Module 8

MODULE 8:
Emotional Intelligence
Big Question: How can you manage your
emotions?
More Than One Kind of
Intelligence
You may have heard people mention
"IQ" when talking about intellect and how
smart someone is. (For example, "My
brother doesn't need to study as much as I
do because he has a really high IQ.") IQ
stands for "intellectual quotient." It can help
predict how well someone may do
academically. IQ is just one measure of our
abilities, though.
There are many other kinds of
intelligence in addition to intellect. For
example, spatial intelligence is the ability to
think in 3D. Musical intelligence is the ability
to recognize rhythm, cadence, and tone.
Athletic, artistic, and mechanical abilities are
other types of intelligence.
One important type of intelligence is
emotional intelligence.
What Is Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the ability to
understand, use, and manage our emotions.
Emotional intelligence is sometimes
called EQ (or EI) for short. Just as a high IQ
can predict top test scores, a high EQ can
predict success in social and emotional
situations. EQ helps us build strong
relationships, make good decisions, and
deal with difficult situations.
One way to think about EQ is that it's
part of being people-smart. Understanding
and getting along with people helps us be
successful in almost any area of life. In fact,
some studies show that EQ is more
important than IQ when it comes to doing
well in school or being successful at work.
Improving Your EQ
Emotional intelligence is a combination of

several different skills:
Being Aware of Your Emotions
Most people feel many different
emotions throughout the day. Some feelings
(like surprise) last just a few seconds.
Others may stay longer, creating a mood like
happiness or sadness. Being able to notice
and accurately label these everyday feelings
is the most basic of all the EQ skills.
Understanding How Others Feel
and Why
People are naturally designed to try to
understand others. Part of EQ is being able
to imagine how other people might feel in
certain situations. It is also about
understanding why they feel the way they
do. Being able to imagine what emotions a
person is likely to be feeling (even when you
don't actually know) is called empathy.
Managing Emotional Reactions
We all get angry. We all have
disappointments. Often it's important to
express how you feel. But managing your
reaction means knowing when, where, and
how to express yourself. When you
understand your emotions and know how to
manage them, you can use self-control to
hold a reaction if now is not the right time or
place to express it.
Choosing Your Mood
Part of managing emotions is choosing
our moods. Moods are emotional states that
last a bit. We have the power to decide what
mood is right for a situation, and then to get into
that mood. Choosing the right mood can help
someone get motivated, concentrate on a task,
or try again instead of giving up. People with
good EQ know that moods aren't just things
that happen to us. We can control them by
knowing which mood is best for a particular
situation and how to get into that mood.
EQ: Under Construction
Emotional intelligence is something that
develops as we get older. If it didn't, all
adults would act like little kids, expressing
their emotions physically through stomping,
crying, hitting, yelling, and losing control!
Some of the skills that make up emotional
intelligence develop earlier. They may seem
easier: For example, recognizing emotions
seems easy once we know what to pay
attention to. But the EQ skill of managing
emotional reactions and choosing a mood
might seem harder to master. That's because
the part of the brain that's responsible for self-
management continues to mature beyond our
teen years. But practice helps those brain
pathways develop.
We can all work to build even stronger
emotional intelligence skills just by
recognizing what we feel, understanding
how we got there, understanding how others
feel and why, and putting our emotions into
heartfelt words when we need to.
TYPES OF RESPONSES
Passive response: Behaving
passively means not expressing your own
needs and feelings, or expressing them so
weakly that they will not be addressed.
Example
If Geneva behaves passively, by

standing in line and not saying anything, she
will probably feel angry with the girls and
herself. If the ticket office runs out of tickets
before she gets to the head of the line, she
will be furious and might blow up at the girls
after it's too late to change the situation.
Aggressive response: Behaving
aggressively is asking for what you want or
saying how you feel in a threatening,
sarcastic or humiliating way that may offend
the other person(s).
Example
If Geneva calls the girls names or
threatens them, she may feel strong for a
moment, but there is no guarantee she will
get the girls to leave. More importantly, the
girls and their friend may also respond
aggressively, through a verbal or physical
attack on Geneva.
Assertive response: Behaving
assertively means asking for what you want
or saying how you feel in an honest and
respectful way that does not infringe on
another person's rights or put the individual
down.
If Geneva tells the girls they need to go to
the end of the line because other people have
been waiting, she will not put the girls down,
but merely state the facts of the situation. She
can feel proud for standing up for her rights. At
the same time, she will probably be supported
in her statement by other people in the line.
While there is a good chance the girls will feel
embarrassed and move, there is also the
chance that they will ignore Geneva and her
needs will not be met.

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MODULE 8:

Emotional intelligence is a combination of

If Geneva behaves passively, by

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