WWW Wikihow Com Empathize

How to Empathize
Co-authored by Annie Lin, MBA and Glenn Carreau

Last Updated: November 16, 2022 References
Do you want to be more empathetic towards friends, family, loved ones, and even strangers in
your daily life? It's a noble goal! Some people find it tough to empathize with others, but it's never
too late to start practicing. Keep reading to learn about empathy, why it's so important, and how
you can begin empathizing on a regular basis.
Things You Should Know
Empathy is critical to social interactions because it allows you to understand and connect with
others.
Look at the world through other perspectives to feel empathy for the people around you.
Actively listen, collect stories, and ask lots of questions.
Show compassion to everyone you meet. Acknowledge their feelings and offer encouraging
words while also sharing information about yourself.
What is empathy?
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1. Empathy means understanding and feeling other people's emotions.
When you empathize with someone, you put yourself in their position so you can relate to them
better, show them compassion, and do your best to help them. You can empathize with anyone,
whether it's a partner or the stranger serving your coffee at a local cafe. There are 2 main types
of empathy:[1]
Affective (or emotional) empathy enables you to feel and mirror someone else's emotions.
Cognitive empathy allows you to recognize another person's mental state and better
understand their perspective.
2. Empathy is different from sympathy.
Sympathy refers to showing sorrow or pity for someone else, whereas empathy is the ability to
understand and actively share someone else's feelings. Sympathy isn't as helpful when you
want to forge a real connection with someone because it doesn't involve seeing things from their
perspective—whereas empathy does.[2]
Becoming More Empathetic
1. Listen to other people and give them your full focus.

Practice active listening when you talk to other people, and begin conversations with the
intention of learning from them. Don't interrupt or spend the whole conversation distracted
crafting your responses. It's important to stay in the moment and genuinely listen if you want to
empathize and relate to someone.[3]
Maintain eye contact with the other person and fully face them while they talk. Smile and
nod so they know you're engaged with the conversation.
Offer a few short verbal affirmations to show them you're listening. Say things like, "Mmhm,"
"Go on!" or "I understand." Be careful not to speak over the other person—wait for a pause
before talking.
2. Imagine yourself in someone else's shoes.
The best way to understand someone else's perspective is to pretend you're them for a moment.
When listening to someone, consider their life and the problems they face. Then, think about
how you might feel if you were in their position. What would you do? What emotions would you
have? In time, you'll start feeling what the other person is feeling.[4]
If someone gets upset over something you said, for example, stop and think about it. Is
there an aspect of their background that explains why they're mad? Would you be upset if
someone said that to you?
When you feel the other person's emotions like they're your own, it's easier to understand
and relate to them.
3. Acknowledge the other person's feelings and offer emotional support.
When someone confides their feelings to you, they usually seek validation and compassion.
Think about how they must feel and then verbally acknowledge those feelings. Follow up by
showing concern and support; ask them how they're doing or if there's anything you can do to
help.[5]
A good verbal acknowledgment could be, "I'm sorry you're going through this," or "That
sounds really challenging!" React based on what they tell you, and show them you
understand how they feel.
Show interest by saying something like, "How are you feeling?" or "What has that been like
for you?" If they describe a problem, you could add, "Can I help?" or "Let me know if there's
anything I can do!"
Offer support and encouragement. You could say, "I'm so proud of you, and I'm here for you
no matter what," or "I'm happy to listen to you anytime. What do you need right now?"
4. Be fair and nonjudgmental.
Keeping an open mind will help you empathize with people! Maintain a nonjudgmental attitude in
your daily interactions and do your best to consider where other people are coming from. When
you approach them with no judgment, you’ll feel more open to hearing their perspective (even if
you decide you don’t agree with it).[6]
If you feel like you don’t want to be around someone or you don’t like them, ask yourself
why. Get to know them a bit more and put yourself in their shoes. Empathy will help you
connect and relate to them.
Remember that even if you don't agree with someone, you can still empathize. And after
getting to know them better, you might find reasons to change your mind about the person.
It's normal to slip up every now and again. Press pause if you start thinking about a
disagreement or feeling critical about someone's choices. Return your attention to them and
focus solely on listening.
5. Embrace your curiosity about others and ask questions.
When talking to people you know, ask questions to show them you're listening and better
understand them. However, starting conversations with people you don't know is also important!
Ask them questions to better understand their identity and learn about an unfamiliar culture or
lifestyle.[7]
Talk to strangers. If you sit next to someone on a bus, start a conversation instead of
reading a book!
Try getting to know a neighbor or colleague you see often but rarely speak to.
Social media is also handy for getting to know new and unfamiliar people. Follow a wide
range of individuals with different backgrounds from yours on social media to get a sense of
what their daily life is like.
6. Reflect on your own emotions to better understand them.
Are you tuned in to your feelings? Do you know when you feel happy, sad, angry, or afraid? To
understand someone else's emotions, you must first understand your own. Start expressing your
emotions rather than repressing or ignoring them.[8] Take time daily to reflect on your feelings
and work through negative emotions so you can move past them.
Pay special attention to body signals that indicate how you feel. For example, a knot in your
stomach is a sign of nervousness. If your body is tense and your jaw is clenched, you could
be stressed or frustrated.
Your thoughts can also tell you how you’re feeling. For instance, if you’re thinking, “That’s
not fair,” you might feel angry or upset. If you think, “This could be fun!” you’re likely excited
or hopeful.
Find a healthy outlet for negative emotions like anger and sadness, even if you just need to
cry for a while. Try writing in a journal and talk to a trusted confidante as well.
It's more fun to distract yourself with TV or games than think about sad things, but that
prevents you from understanding your own emotions—or expressing them to someone else.
7. Be emotionally vulnerable and share your feelings in return.

Vulnerability isn't a sign of weakness; it's an act of courage that allows others to know and
accept you fully. Get in the habit of telling your loved ones and friends how you really feel
instead of brushing away your own feelings by saying, "I'm fine." Then, start vocalizing your
needs. Tell them when you need help, support, or a sympathetic ear.[9]
For example, you could say, "I'm feeling a little upset over something that happened at work.
Could we talk about it? I'd like to get someone else's perspective on this."
Take it one step at a time. You don't have to open all the floodgates at once. Ease into
vulnerability by asking your partner for a small, easy favor or telling your friend one
emotional detail about your day.
8. Expose yourself to new perspectives through books and stories.

Absorbing different novels, films, shows, games, and other media is an excellent way to develop
empathy. Fiction and nonfiction stories improve your ability to empathize by encouraging you to
imagine what life would be like if you were someone else. As a result, you'll be more emotionally
open to other people, too![10]
9. Look for similarities between you and other people, not differences.
It's easy to label people before you really know them based on your differences. Instead, find
commonalities with people with differing backgrounds—whether it's a hobby, shared values, or
even a favorite book. Pay attention to their unique qualities to get a better understanding of who
they are![11]
You don't have to have a similar background to someone else to feel empathy for them.
Being empathetic is about experiencing what someone else is feeling. It doesn't have to be
something you've felt before.
Understand that everyone has biases that are subconsciously learned, but you can actively
work to correct them. Identify and challenge your prejudices as you get to know people from
all walks of life.
10. Work on a project or with a group that helps other people.
Identify a cause you're passionate about and find out how to get involved, whether you join an
organization, volunteer, or simply gather with people who have shared experiences. Develop
empathy on a larger scale by working with others towards a common goal, inspiring social
change and action among your peers.[12]
For example, volunteer at your local animal shelter, a nursing home, or a soup kitchen. Join
a local committee or do political activism.
Start a book club for people who really like science fiction or create a support group for
anyone dealing with loss and grief.
Volunteering for a meaningful cause will help you empathize with the people you're helping
and those around you.
Why is empathy important?
1. Empathy improves your relationships with other people.
When you can listen to people without judgment and show them compassion, your friends,
family, and loved ones will be eager to confide in you. Empathy also motivates you to help others
wherever you can, from giving back to the community to offering your friend a shoulder to cry on.
You'll be a more social person and a supportive friend or partner.[13]
2. It can help you make wiser decisions in social interactions.

When you can empathize with someone, you'll be able to pick up on their emotions and figure
out the best way to approach them. In short, you'll raise your emotional intelligence—which is
your ability to be aware of emotions and handle interpersonal relationships.[14]
For example, if your friend seems tired and stressed, you might suggest a casual, relaxing
movie night rather than a loud and boisterous group outing at the bar.
3. Empathy prevents and minimizes interpersonal conflict.
When you empathize with someone, you're less likely to be cruel or argumentative—even if you
disagree. Empathy allows you to understand their perspective and imagine their life like it's your
life. That makes settling conflicts amicably easier with a compromise that works for both
sides.[15]
Expert Q&A
Question
How can I start building empathy?
Annie Lin, MBA

Life & Career Coach
Expert Answer
It all starts with being in touch with your own emotions. Take a few minutes throughout your
day to checkSupport wikiHow
on how you'reby unlocking
feeling thisyou're
and why expert answer.
feeling that way.
Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0
Question
How can I recognize my own emotions?
Annie Lin, MBA

Life & Career Coach
Expert Answer
It can help if you keep a journal about your mood and how you're feeling. That way, you can
track whenSupport
you're wikiHow by unlocking
feeling happy, thisorexpert
angry, sad, answer.
excited.
Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0
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References
1. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/empathy/definition
2. ↑ https://students.ubc.ca/ubclife/emotional-intelligence-101-empathetic-responses
3. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/empathy.htm
4. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-really-empathize-with-someone
5. ↑ https://students.ubc.ca/ubclife/emotional-intelligence-101-empathetic-responses
6. ↑ https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/2019/08/five-tips-for-nonjudgmental-listening/
7. ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/11/feature-cultivating-empathy
8. ↑ Annie Lin, MBA. Life & Career Coach. Expert Interview. 25 November 2019.
9. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/empathy.htm
More References (6)
About This Article
Co-authored by:
Annie Lin, MBA
Life & Career Coach
This article was co-authored by Annie Lin, MBA and by wikiHow staff writer, Glenn Carreau. Annie Lin is the
founder of New York Life Coaching, a life and career coaching service based in Manhattan. Her holistic
approach, combining elements from both Eastern and Western wisdom traditions, has made her a highly
sought-after personal coach. Annie’s work has been featured in Elle Magazine, NBC News, New York
Magazine, and BBC World News. She holds an MBA degree from Oxford Brookes University. Annie is also
the founder of the New York Life Coaching Institute which offers a comprehensive life coach certification
program. Learn more: https://newyorklifecoaching.com This article has been viewed 99,597 times.
Co-authors: 18
2 votes - 50% Updated: November 16, 2022
Views: 99,597
Categories: Featured Articles | Empathy | Communication Skills
In other languages:
Italiano: Provare Empatia Русский: сопереживать

Español: sentir empatía Bahasa Indonesia: Berempati
Français: avoir de l'empathie Nederlands: Empathie tonen
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 99,597 times.
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How to Empathize

Co-authored by Annie Lin, MBA and Glenn Carreau

Things You Should Know

2. Empathy is different from sympathy.

Becoming More Empathetic

1. Listen to other people and give them your full focus.

6. Reflect on your own emotions to better understand them.

7. Be emotionally vulnerable and share your feelings in return.

8. Expose yourself to new perspectives through books and stories.

Why is empathy important?

2. It can help you make wiser decisions in social interactions.

How can I start building empathy?

Annie Lin, MBA

How can I recognize my own emotions?

Annie Lin, MBA

What is your question?

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More References (6)

About This Article

Categories: Featured Articles | Empathy | Communication Skills

Italiano: Provare Empatia Русский: сопереживать

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