My PhD Journey (after 40 months)

Assalamualaikum, 

Hi semua...dalam sibuk sibuk dgn urusan dunia reality, I wanna squeeze this morning to jot down few things about my PhD journey. I started the study in July 2018, with full-time mode. Dengan izin Allah, I got the study leave that I applied, along with sponsorship to further this PhD. Syukur! Ada yang sudi sponsor my study since Foundation to PhD. Alhamdulillah #doaandsacrifices comes along. 

Literally, the first semester was spent to acquire the data from the data owner. I started requesting the data in May 2018, two months earlier than my enrollment date, worrying the process would take longer. Alhamdulillah, data request process was smoother than I thought. So, when I started the PhD, the first few months were focused on arranging the data, checking their quality, sorting and writing the literature review part. I have also loaded the data into specific software to view and play around with them. 

In November 2018, both husband and I along with our parents and sister went to Saudi to perform our umrah. It was the first time for me and the best experienced I had so far. Rindunya Madinah & Mekah. I have written one of the unbelievable experiences I had while in Madinah in this entry about Raudhah. 

Right away after returning from Saudi, I boarded another flight to Paris for an international workshop with research members of the International Geoscience Correlation Program (IGCP) for our 667 Project related to The World Map of Orogens. I just realized that I have not written anything about my Paris trip in this dear blog of mine. I spend merely two weeks in Paris and took the opportunity to finish my proposal write for the PhD. I also spent most of my time in Ecole Normale Superior (ENS) where my supervisor is leading a geological lab. 

Participants of the IGCP 667 first workshop in Paris

Following my return to Malaysia, I had submitted the full proposal and defended my research ideas in February 2019. I had shared some tips for defending PhD proposal in this entry. In the same semester, I have to present the progress of the PhD since I was already in the second semester of the study. During this time, most time was spent working in the university, with my workstation (which my husband helped to carry and set up in my office, Thank you You!). It involved lots of frustration because I have to re-do the work many times. 

Before I forget, by July 2019, a year into this PhDJourney, I had to change supervisors twice due to unavoidable matters internally within the university. The first supervisor was Prof Ghani and Prof Michael. Both of them left the institution around the same time (end 2018), and Dr Chow took over as the main Sv with Dr Benjamin. By June 2019, Dr Chow left UTP and Dr Benjamin had become my supervisor along with Dr Mirza. So, most of my works were assisted by Dr Benjamin. By December 2019, where the world had started to worry about newly form virus in Wuhan, China, I begins to prepare a manuscript for publication. This was elaborated from my second progress report presented to the department in Nov 2019. I continue writing and working with the seismic and well data, preparing for the next semester etc etc until one day before I delivered my youngest on 13th March 2020. 

Then, the world pandemic begins and things had turned virtually and online all over the world. So as my PhD study was mostly done at home after the arrival of Imaad Hafiy. Pandemic and lockdown is another story that affected us in many ways. I am lucky that I have completed most of the major workstation research by that time which I no longer need to use sophisticated software to analyze the data. With newborn baby and three elder children at home during the lockdown, I took it slowly with my PhD until June 2020 where I realized I need to start submitting the manuscript that I have written earlier. So, while the baby and the elder three were sleeping, their ummi was working with her first publication. I feel like a zombie for several months. In between writing, I will run away to bed to feed Imaad who is a milk junkie even until now.

After presenting in Virtual Conference (July 21)

Long story cut short, the first paper was published in early 2021 after a series of traumatized reviewing processses. I almost gave up. During the submission process, I have started analyzing and writing the other sets of data to meet the second objective of my PhD work. The second manuscript was ready for submission by April 2021. I am more confident with the second manuscript and as expected, reviewers liked what we wrote. In one month plus, the manuscript was published. The experience with the second manuscript was a pleasant one as compared to the first one. But both of these papers are dear to my heart because I have sacrificed and put my tears into the analysis and writing processes.  Call me over reacting, but I'm emotional like that. If your want to take a look into these papers, just search my name in Google Scholar or Research Gate. 

My study table at home. I decided to buy one for myself after lockdown started and I know most of my PhD years will be spent working from home. 

After the publication of the second manuscript, I begin to focus on the last part of the work, focusing more on the quantitative analysis. I am lucky to get help from a researcher in South Korea. We developed a relationship as a friend and share the same interest in geological subsidence. Over a few communications and video calls, I have finally been able to produce results from the data. I am indeed thankful for the technology that helps to connect ppl for this good purpose. I quickly get in touch and tried my luck to discuss the results I had in the last part with one of the expert matter we have in Malaysia. Alhamdulillah, had gotten such supportive feedback. Again, thanks to technology for connecting us. It took several weeks to finally come to the correct result and presentation and get approval to proceed with writing. 

Well, some may wonder why do I have to connect and find bits of help from the external parties while I already have my own supervisors in the university. To be honest, along the way, I changed supervisor again. 

Dr Benjamin had to left from France because he needs to be near to his family during the pandemic. So, Dr Mirza had become the main SV for a short while, before his contract with the university was not continued. I get too used to the change of supervisors and I feel numb to the process. I am lucky because all supervisors accepted the work that I am doing and do not interfere much with my research ideas and styles. By January 2021, I discussed the situation with the Head of the Department and expressed my intention to appoint him as the main SV because he is the only one I feel had a secure position in the department at that time. He was a bit reluctant because the work that I am doing is not within his expertise, but I convinced him that I will not make much trouble. So, he agreed. and Dr Ahmed who knew a bit more about what I am doing as the co-SV. To my surprise, Dr Ahmed had to leave the institution by Nov 2021 before able to see me complete my study. I am still lucky because the main SV had helped with the thesis corrections. 

And I am luckiest because I still have Prof Manuel from day 1 until today. Prof Manuel, who is fully based in ENS, Paris had been my field supervisor. He was my main SV during my MSc study (although he had to be back to Paris earlier in 2014, but we maintained the relationship until present). Of course it is not easy to maintain a long distance communication with time and cultural differences. I always end up waiting in front of the laptop when Prof Manuel could not make it to our online meeting. I even feel traumatized to set up a meeting with him at one stage of this journey because I know I will feel frustrated at the end since he will not show up or I don't meet his expectation. 

Prof Manuel when he visited my workstation in Sep 2018

in Manu's office (ENS) when I visited Paris in Dec 2018

The only one who will keep on pushing me not to let myself goes deeper into the frustration or anxiety is my husband! Sorry abang for all the throw-ups. Thanks for lending me your ears and shoulders. Also for always being so pushy, I can't even tahan, so I will just do it so you will stop pushing me. Because at the end of the day, I will come back to you smiling and happy when Prof likes what I have been working for. 

This picture was taken on the first day I registered as PhD study

11th July 2018 with the pushing factor. 

Love you suami!

Well, November 2021 is my 40th month as a PhD student. I had just finished two dry-runs (rehearsal) sessions with Prof Ghani and Prof Manuel (along with my Chee Meng, my PhD buddy) in separate sessions. I would say I am feeling a bit relieved after listening to their feedback on the work. InshaALLAH,  with a little bit more improvement, I am ready to go. 

Thats my phdbaby, Imaad Hafiy!

He always "teman"ummi work late at night. 

Next week, I will be presenting the research works for this 3.5 years for Research Completion Seminar to panel of examiners within my university and I am hopeful that I am able to make them understand the work that I had done. I hope the thesis will do justice and I can get a green light to proceed for viva nomination. 

Those reading, thank you. 

Please make your doa for me to be able to deliver the work dengan lancar dan mudah untuk the examiners to understand what I wanted to deliver. 

Selepas setahun sebagai PhD student....

Rasanya ialah LONELY!
Tak tau la orang lain yg dalam journey yang sama mcm I ni rasa ke tak perasaan lonely ni..
Lonely bukan sebab tak ada kawan, bukan sebab tak ada keluarga.
Lebih kepada Lonely sebab rasa mcm diri ni seorang je ke yg tgh buat benda ni.
Research ni nak rujuk dekat siapa?
Siapa boleh tolong jawabkan apa yg kusut dalam kepala ni?
Ini penyebab utama rasa Lonely ni.

Kadang-kadang bersembang dengan husband pasal research..
Iyalah, dia pun cuba sedaya upaya nak memahami..
Secara am nya dia fahamlah apa yg I plan to do, sedang buat ..
Cuma in details kita nak terangkan pun nanti dia tak faham jugak,
sebab kita sendiri pun tak berapa nak faham. hahahaha

Bila baca kisah pelajar PhD, kebanyakkan menulis cabaran masing-masing.
I pun sama, tak lari dari cabaran-cabarannya. But bukanlah cabaran yg besar, bukanlah terlalu berat.
Setiap yg berlaku pasti ada hikmahnya, dan kena sentiasa think positive, look at the problem on the brighter side.
Setelah setahun bergelar pelajar PhD, dugaan utama actually nak memahami konsep dan nak siapkan kerja dgn cepat supaya dapat habis cepat. This is my biggest challenge, which actually comes from myself sendiri.

I dapat cuti belajar 3 tahun, which means, sekarang tinggal lagi 2 tahun je lagi.
I juga tertakluk pada syarat graduation iaitu kena publish 2 papers dalam scopus index journals.
Publish ye, bukan sekadar submit.
Ini semua dah jadi kebiasaan universiti di Malaysia, untuk mengejar KPI uni masing-masing.
Pelajar agak tertekan actually. But do we have a choice?  rather than just to embrace it.

Supervisor
I dah 3 kali tukar main supervisor.
Bukan sebab tukar topic. Alhamdulillah topic masih maintain yg sama sejak dari register sehingga sekarang.
SV pertama cuma bertahan selama 4-5 bulan je, lepas tu dia pencen (kontrak x disambung).
SV kedua bertahan untuk 7 bulan. Tetapi his existence is more like pemberi markah dan signature apabila perlu.
SV ketiga, merangkap my co-sv initially just begins his part as main sv about a month ago.
But so far so good , relationship dgn dia ok, scientific discussion going on well.
Cuma , biasa lah, setiap yg results yg kita share, pasti akan di komen untuk penambah baikkan.
Bersyukur jugak lah, walaupun in the beginning part supervision ni mcam menampakkan jalan buntu.

My field sv is still the same. Which was my sv masa buat MSc dulu. Just that he is far in Paris. jarang2 we all contact but I send him email once in a while to keep him updated.


I have submitted two abstracts for conferences. Satu kena reject, satu accepted.
InsyaAllah tak ada aral, akan present dan publish paper dekat conference ni.

Also, I'm pregnant with my no 4 now!
Tak tau nak gelak happy or gelak sedih.
Both actually.
Happy lah sebab nak bertambah ahli keluarga.
Cuma cuak berdebar memikirkan mampu ke nak siapkan PhD ni dlam tempoh cuti yg berbaki lagi 2 tahun je lagi.
Bila fikir jadi stress rasa nak kena push study study.
Balik rumah je cita-cita tinggi nak kena stay up or bangun awal untuk ulang kaji.
But, end up, I tidor dgn nyeyak sebab penat sgt badan.

I'm still in my first trimester and Iyaadh is still bottle feeding and on diaper Itu jugk mungkin punca penat yg extra sbb malam-malam still bangun bancuhkan susu dia.

well, till then.

gtg.

Tips for research proposal defense

Assalamualaikum,

After about 7 months registered as a PhD student, I managed to present my research proposal for the proposal defense on 15th February 2019. It was Friday morning and was attended by three panels.

Started at around 10.10am and end up at 11.30.
Almost 1 hr 30 minutes jugaklah.

Of course, I was sweating throughout the presentation and can't wait for the final slide to appear on the screen.

I had actually submitted my research proposal to the panels of examiners on 30th Jan, allowing them at least two weeks to go through the proposal in written format.

Overall, I passed the proposal and the examiners agreed with what has been proposed.

They also suggested some improvement in the methodology, to be more quantitative in terms of extracting the porosity values using QI and velocity data.
I am yet to explore on that part.

It was a relief somehow that I passed the RPD without much alteration on the proposal but also explains that I only have 2.5 yrs to go.  Alhamdulillah and Allahuakbar.

No picture was taken on this day, haha.

If you asked me for tips to do RPD, a little I can share are listed below:

1. Wake up early that morning. If possible, make it a routine to wake up early.
If you are a Muslim, perform Tahajud Prayer and make lots of doa.
Recite Al-Quran. This will help you to feel calm.

2. Had a glance through at your presentation slides around 1-2 hrs before the real presentation.

3. Upload your slides and proposal in any drive on the internet. I used OneDrive.
You can also opt for GoogleDrive, Dropbox etc. This will be your back-up.

4. Download the slides from the drive, into the computer at the presentation room. Avoid using USB in public used computer. To reduce the chances of virus/malware transfer. Go through the slides once more in the presentation room. If the room is not available a few hrs before the presentation, try to familiarize the room a few days before the presentation.

5. Make sure your research proposal in written format is ready prior to the presentation, even if the examiners did not read it, it shows that you are ready
It also made you look more confident.

6. It would be great if you have preliminary results, or testing analysis and present it during the proposal defense. With this, the examiners can really see how far you are in your research and to give more confidence in your proposed methods.

7. It is very OK if your preliminary results are not what you expected. If it is showing the unexpected way from what you actually want, report it. Make sure not to repeat the same mistake, procedures, investigate it. This is what we call as research.

8.  Literature review: Be critical. Do not just cite and rephrase. Example: There are several proposed models by different authors. Mentioned all (or if too much, the most significant to your area), then state which model do you prefer, and why. Also mention that throughout your research, you will be based on this model etc. Same goes to several opinions in some matters.

9. Do not argue with the examiners. Keep calm if they did not agree with what you presented. Say politely your opinions and thanked them for giving the feedbacks(even if it is lame feedback).

10. Smile. Hide your nervousness and dress well to keep yourself confident. after all, you are the subject matter of expert for the research you plan to conduct.


Till then,

Love,
Athi

How did I end up being a PhD student?

Assalamualaikum semua.

It has been very looooong time since I last wrote anything related to academic in this blog. In fact, blog ni pon sendu semacam dah. No one reads blog nowadays. We prefers social media like Insta and Facebook. Well, since blogspot still wujud, I would just write something la for the record.

I am now a PhD student. It's one of the biggest decision in my life! Hahah, sounds so difficult kan nak buat decision utk embark to this stage of life. Takut wei nak buat PhD. Because I'm afraid of failure and at this stage of life, at 31 years old, with three kids who had actually started schooling, comfortable job (eh?), I think deciding to further my study to higher level is a bit crazy! Even though ramai je orang lain buat , even some of them pjj from their husband or family while furthering their higher degree.

How did I end up at this stage of life huh?

One step closer for the Msc

Alhamdulillah. It's another step before we finish our master journey. 

2 years after my research proposal defense on 4th of July 2012 (today, 3rd July 2014) my soft bound thesis was submitted to center of graduate studies.

Its just a bundle of papers stack together bind with rings , got some images (hopefully attractive) and lots of texts.. 

which mean a lot to me.. 

Read More>>

Baby Steps to My Dreams is shutting down

I have another blog, apart from this blog. Baby Steps to My Dreams, purposely created to note down my journey in getting a higher degree. However, I've been abandoning this blog quite few times. I think I am very loyal to cherish every cherry, thus this blog gets my attention more. So, I've decided to shut down the other blog and just keep all the writings here.

I will copy paste all the necessaries entries from the other blog in this entry. for my future reference. you guys don't have to read this. It's toooooo long. Boring saje.

Perjalanan bermula dgn kisah ini...

kisah isi borang uni sana sini

Salam,

ini coretan seorang insan yang tengah pening kepala bila bukak website uni kat malaysia dan cari course2 yang sesuai dgn kelayakan yang dimiliki.so sila jgn turut pening kepala sekali membaca entry terhuyung hayang ini.

saya habis degree tahun 2008.convo february 2009. lepas tu pulang ke Malaysia (kononnya nak berkhidmat dgn Petronas). tp dapat release. so mula berfikir-fikir nak cari kerja atau nak sambung belajar. Memang berminat nak sambung belajar sbb suka belajar and aim nak ada Dr walaupun Dr (Phd) sahaja. tp mahu ada experience kerja dahulu. So , while staying at my parents', i did apply for jobs in oil and gas field, in mapping field, and also apply to study with UTP. Just a back up in case lama menunggu dan belum ada kerja menjenguk.

Dipanggil oleh UTP untuk interview sebagai jawatan akademik di fakulti Petroleum. Al-kisahnya, masuk ke UTP bulan 3 atau 4, kemudian, buat application utk sambung study ke UK or France with September intake.Sambung Msc and Phd in Petroleum Geology. Sementara nak tunggu september boleh jadi RA di UTP dan dapat gaji RA. nnt dah balik dari UK/France akan attach dgn UTP as a lecturer.looks welcoming to me. tp my mum thinks too early for me to fly back to oversea since baru je balik from Aussie on that february. true, i think the same too. but on the same day i have the interview with UTP, i received a call from CGGV, replying for my job application as processing geophysicist. So, I turned down the UTP's interview and continue with CGGV interview. It wasn't that easy and I had to go through two stages of interviews with CGGV. Luckily I qualified and I started working with CGGV on 13th April 2009. In between that, I also got a job offer from a mapping company to work as a geologist in Grik, Perak. Comparing the prospect, I decided to take the offer from CGGV. So here I am.

then, I meet my husband, we hooked up as a couple. Both went to Singapore and States for company training. after training, I started once again searching for universities. Attend UMT (Uni. Malaysia Terengganu) interview to work as a Tutor. Been keep in touch with my referees in Australia as I need them to write me the referee's form in the tutor's application. Interview was successfully done during lunch hour at cafe in KLConvention Center. Agreed that I will further my studies in coral reef and sedimentary related environment. At the mean time, I was in closed contact with my future supervisor, Prof Dr Lindsay Collins from Australia.He got some research project for me in coral reef and sedimentary related topics. Done. Just wait for the UMT's intrvw result. Before I applied for UMT, I applied for tutor position with UKM, no reply.

While waiting, I applied for Academic Scheme with UIA. Got the interview. Take half day leave and went for the interview. An easy interview and right after the interview I was confirmed to be selected as one of the candidate to get the SLAB (skim latihan akademik bumiputera) to continue my master in coastal environment.

One week later, I received the offer letter from UIA. It was so fast and I decided to go on with UIA.Before proceeding with UIA's supervisor, I went to UM to meet Prof Azhar in Geology school. I wanted to be his supervisee. He agreed and I make confirmation with UIA that I'm going to attach as academic trainee with them but pursue my Msc with Prof Azhar. UIA did not agree, as they have qualified supervisor for me, Dr Shahbuddin.
Keep in touch with Dr Shahbuddin and made meeting with him at DePalma Hotel Putrajaya. Went there with my husband. we just got married at that time. Had brief discussion and I'm off for one week task to finish up with the proposal. Weeks before just received letter from UMT saying that I did not success the interview as they want somebody with Master degree. Finish my proposal and submit to my supervisor. Wait for him to reply. It took about one month until I heard him again. Proposal was ok, but need to modify the literature review section. I was 5 weeks pregnant by that. So, dengan berat hati, I declared the offer to further my Master with UIA. since my course will take me for field works. It's ok, its much more worth it. I got my Ilyaas Hafiy.

While carrying Ilyaas, I still continue doing some universities' searching. Can you see how much I am eager to start learning again? But after delivering Ilyaas, I slow down. I'm tired of filling in the forms (application forms, referee forms, proposal form), and tired of doing research of something uncertain,emailing here and there, telling I want to do research in this field yada yada yada..and it is difficult to actually find a university that want to take you as their academic trainee and once you finish your study in Msc and Phd, they will take you to work with them. At least its difficult for people who has degree in Applied Geology like me. Tak banyk uni baru di Malaysia yg ada geology course. Can list them...UM ada tp its an old establish uni, susah nak naik kalau kerja kat UM, UKM ada, tp more to civil engineering, USM ada geophysics tp USM needs 2 research papers for Master.., UMS ada, jauh benor mak nak ke sabah pulak ....

so, sekarang namanya mood tunggu dan lihat. sebab husband also in the process of applying for academic staff position with some uni. lepas husband dah confirm dapat uni mana, then baru i start again look for supervisor etc. Penat isi borang sana sini tp hasilnya tidak memberansangkan.Ataupun hanya separuh jalan. nak buat proposal bukan senanng, so baik confirm dpt attach uni mana dulu baru stat semula..

hmmm., okayla, off now. panjang gila dah entry terhuyung hayang ini.



Followed by this memorable moment for us

Registration Day

I am writing this entry while waiting for my husband who is making his matrix card..oh wait he's back!

Well he said cannot make stdent card today got some technical problem with the machine..hurmmmmm..what an international uni ....ahhhh x kisah la since all these procedures are done at one time basis.lepas ni duduk diam2 buat research..

Well,today 25 jan 2012 is our registration date with utp.we are now officially master students.but we are still working since companu need one month notice before resignation date.it will bw another one month before we both becoming a full time student.

Now,i am actually writing(sambung) from previous perenggans.we already reach kl around 9pm .terus singgah mcd for dinner.kenyang dah alhamdulillah.si tecik ilyaas pon kenyang makan semangkuk kecik bubur ayam mcd.

Back to cerita registration td...

-arrive at utp @ 11.15am.go to registry office.selesai urusan di registry office at 12pm.

-straight go to finance department to settle all fees needed.sampai je dh nmpk line pnjg giler beratur.ada 4 caunters tp yg uruskn pembayaran satu kaunter je.bila tiba turn kitaorg,ckp nk byr guna credit card,barula kakak jg caunter tu gitau yg mesin ada prob haritu.kn guna cash je.hampeh sungguh.dhla pnjg dn lama beratur.dgn baby lg.patutnya tampal la notis pemberitahuan cc xleh guna only cash.mmg geram la.bila tegur suruh letak notis buat muka.xsesuai lnsung nk jg front desk.

-dah kitaorg pon gi la bank nk draw duit.n then blk ke finance.sekali dh closed utk rehat.ok la no problem la since mmg rest time.dorg gitau bukak pukul 2.

-kitaorg gi la mkn,solat,salin ilyaas n bg dia mkn semua dulu..

-2.15pm kitaorg dh terpacak tunggu dpn kaunter finance yg blm di bukak lg tu.adui la lemah sungguh la sistem.dahla xde lagi pon notis bagitahu cc xley guna.so masih ramai student yg end up tak dpt byr sbb xde cash.

-dah selesai urusan finance kitaorg trus ke center of graduate studies.register course segala.dpt research log book n some utp goodies.kejap je.selesai.

- ke packet D nk buat matrix card.cari building x jumpa.sesat 2-3kali br jumpa.sekali br nk gitau tak setup lg.so semua student mmg xley buat kad lg...dahhh klu cmtu apsal xgitau awal2 kt registry ofis.ni suruh kita gi jugak buat kad .n dh la bg direction salah.mmg uji keimanan jugakla..

xkisah la.alhamdulillah semua dh selesai pun.pukul 4pm kitaorg round cr rumah sewa.sekitar tmn maju,bandar universiti n bandar seri iskandar.byk rumah utk disewakn tp smuanya dah fully furnished n nk 4-7org students in a house.ala-ala hostel la jgk.dorg xnk family.hhhmmmmmmm xberhasil pencarian rumah hari ni...

next time pegi kn gi cari rumah kat area seputih pulak.harapnya dpt la jumpa rumh sewa yg ok sesuai dgn harga berpatutan around rm350-500...td tgk semua runah rm600/650 cmtu sebb dh furnished n nk share reramai...

btw two pictures above are pic of the day.umi n ayah ilyaas registration day for postgrad student.ilyaas jd student termuda...

and then this one

Hello Uni!!!

Hello Uni! I am part of you again!
Please be nice to me. I am so unsure of what is awaiting for me here.
I am soon, very soon starting uni again.

Honestly, very nervous and doubtful for myself.
I can't remember the last time I sit down and study.
Things that fill my mind and soul for now was my baby.
He's so going to be my main source of motivation in this journey.

These few days, I google things like " study and mum", and found this very useful and inspirational website from Australia National University (ANU).

Becoming Dr Mum

I am so going to explore this website. Hopefully it will somehow benefit me in this new journey.

Hello papers, hello research, hello journals, hello field trips, hello lab works, hello microscope, hello ROCKS!!!!

Wish me luck.



and my first few weeks as postgrad students

first few weeks as student

dah masuk minggu ketiga saya bergelar student post-graduate.
baru berkesempatan nak update blog babysteps ni.sebelum ni bukan tak sempat, tapi tak ada nafsu nak update, sbb otak lebih risaukan proposal dan topic yang pending.

minggu pertama-27 feb-2march 2012
Isnin 27feb : Plan asal nak mula full time study on 1st march.supaya senang diri sendiri nak kira masa spend buat research. tp sebabkan banyak lagi urusan administration belum selesai, 27feb dah macam full time. pagi2 (taklah pagi sangat pon, pukul 9.30 jugak, hahah jangan jelez sbb sy student) dah keluar rumah. gi uni and jumpa dr.deva.
dia cakap topic kena tukar sbb prof yg specialize dalam carbonate nak retired dah. dpt tajuk pasal fractured basement analysis apakah itu, susahnya rasa.tp terima saja, kononnya berlagak hebat dan mampulah.
balik rumah, muka toye rasa tak mampu buat.bagitau husband dia pon suggest buat topic yg kite suke kalau nak senang.

Selasa 28feb: Jumpa head department, bagitau masalah topic dan supervisor. di-introducekan pada dr.aaron. but he's not specialize in things i want to do. tp dia attach dgn lab yang sama. prof yg specialize ni takde.tunggu next week untuk further discussion. habis masa seminggu macam tu saje.

Rabu-Jumaat: Lepas kat library.baca buku, baca journals. banyak masa untuk baca blog dn update blog.tapi tak lalu nak baca. mood down sbb risaukan research ni. sabar sabar sabar kata suami tercinta.

Sabtu: Ke Teluk Senangin, Lumut

Minggu kedua- 5march -9march
Isnin 5march - bangun dgn penuh semangat sbb ada meeting dgn dr.aaron dan prof bernard. determine to do my research in carbonate. pukul 9 dah terpacak dpn lab. sekali both of them were occupied with something emergency and need their expertise. meeting post-poned ke selasa 6march. pasrah. pegi library, baca buku dgn pasrah.

Selasa 6march- meeting sepatutnya pukul 10pg. tp post-poned ke pukul 2ptg. pasrah sebentar. tp masih semangat. pukul 1.50 dah terpacak depan bilik prof. lepas pump. ye sy masih mengepam walaupun hasil tak meriah mcm dulu.topic lain dah. meeting dr pukul 2-3ptg.ada 4 org lecturers sekaligus. dpt main supervisor prof dr javier,2nd supervisor prof dr bernard (sampai august) and habib (after prof left nnt). discussion yang bagus. outcome menarik. sambung meeting berdua je dgn prof.dr javier untuk lebih detail dan sesi perkenalkan diri supaya senang nak kerja sama2.

Rabu 7march- harapan nak dapat workstation dan desk sendiri tp masih xdpt. stay kat library.baca journal. tak productive langsung.by petang terus semangat dan sambung semangat sampai malam lepas Ilyaas tidur.

Khamis 8march- sambung research journals. Siapkan proposal untuk topic baru.

Jumaat 9march- hantar proposal baru ke supervisor. Lega. update blog ini. sekian.

dan kisah kecewa di sini

Frust

sy ni orangnya jenis kurang bersabar sedikit.
terutamanya pada benda yg sy betul2 nak. saya rs  saya akan usahakan sehabis baik supaya sy dapat siapkan.
master research ni belum bermula secara officialnya.maka sy rasa tidak selesa begitu.sbb sy betul2 nak cpt2 siapkan research ni dan proceed to the next step. byk lagi nak kena buat dan focus.contohnya pregnant anak kedua sebelum mula Phd...(kahkahkah...kalau abg baca ni, pls say yes )

tp saya mempunyai masalah dimana supervisor sy sgt sukar dihubungi..dalam erti kata lain, susah bonar dia nak reply email.
dah masuk 5 hari sy hantar proposal sy (termasuk sabtu dan ahad), tp takde pon respond balas dari dia.
saya susah hati sbb sy mmg nak mulakan research ni dgn kadar segera.
saya masih belum dapat workstation..jgn katakan workstation, kerusi meja nak bekerja pon belum ada.
saya xtau apa status saya sekarang ni..

aduhai supervisor ku, tolong la positive sikit ...prof dulu pon pernah jadi student gak kan, xkan tak ingt betapa excited and enthusiastic nye prof masa dulu utk dpatkan segulung ijazah...

another story

It's not an easy road I choose...

Hello everybody.

It has been sometime since I last write in this baby steps of mine. Well, few things happened and I am a bit occupied. I just realized that this research will never been easy and nice to me, I hope maybe one day it will be nice and understand me more. (Apakah yang aku merepek ni?)

To cut short, I learn that being a research student, you really really need to know what is your interest area. What is the topic you can do, and you want to do. It is absolutely two different things, you CAN DO and you WANT TO.

CAN DO  is referring to topics and areas within your limits. I study geology and used to work as a geophysicist, two different things. So people see me as a person who CAN do both either geology or geophysics.

WANT TO is referring to the topics and areas I love and interested to learn and be knowledgeable in it. Again, I am a geology student been working as geophysicists , But I WANT TO learn more about geology, not geophysics.

In finding your topics, there are few factors that will impact your end-result , especially when you are studying in a newly developed department, also in a new rising university.The factors are:

Your conflict of interest
Its within yourself, surely you will have to face this. What you want to do and what you can do and what your university has for you. It's the main factor. Here, what you can do is try to be strong enough on your interest topic and try your best to find the correct supervisor that will help you with your research.

The Supervisor
There will be one time when you can't decide whom you want to work with. And once you have decide and choose, you might find he or she is not available or there will be some logistics problems. Of course you will have to sort it out. Try to talk to the correct persons and discuss about it. Be professional and please do not include any heart feeling in finding the correct supervisor you feel comfortable to work with. Being said not to include any heart feeling, but you must make sure you are totally comfortable and surely can enjoy working and studying under his or her supervision. It is important to sort it at the early stage of your research journey.

The Availability of Data
This is very important. You must know what kind of data you will be working with. What is needed along the research. As for me, I will have to decide among 4 types of data(s). You will tend to take all of them but end up don't have enough time to analyse all of them. So, please be more careful on deciding this and check on your limits. If the research is for master, it will be ok if you surrender some data and keep it later maybe for your Phd, perhaps. In my situation, I'll be using only 2 types of data from the 4 mentioned earlier. So, I hope it will be less hassle.

The Equipment and Software
Another main important thing. Make sure what kind of software or equipment you are going to use. Learn about it or at least find some one to teach you with the software or equipment. If got chance to go for training, then go for it. But make sure it is the correct training unless you will find yourself listening to something not so beneficial for your research.

Timing
Put a target on when you want to finish your research. But please bare in mind that if your research is data dependent like mine ( some more it's industrial data), you will have to wait for it. Wait means you will have to do go through some protocols before you can start using it. It's the matter of permission and copyright and also legal. In the meantime, while waiting for the data, try to make your background study as concrete as you can. So that you won't feel any time is wasted.

Money
$$$$. Well, everything need money. So, please make sure you have grant or good foundation to support your research. If not, please don't be afraid or don't back out, there will always be a way for you to learn even there is no grant. Try to find topic and research area that will not need much money like ribu raban..
And things will get better from time to time once you perform a good progress on your research.

These will be enough for now. Hope I learn a lesson. And hopefully I can truly start my research with piece of mind. Let's starts with Bismillah


and this one...which still makes me wonder, why i can write blog so easily..why not thesis???

Only if writing papers as easy as typing blogs!

I am occupied with research now. Just started to write in a technical-way so it will be easier for me to do my proposal defence. Plus a preparation for submitting papers in the future.  Only now I realize how hard to write a sentence in technical paper. It is not that hard if we are the first person to discover or to study that particular area, but we are reading from others published papers thus, quoting them is very crucial. No matter what sentence you are going to type, need to quote. It is stressful because I found it's very difficult to generate whole new sentence using bombastic scientific words to deliver the same message. Alteration of the sentences is also crucial cause we don't want the meaning goes haywire and ppl interpret it differently.

Ahh, so I have spend almost 4-5 days reading and writing my so call technical paper, and I only end-up at 2 pages!!! How come those intelligent can write up to hundreds of pages? It's really a permanent head damage. I'm only in my master journey, not yet in phd...ahhhhh...

OKay, I'm not saying this lowered down my motivation to move on with this research, of course NOT!
Surely, I will adapt to this new situation and writing technical papers will be much easier than this. I just wish it is as easy as writing in my blogs!

Till then, off for Research Methodology course for the whole next week.

Then goes my proposal defense

My RPD

Salam,

Semalam 4 July. Independence Day untuk United States.
4 July 2012 jugak, hari saya buat RPD or nama panjangnya research proposal defence.
Saya sgt mengantuk lepas buat RPD, pastu balik rumah dah tak tertahan-tahan ngantuk tu.
Lepas Isyak terus berkubang atas katil dengan anak teruna, golek-golek bersama, I tidur dulu dari dia.
Niat nak baca novel tertangguh lagi sbb ngantuk tak tertahan.

Nak kata malam sebelum RPD I stay up sakan, tak jugak. In fact, tak bukak pun laptop untuk tengok presentation. Pagi sebelum RPD je, I bangun awal sikit and buat preparation terakhir.
Tu pun, masuk lab rasa xtau nak buat apa..Nerveous sgt kot, cuma tak terasa secara menggigil-gigil badan mcm dulu-dulu kalau nak present.

Over kan? dulu klu nak present, berpeluh-peluh dahi ni. Berdiri tak kena, duduk tak kena. Maybe tu zaman kanak-kanak kot. Takde mende lain nak dipikirkan, 100% otak focus pada presentation.
Sekarang I dah tua, 25 dah kot! Otak tak focus 100% pada apa yang nak di-present. 15% pikir apa nak dok buat kat rumah pengasuh, tambah lagi dia jatuh atas jalan tar pagi semalam. Hidung luka. jadi clown anak ku itu. 5% lagi pikir petang ni malas masak, so nak pi beli kat pasar malam. 15% dok pikir pasal VBAC sbb tengah fanatik google dan cari information pasal VBAC. 15% dok pikir baju raya nak kena beli kat anak teruna ku. Duit allowance belum masuk..

Oh berapa peratus je tinggal untuk presentation ni????

Aduhai! Teruk perangai aku rupanya. Baru sedar betapa tak focus pada research ni. Patutla orang kata, klu nak belajar, belajar terus..tak yah kawin-kawin lagi. Nanti focus cepat lari. Memang pun!

Tapi Allah tu Maha Kaya. Kita hilang focus bukan untuk berpoya-poya. Pikir perkara lain iaitu anak dan suami. Urusan rumah tangga. Pikir mak pak kita, mak pak mertua kita. Urusan yang membawa kebahagiaan dunia akhirat. Maka, Allah sentiasa tolong kita.

Yakinlah! Aku tak tipu, sbb walau dlm 4 bulan jadi research student ni, aku dpt rasa kalau kita mencari ilmu dgn ikhlas, walau tak cukup masa nak study menggila macam zaman undergrad dulu, Allah sentiasa permudahkan.

Melalut sakan dah ni. Ok, RPD semalam shockingly I feel so relieved and lega sngt2. Nak kata buat gempak gila, memang tak la. Preliminary result pun takdak lagi, data pun takdapat lagi. workstation pun belum dapat install.

Tapi, MashaAllah, berkat doa suami, makpak aku, and makpak mertua aku agaknya...Maybe berkat bawa baby ni dalam perut jugak kot. Semua soklan examiners dpt dijawab dgn lancar dan harapnya mereka puas hati lah.

Selain tu, dapat more guideline and jalan apa yang perlu di tekankan lepas ni. Bahagian mana yang perlu di-ambil berat dan di baca dgn lebih teliti dan mendalam lagi.

Tapi tak boleh cepat berpuas hati. Sekarang baru 1st phase. Banyak lagi yang kena buat. Jauh lagi perjalanan. Cuma harapnya, permulaan yang baik membawa kepada pengakhiran yang baik, InsyaAllah.Mudah-mudahan.

Doa dan harapan 


plus data collection

Data Collection

Last week, on 30th July I received a letter from Petronas stating that my data request (for my Msc) has been endorsed and everything is going smoothly. So,what I need to do is get my supervisor and lab signed and stamped the letter of agreement.

Luckily, the process went as smooth as I imagined. So, 1st August I received another email from Petronas inviting me for data collection in twin tower.

Jadinya, next Monday, I will be going to KLCC (lagi?) untuk data collection. I was excited and enthusiastic to start my analysis and research for real. But the thing is, I don't even have a proper work station that can handle heavy seismic data and heavy software I'm going to use for this research.

It's ok, one thing at a time. Some more we are going for a long leave for Hari Raya, I'll better sort the computer thingy after that, plus my sv is going away for a conference + holiday in Aussie in the mean time.

Till then, wish me the best health and mind to continue this research. Soon, in January I'm going to take maternity leave, so I need to get as much as I can done before that.

PS: My husband also just finished his proposal defence and it went well. Alhamdulillah.

while waiting for Imani

In between

In between research,preparing for new family member and handling a toddler

and last but not least

Penghujung 2012, Permulaan 2013

Alhamdulillah.
Harini ada mood sikit nak update blog babystepstomydreams ni.
Kalau tak, sebelum ni asyik rasa tak tau mcm mana nak mula tulis kat sini. eh, bukan tulis, type.
asyik update cherish every cherry jer.
Arini 31 dec 2012, last day tahun ni. pejam celik, dah 9 bulan saya jadi student master. dah 8 bulan saya pregnantkan adik baby. tinggal 3 minggu lagi dari tarikh melahirkan.
Alhamdulillah, harini saya dah submit progress report untuk semester sep2012-jan2013.
Submit pada supervisor dan juga pada examiner. Patutnya kena hantar pada 2 orang examiner.
tapi examiner sorang lagi tak ada kat uni.
Harapnya dorang clear la dgn setiap description yang saya terangkan dalam progress report tu. sbb untuk semester ni, saya tak buat oral presentation. memandangkan lepas discuss dgn supervisor, we both couldn't find a suitable date untuk buat presentation and gather all the examiners on one date.

coordinator post-graduate pon cakap tak apa, lagipun untuk case mcm saya, mmg boleh exemption patutnya sbb tarikh untuk buat symposium progress report ni ialah lepas sem break until 15feb. maknanya, sekarang ni saya dah hantar progress report awal dari tarikh sebenar.

Memang saya dah get myself ready dari awal2 mula sem ni september lepas lagi. target, by end of dec, saya dah submit untk progress report (walaupun belum tarikh submission). sbb saya tak nak lebih kelam kabut nak submit report waktu tgh berpantang nnt. Susah payah jugak nak write progress report ni. especially untuk result yg takde literature/report yg support. Pening kepala pikir nak buat scientific sentence.

Sekarang, saya tunggu hari. eh ye ke dah tunggu hari. ada lagi 24 hari ke tarikg melahirkan.
saya plan, nak kumpul semua result(s) yang ada setakat ni, document kan. atau sort out dalam satu folder. supaya x pening mencari lepas cuti pantang nnt.

pastu nak attend scientific writing course hari khamis ni. dah start menulis utk submit paper pada bulan april nnt. untuk geological society of malaysia. Insha Allah.

Overall, tahun 2012 ni salah satu target saya tercapai. Sejak habis degree, saya bercita-cita nak sambung belajar. tp rezeki bekerja dulu dan berkahwin serta beranak satu dulu. Ada beberapa offer utk sambung belajar saya terpaksa tolak sebelum ni, sbb masa tak sesuai. Tp offer yg saya dpt 13jan 2012, saya dan suami sama-sama terima. Now, here I am. here we are. kami sama2 student. rezeki sambung belajar, lepas sebulan lebih jadi student sepenuh masa, saya sah pregnant anak kedua. jadi ini ialah baby master saya, Insha Allah.


2012 juga berakhir dgn khabar baik dari MyBrain 15 dari KPT. Permohonan saya untuk mymaster dah diterima. Next step, saya perlu forward kan pada finance UTP. Insha Allah, next semester lepas habis pantang, tak perlu buat kerja GA/tutor lagi. boleh fokus 8am-5pm pada research dan study. Insha Allah


2013
- saya target untuk sambung writing thesis bila ada kelapangan waktu berpantang nnt. ataupun lepas pantang.
- kena join field trip ke niah.sedikit berbelah bahagi sebab saya takut menggangu perjalanan breastfeeding saya dgn baby baru nnt. tp kalau itu yg terbaik utk dptkan segulung ijazah, saya redha dan pasrah. saya tawakal supaya walaupun saya away utk field trip, adik baby masih dpt minum ebm (mintak stok byk) dan tidak reject direct feeding after umi balik field trip. contact numbers untuk ke field trip pun saya dah sediakan.
- lebih pandai bahagikan masa antara keluarga, study and research, serta masa untuk diri sendiri.
- tingkatkan kesabaran dlm menjadi seorang pelajar berkeluarga dan beranak.
- support husband tanpa henti untuk dia juga siapkan master.

yang penting, perjalanan dah dimulakan, saya perlu habiskan.walaupun susah, ini jalan yg saya pilih. ini jalan yang Allah telah tetapkan pada saya, suami dan anak-anak. Saya perlu kuat dan habiskan perjalanan ini. Mudah-mudahan dipermudahkanNYA.Amin.

December, pls be nice to me

That's my December.

Occupied calender dgn tarikh-tarikh yang sudah ada plan masing-masing.

Kalau ikutkan, first week december je yang agak free.

Tapi sebenarnya tak jugak, terjebak dengan preparation for seacarl auditing. yang akhirnya saya surrender. Untuk baki minggu-minggu terkahir tahun 2012 ni, saya bekalkan melt away stress daily calming lotion, buat bekalan kalau stuck dalam research. Malangnya, lotion tersebut jenama Johnson's, yg menyumbang pada rejim zionis. tp lotion ini dibeli lama dulu, sebelum saya peka dgn keadaan ini.

December, bulan kritikal untuk saya. Nak siapkan report untuk symposium, dan submit dgn hati tenang. Kalau berkesempatan, nak present before bersalin, means in early january. Tapi, masih byk yg saya rasa tak confident, especially bagi platform yg mmg tak ada reference dari literature/publish paper langsung. Serta seperti biasa tiada guidance. Kritikal jugak sbb ada appointment dgn pakar di hospital besar, untuk check size luka czer. Berdebar nak tahu saya boleh bersalin normal atau tidak kali ni.

Weekend ni ke KL. Berharap dapat singgah sekejap untuk ke pesta buku sang serigala itu. sana-sini orang bercakap pasal serigala tu. teringin jugak nak pergi. List buku nak dibeli untuk diri sendiri and the kid(s) pun dah ada. Dgn harapan tidak terlebih bajet.

Weekend depan pulang ke Penang, Harus melawat atuk yang kurang sihat, serta attend wedding sepupu. Serta nak siapkan bilik di rumah mak untuk persedian berpantang nnt.

Weekend akhir December, ayah ajak ke CH lagi. Ada family day KTSkill. Nak tolak rasa rugi, percutian pendek, tapi nak ikut ke CH rasa berat dah nak bawa perut yang ketika tu sudah 36weeks plus. Nak tinggal berdua dgn Ilyaas di rumah, rasa tak mampu pula. Mungkin, ikut saja ayah dan suami ke CH untuk satu malam.

Dalam kesibukan bulan december ni, sempat pergi dating dgn my awesome man last thursday. dating tgk movie breaking down part 2. Best! Lagi best sbb tengok semua part dgn jejaka awesome saya.

cuma tak berapa nak puas hati kenapa jacob dgn reaneese??? concept tak dapat mak, dapat anak pun jadi

jatuh hati dgn lagu tema breaking down. dari dulu lagi suka lagu ni.
Thousand years by Christina Perri

Hospital beg pun dah packing. Belum letak dalam bonet kereta sbb ada beberapa item belum ready. Kena sterilise manual pam dulu. Kali ni nak bawa pam ke hospital siap-siap. it will make my life easier in emergency case. Husband dah bising, lambat packing sbb skrg mmg dah mula rasa-rasa nak beranak. Taklah, belum masa lagi. Baby tunggu masuk 2013 dulu ye, at least kalau 2013, kiraan by year awak n abang awak akan jadi 2 tahun. Kalau keluar 2012, nnt jadi beza umur 1 tahun saje.

Sedap layan ABC ni waktu lunch semalam

tambah lagi keadaan panas-panas di sini, nikmat.

Alhamdulillah

pasni kena pantang ais 100 hari...( mampu ke?)

Ok, sampai sini dulu bebelan ..

yang penting, struggle bulan december ni, InsyaAllah, DIA sentiasa bersama kita. 

ps: kalau korang nak cari barang-barang UK yang preloved n good condition, sila lawat belog ini.

UK Bits & Bobs

dan bagi yang mencari diaper clutch, bengkung moden ataupun nursing cover boleh visit blogshop saya

MyHafiy Blogshop

TQ

Whenever I need a motivation

I don't know if this appropriate  post in cherish every cherry. I think somehow it is more suitable to be posted in the babysteps to my dreams. Nevertheless, it's mine,so tak kisah lah dimana-mana pun post ini berada.

It's already November,already 8 months after I registered myself as  a fulltime research student for Master. Yet, the progress is little. I don't know. Sometime, I think my progress is ok, even though it's not meeting my original timeline. But sometime, I feel lost. Lost in the middle of the research. Don't know where to go after this, where to start, where to continue and where to stop.

Sometime, I feel like I didn't care much about my research, but spending more time thinking and doing other things especially when the matters are about Ilyaas and my pregnancy. If Ilyaas is not well, I can't concentrate on my research. I tend to take half day off from research, or even full day off from research.

I plan to stay -up late during the night, or wake up early in the morning to study or read something. But, end up I sleep as early as Ilyaas, and woke up in normal time. I feel so frustrated with myself. I can't deny that being pregnant again, I always feel tired and easily falls asleep.

Another thing is, I always feel I failed as a student. I failed as a wife, I failed as an umi. Because I can't be a superwoman to both my husband and my son. I fall asleep earlier. I didn't cook bombastic delicious food. I didn't clean the house every day. I didn't spend quality time to my son. I let him throws his tantrum. A

But, whenever I feel like this, I know I just need motivations and positive thinking. And just need a me-time with Allah. Spend more time with prayers and duas.

And I do read Kak Azza's blog many many times. Cause she's really an inspiration to me.

And recently, my sil attends her phd convocation. That is also another inspiration for me.

And of course, my other sil who already a phd dr long time ago. she's another inspiration.

If these people, and lots more people out there can do it.InsyaAllah, I can do it too!

I learn that, no matter how long you take to get what you really dream of, if you keep on walking and doing it, you'll surely get it.

Take one step at a time. Ignore what people said if they make negative comments. Only take those positive comments.

I'm the one in this journey.

November sudah

Assalamualaikum,

Tadi masuk lab, tulis tarikh 1 Nov 2012.
Baru sedar pejam celik pejam celik dah hampir hujung tahun 2012.
Rasa mcm baru je masuk 2012. Rasa mcm baru je resign dan register diri sebagai student master by research.
Alih-alih dah nak habis satu tahun.
Hari ni pulak busy sgt. Sebab esok pagi-pagi ada discussion dengan sv. Dan hari ni jugak baru dapat idea apa nak di-discusskan. Dan hari ni jugak baru nak prepare.
Last minute person sungguh la!
Dan hari ni jugak nak kena pegi buat spec baru sebab semalam Ilyaas dah patahkan spec lama.

Bila dah masuk November ni, rasa lebih gelabah dan gabra lagi.
Sebab banyak benda tak siap lagi.

Satu...
Research mmg dah tak ikut original timeline, sebab pelbagai perkara yang out of control.
Tapi masih bersyukur sebab tetap ada hasil. Dan insyaAllah akan selesaikan symposium pertama sebelum cuti panjang nak bersalin nnt.
Kalau boleh sebulan ni nak mantapkan result yang ada sekarang. Dan nak sambung balik tulis part of thesis yg terbengkalai kejap aritu.
Reading utk theory kena lebih banyakkan.

Dua...
Hari Isnin ni nak kena buat MGTT test. sebab berat naik 4kg dari last check-up. Walaupun tak nampak kat mana berat tu naik, tetap kena ikut prosedur kementerian kesihatan. Pasrah demi kebaikan diri sendiri serta anak dalam kandungan. Dah baca satu blog yg tulis prosedur2 nak kena ikut utk MGTT test ni serta keperluan buat test ni. Harap dapat control berat supaya tak naik mencanak-canak mcm first pregnancy dulu. Almost 80kg ok! Pengsan kalau takleh turun berat asal.

Tiga...
Bila dah november, maknanya dah 7 bulan mengandung. dan masuk third trimester. Excited nak dpt anak baru. Tp takut jugak nak bersalin lagi. Dan tau, tak lama lepas bersalin nnt, mesti rasa teringin nak ada baby dlm perut lagi...hahah.. tipula kalau mak-mak yg pernah pregnant tak teringin nak pregnant lagi. Walaupun susah payah bawak badan yg berat ni, tp keseronokkan rasa pergerakan baby sorang2 dlm perut tu Allah je yg memahami. Dan gelabah jugak sbb tau bila masuk 3rd trim ni, maknanya, bila-bila pun baby boleh buat cubaan nak keluar. So, barang2 baby semua kena get ready dah. Setakat ni, baju dah ada beberapa helai, tu pun nenek dia belikan.

Empat...
Tadi sv cakap, lepas deliver and dah rasa sihat, dia nak saya pegi field trip. Ok. Memang perlu. untuk research sendiri. Tp nanti lepas deliver sy nak susukan baby. So, mmg kena fikir jugak mcm mana cara nak pastikan bekalan susu cukup, tidak bengkak susu sepanjang field trip dan penghasilan susu tidak berkurang lepas balik field trip. n kena praktis baby minum dari botol tp tak refuse nipple walaupun umi dia kena pegi field trip seminggu dua tak direct feeding dia. Ok, takut bila fikirkan semua ni. Sampai masa, sy kena harungi jugak. Mudah-mudahan segalanya dibantu DIA nnt.


Okayla,nak balik rumah. Nak pikir nak masak apa pulak untuk dinner. Harap malam ni boleh stay-up (tak tertidur bila tidurkan Ilyaas). Nak kena siapkan preparation untuk discussion esok.


Jom baca Yassin sama-sama malam ni. Malam ni kan malam Jumaat.

K byebye

DIY cupcake

In the middle of studying and carrying a research, I always feel lost, sometime rasa nak give up. Sebab tak reti nak buat. Tp bila fikir-fikir balik, I am here to study. I student .Bukannya expertise, so mmg logic la tak reti nak buat. Cuma, I have to speak out, and find a help.

Dalam usaha nak mencari help, I must help myself la. Kena lebih banyak membaca, lebih banyak bersabar. Dan rasanya perlukan a break satu dua jam. Untuk kurangkan ketegangan minda dan hati sendiri.

Ternampak status ini dari SweetCuppy By Nanie malam tadi. and kebetulan tadi ke library time geng lelaki solat jumaat, so after one tour in library, pinjam buku, terus tergerak hati nak ke booth kak nanie. niat nak jenguk2 je.

tapi end up, I beli 3 biji cupcake and DIY decoration sendiri. 

Ad-hoc , xde plan. 

So, decoration pun cincai saja lah. 

Pilih cupcake flavour. Vanilla takde =(

So amik coklat la

Letak topping

Deco sendiri. Punah. Tangan batu, takde seni langsung. 

Tapi tak kisahlah, I enjoyed!

Pastu bila masuk sugary flavour dalam badan ni rasa lebih bersemangat dan pening 

Satu untuk Ilyaas

Satu untuk Umi

Satu untuk Ayah

Next time Kak Nanie buat baking class, or deco class or apa2 class I think I would like to join. 

Sebab kat Tronoh ni takde entertainment, so I better occupied my time dgn pergi kelas2 ini. 

Well, semalam ada kelas make up ok kat UTP. tp I tak pergi la. 

Kalau ada kelas menjahit nak pergi juga..errr, sejak bila berminat dgn kelas2 kewanitaan sebegini ye?

Sindrom pregnant anak perempuan kot? Mudah-mudahan...

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Kisah RPD

Dalam entry smlm kan, saya sgt emotional before RPD sy. Hampeh sungguh.
Seb baik dah lepas.
Lega.

Klu nak baca cerita panjang kisah RPD, boleh la baca kat entry ni yer.

Terima Kasih.

Petang ni nak balik penang.esok nak pi makan nasi kandaq.

Jangan jelez!

Bye.

Eh Eh, sat sat... Jenguk dulu MyHafiy Blogshop ye :) Tima Kacih !

For Yesterday post

This is the reason for yesterday post...

It's not an easy road I choose

But surely, I will walk through it InsyaAllah

with everyone's support and doa

Dugaan

Hari ni merupakan hari yang sgt2 memenatkan. Penat badan, penat otak, penat hati. Rasanya ni lah hari paling tak best sepanjang bergelar student ni. Lucky I have my husband around.

Maaflah, takde mood lagi nak cerita apa terjadi. Tapi perjuangan harus diteruskan. Menuntut ilmu ni kena niat yang betul, ikhlas , dan tak boleh berputus asa. Mcm mana pun, kena act professionally as a matured adult.

Update diri sendiri

Sebenarnya tgh study. Tapi tak berapa productive. Siap kantoi dengan hubby saya dok godek blog. Sorry lah bang, klu mood berblog dtg, mmg cmni la ye isteri awak..Tp, jgn risau, mood study pon sentiasa ada..Klu dtg angin nak study je, blog pun xnak jenguk. 

okay, nak cerita apa kah kali ini? rasanya nak update pasal diri sendiri lah.Lama dah tak tulis pasal diri sendiri.Ilyaas Hafiy asyik conquer blog umi dia. 

Sekarang hidup saya lebih relax. No more bersesak-sesak berebut nak naik Monorail ke LRT ke. 

Kepala pun tak sakit dah, klu tak dulu balik kerja je kelam kabut tunggang langgang jadi mommy-monster nak siapkan segala benda dalam masa sejam lebih sebelum habis waktu maghrib. Tapi, sekarang tak lagi, balik rumah, lepak2 basuh botol susu Ilyaas dulu. Kalau belum solat asar, will solat first. Then, masak ala kadar.Masak pun tak la lintang pukang mcm dulu. Sekarang ni rasa masak tu sebagai therapy of the day.Tapi, sekarang ni ada assistant chef dah ok!Sapa lagi kalau bukan anak teruna sorang tu, terkedek-kedek dia naik tricycle dia datang dapur, 'tolong' umi 'kemas' dapur. Kalau ada pasar malam, tak masak lah. So petang tu lebih relax sbb boleh 'gardening'  cabut rumput yang belum jadi lalang tu. Berangan nak tanam pokok pandan, pokok daun kari segala lah, tp dalam mimpi jer..

Tu bab relax. Bab study pulak...Dah sebulan la kiranya jadi student ni. Sgt byk benda yang tak tahu. Sgt banyak benda nak kena baca. Seriously, baru tau susahnya jadi student by research. Tak nyempat2 nak baca..bila baca journals, jumpa terms yang tak difahami, kena fahamkan dulu term tu. in order to understand the term, kena pulak baca 3-4 chapters dalam buku setebal 700-1000 muka surat! Lelah mak nak ooooiii...

Memang tak sempat la. Semput jadinya. Dah la sy ni tak la rajin mana orangnya. Tapi, takpe tak stress mana compare dgn masa kerja dulu. I love reading and always enjoy doing it. Bak kata blog babysteps2mydreams " Learning is pleasurable, but doing it is the height of enjoyment" ---> Nerd kah aku? Ahh, lantaklah, nerd pn tak kisah, Rasulullah kan pernah bersabda, menuntutlah ilmu hingga ke negeri cina..dan dalam Islam pun ckp, belajar itu satu jihad. Semoga Allah permudahkan jihad kami dalam belajar ni, Amin.

Sekarang ni, hobby online shopping dah kurang dah. Sebab dah takde duit! Hahaha,tapi kan, dah ada perangai baru iaitu, search buku-buku yang berkaitan dgn bidang pembelajaran saya ni. Saya minat bidang ni, so hobi baru ialah nak buat my own collection of geology (in general) , carbonate and sequence stratigraphy (in specific) books. My current target is Carbonate Depositional Environments by AAPG Memoir 33. Maknanya, kena kumpul duit dulu slow-slow baru boleh beli buku ni.. Ha, sapa nak tolong sy kumpul duit, boleh la tolong sebar-sebarkan biznes kecil-kecilan saya ni..jual diaper clutch and barang2 pre-loved baby.

Diaper Clutch ni best gila tau! Memang tak rugi la kalau korang beli (utk kegunaan sendiri or nak bagi hadiah kat orang)... Apa lagi? Jomla tengok...Klik link ni...

Okay,sekian dulu..

As'salam. 

Sila jangan boring baca entry ni...