The sun will come out...

Tomorrow.

I'm feeling dragged down today. And yet it finally stopped raining and there is sunshine already (with forecast of scattered storms.

No pain. No energy. Blahs.

Boredom.

Wait, this was what I was dealing with BH (before hospital) Home on Tues. last week, thus AH (after hospital).

The big thing was of course being in the hospital. For 5 days I didn't have to make any decisions. I could complain if there was a problem, and people would take me seriously and try to find a solution.

Since AH, I've been provided meals (dinners, once a day.) And thus I don't have to do anything but heat something up. Soup, Lasagna, pizza (all gone now), fruit (a bit too much led to some diarrhea...which you didn't need to know.) Today some kind of wrap that sounds exotic.

But the shock of making all my own decisions for myself again...I had no idea that would be so sobering.

I finally took a shower and put on clean clothes, after a couple of days. I really didn't care how I looked or smelled. Sorry about that!

I asked for help from a friend taking me to the doctors office for a check of my systems (some blood tests sent off) I tried reducing my inhaled Albuterol, using just the puffer. I think that just didn't give me enough of that drug...so I'm going back on a nebulizer treatment again. The nurse practitioner was trying to reduce my feeling of shakiness, but I ended up not wanting to even wake up.  There's got to be a fine line there!

Very few buds on the Mountain Laurel outside my apartment.

And I just want to sleep my life away.

Am I depressed? If anyone isn't these days, I'd be surprised.  But I am about as motivated as a leaf on the wind. Wherever I'm tossed is ok with me right now.

I think my heart is first and foremost adjusting to new and different blood flow. Where it was almost nothing, now it's going at full capacity. It may only be an artery on the heart muscle itself, not the main ones that feed either lungs or the circulation of the body...but it seems pretty important.

So I'm looking at YouTube videos describing how the heart works. It's slow going. Los of diagrams.

When it starts to make sense, and I can feel the pumping working as they describe, I'll take a break.