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DIARY OF A WIMPY KIDDIARY OF A WIMPY KID
2
THE
DIAR
Y OF
A
WIMPY KID
SERIES
1
Diar
y of a
Wimpy Kid
THE
6
Cabin Fe
ver
11
Double Down
DIAR
Y OF
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WIMPY KID
SERIES
2
Rodric
7
12
1
k Rules
The Third Wheel
The Getaway
Diar
y of a
Wimpy Kid
3
The Last Straw
2
Rodric
k Rules
4
Dog Days
3
The Last Straw
5
The Ugly Truth
4
Dog Days
5
The Ugly Truth
6
Cabin Fe
ver
8
Hard Luck
7
The Third Wheel 9
The Long Haul 8
Hard Luck
10
Old School
9
The Long Haul 10
Old School
11
Double Down 13
The Meltdown 12
The Getaway
14
Wrecking Ball
13
The Meltdown 15
The Deep End 14
Wrecking Ball
15
The Deep End
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y of an
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vie Diar
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Jeffer
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The Next Chapter
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y of an
s Awesome
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Awesome Friendly Kid:
Rowley Jeff
erson’
s Journal
Rowley
Jeffer
son’
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3

4
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ound at
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.
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can be f
ound at
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.
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First published in the English language in the USA by
Amulet Books,
an imprint of
ABRAMS,
2020
First published in the English language in the USA Original English title:
Diar
y of a
Wimpy Kid:
by
Amulet Books,
an imprint of
The Deep End
ABRAMS,
2020
(All rights reserved in all countries by Harry N. Abrams,
Inc
Diar
y of a
Wimpy Kid:
.)
Original English title:
Published simultaneously in Gr
The Deep End
eat Britain by Puffin Books 2020
(All rights reserved in all countries by Harry N.
Abrams,
Inc
.)
Published simultaneously in Gr
eat Britain by Puffin Books 2020
Wimpy Kid text and illustrations cop
yright ©
Wimpy Kid,
Inc
.,
2020
DIAR
Y OF
A
WIMPY KID®,
WIMPY KID™,
Wimpy Kid text and illustrations cop
and the Greg Heffley design™
and the design of the book’
yright ©
Wimpy Kid,
Inc
.,
2020
DIAR
Y OF
A
WIMPY KID®,
s cover ar
e trademarks and
trade dress of
WIMPY KID™,
and the Greg Heffley design™
Wimpy Kid,
Inc
.
and the design of the book’
All rights reserved.
s cover ar
e trademarks and
trade dress of
Wimpy Kid,
Inc
.
All rights reserved.
Book design by Jeff Kinne
y
Cover design b
y Jeff Kinney and Mar
cie Lawrence
Book design by Jeff Kinne
y
Cover design b
y Jeff Kinney and Mar
cie Lawrence
The moral right of the author/illustrator has been asserted
The moral right of the author/illustrator has been asserted A CIP catalogue record
f
or this book is available from the British Library
A CIP catalogue record f
or this book is available from the British Library
ISBN
: 978–0–241–39697–1
ISBN
: 978–0–241–39697–1
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Puffin Books,
Penguin Random House Children’
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8
Viaduct Gardens,
s
Puffin Books,
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Penguin Random House Children’
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5
t
O
RYA
N
t
O
RYA
N
6

7
Thursday
A
UGUS
T
A
UGUS
T
I love my family and all, but I don’t need to spend twenty-four hours a day with
them, seven
Thursday
days a week. And that’s
EX
A
C
TL
Y
the way it’s
I love my family and all, but I don’t need to been around here la
tely.
spend twenty-four hours a day with them, seven EX
A
C
TL
days a week. And that’s It’s not just
ME
Y
the way it’s
who’s getting tired of this,
been around here la
tely.
either. We’re
ALL
going a little nuts, and if
ME
things don’t change soon I think we’re gonna go
It’s not just
who’s getting tired of this,
ALL
off the deep end.
either. We’re
going a little nuts, and if
things don’t change soon I think we’re gonna go off the deep end.
Mom says we’ve been cooped up for too long and we just need a holiday. But what we
really need is a holiday from each
O
THER
.
Mom says we’ve been cooped up for too long and
we just need a holiday. But what we really need O
THER
is a holiday from each
.
1 1
8
That’s not gonna happen anytime soon, though, because we don’t have any
MONEY
. And the
reason we don’t is kind of a long story.
That’s not gonna happen anytime soon, though, MONEY
because we don’t have any
. And the
reason we don’t is kind of a long story.
We’ve been living in Gramma’s basement for two months, and I don’t know how much
longer we can keep going like this. Mom says that one
We’ve been living in Gramma’s basement for two day we’
ll look back on this time and smile, but
months, and I don’t know how much longer we she’s not the one who has to share a
futon with
can keep going like this. Mom says that one R
ODRICK
day we’
every night.
ll look back on this time and smile, but
she’s not the one who has to share a futon with R
ODRICK
2 2
every night.
9
The crazy thing is, Gramma’s got plenty of room in her house, so I don’t understand
why our whole family has to stay in her basement. When
The crazy thing is, Gramma’s got plenty of room we first got here, I called dibs on
the guest
in her house, so I don’t understand why our room, but Gramma said it was already
taken.
whole family has to stay in her basement. When we first got here, I called dibs on
the guest room, but Gramma said it was already taken.
I don’t think Gramma’s too thrilled we’re living with her, because whenever her
friends come over she asks us to stay out of sight.
I don’t think Gramma’s too thrilled we’re living with her, because whenever her
friends come over
she asks us to stay out of sight.
3 3
10
And that’s kind of inconvenient since there isn’t a bathroom in the basement, and
her friends always stay
F
OREVER
.
And that’s kind of inconvenient since there isn’t a
bathroom in the basement, and her friends always F
OREVER
stay
.
We can’t use the kitchen when Gramma’s got guests, which means we can’t eat dinner
until after they’re gone. But last night I guess Rodrick got
We can’t use the kitchen when Gramma’s got sick of waiting, so he heated up some
leftover
guests, which means we can’t eat dinner until after pizza in Gramma’s dryer.
they’re gone. But last night I guess Rodrick got sick of waiting, so he heated up
some leftover pizza in Gramma’s dryer.
4
4
11
There’s no
TV
in Gramma’s basement, so the only
thing we’ve got to entertain ourselves with is each
O
TV
THER
. And, believe me, that’s not enough.
There’s no
in Gramma’s basement, so the only
thing we’ve got to entertain ourselves with is each O
THER
. And, believe me, that’s not enough.
Mom says being bored is good, because it makes you use your imagination. But
whenever I try it I always end up imagining the exact same thing.
Mom says being bored is good, because it makes you use your imagination. But
whenever I try it I always end up imagining the exact same thing.
5
5
12
Something that’s making the situation a lot harder is that Dad is working from home
this summer, which means he’s always around. And
Something that’s making the situation a lot whenever Dad has a meeting, the rest of
us have
harder is that Dad is working from home this to pretend we’re not there.
summer, which means he’s always around. And whenever Dad has a meeting, the rest of
us have But that’s not always easy to do, especially when
to pretend we’re not there.
you’ve got a three-year-old in the family. But that’s not always easy to do,
especially when you’ve got a three-year-old in the family.
Most of the time I just try to keep myself busy. Gramma’s got stacks of puzzles
down in the basement, and I’ve done a few of them by myself.
Most of the time I just try to keep myself But Mom always lets Manny put in the
last piece to
busy. Gramma’s got stacks of puzzles down in the make him feel important.
basement, and I’ve done a few of them by myself. But Mom always lets Manny put in
the last piece to 6
make him feel important.
6
13
If you ask me, I don’t think Mom’s doing Manny any favours by
BAB
YING
him. And it’s got a lot
worse since we started living at Gramma’s.
If you ask me, I don’t think Mom’s doing Manny BAB
any favours by
YING
him. And it’s got a lot
Sometimes, after dinner, we’
ll play a board game
worse since we started living at Gramma’s. as a family. But Manny can’t handle
complicated rules, so we always end up playing a game that
Sometimes, after dinner, we’
ll play a board game
doesn’t require any
SKILL
.
as a family. But Manny can’t handle complicated
rules, so we always end up playing a game that SKILL
doesn’t require any
.
7
7
14
We
have to go to bed before it’s even dark ou
ts
id
e,
b
eca
use
we’re all on
MANNY
’
S
schedule.
We
have to go to bed before it’s even dark MANNY
ou
ts
id
e,
b
eca
use
S
we’re all on
’
schedule.
These days, Manny’s favourite bedtime story is a Noah’s Ark picture book. It’s
about this guy who hears it’s gonna rain for a really long time, so he
These days, Manny’s favourite bedtime story is a builds a giant boat to ride out
the storm with a
Noah’s Ark picture book. It’s about this guy who bunch of animals.
hears it’s gonna rain for a really long time, so he builds a giant boat to ride out
the storm with a bunch of animals.
8
8
15
The illustrations in Manny’s book are all cartoons, and they make it look like a f
lood that wiped out
half the Earth was kind of
FU
N
.
The illustrations in Manny’s book are all cartoons, and they make it look like a f
lood that wiped out
FU
half the Earth was kind of
N .
But I guess if the drawings were more realistic, parents wouldn’t buy it for their
pre-schoolers.But I guess if the drawings were more realistic, parents wouldn’t buy
it for their pre-schoolers.
9
9
16
I’ve got some questions about the Noah’s Ark stor
y, t
houg
h. For starters, I wanna know why Noah
let
ven
omou
s creatures like snakes and
I’ve got some questions about the Noah’s Ark sc
or
pi
on
s
on
board. Because, if it was
ME
stor
y, t
houg
, I
h. For starters, I wanna know why would’ve used the opportunity to leave a few of
Noah
let
ven
omou
s creatures like snakes and
those guys
BEHIND
ME
sc
or
pi
on
s
on
.
board. Because, if it was
, I
would’ve used the opportunity to leave a few of BEHIND
those guys
.
And then I would’ve used the extra space for more of the
GOOD
animals, like puppies and
hedgehogs and those pygmy hippopotamuses.
And then I would’ve used the extra space for GOOD
more of the
animals, like puppies and
hedgehogs and those pygmy hippopotamuses.
10
10
17
Luckily, Noah didn’t have to make room on board for whales and fish, because they
would’ve taken u
p
a
TO
N
of space. And they probably didn’t even
Luckily, Noah didn’t have to make room on board know the f
lood was happening to begin with.
for whales and fish, because they would’ve taken u
p
TO
a
N
of space. And they probably didn’t even
know the f
lood was happening to begin with.
But it doesn’t make a lot of sense that Noah let
BIRDS
on
the
ark
, si
nce
they could’ve just
F
LO
W
N
. And I bet he regretted that decision
But it doesn’t make a lot of sense that Noah BIRDS
right away.
let
F
LO
on
the
ark
, si
nce
they could’ve just
W
N
. And I bet he regretted that decision right away.
11
11
18
You only hear about the animals that
SUR
VIVED
the f
lood. But sometimes I wonder if there were SUR
some cool animals that
DIDN
’
T
VIVED
make it on to the
You only hear about the animals that boat.
the f
lood. But sometimes I wonder if there were DIDN
some cool animals that
T
’
boat.
make it on to the
The way the story goes, after it rained for forty days and forty nights, it took 15
0 days for the
f
loodwater to go back down. That means Noah
The way the story goes, after it rained for forty was stuck on the boat with a
bunch of animals,
days and forty nights, it took 15
0 days for the
plus his wife and three sons.
f
loodwater to go back down. That means Noah was stuck on the boat with a bunch of
animals, And whenever I feel sorry for myself living in
plus his wife and three sons.
Gramma’s basement with my family, I think about Noah and it makes me feel a little
better.
And whenever I feel sorry for myself living in Gramma’s basement with my family, I
think about 12
Noah and it makes me feel a little better. 12
19
Mom keeps saying she’s glad we’re all together right now, because she feels like
time has slowed down. I’ve noticed that, too, but for
ME
it’s not
Mom keeps saying she’s glad we’re all together a
GOOD
thing.
right now, because she feels like time has slowed ME
down. I’ve noticed that, too, but for GOOD
it’s not
a
thing.
13 13
20
Something that’s making this summer feel really lo
ng
is that I can’t go to my friend Rowley’s house. And that’s because he’s off on some
big
Something that’s making this summer feel really European holiday with his family.
lo
ng
is that I can’t go to my friend Rowley’s house. And that’s because he’s off on some
big When Rowley first told me about his family’s
European holiday with his family.
plans, I tried to see if his parents might let me tag along. But I guess Mr and Mrs
Jefferson
When Rowley first told me about his family’s aren’t as sharp as I thought they
were, because
plans, I tried to see if his parents might let me they never picked up on any of my
hints.
tag along. But I guess Mr and Mrs Jefferson aren’t as sharp as I thought they were,
because they never picked up on any of my hints.
So now Rowley’s probably off having the time of his life while I’m doing five-
hundred-piece puzzles in my grandmother’s basement.
So now Rowley’s probably off having the time of his life while I’m doing five-
hundred-piece puzzles 14
in my grandmother’s basement.
14
21
I think Mom feels bad we can’t afford to do something special this summer, so she’s
been trying to make up for it.
I think Mom feels bad we can’t afford to do something special this summer, so she’s
been trying She says we can go anywhere we want if we just
to make up for it.
use our imaginations. But, to be honest, that’s not really doing it for me any
more.
She says we can go anywhere we want if we just use our imaginations. But, to be
honest, that’s not really doing it for me any more.
I think Mom’s finally had enough, too, because last night she called a “family
meeting” after dinner to brainstorm ideas for holidays that we can afford.
I think Mom’s finally had enough, too, because last But the problem is, everyone’s
got their
OW
N
idea
night she called a “family meeting” after dinner to of a good time.
brainstorm ideas for holidays that we can afford. OW
But the problem is, everyone’s got their of a good time.
N
idea
15
15
22
Dad wants to drive around and visit a bunch of Civil War battlefields and take part
in a re-enactment. But nobody else was crazy about
Dad wants to drive around and visit a bunch of putting on wool underwear in the
middle of August.
Civil War battlefields and take part in a re-enactment. But nobody else was crazy
about putting on wool underwear in the middle of August.
Manny wants to go to the Animal Safari, which we used to visit a lot when I was
little. But the animals in that place always seem so
SAD
, especially
Manny wants to go to the Animal Safari, which the donkey they painted to look like
a zebra.
we used to visit a lot when I was little. But the SAD
animals in that place always seem so
, especially
the donkey they painted to look like a zebra.
16
16
23
Mom said we could save money by staying close to home and visiting places in our
own community. But I’ve gone on enough school field trips to feel like
Mom said we could save money by staying close to I know this town inside and out.
home and visiting places in our own community. But I’ve gone on enough school field
trips to feel like I know this town inside and out.
The only ones who could agree on what we should do were me and Rodrick. We both
voted to go to the Thrills and Spills amusement park, which would
The only ones who could agree on what we should be
CHEAP
since Gramma got half-price coupons in
do were me and Rodrick. We both voted to go to the mail.
the Thrills and Spills amusement park, which would CHEAP
be
the mail.
since Gramma got half-price coupons in
17
17
24
Plus, they just opened a new roller coaster called Trackjumper that’s supposed to
be totally
INSA
NE
.
Plus, they just opened a new roller coaster called INSA
Trackjumper that’s supposed to be totally
NE .
Mom said the rides at Thrills and Spills are too scary for Manny, so she suggested
we go to Storybook Village, which has rides for all ages.
Mom said the rides at Thrills and Spills are too But me and Rodrick have had enough
of Little
scary for Manny, so she suggested we go to Miss Muffet’s Mild Ride for one
lifetime.
Storybook Village, which has rides for all ages. But me and Rodrick have had enough
of Little Miss Muffet’s Mild Ride for one lifetime.
18
18
25
Since my family couldn’t settle on anything, I suggested we all go on our
OWN
holidays and do
a slideshow of everyone’s trips when we get back.
Since my family couldn’t settle on anything, I OWN
suggested we all go on our
holidays and do
a slideshow of everyone’s trips when we get back.
Mom said the whole point of being on a family holiday is to do things
T
OGETHER
. She says
that one day us kids are gonna go our separate
Mom said the whole point of being on a family T
OGETHER
ways, and time’s running out to make happy
holiday is to do things memories as a
famil
y
.
. She says
that one day us kids are gonna go our separate
ways, and time’s running out to make happy famil
memories as a
y .
But, believe me, for
THIS
family to make happy
memories together, it’s gonna take a
MIRA
CLE
.
THIS
But, believe me, for
family to make happy MIRA
memories together, it’s gonna take a
CLE .
19
19
26
Monday
We finally figured out a way we could afford to go on a family holiday this summer.
Monday
We finally figured out a way we could afford to go On Saturday night my great
grandmother Gammie
on a family holiday this summer.
called Dad and asked if he could get rid of Uncle Gary’s camper van, which has been
parked in her
On Saturday night my great grandmother Gammie driveway for the past two years.
called Dad and asked if he could get rid of Uncle Gary’s camper van, which has been
parked in her driveway for the past two years.
Apparently, Uncle Gary ran off to work as a rodeo clown, and she doesn’t think he’s
coming back anytime soon.
Apparently, Uncle Gary ran off to work as a rodeo clown, and she doesn’t think he’s
coming At first Dad was
MAD
back anytime soon.
, because he’s always
cleaning up Uncle Gary’s messes. But Mom said the MAD
camper van was the solution to our holiday problems.
At first Dad was
, because he’s always
cleaning up Uncle Gary’s messes. But Mom said the 20
camper van was the solution to our holiday problems. 20
27
Mom said the reason holidays are so expensive is because staying in hotels and
eating at restaurants cost a lot of money. She said the
Mom said the reason holidays are so expensive camper van would take care of
BO
TH
those
is because staying in hotels and eating at things.
restaurants cost a lot of money. She said the BO
camper van would take care of Then
D
AD
TH
those
things.
started getting excited. He said we
could hit the open road and stop for the night D
AD
whenever we
FEL
T
Then
like it, and we could cook for started getting excited. He said we
ourselves, too.
could hit the open road and stop for the night FEL
whenever we ourselves, too.
T
like it, and we could cook for
All I know is me and my brothers were so happy for t
he ch
ance
to g
e
t
o
u
t
o
f
Gramma’s basement
that we probably wo
ul
d’
ve
ag
reed
to
ANYTHING
.
All I know is me and my brothers were so happy for t
he ch
ance
to g
e
t
o
u
t
o
f
Gramma’s basement
that we probably wo
ul
d’
ve
ag
reed
ANYTHING
to
.
21 21
28
Mom says we’
ll have a lot of adventures along the
way, and now
I
’
M
getting kind of excited about
this trip, too.
Mom says we’
ll have a lot of adventures along the
I
M
way, and now
’
this trip, too.
getting kind of excited about
In fact, I’m actually starting to feel a little bad f
o
r
R
O
WLEY
. Because, while he’s st
uc
k
in
a
boring museum on the other side of the world, I’m
In fact, I’m actually starting to feel a little R
O
gonn
WLEY
a be of
f doing something really
WILD
bad f o
r
.
. Because, while he’s st uc
k
in
a
boring museum on the other side of the world, I’m
gonn
a be of
WILD
f doing something really
22
22
.
29
For the past two days, we’ve been getting ready f
o
r
our holiday. And I’m a little worried that Mom’
s hoping to turn this into an educational trip.
For the past two days, we’ve been getting ready f
o
r
our holiday. And I’m a little worried that Mom’
s hoping to turn this into an educational trip.
But, believe me, the
LAS
T
thing I’m planning
on doing is any
LEARNING
.
LAS
But, believe me, the
T
thing I’m planning
LEARNING
on doing is any
.
23
23
30
Wednesday
This morning we went to the grocery store and stocked up on food for the trip. Then
we went to
Wednesday
the camping superstore to get everything ELSE
This morning we went to the grocery store and we’re gonna need.
stocked up on food for the trip. Then we went to ELSE
the camping superstore to get everything I was pretty excited, because we’ve never
actually
we’re gonna need.
BOUGH
T
anything at the camping store before. Dad used to take me and Rodrick there when we
I was pretty excited, because we’ve never actually BOUGH
T
were little, but that was just to kill time on a
anything at the camping store before. Saturday morning.
Dad used to take me and Rodrick there when we were little, but that was just to
kill time on a Saturday morning.
24
24
31
When we got to the store today, Dad went around and picked up some basic supplies,
like lanterns and flasks and camping chairs.
When we got to the store today, Dad went around and picked up some basic supplies,
like But I went straight to the section of the store
lanterns and flasks and camping chairs. with the high-end gear. Because I figure if
we’re really doing this thing I’m gonna want to be
But I went straight to the section of the store COMFOR
T
A
BLE
.
with the high-end gear. Because I figure if we’re really doing this thing I’m gonna
want to be COMFOR
T
A
BLE
.
I picked out an inf
latable pull-out sofa and hiking
boots with little fans built into the heels, plus a solar-powered blender that can
make a cherry
I picked out an inf
latable pull-out sofa and hiking
slushie in thirty seconds.
boots with little fans built into the heels, plus a solar-powered blender that can
make a cherry
slushie in thirty seconds.
25 25
32
Dad said those things weren’t for
SERIOUS
campers, though, and made me put them back. SERIOUS
Dad said those things weren’t for
campers, though, and made me put them back.
Dad said we’re gonna “live off the land” as m
uch
as possible on this trip, and he picked out a fe
w
fishing rods. Well, I don’t know about anyone Dad said we’re gonna “live off the
land” as m
uch
else, but the only fish I’
ll eat comes in the shape
as possible on this trip, and he picked out a fe
w
of a
S
TICK
.
fishing rods. Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but the only fish I’
ll eat comes in the shape
S
TICK
of a
.
Manny and Rodrick got really excited about the idea of catching our own food, so
they went off to find their
OWN
gear.
Manny and Rodrick got really excited about the idea of catching our own food, so
they went off to
26
OWN
find their 26
gear.
33
But Mom stopped them before they could get too carried away.
But Mom stopped them before they could get too carried away.
Rodrick was pretty disappointed. I guess he was planning on doing some trophy
hunting while we were on our
trip
,
and was hoping to decorate the
Rodrick was pretty disappointed. I guess he was kitchen when our house is finished.
planning on doing some trophy hunting while we were on our
trip
,
and was hoping to decorate the
kitchen when our house is finished.
27
27
34
After Dad was done shopping, he was ready to check out. But I think Mom was nervous
that we weren’t getting the right kind of equipment, so
After Dad was done shopping, he was ready to she asked a salesperson to look over
our stuff and
check out. But I think Mom was nervous that we see if we had everything we needed.
weren’t getting the right kind of equipment, so she asked a salesperson to look
over our stuff and see if we had everything we needed.
Well, this guy must’ve been a wilderness survival expert or something, because he
had a
LOT
to
say. And none of it made me feel confident about Well, this guy must’ve been a
wilderness survival
going on a camping trip.
LOT
expert or something, because he had a
to
say. And none of it made me feel confident about The salesman said the number-one
thing we needed
going on a camping trip.
to
worry about was
BEARS
, because there are
a
ton of them in the places we were going. But
The salesman said the number-one thing we needed BEARS
he said there were a few things we could do to to
worry about was
, because there are
protect ourselves, just in case.
a
ton of them in the places we were going. But he said there were a few things we
could do to 28
protect ourselves, just in case.
28
35
The salesman said the first thing we needed to remember was to always tie up our
trash and hang it in a tree so it would be out of reach for bears.
The salesman said the first thing we needed to Then he said if we
REALL
Y
wanted to be safe we
remember was to always tie up our trash and hang should buy a jug of wolf urine and
spray it around
it in a tree so it would be out of reach for bears. REALL
Y
our camp every night, because it scares bears off.
Then he said if we
wanted to be safe we
should buy a jug of wolf urine and spray it around our camp every night, because it
scares bears off.
I tried to imagine whose job it is to
COLLE
C
T
wolf urine, and I promised myself I’d start COLLE
C
T
getting better grades in school so it doesn’t end
I tried to imagine whose job it is to
up being
ME
.
wolf urine, and I promised myself I’d start
getting better grades in school so it doesn’t end ME
up being
.
29
29
36
The salesman said the other thing we had to worry about was bugs like mosquitoes
and ticks, so we should always put on plenty of bug spray.
The salesman said the other thing we had to worry about was bugs like mosquitoes
and ticks, I was totally on board with
T
H
AT
idea, because
so we should always put on plenty of bug spray. one time Albert Sandy told everyone
at our lunch T
H
AT
table about this kid who fell asleep outside and got
I was totally on board with sucked
D
RY
idea, because
by a mosquito. And that soun
ds like a
one time Albert Sandy told everyone at our lunch pretty bad way to go to me.
table about this kid who fell asleep outside and got D
RY
sucked
by a mosquito. And that soun ds like a
pretty bad way to go to me.
I was starting to get a little nervous when the salesman told us everything
ELSE
we needed. He
said we had to have a first-aid kit in case someone
I was starting to get a little nervous when the ELSE
got injured, and waterproof matches in case our
salesman told us everything gear got wet.
we needed. He
said we had to have a first-aid kit in case someone got injured, and waterproof
matches in case our 30
gear got wet.
30
37
Plus, we needed a compass if we got lost, a snakebite kit if someone got bitten,
and a f
lare
gun if things
REALL
Y
got
bad.
Plus, we needed a compass if we got lost, a snakebite kit if someone got bitten,
and a f
lare
REALL
gun if things
Y
got
bad.
By the time we paid, I was a little shook up. And, I have to admit, Gramma’s
basement didn’t seem so
terrible
any more.
By the time we paid, I was a little shook up.
And, I have to admit, Gramma’s basement didn’t terrible
seem so
any more.
31 31
38
I think the guy at the camping store stressed Dad out, because after we paid for
all the stuff we kind of rushed out of there. And we were
I think the guy at the camping store stressed halfway home before realizing Rodrick
was missing,
Dad out, because after we paid for all the stuff and we had to go
BA
CK
.
we kind of rushed out of there. And we were
halfway home before realizing Rodrick was missing, BA
and we had to go
CK .
After that, we drove to Gammie’s house to pick up Uncle Gary’s camper van. I guess
Dad had thought it was pretty much ready to go, but it
After that, we drove to Gammie’s house to pick was a total
MESS
inside.
up Uncle Gary’s camper van. I guess Dad had
thought it was pretty much ready to go, but it MESS
I remember Dad telling me that when Uncle Gary
was a total
inside.
got his first car he used to keep a bunch of garbage inside so no one would
S
TEA
L
it. Well,
I remember Dad telling me that when Uncle Gary I think Uncle Gary had the same idea
when it
got his first car he used to keep a bunch of S
TEA
came to his camper van.
garbage inside so no one would
L
it. Well,
I think Uncle Gary had the same idea when it 32
came to his camper van.
32
39
We spent the whole afternoon cleaning it out, and I wouldn’t have been too
surprised if we’d actually found Uncle Gary buried somewhere underneath all
We spent the whole afternoon cleaning it out, and that trash.
I wouldn’t have been too surprised if we’d actually found Uncle Gary buried
somewhere underneath all that trash.
33
33
40
Once we got the junk out of there, we were finally able to take a good look around
the camper van. I could see how Uncle Gary was able to live
Once we got the junk out of there, we were in there for two years, because it had
ever
ythi
ng
finally able to take a good look around the camper a person could
NEED
.
van. I could see how Uncle Gary was able to live in there for two years, because it
had ever
ythi
ng
NEED
There was a stove, a sink, a kitchen table and
a person could
.
a little refrigerator. Plus, there was a bathroom wi
th
a shower in it, and some extra space above t he
There was a stove, a sink, a kitchen table and cabin for sleeping.
a little refrigerator. Plus, there was a bathroom wi
th
a shower in it, and some extra space above t
he
cabin for sleeping.
We scrubbed everything down, but each time we thought we were finished cleaning
we’d find something else Uncle Gary had left behind.
We scrubbed everything down, but each time we thought we were finished cleaning
we’d find 34
something else Uncle Gary had left behind. 34
41
And I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but I seriously hope Uncle Gary has bought
new underwear since he moved out.
And I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but I seriously hope Uncle Gary has bought
new underwear since he moved out.
After Gammie gave us some sandwiches to take with us, we hit the road.
After Gammie gave us some sandwiches to take with us, we hit the road.
35
35
42
When we started off, Dad was
SUPER
excited
about the camper van. He said since he could work SUPER
anywhere he wanted now, we could live on the
When we started off, Dad was
excited
road until our house was finished, and maybe even
about the camper van. He said since he could work L
ONGER
.
anywhere he wanted now, we could live on the
road until our house was finished, and maybe even L
ONGER
Then Mom chimed in. She said we could travel
.
around the country and record our adventures, then become one of those families who
gets famous
Then Mom chimed in. She said we could travel on the Internet.
around the country and record our adventures, then become one of those families who
gets famous on the Internet.
I was actually starting to get into the whole camper lifestyle, too.
I was actually starting to get into the whole 36
camper lifestyle, too.
36
43
Mostly I just thought it was cool that I could use the toilet while we were
cruising down the highway.
Mostly I just thought it was cool that I could use the toilet while we were
cruising down the highway.
The only thing I didn’t like about Uncle Gary’s camper van was that it didn’t have
seat belts in the living area, which was a problem whenever Dad
The only thing I didn’t like about Uncle Gary’s hit the brakes.
camper van was that it didn’t have seat belts in the living area, which was a
problem whenever Dad hit the brakes.
37
37
44
When traffic slowed down, Mom let Manny sit in the front seat so he could feel like
he was “driving”. But I think she realized it was a
When traffic slowed down, Mom let Manny sit mistake when he started laying into the
horn.
in the front seat so he could feel like he was “driving”. But I think she realized
it was a mistake when he started laying into the horn.
It was cool being out on the open road and all, but after a while everything
started to kind of look the same. So me and Rodrick went on our
It was cool being out on the open road and all, gadgets to pass the time.
but after a while everything started to kind of look the same. So me and Rodrick
went on our After an hour or so, Mom said we’d had enough
gadgets to pass the time.
screen time for the day and we needed to be off our electronics.
After an hour or so, Mom said we’d had enough screen time for the day and we needed
to be off 38
our electronics.
38
45
Usually when Mom tells us we’ve had en ou
gh
s
cr
ee
n
time, we’
ll take a break. But as soon as s
he s
tops
paying attention we’
ll get right back on. And
Usually when Mom tells us we’ve had en ou
gh
s
cr
ee
n
after a while she’
time, we’
ll get tired of fighting us and
ll take a break. But as soon as s
he s
tops
just give up, which is what we thought would paying attention we’
ll get right back on. And
happen today.
after a while she’
ll get tired of fighting us and
just give up, which is what we thought would happen today.
It turned out Mom wasn’t messing around on this trip. When we got back on our
devices, she put them in a clear plastic box that had a timer on top.
It turned out Mom wasn’t messing around on this trip. When we got back on our
devices, she put them in a clear plastic box that had a timer on top.
39
39
46
The second I saw that thing I knew what it was, because I’d seen the ads in one of
Mom’s parenting magazines.
The second I saw that thing I knew what it was, because I’d seen the ads in one of
Mom’s parenting magazines.
Mo
m
se
t
th
e
ti
me
r
for two hours, then went back
to
he
r s
ea
t i
n t
he
front. Whoever
made that
thing knew what they were doing, because me Mo
m
se
t
th
e
ti
me
r
for two hours, then went back
and
Rodr
ick
coul
dn’t
to
he
r s
ea
t i
n t
he
figure out how to crack it.
front. Whoever
made that
thing knew what they were doing, because me 40
and
Rodr
ick
coul
dn’t
figure out how to crack it.
40
47
Mom handed us some activities she’d created for the trip and said they should keep
us busy for a while. But it wasn’t that much fun playing Wildlife Bingo
Mom handed us some activities she’d created for the when we couldn’t even identify
half the animals we
trip and said they should keep us busy for a while. saw along the side of the road.
But it wasn’t that much fun playing Wildlife Bingo when we couldn’t even identify
half the animals we saw along the side of the road.
After another hour or two of driving, Mom and Dad started looking for places to
stop.After another hour or two of driving, Mom and
Dad started looking for places to stop.
41 41
48
There were some signs for “scenic attractions”, so Dad pulled over at the exit for
a place called Culpepper’s Ravine.
There were some signs for “scenic attractions”, so Dad pulled over at the exit for
a place called Mom got all excited because she said we were like
Culpepper’s Ravine.
explorers who were about to see something new. But unfortunately some
O
THER
explorers beat us
Mom got all excited because she said we were like to it.
explorers who were about to see something new. O
But unfortunately some to it.
THER
explorers beat us
We couldn’t find any parking, so we had to move along. And it was the exact same
story for the next three places we tried to stop.
We couldn’t find any parking, so we had to move along. And it was the exact same
story for the 42
next three places we tried to stop.
42
49
I know I should feel lucky to be alive at a time when there’s modern medicine and
smartwatches and peanut-butter-filled pretzels. But sometimes
I know I should feel lucky to be alive at a time I wish I was born a little
SOONER
so I had a
when there’s modern medicine and smartwatches chance to actually
DISC
O
VER
something.
and peanut-butter-filled pretzels. But sometimes SOONER
I wish I was born a little DISC
O
VER
so I had a
Because when you find something new they
chance to actually it after you.
NAME
something.
NAME
Because when you find something new they it after you.
But by now everything worth finding has already been discovered.
But by now everything worth finding has already
been discovered.
43 43
50
And you wouldn’t really want your name on any of the stuff that’s left over.
And you wouldn’t really want your name on any of the stuff that’s left over.
One time the planetarium in our town had a fu
nd
ra
is
er
,
an
d
if you paid ten bucks you’d get
a
ce
rt
if
ic
at
e
th
at
said a planet in some faraway
One time the planetarium in our town had a galaxy was named after you. So Mom paid
the ten
fu
nd
ra
is
er
,
an
d
if you paid ten bucks you’d get
bu
ck
s,
an
d I
st
il
l have the certificate
a
ce
rt
if
ic
at
e
th
at
hanging on
said a planet in some faraway
the wall in my bedroom.
galaxy was named after you. So Mom paid the ten bu
ck
s,
an
d I
st
il
l have the certificate
hanging on
the wall in my bedroom.
44
44
51
But when Mom filled out the form I wish she’d put my first
AND
last name on it. Because now
some random Greg could get to my planet before
But when Mom filled out the form I wish she’d AND
I do and say it’s
HIS
put my first
.
last name on it. Because now
some random Greg could get to my planet before HIS
I do and say it’s
.
Dad said our mistake was that we were going to places everyone knew about, and if
we got off the main road we might find something
Dad said our mistake was that we were going SPE
CIAL
.
to places everyone knew about, and if we got
off the main road we might find something SPE
CIAL
So we took a detour and kept our eyes peeled
.
for anything that looked like it was worth stopping for.
So we took a detour and kept our eyes peeled for anything that looked like it was
worth
stopping for.
45 45
52
And, sure enough, after we took a few more turns, we found a crystal-clear lake
with nobody else in
SIGHT
.
And, sure enough, after we took a few more
turns, we found a crystal-clear lake with nobody SIGHT
else in
.
The air-conditioning in Uncle Gary’s camper van wasn’t working, and everyone was
ready to cool off. So we got into our swimming gear and took a
The air-conditioning in Uncle Gary’s camper van dip in the lake.
wasn’t working, and everyone was ready to cool off. So we got into our swimming
gear and took a dip in the lake.
46
46
46
46
53
It took a second before I realized something wasn’t
RIGHT
. I noticed a million shimmering
objects just beneath the surface, and my mind
It took a second before I realized something RIGHT
went right to
PIRANHA
S
wasn’t everyone
. I’m pretty sure
. I noticed a million shimmering
ELSE
’
S
did, too.
objects just beneath the surface, and my mind PIRANHA
went right to ELSE
S
. I’m pretty sure
everyone
S
’
did, too.
I was almost at the shore when I felt a bunch of tiny mouths
NIB
BLING
me.
I was almost at the shore when I felt a bunch NIB
of tiny mouths
BLING
me.
47
47
54
I thought I was being eaten
ALIVE
. And
by the time I made it out of the water I was
surprised to be in one piece.
ALIVE
I thought I was being eaten
. And
by the time I made it out of the water I was Or
ALMO
S
T
in one piece. I had a scab on my
surprised to be in one piece.
knee when I got into the water, but by the time ALMO
S
T
I got out it was totally picked
CLEAN
Or
.
in one piece. I had a scab on my
knee when I got into the water, but by the time CLEAN
I got out it was totally picked
.
Just then a truck pulled up, and the two guys inside looked
angry
.
Just then a truck pulled up, and the two guys angry
inside looked
48
48
.
55
That’s when we found out the lake we were swimming in was a
FIS
H
HA
T
CHER
Y
.
That’s when we found out the lake we were FIS
H
HA
T
CHER
swimming in was a
Y .
I think those guys were about to call the cops on us for
TRE
SP
ASSING
, and we didn’t wanna
stick around to find out. So we piled into the
I think those guys were about to call the cops TRE
SP
ASSING
camper van and Dad stepped on the gas.
on us for
, and we didn’t wanna
stick around to find out. So we piled into the camper van and Dad stepped on the
gas.
49
49
56
The next time Mom makes fish for dinner, I’m definitely gonna check the package to
see where they came from first.
The next time Mom makes fish for dinner, I’m definitely gonna check the package to
see where The crazy thing is, the fish hatchery wasn’t the
they came from first.
LAS
T
place we got chased away from today. We tried parking the camper van in a meadow so
we
The crazy thing is, the fish hatchery wasn’t the LAS
T
could get out and enjoy the view while we ate, but
place we got chased away from today. We it turned out to be somebody’s
F
ARM
.
tried parking the camper van in a meadow so we
could get out and enjoy the view while we ate, but F
ARM
it turned out to be somebody’s
.
We finally found a field that didn’t look like it belonged to anyone, so that’s
where we stopped for the night.
We finally found a field that didn’t look like it belonged to anyone, so that’s
where we stopped 50
for the night.
50
57
The sleeping situation wasn’t great. The kitchen table converted into a
BED
, which is where Mom
and Dad slept.
The sleeping situation wasn’t great. The kitchen BED
table converted into a and Dad slept.
, which is where Mom
I wasn’t crazy about the idea of eating breakfast off the spot where Dad slept in
his boxer shorts. I wasn’t crazy about the idea of eating breakfast I had to share
the loft above the cabin
with
off the spot where Dad slept in his boxer shorts. Rodrick, which wasn’t much of an
improvement on our deal in Gramma’s basement.
I had to share the loft above the cabin
with
Rodrick, which wasn’t much of an improvement on our deal in Gramma’s basement.
51
51
58
The only person who had any space to himself was Mann
y. He’d turned one of the cabinets in the kitchenette into a little apartment, and
his set-up
The only person who had any space to himself was was actually pretty
SWEET
Mann
.
y. He’d turned one of the cabinets in the
kitchenette into a little apartment, and his set-up SWEET
was actually pretty
.
While Mom and Dad were getting ready for bed, I found out a m
a
jor downside of the camper van.
The bathroom walls were paper thin, and with
While Mom and Dad were getting ready for bed, the engine off you could hear
EVER
I found out a m a
YTHING
jor downside of the camper van.
happening in there. And, trust me, no kid wants
The bathroom walls were paper thin, and with EVER
YTHING
to hear his mother’s bathroom noises.
the engine off you could hear
happening in there. And, trust me, no kid wants to hear his mother’s bathroom
noises.
52
52
59
Thursday
It turns out the place we stopped for the night was a public park. Little League
practice started
Thursday
first thing in the morning, and we were parked
It turns out the place we stopped for the night right over the pitcher’s mound.
was a public park. Little League practice started first thing in the morning, and
we were parked right over the pitcher’s mound.
Luckily, we were able to take off before s o
m
e
k
i
d
broke a tail light with a direct hit.
Luckily, we were able to take off before s o
m
e
k
i
d
Mom said she didn’t want a repeat of yesterday
broke a tail light with a direct hit.
and asked everyone to think of something we could do that was guaranteed
FUN
. And that’s when
Mom said she didn’t want a repeat of yesterday I remembered a billboard I saw the
day before.
and asked everyone to think of something we could FUN
do that was guaranteed
. And that’s when
I remembered a billboard I saw the day before. 53
53
60
The billboard was for this place called the Fa mi
ly
Adventure Centre. Usually, whenever the wo
rd
“family” is part of something, it’s a warning to The billboard was for this place
called the Fa mi
ly
stay away. But the pictures on the sign made me Adventure Centre. Usually, whenever
the wo
rd
think this place could be
DIFFERENT
.
“family” is part of something, it’s a warning to
stay away. But the pictures on the sign made me DIFFERENT
think this place could be
.
We had to backtrack about two hours to find the adventure centre, but it didn’t
really matter since we weren’t really headed anywhere to begin with.
We had to backtrack about two hours to find the adventure centre, but it didn’t
really matter since I have to say, this place was pretty cool. There
we weren’t really headed anywhere to begin with. were a million activities, and I
wanted to do them AL
L
.
I have to say, this place was pretty cool. There
were a million activities, and I wanted to do them AL
L
54
.
54
61
But everything had an age and height requirement, and Manny wasn’t tall enough to
do any
GOOD
activities.
But everything had an age and height requirement, GOOD
and Manny wasn’t tall enough to do any activities.
The only activity Manny was big enou
gh f
or w
as
the Fun F
loat, where you drifted down the river in inner tubes. So that’s what Mom signed us
up for.
The only activity Manny was big enou
gh f
or w
as
the Fun F
loat, where you drifted down the river in inner tubes. So that’s what Mom signed us
up for.
55
55
62
I really wanted to do something more exciting, like rock climbing, but Mom was dead
set
on
us a
ll
doing something as a family.
I really wanted to do something more exciting, like rock climbing, but Mom was dead
set
on
us a
ll
Mom said the Fun Float would be
RELAXING
doing something as a family.
,
and after we put on our life jackets we grabbed RELAXING
the cooler and a few other things from the
Mom said the Fun Float would be camper van to take with us on the river.
,
and after we put on our life jackets we grabbed the cooler and a few other things
from the camper van to take with us on the river.
After our experience with the fish farm yesterday, I wasn’t crazy about getting
into the water ag
ai
n.
But there were a bunch of other people
After our experience with the fish farm yesterday, doing the Fun Float, too, and I
figured if there
I wasn’t crazy about getting into the water were any piranhas in the river they’d
go for
ag
ai
n.
THEM
But there were a bunch of other people
before they’d go for
ME
.
doing the Fun Float, too, and I figured if there THEM
were any piranhas in the river they’d go for
56
ME
before they’d go for 56
.
63
I have to admit that once we got going it WA
S
kind of relaxing. Maybe even a little
TO
O
relaxing. Rodrick fell asleep, while Dad answered
I have to admit that once we got going it WA
S
TO O
work emails and Mom checked in with Manny’s
kind of relaxing. Maybe even a little
doctor.
relaxing. Rodrick fell asleep, while Dad answered work emails and Mom checked in
with Manny’s doctor.
57
57
64
So no one was really paying attention when we hi
t
a shallow part in the river and came to a complete
STOP
. We had to take our tubes out
So no one was really paying attention when we of the water, and it wasn’t fun
walking across a
hi
t
a shallow part in the river and came to a STOP
bunch of sharp rocks in our bare feet.
complete
. We had to take our tubes out
of the water, and it wasn’t fun walking across a bunch of sharp rocks in our bare
feet.
Once the river got deeper, we put the tubes back in the water. But my inner tube
must’ve got punctured in the shallow part, be
caus
e it
was
los
Once the river got deeper, we put the tubes
ing
air. So I took Manny’s tube, and we emptied the
back in the water. But my inner tube must’ve got ice out of the cooler so he could
use
THA
T
.
punctured in the shallow part, be caus
e it
was
los
ing
air. So I took Manny’s tube, and we emptied the THA
ice out of the cooler so he could use
58
58
T .
65
I thought the trip was gonna take twenty minutes, but it had already been two
HOURS
,
with no end in sight. And we really slowed down
I thought the trip was gonna take twenty HOURS
when we got stuck behind a big group of people
minutes, but it had already been two jamming up the river.
,
with no end in sight. And we really slowed down when we got stuck behind a big
group of people jamming up the river.
I hit a warm spot in the water, and I’ve been in enough baby pools to know what
THA
T
meant. So
when the river got wider I paddled my tube arou nd
I hit a warm spot in the water, and I’ve been in THA
T
those guys to try to get out of their wake.
enough baby pools to know what
meant. So
when the river got wider I paddled my tube arou
nd
those guys to try to get out of their wake.
59
59
66
Unfortunately, I went a little too far and ended up in a part of the river where
the water was really
rough
. And a few seconds later I got
Unfortunately, I went a little too far and ended tossed from my inner tube.
up in a part of the river where the water was rough
really
. And a few seconds later I got
tossed from my inner tube.
It was actually pretty
SCAR
Y
. The water was
moving fast, so I pointed my feet downstream to SCAR
ma
ke
Y
sure I didn’t crack my head open on a rock.
It was actually pretty
. The water was
moving fast, so I pointed my feet downstream to ma
ke
sure I didn’t crack my head open on a rock.
I called out for
HELP
, but the people around me
had their music up too loud to even notice.HELP
I called out for 60
, but the people around me
had their music up too loud to even notice. 60
67
My family tried to save me, but it turns out they’re totally useless in an
emergency.
My family tried to save me, but it turns out they’re totally useless in an
emergency.
61
61
68
Up ahead, people were pulling their inner tubes out of the river in the landing
area, so I tried to paddle myself over there.
Up ahead, people were pulling their inner tubes out of the river in the landing
area, so I tried to paddle myself over there.
But the water was moving too fast, and I was getting pulled downstream. My family
got out of the river, and Dad was yelling and pointing
But the water was moving too fast, and I was at something near me. That’s when I
saw a
getting pulled downstream. My family got out big branch hanging out over the water,
and I
of the river, and Dad was yelling and pointing grabbed it.
at something near me. That’s when I saw a big branch hanging out over the water,
and I grabbed it.
62
62
69
For a second I thought everything was going to be OK
. Then I noticed something drifting away from me and realized it was my
swimming shorts
.
For a second I thought everything was going to be OK
. Then I noticed something drifting away from swimming shorts
me and realized it was my
.
A lifeguard from the adventure centre started
wading out towards me with a float. And I knew if I just kept hanging on to that
branch she’d
A lifeguard from the adventure centre started RESCUE
me.
wading out towards me with a float. And I knew
if I just kept hanging on to that branch she’d RESCUE
me.
But all I could think of were the people in the landing area who were about to see
me without my swimming shorts. And Rodrick was already
But all I could think of were the people in the recording me with his phone.
landing area who were about to see me without my swimming shorts. And Rodrick was
already
recording me with his phone.
63 63
70
So I decided the best move was to let GO
and
take my chances.
GO
So I decided the best move was to let take my chances.
and
Luckily, the water wasn’t as rocky downstream, but it was still moving fast. By the
time I was able to drag myself on to the shore, I must’ve
Luckily, the water wasn’t as rocky downstream, been a quarter of a mile from the
landing area.
but it was still moving fast. By the time I was And I never did find my swimming
shorts, but
able to drag myself on to the shore, I must’ve thankfully I found the
COOLER
.
been a quarter of a mile from the landing area.
And I never did find my swimming shorts, but COOLER
thankfully I found the
64
64
.
71
Friday
Last night everyone in my family agreed that our trip was off to a pretty terrible
start. But we
Friday
couldn’t decide what to do
NEXT
.
Last night everyone in my family agreed that our
trip was off to a pretty terrible start. But we NEXT
I thought we should just admit this trip was a
couldn’t decide what to do MIS
T
AKE
.
and go back to Gramma’s. But Dad
said we couldn’t turn round now because we hadn’t
I thought we should just admit this trip was a MIS
T
AKE
done any actual
CAMPING
yet.
and go back to Gramma’s. But Dad
said we couldn’t turn round now because we hadn’t CAMPING
Dad said there was a national forest a few hours
done any actual
yet.
away, and if we camped there we could stay in on
e
place for the rest of the trip and relax for a
Dad said there was a national forest a few hours change.
away, and if we camped there we could stay in on
e
place for the rest of the trip and relax for a change.
65
65
72
I wasn’t crazy about going off on our own, but I knew how the rest of the summer
was gonna play out if we went back to Gramma’s basement now.
I wasn’t crazy about going off on our own, but I knew how the rest of the summer
was gonna play out if we went back to Gramma’s basement now.
I didn’t feel great about camping in the wi ld
er
ne
ss
,
but Dad said, if we got into any trouble, there were rangers who could help us out.
And that made
I didn’t feel great about camping in the wi ld
er
ne
ss
,
me feel a little better.
but Dad said, if we got into any trouble, there were rangers who could help us out.
And that made So we spent the night in the car park of the
me feel a little better.
adventure centre, and first thing in the morning we headed for the national forest.
So we spent the night in the car park of the adventure centre, and first thing in
the morning 66
we headed for the national forest.
66
73
The ranger at the entrance told us it hadn’t rained in a few weeks, so the risk of
fire was really high
.
Then she gave Dad a map and a pamphlet
The ranger at the entrance told us it hadn’t with tips on how to camp responsibly.
rained in a few weeks, so the risk of fire was really .
high
Then she gave Dad a map and a pamphlet with tips on how to camp responsibly.
The forest was big, so it took a while for us to get to our pitch. And we didn’t
see a single human being on our way in.
The forest was big, so it took a while for us to get to our pitch. And we didn’t
see a single human The pitch was actually really nice. There was a
being on our way in.
lot of space for the camper van, and we were right next to a little stream. After
we set up our
The pitch was actually really nice. There was a ha
mm
oc
k
an
d
ch
ai
rs
, we kicked back and enjoyed
lot of space for the camper van, and we were being out in na
tur
e.
right next to a little stream. After we set up our ha
mm
oc
k
an
d
ch
ai
rs
, we kicked back and enjoyed
being out in na
tur
e.
67 67
74
At least
MOS
T
of us did. After a few minutes,
Mom asked what our “plan” was, and Dad said this MOS
WA S
T
the plan.
At least
of us did. After a few minutes,
Mom asked what our “plan” was, and Dad said this WA
S
the plan.
Mom said we couldn’t just sit around all day, and we needed to do something
A
C
TIVE
like go on a
nature hike or something.
Mom said we couldn’t just sit around all day, and A
C
we needed to do something
TIVE
like go on a
But that sounded like a lot of work to us guys,
nature hike or something.
especially after a long drive. So Mom said if we were all gonna laze around she was
gonna put our
But that sounded like a lot of work to us guys, electronics in the Vault for the
rest of the trip.
especially after a long drive. So Mom said if we And that was enough to get us
moving.
were all gonna laze around she was gonna put our electronics in the Vault for the
rest of the trip. 68
And that was enough to get us moving. 68
75
Mom pulled out the map and found a trail that was nearby. And before we headed off
on the hike, she told everyone to fill up our flasks and
Mom pulled out the map and found a trail that put on bug spray. But I was a lot
more worried
was nearby. And before we headed off on the about
BEARS
than bugs.
hike, she told everyone to fill up our flasks and
put on bug spray. But I was a lot more worried BEARS
I remembered that the guy at the camping store
about
than bugs.
said if you saw a bear out in nature the best thing you could do was make noise to
scare it away.
I remembered that the guy at the camping store said if you saw a bear out in nature
the best thing Luckily, Uncle Gary left some pots and pans
you could do was make noise to scare it away. under the sink in the camper van. But
I wasn’t gonna wait until we
SPO
TTED
a bear to start
Luckily, Uncle Gary left some pots and pans making a racket.
under the sink in the camper van. But I wasn’t SPO
gonna wait until we making a racket.
TTED
a bear to start
69
69
76
Everyone got annoyed with me pretty quick, and Mom told me I needed to take the
cookware back to the camper van.
Everyone got annoyed with me pretty quick, and Mom told me I needed to take the
cookware back to the camper van.
She said I could catch up with them further down the
trai
l, a
nd I was actually fine with t
ha
t,
because that stuff was pretty heavy, anyway. P lu
s,
She said I could catch up with them further down I
wa
s
star
ting
the
trai
l, a
to wonder if the noise might
nd I was actually fine with t
ha
t,
actually
A
TTRA
C
T
bears, because whenever I
because that stuff was pretty heavy, anyway. P lu
s,
hear pots and pans I’m thinking
DINNER
I
wa
s
star
ting
.
to wonder if the noise might A
TTRA C
actually
T
bears, because whenever I DINNER
After I put the cookware back in the camper
hear pots and pans I’m thinking
.
van, I turned round and got back on the trail. I thought if I hurried it might take
me ten
After I put the cookware back in the camper minutes to reconnect with everyone. But
then I
van, I turned round and got back on the trail. ran into a
PR
OBLEM
.
I thought if I hurried it might take me ten
minutes to reconnect with everyone. But then I PR
70
ran into a 70
OBLEM .
77
The trail
SPLIT
, and I didn’t know which way
my family went.
SPLIT
The trail
, and I didn’t know which way
my family went.
I figured the odds were 50-50, so I headed LEFT
. But I walked for a long time without finding them and figured I must’ve picked
the
I figured the odds were 50-50, so I headed LEFT
wrong path. So I went back to the place where
. But I walked for a long time without the fork in the trail was, and that’s where
I hit
finding them and figured I must’ve picked the ANO
T
HER
snag.
wrong path. So I went back to the place where
the fork in the trail was, and that’s where I hit ANO
T
HER
I was all turned round and couldn’t remember
snag.
which path was the one I hadn’t taken yet and which one led back to the camper van.
And I
I was all turned round and couldn’t remember couldn’t tell which was which because,
to me, every
which path was the one I hadn’t taken yet and tree and rock looked the
S
AME
.
which one led back to the camper van. And I
couldn’t tell which was which because, to me, every S
tree and rock looked the
AME .
71 71
78
That’s when I started to get
W
ORRIED
. I
remembered the guy at the camping store saying W
ORRIED
that sometimes bears will use human trails because
That’s when I started to get
. I
it’s easier than walking through the brush. So I
remembered the guy at the camping store saying really didn’t feel good about
hanging out in the
that sometimes bears will use human trails because middle of an
INTERSE
C
TION
.
it’s easier than walking through the brush. So I
really didn’t feel good about hanging out in the INTERSE
C
TION
I’ve read that a bear’s sense of smell is a thousand
middle of an
.
times better than a human’s. So, when I pulled I’ve read that a bear’s sense of
smell is a thousand
out the container of l
ip balm I had in my pocket,
I practically started hyperventilating.
times better than a human’s. So, when I pulled out the container of l
ip balm I had in my pocket,
I practically started hyperventilating.
I decided to get off the trail, which turned out to be a dumb move. Because once I
was off the path I couldn’t find my way
BA
CK
.
I decided to get off the trail, which turned out
to be a dumb move. Because once I was off the BA
CK
My mind started racing, and I thought ab
path I couldn’t find my way
.
out
what would happen if I was lost for GOOD
.
My mind started racing, and I thought ab out
72
GOOD
what would happen if I was lost for 72
.
79
I’ve read stories about human beings who got cut off from civilization and were
raised by
W
OL
VES
.
I didn’t know if there were any wolves in this
I’ve read stories about human beings who got cut W
OL
forest, but there were plenty of
VES
squirrels
off from civilization and were raised by
. .
I didn’t know if there were any wolves in this squirrels
forest, but there were plenty of
.
Luckily, my family found me before things could get too crazy. Because in another
hour or two I might’ve been too far gone.
Luckily, my family found me before things could get too crazy. Because in another
hour or two I might’ve been too far gone.
73
73
80