Friday, January 06, 2012

I found these dandy straws at my favorite store and had to buy them because...well...LOOK at em!
Are they not the coolest thing you've seen since the Dukes of Hazzard?
I didn't know if they'd work or not, but they work brilliantly and the kids get almost cross eyed trying to watch the juice when it first comes through; for my entertainment value, alone, they were worth the $2, each.
And Maggie won Best Show-N-Tell for the week, I believe.... 


They were both very serious about the whole project, sucking down the liquid until it was just fumes in the bottom of the glass.


There's Adventure EVERYWHERE!

Especially when you're five and seven years old.
And live a rather sheltered life, in ways.

Today, the barnacles and I went to Miles City for errands and appointments.  The BIGGEST thing about going to town is getting to eat out; it's big conversation during the 80 mile trip, the pros and cons of each eatery being examined, ambiance, whether or not there will be chicken nuggets....

After MUCH discussion, it was decided by both kids that we'd eat Mexican.  They wanted tacos.  They were hoping someone in the joint would have a birthday so they could hear the little band sing, plopping the gaudy sombrero on the honored guest's head.  That really IS the best part of eating at a Mexican restaurant, don't you think?

I hadn't realized that it had probably been a couple years since either of them had been there, and they really didn't remember anything about it.  From the moment we entered the world of kitchsy Mexican decor, mariachi music playing cheerfully in the background, they were entranced.  The brisk little waitress walked us to our booth, but it took us awhile to get there because there were SO many things to look at!  A big picture of a bullfighter, pinatas, sombreros, arches that have the words "Hola, Amigos!"....everything was festive.

We had barely slid into the booth when the boy with tortilla chips, salsa and water showed up.  We didn't even ORDER it yet, Maggie noticed, very impressed that he could obviously read her mind and knew she couldn't wait another minute for some kind of food.  They dug right in, dipping their tortilla chips knee-deep into the salsa.  Then, after glugging a bunch of water to chill the burn, they hit it again, but more gingerly. 

When the waitress reappeared at the table, Maggie looked up and said, "OH-lah!"  It startled the waitress a bit, but she responded in kind and took our orders....went around the corner, counted to 10, then reappeared with their plates.  I'm telling you, it was that quick!  Maggie was CONVINCED they could read her mind. "That was SO FAST, Mom!"

They both sampled a little on their plates, then chose their favorite things: Angus dipped tortilla chips in the refried beans, happily consuming an alarming amount and Maggie ate her taco and rice, after being informed what the delicious dip REALLY was.  I should've let her think they were brown potatos like she first guessed.  They ate, and looked at the place, commenting on every little wonder and bauble, ate more, "OH-lah"ed anyone who walked by, lost napkins and found them in the worst places, ate more...

By the time we left, Maggie's Spanish had improved greatly.  She now knows "gracias", "adios", "amigo/amiga", and another word that I'm not sure about but think it may be "seniorita".  We walked past an Ace Hardware employee on our way to the car: "Adios, amigo!"  He was rendered speechless.  (Obviously doesn't know Spanish, like WE do...)

Immediately after that, we had to go get the car washed.  I do this everytime I go to civilization, but with the kids, it's as exciting as a carnival ride!  Each new sudsy cycle gets squeals and pretend shrieks of fear, followed by giggles and the anticipation of whether or not the NEXT sudsy cycle will be the rainbow one.  You haven't REALLY washed your car if you didn't get the rainbow soap.  Everyone knows that, right?  Sometimes, the car wash is so much fun, I actually consider pulling around again and doing it a second time. (Also, because if you live in Cohagen, your car is a two-washer nearly all the time.)

At the grocery store, they checked out the interesting fruits and vegetables.  Maggie wanted the hairy coconut, but I ended up steering her to the strawberries.  If there had been pomegranates, I'd have relented, but I know I'm the only one who likes coconut and I'm not ready to take one on, all by myself.  Cans have intriguing labels, people must be greeted (OH-lah, amigo!), the color of the milk cap negotiated.  Choosing yogurt takes awhile, because Maggie can't decide between Key Lime or Acacia Blueberry. 

I've never enjoyed my kids so much as I have this year.  I've never had more fun parenting! Heck, I really didn't even know parenting could actually be fun until last summer.  They're interesting, funny, adventurous, smart little people and it turns out, I really like them, as well as love them to pieces.  And I think they're starting to like me, too.  :)

Get Down(ton) With It

True Confession #394: I watch Masterpiece Theatre...for fun!

I know.  That doesn't really seem like much of a shocking revelation, but the fact that I watch anything at ALL besides football and the occasional 10 minutes of the evening news is sort of a big deal.  I didn't realize exactly how "out of it" I was, where popular television is concerned, until I was at Bookclub last month.  The topic turned to what everyone was TiVo-ing, and I found myself with nothing to add. NOTHING.  I didn't know the sitcoms, I didn't know the dramas, I didn't know any of the actors, I didn't know what night anything came on and it certainly never crossed my mind to tape or TiVo anything in the past 10 years.  Maybe longer. 

THEN it occurred to me that I DO watch Masterpiece Theatre, when there isn't football on, and Downton Abbey is nearly to start!  The thrills!



Too bad no one else in my world watches it...
Except Alice.

My friend Alice is into British culture like I'm into French.
I look at pictures of her and smell tea and scones.  She can wear delicate little cardigans, rock the Wellies, carry an umbrella with nonchalance, reads Wilkie Collins, is neat and trim, and I always sort of expect her writing to start out, "I say, miss; it's a fine day for a stroll, is it not? Shall we market together, thusly?"  (I'm teasing her a little, here, but you get the idea.)

Alice is OBSESSED with Downton Abbey.  She follows it like I follow the 49ers, sending me shocking little preview videos, profiles of the actors, reviews of the new series.  And, I'm embarrassed to say, I have been completely sucked in and am waiting, waiting, waiting for the first episode of Season 2! 

Last year, the first season, found me wearing pajamas and a sweatshirt in my living room chair which had been drug over to the computer desk (because I have to watch it with headphones so as not to disturb anyone else who might be trying to watch Survivor Man or Top Shots), with a glass of wine, gasping at the twists and turns of the plot, coaching Mr. Bates and Anna to give in to their OBVIOUS attraction and just go ahead and clasp hands or something tender!  Lady Mary is, at first appearance, cold and manipulative, but really I believe she's under a lot of pressure and misunderstood. (Alice and I disagree on this point, but I hold firm.)  The lady's maid only knows half the story (while I, of course, know the WHOLE story and am trying to convey it, in vain, through the computer screen and hand gestures) and does something unforgiveable to....well, I've said too much already.  And then World War I starts and we're left for 11 months to ponder the fate of dear Matthew, miss the Countess of Grantham with her sharp, dry wit, and agonize over the question of whether Mr. Bates and Anna will succumb to what we all know is life together, happily ever after. *sigh*  It's all so wonderfully, awfully well-done and classy, so addictive....

Downton Abbey, Season 2, is going to begin airing this Sunday on PBS.  You can watch episodes of Season 1 on the computer; they stream it through the Masterpiece website.  If you want to catch up, then join us in our funny little British world every week for about 7 Sundays/Mondays, please don't wait a minute to start!  Alice watches on Sunday evenings, I watch on Mondays (due to football post-season still being on, and let's not forget the Super Bowl where you'll all find out that the 49ers are really and truly THE best team in the NFL...not the GB Packers, as assumed by 98% of the world right now, save 1 delusional Broncos nut who signs his correspondence TOASTBA).  We cluck and fuss and discuss on the Tuesday following.  (I love that Alice has to wait a whole day, sitting on her hands to keep from typing and spilling the beans!)

You see?
It really IS quite the confession!

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Motivation!

Have any of you watched the television show Hoarders?
It's about people who cannot...CANNOT let go of anything.  Their houses are full to the brim with junk, their cars, their garages...everything is full, full, full of junk.  There's usually some sort of traumatic life loss behind this compulsion, something snaps in their brains and they just can't throw anything away.  It's very sad and awful, a lonely existance filled with flotsam but usually no people because there's no room, and they're embarrassed. 

The show's producers basically interview and film the person before, get interviews from loved ones who are doing an intervention with the show's help, hire professional cleaners/organizers and try to unbury the person, getting them psychological help in the process.  So there IS hope!

I don't watch a lot of television...in fact, that's one of my silly goals this year, to watch at least one popular show so I have something to talk about with the rest of the world.  But every once in a while, I stumble upon this show on A&E and watch an hour of it.  Inevitably, after watching the show, I look around and get almost panic-y if I see any clutter.  There's always clutter, with a family; life together just produces it, and it's not always a bad thing.  But it sure spurs me into action, tossing any stray paper, hole-y sock I run across, little McDonalds toys that broke, raggedy old dish cloths.

It's good to get perspective, even if it's extreme. 
What kicks you into action, at your house? Company coming? Saturday ritual cleaning? Losing a cat in the laundry and not finding it for several hours?

Here's a link to the website, where you can watch full-length episodes:
http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/

Word travels...

Alright, everyone:  I know I just hit you with the Les Miserables book post, but I have yet another lit post that I HAVE to put up.  This is not a particularly exciting time of year, the long cold days after Christmas, grinding through January and hanging on by my fingernails to the hope of spring.  I read a lot.  Disappear into books, into worlds with no sagebrush or cows, travel vicariously, store beautiful or striking phrases in my "word bank". 

A couple days ago, FedEx dropped off a box of new books for delighted, hungry readers!


They look pretty imposing in size, but the book Angus is looking at is by Brian Selznick, so easily half of it is illustrations.  Gorgeous, detailed, fascinating illustrations...
The title of the book is Wonderstruck, and I cannot recommend this author and this book enough.
It will make you feel like a reading superhero, too, because you can finish a 650 page book in an hour if you're a fast reader. It will take you another hour, however, to process all the pictures which are intertwined with the written story.  

My fat book is the new Stephen King novel, 11/22/63, a gutsy read because it deals with a man who examines what the U.S. would be like now if JFK had survived.  The word I'm using to describe it is "dense".  I'm not a big Stephen King fan...in fact, I don't think I've ever made it all the way through one of his books, but this one intrigued me after a friend mentioned the premise.  One of my goals this year is to read fiction; specifically, 12 novels, one for each month.  I think perhaps I started too big, with this one.

Maggie is reading a book that has blown me away; The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyworld in a Ship of Her Own Making, by Catherynne M. Valente.  It's not very big, only 247 pages, 22 little chapters, but the writing is stunning.  Stunning.  I read very little fantasy, perhaps because I live in that world every day so it holds no allure.  This little story may change all that.

Here's the blurb on the inside of the dust jacket:

September is a girl who longs for adventure.  When she is invited to Fairyland by a Green Wind and a Leopard, well, of course she accepts. (Mightn't you?) But Fairyland is in turmoil, and it will take one twelve-year-old girl, a book-loving dragon, and a strange and almost human boy named Saturday to vanquish an evil Marquess and restore order.
Wow.

Oddly, I relate very much to September, enough so that sometimes when I'm reading with Maggie, I have to stop so I don't shed tears.  Isn't that silly?  It's a twelve year old character!  Perhaps we all have a twelve year old, hidden in ourselves...
Or maybe it's just me.
That's probably the case.

Here's an excerpt where September is talking with The Green Wind:

"When you solve a jigsaw puzzle," he said, "how do you do it, pumpkin-dear?"

September shuffled her cold foot on the smooth blue stone of the Thoroughfare. "Well...you start with the corners, and then you fill in the edges to make a frame, and then work inward until all the pieces fit."

"And, historically, how many winds are there?"

September thought back to her book of myths, which had been bright orange and therefore one of her favorite possessions.  "Four, I think."

The Green Wind grinned, his green lips curling under a green mustache.  "Quite so: Green, Red, Black, and Gold.  Of course, those are roughly family designations, like Smith or Gupta.  And actually there is also Silver and Blue, but they've made trouble off the coast of Tunisia and have had to go to bed without supper.  So the fact remains: Today, we are the corners."  He gestured at the placid Latitude and Longitude.  "They are the edges.  And you, September" ---he gently pulled a strand of September's hair free of her brooch---"are the middle pieces, all funny shaped and stubborn."

When I read that, it perfectly described how I feel I'm made up...all funny shaped and stubborn. But there's a need for funny shaped, stubborn puzzle pieces.  I have corner friends and edge friends...I've always wanted to be more of an edge person, with a smooth, straight, even side and a bumpy, interesting side. It seems so balanced.  But I'm not, and now it doesn't seem so bad to be a middle piece. 

One more excerpt, because I love the writing:

"When you are born," the golem said softly, "your courage is new and clean.  You are brave enough for anything: crawling off of staircases, saying your first words without fearing that someone will think you are foolish, putting strange things in your mouth.  But as you get older, your courage attracts gunk and crusty things and dirt and fear and knowing how bad things can get and what pain feels like.  By the time you're half-grown, your courage barely moves at all, it's so grunged up with living.  So every once in a while, you have to scrub it up and get the works going or else you'll never be brave again.  Unfortunately, there are not so many facilities in your world that provide the kind of services we do.  So most people go around with grimy machinery, when all it would take is a bit of spit and polish to make them paladins once more, bold knights and true."

And with that, I'll ask the question: what are YOU reading right now?  Anything great?  Or awful?

 

Monday, January 02, 2012

It's only make-believe...

A high school classmate of mine contacted me this fall, after watching my TTU Red Raiders remarks on Facebook, wondering if I wanted to play fantasy football, seeing as how I seemed to sort of like the game and followed teams pretty closely. 

"I don't know....how does it work? I'm not very good with games."

He explained the concept and told me how to sign up.

I figured it could be another long winter and besides, the league he was putting together had old classmates of mine that I hadn't been in contact with for 20 years.  It could be interesting.  What the heck...okay, I'll sign up.

And a monster was born.


For those of you who don't know about fantasy football, it's basically where each "manager" (person who joins the league) drafts players from all over the NFL for different positions.  So you could have a 49ers quarterback, a Cowboys running back, a Broncos wide reciever and so on.  They're real players in the NFL, but you pick them for your pretend team.  There are a couple tricky things, here, though.  If someone else in your group has already picked them, you can't.  You can pick someone else and try to trade for that player, but that's not usually going to happen if they're amazing players. 

The DRAFT is an evil, tense process.  It's a timed deal, a certain amount of time on a specific day in a specific order. I signed up for the league about 4 days before our draft occured, so that means everyone else had been doing research on players all summer but I'd only been reading up on them for a couple days.  You have to know about ALL the darned players for ALL the positions because most of the time you won't get your first, second or even fifth choice....you've got to be ready to pick from what's left, if you're not high on the draft, which I wasn't.  I had lists, highlighted and notated, starred and :(  -ed,  read ESPN like the daily news, asked friends...it was ugly. 

My draft was ugly.  I really did end up with a lot of second-string players, sleepers, a couple young-and-shaky-prospect quarterbacks, 49ers that no one wanted (but now are DYING to have).  I was upset...the whole thing had taken place in 16 minutes, players like Aaron Rodgers flying off the shelf like Tickle-Me-Elmo dolls at a Black Friday sale, and you all know what kind of shopper I am!  And I'm shopping for football players, now! Sheesh...

My team was named Hail Mary, completely appropriate because a Hail Mary pass in football is a long shot, desperate attempt, throw into the wild blue and hope for a miracle sort of thing.  It was the longest of shots, this fraggledy little team. 

I had the 49ers defensive line, because no one wanted them. 
I had quarterback Matthew Stafford, maligned and distrusted because he has spent most of the last 2 years on the bench with injuries.
I was running back heavy, (literally) with Darren Sproles, Michael Bush, Reggie Bush, Kendall Hunter, Ricky Williams...they were all that were left!
I had nothin' for wide recievers, and fought that position to the end.
My tight ends were Vernon Davis, the only superstar at the time on my team, and Antonio Gates, highly recommended but shaky future. 
My kicker was from the Atlanta Falcons and pretty unimpressive on the stats, but again, no one wanted him so I took him in desperation. 

The way the machine works, then, is that your fantasy players get points based on the number of yards made on a play, completed passes, making a touchdown, stopping a play from the other team and so forth.  It's based on their real life performance, so fantasy football owners end up needing three televisions and two computers to watch all their players around the country, if they are that competitive and obsessed. 

Turns out, I AM that competitive and obsessed.
I know.
That comes as a total shock to no one.

Seventeen weeks of weeping, wailing, celebratory dances, standing up and yelling, gasping, stomping, couch-coaching.
Seventeen weeks of roster shifting, nail biting, head banging on the desk in front of the computer, arm pumps, lucky jerseys, sneaking peeks at scores during family/friendly gatherings.
Seventeen weeks of back and forth banter with my classmates who, as it turns out, are as competitive and obsessed as I am.
I lived and died by the projected points.
I dropped a couple players and picked up a couple more unknowns. 
Matthew Stafford made like a superhero, as did my running backs.  The 49ers shocked everyone by blowing out of the Bay and winning game after game.  Injuries to superstars caused my second string players to be put in positions of power and they came through, week after week, bless their hearts.
And Hail Mary made the playoffs, #4 out of 16 teams.

Two weeks of playoffs and we were in the championship game, the league Superbowl! 
That was yesterday and the entire world shut down while I watched with sweaty palms, game after game, stats bouncing all over the place.

Hail Mary WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And handily, 254 points against 157 points!

It was at a cost, though.
My kids walk around flinching, intermittantly hollering "Go Sproles!" and "Who's got it better than us? NOBODY!".  My husband has endured the endless updates and now when I open my mouth, he says (before I utter a word) "Oh, good.  Way-to-go."  My FB friends-if-they-still-claim-me are thinking of either joining a fantasy football league to see what the obsession is all about, or blocking me. 

The fantasy football season is over.
I won. I got a call from the commissioner, congratulating me.
I'd be all empty and let down about the end, except that the 49ers are in real life playoffs for the first time in I can't tell you how long, and I'm wearing my old Joe Montana jersey around, hoping against all hope that THIS will be their year!

I'll keep you posted...
:)

Oh! in an interesting side note:  My friend (who shall remain unnamed here) that talked me into this mess, gently taunted me when his team played mine that I'd better put on my big girl panties for that weekend, because I was going down.  I challenged him to a bet in which the big girl panties would be worn and photographed by the loser, for all the world to see.  I won.  This is my blog and I want the record of that win posted here for all time and eternity.  This is what fantasy football will do to seemingly normal, logical people:

It was a sweet moment. I was hoping for white, but this is pretty good, too...