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    Invaders From Planet XXX - The Screenplay
    Invaders From Planet XXX - The Screenplay
    Invaders From Planet XXX - The Screenplay
    Ebook123 pages1 hour

    Invaders From Planet XXX - The Screenplay

    By Brad D. Sibbersen

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    About this ebook

    Back in the early 2000s I was approached to write a screenplay for a juvenile, 1980s style sex comedy. The only instructions I were given were that it feature sexy alien ladies on the prowl for male victims, and that it contain ample female nudity. Being who I am, the first thing I decided was that one of the two main characters – a pair of overstimulated young men in their early twenties – would be gay, essentially undermining the entire premise. Then I just dove in, writing the entire thing over a couple of weekends in two long sessions, one draft. The end result is absurd, ridiculous, about as politically incorrect as you'd imagine, and, at times, kind of hilarious. It ain't art, but when the movie went unproduced, the producer vanished without paying me, and the rights reverted back to yours truly, I figured it would be nice if someone got to see it. So here it is, in all its non-glory: Invaders From Planet XXX. That's not the original title, by the way. The original title, supplied by someone in the producer's camp, was even sillier. Presented in an approximation of screenplay format, so be ready for that. The nifty-keen cover art comes courtesy of user prettysleepy1, via Pixabay. One last thing: try not to be too offended. This script was inspired by the early 1980s. It was a very different time.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherInept Concepts
    Release dateMay 19, 2019
    ISBN9781393166344
    Invaders From Planet XXX - The Screenplay

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      Book preview

      Invaders From Planet XXX - The Screenplay - Brad D. Sibbersen

      Table of Contents

      Invaders From Planet XXX - The Screenplay

      ©2009 Brad D. Sibbersen. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any manner whatsoever without the express written consent of the publisher, save for brief passages quoted in the context of reviews or scholarly works. This screenplay is a work of fiction. All elements are creations of the author, or are used fictitiously. No similarity between any institution, product, or individual, living or dead, is intended or should be inferred, and if such exists is purely coincidental.

      1. EXT., SPACE (NIGHT, AS IF IT MATTERS)

      Slowly, ponderously, a majestic starcraft enters the

      starfield, moving elegantly against the backdrop of stars and

      planets.  The ship is covered with blinking lights and

      several portholes, also lit, are visible.  It is an awe

      inspiring sight.

      2. INT., SHIP, NIGHT

      A beautiful girl, Juliet, stands near a clearly-marked fuel

      vat, attempting to use the reflective surface of another vat

      to dry her hair with an Earth-style hair dryer. Suddenly it

      slips from her hands and falls in the open vat. There is a

      bright flash and everything goes dark.

      3. EXT. SPACE

      The elegant ship suddenly lurches drunkenly, shudders, and

      stops. All of the lights go out.

      JULIET

      Captain! I did it again!

      4. TITLE SEQUENCE:

      TALES THAT WILL CRACK YOUR NERVES LIKE A WHIP PRESENTS:

      INVADERS FROM PLANET XXX!

      5. EXT., SPACE

      The ship floats dead in space.

      6. INT., SHIP, NIGHT

      Four beautiful alien girls, in cliched space outfits that

      look like something out of an old sci-fi movie, are gathered

      around a starchart. The girl who dropped the hair dryer,

      Juliet, is there, as is the Captain, Desdemona. The others

      are bespectacled science officer Tina and security officer

      Beth. While the other three girls seem concerned about their

      current predicament, Juliet is not even paying attention,

      instead dancing around to music on her headphones. Desdemona

      angrily pulls the headphones off.

      DESDEMONA

      Stop wasting power!

      Juliet pouts.

      DESDEMONA

      "Ladies, the situation is grim.

      There are only two planets our

      impulse power will allow us to

      reach..."

      Desdemona points to a point on the starchart marked "Planet

      X".

      DESDEMONA

      This is the first...

      JULIET

      "There's actually a planet called

      'Planet X'? That's ridiculous."

      BETH

      "That's Planet Ten, you brain-dead

      bimbo."

      DESDEMONA

      "That's enough. Planet Ten is not

      believed to support life. However,

      our second option [she points to

      the chart], here, does support life

      that is not only carbon-based, but

      humanoid in nature. We should be

      able to easily metabolize the fuel

      we need by... borrowing what we

      need from the locals."

      BETH

      (smirking)

      "And if their male gender is as

      easily manipulated as ours, this

      should be a snap!"

      TINA

      What is this planet?

      Dramatic zoom into Desdemona as she grins evilly.

      DESDEMONA

      The locals call it... Mars.

      Desdemona glances at the chart again.

      DESDEMONA

      "Oh, sorry, 'Earth'. They call it

      'Earth'."

      7. EXT., EARTH, A FARM SOMEWHERE IN FLORIDA, NIGHT.

      Two rednecks, Earl and Daryl, stand in a field. Earl is

      obviously having relations with the rear end of a sheep that

      is just viable in the frame. Daryl video tapes him.

      EARL

      You gittin' this?

      DARYL

      Relax, I got the 'night vision' on.

      EARL

      "Woooo-heeee! Jest like Paris

      Hilton!"

      DARYL

      (Concentrating)

      "You sure yer puttin' it in the

      right hole? You ain't fuckin' that

      sheep Muslim style are ya?"

      EARL

      "I dunno - damn holes is so close

      together it's hard t' tell."

      DARYL

      "Well you better be careful;

      sodomy's illegal in this county."

      Suddenly the two are briefly lit up by something bright in

      the sky. They look up and follow its journey across the

      horizon in awe. Daryl remembers at the last moment to try to

      catch some of it on tape. After a few moments, the light is

      gone.

      EARL

      Did you see that?

      DARYL

      "It's like that story 'The Colour

      Out of Space'..."

      EARL

      "What? Where'd you hear somethin'

      like that?"

      DARYL

      I read it in a book!

      EARL

      (Going back to work on the

      sheep)

      A book! You are a goddamned queer!

      SHEEP

      Baaaaaaa!

      8. EXT., EARTH, MAKEOUT POINT, NIGHT.

      A car is parked at makeout point, shaking back and forth as

      the unseen couple ravage each other. Suddenly it, too, is

      briefly lit up by the bright, falling light in the sky. We

      see the guy in the car, Tyler True, for the first time when

      he sits up in surprise:

      TYLER

      Did you see that??!

      Tyler's partner sits up as well and we realize he, Keith, is

      also a male.  This is a gay couple!

      KEITH

      See what?

      TYLER

      "It looked like a meteor or

      something- it landed just over the

      hill! We should go check it out!"

      KEITH

      "Have you ever seen a movie in your

      entire life? Forget it."

      The couple goes back to making out.

      9. INT., A CALL CENTER, DAY

      We pan across several people in business casual wear chatting

      on the phone. This is obviously a call center for

      troubleshooting some sort of computer issues, as evidenced

      from the snippets

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