Honey Heist

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It’s HoneyCon 2018.

You are about to undertake The Greatest You have two stats: Bear and Criminal. Both start at 3. Use
Heist the World Has Ever Seen. Two things: Bear to: maul stuff, run and climb, shrug off damage, scare people,
and generally do bear stuff. Use Criminal to: do anything not
You have a complex plan that requires precise planning. directly related to being a bear.

You are a .

When you act (and the outcome is in doubt) roll a D6. If it’s equal
to or under the relevant stat, you succeed. If it’s over, you fail. If
Roll 3d6 to determine your Descriptor, your Role, you’re using your species’ Skill or doing something covered by
and your Species/Skill. your Role, roll 2 dice and use the lowest.

DESCRIPTOR SPECIES

Rookie Grizzly (terrify)

Washed-up Polar (swim) HEY GAMEMASTER!


Retired Panda (eats anything that looks like bamboo) When a player rolls dice and the lowest dice they
roll is a 6, introduce a twist or unseen complication
Un-hinged Black (climb)
into proceedings.
Slick Sun (sense honey)

Incompetent Honey Badger (carnage)

ROLE

Muscle Hacker FRUSTRATION FRUSTRATION When the plan fails and you run into
difficulty, move one point from Criminal
Brains Thief into Bear.

Driver Face
GREED GREED When the plan goes off without a hitch,
move one point from Bear into Criminal.
Name your bear, if you want. You’re not a talking bear, per se, but
you can sort of mangle human speech through your bear mouth,
maybe? (You can talk to each other, though.) You can voluntarily move one point from Bear to Criminal by
doing a flashback scene in which you and the other bears plan
out the heist over coffee and cigarettes in the back room of a
seedy bar.

You can voluntarily move one point from Criminal to Bear by


BONUS HAT TABLE eating a load of honey.
Roll 1d8 to determine what Hat you’re wearing. This is
optional, but extremely fabulous.

Trilby Top Hat Bowler Flat Cap If your Criminal stat ever reaches 6, you are lured into a life of
crime and betray the party.
Cowboy Fez Crown Roll Twice
If your Bear stat ever reaches 6, you flip out bear-style and lose it,
presumably to be picked up by animal control in a half hour or so.

A game by Grant H. (2017) with thanks to


All Out of Bubblegum, 3:16 and, weirdly, Polaris.
1 HoneyCon is being held in a: 4 You know that the convention organizer is:

Creepy Lakeside camp Cunning and sly

Busy Fishing village Greedy and wicked

Run-down Metropolitan city Clueless and exploitable

Beautiful Convention center Maybe too obsessed with honey

Dangerous Truck convoy A spoiled trust fund kid

Lavish Wilderness retreat Ruthless and corrupt

2 Aside from loads of honey, the prize is: 5


(keep this a secret!) (keep this a secret!)
But little do the bears know:

Ultra-dense mega-honey from especially posh bees This place is rigged to blow!

A briefcase of pure manuka extract worth The cops are en route!


over $5 million
Look – a rival team of bears!
The Queen of All Bees, Once Exiled, Now Returned
They’ve been set up!
Black Orchid Honey, which turns anyone who eats
it into a goth The prize is a fake!

Abraham Lincoln’s beehive, thought to be haunted The bees are angry!


by his ghost

Miss Universe 2018, an especially attractive bee

3
(roll twice) (roll twice)
The convention’s prizes are protected by:

Armed guards

Electronically-locked doors

Laser tripwire grids

CCTV network

An “impenetrable” vault

Poison gas

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