The Spectacular Foes Go To Hell

By

Fan Scripture
 A Message from the Director:
Wow, what a time! I get to write a project that's full of
love, fanservice, and FOES! It's like a dream come true.
Jornk had pitched it a long time ago, and Spyder produced,
and with Senna and Chucky involved this project was just a
goldmine of potential. And look how it turned out! This
project was so much fun, with so many small snippets that
even I have to admit I love it! (And not to say that I don't
like my own project, but I don't want to toot my own horn--my
cast deserves to do that so much more!)
I remember a time when I was honored to even star in a FS
role. I wanted to play anyone--I played Jonah in four
different projects, after all! I even got to play that
scripted gag from Spider-Man 4's original Raimi script, but
beyond that, I got a spinoff with the entire gang! I bounced
off the guys so much, and I loved every part of the Foes.
Seeing them die in-script hurt a little bit, but if it means
that they get to live again, then I knew that a project like
this couldn't be skimped on.
I look back on it now in 2021 with some of the joys of how I
was when I was younger. Enamored with Spider-Man and JoJo,
hoping to make a project that was some kind of contribution,
and we even got ASH WILLIAMS into this! Ash, who exists
between two FS servers! It's amazing. The cast is also the
most important part of the project, and they were such a
delight to bounce dialogue off of. Special thanks, of course,
to Senna--he's the best sidekick a Foe could have. Pwn--your
Ash is legendary. Even with Evil Dead 4's script, I couldn't
compete. Jettu, Proteus, Johnny, Hunter (aptly!), Spyder,
Chucky--you brought back the classic villains, some of whom
we brought to life, and some of whom Raimi did, with such fun
and fanservice that I need to mention you all. Shawdy, my
thanks to you for bringing forward a special cameo. And
Flash! In both stilts and deed, you really are a cornerstone
of this whole franchise...thing. Is Foes a franchise?
It's a project full of inside jokes, heart, and the love of
what we've created. A tribute to our monument. I hope to make
more projects to honor FS in the future, and I know that this
isn't the last directorial role you've seen from me.
Excelsior!
-Nigerian Prince, 9/25/21
 2.

CAST AND CREW (No spoilers, actual credits are at the end):
Nigerian Prince: Quentin Beck/Mysterio
Senna0202: Aaron Davis/The Prowler
pwnkaikz: Ash Williams
Jettu: Eddie Brock/Venom
DarthProteus: The Goblin
JohnnyTeaTears: The Vulture
Hunter: Kraven The Hunter
Spyder: The Jackal
ChuckyCheezus: The Kingpin
Shawdy: Dennis Carradine

Original story by Nigerian Prince, based on an idea from

Jornk Lonkitt

Soundtrack by Senna0202 and ChuckyCheezus

Executive Producer: Spyder
Directed by Nigerian Prince
 3.

FYI:
[This] indicates a song starts playing
[This] indicates when an image/gif/video located in the
"Extras" folder of the Soundtrack is shown.
Here is the link to the Soundtrack with all of the extra
videos/images/gifs if you do not have it alongside this
script:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_Xj3DFc3Tab7D7AdNCQp-
5B3DDH___vy/view?usp=sharing
Here is a link to the Discord server this was initially
written in. We have a slew of projects that we are preparing
for the future, and you can propose to "direct" your own
project as well! https://discord.gg/smcnVWVgYK
TIMELINE FOR NEO RAIMIVERSE (EXPANDED):
Jameson Season 1 (1977)
Howard the Duck (1986)
Kent Blake: A Cold War (1993)
X-Men (2000)
Spider-Man (2001)
X2 (2003)
Hulk (2003)
Spider-Man 2 (late 2003-early 2004)
The Punisher (2004)
Moon Knight (2004-2005)
Spider-Man 3 (2005)
X3: The Last Stand (2005)
Fantastic Four (2005)
Ghost Rider (2007)
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)
Spider-Man 4.1 (2007)
The Spectacular Foes of Spider-Man (2008)
Spider-Man 5 (2008)
Spider-Man 6 (2008)
Spider-War (2011)
Agent Venom (2011)
The Spectacular Foes Go To Hell (2012) <--- You are here.
Foes 2 (2012)
Inferior Foes (2012)
FO3S (2013-2014)
Agent Venom and the Thunderbolts (2015)

Spider-Girl (2038)
Spider-Girl 2 (2049)
And now, onto the main event. Ladies and gentlemen, fasten
your seatbelts!
 4.

FADE IN:

[1 - Marvel Fan Scripture Logo]

[2 - Black Screen]
???
So...you wanna know how we got
here?
??? (CONT’D)
Well...that's a bit of a long
story, isn't it?

SLOW FADE TO A LIGHT.

INT. ENDLESS VOID - ???

Two men in orange prison jumpsuits are falling through a
seemingly endless void, the walls of their imprisonment
glowing with a light shade of red.
The first man looks directly into the falling camera, a
frightened expression on his face. Another inmate is falling
nearby him in a similar manner.
???
See that stunningly handsome man in
a prison jumpsuit? Aside from me,
of course. That's Aaron Davis. I'm
Quentin Beck, and we're in a place
I like to call...
SOUNDTRACK START: [WELCOME TO HELL - VALVE STUDIO ORCHESTRA]
The music is accompanied with the wailing and gnashing of
teeth.
QUENTIN BECK
Yeah, I know what you're thinking:
'You guys saved some lives, stopped
Jack, went back to prison! Why are
you falling through the bowels of a
void?' And to that, I say...

INT. 7-11 - DAY

 5.

A FLASH CUTS TO MYSTERIO HOLDING A GUN TO THE HEAD OF A 7/11

EMPLOYEE.
MYSTERIO
Citizen of Earth! I, Mysterio,
desire all the money in the
register!

EXT. GLASS SKYSCRAPER - NIGHT

CUT TO THE PROWLER SCALING A GLASS SKYSCRAPER.

He punches through the glass and pulls out a banker from
inside.
THE PROWLER
Got any cash on you?

EXT. NEW YORK CITY - DAY

ANOTHER CUT SHOWS AN ILLUSION PROJECTOR FALLING ONTO AN

ELDERLY LADY CROSSING THE STREET.
MYSTERIO looks away from a hand-to-hand duel with SPIDER-MAN.
MYSTERIO
(Murmuring)
Sorry...
Spider-Man then punches Mysterio, his head banging within his
fishbowl with a deep 'BONG.'

EXT. DAILY BUGLE - DAY

YET ANOTHER CUT SHOWS A WINDOW.

Suddenly this window breaks apart, and reveals PETER PARKER
falling out of it while THE PROWLER is seen holding J. JONAH
JAMESON by his collar.
THE PROWLER
(Muttering)
That wasn't supposed to happen...
[3 - Trial and Error]
 6.

INT./EXT. VARIOUS
Move to several other quick cuts:
Prowler disrupting traffic, bringing about a seven car
pileup,
Mysterio slipping a hideous inmate a shiv within prison,
A civilian getting gibbed during Jack O'Lantern's bank
robbery from The Spectacular Foes of Spider-Man,
And several other punches, hostages and other situations.

INT. ENDLESS VOID - CONTINUOUS

Cut back to QUENTIN BECK with a shrug.
QUENTIN BECK
Okay, maybe we aren't the best
candidates. Can't say we didn't
try!
AARON DAVIS
At least that window kid survived.
Beck turns around with annoyance, shushing him.
QUENTIN BECK
I don't want to hear about how the
kid survived again!
Beck then turns back to the camera. The wails are louder now,
hands are reaching out of holes to grab the falling villains
and the red becoming a darker, more sinister color.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Sheesh, this isn't at all what
Bosch said it'd be! It's a real
doozy.
AARON DAVIS
You're tellin' me!
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
These sounds are really starting to
get on my nerves.
QUENTIN BECK
You think? How do you propose we
get out of this one, climb?
(MORE)
 7.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Get back up just to get shot in the
necks again by that lion-wearing
bastard?
AARON DAVIS
I think it was a tiger!
AARON DAVIS looks down.
He then looks back up at Beck.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
Beck.
QUENTIN BECK
Your tiger can go to--what?
AARON DAVIS
I just noticed that all this time
we could see the floor.
QUENTIN BECK
Yeah, there's a floor here! What
about--oh. Floor.
Beck looks down. Oh.
AARON DAVIS
Yep.
Beck swallows, then looks back at the camera.
QUENTIN BECK
Well, this is where we get off. Any
last words, Aaron?
AARON DAVIS
Why are you talking to the wall?
SOUNDTRACK END: [WELCOME TO HELL - VALVE STUDIO ORCHESTRA]
As the two fall towards the floor, a massive CG branding iron
pushes down into the ground, a sizzling sound effect ringing
out.
As the branding iron twists a bit, it pulls out, revealing:
[4 - The Spectacular Foes Go To Hell Title Card]
SOUNDTRACK START: [HIGHWAY TO HELL - ACDC]
SOUNDTRACK END: [HIGHWAY TO HELL - ACDC]
 8.

INT. WAITING ROOM - NIGHT

SOUNDTRACK START: [LITTLE GREEN BAG - GEORGE BAKER]

CUT QUICKLY TO AARON AND BECK IN THEIR UNDERWEAR AND VILLAIN

MASKS IN A WAITING ROOM.
Little Green Bag is playing softly on a loudspeaker.
The waiting room has small bubbling pools of lava and visible
humidity. Lights flash from within surgeon-like rooms. Beck
and Aaron slowly turn to each other in the waiting room,
glancing at each other with as much bewilderment as possible
to convey.
QUENTIN BECK
...Hey.
AARON DAVIS
Uhh... hey.
QUENTIN BECK
...Miss Earth yet?
AARON DAVIS
A little.
QUENTIN BECK
Yeah...me too. Maybe more, maybe
less.
Pause.
AARON DAVIS
So...
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
Nice weather we're having?
Suddenly, the receptionist room's door is slammed open by...
[5 - Carratime & Time Again]
Beck looks over at the entry, confused.
QUENTIN BECK
Hey, buddy, wait your turn! We're,
uh...
Beck looks over at Aaron.
 9.

QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
(Whisper)
Prowler and Mysterio or you and me?
AARON DAVIS
(Whisper)
Prowler and Mysterio, sounds more
menacing.
MYSTERIO
Prowler and Mysterio!
Mysterio then turns back to Prowler.
MYSTERIO (CONT’D)
...Why are we Prowler and Mysterio,
anyway?
THE PROWLER
Why... not?
He shrugs.
DENNIS CARRADINE
Don't you customed wackos know?
Here we always wear the last thing
we used before we go down! You
kinda get used to it after.... 11
years.
Mysterio tugs on his helmet, then realizes that he can't get
it off. He sighs, looking down.
MYSTERIO
Really? Feels like...what, feels
like we've been waiting for five
years. Smells like it, too.
THE PROWLER
Speaking of waiting, when are we
up?
Suddenly, their names are called by a very Gilbert Gottfried-
esque voice.
GILBERT GOTTFRIED-ESQUE VOICE
QUENTIN BECK AND AARON DAVIS.
REPORT TO SECTION A-5!
THE PROWLER
Speak of the devil.
DENNIS CARRADINE
Mind if I come with you, fellas?
 10.

Mysterio, Prowler, and Dennis walk over to the receptionist

spot.
THE PROWLER
Wait a minute, how was the line
moving when no one was here before
us?
DENNIS CARRADINE
It never was! I just like to keep
people waiting so I don't get
bored.
MYSTERIO
...We're in Hell, alright.

DENNIS CARRADINE
Depends to be honest. For me, this
is Heaven!

INT. WAITING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

An overhead camera shows Dennis reviewing their IDs. Zoom in
onto their pictures, showing aliases,
birthdates...deathdates, and a tally list of points. A
montage shows tallies being marked, and Dennis begins listing
crime after crime.
DENNIS CARRADINE
Attempted robbery of multiple
banks.
AARON DAVIS
Sounds about right.
QUENTIN BECK
The pumpkin made me do it...
Dennis looks confused at Beck.
DENNIS CARRADINE
Please tell me you're not one of
those psychopaths, Fishbowl.
QUENTIN BECK
Hey, he was!
AARON DAVIS
Yeah, a real nutcase.
DENNIS CARRADINE
Sure... Ok. Here's another one of
your crimes.
(MORE)
 11.
DENNIS CARRADINE (CONT’D)
61 car robbery attempts! Woah,
buddy! You're one hell of a Grand
Theft Auto!
QUENTIN BECK
Hey, hey, that's all him. I can
fly--well, 'fly', jackass.
AARON DAVIS
Car insurance is expensive! Can't
blame me for wanting to save a
little dough.
DENNIS CARRADINE
Ok... it says here that you two,
uh, have attacked and injured
several policemen.
QUENTIN BECK
Well...they started it...?
DENNIS CARRADINE
By trying to protect innocent lives
and do the right thing, Fishbowl.
I've done some heavy shit but that
is just horrible, man. I think the
most fucked up thing I did was
shoot an old man. But you injured a
SHIT TON of policemen.
Dennis starts to search around on his pocket and takes out
two envelopes.
DENNIS CARRADINE (CONT’D)
Well, guys. It was a pleasure to
meet you two but...
He hands them the envelopes.
DENNIS CARRADINE (CONT’D)
Enjoy your punishment for all
eternity! No refunds!
A dark portal suddenly opens behind Dennis.
DENNIS CARRADINE (CONT’D)
Wait, what the f--
Multiple human faced birds, harpies, start to pull Dennis
into the portal with their claws.
 12.

ALPHA HARPY
Dennis Carradine! You've been
sentenced to eternal punishment for
being a naughty, naughty little
damned!
Dennis starts to scream.
DENNIS CARRADINE
OH, NO! NOT THE HARPIES! NOT THE
HARPIES! AAAAAHHHHH!
Dennis is fully pulled into the portal as it closes.
AARON DAVIS
Okay, that just happened.
QUENTIN BECK
Yeesh. Hope mine ain't that bad.
Beck tears open his envelope and reads over the letter,
squinting to read the print.
Aaron rips his open and glances over the letter.
Beck looks over at Aaron, looking at his expression.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Hey, this ain't great, but...what's
the worst that could happen?
AARON DAVIS
You know you just don’t ask that
question, right?
SOUNDTRACK END: [LITTLE GREEN BAG - GEORGE BAKER]
Cut to a dutch angle of a slightly broken movie theater
screening door. Cue a scream from Beck.
The camera enters the doors.
SOUNDTRACK START: [DEAD MAN'S PARTY - OINGO BOINGO]

INT. QUENTIN BECK'S HELL - CONTINUOUS

A lineup of critics glare down on Beck, strapped down in a
similar fashion to A Clockwork Orange, eyes fixated on a
screen.
The first critic stands to speak about the film.
[6 - Scum]
 13.

PETER TRAVERS
This is just...a mess. Utterly.
The second stands, a confused expression on his face.
[7 - Professional Contrarian]
ARMOND WHITE
This is...a trainwreck. Nothing
less.
The third critic stands, a sign of utter displeasure on his
face.
[8 - I Remember It So YOU Don't Have To!]
DOUG WALKER
What is this shit?! If both of them
hate it, that should give a pretty
good image of what we're in for.
Beck looks up from the table as best he can.
QUENTIN BECK
Please, it's been ten hours, say
something else!
ARMOND WHITE
It's like I'm looking inside an
asshole. These effects...
DOUG WALKER
They're terrible! I know we're in
Hell and all, but come on, this is
the real torture!
PETER TRAVERS
I concur. What a bore.
Beck begins to weep, struggling.
QUENTIN BECK
I just wanted to be big! I wanted
to be a star! I had something!
DOUG WALKER
No, you had crap! Now, you want
quality? Let me show you quality!
The theater screen starts to distort.

INT. JACK O'LANTERN'S HIDEOUT - CONTINUOUS

 14.

CUT TO A SCENE SHOWING ALL THE SPECTACULAR FOES IN THEIR

HIDEOUT, DRINKING BEERS.
All of them: RHINO, Prowler, SHOCKER, JACK O'LANTERN,
and...finally...STILT-MAN.
Shocker stands to speak.
[9 - Don't Mock!]
THE SHOCKER
Man, I'm glad we've got everyone
here! We got a huge steal, beat
down ol' Moonhead, and we got away
thanks to our gadget
provider...Jack.
Jack laughs, holding up his hands, and another member speaks
up.
Holding a trophy from the heist, Wilbur Day stands to speak.
[10 - Maple Syrup-Man!]
WILBUR DAY
I'm so glad I had all of you to
count on! I know you guys--and only
you guys--are the best friends I've
ever had.
Beck stares up in shock.
QUENTIN BECK
Wait...this isn't...no...this isn't
real!
PETER TRAVERS (O.S.)
I do say, they look much happier
without you.
DOUG WALKER (O.S.)
You know, after watching Beck's
entire filmography, I think this
should help to wash out your mouth.
The screen distorts again.

INT. HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS

A rose-tinted memory arises. ELMORE AND HENRIETTA BECK stand
over a baby.
[11 - It's A Wonderful Life]
 15.

ELMORE BECK
Gee wiz, honey, I'm sorry to hear
about your brother, but
Maguire...he's a cute kid. I told
you, we didn't need to have kids!
HENRIETTA BECK
You might be right...you know,
we're going to be a happy
family...all by ourselves!
The couple embraces as MAGUIRE BECK stares up, cooing.

INT. QUENTIN BECK'S HELL - CONTINUOUS

Beck sobs as the critics stand and applaud.
[12 - Standing Ovation]
PETER TRAVERS
Stunning! Indeed!
ARMOND WHITE
Now that we can agree on!
DOUG WALKER
Yeah, more of this, none of the
other crap!
As the tape begins rolling more--a life of toys, richness,
happiness--Beck breaks down, memories he remembered so
distinctly being overwritten.
SOUNDTRACK END: [DEAD MAN'S PARTY - OINGO BOINGO]
A slow pan into darkness brings the camera up through a soap
bin.

EXT. AARON DAVIS' HELL - CONTINUOUS

Prowler--Aaron Davis--stands with a boombox, gently playing:
SOUNDTRACK START: [LOVERS OF THE WORLD - JERRY WALLACE]
We see that Aaron is cleaning windows on a large skyscraper,
which seemingly never end.
Briefly, the windows will clear, and Aaron's reflection
stares back at him, clothes ragged and dirty.
AARON DAVIS
Just like old times.
 16.

He sighs.
Suddenly, an A/C unit smashes the reflection, narrowly
missing his head.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
What the--
[13 - What The...]
Spider-Man swings by, a giant automaton following him. More
glass shatters, though it regenerates as it falls, dirtier
than ever.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
DAMN IT! Not again!
Aaron is compelled to clean the windows again, and does so.
His elevator brings him down by a few millimeters every
second, and above him, Spider-Man smashes a full row of
windows. Glass falls down, shattering all around Aaron.
Aaron begins to sob.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
I can't take this anymore!
He keeps cleaning.
His elevator stalls between stalls.
Aaron turns around and sees Spider-Man coming yet again.
He picks up the soap bucket and throws it at him.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
Go to hell asshole!
The soap gets caught in the raging wind and douses the
already pissed Aaron.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
GOD! DAMMIT!!!!!
He kicks some cleaning supplies.
[14 - GOD DAMMIT!]
SOUNDTRACK END: [LOVERS OF THE WORLD - JERRY WALLACE]
 17.

INT./EXT. QUENTIN BECK & AARON DAVIS' HELL - CONTINUOUS

The screen splits and shows the two punishments side by side.
SOUNDTRACK START: [BRAIN STEW - GREEN DAY]
Time seems to speed up, the punishments blending into two
similar processes.
Beck's eyes become empty and numb, and Aaron's shoulders are
brought to a sag.

INT./EXT. LAVA SPA - LATER

As they move to a lava 'spa', a building with the sign
'Complying with Hell's labor laws since 1503', the camera
shows them inside, up to their necks in lava.
All they can do now is sadly stare at each other.

INT. QUENTIN BECK'S HELL - LATER

Later, Beck slowly sits down, unable to resist the torment.

EXT. AARON DAVIS' HELL - CONTINUOUS

Aaron stands on the lift, sighing as it begins its almost
eternal ascent once more.

INT. QUENTIN BECK'S HELL - CONTINUOUS

Beck's hands are being secured by demons, but a thundering
boom resounds throughout the theater.
SOUNDTRACK END: [BRAIN STEW - GREEN DAY]
Beck slowly turns his head to see the demon—very messily—
missing a head.
Doug looks out at the door as a gun cock is heard.
SOUNDTRACK START: [SEEING DOUBLE - JOSEPH LODUCA]
The three demonic critics are obliterated by three shots.
They revert to their demonic forms as they’re torn apart.
A guard demon stands to attention, but a chainsaw tears
through it almost instantly.
 18.

Beck looks over in fear, but then his face breaks into a
terrified grin.
QUENTIN BECK
Hey, you look...familiar somehow.
A chainsaw comes into the shot, revving up. Beck gulps.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
...Please don’t tell me you’re one
of mine.

EXT. AARON DAVIS' HELL - CONTINUOUS

Aaron’s windows are another cut, except he’s only about 2
feet off the ground from the last shot. The elevator slowly
struggles upward as he sighs.
AARON DAVIS
I'll never get used to the smell of
these chemicals. It gets worse
EVERY time the elevator moves up.
???
Trust me, compared to what I’m
smelling off of this guy, those
chemicals are a godsend.
Three shotgun blasts obliterate the visible windows of the
building.
Aaron quickly turns around.
AARON DAVIS
Beck? Is that you?
???
Beck? This clump who smells like he
hasn’t used the john in a week?
[15 - Housewares]
ASH WILLIAMS
Do I look like a Beck to you?
SOUNDTRACK END: [SEEING DOUBLE - JOSEPH LODUCA]
AARON DAVIS
Ah, this place is just playing
tricks on me. I need to get back to
washing these windows.
Aaron turns back around and continues cleaning.
 19.

ASH WILLIAMS grabs onto the lift and steps up, trying to pull
back Aaron.
ASH WILLIAMS
Hey, come on, now! I’m Ash
Williams, I’m here to get you two
out of here. Now stop the window
washing!
AARON DAVIS
Let go of me! I need to keep
cleaning!
Aaron struggles to break free of Ash's grasp.
Ash sighs, then punches Aaron in the face, using some of the
elevator cord to bind his hands and legs.
ASH WILLIAMS
Snap out of it, will you? You’re
stalling us now!
Aaron continues to try and break free to clean.
Ash ends up hoisting him over his shoulder, sighing in
defeat.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
Do it your way, at least until your
swan song wears off.
Ash jumps down in front of Beck.
QUENTIN BECK
Wow. Now, what was that about
saving us?
Ash hoists the shotgun onto his back, pointing out. Around
the trio, the world begins to fade out slowly, like the
dissipating film of a broken projector.
ASH WILLIAMS
Let me just say this, Quentin.
We're in a damn pickle around here.
We're stuck in Hell, and for
reasons I can't even begin to
explain yet, we need to go now.
Now, what you need to know is,
name's Ash. I work in Housewares.
I'm your best chance of getting out
of here.
 20.

AARON DAVIS
Why are you here! Just let me
clean!
ASH WILLIAMS
Well, my insane friend, the Ooze
brought me. No use asking what the
Ooze is or where it's from, but
it's consuming Hell. And if you
want decent afterlives or even
better lives, you're gonna have to
trust me here.
Beck looks around another time, frightened as the world turns
to darkness around him.
QUENTIN BECK
What's happening? What are we gonna
do?!
Ash turns to Beck, prepping his chainsaw as the world
finalizes in its form. The wailing and gnashing of teeth
begins to quiet down, replaced by a guttural moaning.
ASH WILLIAMS
Simple. We're gonna blast the hell
out of all the Ooze we can, and
then even more.

EXT. HELL - LATER

The camera pulls overhead and gives us an expansive view of
the landscape.
SOUNDTRACK START: [RUN THROUGH THE JUNGLE - CREEDENCE
CLEARWATER REVIVAL]
[16 - Looks like Hell out there!]

A trio of characters--Quentin Beck, Ash Williams and Aaron

Davis--wander through Hell, Aaron hoisted over Beck's
shoulder.
Hell is a dark, murky place with grotesque, deformed
creatures roaming around. These creatures will tear each
other limb from limb, their dark oozes pooling under the
victor as they move.
One creature tackles another, and they roll around, tearing
at each other. One rips off the other's head and begins
digging in as the camera moves through the ooze.
 21.

The camera immediately gets cleared up as a shot rings out,

and several shots tear through the demon. Through the bullet
holes is visible...Ash Williams.
ASH WILLIAMS
So, how’d you two end up in the
depths of Hell?
Ash casually blasts away a demon that jumps at him with his
shotgun, not looking.
AARON DAVIS
We weren't cleaning windows and
paid the price for it.
Beck attempts to hold Aaron in his arms like a newborn baby,
moving him away from the bloodspray.
QUENTIN BECK
Well, you know, you do a few
unlawful but not totally illegal
things, and...well, let's just say
nobody appreciates a good plan.
ASH WILLIAMS
Unlawful and illegal. Aren’t those
technically the same thing?
QUENTIN BECK
Come on, it's like stealing a candy
bar. It's unlawful, but nobody's
gonna arrest you for it. It's a
candy bar.
A tortured form emerges from an almost untainted corner of
Hell, lunging at the gang.
[17 - Insides are Outsides]
Ash fires at the demon, and its insides swiftly become its
outsides.
AARON DAVIS
This place scares the hell out of
me.
ASH WILLIAMS
Surely they’d fine you for it or
something, though.
QUENTIN BECK
I mean, a fine's a fine! That's not
jailtime. Doubt you're gonna be
pulled away by a cop for a fine.
(MORE)
 22.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Still, though: some things warrant
imprisonment, and some things
don't. Candy bars aren't worth
that.
Beck looks around as he says that.
AARON DAVIS
Depends on how many candy bars
we're talkin' about.
ASH WILLIAMS
So a bunch of small crimes add up
to one big crime?
QUENTIN BECK
Hey, that'd explain things. Maybe a
bunch of good deeds just cancels
out the bad.
Beck moves to hoisting Aaron over his shoulder now.
AARON DAVIS
Sounds about right.
ASH WILLIAMS
Ugh, enough talking. More shooting.
On cue, two demons jump out, shocking the trio.
[18 - Maggot]
[19 - Imp]
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
Bingo.
In his shock, Beck drops Aaron, then falls back, tripping
over him.
Ash fires at one of the demons.
The first demon explodes, but as the goop splashes across
Ash, it hisses and screams. Ash's skin seems a little bit
livelier now.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
Oh for Christ sake.
Ash fires at the second demon.
The second demon explodes, but some of the guts make it over
Ash's head.
 23.

They land onto Aaron's chest, and immediately begin to spread

over his limbs, immobilizing him as tentacles grow.
Aaron begins to panic.
AARON DAVIS
Help!
Ash straps his shotgun to his back. He sighs and revs up his
chainsaw.
Beck looks up, then down at Aaron.
QUENTIN BECK
How precise is that thing?! You're
gonna cut the goo off?
The ooze spreads to Aaron's hands and feet. Only one way up
now.
AARON DAVIS
Get it off! Get it off!
ASH WILLIAMS
I’m not cutting the goo off.
The chainsaw white and spins loudly and threateningly as it
moves closer to Aaron’s head.
Beck waves his hands, screaming now.
QUENTIN BECK
Woah, woah, woah! The hell are you
doing, he's my friend!
ASH WILLIAMS
Come on. Bodies don’t matter down
here. I could cut you guys both
into a billion little pieces and
you’d still be fine. How are you
gonna receive eternal torment if
you’re dead?
Ash swings the chainsaw, cutting off Aaron’s head.
Beck pauses to think about it for a second, then gulps as the
head comes off. A hand goes over his mouth.
Meanwhile, the Ooze has stopped spreading.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
Ta-da! I knew that would work. Or,
uh, I was pretty sure, at least.
 24.

Aaron's head plops to the ground, eyes closed.

AARON DAVIS
Is it gone?
Aaron's eyes open and move down, widening in shock.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
What happened to the rest of me?!?
Beck grabs his head, looking over it.
QUENTIN BECK
Wait, lemme get this straight--you
can speak. Can you feel anything?
AARON DAVIS
If you count my brain and eye balls
as something, then yeah! I can feel
them all right!
Beck grins, lifting the head up.
QUENTIN BECK
Hey, all things considered, this
isn't all that bad. To be or not to
be, A-A?
Aaron rolls his eyes and bites Beck's finger.
Beck screams--
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Yowch!
And grabs his fishbowl, dropping Aaron inside, muttering--
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Little shit, those are sharp!
AARON DAVIS
Hey! It's cramped in here!
QUENTIN BECK
You have a smaller head than me! As
far as I'm concerned, you're in
luxury living!
ASH WILLIAMS
Hey, you two! Can we focus?
SOUNDTRACK END: [RUN THROUGH THE JUNGLE - CREEDENCE
CLEARWATER REVIVAL]
 25.

EXT. HELL - LATER

CUT TO A SHOT OF BECK AND ASH WALKING, AARON'S HEAD PEERING

OUT OF THE FISHBOWL.
SOUNDTRACK START: [WONDERWALL - OASIS]
As they walk through the wasteland, they observe several
sights: dark rivers, demons that grow different limbs and
more.

EXT. HELL - LATER

Another shot has the three sitting around a small fire, Beck
spooning a beer to Aaron.
Then, they’re interrupted by a snarl.
A large snarl, with a liquid seeping downwards.
A large creature, it turns out.
[20 - Oozosaurus Rex]
AARON DAVIS
The hell is that?
Ash, without thinking, whips his shotgun out and fires madly
at it.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
Hey Beck! Turn this bowl around, I
want to see the action.
Beck steps up, chugging down most of his beer while tossing
the rest of the can within the fishbowl, which begins filling
up slowly. He begins running back towards Ash, pointing the
bowl’s opening at the O-Rex.
QUENTIN BECK
Aahhhhhhh, shit! Run run run run
run!
AARON DAVIS
Keep those legs movin' Beck!
Beck pants as the trio makes their escape.
Aaron is seen drinking the beer in the fishbowl as it sloshes
around during the escape.
Ash runs, continuing to fire behind him without looking.
 26.

Beck pants, glaring down at Aaron’s lack of distress.

QUENTIN BECK
Less...cakes...more gym...!
ASH WILLIAMS
You gotta get on that cardio, man.
The camera disappears behind a rock, then reappears rising
over a hill.

EXT. THE HEART OF DARKNESS - MOMENTS LATER

Wonderwall fades as the trio stand above a large, curved pit
into an abyss.
SOUNDTRACK END: [WONDERWALL - OASIS]
A slight curve of the camera reveals—not an abyss—but a sleek
surface that appears to be a void at the bottom of the pit.
Above it is a large, pulsing form.
Ash points at the center of the void with his gun.
ASH WILLIAMS
That right there my friends, is the
Heart Of Darkness.
AARON DAVIS
...All I see is an empty can of
beer.
QUENTIN BECK
Who named it, and more importantly,
who cares now? Wasn’t this here
before?
ASH WILLIAMS
Well, it’s the whole reason we’re
here. To destroy it.
AARON DAVIS
Whatever this is it better be more
interesting than the ingredients
label that I'm face to face with.
ASH WILLIAMS
I’ve been tracking this ooze for
weeks, but I never thought it’d get
this far. We gotta take care of
this, and quick.
 27.

QUENTIN BECK
Alright; you take care of that, you
get us out of this mess...
Beck shakes the fishbowl subtly.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
...right, Davis?
AARON DAVIS
I dunno, I kinda like it in here
now.
QUENTIN BECK
You’re going into the Heart if you
keep messing with me!
Beck shakes the fishbowl like an 8-ball.
ASH WILLIAMS
Now we just have to figure out how
to get down there.
QUENTIN BECK
I dunno. If it’s between the
pitfall of ooze and the solid round
pit around it, I’d say our best
chance is—-
Beck pauses as a sickening ‘plop’ is heard, and his eyes
widen.
Ash’s eyes widen in shock, and he yelps in pain very
suddenly.
ASH WILLIAMS
Son of a bitch!
Two talons, one in each’s gut, are barely sticking out of
their front sides. Silence fills the air.
AARON DAVIS
Beck, what happened?
The shot pans out.
Their attacker lets out a low-pitched cackle.
???
Well, well, well. Isn't this a
merry reunion?
Music begins to play, rising and rising as the scene becomes
clearer.
 28.

SOUNDTRACK START: [21ST CENTURY SCHIZOID MAN (RADIO EDIT) -

KING CRIMSON]
AARON DAVIS
Beck! Say something!
Aaron's head moves around in the bowl and he eventually sees
who the mysterious figure is.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
You!? Jesus, you look like shit.
THE VULTURE is revealed as their attacker. He rips his talons
back as a grin spreads across his bird-like face. He lets out
a low pitched cackle and flies straight towards the bowl,
snatching it in his teeth.
[21 - Early Bird]

INT. THE HEART OF DARKNESS - CONTINUOUS

Ash and Beck are dropped into the chamber holding the Heart,
and roll on the floor before a staircase leading to a throne.
Beck's fishbowl, containing Aaron's head, rolls forward as
well to meet them.
The throne holds a shadowy figure, and atop the throne, the
Vulture swoops in, perched above the 'ruler.'
Ash looks up in shock.
ASH WILLIAMS
Ah, damn. We're out of time.
Beck looks over at Ash in confusion.
QUENTIN BECK
Out of time? Come on, you've got a
gun. Can't you shoot birdbrain up
there and his master?
AARON DAVIS
Hey Beck, mind turning me around? I
can't see a damn thing.
THE VULTURE
You're all just prey, being circled
by superior hunters. Like all prey,
you'll be slaughtered.
AARON DAVIS
Yeah, prey that can't see anything.
 29.

Beck feels his side, winces and slaps Aaron's fishbowl. It

spins around at a tilted angle.
QUENTIN BECK
Happy?!
???
Well, well if it isn't Dorothy and
the gang. Off to see the wizard?
Ash looks up, nodding in understanding.
ASH WILLIAMS
Great. This is the part where he
kills us.
The figure on the throne rises, a hulking, black figure with
white points for eyes. As he walks over, pieces of shrapnel
can be seen within the figure as its eyes morph into
splotches like white ink, veins moving along its surface and
white slowly popping from the chest. The figure's face begins
to split apart, teeth forming a sort of robe collar as he
steps down the stairs, leaving small dents as he walks.
???
I could kill you...Make every
torturous moment last centuries...
but I'm kinda busy.
Beneath the dark mask lies a head of blonde hair and a smug
look that any Daily Bugle worker would know: EDDIE BROCK --
VENOM.
[22 - King of Lies]
Beck looks up at Venom, confused and scared.
QUENTIN BECK
You...you're that black Spider-Man,
the one on TV a few years back!
AARON DAVIS
This guy is bad news.
Eddie chuckles.
EDDIE BROCK
Don't...don't compare me to that
goody two-shoes. If I need a
name...
Eddie thinks for a moment.
 30.

EDDIE BROCK (CONT’D)
You could call me Venom.
Eddie uses the symbiote to form a sharp-edged cane.
Beck tries to shuffle back, but he's frozen in fear
QUENTIN BECK
Wait, why are you that thing?
Didn't you get killed by it or
something? You were in the papers!
Ash looks over at Beck and shakes his head.
ASH WILLIAMS
He wasn't killed by it. He was that
thing, and I've been tracking him
after death for far too long.
EDDIE BROCK
I'm flattered someone remembers me.
AARON DAVIS
Whatddya you want with us anyway?
ASH WILLIAMS
Well...not with you. I've been
tracking him because his spirit
couldn't just lie down and die. He
had further aspirations after
death, and his soul and the Ooze's
were intertwined. I was going to
find a few souls down here to
recruit to stop him, but...I guess
we were too late.
SOUNDTRACK END: [21ST CENTURY SCHIZOID MAN (RADIO EDIT) -
KING CRIMSON]
SOUNDTRACK START: [EGYPT (THE CHAINS ARE ON) - DIO]
EDDIE BROCK
I had asked God to kill Peter
Parker, but now it looks like I'm
gonna one-up him!
Eddie motions towards his executioner.
EDDIE BROCK (CONT’D)
I could have my pal here gut every
last one of you...or...you could
join me and unleash hell on Earth!
 31.

ASH WILLIAMS
You think we'd join you? I'd tell
you to go to Hell, but considering
where we are, I think you should go
to the Bugle instead.
Beck pauses in thought, looking back at Ash, then at Aaron,
then at Venom again.
QUENTIN BECK
If I said no to Kraven up there,
what makes you think I'd say yes to
you down here?
AARON DAVIS
We may be villains, uh- have been
villains, but we're not evil.
Eddie sighs.
EDDIE BROCK
Ya know...I'm disappointed.
Eddie snaps his fingers to summon his executioner. The
symbiote engulfs Eddie's face once more.
VENOM
Have at 'em.
A figure stands in the shadows behind the throne, motioned at
by Venom. The sound of a blade hitting the floor is seen,
then held out into the light.
[23 - The Blade From His Gilder]
SOUNDTRACK END: [EGYPT (THE CHAINS ARE ON) - DIO]
SOUNDTRACK START: [FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS - METALLICA]
The figure cackles with glee.
???
A villian that isn't evil... I've
never heard a more pathetic
oxymoron!
The figure steps into the light, revealing NORMAN OSBORN in a
much more GOBLIN-like costume.
[24 - Back to Formula]
THE GOBLIN
Now, we're gonna finish you,
niiiiice, and SLOOOOW.
 32.

AARON DAVIS
Osborn!? But- but you're dead!
Venom cackles.
VENOM
We ALL died!
AARON DAVIS
I keep forgettin'!!
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
(Muttering)
Guess it takes some time to get
used to..
ASH WILLIAMS
Was really hoping he hadn't gotten
that far through the target list...
KRAVEN -- THE HUNTER then enters the room, carrying a bag of
assorted meats and bones which he throws to the Vulture.
[25 - Grudge Held]
At that, Beck begins to attempt standing up, but falls due to
his wound from Vulture.
QUENTIN BECK
Hey, you bastard, you killed Aaron
and I! When I get out of here, I’m
cramming your blow darts down your
throat!
AARON DAVIS
If I had my body, you'd be even
more dead than you are now!
The Hunter snarls at Beck and Aaron, showing his blade
threateningly.
THE HUNTER
The things that I did in my past
life are of no matter to me
anymore, for I have been given the
role of Beastmaster. But, I must
say that it would be a pleasure to
kill you two again.
VENOM
Bring in The Enforcer!
The Hunter nods and turns around to the entrance behind him.
He yanks on a chain attached to him.
 33.

THE HUNTER
OUT!
A hulking, symbiote infected WILSON FISK -- the former
KINGPIN of crime, then stumbles forward, his neck bound by
The Hunter's chain. He snarls at Aaron, Beck, and Ash, drool
falling from his mouth as if he's a mad dog.
[26 - How The Mighty Fall]
Beck looks at the figure in fear as drool lands by his face.
QUENTIN BECK
...Woah, mamma.
The Hunter chuckles at the beast.
THE HUNTER
Good! Good! When you're done here
I'll throw you a bone, eh?
Kingpin happily grins, nodding his head up and down.
VENOM
I empowered my friends here with
the symbiote. Our combined hate
kept us alive in these depths.
Another figure slowly steps out, his back hunched over and
his face obscured by a mask.
???
It wasn't easy trying to bring
everyone back to power... but by
the Devil, was it worth it...
Part of the room flashes with a bright light from the
creature's corridor, revealing...
MILES WARREN -- THE JACKAL.
[27 - Metamorphosis]
AARON DAVIS
What now? Is Ol' Jack gonna come in
and say hello too?
QUENTIN BECK
Please don't have Wilbur...not him
too...
AARON DAVIS
Naa, Wil's upstairs. I know that
for sure.
 34.

VENOM
Alright boys, KILL THEM!
The Hunter lets Kingpin's chain go, pushing him in the
direction of Beck and Aaron.
THE HUNTER
KILL THEM!
THE KINGPIN
RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!
Kingpin charges at the group and pins down Ash and Beck with
ease.
THE KINGPIN (CONT’D)
KILL...THEM!!!
Ash and Beck both wince in pain, Ash looking at Beck.
ASH WILLIAMS
How'd we get into this mess again?!
QUENTIN BECK
Well, it's a long sto--shut up and
figure something out!
Goblin twirls the spear, laughing all the while.
AARON DAVIS
I would help you guys but I'm still
a goddamn head!
Aaron looks around again at the situation.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
Let's just get the hell outta here!
THE GOBLIN
I'm going to enjoy making mincemeat
of your efforts.
He raises his spear.
THE GOBLIN (CONT’D)
GODSPEED, ALL YE HELLBOUND, AND
FOLLOW THE COLD SHIVER DOWN YOUR
SPINE TO YOUR ETERNAL REST.
Ash looks around in desperation, a panic in his eyes.
SOUNDTRACK END: [FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS - METALLICA]
SOUNDTRACK START: [TIME HAS COME TODAY - CHAMBERS BROTHERS]
 35.

Ash spots a crack leading from Jackal's corridor that was

left unsealed, a green bubbling liquid left below.
He looks back at the fishbowl containing Aaron's head.
ASH WILLIAMS
Get the hell out of here, huh?
Ash takes a deep breath and sticks his leg out, punting the
fishbowl as best he can towards the crack.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
You sure can!
Aaron, confused and scared, screams.
AARON DAVIS
AHHHHHH!!!!
The fishbowl slowly submerges in the green liquid.
The music abruptly cuts off.
SOUNDTRACK END: [TIME HAS COME TODAY - CHAMBERS BROTHERS]
Goblin stares towards the crack, then Ash, in confusion.
THE GOBLIN
How pathetically predicable. Do you
actually think there is any way
out? There IS NO ESCAPE from your
eternal doom!
ASH WILLIAMS
Trust me, if he knows how to use
it, you're gonna be the ones who
are doomed! You're gonna rot!
THE GOBLIN
I will make you SUFFER for this
waste of my fun, Williams. Slowly.
YOU AND I...
He raises his spear.
THE GOBLIN (CONT’D)
-WE'RE GONNA HAVE A HELLUVA-
The crack in the floor begins to violently bubble.
Suddenly, the liquid begins to glow.
And out of it comes...a fishbowl.
 36.

Kingpin tilts his head and makes a confused sound.

However, from the sides of the crack, two dark, gloved hands
grasp the sides and begin to pull themselves up, hinting at a
greater form beneath.
Heavy breathing can be heard coming from the crack.
As the arms pull themselves up, gauntlets around the wrists
are revealed. A purple-and-green costume. A mask. Legs.
The Prowler emerges!
[28 - Squeaky Clean!]
THE PROWLER
Glass...
He can barely catch his breath.
THE PROWLER (CONT’D)
Windows, huh?
He continues to breath heavily.
Glass shards begin to form around him, a green energy
surrounding them as they begin to move at high speeds.
THE PROWLER (CONT’D)
You wanted me to clean GLASS
WINDOWS!?!?!
SOUNDTRACK START: [SACRED HEART - DIO]
Venom snarls.
VENOM
ENOUGH! KILL THEEEEMM!
Beck grins and Ash reaches for his chainsaw as glass flies
towards Kingpin.
All around them, the hordes of Eddie’s Hell rally behind
their king!
Venom’s face finally seals, his form shaping into something
more recognizable.
[29 - King VENUMMM]
The hordes begin to circle around the pit, swirling in like a
quickly-closing spiral!
 37.

Ash Williams, now with renewed confidence, pushes up against

the titan-like Kingpin, his chainsaw sliding onto his arm.
The motor roars to life upon reconnecting, and he grins,
arching his arm around his back to slice at Kingpin's wrist!
The chainsaw grinds through, a dark, oily substance splurging
freely from the wound!
THE KINGPIN
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Kingpin is staggered by the attack and stumbles backwards.
Ash rolls onto his back, looking up at the gargantuan beast.
His eyes gleam with determination as he lunges forward.
ASH WILLIAMS
Yeah, you too, buddy!
Ash's chainsaw moves into overtime, revving faster than ever
as Ash moves it upwards. Slicing between Kingpin's legs, it
moves up through his enormous stomach, his chest, and finally
up through his head. Despite the amounts of Symbiotic blood
gushing from his form, Ash emerges through the halved corpse,
blackened and grinning.
Elsewhere, Beck and Goblin grapple, their fingers wrapped
around each others' hands as they push and pull.
As they fight, the rift around them begins to bubble with the
green liquid once more, vapors filling the air with the smell
of brimstone and fire.
Goblin pushes hard against Beck, growling with his teeth
bared, like a rabid dog being set loose on him.
THE GOBLIN
I may not know you Beck. But I know
everything about you. You've gotten
by your whole life, pulling wool
over the eyes of the...
unexceptional. For every lie you
have told to get by, the flames
shall only burn hotter for you, and
there will be no miraculous escape
for you this time.
He throws his head back, cackling with glee as he pushes back
harder still.
THE GOBLIN (CONT’D)
And, well, I enjoy a good mask in a
costume, it hides one's true
intentions. But, really, a
fishbowl? Pathetic!
 38.

Beck pushes back, staring Goblin straight in the eye lens as

he puts his all into keeping him back.
QUENTIN BECK
Keep talking dirty, goblin boy!
This is probably the most you ever
struggled in your life. And all for
what, to kill yourself instead? At
least I died with dignity!
However, within a few seconds, it becomes evident that Goblin
has the upper hand.
THE GOBLIN
NO DIGNITY? I STARTED MY OWN
COMPANY AND MADE IT TO THE TOP,
YOU'RE A DISGUSTING CON MAN!
Goblin notices that it appears that the rift near them is
boiling. He looks Beck in the eye, smiling wide, as he shoves
his hands right into the rift.
THE GOBLIN (CONT’D)
Had you not been so arrogant,
perhaps I could have been more
lenient with your final judgement.
But now that you've really been a
thorn in my side, I'm gonna make
sure you burn for EONS!
Beck screams as his hands are submerged in the liquid, but
suddenly pauses as he looks down at them.
Golden gauntlets seem to be forming around them, replacing
his bare hands with gloves and then glowing armor.
He lifts them out of the liquid in shock as he looks up at
Goblin, the gauntlets glowing purple.
Goblin's eyes are full of shock,wide and dismayed. His eyes
narrow as he screams, lunging at Beck.
THE GOBLIN (CONT’D)
NO! YOU CAN'T, YOU WON'T KEEP
GETTING AWAY WITH IT!
Beck shields himself with his arms, and Goblin is pelted by
small glass shards.
QUENTIN BECK
You wanna bet? I'm the master of
illusions, and this is my comeback!
 39.

Goblin stumbles a bit, pulling a shard of glass embedded in

his shoulder out.
He growls, looking completely unhinged, even foaming at the
mouth.
THE GOBLIN
Time for me to finish it.
A blade pops out of his wrist gauntlet, and he swings at
Beck, growling louder with each attempt to cut him.
Beck takes the shot to the shoulder, grunting in pain as the
blade sinks in, but a sharp light emitting from his gauntlet
begins to seal the wound. He looks up at Goblin as he slowly
rises through the blade.
QUENTIN BECK
My turn to finish it.
Beck grabs Goblin by the abdomen, and calling back to his
time spent on a Wrestling committee, he imitates a move he
remembers helping to stage. He forces his body to push up and
back, bringing Goblin over his head before slamming him under
his elbow onto the rift. The rift emits a sharp light before
the liquid begins to recede.
Beck turns around in awe of what he's done, and as he raises
his arms, he arches his back quickly, grabbing it.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Ooh, ooh, my back...!
His gauntlets begin to glow once more, but he starts walking
away from Goblin, still holding himself tenderly.
Goblin gets up, groaning, and he pushes a button on his wrist
gauntlet, calling his glider to him. As he hurtles toward
Beck at full speed, the blades pop out.
THE GOBLIN
THIS IS WHY ONLY FOOLS ATTEMPT TO
ESCAPE THEIR INEVITABLE DOOM!
Grunting as he rushes towards the unsuspecting Beck, Ash
jumps in from the side, slicing at the glider with his
chainsaw. Though he only manages to scratch it, he is able to
down Goblin as the glider begins to descend lower and lower
until it scrapes against the ground, throwing him clear.
Goblin tumbles off of his glider, hitting the ground and
getting up slowly with a groan, facing Ash.
 40.

THE GOBLIN (CONT’D)
Another one of you? Your tricks
won't work on me, you fool!
ASH WILLIAMS
Trick...?
Ash jumps up, holding the downed glider, and rams it into
Goblin's abdomen with force.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
Looking more like a treat to me,
you Jack O'Lantern!
Goblin howls in pain.
THE GOBLIN
GAAAAH! NOT AGAIN!
Ash sighs, unclipping a grenade from Goblin's belt.
ASH WILLIAMS
Oh, shut up and eat your words!
Ash slams the grenade through his mask, into Goblin's open
mouth.
Goblin quickly grabs his throat, realizing it's too late, and
his face goes slack.
THE GOBLIN
(Mumbling)
Oh.
Ash clears the scene as the grenade detonates, leaving The
Goblin as a skeleton.
[30 - You're Out, Norman]
The Hunter motions to Vulture and points at the group.
THE HUNTER
Kill them!
A sinister grin grows on Vulture's face as he raises his
hands and extends monstrous claws.
THE VULTURE
With pleasure.
Vulture flies after Prowler and wildly scratches after him,
letting out an animalistic screech.
 41.

THE PROWLER
BACK OFF!
Prowler sends a shockwave of glass towards Vulture, pushing
him back.
Vulture regains his composure and cackles.
THE VULTURE
Ever since that night you were
killed in the prison, I knew you
were a worthless warrior, boy. I
only hoped your time in this place
would enlighten something in you.
But as usual, I'm left to pick the
bones of those I slay with no
effort. I'll at least have the
pleasure of having you die once
more!
Vulture flies towards Prowler at a breakneck speed and opens
his beak-like mouth revealing demonic symbiote teeth,
intending to finish off his inferior competition.
As Vulture approaches Prowler, he encases his wings in glass
moments before he strikes, rendering him immobile.
THE PROWLER
What's the matter? Can't hit a
worthless warrior like me?
Vulture growls.
THE VULTURE
It's always a damn malfunction with
wings, isn't it!? Kraven, get me
out of this!
The Hunter jumps up and swings at Prowler, barely missing
him.
THE HUNTER
Hold still, so I can kill you
again!
Vulture begins to glide uncontrollably downwards and grasps
at his wings, unable to maneuver them.
THE VULTURE
AGH, NO! DAMMIT! NO, THIS CAN'T BE
HAPPENING, NOT AGAIN!
Vulture casts a glare back to The Hunter with fearful,
nervous eyes.
 42.

THE VULTURE (CONT’D)
KRAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN-
Vulture turns his head back and sees that he's about to glide
into a large lavafall. He covers his head with his arms and
screams before flying into it, as the Vulture comes to an
abrupt end yet again.
SOUNDTRACK END: [SACRED HEART - DIO]
THE PROWLER
Anyone up for some barbequed
vulture?
The Hunter lets out a scream of rage and pounds the ground.
THE HUNTER
YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT,
DAVIS!
QUENTIN BECK
Hey, Kraven!
The camera turns to show Beck standing, flicking his fingers
tauntingly.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Pick on someone your own size.
The Hunter grins as he walks threateningly towards Beck.
THE HUNTER
I'm going to enjoy killing you
again, Mysterio.
He rushes toward him.
Beck grapples with The Hunter, still straining after his
fight with Goblin, but tries to push forward with his
gauntlets.
QUENTIN BECK
You know, for all your muscle, you
sure aren't as tough as you look!
The only hunting you look like
you've done is taxidermy hunting!
The Hunter eventually overpowers him, throwing him to the
ground and pulling out his blunderbuss, and firing it into
him over, and over, and over again.
 43.

THE HUNTER
Remember this, Beck? I’ll do you
again! And again! However many
times it takes!
Satisfied, he steps back away from him.
Beck's body shudders violently as it crumples, then loses all
life, his eyes rolling and his face distorting.
THE PROWLER
Beck!
Suddenly, as The Hunter begins to walk away, a fog begins to
settle in.
From Beck's body, a heavy mist fades in and swirls around the
Hunter, and music begins to pick up.
SOUNDTRACK START: [MARS, THE BRINGER OF WAR (OP. 32) - GUSTAV
HOLST]
MARS, THE BRINGER OF WAR swells as an outline forms in the
mist.
The figure emerges!
[31 - Smoke & Mirrors]
Mysterio crosses his arms as the music swells to a peak.
Kraven steps back, his face frozen in shock.
THE HUNTER
H-How...?
Mysterio steps forward, towering over Kraven now.
MYSTERIO
Fool! Do you not remember to whom
you speak? Mysterio, the Master of
Illusions!
Mysterio's fishbowl becomes whisked away into fog as Beck's
face emerges from the dense mist.
QUENTIN BECK
Now, Kraven, lay it on this
handsome mug! I'm making this one
up-close and personal.
Kraven lets out a snarl of rage and fires his blunderbuss at
Mysterio repeatedly.
 44.

THE HUNTER
I don't care who you are, I'm going
to kill you again!
Beck flicks his wrist, and catches five bullets that fly
towards him with his magic.
QUENTIN BECK
You don't care, huh?! You just
don't care about anything, is that
right?!
Beck uses his hold over the bullets to sling them into
Kraven's mouth. Some break through teeth, knocking them out
or shattering them, and they stayed suspended inside his
mouth.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
I'll give you something to care
about.
One bullet nudges the roof of The Hunter's mouth.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Aaron Davis.
Another bullet is felt near his throat.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Herman Schultz.
A third bullet aims itself towards The Hunter's brain.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Alexander O'Hirn.
A fourth is felt digging into his tongue. Beck speaks
emotionally.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Wilbur Day!
Kraven tears up and stares into Beck's eyes.
THE HUNTER
Please, you don't have to do this.
Spare me and I will never cause you
or your friends any harm.
Beck aims a final bullet between Kraven's eyes, ignoring him.
 45.

QUENTIN BECK
Quentin Beck. That's my name, and I
want you to know it, because you're
going to care about it in a few
seconds.
Beck turns around and begins walking away, the bullets
suspended as they are.
THE HUNTER
Please, have mercy. I'm sorry-
QUENTIN BECK
Go...to Hell.
Beck squeezes his hand, and a sharp shot is heard as Kraven
falls over forward, dead in his tracks.
SOUNDTRACK END: [MARS, THE BRINGER OF WAR (OP. 32) - GUSTAV
HOLST]

INT. THE HEART OF DARKNESS - MOMENTS LATER

Quentin Beck begins hovering towards Venom, who is being
fired upon by Ash.
QUENTIN BECK
Alright, Williams, let me get in on
the action!
Beck soars around Venom, his fishbowl now equipped, and fires
a green energy at his form.
ASH WILLIAMS
It's about time! I was worried I'd
have to deal with this son of a
bitch all by myself!
Venom lets out a demonic roar.
VENOM
I'M GONNA MAKE YOU WISH YOU HAD
JOINED ME!
As the two Hellish Foes charge Venom, the camera pans away to
face a more distinct corner: the laboratory.

INT. THE HEART OF DARKNESS LABORATORY - CONTINUOUS

From a small radio, music plays, almost whimsical in nature
as chaos envelops the realm around them.
 46.

SOUNDTRACK START: [SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE - THOMAS

DOLBY]
The Jackal begins to scamper around on all fours, trying to
escape from the chaos as he pants heavily.
[32 - Of Mutts and Men]
Prowler spots Jackal trying to escape.
THE PROWLER
Where do you think you're going?
Prowler elevates shards of glass from the ground and
solidifies them into lenses.
He concentrates the suits light into a beam, charging up the
energy and firing out a laser from the lenses.
Jackal is knocked off his feet by the laser beam, he tries to
move fast but is blocked by Prowler, standing over him.
THE JACKAL
No, wait. You don’t wanna kill me
again! I- I’m just a college
professor! Please! Just let me go,
and you’ll never see me again.
THE PROWLER
You're done Warren. I'm gonna put
an end to you...
The beam charges up.
THE PROWLER (CONT’D)
PROWLER STYLE!!!!!
The beams shoot out of the lenses, vaporizing Jackal.
SOUNDTRACK END: [SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE - THOMAS DOLBY]

EXT. THE HEART OF DARKNESS - MOMENTS LATER

SOUNDTRACK START: [JAILHOUSE ROCK - THE BLUES BROTHERS]
Venomized demons of all shapes and sizes begin to slide into
the pit, tumbling and crawling downwards.
Ash fires his boomstick into the surrounding horde
repeatedly.
ASH WILLIAMS
Someone help me clear a path!
 47.

Beck enchants the ground before him, and several demons begin
to slide into quicksand. He pushes his hand down as the
creatures begin to sink, but as a demon slashes his face, he
resorts to magical blasts instead.
QUENTIN BECK
Easier said than done, you know!
Venom uses his tendrils to grab bits of the terrain and toss
it at the Foes.
Suddenly, Prowler creates a shield of glass, protecting the
Foes from the terrain.
THE PROWLER
That was close!
Prowler then sends glass shards towards Venom's direction,
encasing him in glass.
THE PROWLER (CONT’D)
Now I've got you!
Beck nods in appreciation before he fires a magical blast
down the gaping maw of a demon, blowing it to bits. He looks
around, then at a weaker area. He breathes in, then sees
their objective forward.
QUENTIN BECK
Hang on, I’ve got an idea! Ash, go
for the Heart, and I’ll clear a
path! Davis, keep him contained!
Beck exhales, and a massive Mysterio avatar takes his place,
his waist disappearing behind stormy clouds. Mysterio fires
into the audience of demons rushing towards them, swatting
them aside, but his actions are sloppier than they previously
were.
MASSIVE MYSTERIO
Hurry, I can hold them off for just
a bit longer!
Ash starts running towards the Heart of Darkness, revving his
chainsaw as he sprints forward full speed. He plunges his
chainsaw into it full speed, slicing it open from the top. He
pushes his chainsaw further in.
Venom roars again.
VENOM
YOU CAN'T HOLD ME.
 48.

Venom throws his fist into the glass chamber. With each
massive punch the wall cracks.
VENOM (CONT’D)
I'M GONNA RIP YOU TO SO MANY SHREDS
IT'LL MAKE A PAPER SHREDDER
JEALOUS.
One final punch destroys the glass cell.
Prowler steps back to regain his balance.
THE PROWLER
Beck!
Mysterio looks over at his comrade struggling, but he has to
push off the demons first.
MASSIVE MYSTERIO
Hold him off! Let Ash do his job!
Ash pulls his chainsaw out of the heart. He raises it behind
him, preparing to plunge it in.
ASH WILLIAMS
Sayonara, bitch!
Venom screams.
VENOM
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
[33 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?]
ASH WILLIAMS
Ending this!
Ash cuts into the heart, a maniacal grin on his face,
laughing madly.
Mysterio suddenly begins to groan, tossing aside a group of
demons before exhaling fire on the Heart, shrinking back into
his standard form.
Prowler follows in Mysterio's action and exhales fire on the
heart.
The Heart recoils, though halved, and begins to shrivel and
wilt away. All around the group, the Symbiote begins to
dissipate, collapsing demons and tortured souls alike. Barely
anything is left as the Symbiote seems to evaporate without
its core.
 49.

Even Venom, the master of the Ooze, seems to be shrinking,

though his Symbiote stays formed.
VENOM
Nonononononono!
Venom grabs Prowler, Ash, and Mysterio with his tendrils.
VENOM (CONT’D)
You've only delayed the inevitable.
I'll regrow the heart then leave
you three to rot in this pit!
The music stops abruptly, the heroes constrained and choking
as the tendrils wrap around them.
SOUNDTRACK END: [JAILHOUSE ROCK - THE BLUES BROTHERS]
Beck hacks, but he manages to breathe out a few words.
QUENTIN BECK
You...think...we...weren’t prepared
for you...?
He coughs twice.
The symbiote retracts from Eddie's face. A look of confusion
replacing his normally smug one.
EDDIE BROCK
What...?
Beck grins, despite the pain.
QUENTIN BECK
Aaron, I think you know what to do!
Prowler coughs and struggles to speak, but manages to speak
through the pain.
THE PROWLER
I thought you'd never ask!
He snaps his fingers.
[34 - O Snap]

A brief pause in sound.

Then, from afar and above, a tinny echo is heard.

 50.

???
Dance!
Eddie's head whips towards the sound.
EDDIE BROCK
What!?
A stereo crashes from above, glowing with radiant energy as
music blasts through the airwaves.
SOUNDTRACK START: [BOOGIE WONDERLAND - EARTH, WIND, & FIRE]
The sound rips through the Symbiote and the tendrils,
dropping the three heroes as Eddie stumbles back.
Beck falls, coughing but grinning.
QUENTIN BECK
Thankfully, I screamed loud enough
when I found one of your inklings
in my fishbowl! Figured we’d need
Earth and Fire to finish off your
list of weaknesses!
Prowler slowly gets up from the fall.
THE PROWLER
You're up Ash!
EDDIE BROCK
Ah, shit...
ASH WILLIAMS
BYE BYE!
Ash slices the symbiote to pieces with a grin on his face.
Eddie's eyes widen in horror as the symbiote begins to leave
him.
EDDIE BROCK
No! Please don't go!
Eddie scrambles to grab the ooze but slips from his fingers,
retreating further away.
EDDIE BROCK (CONT’D)
Please....
Eddie sits there on his knees. Now nothing more than a
whimpering shell.
 51.

As suddenly as Eddie falls down, the ground begins to quake,

and cracks begin to ravage the earth!
Ash gnashes his teeth, stepping back and away from the
fissures.
ASH WILLIAMS
We’ve got to go, now!
SOUNDTRACK END: [BOOGIE WONDERLAND - EARTH, WIND, & FIRE]
SOUNDTRACK START: [MODERN CRUSADERS - ENIGMA]
On his knees, Venom looks around him at the cracks.
He howls as the earth fissures around him, and he collapses
into the abyss below!
Beck soars towards Prowler, gazing around them.
QUENTIN BECK
I’ve got some kick in me, but what
about you?
THE PROWLER
I've still got some steam left.
Ash finally catches up to them, panting. Half the ground
around the group is gone.
ASH WILLIAMS
What now, boys, anyone got a good
plan that avoids death? I’ve still
got a woman to love!
THE PROWLER
I've got an idea.
Glass begins to collect beneath the three, eventually forming
a large glass disc.
THE PROWLER (CONT’D)
Now let's get the hell out of here!
Beck stabilizes himself properly, wary about their combined
weight on the saucer.
Ash steps onboard, firing at the remnants of demons pulling
forward.
ASH WILLIAMS
Now, let’s go!
 52.

Almost on cue, a spring of lava emerges from the center,

crumbling the ground further.
The Foes fly out as the world behind them crumbles—lava
floods, ghouls and hellhounds howl and the rhythms of hell
itself begin to steer out of key.
SOUNDTRACK END: [MODERN CRUSADERS - ENIGMA]

EXT. UNDERWORLD - LATER

A cut to a small ash pile, somewhere darker and cooler than
Hell.
SOUNDTRACK START: [UNSQUARE DANCE - DAVE BRUBECK]
The three Foes sit around a small fire, helmets off and
brandy glasses in their hands.
Ash raises his glass up.
ASH WILLIAMS
I'd like to propose a toast.
Aaron raises his glass and smiles.
Beck raises his drink, clearly already having drunken two.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
To us. To a job done, and done
goddamn well at that. And to being
out of that literal hellhole!
AARON DAVIS
Cheers!
Beck yells a hurrah, sloshing his glass aside theirs’ before
downing it.
QUENTIN BECK
To the most merry—and dare I say
handsome—gang in the Underworld!
Ash takes a sip from his own. Davis drinks his.
Beck leans back, reflecting on the glass and contemplating
it. After a few seconds, he looks back at Ash.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
You know, Ash, you’re gonna have to
tell us—a chainsaw hand? How’d you
manage that?
 53.

AARON DAVIS
Must be a helluva a story.
ASH WILLIAMS
And a pretty groovy one at that.
QUENTIN BECK
Doesn’t help to keep us in
anticipation, you know. Ever
considered robotics?
ASH WILLIAMS
Not really. I've never been all
that clever. Just good with my
hands in a pinch.
Aaron laughs softly.
AARON DAVIS
That's clever in my book.
QUENTIN BECK
Me, I’ve always been good at
tricking people. It’s just
that...when I don’t, well—stuff
like this happens!
Beck chuckles, a goofy grin on his face.
AARON DAVIS
You know, my life has been a
rollercoaster... well more of a
rollercoaster that doesn't stop
going down, but this whole thing
has shown me that...you finding the
right people who will stick with
you through hell and back is what's
really important. And I've done
just that.
He smiles.
Beck smiles, then lets out a small chuckle.
QUENTIN BECK
Aw, come on, kid, you’re gonna make
me tear up. Can’t have that on my
record.
He looks back into his shot glass, but then at the others,
clearing his throat.
 54.

QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
I gotta say, if you told me that
I’d be getting out of Hell in that
7-11, I would’ve been so distracted
that Spider-Man would get that drop
on me like that.
Beck snaps his fingers.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
I don’t regret any action I’ve made
since we got that job from Jack.
I’ve lived a good life. Maybe not a
right life before, but we made the
right choices. We stood up for
ourselves, and let me tell you, we
had guts for it! I think...
Beck smiles from cheek to cheek, his eyes shining.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
There ain’t no finer class of
criminal than we.
ASH WILLIAMS
You know. In all my years of
torment and monster-slaying, I have
to say, it was the least hellish in
actual Hell, just 'cause of you
guys.
Ash shifts in his seat, taking another drink from his glass.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
I've always been so alone. No
matter where I go, what I do.
Everyone I love is never able to
see it through to the end with me.
And it's just... It's just really
nice to have some folks here who
know what it's like to lose. And
I'm just really glad we got out of
it together, you know? I don't know
if I'll ever see you guys again.
But I want you guys to know... It
was really nice to have someone
fighting alongside me for once.
Ash finishes his drink.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
'Specially some tough sons of
bitches such as yourselves.
 55.

He grins, this time warmly.

Beck laughs, swirling his glass once more before raising it
to him.
QUENTIN BECK
Gotta say, Ash, you’ve got the
handsomest mug I’ve seen in a
while, but beyond that, you’re a
good sport. Even better—a good man.
ASH WILLIAMS
I don't know about that... But
thank you.
AARON DAVIS
You know, even though this was
hell, literally, I'm glad we met
you Ash.
Aaron takes a sip of his drink and raises it again to Ash.
Beck takes a sip.
QUENTIN BECK
I’ll drink to that again!
He raises it.
Ash looks over at Beck.
ASH WILLIAMS
You'll drink to anything!
AARON DAVIS
That's Beck for ya!
Aaron laughs and sips his drink again.
Beck guffaws, lying back on his fishbowl and looking around
at the group as he drinks.
QUENTIN BECK
Believe it!
Beck looks around, then realizes their situation.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
So...where to from now?
AARON DAVIS
Well...I don't really know.
 56.

ASH WILLIAMS
I'm waiting on my ride. And yours
should be here any minute...
AARON DAVIS
Our ride?
QUENTIN BECK
Who’d give us a ride?
Down the grey river, several floating bodies drift downwards.
AARON DAVIS
You seein' this too?
They’re all in different clothes, but they all have a glimmer
in their mouths.
Behind them, a long canoe, empty but dirty. The rower leans
on his oar, glancing at the shore.
???
υπέρτερος, true believers!
[35 - Charon]
Beck exchanges a glance with Aaron, then looks back at the
rower. He seemed familiar...
QUENTIN BECK
What, you mean, us?
Davis turns to Beck.
AARON DAVIS
Whaddya say we get the hell outta
this dump?
CHARON
That'll be one drachma each! Pay
up, or get lost!
Beck looks over at the river, rubbing his hands together.
QUENTIN BECK
Third project I did, Davis—
Caligula. Big movie, that one...
Beck pulls a drachma from the mouth of a body, and despite
the body thrashing around, a slap to the mouth knocks him
under the waves.
 57.

QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
...big flop. Come on, get your
coin.
AARON DAVIS
Whatever you say, man.
Aaron walks over and grabs a drachma.
Beck goes over to Ash, offering a handshake.
QUENTIN BECK
Thanks for everything. We’ll put in
a good word for you at the big
gates.
ASH WILLIAMS
When you get up there, tell
Linda... I'll see her soon.
Beck smiles, pausing briefly in his handshake. He switches
positions to shake with Ash’s working hand, then marches onto
the canoe.
QUENTIN BECK
You bet I will! Now, ride on!
AARON DAVIS
Take care of yourself Ash!
He waves goodbye as he makes his way to the canoe.
CHARON
And we’re off! υπέρτερος!
The canoe turns onto another stream, moving upward and
upward.
A light shines as the rower pockets the drachma, and the
skies open up above them.
SOUNDTRACK END: [UNSQUARE DANCE - DAVE BRUBECK]

EXT. HEAVEN - MOMENTS LATER

Hard cut to Beck flying off of the canoe onto the top of a
mountain, rolling onto his back.
CHARON
ΑΝΤΕ ΓΕΙΑ!!
[36 - ΑΝΤΕ ΓΕΙΑ!!]
 58.

Aaron is heard faintly screaming, it increasingly gets louder

until he falls on his back, right next to Beck. He groans in
pain and then glares at Beck.
Beck looks up, his fishbowl landing in his lap, and he
watches as the canoe goes down again, disappearing as Charon
mutters to himself.
Beck looks over at Aaron, shrugging innocently.
QUENTIN BECK
Well, how was I to know those were
fake coins? They were in people’s
mouths! Nobody's that cheap!
AARON DAVIS
Well next time, don't take coins
from people's mouths!
Aarpn then looks around to see the area. He stops in
amazement.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
Woah.
Beck turns to see the scene, and his mouth drops.
QUENTIN BECK
Wow...that’s a lotta steps.
SOUNDTRACK START: [REQUIEM MASS IN D MINOR, K. 626 - III.
LACRIMOSA - WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART]
Mozart’s Lacrimosa fills the heavens as an escalator extends
to the clouds, the camera slowly panning upward. As Aaron and
Beck embark upwards, they reach a receptionist desk that
stands before them and the pearly white gates.
Behind the desk is a man. A man who was perhaps angry at
times, but in life? He was nothing but a good man.
[37 - Rent?]
MR. DITKOVICH
Ahh. I've been expecting you two.
You've been on list for 70 hours
eh?
Beck grins.
QUENTIN BECK
Does that mean...
 59.

AARON DAVIS
We're in...?
MR. DITKOVICH
Before I answer I must say. I know
you. Elvis Fletcher. We were in
Cold War, yes?
Mr. Ditkovich then looks at a sheet of paper.
MR. DITKOVICH (CONT’D)
Do not worry. You'll be out of here
in no time.
Beck grins, then recognizes the man behind the desk.
QUENTIN BECK
KENT BLAKE, you sly dog! I knew I
could count on you!
Beck turns to Aaron, a gleam in his eyes.
QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
We’re in! We beat the odds! We’ve
won our laurels!
AARON DAVIS
We did it?
His eyes widen.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
We did it! Hahaha! We made it!
MR. DITKOVICH
Yes you did but....
Mr. Diktovich then smiles and looks back at the paper.
MR. DITKOVICH (CONT’D)
You must wait until sentence is
served. Not too bad!
He gives a thumbs up.
Aaron's celebration turns into defeat.
AARON DAVIS
Our... what?
Beck looks back over, then puts his hand on the desk.
 60.

QUENTIN BECK
Well, it’s not too bad, right?
You...you’d put in a good word for
us, right? Old pal?
MR. DITKOVICH
Welll....
Mr. Diktovich looks at the paper and adjusts his glasses. He
then pulls out a calculator and begins adding up the numbers.
He presses the '=' sign. He turns it sideways. He frowns.
MR. DITKOVICH (CONT’D)
Bad news.
Aaron facepalms and groans.
Beck turns to Aaron, then shrugs, an arrogant grin on his
face.
QUENTIN BECK
Hey, you know, we survived Hell. We
beat demons. How bad could it be?

EXT. NEW YORK CITY - DAY

HARD CUT TO THE TWO OF THEM IN THE SAME POSES AS BEFORE.

They’re wearing window-washer clothes, directly facing a
skyscraper. Beck’s grin is gone.
QUENTIN BECK
...So. There were a lot of zeroes.
Aaron cleans the windows in front of him.
AARON DAVIS
This is your fault you know. You
jinxed it.
QUENTIN BECK
Hey, one window per year isn’t so
bad! Besides, we got to pick any
city in the world, and you chose
New York?!
AARON DAVIS
I got homesick bein' in hell.
QUENTIN BECK
Well, I’d do Vegas, or even LA!
 61.

QUENTIN BECK (CONT’D)
Besides, look around you! What’s
this city ever done for us?!
AARON DAVIS
I can think of a few.
Around them, the city is lively with activity, though they
seem to be invisible. This is their sentencing, after all.
Spider-Man swings by with BLACK CAT by his side, the sun
gleaming down on his silver webbing and her shiny dark
costume.
After a pause, Aaron nudges Beck.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
Hey, take a look at what's down
there!
SOUNDTRACK START: [BIRDLAND - WEATHER REPORT]
The sun then shines below onto the streets of New York.
It’s the Shocker Mobile, with the Shock at the wheel and
Rhino hanging off the end of the buggy!
Despite Rhino’s feet sweeping through the corner of a
building, they seem to be heisting better than before.
Hot on their tail is a group of ARMED, SILVER-CLOTHED
MERCENARY LOOKALIKES, but they’re not very effective against
the superior engineering of the Shocker.
Aaron lets out a hearty laugh and grins.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
Reminds me of the old days.
SOUNDTRACK END: [BIRDLAND - WEATHER REPORT]
Beck nods, and several small drops of water seem to fall as
he does.
QUENTIN BECK
Yeah...they’ve really...gone far,
huh?
AARON DAVIS
Yeah...
Tears begin to fall from his face.
 62.

Beck lightly gnashes his teeth, then gets to scrubbing, a

sarcastic note in his voice. He can’t help but smile.
QUENTIN BECK
Well...hey, come on! I’m not
crying...it’s just...soap! The more
windows we clean, the sooner we can
get out of here! Don’t get soft on
me, Davis!
Aaron laughs and smiles through the tears.
AARON DAVIS
I wasn't getting soft, I just got
something stuck in my eye.
He continues to clean the window.
AARON DAVIS (CONT’D)
What did we do to deserve this
again? All I remember is some petty
robbery!
Beck turns, his tears having dried, and smiles.
QUENTIN BECK
You want me to go over it again,
really?
AARON DAVIS
...Naa, you don't need to go over
the whole thing.
SOUNDTRACK START: [LITTLE GREEN BAG - GEORGE BAKER]
QUENTIN BECK
Alright, the whole story, let’s go!
Back in a little prison, we all met
in a group with Big Wheel and a few
other losers, but we’re the ones
who matter here!
AARON DAVIS
I remember now.
QUENTIN BECK
Then we got that guy Jack, and he
got our weapons back! We beat down
a few guards, but we escaped.
Raided a 7-11 on the way, too.
AARON DAVIS
Beck...
 63.

QUENTIN BECK
Then we designed our tools, and we
realized Jack was a psycho, so we
turned on him and did our own
heist! Moon Knight got involved,
and Big Wheel too!
AARON DAVIS
I take it back!
QUENTIN BECK
Don’t forget that part with—
AARON DAVIS
BECK!

THE CAMERA PANS UP FURTHER, BECK CONTINUING AND DAVIS YELLING

AT HIM FOR DOING SO.
The music fades out, but the windows don’t stop.
SOUNDTRACK END: [LITTLE GREEN BAG - GEORGE BAKER]
Eventually, two long, metal poles hang from the building,
nearing the top.
A man in a large costume sits at the top, dangling his legs
off the edge.
[38 - Maple Syrup Lad]
The man is revealed to be Wilbur Day, the Stilt-Man. He looks
right into the camera.
STILT-MAN
Hey, someone's gotta be their
guardian angel, right?
Stilt-Man grabs a small bottle of maple syrup from a
compartment in his metal suit.
STILT-MAN (CONT’D)
Not only do I get some great views
up here, but I get to see how my
great my friends are doing...
Stilt-Man takes a swig of the sweet sugary syrup and gives a
big heartfelt smile, with tears forming in his eyes.
STILT-MAN (CONT’D)
My best friends.
CUT TO BLACK.
 64.

[39 - The Spectacular Foes Go To Hell Credits]

SOUNDTRACK START: [GREEN SHIRT - ELVIS COSTELLO]
SOUNDTRACK END: [GREEN SHIRT - ELVIS COSTELLO]
 65.

POST CREDITS SCENE

EXT. HOLLYWOOD - DAY

SOUNDTRACK START: [MIRACLE MAN - ELVIS COSTELLO]
A red, swirling portal opens. Ash Williams steps out.
ASH WILLIAMS
Of course the damn portal spits me
out right here!

THE PORTAL TO HELL CLOSES, AND THE CAMERA ZOOMS OUT. IT’S THE
‘O’ IN HOLLYWOOD.
Suddenly, from his foot, a slithering noise can be heard.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
The hell?
Ash looks down at his chainsaw.
A small, shining piece of the Symbiote jumps from the
chainsaw, slithering up his body and nuzzling his right arm.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
Yeah? What's your deal, little
fella?
The Symbiote suddenly springs inside the chainsaw attached to
his arm, pushing out various components as it seems to force
it off.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit! Get out
of there you son of a...
Suddenly, the chainsaw goes flying, and Ash’s arm has...a new
hand on it. It’s black, but it’s a hand, fitted perfectly to
his arm.
Ash grabs the hand, attempting to pull it off.
The hand seems to move perfectly in sync, stretching as Ash’s
wrist motions to do so, then splays itself outwards with his
motions. The Symbiote purrs, almost distressed.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
What, you don't like that? Okay...
Ash moves the hand around, attempting to open and close it.
 66.

It syncs perfectly with Ash, probably even better than his

left hand.
It even shifts itself into a shimmering chainsaw replica.
Ash laughs, opening and closing his new fist.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
Alright. Okay. Could take some
getting used to, but...
Ash closes his fist tightly, pumping it up into the air, a
grin on his face.
ASH WILLIAMS (CONT’D)
Hail to the king, baby!
♪ Well, don’t you know that I know that walking on the water
won’t make me a miracle man? ♪
THE END