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    The Four Types of Misbehaviours

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    Lords Porseena
    There are four main types of child misbehaviours: notice me behaviors seeking attention, help me behaviors seeking to keep parents serving them, make me behaviors seeking power and control, and hurt you behaviors seeking to retaliate or hurt others. Each behavior has a distinct goal and triggers a predictable reaction in parents. To change a child's misbehaviors, parents must stop reacting impulsively and instead identify the goal of the behavior and change their usual reaction, such as ignoring attention seeking behaviors and refusing to argue with power seekers. Changing parental responses is key to improving a child's behavior over time.

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    The Four Types of Misbehaviours

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    Lords Porseena
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    There are four main types of child misbehaviours: notice me behaviors seeking attention, help me behaviors seeking to keep parents serving them, make me behaviors seeking power and control, and hurt you behaviors seeking to retaliate or hurt others. Each behavior has a distinct goal and triggers a predictable reaction in parents. To change a child's misbehaviors, parents must stop reacting impulsively and instead identify the goal of the behavior and change their usual reaction, such as ignoring attention seeking behaviors and refusing to argue with power seekers. Changing parental responses is key to improving a child's behavior over time.

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    THE FOUR TYPES OF MISBEHAVIOURS

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    There are four main types of child misbehaviours: notice me behaviors seeking attention, help me behaviors seeking to keep parents serving them, make me behaviors seeking power and control, and hurt you behaviors seeking to retaliate or hurt others. Each behavior has a distinct goal and triggers a predictable reaction in parents. To change a child's misbehaviors, parents must stop reacting impulsively and instead identify the goal of the behavior and change their usual reaction, such as ignoring attention seeking behaviors and refusing to argue with power seekers. Changing parental responses is key to improving a child's behavior over time.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as docx, pdf, or txt
    27 views2 pages

    The Four Types of Misbehaviours

    Uploaded by

    Lords Porseena
    There are four main types of child misbehaviours: notice me behaviors seeking attention, help me behaviors seeking to keep parents serving them, make me behaviors seeking power and control, and hurt you behaviors seeking to retaliate or hurt others. Each behavior has a distinct goal and triggers a predictable reaction in parents. To change a child's misbehaviors, parents must stop reacting impulsively and instead identify the goal of the behavior and change their usual reaction, such as ignoring attention seeking behaviors and refusing to argue with power seekers. Changing parental responses is key to improving a child's behavior over time.

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    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
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    THE FOUR TYPES OF MISBEHAVIOURS ARE

    1. Notice Me behaviours: These behaviours include clowning, cuteness, some eating problems,
    interruptions, shyness, showing-off and whining. They are very common in young children who think that
    the world revolves around them.

    2. Help Me behaviours: These behaviours include incompetence, laziness, forgetfulness and untidiness
    which are all great ways to keep parents in childrens service. When parents respond to help me behaviours
    by reminding, tidying and doing things for kids soon become helpless!

    Both behaviour types achieve the goal of attention. You know you have attention-seeking behaviours if your
    feel annoyed or frustrated. And you tend to respond by scolding, correcting, reminding or doing tasks for
    kids, which is B-grade attention but good enough at any rate.

    3. Make Me behaviours: These behaviours include defiance, arguing, dawdling, temper tantrums and
    stubbornness. These behaviours let parents that they cant make them do anything they dont want to do.
    The goal is power and control. You know you have a power-seeker on your hands if you feel angry. You
    actually want to make your child do something. Its not pretty! If you respond by telling them what to do you
    often get an argument, more defiance or lack of cooperation. Theses kids dont mind a good scrap!

    4. Ill hurt you behaviours: These hurtful behaviours include hit, stealing, refusal to cooperate and saying
    hurtful things. The behaviours vary but the goal is the same to retaliate or hurt others around them. When
    confronted with these retaliatory behaviours you feel hurt or even threatened. How could she say such
    awful things to me? is a typical reaction. You also feel that you want to get even with your children for
    wanting to hurt you. It can get nasty!!

    Goal-related behaviour works because parents tend to be as predictable as a washing machine cycle. As
    difficult as it may seem you can change your childrens behaviours when you stop responding impulsively to
    childrens misbehaviours. Ignore notice me behaviours (and place your attention elsewhere), stop being a
    mule to help me kids, refuse to fight with power-seekers (and implement a consequence) and avoid overtly
    showing your hurt when confronted with retaliatory behaviours.

    Sounds easy, often hard to do. But discipline and behaviour-change is primarily about parental behaviour
    change. Start by avoiding your first instinctive impulse when kids are less than perfect and identify the
    behaviours goal. Then change your usual reaction. See what happens. Experiment a little and expect
    childrens behaviour to get worse before it gets better. Hang in there and you will see results in terms of
    improved behaviour.

    Michael Grose is a popular parenting educator and parent coach. He is the director of Parent Coaching
    Australia, the author of six books for parents and a popular presenter who speaks to audiences in
    Australian Singapore and the USA.

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