Ok....... I know, I know its been a while....... but if you was where I was right now you might understand.... on top of all the shit I already am carrying with trying to recover from all these surgeries in the past year, life threw me such a curveball this past month....
People have shit on me big time.... so much so that my house is on the line and Im trying as best I can to keep our heads above water whilst doing the doggie paddle...
Anyways, enough of my shit....... Im not gonna do the last installment of me hospital visit LOL well not yet.... Ive had enough of hospitals and all that nonsense, maybe I will do that last part in a few weeks.... need to get it down for me lads, but not now.....
Im doing okay, sorta.... still having physio twice a week which is knackering at the best of times.... Im sorta walking if you can call it that with no crutches now.... though very vulvernable and a bit wobbly especially on uneven ground....... Ive been driving for a couple of weeks now, which has given me a bit of freedom.....
Got kids this week, just as holiday and sickness cover.... dont have much work when schools go back next week, just me before and after schoolers, which wont keep the wolfs from the door...... basically Im stuffed for being a good person, Im stuffed for having surgery, Im stuffed for believing that people besides myself had morals and kept to promises, Im stuffed in being a genuine caring loving person..... maybe I should turn into a shitbag, a nasty piece of work, someone that dont give a dam, someone that dont put others first, someone that dont give a stuff....... cos, its taken me all this time to realise, that most people are just out for themselves and they even stuff ya when ya most vulnerable, they stuff ya cos someone having major surgery just dont fit in with their fucking holiday plans......
So, Ive not been Twaddling, Ive sat often with the page open and just couldnt bring myself to Twaddle.... and whilst sitting here Ive thought of all the wonderful friends and people I have meet through this blob and through other blobs, people I have never meet that have sent well wishes and cards and gifts, most of which I so dont deserve.... people that know me probably better then most people here.... people that I have grown so fond of over my time on Twaddle... people I have come to love..... so I fank you all for your well wishes and your beautiful cards and the little gifts, all of which lifted my spirits when I was at such a loss at to human nature and shithead people.... you restored my faith in people..... there are good out there besides those that only take for themselves...... so I fank you all from the bottom of my heart.... I would say soul, but that still aint come back to me yet LOL
But today Im gonna Twaddle, I need to...... but, not about hospitals and shithead people and being stuffed by unmoral nasty pieces of shit LOL
Ok, so we aint had a summer, not really, just odd sunny days, no long hot summer days here..... I take it as a sign, thats 2 years on the trot after major surgery that the summer has left us.... 2 years on the trot that people I loved and trusted have shit on me...... so its a sign.... a sign that maybe Im at fault....maybe by being the person I am, it somehow gives people permission to use and abuse 'me'....... I need to learn from what has happened and not change the person I am, but be strong in the belief that who I am is okay, its who Im suppose to be....anyways once again Im off track LOL soooooooo.....
A couple of weeks ago, after not being out of the house except for hospital and doctors appointments (and no, maties aint offered to come and take me out or anything..... fuck em aye) being stuck in the house for over 3 months aint been fun.... also with no money cos Im self employed, its been difficult.... Ive barely kept me sanity LOL... but a few weeks ago, I told me physio...... sod it, Im driving, he gave me a few lessons in the carpark at the hospital and I was ready to go, with, Mel only really drive when you have to LOL..... oh shut it nick....
We had a sunny Sunday a few weeks back so I said to me lads.... ok, lets go to the pub, our little favourite pub, right on the waters edge of the harbour.... lets go get something to eat.... lets go bleeding mental and treat ourselves LOL (you see both my Ben and Sam are out of work, due to redundancies and in England unlike in America dole money is pennies)..... I rarely treat myself, and I have maties that eat out 2-3 times a week, not just once in a blue moon like I do LOL....
Our Tom was poorly so that just left me, Ben, Sam and Jacob.... sod it, I said, I have the last 30 quid in me purse me might as well go down with a smile and a nice memory LOL
So off to Hayling we went, it was strange driving...... Sam couldnt drive my car you see, he aint insured, and his car has been off the road for months..... Ben couldnt drive my car cos he is banned for 2 years LOL (long story)... and of course at 16 Jacob is to young..... anyways, it was fine, sorta LOL it was just nice to get out..... I was like an inmate that had been on day release LOL..... oh there was a world outside the 4 walls of my house.... I actually saw real people out and about lmfao.... how bloody pathetic aye lol
The Ferryboat is a pub on the Western tip of Hayling Island, Ive talked about it here before.... there is one little road down to the pub, not to wide so if there are people on bikes you have to go way slow until there is a break in the traffic coming the other way before one can over take the bikes......
And bikes there was on that sunday a few weeks back..... the road only leads to the pub and the beach..... anyways...... we was stuck behind 2 bikes that were riding side by side (how rude) instead of them riding single file cos the road was narrow.... and cars coming the other way made it difficult for us to try and pass without knocking the tossers into the hedge, and believe me, it was in my head lol.....
My Sam said, beep the horn mum..... no Sam its ok, we will wait.... after 4-5 minutes of crawling behind these ignorant gits lol... there was a break in the cars and bikes coming the other way so I had room to overtake these bikes in front of us..... oh my goodness to dam funny...... as we pulled level with them my Sam reached over and beeped me horn LMFAO..... the bloke on the bike began waving his fist and mouthing something at us.... to dam funny...... and as we pulled level his face was a picture of anger LOL.... we was in fits of giggles by now, and boys being boys my Sam made the 'wanker sign' at him out the side window at the bloke for being such a tosser LOL..... we drove off with visions of him in the mirror waving his fist and shouting things we couldnt hear....... blimey, talk about 'bike rage' LOL all we did was beep the horn, and he shouldnt of been so rude as to ride side by side on a narrow road....
So we get to the pub, there is no way I was gonna walk across the carpark and across the eating area with me crutches.... so for the first time I tried to walk without them LOL..... bit of a mistake lmfao..... but, oh well..... I kept saying I WILL NOT BE A CRIMPLE I WILL NOT BE A CRIMPLE....
We ordered some drinks and our meals..... and hobbled outside to sit in the sunshine on one of the benches on the back terrace overlooking the sea..... as we was talking we mentioned the tosser bike rider and then we began to giggle cos I said...... he was riding the same way as us, that means one thing...... OMG... that means he HAS to be coming to this pub LMFAO...... to dam funny, and with that as we looked across the crowds of people sitting eating their supper, there with a face as red as a beetroot and a face like a smacked arse...... came TOSSER BIKE MAN and he was heading straight for us hahahahahaha...
He was pushing his bike through all the tables (how rude) his face was like thunder..... we were so childish, we started to giggle..... he stood at the end of our table..... hello I said....... HELLO he bellowed........ which started me off laffing again....... I COULD OF HAD A HEART ATTACK he said....... I beg your pardon I said........ he repeated himself.... my Ben who just wont take no nonsense off anyone, just said...... go away little man....tiz ok Ben I said, let the little man explain...... continue I said.... my face was making all funny shapes trying no to laff.... you beeped your horn and I could of had a heart attack he repeated...... oh, I said, not being funny or nuffin I says, but if you are that weak of heart maybe you just shouldnt be riding a bike along a road with traffic that might beep you if you are not riding correctly, cos after all, YOU could of caused an accident if you had fallen off cos of a heart attack and I might of run ya little head over, now please, we are trying to enjoy a nice drink, I suggest you just take you bike and go calm down somewhere....
Steam, I swear I saw steam coming out of his ears...he just wouldnt let sleeping dogs lie, he actually banged his fist on our table and said........HOW DARE YOU BEEP YOUR HORN AT ME........ I looked at all 3 of me lads who were now wide eyed in total disbelief at this bloke........ I could see now that my Ben was a little, how shall we say.... peeved LOL...... please dont talk to my mum like that matie, not if you dont wanna end up in that there water with ya bike on top of ya for good measure....... which now started me giggling again......... you have to rememeber this is my FIRST trip out into the human world after months stuck in the house LOL...... the bloke just wouldnt drop it...... DONT LAFF he said..... and looking straight at Ben he said, and I would like to see you try and throw me in the water you little boy.....now, my Ben is far from little, and he is a bit of a scrapper when push comes to shove.... and unlike his mother he has a bit of a short fuse when people are pissing him off for no justifable reason.... my Ben is well bloody hard LOL and aint scared of no man, let along a jumped up tosser on a bike.....
Now the standard joke amongst me and me lads is that when we are confronted by a situation that needs delicate handling but looks like it might get nasty is this......... I always say..... SHOW HIM/THEM YA TATTOOs lmfao....... to dam funny.... ya see once, my tosser X was having a bit of a todo with someone and he said..... 'I aint scared of you, I have tattoos' LMFAO hahahah I have no idea if that was suppose to scare someone, but its something thats stuck with me now forever, so in situations that arise such as now, I always try and break the ice with.....'show him ya tattoos'.... you so probably wont get that but to us it sends us into fits of uncontrolable giggles.... the bloke stopped speaking mid yell.... blank look..... yeah I said, you had better not mess with us Wil...'s we have tattoos, and with that I stick out me leg and pull me jeans up and show me little leaping frog tattoo..... there, now ya scared aint ya I said...... Sam began rolling up his sleeve to get to his tattoo.....
Well, this bloke just went balistic....the table next to us had heard the whole conversation and were in fits of giggles.... the whole pub terrace was in silence listening LOL....... he just wouldnt let it go......... so in the end my Ben just stood up and said (he was actually now getting right annoyed)...... ok matie, I suggest you just go NOW or I will not be held responsible for my actions and I just hope and pray that you can swim.... I just say in a gentle quiet voice, sorry matie but I think you picked on the wrong table, a table full of 'Wil...'s' aint to be messed with, I suppose you should consider yourself lucky that our Tom is not here, cos this conversation wouldnt even be happening now, you would be floating in that there sea.... now, before I really loose me rag with ya, I suggest ya bugger off over there and get yourself a drink and think about anger management classes..... my Ben then takes one step towards him and he actually runs with his bike across the terrace and props his bike up against the pub wall and storms into the pub with his wifey in tow.....
This is our Ben :) now he aint scarey is he LOL
I know I know, we shouldnt of wound him up...... but if you had been there is was just the funniest ever....... we giggled like silly kids and even discussed about our Jacob sneaking across the terrace to the blokes bike and letting his tyres down LOL
Our Sam, I think that hat is glued to his head lol....
I suppose you just had to be there, but I laffed and laffed so much, it did me the power of good....
Anyways, I love this old pub, even with its extensions over the years, ya see, just across the harbour mouth of the Portsmouth side is where I was born, Milton Locks was where me parents lived and as a young married couple my father and mother would sail their boat across the harbour to the Ferryboat Inn and spend time there and then sail back...... when we kids were older our parents would often (they had moved by then and sold the boat) drive down to Hayling and this pub on the beach and spend time on the beach and in the pub...... just a few good memories from my childhood, and maybe thats why I have always taken my lads there...... who knows, maybe just trying to capture a few odd good childhood memories.....
So, anyways....... there is a sea wall that runs along the back terrace of the pub, the channel of water is to dangerous for swimming cos of the very strong tidal current, it would drag ya out to sea before anyone had a change to throw a life line, but there are always jetskiers there and little speed boats and of course the little ferry that goes across to Eastney end of Portsmouth and to which the pub gets its name.....
Wondering if its possible to love another human as much as I love this child..it looks like he is standing on the edge of the beach but there is a 6 foot drop behind him LOL
Now my Jacob, you know the one that is into 'free running' and doing flips off things, well, the seawall was just to much of a temptation for him.... and I have to so bite my tongue and not tell him to stop it when he does these things.......
Whatcha reckon mum, he says, ya reckon I could flip off there onto the beach below..... yes love I say, so there is no need to do it right LOL...... WRONG...
I know the seawall is only about 5-6 foot high, but still, Im his mother for gawds sake..
And then to make his mother (me) fret even more, he does it with his hands in his pockets LOL
Aint my baby just gorgeous lol....... and yes, one of those pints is his.... and I know he is only just 16..... but it was hot and the lager was cold and it was better that he has a pint with his mother then sneaks up the woods with a bottle of cider like so many of his maties do lol..... oh shut it....
Even though my Sam is an extreme skateboarder he stands in awe at our Jacob and his flipping ability to just flip off anything and everything....... Sam decided to lay on the beach below the seawall and try and take a photo of his brother as he flipped over him LOL..
This is the view one would of got if ya was sunbathing on the beach and Jacob flipped over ya head lmfao.....
Oh this photo so made me laff....... as Jacob peered over the wall at me after doing a flip, the angle of the photo just looked so funny, it looked like he was just a head on the beer glass.... you know, like 'the head' on a beer lmfao
aint that just the strangest photo......
As you can see by the time we had finished eating the sun was setting... this is a wonderful place..... and in the winter when the wind is whipping up a storm its a great place to sit inside the pub over looking the sea with the wind and rain battering the windows, whilst its all snug inside..... one day I will get to share it and my memories with someone.... maybe aye....
I took one last photo before the light got to bad for my crap camera..... and this I think is the bestest shot...... even with me crap camera...
This lad shows no fear....... I suspect soon there will be more trips to the hospital......
As we made ready to leave we realised the 'bike man' was nowhere to been seen and his bike which was against the pub wall had disappeared..... I hobbled back across the terrace towards the car, yes, hobbling like a crimple..... and I felt happy to of been out of the house and to spend time with me lads and to laff until my sides ached...... and to realise, that maybe after meeting the 'crazy bike man' just maybe, my family aint as crazy as I often think lol
We headed back down the narrow road, happy and contented....... OMG..... could it be, there in the distance...... please say it aint so....... it only bloody well was, in the gloom, we could just make out a couple of bikes riding side by side down the narrow road.... in the gloomy light it was hard to make them out until we came right up behind them...... omg IT WAS THEM lol the crazy bike man, had he learnt nuffin this afternoon LMFAO..... it was just to tempting to let go....... so I drove up next to him and me lad wound the window down LOL...... hello again I say.... you really should have lights on your bike at this time of night, I could of knocked you off I could hardly see you..... F*CK OFF he said......... how very rude.......... we giggled and laffed all the way home...... :)
ok, I know, long winded and boring and all that stuff for a Saturday afternoon....... but, I aint bovvered..... its just nice to be back on Twaddle, no matter what me problems are, Ive missed twaddling and most of all.... Ive missed you all.....
Im doing ok, really, very frustrated about me re-couping though, but thats maybe for another twaddle day......
know you are loved..
x
