I decided to write this article because I have seen so many submissives come into

the lifestyle expecting everything to be dream-like and perfect. I don't wish to

ruin anyone's dreams, but what I wish to do is to explain how things really are.
Being a slave can be, and is for me, a wonderful life. It's everything I wanted it
to be. It is also more than I ever expected, and had someone explained the
realities to me prior to my decision, it would have made my transition so much
easier. For the purpose of this article, I am addressing issues related to being a
24/7 slave. These comments are from my viewpoint, which is that of a female slave
with a male Master. By no means do I wish to exclude Dommes or male slaves. For
them, I cannot comment from personal experience. This is just my view from a real-
time experience.

First, there are a few things you need to discover for and about yourself. Do you
wish to be in this type relationship 24/7? Perhaps you only wish to be in it during
the scenes. Maybe you want to role-play only during certain times. There are many
ways this activity can be done, but you have to figure out what is right for you.

Second, you need to learn to be honest with yourself. Figure out what you will and
will not do, and what is a "maybe". Search inside yourself for what you really
want, and when you find it, be honest to anyone you talk to. Don't agree to
something long-term that you know you will not be able accomplish. Ask yourself
some hard questions. The rest of this article will give you aspects to contemplate
so you can base your decisions on reality, and not someone else's dreams of how it
should be.

Are you prepared to surrender 100% control of your life to someone else? 24/7
slaves do this. Role-playing would mean entering into this relationship only for
the time agreed upon that the Master would have the total control. Once the scene
is over, everything returns to normal. Do you enjoy country music? Maybe you love
Rock and Roll. Consider this. The Master who's collar you will eventually wear, may
only like classical or another type of music that you don't enjoy. Are you prepared
to give up those selections and only listen to His music? This type sacrifice can
apply to many other things you currently enjoy. For myself, I love old love songs
of any type, and my Master is into Hard Rock. Because of His preferences, I rarely
get to listen to my songs. But, when I am a good girl, at times, He does permit me
to listen to my choice of music, as long as I get my assigned tasks and chores
done. Note, I said, "permitted to". Something as simple as listening to the radio
is a reward for me. It is not a right that you will be permitted to enjoy even this
little pleasure whenever you wish. These limitations can apply to many areas of
your life such as TV, choices of food or friends; anywhere, anything!

Is there a certain style of clothes you love? Certain colors and scents you
wouldn't be caught without? If your Master doesn't approve of them, you may be
wearing a totally different style with colors you never would have dreamed of. He
may lay your clothes out for you every morning. Are you prepared to abide happily
by His choices? If He asked you to wear something very skimpy to someplace simple
like the grocery store, could you do this without hesitation? I am lucky in the
fact that my Master lets me chose my own clothes most of the time. But at anytime,
should He decide that He wants me to wear something else, I am to change
immediately. Trust me, He does exercise this right. I have learned to always ask
Him what He would like me to wear if we are going someplace special.

Are you prepared to change your hairstyle, length, or color to please your Master?
All of these will belong to Him once you accept your collar as will everything else
that once belonged to you. You will no longer own anything. From the time you take
His collar, everything will be His. It will no longer be "your" car or "your"
clothes, but "His", on loan to you as He sees fit. If He should so choose, you will
not be permitted to wear clothes at all. This will be HIS choice, not yours.
Remember, you will have given up all rights to make these choices for yourself.
You have a favorite chair, or a certain way you like to sit or walk? Your Master
will decide whether you sit on furniture or on the floor. He will have the say if
you are to cross your legs, or sit with them spread wide-open. You will have to ask
permission to even climb into bed, or sit on a chair. Most slaves are allowed a
cushion on the floor that they do not need permission to sit upon, but very little
else. You will even need permission to eat at the table with your Master.

It's been a long hard day at work. You get home and want nothing more than to relax
in a tub and go to bed early. Well, you won't be able to. Being tired, ill, or just
in a bad mood does not excuse you from your required tasks. You are still required
to do them: prepare His meal, and go to bed when HE tells you to. Retiring for bed
usually occurs at a set time, even if you are not ready to go. There will not be an
"I am too tired" or "I don't feel well": nothing of the kind. Unless your Master
has excused you from your tasks and chores, you will remain responsible for making
sure His needs and wants are filled: no matter what. It is your job to inform your
Master of your physical health status. One of your main jobs will be to take care
of and protect, His possessions. You being are the most prized one He owns. As long
as you let your Master know how you are feeling, He will make sure that your tasks
will be appropriate to your capabilities.

Many come into this lifestyle looking to be used sexually, to service their Master
at His whim. They never consider other aspects. The main part of being a slave is
to be of service to your Master, and not to be serviced for yourself. However,
being readily available to Him at ALL times is also an unspoken expectation. The
old excuse "not tonight dear, I have a headache" doesn't work in a M/s
relationship. In order to provide Him pleasure, you must also express to Him the
pleasure of the moment for you as well. you must NEVER make your Master feel this
is a chore to you, that is, something you would rather not do, but will only
because you have to. If your Master tells you to do something, it will not be up to
you to question Him. You will be required to respond with no questions asked. At a
later time (if this is permitted in your relationship), you may ask Him for
permission to speak. If He gives permission, this will be your opportunity to ask
your questions. However, it is important to ask in a way so as not to question His
authority, but at the same time to satisfy your curiosity.

Do you feel being a slave is to be coerced, i.e. forced into servitude? Do you
think you couldn't do this unless you were? Then think again. Slaves enter into
this relationship of their own free will. This is not the day of forced slavery; it
is a matter of choice. YOURS! You are the one who will decide to give over your
power to your Master. You will be doing this, not because you are forced to obey,
but because you need to. Yes, during the course of your relationship there will be
times you will be forced to do something, but it will never be something that goes
against who you are. Your Master may feel obeying this command will help you to
grow into the best person you can be, or will help you break out of an inhibition
you have.

How is your temper? Are you quick to fly off-of-the-handle when you are upset? Or
are you laid back, accepting anything and everything, and then go off to sulk
because your feelings were hurt? A Master does not wish to have a doormat for a
slave nor does He desire to be told how things should be. Learning when and how to
say things will become very important in your relationship. If you do not tell your
Master when something is bothering you, then you have no right whatsoever, to
become upset. However wonderful and omnipotent He may seem, He is not a mind reader
- unless you tell Him, He won't know. The key, as I said a moment ago, is in how
and when you tell Him.

Your self-discipline is very important in this relationship. Do you tend to put

things off until the last possible moment? You won't be able to do this when you
are owned. There will be chores and tasks your Master will assign, that He expects
to be done in a timely fashion set by Him, not by you. Your Master's wants and
needs will be put before your own. Self-discipline is similar to self-control. Your
ability to follow complete assignments made by your Master will be very important.
As a slave, you will need to be able to control your own actions well enough to be
able to remain within the boundaries set for you by Him. If He says you can't do
something, simply, you can't. Doing it anyway, and not telling Him doesn't make it
right. In the case of a Master/slave relationship, what you don't know CAN hurt
you, as well as the relationship you have worked so hard to build. Even a simple
"white lie" can destroy the trust so necessary to really establish this type
relationship.

As to wants and needs of your own: do you know the difference between the two? If
not, I strongly recommend you figure them out before entering into servitude.
Sometimes the two are hard to distinguish, but it will become important that you do
so. Your Master will ensure all your "needs" are taken care of, but the "wants"
will be His to allow or not, as He sees fit. Needs are the necessities of life that
are required in order for us to remain mentally and physically healthy. They allow
us to grow emotionally and spiritually. If you can survive without something, then
it is a want. Wants are usually given as a reward for good behavior.

In order to be a slave, there will be many things you have to learn to accept
within yourself and adapt to. Your primary purpose in life will be to see to your
Masters pleasure (both mentally and physically) in any manner He should desire. In
order to do this, you will have to learn your Master well. Find out what pleases
and displeases Him. By this, I do not mean just sexually. You will learn that sex
is but a small part of your relationship. Learn to anticipate His every need and
desire without being pushy. His needs and desires will encompass intellectual
stimulation, physical pleasure, emotional support, and many other things unique to
Him. Remember - physical does not equal sexual. Physical pleasure may include, but
is not limited to, touch, favorite foods, textures, clothing, and colors as
examples. It will be your job to make sure His physical pleasures are met in every
way. Think of the five senses, and make His environment pleasing to all of them.
Never forget - the most pleasing thing in His environment should be you. As His
slave, it will be up to you to figure out what pleases your Master.

He should not have to ask constantly for the basic things - you should have learned
them. If His glass is empty, quietly and unobtrusively refill it. Remember, you are
doing this for His pleasure not your own. Just because He does not notice and
praise you doesn't mean you are doing it wrong. Look at His smile. Is He
comfortable? If He looks happy and content, then you have done well, and should
bask in His content. Always remember that you do this for Him and not for your own
satisfaction. Your happiness should come from serving Him and His being happy.

As I said in the beginning of this article, I am not trying to scare you away from
the world of M/s. My goal is to make sure that, when you enter our lifestyle, you
do so with your eyes wide open, fully knowing what to expect. The road will not be
an easy one. You will have to re-learn much of what you once took for granted:
things you just did without thinking, like simply sitting in a chair. These are
habits we never even think about anymore. That is, until we find a Master.

Being a slave is a wonderful life: one where you are taken care of. Most decisions
are out of your hands and in those of your Masters. But, many choices will still be
left up to you. Most Masters want a slave who is smart, has a sense of humor, and a
will of their own. There is no pleasure in owning a doormat who just sits or is
only walked upon. He will become bored very fast. Being yourself is the best advice
I was given, and I have found this to be absolutely true for me.
You will find being a slave everything you dreamed of and so much more if you enter
this life knowing more of what to expect. In relinquishing control, I have found
freedom: freedom to find and be the person I am inside. It is my hope that, after
reading this article, you will be able to make a more informed choice about
entering this lifestyle. Never forget that, one of the most important requirements
for existing in this lifestyle is honesty. Honesty with yourself first. However,
you will find that this is not as easy as it sounds. Once you learn to do this, you
will find yourself at peace and able to enter your servitude with clearer mind,
knowing where you are and where you want to be. When you accept your Masters
collar, you give up all your rights. Your friends, your life - nothing will remain
yours. Being a slave means giving up so much more than you would if you were only
being "sub". You give up all rights in your life. Slave isn't just a word; it's a
way of life, a defined action. Be well, my friend, and I hope you enjoy this
lifestyle as much as I have come to love being in it.