

That’s what an argument is really about: our need to shine, our need to be right,
our need to be heard.
 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or
vain conceit. Rather, in humility value
others above yourselves.
~ Philippians 2:3
Humility, tenderness, grace… that was God’s plan and intention for marriage
when in Genesis 2:18, the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him.”

But when sin entered the world, so did selfish ambition and pride. There was no
longer a passion to serve one another, but a knee jerk reaction to protecting one’s
self.

God asked, “Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat
from?”

And Adam replied, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit
from the tree, and I ate it.”

Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:11b-13)
God asked them direct questions, but with each answer they shifted the blame
away from themselves to another. In other words they both had a desire to shine.

How do we heal this? How do we move from a place contention to that place of
unity where God desires our marriage to be?

We find the answers in Philippians 2:3-4:

 Give up any selfish ambition or conceit, including your need to be right.

Humbly value him higher than yourself. Don’t focus on your own interests, but
be sensitive to his.

Make my joy complete by being like-minded,

having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out
of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above
yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests
of the others.
~ Philippians 2:2-4
5 Ways to Handle Conflict in Your Marriage
1. Pray, asking God to take your burden. I say this often, because it’s so
important that we believe it. We can’t change a person, but God can. Our
job is to walk according to God’s will in every situation, and He will do the
heart work.

2. Stop looking over the fence, because green grass is temporal. As long as
we’re looking at other couples around us, we’re always going to find what
appears to be more fortunate couples than us.

In fact your best friend might have an incredibly handsome husband that
does the dishes every night AFTER he runs her bath. (Ha!) But the truth is
that even husbands are temporal. Unfortunately that relationship could be
gone in a moment and all that is left would be dust in the wind. Life
happens to all of us including death, poverty, sickness and loss, which is
why it’s important that we invest our hearts in the eternal joy that comes to
those who seek God.

Our husbands are an extension of our relationship with God, not the root.
3. Look past his faults and focus on love. The characteristics of love are
patience, kindness, having no envy, goodness, faith, meekness and
temperance (self-control), which means that it takes a lot of doing on our
part to love difficult people. But you know what? In doing so, you grow in
virtue while at the same time you bring glory to God.

The other day I had to drop my son off at my husband’s work to help out.
The problem was that I was on my way to an appointment clear across the
city and had to make a major detour in rush hour traffic. I knew that going
to both places would mean that I had to drive about 3 hours—not thrilled.
Meanwhile my son wasn’t too excited about going to help Dad at work
when he could be at home chillaxing in front of the TV.

This gave us both an opportunity to love. If love was supposed to be easy, it

wouldn’t need to be described as “patient.”

The characteristics of love grow when they are exercised on a regular basis.

4. Be understanding of his faults. People are human, and therefore we are

flawed and yes sometimes we’re downright annoying. But consider
this, Jesus didn't die for us because we were charming did He? He died for
us because He was obedient to the will of the Father. People don’t always
deserve our love, but we give love in every circumstance because our
ultimate purpose is serving the Lord.

We all have differing faults because we all process the world in a different
way. We process our emotions in a different way too. So while some
husbands might pay attention to their wives, other husbands might tune out
the world and tune into the television.

Does that make him a bad person? Not necessarily. It could be a number of
different things from immaturity to an inability to handle stress. We don’t
always know why people do the things that they do, because we’ve never
walked in their shoes.

By working to improve our own faults we offer an example that they can
learn by. Hopefully that example reflects both the love and life of Christ.
 5. Keep the lines of communication open. A lot of women will say that
their husbands don’t talk enough, but yet he was plenty talkative while they
were dating. What gives?

A nagging wife will often use methods of shame, blame, criticism and guilt
to get her way, and as a result men build walls of protection around them.
We don’t mean to do it, but when feelings get hurt or when we feel
neglected we tend to act out. Unfortunately nagging can become a habit for
some. After a while, the methods of communication that once worked stop
working, and the couple is left void.

If you want your husband to trust you with his heart as he once did, it’s
important to practice self-control, hold your tongue, and replace criticism
with kindness. Listen when he talks and make an effort to show him
respect.
All five of these steps seem as though they are intertwined, because they
are. Each one of them call us to love as God would have us to love.

Out of curiosity, I looked up the word “love” at dictionary.com. I wanted to see

how the world defines love compared to the way that God defines it. For the
most part, the results I found were little more than passion, desire, and sexual
attraction. That kind of love doesn't hold up when we're dealing with the real
issues in life like poverty, cancer, Parkinsons, and Alzheimers, but unfortunately
that's the extent of many relationships in our society today. And that's why so
many relationships fail.

Love—the way that God intended it to be—calls us to embrace the same attitude
as Christ; an attitude of humility, self-sacrifice, patience, and kindness. That's
how we live out the truest form of the word. And that’s how we turn a life
sentence into a life worth living.

Building on Love
Many experts in the field of marriage say that the leading cause of marital
breakdown is that of unrealistic expectations. Whether it is a Christian marriage
or an unbelieving couple, we see this happening every day.

With that I'm reminded of a key principle that I learned when I was doing
website design a few years back. It goes like this: the first question that a reader
considers when they land on your site is, "What's in it for me?" If you can't
supply the answer to them in 20 seconds or less, you will likely lose that reader
to another website.

We're selfish beings born into sin, struggling against the flesh every day of our
lives, and a big part of our struggle includes a strong desire for self-
fulfillment. In other words we're born selfish.

Just look at any two-year-old and you'll see a child that is in the process of
learning what sharing is all about. We come out of the womb screaming and
asking ourselves, "What's in it for me?"

That's the same question that many of us take into marriage as we're seeking
fulfillment, but soon after we say our "I do's" we realize that the day to day
responsibilities and sacrifices required of us aren't what we expected.

Some of those unexpected surprises might include things like:

• Children are expensive

• Living costs are high
• You are arguing about petty things
• Your spouse has an irritating habit you never quite noticed before
• He doesn't understand you
• He doesn't pay enough attention to you
• You like different programs on TV and he holds the remote like his life is
depending
on it
• He's a slob
• Babies cry all night long and stay up all day
 • There is more laundry than you ever dreamed possible
• Planning meals and cooking is time consuming
• You can't find enough time for yourself
• You don't get to spend every holiday with your parents like you used to
• His family is difficult
• Your mother-in-law is too involved

Realities like these have a way of wearing the shine off of a once gleaming
romance, but don't let them get in the way of your love for a second! In fact
here's what I suggest that you do: consider it joy.

If you haven't already, you can start by giving up on the question, "What's in it
for me?" and replace the question with, "What can I offer?" Every time that you
work through any of these obstacles with patience, humility, and kindness you
are building and strengthening your bond of love.

Think of these stressors as weights that are shaping your "marriage muscles."
Just like any healthy muscle, your marriage needs strength training. Let's face it
ladies, we all know that a muscle will not be strengthened unless it carries a
weight or something bears upon it. Be willing to carry that weight and see how it
promotes growth in the long run.

How many women have hit the gym with the mantra, "No pain, no gain!" and
then walked away from a marriage because it wasn't all that she hoped it would
be? Far too many, unfortunately.

On the other hand, those who stay the course and finish the race to the end,
realize how beautiful love can be when two people work to strengthen and shape
it.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of
many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces
perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature
and complete, not lacking anything. ~ James 1:2-4, NIV

If you want to build a strong Christian marriage, start your fitness routine today!
Chapter Thirteen
 The Treasure of Your Heart

I recently got to thinking about authentic compassion. This idea of genuine love
has been on my heart, as I’ve been guarding my mind against negative thoughts
and training my tongue to offer positive praise.

I got to thinking about those things that I do in private, whether good or bad and
began to realize that as much as we might try to fool people, we are far more
transparent than we’d like to think.

Ever meet a person that you referred to as “genuine?” Chances are, they
probably were.
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which
is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth
that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. ~
Luke 6:45, KJV
We see here that speech reflects the treasure of the heart, but I also believe
that our mannerism, our smile and our eyes speak volumes that echo the message
we store deep within.

Quietly Planting Seeds

There’s something about privacy that brings out the worst in us. Most of us
would be more than happy to lend a neighbour a helping hand, but few will be as
generous with their time and compassion when no one is there to give praise.

There’s a reason it’s important for us to live righteously in private. First and
foremost being that God sees everything and all things will be revealed in His
time. But the second reason is that during those times of quiet decision, we are
planting seeds that will grow in our heart.
You can’t plant crab grass and expect daisies to bloom. The seeds that you plant
and allow to take root in your heart will determine the splendour of the harvest
you yield.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things
are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and
if there be any praise, think on these things. ~ Philippians 4:8, KJV
Last winter my parents woke up to find that their walk was shovelled for them,
and they knew that one of the neighbours must have done it while they were
sleeping.

It’s interesting to note that they were able to pinpoint who the Good Samaritan
likely was. It wasn’t because he left a calling card on their door saying “Hey,
look at me!! I just shovelled your walk, and you’re welcome!” They knew who it
was because of the genuine kindness they sensed in this man.

That’s the message God is sending to us in Matthew 6, when Jesus says, to let
our giving be in secret. Understanding the importance of the treasure within, He
encourages us to love well.
But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your
right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father,
who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. ~ Matthew 6:3-4, KJV

Let Your Intentions Be Good

The development of patience, sincerity, and kindness requires us to be conscious
of the actions we choose. Whether in word or in conduct we have the potential to
affect others around us and leave an imprint on their life.

Stop for a moment to consider what they see. Do you smile often enough? Do
you respond to your children’s desire to be heard and be seen with all eyes on
them? Are you willing to forgive others when you have been wronged, or do you
react in anger?

I came across this quote by Grenville Kleiser. It exemplifies the change I desire
to be; the woman who stands beyond the window of each human eye, and
reflects the love of God in all that she does--a servant ready and prepared for His
work.
Let your intentions be good - embodied in good thoughts,
cheerful words, and unselfish deeds -
and the world will be to you a
bright and happy place in which
to work and play and serve.
~ Grenville Kleiser
How much greater is our gift when those intentions are backed by a desire to
serve an almighty God? When our purpose is grounded in Him?
Max Lucado once wrote, “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a
man has to seek Him just to find her.” And I believe that when a woman is truly
abandoned to God, a husband, enthralled by her heart, is stirred to embrace
Him.
Karen and Brian
Let me tell you about Karen. I met her several years ago when we attended the
same
“Ladies Morning Out” group. She was a blessed soul who has now gone on to
live in the arms of Jesus, or as Karen would say, “In the arms of my Jesus!”

Karen’s husband Brian wasn’t a Christian, and so each and every Tuesday
morning we prayed for his salvation.

What I liked most about Karen is that she was living a life that reflected her love
for Jesus. In other words, she did more walking than she did talking when it
came to the things of the Lord. Her deepest desire was to see her husband
experience salvation and the kind of joy that only comes through living a life
abandoned to God. But she wasn’t about to push him.

While Karen made Brian’s lunches, she inscribed, bits of scripture into the
mayonnaise. She prayed over this pillow while he was out, and most importantly
she laid her burden at the feet of Jesus so that her husband might be won over by
her behavior rather than a string of empty words.

Within a year, Brian was ushering at the church. He didn’t just offer lip service
to the Lord; by his wife’s example he surrendered all that he was at the foot of
the cross, and was never the same after that.

They’ve both passed on from this life—each within months of the other; both
sooner than their age would dictate. Looking back at how quickly that all came
and went, one has to wonder where Brian might be today had it not been for the
quiet spirit of one woman faithful to God. One also has to wonder the impact
that our lives can have when, with a quiet spirit, we walk the walk more than we
talk.

The bottom line is that we’ll never have the power to affect another person until
our words become flesh. Until we’re living in complete submission to the Lord
so that the treasure of our heart becomes a compelling force that not only reflects
what we believe, but also stirs people to embrace the God that we serve!
Here’s a letter I got from a reader…
Dear Darlene,

I just read two of your articles this morning and I felt that the Lord was using
both of them to minister to me personally. One of the things that you said that
really drew my attention was...

"We see here that speech reflects the treasure of the heart, but I also believe that
our mannerism, our smile and our eyes speak volumes that echo the message we
store deep within."

"Our smile"... I don't have one anymore.

Two years ago... on our youngest daughter's wedding day, no less... I lost the
second of two teeth in the front of my mouth. We don't have the money to fix
them (I need to get two pulled and a flipper made--that's the plan anyway), but
ever since that day, I've clamped my mouth shut and am embarrassed and
ashamed to open it--and I DON'T smile anymore. Because of this I am ashamed
and embarrassed to even talk to people in person.

I'm sorry, I know that there's really no answer to this, but this is one of those
issues that I haven't talked to anyone about other than my husband. And he just
says not to worry about it... that I'm "beautiful" the way I am and that God will
provide when the time is right, which is true--I know He will.
But, Darlene, it's been TWO years now! HOW can I overcome the shame and
embarrassment of this without having the problem fixed? And is it prideful of
me to be like this?

I'm such a mess. Forgive me. I don't mean to be so negative and needy. I try so
hard to overcome and I just don't seem to make much progress at times. Forgive
me if I've done anything wrong by bringing this to you. I love you and I value
your opinion.
Sincerely,

Wanting to Smile Again

Dear Wanting to Smile,

I think we can all relate to you because the truth is that we’re all “flawed” in
some way or another (if we can even call it a flaw). In fact one major
imperfection I have is a partly paralyzed arm that’s been this way since birth.

Practically speaking, here’s what I suggest: Practice. Force yourself to do it until

it feels natural to you. I’m uncomfortable with my arm, and every year I feel a
twinge of embarrassment when the hot weather rolls out. I know that I’ll be
wearing short sleeves and going to the beach and I can’t imagine having my arm
laid bare. But I force myself to wear t-shirts and after a while I forget that I was
ever worried about it at all.

Here’s the thing--when you’re smiling, people aren’t looking at your teeth. They
aren’t even looking at your mouth. They are absorbing the energy that you are
sending through your smile. This energy is what I’m talking about when I say
“live an authentic life.”

If a person doesn’t receive the warmth of your smile, the problem isn’t with you,
it’s with them. So really the issue isn’t yours to deal with—it’s theirs.

Consider this--what do you see when a baby smiles--happiness, beauty, and joy?
Or do you focus on the fact that they are short, bald, chubby and toothless? We
all see the authentic treasure of their precious little heart, because beauty comes
from within.
That's why your husband can say "You're beautiful." Because he sees your
beauty, and don't kid yourself--others are seeing it too!

A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the
spirit is broken. ~ Proverbs 15:13, KJV

I’m reminded of my friend, Mandy Young. She’s a one legged girl, and she
dances—yes dances--and she wouldn’t have it any other way. While there are
people who complain they can’t “Zumba” Mandy says, “You’re not going to let
a one legged girl show you up, are you?”
Her zest for life is incomparable:
I must get asked 5 times a day, “What happened to your leg?” And I get to
share the amazing journey that I have been on and share my love for the
Lord with everyone that asks! If I hid behind "normal" I would never get to
do that.
I am so happy for the way He has made me and I kinda hope I'm still one
legged in Heaven too. ~ Mandy Young
Not smiling because you are missing some teeth, would be like Mandy not
dancing because she's missing a leg. Not only would Mandy miss out on a
blessing, the people around her would miss out on one too.
Don't wait for a cosmetic smile to define you. Embrace what you have today, and
use it for the glory of God.
You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene
In this chapter we’ve talked about the importance of inner beauty, now let’s
move on to the next chapter where we look at several ways to enhance inner
beauty without swallowing makeup!
Chapter Fourteen
 Enhance Your Inner Beauty

Life is funny, isn't it? We can be busier than a bee in a flower shop, but ask us to
step outside and we can't do it without at least pausing for one final glance in the
mirror. In fact I have a beautiful over-sized mirror, with a walnut frame, hanging
right beside the front door for this very reason.

In this chapter, I want to take this idea of studying ourselves in the mirror, turn it
inside out so that we're looking at things from the best perspective, and make
this ritual an important part of our everyday lives.

What do I mean when I say "turn it inside out?" I'm talking about evaluating
ourselves from the inside to see how we present ourselves as a wife and mother.

Most people present themselves beautifully to the outside world, but turn that
person inside out and you begin to see what they're like behind closed doors.
Speaking for myself I see plenty of room for improvement!
Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do
you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you--unless, of course, you fail the
test? ~ 2 Corinthians 13:5, NIV
Where do we start? The best source for improvement isn't found on Oprah or the
Dr. Phil show, it's found within the pages of the Bible where God's will for
mankind is clearly laid out in print. Sure it's easy to flip through channels hoping
to glean motivation from a smooth talker in designer shoes, but God's
incomparable wisdom exceeds "The View" of mankind any day of the week.

And yes--His wisdom is so much greater than anything I could ever offer you,
which is why I encourage you to read the Bible so that you are open to His Spirit
and the message it breathes.
Be the Rachel He Loves
In this chapter we’re going to touch on four women in scripture. Let’s start in
Genesis chapter 29, where we’re introduced to Rachel, daughter of Laban, and
the desire of Isaac’s heart.
Jacob loved Rachel so much that he was willing to work for seven years in order
to gain her hand in marriage.

That story got me thinking. Am I that costly to my husband? If given the choice
today, would Michael work seven years to win my love? What about your
husband? He may have been more than willing to do that on the day you said “I
do,” but are you still the radiant bride he adores?
I’m not talking about having a 23 inch waist, or the long flowing hair you once
had—those things all pass away in time. I’m talking about the virtue you reflect,
the qualities you own, and the value you hold in his sight. Are you worth seven
years?

Reading a little further, we see that after Jacob put in seven years on the job,
Rachel’s father, Laban handed over her sister Leah to be his bride--not “Rachel”
as promised in their original agreement. Reading through this story again I was
reminded of my own marriage, and the woman that I’ve become.

Look at your relationship where it stands today and ask yourself, “Am I still the
Rachel that captured his heart?” After two, three, seven or ten years, are you still
the radiant bride that he vowed to honor and cherish that day? Or once the veil
was lifted, were you somebody else?

This beautiful love story goes on to tell us how Jacob served yet another seven
years for the woman he loved. I see that characteristic of Jacob in my husband,
and I observe yet another love story. A man who has cherished me and worked
for our family for twenty-three years, and a man who is willing to work 23 more.
I'm humbled and grateful for a husband who accepts this work in progress and
believes in our love enough to press on.

But what do I bring to the table? That’s the question that rests on my heart. Am I
being the help meet he deserves, and am I putting in the effort it takes to make a
good marriage work?
Mature in Your Experience with Jesus
I hope to be the Rachel he loves, and I also hope to be a woman that offers my
children the best that I have to give. By enhancing my inner beauty I can be.
It almost sounds odd to think that inner beauty takes work, but it does. It’s more
than just having a great personality. It’s a process of building virtue upon virtue
that requires patience and discipline on our part.
So don't lose a minute in building on what you've been given,
complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual
understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm
friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing
the others. ~ 2 Peter 1:5-7, The Message
Those are the characteristics that I want to see when I look in the mirror, and I
venture to guess that they are the same characteristics my family desires to see in
me.
In order to start enhancing inner beauty, let’s turn our eyes to the scriptures
where Peter lays out seven virtues that shape our character, while allowing God
to work in our life.
But first of all, what are virtues, and how do they differ from values? The basic
difference is that values are the things that we deem as important in life, while
virtues are conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles
(dictionary.com). In other words, virtues directly affect the way we behave.
These seven virtues in 2 Peter, chapter 1 are:
1. Good Character
2. Spiritual Understanding
3. Alert Discipline
4. Passionate Patience
5. Reverent Wonder
6. Warm Friendliness
7. Generous Love
By looking to a biblical example of Ruth we see one of the only two women
referred to as “virtuous” in scripture. The other is found in Proverbs 31. Using
their example, we can work toward developing a wholesome character with a
keen desire to grow.
Virtue teaches us that beauty isn’t found on a cosmetic counter or a fashion
runway, but rather in the strength of one’s integrity and gracious character.
Let’s take a closer look at each one:
Spiritual Understanding
The virtue of spiritual understanding must go hand in hand with acceptance of
truth. It’s found in those who love God, hear His word, and also live accordingly,
whether it lines up with popular opinion or goes against the grain of society.

Alert Discipline
Reflecting on 1 Corinthians 15:58, we are called to a life of diligence and
purpose. As Paul said, “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast,
unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know
that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.”

A life of contentment and peace is offered to us by the hand of His incomparable

grace, but should we desire to be that willful servant, both conscious living and
practice are required of us.

Passionate Patience
We all carry two bags—each and every one of us—one is packed with virtue, the
other our faults. I'm talking marriage here, when I say that somewhere between
courtship and the seventh year many women have shifted their focus from one
of adoration to fault finder. We start to analyze, dissect, and over analyze the
faults that we find, hoping to reshape our husbands according to our version of
the perfect man. Living in harmony requires patience on both sides as we work
to rebuild our view of one another.

Reverent Wonder
"According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto
life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and
virtue." ~ 2 Peter 1:3, KJV.

In this verse we see that we are not only equipped, but also called to glory AND
virtue. Glory is living a reverent life that declares the glory of God in all that we
do. When people look at our lives, they should have a positive view of the Lord.
That’s what being glory is, as it differs from giving glory to God. But then again
being glory gives glory doesn’t it?

Warm Friendliness
When approaching our husbands we can look to the biblical example of Esther, a
woman who used wisdom and reference when she came to the king with her
burden. In Esther chapter five we see that when she entered the king's court she
didn't burden him with her petition. She showed kindness and respect without
expectation, and in doing so received her husband's respect in return.

While some women look down on this philosophy and view it as archaic, the
wise woman understands what true love entails. True love is giving without
expecting return. It doesn’t keep track of wrong doings. It doesn’t expect
perfection, and allows room for fault. It plants gardens where brick walls have
once stood. True love is painful and pleasant, while perfect in every way. It’s
grace in action.

Generous Love
This virtue calls us to a life of sacrificial love. We teach our children to take the
high road when the going gets tough, to walk away from a fight, and how it’s
more blessed to give than for one to receive. We enforce the golden rule of “love
your neighbor as yourself.” But we can’t accept the reality that loving someone
as much as we love ourselves means that we must be willing to sacrifice our own
desires for their happiness.
May we strive to accept that truth and love the way that God intends us to love!
With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow
under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your
experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can't see what's
right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the
books. ~ 2 Peter 1:8-9, The Message
Chapter Fifteen
 R-E-S-P-E-C-T

We’ve talked about ways to love and honor our husbands, but since I’ve had
several women specifically ask me for ways to show their husbands “respect,”
I’d like to get specific about it in this chapter.

In order to gain an understanding and move forward on the topic, let’s take a
look at the definition of respect. Dictionary.com writes "Esteem for or a sense of
the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something
considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability."

With that said, we see that one can respect a person without necessarily
respecting everything about him. We can respect a person as a whole, or we can
respect ideas and abilities that they have. In other words we can admire things
about them, and we can acknowledge that they are worth something.

That's really what respect is all about--acknowledgement. People want to be

acknowledged for who they are, their accomplishments, and the ideas they hold-
-men, even more-so than women.

Here's an interesting statistic: www.loveandrespect.com: We asked 7,000 people

this question: when you are in a conflict with your spouse or significant other, do
you feel unloved or disrespected? 83% of the men said "disrespected." 72% of
the women said, "unloved."'

That statistic is interesting, but not surprising; countless experts have been
saying it for years. Even the media, feeds off these well-known desires, targeting
their movies and advertisements accordingly. I love being loved, and although
my husband doesn't say it, I can sense the appreciation he has when I show
him respect.
So what are some ways that we can show them respect? Here are a few:
Let him take the lead.
Make your wishes known, but let him, as the head of your house make the final
decisions. Joyfully accept the choices he makes. Grumbling, arguing,
complaining or pouting are not becoming of a woman, and will turn your
husband off.
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome
wife. ~ Proverbs 21:9, NIV
Have a good opinion of him.
Husbands have x-ray vision when it comes to our brains. They know when we
truly value them, and when we’re putting it on. If we’re accustomed to judging
every move they make, it’s time to bridle our tongue, and grab hold of the reins
on our thoughts. Focus on the good, let go of the petty judgment.
Notice him.
As women, there are times when we like to be noticed for the way that we look,
while men usually prefer to be noticed for the things that they do. Start noting
the things that he does, whether big or small, and let him know that you
appreciate the effort he’s made. For example, if you have a disagreement, and he
apologizes to you, make sure that you mention his kindness later.

“Honey, I really appreciate your humble spirit. It meant a lot to me that you
apologized,” goes a lot farther than saying, “I’m sorry too.” Kiss…kiss…kiss…

Don’t get me wrong, the kissing part is great, but also take time to notice his
effort!
Show consideration.
I’ve met a lot of mothers who show little consideration to their husbands when it
comes to disciplining their children. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of naughty
children as a result. When Dad makes a rule like “No eating in the van,” stick to
that rule.

Your actions toward your husband are a living gauge to growing souls. They
watch how we comply, and live accordingly. My husband has said things from
time to time that I haven’t completely agreed with when it came to raising our
children. One instance in particular was when I arrived home from a writing
conference to find out that: “Dad told us we don’t have to do chores anymore!!”
Apparently, he was having such a great time keeping house while I was gone that
he decided to take over for the kids. Monday morning came, Dad was off to
work, and the kids had stopped picking up after themselves.

Times like these call for a private meeting of the parents who work as a team. I
make my request known to my husband, and together we weigh the pros and
cons before going back to the kids with plan B.
Think highly of him.
It can be difficult at times to think highly of a man who’s stretched out on the
couch with a bowl of chips on his chest, a remote in hand and little to no contact
with you--understood. We all have times when we’re frustrated that our man
isn’t quite the prince charming we met years back when we were courting. I
think that in many cases, we've both slipped--husband and wife. Dating had a
way of bringing out the best in us. We dressed up for each other, we paid close
attention to everything that was said, and we encouraged each other constantly
with our words. It's important to realize that while we're getting comfortable we
still need to make an effort to be the charming woman he met.
Flowers, dates, kissing in the back-seat of a car, and wearing designer jeans,
does not a Prince Charming make. But being there through the birth of your
child, working hard to take home a paycheck, bringing his family to church, and
taking care of you when you’re hurling over the throne, are noble features to be
desired in a man. If he has done any or all of those things, he’s worth a second
thought. Start to view your husband with high regard, and you’ll find much to be
thankful for.
Reverence is Our Contribution

Now let’s move on to “reverence,” and see how it differs from that of respect.

I like to say that reverence is the granddaddy of respect. It’s a deep level of
esteem, coupled with the fullness of admiration. Without a word the heart
whispers this message, ‘I am solely devoted to you.’ This is the attitude God
commands us to have toward our husbands.

This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as
himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. ~ Ephesians 5:32-
33, KJV
While husbands are required to love their wives as their own selves, reverence is
our contribution to laying the foundation of a Godly marriage.

When a man looks at his wife, he’s looking for a reflection of himself in her
eyes. A reflection that says, “I’m worth holding onto,” and “I mean something to
her in this world.”

Does He Deserve Your Respect?

Showing reverence isn't always the easiest thing. We're talking about human
beings here, who at times may disappoint and infuriate us. This is where we look
past our duty toward man to see the perfection of Christ who gave up His life on
the cross--unfailing love abounding in grace.

I encourage wives to love and respect their husbands, because in doing so we

become the radiant bride we were fashioned to be. I honor God when I honor my
husband. I’m a crown of great worth when I’m intimately connected with him.
And I radiate love when I live out my purpose, which is that of being his help
meet.

But the question remains--and to many it's a valid question worth consideration--
"Does your husband deserve your respect?"

The obvious answer is, not necessarily. He might be annoying, rude or

obnoxious for all I know. But what I do know for sure is that God definitely
deserves our respect and it’s His will that we bless our husbands through the way
that we live. God desires that we are a helpmeet, and with that desire, He has
equipped each and every woman for the job.

When I wrote “Reshaping It All” with actress Candace Cameron Bure, I went
into it with the initial expectation of being a co-author in every sense of the
word. But when I deeply considered what was best for the book, I knew that it
was necessary for me to step down and let her take the lead. It wasn’t that she
was more important than me, or that I was of less importance in the project, it
simply meant that God designed each of us with different talents, and in order
for our partnership to function at its best, I let Candace take the lead. By being
second in command I’ve discovered a joy in working with her.

In the same way, I happily choose to be second in command when it comes to

my marriage. I love that my husband is my provider, my protector, a godly
example and wise leader.

If I asked you all to kneel down and wash your husband's feet when he got home
from work, many women would be appalled that I am taking a step back from
the progress that modern women have made over the past forty years. Even a
photo of a woman kneeling before a man is unheard of, yet Jesus humbled
himself to the level of a servant as he knelt to wash the disciples' feet. In John
chapter 13, His act of humility teaches us to abandon our passion to lead in
circumstances through which we are called to serve.

Foot washing is more than a beautiful ceremony, custom or rite; it's the life
application of a soul completely surrendered to God.

In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All
of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God
opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Humble yourselves,
therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due
time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. ~ 1 Peter 5:5-
6, NIV

Feeling respect for someone who’s admirable can be a lot easier than showing
respect to someone who’s not. And let’s face it, girls, there are times when we
can all lose sight of the admirable characters our husbands once had.
Chapter Sixteen
 Love and Let Go

Love him through those days when your

patience wears thin; search for his hand
through the sheets on a cold winter’s night;
embrace him with arms that confirm your
passion runs wild; let go when you must
and allow him to fall.
In this chapter I want to address those women whose husbands are weak in the
faith; whose husbands are unsaved; whose husbands aren’t measuring up to their
expected level of standard. And while I do, I’m also speaking to myself, as this
is a lesson we can all glean wisdom from.

The Freedom to Choose

Freedom is something we all crave, because it’s one of God’s essential gifts to
mankind. Adam was created in the image of God and that image came complete
with the right to choose. Had there not been a tree of forbidden fruit in the
garden, God would have eliminated the “choice” to serve or to sin. Adam chose
sin. It’s the same choice that we’re given every day of our lives: sin or serve—
which one will you choose?
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for
yourselves this day
whom you will serve... ~ Joshua 24:15a, NIV
God knew that Adam would sin. He also knew the implications that this sin
would have on the future of mankind and His Son, Jesus Christ, but rather than
prevent Adam’s choice He gave Adam freedom to choose, fail, and fall. Yes,
freedom to sin.

If God grants us freedom to that extent, shouldn’t we offer the same freedom to
others? Choice is something we all get to make; whether it’s the way one treats
our bodies, what we use to feed our minds, the beliefs that fuel our faith, or the
habits that mark our paths.

Pressuring your husband to lose weight, to go to church, turn off the TV, or to be
a better father won’t do an ounce of good in the long run. But choosing a healthy
lifestyle, living out your own walk of faith, sacrificing your time for your
children, and diligently praying for your family are all actions that will.
We all know how it goes--a little pouting can go a long way in getting what we
want, and if that doesn't work then the nagging just might. Put your words aside
for a season, live your life the way you want others to live, walk in paths of
righteousness, and let your actions be his guide.

Have you ever met a friend who loved running, then suddenly found yourself on
a treadmill? Have you ever had a friend whose weigh loss spurred you on to live
well? Have you ever met an awesome homeschooling family that made you
think, ‘Maybe we should reconsider our method of education’… Get the picture?
These are just some examples that illustrate the influential power our actions
possess.

Yes, we should all inspire our husbands to live better lives—and they us—but
controlling behavior is the wrong way to do that. We were created to both think
and act freely—to fall if we choose; denial of that right produces a hostile
response.

I’m reminded of the day I took my father in for cataract surgery. Before the
surgery the nurse put a little paper into each eye and warned, “Don’t open your
eyes for ten minutes, or it could fall out.”

Of course for the next ten minutes all he could think of was that fact that he
wanted to open his eyes. Closing one’s eyes should be a relaxing experience, but
peace wore thin when that choice was removed.

In the same way, you can allow your husband to choose his own actions and to
be his own man, or you can burden him with the weight of your expectation. The
choice is yours—push and shove, or love and let go?

A person may think their own ways are right, but the LORD weighs the heart. To
do what is right and just is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice. Haughty
eyes and a proud heart—the unplowed field of the wicked—produce sin. ~
Proverbs 21:2-4, NIV

The Art of True Acceptance

What is acceptance exactly? Dictionary.com describes it this way: To
accommodate or reconcile oneself to.

By accommodating we make room for his failures, and through reconciliation

we reunite ourselves to him.

Changing ourselves is such a difficult task, changing another is an impossible

one. We “accept” one as he is because self-improvement is his personal
responsibility—not yours. By changing our focus we see where he excels and to
put it bluntly—where we fail.

We all carry two bags—each and every one of us—one is packed with virtue, the
other our faults. Somewhere between courtship and the seventh year of marriage
many women have shifted their focus from adoration to fault finder. We start to
analyze, dissect, and over analyze the faults that we find, hoping to reshape our
husband according to our version of the perfect man.

Too many women bring HGTV into the marriage offering their husbands one
extreme makeover: “He’d be the perfect man if…”

In order to change that way of thinking we need to practice true acceptance and
keep applying it to our marriage. Here are three ways to do that:
1. Receive him with thanksgiving. When we live in a state of gratefulness
the faults seem less important while the good traits start to shine. I recently
witnessed that in my parents when my dad was diagnosed with fifteen brain
tumors. The reality that he was dying drastically changed their appreciation
for one another. There was far more kissing, hand holding and hugging
between them than there had been in over fifty years.

Two days before he passed away two of my sisters and I stood in the
doorway watching him embrace my mom and kiss her like she was the
 young bride he’d met over fifty years before. It was one of those top ten
moments in my life.

2. Recognize his humanity. The most common thread that I’ve seen in the
failure of relationships has been the inability to recognize our human frailty
in each other.

Wives, our husbands are human beings not soap opera stars, rock stars, or
runway models. They are pain and pressure, love and laughter, strength and
weakness dwelling within three layers of skin.

3. Embrace his individuality. If I had things my way, I’d probably have

my husband walking around looking like a victim of “Queer Eye for the
Straight Guy.” I dare to wear fashion and I must admit I’ve suggested some
radical outfits for him. But his taste in clothing is far different from mine.
Our sense of fashion differs, as does our sense of humor and our sense of
purpose.

A husband may do things that don’t measure up to your standard of

appropriate behavior, like leave his dirty socks on the kitchen floor, bore
your company with his drawn-out stories, watch too much sports, brag
about his job, or exaggerate his stories so much that they’re barely true.

Does that embarrass or annoy you? It really shouldn’t. Yes, many

girlfriends would agree that you have a problem, if you should spill out the
details of his baggage over coffee, but the problem won’t go away until you
realize it’s not yours to solve. He is a separate individual who takes in the
world according to each situation he’s dealt, and processes it his way before
letting it out. His quirks are his, and your quirks are yours.
With that said, let me also add that acceptance doesn’t necessarily stand for
approval. There may be things that he does which are against your moral or
spiritual standards. It might even be an issue of not sharing your faith. There is
nothing we can do in these situations other than realize that his actions belong to
him. Live your life by example, and bring your prayers to the Lord. We can’t
change a person, but God definitely can!
 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if
any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words
by the behavior of their wives. ~ 1 Peter 3:1, NIV
Submission Isn’t Permission
Throughout the pages of this book, we've talked about accepting your husband
for who he is, and submitting to him as the principal figure in your home. Before
I close this book however I want to stress an important issue: submission isn’t
permission.
Let me explain. When I suggest that we accept him for who he is, I’m not talking
about tolerating dangerous, abusive or illegal activity. What I’m referring to is
the everyday annoyances that anyone deals with when they are living with
another person and sharing their bathroom and bed.

I know that anytime we use the words “acceptance” “respect” or “submission”

women who aren’t willing to submit to the design of God’s Word rush in to
defend their feminism, and the accusations will fly. I say let it soar.

I was a victim of domestic abuse, and I know what it’s like for a man to come
home and brag to his wife about the people he has mugged on the streets. I’ve
listened to stories of him, wearing a ski mask, chasing down a young couple with
an axe held high in the air, assaulting one woman with a fist to the face, and one
handicapped person with a blow to the head--secrets I kept safe for years. I’ve
been held captive against my will; thrown on to the ground and spit on in public
while people stood by and did nothing. I’m familiar with restraining orders, and
all too familiar with pain.

So I will stand up to anyone who accuses me of supporting domestic abuse, but

first and foremost I’ll stand up for my faith, which states:
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head
of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the
Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to
their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24, NIV
Let’s get past the mindset that submission equals permission and move toward a
deeper understanding of God’s plan for marriage. According to my
understanding of scripture, the chain of command looks like this:
 1. God
2. The Law
3. The Husband
4. The Wife
5. Their Children
Within that chain of command we are given a set of boundaries that must line up
with scripture and the ultimate will of God. When we step out of that plan, we
step out of the chain of command. Because I am in authority over my children, I
do not have the right to abuse them or break the law. I am under submission to
God, the law and to my husband, and therefore my sphere of authority is dictated
by such.

My husband is under submission to God and the law.

Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among
men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who
are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who
do right. ~ 1 Peter 2:13-14, NIV
Those rules dictate his boundaries. If he steps out of those boundaries, he steps
out of my chain of command. I must submit to God first, all else comes
second.
We see an example in Acts chapter five.
Having brought the apostles, they made them appear before the Sanhedrin
to be questioned by the high priest. “We gave you strict orders not to teach
in this name,” he said. “Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching
and are determined to make us guilty of this man’s blood.”

Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than men!”
~ Acts 5:27-79, NIV
So girls, just so we’re clear from the dung throwing of the over-zealous
feminists, let’s be clear in saying that submission does not equal permission.
Illegal activity, including domestic abuse should be reported to authorities, and if
you are in danger, you need to be removed from that situation and seek
protection immediately.
There are places like Focus on the Family who have counsellors who are
equipped to answer your questions and advise you on where you can go to get
help. Call: 1-800-A-FAMILY
 Part 2
Practical Application
Schedule 1
 Toss Out 25 Things

Before we get started on cleaning our home, I’d like to encourage you to begin
with less, or for some of you—much less. There are things that we all have
stuffed behind closed doors, hidden inside our drawers, laying under our beds,
thrown onto our shelves, stacking up in our cupboards, crowding our counters,
expiring in our freezers, hiding on top of our fridges, and squeezed into our jam-
packed closets. In other words, we have an excess of junk.

Cleaning out my daughter’s room, I was reminded of those times when I’ve seen
doctors holding 20 pounds of body fat in their hands while the audience looks on
in disgust. This is the equivalent to ugly fat, the only difference being that it’s
“lifestyle fat.”

Our society gives so much attention to eating lean and shedding body fat, but
little attention is made to living lean and climbing out of the pit of lifestyle
obesity.

A few years back I went to Jamaica with my husband. The trip was a life-
changing experience. I had never witnessed miles upon miles of poverty stricken
homes before, but that week I did. My heart went out to those people when I saw
that they were living in shacks no bigger, and less accommodating than my
garage.

But during my stay there I witnessed something else. These people were dressed
well. I didn’t come across one person whose clothes weren’t clean and well
pressed, nor did I witness a beaten down culture. They were happy and content
people who took much care with the little they had.

All I could think of on the way home was how much I wanted to purge my junk.
Shortly after that, I was inspired by a book called, “Throw out Fifty Things,” by
Gail Blanke. Gail encourages readers to go into every room of their house and
get rid of things that have been hanging around for years. It might be an old
tooth paste lid or the wrong shade of nail polish; it might be a jacket from 1997
or a pair of shoes from last summer. All of these unnecessary items are cluttering
our closets, our drawers, and our life.

So I held an experiment of my own and asked my daughter to toss out 25 things.

Within a few minutes my dining room table was full of stuffed animals, old
shoes and a few broken toys. Less than fifteen minutes of work, and her
bedroom already felt different.

I challenge you to try this today. Start with 25 things. It doesn’t take long to toss
out 25 things, but it does make a world of difference. And if you’re anything like
me you’ll get back to work tossing out 25 more, again and again.

Here are 4 Guidelines

1. Hold onto things if you must for sentimental reasons, but if you’re not
using the item, either throw it away or give it away. A lighter load will bring
a sense of peace to your home.

2. Keep things that you find pretty or useful. If it’s not pretty enough to
display and it has no use to you, why do you hold on to it?

3. If you have to think about it for a while, you probably don’t need the
item.

4. Don’t feel guilty about getting rid of junk. Remember that there are
plenty of charity organizations that can resell used items. Think of it as a
donation.

Eliminating junk is one lesson I try to teach my children. We can clean the house
daily so things appear tidy, but if we keep shoving more junk into our drawers
and our closets, there has to come a time when we say “Enough—it’s time to
lessen the load!” Or better yet, “Stop buying so much.”

Spend about fifteen minutes going through one room. That’s it—one room/25
things. Now times that by the number of rooms you have and you’ll see just how
much of a difference tossing out 25 things can make to one family.

My kids definitely had a lot of garbage the first time we did this, but I noticed
that they were more than ready to part with these items. One of our finds were
two Build-A-Bears that we brought over to their little cousins, and they love
them!

Once the kids started tossing out 25 things it turned into more like 50 for some,
which was their choice, not mine. All I asked my family is simply this: “Toss out
25 things.” That’s good enough for now, we’ll tackle the rest later!
Schedule 2
 Organizing Your Home

Now that you’ve tossed out your junk, let’s start organizing your home.
Regardless of how big or small your house is there is a place for everything if
everything is in its place. That’s what my dad used to say, and you know what?
He was right!

I once had a galley kitchen no larger than 5 x 12, which meant that I either
learned to be organized or I sacrificed standing room.

Our bedroom was large enough for a double bed and one dresser, with a closet
too narrow for an average-sized hanger. The clothes hung at a bit of an angle,
and since I didn’t have all that much dresser space I hung up most of our things.
There wasn’t a single linen closet, pantry, or medicine cabinet in the house, but I
knew I could make it work. Rolling up my sleeves, I got creative seeking ways
to store toilet tissue, towels, and bed sheets.

I grew up in a household where everything had a particular place, and my sisters

and I were taught to keep the established order. Mom and dad raised six girls in a
small house that was always as neat as a pin, because my Grandma—mother of
eighteen children—taught her daughters well.

An organized home eliminates stress and the need for unnecessary spending. We
lost a pair of glasses once that cost us $150.00 to replace, when all the while they
were in the bottom of the kids toy box. If we had less toys—and those toys were
organized—we might have seen the forest for the trees. But then again, how can
you expect a kid without glasses to see trees? *grin*
I’ve learned that the key to getting organized and keeping that state of order is to
replace cluttered chaos with wise solutions. With that in mind, here are 25
organizing tips and creative ideas that I’ve gleaned from my family and friends.
Maybe some of them can help ease your load:

1. Discard or give away unused items. You’ll have less clutter in your
storage spaces. If you haven’t used an item in a year or two, you will likely
not use it again unless it has sentimental value.

2. When it comes to kids—labels are a mom’s best friend. I have labeled

my children’s dresser drawers so they know exactly where to put clean
underwear, and where they can find it. Tops, t-shirts, pants, pajamas—
they’re all labeled.

3. Designate a “kid cupboard” for small children. We had a kid cupboard

for five years in which we stored plastic bowls, cups, and dry cereal within
their reach.

4. Use a sock basket. We have a sock basket in the house where all of the
kids and mom’s socks go. When we want a pair we go to the basket. It
eliminates a lot of hassle on laundry days. And our basket is tucked into a
linen closet in the hallway.

5. Put aside plastic CD cases and store your music in a CD wallet. Either
discard the cases, or pack them in storage, or use them for kid crafts. They
make great frames for kid’s artwork!

6. Remove the handle from old rakes, clean them well (spray paint if you
like) and use them to hang items on the back of a door: mittens and scarves
in a mudroom, ties in a bedroom, large utensils in a kitchen, or tools in a
garage.
7. Ask a local bakery if they have any large plastic pails. Many of them
(especially those that are franchised) get them in with their cookie dough.
I’ve had one for over 20 years, and I think it holds 33 pounds of flour. I
don’t worry about flour bugs, and I keep a scoop in the pail at all times.

8. When you buy furniture, look for items that hold storage. We picked up
an antique hope chest several years ago, that we use as a coffee table. We
keep all of our photo albums in there, and any important newspaper
clippings, or interesting birthday cards are stored in there too. Last year my
husband bought me a set of vintage suitcases that I stack together for an end
table. I store my sentimental items in those.

9. If you find an old dresser, or you plan on discarding one, keep the
shallow drawers. Small drawers like those from an old singer sewing
machine not only look fantastic, but they go far in organizing items like
recipe cards or sewing notions. Other shallow drawers can easily be slid
under a bed. Remember the little galley kitchen I had? When we
remodelled that kitchen I saved the original drawers and slid them under the
bed.

10. Fill your garage walls with rows of hooks so you can hang anything and
everything from bicycles to garden rakes.

11. Keep a small basket in the living room to store remote controls and
electrical cables.

12. Place a wicker basket in your bathroom with rolled up bath towels.
When towels are rolled they store better, and they give you more space.
13. Do you have items in your dresser drawers that you rarely use, but want
to hang on to? Some items might include fancy lingerie, slips, pantyhose,
camisoles or bathing suits. Store these items in a shoe box under the bed or
up in the closet to free up space in your drawers.

14. Keep all computer disks in one CD wallet. Use mailing labels to attach
important information such as passwords and user keys. (Do they even have
user keys anymore?) Mine are all labeled with the original product keys and
all programs are stored in one CD wallet.

15. DVDs take a ton of room on the book shelf. I know they’re cute, but
wouldn’t it be easier to store them all in one wallet? Again use the casings
for crafts.

16. Use baby-food jars to store:

• Pins
• Needles
• Buttons
• Paper clips
• Thumb tacks
• Nails
• Screws
• Rubber bands
• Beads
• Marbles
• Bobbins

Store these baby-food jars neatly by screwing each lid to the underside of a
shelf. Remove the shelf from the wall, flip it upside down, lay the lids in
two rows across and attach the lids to the shelf with small screws. Screw
each baby jar in place and flip the shelf back over. There you have it—
hanging baby jars, perfect for a craft room or work shop. I discovered this
baby-food jar idea inside the shed of my last house. The older gentleman
living there before us used them to store nuts and bolts. I think they’re cute
enough to use indoors!

17. If you have a mud room, get a large cork board to post appointments
and other important reminders where the family can see them.

18. Take digital photos of your children’s artwork, and print off small
replicas to post on the fridge. Magnetic sheeting can be purchased to create
the most adorable fridge magnets. Store the original artwork away for safe
keeping.

19. Find small storage containers for use under the bathroom sink. Plastic
pails may work well for your area as they are taller and narrow. Keep
cleaning products in one, hair appliances in another, and toiletries in the
third. It’s helpful to have all cleaning products in one pail that you can pull
out on bathroom day or easily carry to any room of the house.

20. Use bins to divide the floor space in your mud room or entrance closet.
Mine is big enough that each kid has a bin for their own shoes, boots, hats,
mittens and scarves. Mittens and scarves should be tucked into the sleeve of
their coat, but when I’m in a rush, I throw it into their bin. On the top of my
wish list is “lockers.” I’m hoping to eventually get one for each member of
our family but haven’t afforded them yet.
21. If you don’t have a mud room, store two bins inside your closet. One for
footwear and the other for miscellaneous items like hats, scarves, purses,
and gloves. Clean this bin out whenever you get a chance, so mittens and
scarves stay organized. It’s a temporary solution to calm the chaos of
overfilled closets.

22. If your house doesn’t have a closet in the front entrance, hang hooks on
the wall for the jackets and keep your eyes open for a small bench or trunk
that has storage space.

23. Keep small wicker baskets in areas that act as junk magnets. Have the
family drop their items into the basket so that when it’s time to clean you
can easily carry the basket and put items away.

24. Used coffee tins are great to store markers, Lego or crayons. Have kids
decorate and label them for a sense of ownership.

25. If you and your husband are handy enough, consider building a drawer
into the bottom of a staircase, or the bottom three steps. The space under the
stairs is always too low for use anyway. It’s a handy solution for hiding
shoes if you have steps leading to a foyer.
Schedule 3
 Housekeeping Schedule

Note: This schedule can also be found on my website: www.timewarpwife.com

Good housekeeping starts with a good cleaning schedule. There’s nothing like
walking into a house that smells as good as it looks. When floors are washed,
beds are made and dishes are put away, the family gains a sense of comfort in
knowing that their surroundings are under control.

Being clean and organized saves you both time and money. When all things are
put in proper order you don’t have to spend minutes or hours looking for lost
items. And when supplies are carefully organized, you can easily find them
instead of replenishing stock. That's where a housekeeping schedule comes in
handy. It keeps you on track and helps to ensure that all areas get your attention.

This schedule focuses on house cleaning. It does not cover meal planning, bill
payment or personal hygiene. It is designed to get your house in tip-top shape
each week and keep it looking that way.

Tackle one area of your house/day, and before you know it you’ll have it
sparkling clean from top to bottom!

If you’re starting from scratch, then the first week or two will take up much of
your time, because there may be areas that you haven’t been cleaning on regular
basis. But once you get a good deep cleaning done, up-keep will be a breeze!

Daily Upkeep
My sister Betty always says, when the dishes and laundry are done a woman is
happy, but that happiness dissipates quickly if we don’t make a daily effort to
keep up those areas. Dishes and laundry are constantly in use, and therefore we
must continually be on top of those jobs.

This “Daily Upkeep” section of the schedule covers the cleaning that you’ll need
to tend to each and every day.

Make the Beds

It only takes five minutes to make a bed. Five minutes goes a long way to
making your family appreciate you and showing that you appreciate them. If
your children are old enough, ensure that they make their own beds before
school. Caring for the house is a great habit for all kids to get into.

Laundry

Depending on the size of your family, you may need to schedule anywhere from
one to four loads of laundry/day. Start with two loads each day (Monday-Friday)
and decide if you need to increase that number or not.

While the water is running in the machine, wet a light-coloured rag and wipe
down the washer and dryer if necessary (keep a few on hand in that room).
Throw the rag into the load.

Set a timer so you don’t forget to put the second load in. The timer is also
necessary for clothes that are drying. Whether they are in an electric dryer or
hanging on the line, we want to fold them as soon as possible to prevent
wrinkles. And besides that—fresh laundry smells incredible!

Once they are folded, put everything away. Piles of laundry littering the couch
will take away from the hard work you have done.

About line drying: I had a clothes line in my last house that ran from the back
door to the back lane. I loved using it in the summer time. And each time I hung
clothes, I felt like I stepped back into the '60s! Since moving to this house a few
years back, we haven't put up a clothes line yet. However, I do try to dry sheets
and towels and blankets on my deck railing when the weather is nice. It's not the
best alternative, but it satisfies my craving for the outdoor smell.

Here are just a few reasons that line-drying is good:

We save money on hydro

The sun kills germs and therefore the clothes smell so much better
Dryers are more apt to shrink your clothing
The sun doesn't cause static cling
Hanging clothes is good old-fashioned exercise
While I was in Jamaica I noticed that nearly every house had a clothes line. So
when I mentioned it to our tour guide, she told me that her doctor recommended
line drying for good health. Makes sense since the sun offers vitamins and kills
germs.

If you don't like the crunchy feeling that you get from hanging up towels and
jeans, dry them 3/4 of the time on the line, and finish the load in the dryer.

Vinegar in the wash is also a great way to kill odors, even odors as foul as
cigarette smoke. Don't worry about your clothes coming out smelling like
pickles, the vinegar smell also washes away in the water and gives the clothes a
good cleaning.

Wash Your Dishes

Empty your dishwasher every night, or put your hand-washed dishes away. This
clears space up for the next day’s activities. Keep on top of dishes that don’t fit
into the dishwasher and wash them as soon as each one is emptied. Pots, pans,
plastic bowls and juice jugs can clutter a sink, and a cluttered sink takes the
charm away from any dining experience.

Find a liquid soap with an aroma that’s pleasing. It will make your dishwashing
experience a more pleasurable one and your hands will smell great.

Every time you wash the dishes, also take a moment to sweep the kitchen floor.

10-Minute Tidy

In addition to your daily duties, which I will outline below, set your timer for ten
minutes three times/day and tidy things up. You’ll be surprised at how much you
can achieve in only ten minutes time.
I like to do this after breakfast, lunch and supper.

This step is in addition to laundry, dishes, and shedding your junk, which we’ll
get to next.

Shed Your Junk

Again set your timer, but this time it’s only for 10 minutes/day. Tackle any
cluttered area that you desire and discard junk. Have one box for “giveaways,”
and another for “throwaways.”(See “Toss Out 25 Things” for inspiration and
guidelines.)

While you’re purging, keep this rule in mind: if it isn’t pretty, useful, or
sentimental, get it out of the house. As for clothing, if you haven't worn it in the
past year, you likely won't wear it again. If you're hanging on to clothing "just in
case" you might decide to wear it, chances are you won't. The longer it sits in
your closet the less likely you will ever put it on. Pack it up and give it to
someone who will cherish it as much as you did the day you brought it home.
Besides--how much clothing do we really need?

Lighten your load by giving away items that you don’t necessarily need. Want—
perhaps, but need—no. Having less stuff makes cleaning and organization easier
and there’s far less dusting to do!

Incorporate Routines to Your Schedule

Everyone's schedule is different and therefore one routine does not fit all.
Choose daily routines that work for you and your family. It could be as simple as
listing three cleaning chores for the morning and three more for days end. Don't
overwhelm yourself with enthusiasm or you might tire out. Handle some tasks
today, and others tomorrow--it will all get done in time.

Start a Journal

As I mentioned in chapter three under the section “planning ahead,” it may be

helpful to start a home maintenance journal where you can record your routine,
keep track of this schedule, grocery lists, plan menus and keep track of important
"to-dos."

A three ring binder works well since the pages are removable. Or you could go
the route of a notebook. Target carries the cutest little notebooks, and of course I
have a few on hand. You can't insert pages, but if you're creative you can always
glue a little pocket onto the inside front cover to store coupons and grocery lists.

Brown kraft paper is the perfect weight for book pockets. Cut out a square, fold
the edges under on three sides (about 1/3 inch), apply glue for the three edges
and fasten to the inside cover.

Don't Get Sidetracked

One of the best things I ever purchased was a telephone headset. Mine broke
about a year ago, but I received another one for a gift because my husband
knows how I can’t live without mine. Phone calls can be so disruptive when you
have dishes to wash, and unless you're as talented as my friend Sandra, it's
difficult to be juggling both. A hands-free headset is well worth the money if you
find that telephone calls are tying you down. I roam the house with mine.

The computer is also a huge distraction for housewives today. It used to be that
soap operas distracted women, but at least they were still able to turn up the
volume and move freely through the house to get their cleaning done. Not so
with computers. Facebook, Twitter, and Blogger are all things that draw my
attention away from my home. I need to be cautious that I'm not too sidetracked
when there is house work to be done. Sitting in front of a monitor will not result
in a clean house, ladies!

Daily Schedule
Monday

Clean the bathroom/bathrooms. Wet a cloth and sprinkle soap onto the cloth,
wipe down the bathtub, the sink and the counters. I use a hand scrubber to
remove tough grime. Use one scrubber for the toilet, and a separate one for the
sink, bathtub and floors.

While my sister was working for a professional cleaning company, she picked up
an awesome cleaning tip from them. Instead of using a standard cleaning
product, my sisters are now using powdered laundry detergent to clean their
bathroom sinks and tubs. Keep a small box of it handy under the sink (but away
from the reach of little children) and sprinkle a bit onto a damp cloth. It works
great for removing bathtub scum. Since it's much cheaper than the standard
chemicals I switched over too!

Paper towels are my best friend when it comes to the bathroom. After I wipe and
scrub the areas with the hand brush, I dry them with paper towels that I can
discard. I also like to hang on to worn out socks, or undershirts that I cut into
pieces and use as disposable cloths. One pair of long underwear goes a long
way!

Cleaning your bathtub weekly is important as a ring can build up, making it
difficult to remove.

Give special attention to the floor. The area behind the toilet is a gathering place
for filth, especially if you have little boys. Reach in with a moist hand brush, and
wipe dry with paper towels.
Keep the soap and brush under the sink where you can easily touch up areas
during the week.

Clean the mirrors with window cleaner* until you can hear them laugh—not
hysterically, but they should give a chuckle. Then use the moist paper towels to
wipe down the door handle and light switch.

* See window cleaner recipe at the end of this schedule.

Look up. Is there a fan that needs to be cleaned? Check your shower liner. Is it
time for a wash?

Don't forget to empty the garbage. Next time you're picking up cleaning
supplies, find a box of great smelling fabric softener and throw a sheet into the
bathroom garbage to freshen up the scent. It doesn't have to be a brand-name, it
just has to smell good!

Remember, when guests are sitting on your throne, they have nothing better to
do than observe what kind of a housekeeper you are.

Tuesday

Spend time in the bedrooms on Tuesdays.

Change bedding, and toss sheets in the wash. Note: if you purchase deep sheets,
they won't pop off of the corners as often. If it's nice outside, try hanging your
sheets and blankets outside.

Organize clothes, and dust off your dressers. Take a look in your closet to see
what you can give away. If it doesn’t fit, or you haven’t worn it in over a year,
there is no reason to keep it. Put as much junk away as possible so that all clutter
is eliminated.
Keep DVDs, CDs, and jewellry off of the dressers. Keep one or two books on
each bed stand and put the others away in a book shelf.

Clean the windows and mirrors, and occasionally wash your drapes. Wipe down
window sills, and clean inside the tracking of sliding windows. They say not to
clean your windows on a sunny day, and the reason is that they dry too quickly,
leaving you with a streaky finish.

Empty space makes for a comfortable bedroom so do your best to shed items
when it comes to the most restful place in your home.

Wednesday
Today is kitchen day. The kitchen is the hub of the family, so in addition to the
daily maintenance you do, deep cleaning this room is necessary once a week.

Organize your pantry and discard old food. Repackage items that have torn or
opened boxes, and consider storing them in sealed plastic containers to eliminate
the threat of insects.

Empty and wipe out your refrigerator. Thursday is shopping day and you’ll need
all of the space you can get. If you leave this chore to doing once monthly, you’ll
find it’s far more difficult to get done. Constant maintenance is the key to
keeping a refrigerator clean and functional.

Fill a glass bowl full of water. Place the bowl in the microwave for about three
minutes. This should be long enough to steam the inside of the microwave. Now
wiping it down is a snap! (My sister says she skips the bowl and just puts a wet
cloth in--even easier!)

Wash your counters and disinfect them. Note: vinegar is a great disinfectant, and
since it's edible it’s a friendly alternative to using chemicals on kitchen surfaces.
A little vanilla on vinyl flooring hides pet odors, but beware of possible stains.
You might want to use vinegar on your floors too.

Have a coffee maker to rinse? Powdered automatic dish detergent is the best for
removing coffee stains whether they are in the pot or on your counter. Just a little
bit will do. It also works well to clean a stainless steel sink.

Wipe down your appliances and your cupboards.

Empty your garbage. And before you put the next bag in, throw about five bags
into the bottom of the can. This makes changing the garbage every day an even
easier task.

Organize one or two drawers. Here's the thing--did you realize that most women
have the same odds and ends in their "junk” drawer? Yes, we do! Ask one of
your friends, and you'll see. And if you took a minute to analyze the junk you'd
also see that this junk can be organized into 5-6 categories. Grab a handful of
large Ziploc bags group similar items in each. Do these items sound familiar?

Pens, pencils, erasers, markers, Scotch tapes, masking tape electrical tape,
candles, birthday candles, matches, lighters, string, twine, shoelaces, keys,
padlocks…
It's a lot easier to pull out a bag when you need masking tape then to sift through
a drawer of junk looking for it.

It's also a good idea to designate a shoe box for warranties, instruction booklets,
and important receipts. It only takes five minutes to find a shoe box today, but
you'll save yourself all kinds of time and frustration in the future.

Once per month clean the inside of your stove.

Use the hose of the vacuum to suck up crumbs when you're cleaning the toaster,
and also use the vacuum hose to clean crumbs from the cutlery drawer. (Yes--we
all seem to get crumbs in there!)

Thursday

Thursday is grocery day. Plan your meals for a week and write down the supplies
you will need. Check to ensure that you have an adequate stock of light bulbs,
cleaning supplies, toiletries, and the like.

If you have collected any coupons during the week, put them in your purse.

Call your husband to see if there is anything that he needs from the store before
heading out.

If you have errands to run, this is a good day to do them. Save time and gas
money by grouping trips together, and try to schedule errands for this day as
well.

Friday
Vacuum all carpeted areas and clean all other floors.* Pull the couches away
from the walls and get behind them. Every second week, remove the cushions
and vacuum the inside of the couch.

* Also see carpet cleaning recipe at the end of this schedule.

Grab a dusting rag or a bounce sheet and dust any surfaces that you haven’t
touched yet this week. Clean any windows and mirrors that haven’t been cleaned
yet this week. See any scuff marks on your walls? Try using toothpaste to
remove them.

Several decades ago, my sister Betty decided to jump on her bed with a pencil in
hand. When mom discovered the mess she had made, Betty was sent to her room
with an old toothbrush and toothpaste. It all came off.

Saturday

Spend time with your family on Saturdays working outside. This is a great day
to mow the lawn or shovel the walk, depending on the time of year. In summer,
transfer your plants. In winter hang Christmas lights.

Check your front door. Does the welcome mat need cleaning? Does the wreath
need replacing? Do your front steps need a shovel or sweeping? Consider what
you want done, and use this day to do it.

Grab a garbage bag and clean out your car. Vacuuming and cleaning the interior
should be done 2-3 times/year, but let’s stick with home maintenance here.

Take one day/month to clean out the garage. You may ask your husband to help
you if it’s too large a job to take on yourself. If he agrees, spend the time
cleaning with him.

Sunday

Take time to enjoy this day of rest with the family.

 House Cleaning Recipes
Carpet Cleaner

• 1/2 cup ammonia

• 1/2 gallon of water

Clean your carpet with a rag or soft brush. Absorb moisture with a dry cloth.
Also works on upholstery.

Note: Always test a small area first.

Window Cleaner
• 1/4 cup white vinegar
• 1/2 gallon warm water
• 1/2 teaspoon of liquid dish soap
Since newer glass is thinner, and therefore dries quicker, omit the soap and use
vinegar and water.
Schedule 4
 Deep Clean Your Kitchen
in 5 Days

Any number of the following steps can be done once/week on kitchen day, but if
you are looking to get it all done at once and are willing to put in the extra hours,
you can do them in five consecutive days for an overall deep clean.

Once the kitchen is deep cleaned use your judgment according to your lifestyle
when deciding how often you’ll repeat the steps.

Day One – The Cupboards

1. Empty out your cupboards (one section at a time if you’re low on counter
space) and put all items onto the counter top or kitchen table, just like you
would on moving day.
2. Give each cupboard a good washing out with warm soapy water and a
damp cloth. Wipe dry.
3. Get up on a step ladder--or onto the counter, if you’re careful--and wash
the top of the cupboards.
4. Take a look at your inventory and decide what items really need to be
there, and which ones should go. There are only so many cups a family can
use, but over the years dishes find a way of migrating into our space.
Imagine that your kitchen is brand new and decide if these are the items that
you want hanging around.
5. Take a look at your spices. Are they several years old? We all have a few
spices that we’ve bought for that one-time recipe, but if they’ve been
around over a year most of them won’t do your food any good (with the
exception of vanilla). I tend to hang on to mine longer than I should
because I don’t want to waste money. If you’re not sure, smell it and see if
the scent is weak. Let your judgment guide you.
6. Do you have old fondue pots, punch bowls, or crystal that’s taking up
space? If you rarely use them consider moving them into storage. If you
have enough space, put these rarely used items up high.
7. It’s wise to label the inside of cupboards or drawers if you have little
helpers that put dishes and groceries away. Things as small as measuring
spoons can easily be lost causing you undo frustration in the kitchen.
Day Two – The Drawers
1. Empty the drawers onto the counter.
2. Use the hose of a vacuum to clean dust and crumbs out of the drawers.
3. Wipe out each drawer with warm soapy water, and a damp cloth. Wipe
dry.
4. Put items back in your drawers.
5. Consider items that should be organized elsewhere. Can wooden spoons
stand in a tall cup by the stove? Should scissors be moved to an office
drawer? Would my cutlery fit better if I had a larger cutlery tray? Make
notes on organizers you may need to purchase from the dollar store or Wal-
Mart.
6. Use large Ziploc bags to organize your junk drawer and to divide items
into separate categories
Day Three - Refrigerator and Pantry

The refrigerator and pantry really need to be kept up, as you don’t want food
getting moldy on you or spilt milk to remain unnoticed. An untidy pantry is a
cause of frustration when putting groceries away.
So while you need to upkeep this area more often, you also need to do a more
thorough clean when you can. Once every two weeks is a good rule of thumb,
depending on the size of your family.
1. Fill an ice cream bucket with warm soapy water and take out a cloth.
2. Empty the refrigerator completely.
3. Wipe down shelves and remove any that you can for a good wash in the
sink.
4. Once the interior is clean, you can start putting items back in.
5. Pull the garbage over and dispose of any expired food.
6. Use the warm water and cloth to wipe down condiment bottles, milk
jugs, etc.
7. Once all of the items are returned to the fridge, fill the sink with warm
soapy water, and a second sink for rinsing.
8. Wash all dishes that aren’t being returned to the fridge.
9. Clear any clutter from on top of the fridge and give it a good wiping
down.
10. Consider what types of storage containers you are lacking for proper
storage and make a note to pick them up next time you are shopping.
11. Organize your pantry, keeping similar items together. Decide on a place
for each and label the shelves if you must. Searching through the pantry for
sugar, baking powder, or pasta only wastes time when a cook is busy.
Labels don’t need to be a permanent solution, but they are good for training
the entire family on a system where everything has its place.
12. If your pantry is cupboard style with solid shelving, you’ll want to
remove the items and wipe down each shelf before putting them back in.
13. Discard any expired food.
14. Repackage any items that are making your pantry a mess like loose
crackers or pasta.
15. If you keep things in the exact same place each time, you will be far
more productive in the kitchen.
16. Plastic wraps, baggies, and foil may fit better inside a drawer than they
do on a shelf, if you have room consider moving them.
17. Use small plastic tubs to store items that don’t stack well on a shelf, like
bags of pasta or cereal. Keeping several bags of pasta in one small sized bin
on the shelf keeps things much tidier than loose bags.
18. Once the shelves are organized, sweep and mop the floor (if you have a
walk in pantry).
19. Consider any storage containers that you should be using to keep bugs
away from your food. Also consider any additional storage bins you can
use. Don’t skimp when it comes to storage bins, they are a blessing when it
comes to keeping small items organized.
Day Four – Stove and small appliances
1. Make sure you’re wearing old clothing, and have a pair of rubber
cleaning gloves.
2. Double check to ensure that the oven is turned off and all elements are
cool.
3. Remove any removable parts including the oven door. Removing the
door makes reaching in so much easier.
4. Put knobs in the dishwasher or in a sink of warm soapy water.
5. Cover the area around the stove with old newspapers to protect your
flooring.
6. To clean the stove top, boil a bit of water in a kettle and pour a shallow
puddle onto the surface. Cover the hot water with a rag (in places that have
tough stains) and let it soak in the heat for about five minutes. Wipe clean
and rinse with a clean cloth.
7. Remove the stove-top wells. If they are too difficult to clean with water,
put them inside the oven to be cleaned with oven spray.
8. Apply the oven spray according to the directions found on the can.
9. Once your time is up, wipe the oven clean. And rinse with a clean cloth.
Put the wells in the sink and rinse with warm water.
10. Reassemble the stove.
11. Open the drawer under the stove. Remove all pots and pans.
12. Vacuum the interior of the stove drawer.
13. Wipe out the drawer with warm soapy water.
14. Replace pots and pans.
15. Wipe down the range fan.
16. Fill a glass bowl full of water and add about 1/4 cup of vinegar to it.
Place the bowl in the microwave for about three minutes. This should be
long enough to steam the inside of the microwave. Wipe the interior and
exterior with a damp cloth.
 17. Keep the vacuum hose handy when cleaning the toaster.
18. Empty the crumb drawer into the garbage, and then hold toaster upside
down over the sink giving it a slight shake.
19. Vacuum loose crumbs from the counter top or floor.
20. Use a cloth with warm soapy water to wipe down any other small
appliances, including a water cooler, can opener, blender or coffee maker.
Note: Some ovens get grease and grime between the glass panes that can’t be
wiped clean no matter how hard you try. Last year my husband and I took the
oven door off and placed it on the island. Within about 60 seconds he removed a
few screws, and I was able to easily reach inside to clean the glass. We had gone
about four years with a dirty window until we realized that they are quite simple
to open up. At least ours was!
Day Five – Floors, Counter Tops, Exterior Surfaces
1. Pull out the fridge and sweep behind it.
2. Mop the area with a warm bucket of water and a bit of cleanser (my
favorite is PineSol for the smell!)
3. Repeat steps one and two for the stove.
4. Look at your counter tops and decide which items should be there, and
which items are cluttering your space. Remove unnecessary items.
5. Consider any counter top organizers you may want and add them to your
list.
6. Wash counter tops, using hot water and vinegar. Use a bit of powdered
dishwashing soap on a damp cloth for tough stains. You might also consider
wetting a cloth with very hot water and resting it on a stain until the cloth
cools. This is one of my fastest and favorite ways of removing table top
grime.
7. Most kitchen flooring should be washed with a simple solution of water
and vinegar. If you are adding a product like a pine cleaner, go light on the
solution to extend the life of your vinyl.
8. Use a damp cloth with warm soapy water to wipe down the exterior or
your cupboards and door knobs.
9. Water and vinegar or Windex is great for cleaning the outside of a fridge.
If you have stainless steel appliances, wipe them with long vertical strokes.
10. Wipe down the light switch with a damp cloth. Turn off the kitchen
light, and you’re done!
 A Kitchen Prayer
Thank God for dirty dishes,
They have a tale to tell;
While others may go hungry
We’re eating very well.
With home, health, and happiness,
I shouldn’t want to fuss;
By the stack of evidence,
God’s been very good to us!
~ Anonymous ~
Schedule 5
 Deep Clean Your Bedroom

The sleep of a labouring man is sweet.

~ Ecclesiastes 5:12
Bedrooms tend to accumulate stuff, whether it be clothing, jewelry, magazines,
or leotards most of us have too much of it cluttering our drawers and our table
tops. It shouldn’t be this way. The bedroom should be the most relaxing room in
the house—a place where you can retreat to when you want to stretch out, or
snuggle with your husband on a cool winter’s night. But there’s nothing relaxing
or romantic about a room that’s cluttered and disorganized, is there?

I’m going to offer you 28 steps that will get your bedroom into the shape that it
should be. Depending on the current state of your bedroom, this deep cleaning
schedule could take you anywhere from one afternoon to a few, but in any case,
the final result will be well worth your effort. I promise!

1. Start by taking the sheets, pillow cases and blankets off the bed and
throwing them into the washing machine. Set the timer so that you won’t
forget they are there.
2. Take your curtains down and get them ready to go into the next load.
3. If you have blinds, wipe them down with a damp cloth.
4. Grab a flat sheet out of your linen closet and spread it out over the bed.
This top sheet is going to protect the bed from dust and dirt, and prepare the
bed to be used as a large working surface.
5. Bring a pail of warm soapy water and a rag into the bedroom. Also bring
paper towels, window cleaner, and a vacuum.
6. Go around the room and take everything off of your dressers and end
tables (entertainment unit too if you have one) and put all of the items on
the bed.
7. Use a damp cloth to wash down all surfaces including the window sill,
the bed frame, photo frames, lamps, clocks, door handles, light switches,
and drawer fronts.
8. Decide which items will be returned to their places, which ones will be
discarded and which items you should give away. Your table top surfaces
should be pretty and functional—not cluttered.
9. File away paperwork that is lying around and discard or store magazines.
Keep only a few books out and put the rest away in a book shelf.
10. Put CD’s and DVD’s away in CD wallets or storage units.
11. Dust remaining items with a damp cloth and return them to the table
tops.
12. Has the timer buzzed yet? If so, transfer the bedding to the dryer and
wash the curtains next. Better yet—hang the curtains outside to dry if
possible. Be careful when washing curtains that they are indeed machine
washable. If not, air them outside for a while and consider having them dry
cleaned from time to time.
13. If you have a ceiling fan, wipe it down now, before you vacuum or put
the clean bedding back on.
14. Now that the bed is empty again, take the mattress off. If possible, turn
the box spring on end and vacuum underneath it. This is a good time to
rotate the mattress and get the floor beneath the bed cleaned at the same
time. Doing this step twice a year is a good rule of thumb.
15. Put the bed and mattress back in place, and put the top sheet over the
surface again.
16. Remove every small to medium item off of your floor and place them
on the bed or in the garbage. What about the closet floor? Empty that too.
17. Take dirty laundry down to the laundry room.
18. Survey the items on the bed and decide which ones should be discarded,
given away or put in storage.
19. Vacuum the floor.
20. Take a look at what is left on the bed and put the items away.
21. Empty all dresser drawers and end tables and put the items on the bed.
This will include clothing and junk drawers.
22. Go through your clothing before returning items to the drawer. If you
haven’t worn a piece of clothing in the past 12 months, consider donating it
to charity. Having less means less work in the future.
23. Take rarely used items of clothing such as slips, camisoles, and leotards
and place them into a small box that can be put up in a closet. This will free
up drawer space for necessary items. Or keep an eye out for a vintage
drawer at flea markets. These drawers can easily be slid under the bed to
store extra items.
24. If you are short on drawer space, store off-season items in large rubber
bins.
25. Wipe out the drawers before returning the items, and if necessary
vacuum them with the hose.
26. Once all of the items are put away, gather the four corners of the top
sheet and bring it down to the laundry room.
27. By now your sheets and blankets should be dry. Bring them upstairs and
make your bed.
28. Wash the windows, the mirrors, and any other glass surfaces with
window cleaner and paper towels.
29. Finally hang your curtains up, put your laundry supplies away, and get
ready to snuggle in the most comfy room of your home!
Schedule 6
 Deep Clean Your Bathroom

When I head into the bathroom to clean it, I’m usually expecting to have the job
done within 10-15 minutes. And I do. After all, how long does it take to clean a
room that’s 8’ x 12’? Not long if you’ve been keeping it up week after week.

But if your bathroom has been neglected for some time, you might want to
consider going in for a deep-clean, and getting into those dirty little corners that
you’d rather ignore.

I remember when I came home from the hospital with my youngest child. My
sister Betty came over to do some house cleaning for me, while I recouped from
a c-section. After spending about an hour in the bathroom, she emerged saying,
“I haven’t gotten to that wall vent yet--I’ll do that tomorrow.”

That’s the day I realized that I had never come close to really cleaning my
bathroom. There are so many areas that I tend to neglect on a daily basis, but
having a deep-cleaning schedule that I can pull out every six months or so helps
to ensure that those areas get the attention they need.

In the daily housekeeping schedule, I gave you some tips on cleaning the
bathroom and keeping it up week after week, but in this schedule we're digging a
little deeper. I’m going to empower you with 53 steps that will get your
bathroom in tip-top shape!

Don’t think there could possibly be 53 steps in so small a room? Well roll up
your sleeves and you’ll see:
1. The night or the morning before deep cleaning the bathroom consider
whether you require a new shower liner, and if you can afford it, pick up
new tooth brushes as well. If you can’t afford to buy new, put your
toothbrushes into the dishwasher where they will be well cleaned. For good
oral hygiene it is recommended that we buy new ones at least every three
months. Don’t tell our dentist, but I tend to go longer.
2. When you are ready to get started, gather up any towels lying around and
throw them in a laundry hamper or basket.
3. Pull up your bath mats and either put them in laundry, or shake them
outside.
4. Remove the shower curtain and the lining, and bring all of the laundry to
the washing machine. If you have window curtains in the bathroom, take
them down too.
5. Today you are going to wash towels, the shower curtain, the liner, and the
bath mats. Put a load in and set the timer so you won’t forget it’s there. If
you are using a plastic liner that cannot be put into a washing machine, set
it aside to be hand washed, or replace it with a new one.
6. Bring a laundry basket into the bathroom that can be used to store
shampoo bottles and toiletries while you work.
7. Remove all toiletries from the shower area, the window sill, and the
vanity counter top, and place them in the laundry basket. Ensure that all
surfaces are clear.
8. Place the laundry basket into the hallway while you work.
9. Spray bathroom cleaner on the walls of your shower, or apply cleaner to
a damp cloth. (I’ll refer to it in this article as a “vegetable brush”). Note:
Powdered laundry soap works well as a cleaning agent in the bathroom, and
it’s less expensive than many bathroom cleaners.
10. Put on a pair of soft-soled shoes, and step into the tub.
11. Using a vegetable brush, scrub down the walls of the shower.
12. Using the same brush, scrub the shower head.
13. Use an old toothbrush to clean around the smaller areas that the brush
can’t reach, like around the tap handles and at the shower head joints.
14. If you have mold growing on your tiles, you can mix water with a bit of
bleach (about a tablespoon) in a spray bottle. However—do not mix
cleaning solutions EVER. I once used two different cleaning solutions on a
bathtub, and it turned rust red. The entire bathtub looked like it was rusted
out. I called the company and found a solution, but it was stressful and
annoying to fix. Avoid it.
15. Ensure that you clean all areas like built-in soap dishes or toiletry
shelves.
16. Once the entire shower area has been scrubbed down, it’s time to rinse.
If your shower head is flexible, this will be easy, but if not, use a wet cloth
to rinse all cleaning solution away.
17. Time to step out of the shower, and clean the tub itself. If you haven’t
already opened a window or turned on a fan, do so if possible. I don’t want
you passing out from the fumes.
18. Spray the tub itself with cleaning solution, or apply cleaning powder to
a damp cloth. Use the vegetable brush to scrub away the bathtub ring and
the standing surface. Even if you don’t see the dirt, it’s there, so clean this
area well. Also give attention to the surface top of the tub, scrub away any
rings that shampoo bottles have left behind.
19. Pull any hair that you see in the drain and dispose of it in a bathroom
tissue.
20. Use the toothbrush to polish the drain area.
21. Rinse the bathtub well using a jug of warm water and a damp cloth.
22. Grab a few paper towels and polish the shiny surfaces.
23. Spray the cleaning solution into the toilet and around the interior of the
bowl. Lift the seat and spray the underside as well. Using a toilet brush,
scrub all areas of the toilet including the interior, just under the inside rim,
and the underside of the seat.
24. Flush the toilet and lower the seat. With a wet cloth or paper towels,
wipe down the top of the seat and both sides of the lid. Lower the lid so you
can also get behind there. Rinse your cloth out in the sink, and continue
washing the toilet with a bit of cleaning solution (there may be enough on
your cloth already). Wipe down the exterior of the toilet including the top of
the tank and the base.
25. For hard to reach places such as the base of the toilet, use a long
handled vegetable brush designated for bathroom cleaning. ( I use these
long handled brushes for cleaning everything! ) Scrub the floor surrounding
the toilet with a bit of cleaning solution, or if you are worried about your
linoleum, use a vinegar and water solution. This is where paper towels are a
must for me. After scrubbing that hard to reach base, I wipe the area with
paper towels and discard them. If you can’t afford paper towels, not a
problem--hang on to odd socks that you can use as rags and discard when
you need to!
26. Pull a chair into the room, and wipe down the light fixture and any wall
vents with a damp cloth. While you’re up there, wipe down the top of the
vanity cabinet. That’s an area that’s usually forgotten.
27. Moving onto the sink. Spray the basin and the taps with a cleaning
solution, or again use a damp cloth with powder.
28. Scrub the area with the same vegetable brush you used for the shower.
Use the old toothbrush to get into the small areas around the taps. Use the
vegetable brush to give the counter a quick scrub down. Note: Ensure that
you label the toothbrush with masking tape for safety.
29. Rinse out the sink, and use a wet cloth to wipe down the counter and the
taps.
30. Polish the taps with a paper towel. And if you really want to make them
shine use a bit of window cleaner.
31. Speaking of windows, let’s give the windows and mirrors a good
cleaning, using the window solution and paper towels. I’ve loved hearing
the windows laugh since I was about four-years-old.
32. If your load of laundry is ready, put the second load in.
33. Pull the laundry basket in from the hallway and decide which items will
go back onto your surface areas. If you have empty shampoo bottles, this is
the time to throw them out. Wipe dusty and sticky bottles down if necessary
and put them back in their place.
34. Looking at the bathroom at this point, one might assume the jobs done,
but it’s not. The surface is clean, but we still have the medicine cabinets and
under the sink to get to! Use the empty laundry basket to store items from
your medicine cabinet. Put everything in there.
35. With a damp cloth, wipe down the interior shelves.
36. If you have old prescriptions that need to be discarded, do not flush
them down the toilet or throw them in the garbage. You can return them to a
pharmacist for proper disposal. Some mommies put them into a dirty diaper
and then into the trash can so that they won’t be consumed by garbage
pickers. Cat litter works too. I have to tell you something here, just so
you’ll see how truly human I am. About a year or so ago I ate something
that expired in 1994. It was a bottle of antacid pills that I had hung onto for
far too long (obviously!) Check expiry dates and discard items that need to
go. You’ll feel so much better with less “stuff.”
37. Go through your make up at this time too and decide which cosmetics
and which facial products you should keep. Mascara should be replaced
after three months. It might be time to part with old lipstick, concealer, and
eyeliner, but if you’re not sure whether you’ve had it too long, Google the
shelf life of cosmetics in your spare time.
38. Restock the vanity shelves with necessary items.
39. Consider using a cup on your vanity top to hold makeup brushes. I have
a big red Starbucks mug that I’m using for makeup brushes, lip liners and
eyeliners. It’s like a pencil cup for my bathroom. Also consider picking up a
toothbrush holder if you don’t have one already. Anything you can display
nicely on the counter gives you some extra vanity space. A soap dish is also
handy to keep the bar of soap from sticking to the enamel, but I’ve been
using soft soap at the sink for years now. I buy the refillable containers, and
there have been times when I’ve diluted it with a bit of water because the
kids tend to take more than they need, and it saves us some money!
40. Once all of the items have been returned to the vanity or discarded,
move to the cupboard under the sink. Pull all of the items out, and place
them in the laundry basket.
41. Wipe down the inside of the cabinet well, and wipe it dry.
42. Decide which items you’ll return to the cupboard, and which ones
you’ll discard.
43. As you’re putting the items away, consider ways that you can organize
this spot. This is a great place to use small baskets and plastic pails. Hair
dryers and straightening irons can be placed in a small plastic pail for
storage. Use a small basket to store hand lotion and body products, use a
separate one to store cleaning solutions. Use another one to store your
cosmetics. Use another for hair products. Having small baskets under the
sink are like having a bank of drawers. Plastic organizers can be found at
many dollar stores.
44. Once all of the items have been returned to the cupboard, wipe the
laundry basket out with a damp cloth and head to the laundry room.
45. Fold the towels that you washed and keep your favorite one to hang up
in the bathroom.
46. If you have a plastic shower liner to scrub down, you can place it in a
sink of hot water with a little bleach for about 20 minutes. If you’re not one
to use bleach, then use dish soap and vinegar. I’ve been buying a type of
linen that almost feels like plastic. I throw it right into the washing machine
when it’s soiled. I find that buying a liner that costs a bit more saves me
money and time in the long run.
47. Take the shower curtain and the window curtains into the bathroom and
hang them up.
48. Using a damp cloth, wipe down the outside of the vanity cabinet, the
towel rack and the toilet paper holder. Also wipe down the light switch, the
door handle and the door frame.
49. Get a mop and a pail of hot water and wipe down the floor. If you want
to use a pine cleaner for the smell, only use a bit to preserve the life of your
vinyl.
50. Return to the kitchen sink and scrub that shower curtain. Rinse in a sink
of warm water and squeeze out excess water.
51. Return to the bathroom with a clean towel and bath mats. Put them in
place.
52. Hang up shower liner.
53. Turn out the lights, and you’re done!
 About the Author

Darlene Schacht is an ordinary mom, living an extraordinary

life, because of who she is through Jesus Christ. As help-meet to her husband
Michael, she guides and nurtures their four children, leading them toward a
deeper walk of faith.

Her work has been published in anthologies by Thomas Nelson, Tyndale

Publishing and Adams Media. As well she has co-authored a book with actress
Candace Cameron Bure, the award-winning and New York Times Best-Seller,
Reshaping it All: Motivation for Spiritual and Physical Fitness.

You can find Darlene at:

www.timewarpwife.com www.facebook.com/timewarpwife
www.facebook.com/thegoodwifesguide
www.twitter.com/darleneschacht

If you liked this book, please consider leaving a review at Amazon.