1 Offer Choices

Positive Discipline Techniques: Offer ChoicesWhen you give your kids choices instead of commands
where they can use a ‘no’ response, you are less likely to end up in the typical power struggle situation.
This tends to avoid no for an answer as well as complete defiance. The choice empowers the kids.

Of course, make sure that you are okay with both choices. Do not give your kids a choice you cannot
abide by, since this will only make you unreliable in their eyes.

The choices don’t have to be too complicated — just asking them how they want to do something can be
quite effective. Instead of commanding “Move it, we’re getting late” a gentle “Do you want to wear your
shoes first or the jacket?” will get them moving with a lot less fuss.

I’ll never forget my experience working in the classroom of a very experienced preschool teacher. One
child refused to cooperate at circle time. He ignored the teacher’s directions, disciplining, and did his
own little thing. One day, a few weeks into the year, the teacher decided to try a “newfangled” idea of
choices. She called over little Mr. Independent and gave him a choice of seats to sit at circle time. He
proudly picked his seat, and cooperated beautifully for the rest of the year. The look of shock on the
teachers face was priceless. “I guess everyone can learn something new,” she muttered.

The nice thing about this most-often recommended positive discipline technique is that you foster
independence, yet still hold the reins. Children love the autonomy, and you’ll love that it works — win-
win!

As the authors Faber and Mazlish explain in How to Talk So Kids

2 Create a YES Environment

Children are born with a healthy curiosity, and they need the freedom to safely explore their
surroundings to discover what their world is all about. It’s important not to inhibit this natural curiosity
by constantly reprimanding your child for touching things around the house.

As kids get older their natural instinct is to express their individuality and push limits. At this stage it
becomes essential that you give them the freedom they seek, but within well-defined limits.
With younger kids, childproofing — ex. placing all dangerous or breakable items out of reach — reduces
stress for both parents and children. Your child won’t have to hear “no” all the time, and you will have
more peace of mind knowing that he’s not getting into things he shouldn’t.

Positive Discipline Techniques: Create a Yes EnvironmentWith older kids, providing clarity in what is and
isn’t acceptable is key. For example – “YES, you can start driving. We’ll have to agree on a driving
agreement first however, and each time you violate it, you lose the driving privilege for a full month” is
much more likely to motivate your teen to drive safely than trying to keep him from driving (in which
case they may be tempted to “borrow” their friends car and drive it without insurance!) or constant
lecturing/haranguing.

If you use the word “no” sparingly, your kids will be more likely to pay attention when you do say it. So,
whenever possible make a conscious effort to use positive wording to stop challenging behavior.

In my own case, my daughter, like most toddlers, would wreck the kitchen as I cooked supper. She would
unpack cabinets, crash pots, and then whine for me to pick her up. First, I locked two cabinets with
breakables and electronics so I don’t have to worry for her safety. I created a special toy cabinet, and got
her a set of toy metal pots, so she wouldn’t dent mine. I also added metal spoons from the 99 cents
store. Additionally, I give her my containers as I’m cooking-cheese, egg and cereal carton or whatever
other recyclable I have goes on the floor. Now, I can actually cook supper calmly!

#3 Teach Emotions

Positive Discipline Techniques: Teach EmotionsIt’s never too early to start teaching your kids to express
their emotions. Not being able to comprehend what’s going on is a very common reason for kids acting
out. As Dr. Dan Siegel, an eminent neuropsychiatrist, and New York Times bestselling author explains in
this wonderful video, they need to be able to name it, so they can tame it!

For younger children, a simple emotions chart can be great. You can even create your own by taking
pictures of your child’s emotion faces.

For older children, teach them words from this feeling vocabulary list to enrich their emotions
vocabulary, so they can appropriately express themselves.
In the book Flip It, Rachel Wagner Sperry states “Feelings are the root of all behavior.” And later on,
“Children must become aware of what they feel, before we ask them to control it.”

I remember reading about a young mom who taught her three year old to communicate his emotions
and was happy to see that it really helped. He told his mom, “When the bus brought me home today,
and nobody waited outside for me, I was very scared.” Isn’t that better than a child stomping in looking
like a storm cloud and none of you know why?

#4 Ignore Bad Behavior

You’ve got to pick and choose you battles. As a high school teacher who deals with teenagers, my
mother says she often pretends not to hear or see certain behaviors. While this is not one of the positive
discipline techniques to use too often, it works amazingly well for minor problems.

Positive Discipline Techniques: Ignore Bad BehaviorWhen my daughter plays with something she’s not
supposed to (such as mommy’s magazines), I’ll sometimes turn a blind eye. If she’s safe and happy, and
I’m not concerned about the object, I’ll move the object out of reach at a later time.

Here’s the thing — we’re not a policeman and acting like one can be draining. So, let’s give ourselves and
our kids a break. Kids will be kids, and honestly, don’t we also need some breathing time? As long as we
use this judiciously, we can create and enjoy a more relaxed atmosphere in our homes.

Sometimes, children seek negative attention. By ignoring the bad behavior, we take away the fun of it
and reduce the incentive to engage in such behavior in the future.

#5 Use Fictional Third-Party Mediators

Positive Discipline Techniques: Use Fictional Third-Party MediatorsWith little kids, use a puppet to model
positive behavior, or mediate fights. A third party can help cool things down and diffuse tension. Pick a
quiet time for a quick puppet show modeling positive behavior. It doesn’t have to be a fancy puppet —
easy homemade spoon puppets , popsicle puppets, or paper plate puppets work just fine.
My friend uses supper time to model positive eating habits through a puppet. Her children love the
creative shows, and as a bonus, they behave through the show and supper!

With older kids, use the news stories or current events as mediators that facilitate difficult conversations.
For instance, talk to your teens about the riots in Ferguson, Missouri. It is a great way to bring up racism,
diversity, rioting and other difficult topics. Discuss it by reviewing a variety of perspectives – from your
family’s point of view and the values you hold dear, from a broader perspective of what this means to a
community, the balance between power and responsibility etc.

No one likes to be lectured all the time. A third-party, especially a fictional character or someone on
media, can get a message across a lot more effectively and with a lot less resistance.

#6 Play Detective

Positive Discipline Techniques: Play DetectiveWhy is your child acting out? Are there times of the day or
specific activities when challenging behavior is most likely to occur? Could other children or adults in
close proximity be a trigger? Are there environmental conditions that may be a factor? (e.g., too warm,
too cold, too crowded, too much noise, too chaotic, weather conditions). Or can any of these
circumstances be a factor: illness, allergies, change in diet, medication change, hunger, parties or crowds,
change in caregiver, fatigue, change in routine?

See if you can find the source of the tantrum before jumping to conclusions. Circumstances can influence
behavior, so when you examine outside issues you can avoid future outbursts.

Another good idea may be recording what time of the day the behavior occurs. You can use the ABC log
(antecedent, behavior, consequence) to see if a pattern emerges.

With older children, you can include them in the process of figuring out what’s bothering them.

My big concern a while back was my toddler’s grating bedtime cry. Then I learnt to take a minute and
think-why is my daughter crying? One time, I returned to her room and smelled a dirty diaper. Another
time, after a full day of refusing most food, she threw up. On a different occasion, I realized she was plain
hungry. I never regret double checking and thinking- What can be causing this behavior?
Behavior serves as a function. If you can figure out what causes the behavior, you can figure out how to
try to stop it.

#7 Be Consistent

Positive Discipline Techniques: Be ConsistentMake sure you are consistent in your discipline. Your child
needs to know what is and isn’t acceptable. And they judge that by what was and wasn’t okay yesterday
and the day before.

If they’re not getting a consistent message, they do not know how to behave. That can leave your child
feeling confused and insecure.

Try to keep to the same schedule every day. That means having regular nap times, mealtimes, and
bedtimes, as well as times when your child is free to have fun.

When you do have to make a change, it helps to warn your child in advance. This can prepare her for a
slightly different routine, and hopefully prevent a scene.

For a major change, such as a move, new sibling or death, a simple homemade book that the child can
reread can be immensely helpful. If you are moving, put a picture of the old house, neighborhood, and
new house. Write down what will occur. This will give the child an understanding of what’s occurring,
and prevent myriad discipline issues.

My friend’s six year old daughter told her mother she would not attend aunt’s wedding. Baffled at her
refusal, she thought about it and realized that her daughter had no clear picture of what the day would
be like. She sat down with her and explained the entire wedding day. Her daughter calmed down and
they happily attended the event.

Children thrive on routine. If they know what’s coming, they are less likely to act out. Hey, you also
behave better if you know why your spouse had a hard day!
#8 Divert and Channel

Diversion is a great tool to use with younger children. Little ones have a short attention span and you can
use this to your advantage. You may be able to distract them from whatever they are fussing about.
Instead of giving in, find something new to do or talk about that might interest your child.

During the witching hour, if my daughter’s behavior starts getting to me, I try taking her to a different
room, or going out for a walk. Some fresh air always seems to help.

For more great ideas, check out the list of 101 Fun Things To Do With Kids To Enjoy Everyday Family Life
— it is chock full of suggestions to avoid the need for nagging and screaming by turning everyday
situations into fun time!

With older kids, you may need to be more strategic about this. If you get constant complaints of your
child being restless and distracting the class from his teacher, enrolling him in a sports team may help
channel some of his energy.

Positive Discipline Techniques: Channel Their EnergyConsider for example the case of Michael Phelps —
his elementary school teacher complained to his mom that he couldn’t focus. By 6th grade he was
diagnosed with ADHD. But by helping him channel that excess energy into swimming, his mom and
coach were able to help him beat the odds and rise to unprecedented heights!

In the end, this is what it boils down to — nobody’s perfect, but we can all try to be better. It doesn’t
matter that we have the perfect response to every situation. By becoming aware of more and more of
these positive discipline techniques however, we can significantly improve our changes of responding
appropriately. At least that’s the hope, right?

Do share what works for you in the comments below… we’re all in this together, remember?

Bilingual Kidspot

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Raising Bilingual Children

BILINGUAL PARENTING
15 Positive Parenting Techniques Every Parent Should Know

Posted on October 31, 2018 1

What is Positive Parenting Tips

Positive Parenting Tips: What is Positive Parenting and why it is important?

What is Positive Parenting and why is it important? Positive parenting is an approach built on mutual
respect. According to author Debbie Godfrey, positive parenting techniques are “for parents who want
to discipline their kids without breaking their spirit.” But, what does this actually mean?

Brittany McCabe is a child development specialist, mom of two young kids, and a former preschool
director. Brittany answers all of your questions about positive parenting including the following:

What is Positive Parenting?

Why is Positive Parenting Important?

What are some Positive Parenting Techniques.

She also shares 15 Positive Parenting tips!

Brittany Lawless McCabe - Positive Parenting

What is Positive Parenting?

Positive parenting is a parenting approach built on mutual respect. Parenting built on mutual respect
means we handle our children as individuals and not as our own property. As human beings with feelings
and the ability to think, process, and make judgments on their own.

Long gone are the days of “because I said so” and “I’m your parent and that’s the way it is.” If we want
our children to listen to our words, thoughts, and feelings, then we need to lead by example.

Why is Positive Parenting Important?

Children learn by modeling. If we model appropriate means of communication and handling conflict,
then they too will learn how to communicate. A child’s brain is wired to naturally think, question, and
explore; it is our responsibility, as the parent, to facilitate this yearning to learn and figure the world out
around them.

The very definition of discipline means to teach.

Positive parenting focuses on teaching your child the who, what, where, when, and why of a situation.

15 Positive Parenting Tips & Techniques

So now that you know the answer to the question “What is positive parenting and why is it important”,
here are 15 positive parenting tips and techniques to help your parenting journey.

POSITIVE PARENTING TIPS - Infographic

PERMISSION TO USE THIS INFOGRAPHIC ONLY WITH LINK BACK TO THIS PAGE

1. Consequences that make sense

Children need consequences. It is important for them to understand consequences to their actions,
whether they be good or bad, positive or negative.

When we say something kind or encouraging to our friends, the consequences are a smile and feeling
happy. When we push our friend, the consequences are, my friend gets mad at me and doesn’t want to
play.

When we make consequences for our children’s actions to help teach them valuable lessons, they need
to make sense.

Positive Parenting Tips:

If a child has not cleaned up when they were supposed to clean up and they were given clear
instructions, warning, and timeframe, then a consequence that makes sense to that situation is having
those toys removed for a while.

If a child hit someone or hurt someone, then an appropriate consequence would be to have that child
help the other child feel better. Holding up an ice pack, getting them a band-aid etc.

If a child threw their meal down on the ground, telling them they can’t go outside because they threw
their food down.

If a child ripped up someone’s artwork and saying they now can’t have dessert.

The reason our consequences should make sense to the incident that occurred is to help teach the child
why we don’t throw our food or rip someone’s artwork. When their consequence follows suit, it helps to
drives the message home.

2. Validate, empathize, sympathize

Make sure your child knows that you have heard them. Validate what they want and how they feel. You
will not be able to successfully get across your point unless they too feel respected.

Positive Parenting Tips:

If your child is crying because they want a popsicle, but dinner is in 15 minutes, first repeat them so they
know you understand them:

Kids under three- “I want a popsicle!” “I hear you! When we eat our dinner, we can have our popsicle.”
Your child will probably still be upset and that is understandable. Let them be. After a few minutes, try to
distract them or have them get involved in something different.
Kids older than three, you could say “I see you really want that popsicle. I understand. We can have the
popsicle just as soon as dinner is done.”

Children who have gained the mental insight to reason can have explanations and not be so heavily
steered by distraction.

3. Talk at the child’s level

Physically, get down to their eye level. When speaking to your child eye to eye at their physical level, this
shows compassion, sincerity, and respect.

Speaking at their eye level will also serve as a great tool in having them hear your words.

4. Explain & Help them learn from their mistakes

When we discipline our children, it’s important to explain why. Children need to learn from their
mistakes. They need to understand the consequences of their actions.

Positive Parenting Tips:

“Sit on the chair because you can fall and get hurt if you stand”

“We use our hands for gentle touches because hitting hurts.”

If we just tell our children not to do something, without the why, we are missing the crucial teachable
aspect of the instruction. If they stood on a chair when they should have been sitting, they fell, they have
hurt themselves from standing.

Talk about it with them. For example, “Ouch! You have hurt yourself! When you stood on the chair, you
fell and got hurt. We need to sit on the chair. When we sit, we won’t fall and get hurt.”
5. Communicate

Talk to your child like an individual. Use age-appropriate language. Do not assume your child is too little
to understand.

Respecting your child is to communicate with them appropriately throughout the day. As an individual
yourself, you enjoy knowing what will happen in your day, so you can plan and predict. You also like
understanding why things occur. It helps us process our world around us.

Children are the same. Be open and communicative with your children throughout the day.

Positive Parenting Tips:

“We are going to the store because we need to buy some tomatoes. You are such a great helper; can you
help me pick them out? “

“When we get to school today, we will only have 5 minutes to play, then I will take you into the
classroom and kiss you goodbye.”

By giving your child the information needed to predict their day, will greatly help eliminate tantrums.

6. Give them warnings

Along with communicating, we need to give our children warnings before the deadline; this will allow
our children the time they need to mentally prepare.

As an individual, you would not like something sprung on you and expected it done right away, you
would like a warning, as do children.
Positive Parenting Tips:

“In 5 minutes we will clean up our blocks and have dinner”

“After you color this page, we will need to get dressed for the day.”

Warnings are very helpful for children who have a difficult time with transitions.

7. Clear expectations of what is wanted

We want to set our children up for success, we want them to know what is expected of them and what
we are looking for in their actions.

Positive Parenting Tips:

“I need you to put your books away,” as opposed to “clean up.”

It is hard for children to read in-between the lines and it is hard for them to decode, we need to make
instructions for them clear and simple. To make sure they clearly understand our instructions, have your
children repeat you, or ask them about what you said, “What do you need to pick up?”

Brittany Lawless McCabe - Positive Parenting

8. Tell them what they should do as opposed to what they shouldn’t

This is a way of phrasing our instructions that take time to get used to. But this type of instruction and
phrasing work better with how the human mind processes information.

Positive Parenting Tips:

Rather than saying “don’t hit your brother,” we should say “we use gentle touches with our brother.”

Rather than saying “don’t throw your food,” we should say “food stays on our plate.”

When the brain hears “don’t throw your food,” the brain processes the “throw food” part before the
“don’t” part.

A great example of this is the credit card machines at the store. Have you ever pulled your card out
before you were supposed to? Yea, me too! That is because the message on the machine says “don’t
remove your card.” Your brain processes “remove card,” before the “don’t.” The machine should say
“keep your card in.”

Telling your child what they should do is clear and simple. Telling them what they should not do can be
confusing for a developing mind.

9. Keep it positive

How we respond and act effects our children. If we are negative, it will rub off and affect their mood. If
we try to maintain positivity, that too will affect how they think, feel, and respond to situations.

Introductions to new things/situations/people/occurrences and changes that happen will impact your
child.

How you respond and handle these introductions and changes will greatly impact the way your child also
responds.

It is important to remain positive and talk positively to our children who are going through new
experiences.
For example, if they are starting school for the first time and you are projecting your fear onto them,
then they will have a harder time adjusting to this new experience in their life.

10. Be consistent and keep your word

Children are smart, and they have good memories! They will learn very easily if you are not consistent
and do not keep your word, and they will learn what they can get away with.

Positive Parenting Tips:

If you tell them “Be quiet with the books. If you are loud, you will not be able to look at books before
bed.” You must follow through with it. Yes, sometimes it feels as though you are punishing yourself, but it
is crucial for them to know your word means something.

When your child realizes you are full of empty threats, then it will be hard for them to listen to you in the
future.

The same is true if you promise something special “If you have a good day at school, we will go to the
park when I pick you up.” Keep your word. They will remember!

11. Be Loving and firm

It’s important to have a loving but firm tone throughout your parenting. A relationship built on mutual
respect. Show them love throughout the day; both physical and verbal.

Positive Parenting Tips:

Give your child lots of hugs, kisses, embraces, rubs etc. expressing specific ways you love them: “I love
coloring with you,” “I love going on walks with you,” “I am so happy when we read together.”
But be firm when disciplining them. Keep your word and follow through. If you tell them there will be a
consequence for not listening, then follow through on the discipline. They will respect you for being
loving, truthful, and trusting.

12. Use humor

Not everything has to be so serious. There have been so many tantrums I was able to nip in the bud
because I joked around with my kid. Humor is important to use while parenting, it teaches your child to
have a sense of humor, builds personality, and helps develop insight.

Parenting is something that you will be doing for a long time, make it fun and enjoyable for you and your
children.

13. Let your child have a right to their feelings (they can scream and cry, explain an appropriate way to
do so)

We don’t want to stifle our children. They should be able to express their thoughts and feelings and they
should have a right to feel sad, mad, disappointed, and so on. However, it is our duty to teach them how
to appropriately express this.

If you are in the store, your child needs to understand other people do not want to hear their screaming,
it hurts people’s ears.

If you are at home, in their safe space, they should be able to express their emotions. But, make sure to
set limits and guidelines.

It is certainly not appropriate for a child to be screaming for an hour because they are mad they didn’t
get a cookie.

Sometimes, if a child is having a bad day, maybe they skipped a nap, and you sat with them for a while
during their tantrum and they are still not letting up, you can say something like, “You are able to feel
upset and you can keep crying if you want, but it’s really hurting my ears now, so I need you to go to your
room.”
Having space for them to go to, where they can look at books or relax their body can be a positive retreat
for them. Sometimes all they need is to be removed from their situation and it helps to calm them down.

14. Age appropriateness under three over three, examples

For children under three, we want to be very short and direct in our message. Cut out the fluff words.
For example, “Biting hurts! Awch!”

For a child over 3, you can use more expressive language, “Our mouth is for biting food. When we bite
our friends, it hurts their body. If you need help, ask your teacher.”

Of course, you can play around with this a bit. Your child will be able to understand many words at 2 and
even more words at 2 and a half. You know what your child will be able to understand.

15. Keep your own feelings and judgments in check

If you have had a rough day and you need to take a minute to yourself. Do it. Find something to occupy
the kids for 10 minutes and breathe.

Relax. You deserve it.

When we feel stressed, our children feel stressed. We will be unable to handle our children calmly if we
really need a break.

I know those days. They happen quite a bit when you are a mommy to young children. But, it is
important to remember, children learn by modeling. When we model appropriate behavior, they learn
appropriate behavior. If we model how to self-regulate, then they learn how to self-regulate.

Positive Parenting Tips:

Communicate with them, say something like “Mommy is feeling a bit stressed right now, I need a few
minutes to calm my body down. I am going to put on some music for you and your brother to dance to,
while I sit on the couch for a minute and calm myself down. This will help me to feel better.”

Positive Parenting and Bilingual Kids

When it comes to positive parenting and children who are learning more than one language, it’s
important to have patience and understanding. Language develops in phases; first to come is receptive
language, that is what you understand, then comes expressive language, that is what is spoken.

When children are learning more than one language, they have more language to process before
expressive language can come. Once your child does start to build vocabulary, it can still be difficult for
them to access words when their emotions take over.

Once children gain better self-regulatory skills and maturity, they will better be able to express words in
the desired language. Just remember to remain calm, positive, and encouraging. It is important to create
an environment that is non-forceful and stress-free.

What is Positive Parenting? Mutual Respect

Positive parenting is all about having a relationship with your child that is based on mutual respect. If
you treat your child with respect in terms of hearing them, validating them, communicating with them,
inviting them to question, challenge, and think for themselves, then they too will respect you.

If we show our children how to effectively build and strengthen relationships based on the ones we have
with them, then they too will learn these invaluable skills.

Looking for more tips on positive parenting? Follow Brittany on her Website, Facebook, Instagram or
Pinterest where she has created a place for moms to learn, gather, and share.

Are you raising a bilingual child? Subscribe for related articles. Follow Bilingual KidSpot on Facebook and
join our Private Facebook Group!.
Positive Parenting Tips for Parents

PARENTING METHODSPOSITIVE PARENTING

Chontelle Bonfiglio - Bilingualkidspot

Chontelle is a Certified ESL teacher, writer and mother of two bilingual kids. She offers practical advice
for parents seeking to raise bilingual or multilingual children; with inspiration, support and strategies
based on her experience as a parent, and as a teacher of a foreign language to children.

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1 COMMENT

Dolores Dyer

This was definitely a terrific article easy to understand and able to apply. Excellent research. I am
impressed with Brittany, she’s very bright and such a good mom!

OCTOBER 31, 2018 REPLY

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12 Positive Discipline Parenting Strategies - that WORK!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT "POSITIVE DISCIPLINE" IS, OR WHY IT IS BEST FOR KIDS? READ THIS!

by: Andrea Nair

We hear the term “Positive Discipline” used frequently, but many parents are unsure exactly what this
means, and why this form of discipline is the best for our kids.

The word discipline has origins in the Latin word disciplina, which means, “to teach.” Adapting this
concept to raising children, I believe positive discipline means guiding, redirecting, and teaching our
children in a way that opens them to be the best they can be. It’s like helping them grow the biggest set
of wings possible.

15 Ways To Handle Unwanted Parenting Advice

The outcomes of positive discipline are to improve self-control, respect, responsibility, resourcefulness,
and to deepen relationships. Through the growth of these capabilities, the development of a moral and
ethical life happens, too.

Did you notice that I didn’t say one of the outcomes is to “be happy” or “successful?” When we live a life
armed with awareness, skills to help ourselves and others and a will to be kind and love deeply, there is a
good chance the happy days will outnumber the sad and scary ones and we’ll pick a vocation in life that
suits us.

Positive discipline does not mean becoming a parenting doormat. It means redirecting our children when
they do something inappropriate in a way that keeps our relationship with them intact.

Specifically, positive discipline means to guide our children with limits, boundaries and teaching without
growing negative core beliefs in the process.

In order for discipline to work, parents need to remember these twelve positive discipline strategies:

1. Connect first. Redirect second. Children need to feel they belong and they matter before we redirect
their behaviour.
Your Child's Bad Behaviour Could Be Connected To This

2. Acknowledge emotions. Take time to experience, feel and identify the emotions in your children
(and you, too).

3. Consider what needs your child is trying to meet. Ask yourself this question, “I wonder why my child
did that?”

4. Be kind and firm. Deliver your instructions and boundaries without being sharp.

5. Be mindful of both immediate and long-term goals. How can you curb unwanted behaviour right
now without growing relationship rifts or negative core beliefs down the road?

6. Teach the ways of the world and your house (social, life, safety skills). For example, what are the
“away spots” for everyone’s belongings? What house jobs can each family member do to help pitch in?
How do we use things in the house without damaging them?

7. Inspire problem solving. Involve your child when discussing, “Hmmm… What are our options now?”

8. Encourage capability. Don’t rush to rescue your children from struggles. The process of correcting
mistakes, figuring something out and finally getting things right is a wonderful teacher/ motivator.

9. Reduce compromising states. Do your absolute best to reduce hunger, exhaustion, tiredness and
over-stimulation. Everyone does better when they are full (spiritually, emotionally, and physically).
Create space for rest, play and outside time.

10. Focus on what your child can do rather than what s(he) cannot. For example, turn “No! Stop
running” into “Walking feet.”
11. Reel in the stinkin’ thinkin.’ Control your reptilian brain while helping your child to do the same
(that’s called self-regulation). Don’t provoke the cobra!

12. Know when to get out of the way. Give your children space to find and use their own voice.

Notice the words “preach” or “lecture” or “nag” are not on this list! Actually, the best positive discipline
often happens using the fewest number of words.

Using these twelve basic strategies, parents can use positive communication approaches to helping grow
their child’s brains, bodies, and hearts. Those approaches are best explained with hands-on examples so
I recommend looking at these books and Facebook pages for more information (click on the author’s
names to see their Facebook pages):

No Drama Discipline by Dr. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, PhD

Any of the Positive Discipline books by Jane Nelsen, PhD and her colleagues.

If I have to tell you one more time… by Amy McCready

Ain’t Misbehavin' by Alyson Schafer

Also my Facebook page where I post positive discipline tricks and tips every day.

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