Challenging Behaviour: Biting and Tantrums

Challenging behaviour
Dealing with tantrums and anger in your child is one of the most challenging aspects of parenting.
Biting and tantrums

Many toddlers go through a biting phase at some stage during their young lives and you'll be hard pressed to find
a parent who hasn't experienced a full blown public tantrum whilst out and about with their child! The truth is this
type of behaviour is perfectly normal in toddlers and is all part of them trying to assert their independence and
learn about their place in the world. Their ability to produce language at this stage is also quite limited which can
be frustrating for toddlers trying to communicate their needs - hence, the result is often a tantrum/biting frenzy!
What can I do about tantrums?

Angry responses and shouting can only serve to make the problem worse as they'll realise the cause and effect
of their behaviour and are more likely to repeat it. It's helpful to be consistent in your discipline techniques and
take a calm approach following tantrums/biting episodes, explaining clearly why their behaviour is unacceptable
and using sanctions (such as time-out/deduction of pocket money) where appropriate.
The following techniques can also help:
Play sharing games with your child and their siblings
Role play good behaviour with puppets or favourite toys
Visit toddler groups to encourage the practice of sharing toys/taking turns
You could also try the following tactics,

from Netmums members
"Ignore or distract. Either way don't worry about the tantrums, as every time you give in, you will receive ten more
tantrums in return. Just be strong, walk away and give them time as long as safe to come out of it."
"I try distracting my little girl when I know a tantrum is about to start. I usually suggest we sit down and read some
books together or do something else she enjoys...sort of cutting off the tantrum before it starts...you get to know
the trigger factors e.g. tiredness,hunger etc."
"My daughter is an expert at real tears the minute she hears the no word, but I find boundaries help. It helps them
feel loved and secure so it is important."
Hair-pulling, hitting and hurting other

children
It can be a shock when we see our children hurt or hit other children, especially when it happens for the first time.
Children tend to play well when they feel happy and well connected and a lash-out could be down to several
reasons - from a lack of understanding about sharing to them feeling upset about something or not getting enough
parental attention.
What can I do about it?
Try to understand the reason for their actions and calmly explain that they can't behave in that way. Time out will
give them an opportunity to reflect on their behaviour and they should always apologise to the child they've
hurt. The following ideas may also help them to understand their actions and will help promote good behaviour:
Role play a toy being hurt by another toy and ask your child how the injured toy might feel and how you
can make it feel better. Ask what you should say to the 'naughty' toy.
Praise good behaviour with stickers, reward charts and smiley faces.
Try 'play listening' - catch her when she's playing on her own and sit beside her and just watch. Try not to
ask questions but comment non-judgmentally on what she is doing ( Oh now you're putting on her blue dress
etc) Research shows that 20 minutes of play, just listening to your child at least 3 times a week can make a
real difference to their behaviour. You are not correcting or telling off or improving, you are just enjoying them
and giving loads of positive attention.
Dangerous behaviour
Children are an inquisitive bunch and won't hesitate to put themselves in danger if something looks
exciting. We've all heard stories of children running into the road, playing hide & seek in shopping centres or
attempting to touch a fire or hot stove, but when it happens to your child, it can be a horribly frightening
experience.
What can I do about it?

First get them out of danger, and say a firm NO! Then explain why whatever they have done is dangerous,
according to their level of understanding. Chances are a firm NO and the look on your face will frighten them
enough to learn not to do this again, but if you have a child who doesn't pick up the danger signs, use safety
equipment such as reins when out, fire guards and stair gates to protect your child and limit the likelihood of an
accident.

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Challenging behaviour

Biting and tantrums

What can I do about tantrums?

You could also try the following tactics,

Hair-pulling, hitting and hurting other

What can I do about it?

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