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    Gottman Rapoport Worksheet

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    Alvince Santana
    The document outlines rules and steps for the Gottman-Rapoport intervention for resolving conflicts. The rules instruct speakers to discuss feelings using "I" statements without blaming, and listeners to understand the speaker's perspective. The intervention aims for both partners to feel understood by having the listener clarify and validate the speaker's position until they are satisfied it is understood before roles are switched.

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    Gottman Rapoport Worksheet

    Uploaded by

    Alvince Santana
    4K views3 pages
    The document outlines rules and steps for the Gottman-Rapoport intervention for resolving conflicts. The rules instruct speakers to discuss feelings using "I" statements without blaming, and listeners to understand the speaker's perspective. The intervention aims for both partners to feel understood by having the listener clarify and validate the speaker's position until they are satisfied it is understood before roles are switched.

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    The document outlines rules and steps for the Gottman-Rapoport intervention for resolving conflicts. The rules instruct speakers to discuss feelings using "I" statements without blaming, and listeners to understand the speaker's perspective. The intervention aims for both partners to feel understood by having the listener clarify and validate the speaker's position until they are satisfied it is understood before roles are switched.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    4K views3 pages

    Gottman Rapoport Worksheet

    Uploaded by

    Alvince Santana
    The document outlines rules and steps for the Gottman-Rapoport intervention for resolving conflicts. The rules instruct speakers to discuss feelings using "I" statements without blaming, and listeners to understand the speaker's perspective. The intervention aims for both partners to feel understood by having the listener clarify and validate the speaker's position until they are satisfied it is understood before roles are switched.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    of 3

    GOTTMAN RAPOPORT

    INTERVENTION
    RULES FOR THE SPEAKER
    Your task is to honestly talk about your feelings and

    beliefs about your position on this issue.


    No blaming, criticism, or contempt.
    No “You” statements.
    Only use “I” statements about a specific situation.
    Talk about your feelings.
    State a positive need using a gentle start-up. Within

    every complaint there is a longing. When that longing

    is expressed, a recipe for how to fulfill it may emerge.

    RULES FOR THE LISTENER


    Postpone your own agenda.
    Hear your partner’s pain, even if you don’t agree with

    the details.
    Try to understand your partner’s world from her or his

    perspective, not your own.


    Ask questions for clarification and elaboration that

    deepen your understanding of your partner’s needs,

    such as “Tell me the story of that,” “What do your

    values tell you about this?” and, “How does this

    situation affect you?”


    017 BY DR. JOHN M. GOTTMAN AND DR. JULIE SCHWARTZ GOTTMAN.
    DISTRIBUTED UNDER LICENSE BY THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE, INC.
    GOTTMAN RAPOPORT
    INTERVENTION
    GOAL:
    Discuss a topic in a manner where you both feel
    understood by each other.

    PRINCIPAL:
    Before you can engage in persuasion, you each have to
    summarize your partner’s position to your partner’s
    satisfaction. It requires each of you to interview your
    partner extensively about your partner’s position. You
    will ask open ended and clarifying questions, and lastly,
    summarize and validate your partner’s position.

    STEP 1:
    Agree on an issue to work on.

    STEP 2:
    Decide who will be the speaker/sharer and who will be
    the listener. The speaker/sharer will describe their
    feelings and what they experienced from their
    perspective.

    ©2017 BY DR. JOHN M. GOTTMAN AND DR. JULIE SCHWARTZ GOTTMAN.


    DISTRIBUTED UNDER LICENSE BY THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE, INC.
    GOTTMAN RAPOPORT
    INTERVENTION
    STEP 3
    The listener should ask open ended questions to gain
    more detail and clarity. The Listener should then
    express empathy. For example, "After hearing all of that
    it makes sense to me how/why you're feeling that way."

    STEP 4
    When the speaker/sharer feels complete, the listener
    should reflect back what they heard (acknowledge and
    validate) and ask, "did I get that right?". Ask your partner
    if she or he feels understood. If not, ask, “What do I need
    to know to understand your perspective better?”

    STEP 6
    After the speaker feels that the listener has described
    their perspective accurately and to their satisfaction
    then switch roles.

    ©2017 BY DR. JOHN M. GOTTMAN AND DR. JULIE SCHWARTZ GOTTMAN.


    DISTRIBUTED UNDER LICENSE BY THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE, INC.

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