Table of Contents

Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Foreword
Preface
Introduction
Part 1 - The Males Priority and Position
1. The Purpose of Fatherhood
2. The Male as Foundation and Anchor
3. The Cornerstone of Fatherhood
Part 2 - The Role of the Male: Ten Basic Functions of
Fatherhood
4. Father as Source and Progenitor
5. Father as Sustainer, Nurturer, and Protector
6. Father as Teacher
7. Father as One Who Disciplines
8. Father as Head and Leader
9. Father as One Who Cares
10. Father as Developer
Part 3 - Fulfilling Your Purpose as a Father
11. Understanding Purpose and Roles
12. Fathering the Fatherless
About the Author
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from
the Holy Bible, New International Version , niv , 1973,
1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by
permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture
quotations marked (kjv) are taken from the King James Version
of the Holy Bible. Scripture quotations marked (nasb) are taken
from the updated New American Standard Bible , nasb ,
1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by
The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
(www.Lockman.org) Some definitions of words are taken from
Merriam-Websters 11 th Collegiate Dictionary, s.v., Anchor,
Ancestor, Discipline, Husband, Progenitor, Train.

The Fatherhood Principle:

Priority, Position, and the Role of the Male
(Revised and Expanded Hardcover Edition of The Principle of Fatherhood) Dr.
Myles Munroe Bahamas Faith Ministries International P.O. Box N9583
Nassau, Bahamas e-mail: [email protected] websites: www.bfmmm.com;
www.bfmi.tv; www.mylesmunroe.tv ISBN: 978-1-60374-043-2
Ebook ISBN: 978-1-60374-773-8
Printed in the United States of America 2000, 2008 by Dr. Myles Munroe
Whitaker House 1030 Hunt Valley Circle New Kensington, PA 15068
www.whitakerhouse.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Munroe, Myles.
The fatherhood principle : priority, position, and the role of the male / Myles
Munroe. Hardcover ed.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-1-60374-026-5 (trade hardcover : alk. paper) 1. FatherhoodReligious
aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4529.17.M86 2008
248.8'421dc22
2008004765

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or
mechanicalincluding photocopy ing, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval sy stem
without permission in writing from the publisher. Please
direct y our inquiries to [email protected].

This book has been digitally produced in a standard specification in order to ensure its availability.
 Dedication

To all men everywhere, especially in Third World nations, who

desire to return to the original blueprint of true fatherhood.
To my Dad, my beloved father, the Reverend Matthias E.
Munroe, the greatest role model of fatherhood in my lifea
distinguished man of character, strength, loyalty, commitment,
love for my mother, and successful sustainer of eleven grateful
and grace-filled children. Thank you, Dad, for living the
lessons of life that formed the foundation of the principles in
this book.
To my late beloved brother, Paul, who became my twin in life
and showed me how to love God without compromise. I know
you are now with the Father of fathers.
To my father-in-law, Captain Halton Lockhart, who fathered the
woman who has become the wife of my life. Thank you for your
steady love and support and for being my other father.
To my beloved son, Chario (Myles, Jr.), who makes me live up
to the fatherhood image of God. May your sons also become
true fathers in their generation.
To my brothers, Oscar and Garth, may you continue to be
models of the Fathers love for your wives and children.
To all the members of the Bahamas Faith Ministries Fellowship
Real Men Ministry. Thank you for allowing me to teach and
develop these principles through your submission to the
ministry.
To the born and unborn sons of men who neglected to show
them how to be fathers. May this book help father you to
become better fathers to your sons.
 Acknowledgments

Everything we accomplish in life is a synergistic product of

many people who have contributed to what we have done and
who we have become. This work is no different. I am eternally
grateful to all the great men who have inspired, encouraged,
and corrected me throughout my development over the years.
It takes true fathers to produce true fathers.
I want to thank the following people for their contribution to
the development and completion of this work:
Dad, for laying the foundation for my life so that this book
could be not just a theory, but a result of my living the
principles you taught and lived before me all my life.
My beloved wife, Ruth, and my precious children, Charisa
and Chairo (Myles, Jr.), whose births made me a father and
placed demands on me to exemplify the principles of true
fatherhood. Thank you for all your patience with me as I
developed as a husband and a father.
The many spiritual fathers in my life whose lives and
character further refined mine: Dr. Oral Roberts; the late Dr.
Tunel Nelson; Dr. Ezekiel Guti; Rev. Bob Stamps; Rev. Duke
Smith; the late Dr. H. W. Brown; my oldest brother, Oscar
Munroe; my late brother, Paul Munroe; and my youngest
brother, Garth Munroe; my brothers-in-law, Henry Francis, Jose
Johnson, Steve Hall, and Richard Pinder; and my father-in-law,
Captain Halton Lockhart.
Finally, to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Creator and
Sustainer of all things, the ultimate Father of fathers, Elohim.
 Foreword

Being a father is the most fulfilling job a man can have. As

Christian parents, we have the unique opportunity to make an
eternal investment in the lives of our children.
Jesus often referred to God as Father. God the Father gives
unconditional love, leadership, and guidance. He protects and
allows us to learn by His words. God has entrusted us with His
sacred title: Father.
In the last few decades, society has strayed away from the
importance that fatherhood holds. We have seen the family
redefined so much that, in many cases, the father is not even
present. The traditional family is fading away, and, with it, we
are losing Gods blessing and missing the mark.
Becoming a good father is not automaticit takes time and
effort. We must be willing to invest in this jobour most
important, second to being a husbandas any other career we
might pursue. A father should present the fundamental
qualities of leadership, responsibility, and accountability, as
well as the capabilities of planning, disciplining, and loving.
Fathering is a full-time job. As men, we must train, develop, and
learn to be that which God intended for our families.
In his book, The Fatherhood Principle, Dr. Myles Munroe
provides a fresh look at time-tested principles for men to
measure their effectiveness as fathers in our modern society.
Dr. Munroe teaches how the role, vision, relationship,
management, and communication skills of the father within the
family structure apply to societies everywhere and at all levels.
His fatherhood tips in each chapter challenge me to apply their
principles.
In a time when there are classes, books, and workshops for
every skill and hobby, I would challenge every father to take
time to invest in his most important rolefatherhood. A good
father is priceless, as are the children they lead and invest in.
We need more good fathers, and this book is an invaluable tool
that will indeed help meet that need.
Dr. John C. Maxwell
Author and Speaker
Founder, The INJOY Group
 Preface

Dad is destiny. The words sprang from the page in U.S.

News & World Report1 and exploded in my mind like an atom
bomb. I could not believe what I was reading. Even more
surprising was the source of those wordsseemingly taken
right from the heart of one of my old seminar sessions. For over
twenty-five years, I have lectured, taught, and counseled
thousands of individuals on the subjects of relationships,
family development, and marriage. One of the greatest
concerns I have carried over these years is the male crisis
facing most of our communities. I have repeatedly stated and
emphatically declared that the key to the restoration and
preservation of a sane and healthy society is the salvaging of
the male, especially as a responsible father. But to find those
words on the pages of one of our most popular news
magazines was cause for great encouragement and excitement.
I am a trainer in human and leadership development and
founded one of the most dynamic churches in Nassau,
Bahamas. Therefore, it was a source of enormous comfort and
relief to see that contemporary behavioral scientists,
psychologists, and government bodies were finally agreeing
on a conclusion that many of us who deal with social and
spiritual matters have known all along.
The statement Dad is destiny embodies both the problem
and the solution for the majority of our societies ills. In it lies
the key to the salvation and restoration of mankind. About
twenty-five hundred years ago, the biblical prophet Malachi
spoke of the work and purpose of the coming Messiah by
declaring, He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their
children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers
(Malachi 4:6). The implication is that the divine assessment of
mans fundamental problem is that it is a fatherless problem.
U.S.News & World Report stated that more than virtually
any other factor, a biological fathers presence in the family will
determine a childs success and happiness. Without a doubt,
this secular article read like a Sunday morning sermon taken
from the books of the Bible. It was a refreshing reminder that
no matter how far we as a society may stray, it is impossible to
effectively ignore, deny, or improve on the ancient wisdom and
fundamental truth and principles embedded in the biblical
records. The Bible establishes in its very first chapters the
critical and pivotal role of the male, as well as his fatherhood
responsibility.
Lets take a brief reality check on the status of our modern-
day society and its impact on this and future generations:
Rich or poor, white or black, the children of divorce and those
born outside marriage struggle through life at a measurable
disadvantage, according to a growing chorus of social
thinkers.
[Many social scientists and behavioral experts] challenge the
view that external forces like street crime, lousy schools and
economic stress lie behind the crisis in families. The revised
thinking is that its the breakdown in families that feeds social
ills..2
The National Fatherhood Initiative compiles information from a
variety of sources on the effects of fatherlessness on many
social problems, including poverty, maternal and child health,
incarceration, crime, teen pregnancy, child abuse, drug and
alcohol abuse, education, and childhood obesity. Here is some
of the disturbing data they have collected:
Children in father-absent homes are five times
more likely to be poor.
Infant mortality rates are 1.8 times higher for
infants of unmarried mothers than for married
mothers.
Youths in father-absent households still had
significantly higher odds of incarceration than
those in mother-father families.
Youths are more at risk of first substance use
without a highly involved father.
Being raised by a single mother raises the risk of
teen pregnancy.
Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out
of school.
Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent
home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical,
emotional, or educational neglect.3
An absent father can have an effect on a persons economic
prospects beyond childhood. According to a report by the U.S.
Department of Labor, todays fatherlessness
may bode ill for tomorrows labor force, at least if the
predictions of economic theory are correct. In Beckers
(1981) model, for example, children raised in families with
fewer resources tend to have lower human capital. Thus
economic theory would predict that, all else equal, the next
generation of workers will enter the labor market with less
human capital than the last. 4
Research has shown that even individuals who survive the
trauma and negative impact of a broken home or marriage still
suffer socio-psychological maladjustments. The emotional,
psychological, spiritual, and moral needs met by the loving,
caring, balanced environment of a strong marriage and family
unit cannot be substituted.
It is understandable that there are no perfect human
specimens in the human race; however, social sciences have
concluded that when an individual is incubated within an
atmosphere of love, unity, and caring between two parental
elements, there is a definite transfer of those qualities and
characteristics to the next generation. In essence, the human
family produces after its own kind. The natural, logical process
of reproduction, which involves the intimate consummation of
two individuals, gives evidence that the Creator designed the
human family to procreate within the context of a strong, stable
union structured to provide the social, psychological,
emotional, physical, and spiritual environment for successful
development.
 There is further evidence that there are critical emotional and
psychological needs that only a male can provide, just as there
are specific needs only the female is designed to meet.
Therefore, the absence of either has an effect on development,
despite the seemingly normal functioning of the human family.
The negative statistics of fatherlessness can be reversed by
the power of fathers restored to their place in the family and
their true calling as men. We can reverse these downward
trends and strengthen lives, families, communities, and nations
by discovering and living out the priority, position, and role of
the male in the family.
Dr. Myles Munroe

1 Joseph P. Shapiro, Joannie M. Schrof, Mike Tharp, and

Dorian Friedman, Honor Thy Children, U.S.News & World
Report, February 27, 1995.

2 Ibid.

3 https://www.fatherhood.org/father_factor.asp, February 6, 2008.

4 Jeff Grogger and Nick Ronan, The Intergenerational Effects
of Fatherlessness on Educational Attainment and Entry-Level
Wages, September 1995, Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S.
Department of Labor,
http://www.bls.gov/ore/abstract/nl/nl950080.htm, February 6,
2008.
 Introduction

The greatest enemy of man is ignorance of self. Nothing is

more frustrating than not knowing who you are or what to do
with what you have. It is debilitating to have something but
not know what it is for or how to use it. Even more frustrating
is to have an assignment but not know how to fulfill it. Ever
had that problem? As a student, did you ever take home an
assignment and not know how to complete it but still try your
best to do it all by yourself? Remember that feeling of sitting
up all night, trying hard, failing, and finally getting angry with
everyone, including yourself? How terrible it is to be given
something to do but not possess the understanding of how to
do it. This is a cause of greatest distress.
We Lack Understanding of Ourselves
All of mankinds problems are a result of one major dilemma.
Whats this dilemma? Possession without comprehension;
assignment without instruction; resources without knowledge;
having everything but not knowing why. Essentially, the
dilemma is that we lack understanding. Without understanding,
life is an experiment, and frustration is the reward.
Ill never forget bringing home my algebra homework from
junior high school in the Bahamas, where Ive lived all my life.
Have you ever taken algebra? Remember all those formulas?
For me, it was the most difficult subject in school. Some
students had an aptitude for math, particularly algebra,
geometry, or calculus. I didnt. Learning algebra was a horrible
experience for me.
Understanding those many formulas was my problem. I
remember getting homework assignments consisting of six
problems to solve per page. I would go home and just sit there
staring at those things. No matter what I did, since I did not
understand the formulas, I could not solve the problems.
I would become frustrated to the point of tears. I knew I would
get punished in the morning if I didnt understand the formulas
and come up with the correct answers. What did I do? I faked
it! I wrote down whatever figures came to my mind. Having
some numbers written on the page may have looked good, so I
thought, but all the answers were incorrect.
This is more than just an interesting story. You see, when it
comes to the issues of life, we often do the same thing I did
with my algebra assignments. When problems arise, we dont
understand the problems, much less life itself, so we fake it.
Although I tried to make the figures work out the way I wanted,
they were wrong because I didnt understand the formulas.
When test time came, my lack of understanding brought me the
final result of faking itfailure.
One day I decided I had better learn and understand those
formulas, so I took a tutoring course after school with my
teacher. I put forth the time and effort, and even though it took
me hours, one by one, I began to understand the formulas!
Every time I understood them, a lightbulb went off in my mind.
Algebra finally made sense to me and eventually became easy.
The fear I had was now replaced with confidence.
After I began understanding algebra, I took home my
assignments with a smile. Before understanding algebra, I went
home with fear. By overcoming my lack of understanding, I was
able to approach those problems with confidence.
The minute you understand and learn the principles of how to
do something, then no matter what figures are given to you,
youll just plug them into the proper formula. The figures can
change any number of ways, but the formula remains the same.
Understanding how to use the formula and how to plug the
numbers in correctly gives you the right answer.
Principles are very much like formulas. They are set laws that
govern life and are constant in the face of change. The key,
then, is learning and understanding the principles so you can
handle any configuration, any problem, or any situation in life.
When you understand the principles of life, it doesnt matter
what life throws at youjust plug the problem into the
principle.
The great challenge of life is understanding life. When life
throws us a curve ball, we often just play games and fake it.
Many times, we have to guess and then wonder endlessly if
our guesses will work.
What we lack is understanding. David, the great king of Israel,
addressed this very issue. By divine inspiration, he spoke of
the moral and social chaos in his community and described the
root cause of mankinds confusion, frustration, and self-
destruction: They know nothing, they understand nothing.
They walk about in darkness; all the foundations of the earth
are shaken (Psalm 82:5).
This text declares that the reason why the people of the earth
are so confused and filled with problems is not because there
are no answers but because we dont understand our Creator.
We dont know His principles, His purpose, His nature, or His
precepts.
Three Things That Cause Problems in Life
Psalm 82:5 identifies three progressive components that are the
source of our suffering in life. First, there is a lack of knowledge
they know nothing. Second, there is a misunderstanding
or misconception of lifethey understand nothing and
cannot comprehend their environment. And third, there is a
lack of spiritual sightthey walk about in darkness; they
see nothing. The word darkness in the original Hebrew
connotes the principle of ignorance. In most cases, its use
implies the absence of knowledge. In this context, its use
denotes that men are ignorant or blind to Gods principles. If
you attempt to live and solve the challenges of life from a
position of ignorance, then you are walking in darkness and
will experience exasperation, frustration, and failure.
The text concludes that the result of ignorance and a lack of
understanding is that all the foundations of the earth are
shaken. Foundation implies the fundamental principles and
laws that regulate function or operation. In essence, when
people lack knowledge and understanding of the basic,
fundamental laws of God, all life goes off track and ends in
failure.
When you lack understanding, you will continually use the
wrong formula. Knowledge, wisdom, and understanding, then,
are vital keys to teaching the right answer.
What Is Understanding?
Heres a simple definition of understanding: Understanding is
knowledge and comprehension of the original purpose and
intent of a thing and of the principles by which a thing was
designed to function.
To possess understanding of something, you must know the
original intent for it. First, what was in the mind of the one who
made it? Second, how did the creator of a product intend it to
function?
Understanding is comprehension of the truth. Why is this
important? Because nothing is truly yours until you
understand it. No matter how much you sit and listen, if you
dont understand a thing, its still not yours. You will never
truly own or possess a thing that you do not understand.
Thats why information does not guarantee knowledge. Jesus
Christ, the greatest Teacher of all time, said, He who has ears,
let him hear (Matthew 11:15). He was separating people who
simply listen to information from those who actually
understand it. When you understand a thing, it becomes
yours. Most of our lives are exercises in misunderstanding. We
live from the blind side, and for most of us, that encompasses
all sides.
 Lets take this one step further: if you dont understand
yourself, you dont yet possess yourself. That is why people
who dont know who they are imitate other people and become
someone other than who they were created to be. If you dont
know what you were born to be and do, then you become the
victim of other peoples opinions. Understanding who made
you and who you are is crucial so that others do not take
possession of your life. When you have understanding, you
know what to do with your life.
When I finally learned those algebraic formulas, I knew what
to do with any figure given to me. This principle is so
important. Again, once you understand life, it doesnt matter
what life throws at you; you can work out the problem.
In this book, we are going to learn the purpose, principles,
and functions of fatherhood so that it doesnt matter what the
facts of your life currently are. You will know, understand, and
learn how to recognize the qualities, character, and function of
a true father. Facts will always submit to principles when
principles show up. But if you have facts without principles,
facts are going to control and frustrate your life.
Life is complicated only to a man ignorant of principles, for
principles are designed to simplify life. Principles are
permanent. Principles protect products. Principles preserve.
Principles contain inherent judgment. Principles cannot be
broken; rather, you break yourself on them. Principles do not
show favoritism. Principles are independent of culture, race, or
creed. Principles are the principal thing, and obedience to
principles guarantees success.
 Part 1
The Males Priority and
Position
Chapter 1

The Purpose of
Fatherhood
Akey theme that runs through all my books is that purpose is
inherent in everything that has been created. I have spent
thirty years studying the concepts of purpose and potential, as
well as counseling and guiding thousands of individuals to live
lives of personal fulfillment and social and spiritual well-being.
The knowledge and experience I have gained has led me to the
conclusion that the central principle of life is purpose.
Exploring the concept of purpose leads us to an understanding
of all aspects of our lives. We see an illustration of this in the
way purpose guides the development of products in the
business world. When a manufacturer creates a new product,
the products intended use and purpose govern the design of
that product.
The priority of purpose has its origins in our Creator, and it
has signifcant practical applications for us as human beings.
When our Creator made humanity, He designed men and
women to fulfill their specific functions and gave them qualities
and characteristics to enable them to perform His intended
purpose. From an analysis of Scripture, we can see that God
created the male with a particular purpose in mind. He intended
men to be fathers; therefore, He designed them to be so.
 As we will see, fatherhood has a much broader meaning
than just the biological production of children. Fatherhood is
not a choice for a male but is inherent in his very nature. The
essence of the male is fatherhood. Every adult male is meant to
be a father, and his personal fulfillment is linked to living out
that purpose.
Purpose is the source of all true fulfillment and defines ones
existence. Without purpose, life ceases to be an existence
becomes a mere experiment. If men do not know, understand, or
fulfill their God-given purpose, then problems will arise both in
their identity and their relationships.
Lets explore the implications of the principles of purpose
and how they relate to the males purpose of fatherhood.
The Principles of Purpose
Purpose is defined as the original intent and reason for the
creation of a thing. Through my exploration of this most
important issue, I have identified seven principles of purpose
to assist you in better understanding the nature of life:
God is a God of purpose.
Everything in life has a purpose.
Not every purpose is known by human beings.
Where purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable.
If you want to know the purpose of a thing, never
ask the thing itself.
Purpose is found only in the mind of the maker of
 the thing.
Purpose is the key to fulfillment.
Many of the problems males face come from a lack of
understanding their own purpose in life. Principles one and two
assure you that you do have a purpose on this earth. Without
an understanding of Gods purpose for you, however, you will
abuse your life and, most likely, the lives of those around you.
The solution is not to try to conjure up a purpose for yourself
but to discover your Makers original intent for you, because
your purpose is found in the mind of your Maker. The great
news is that discovering and living out that purpose is the key
to your fulfillment as a male, a son, a brother, a husband, a
father, a member of your church, a citizen in your community
and nation, and a human being in the world.
The Males Purpose
With these principles of purpose in mind, let us now turn our
attention to the concept of the Fatherhood Principle and how
it relates to the males purpose.
We have seen that everything was created to fulfill a
purpose and was designed according to the demand of that
purpose. The unique difference in design that distinguishes
each created thing from another is mandated and is critical to
the function it is expected to perform. In essence, the difference
between the physical, mental, psychological, and dispositional
nature of the male and female is providential, essential,
valuable, and necessary for the fulfillment of their particular
purposes in life. The nature of a thing is determined by its
purpose.
I want to give you the purpose of fatherhood according to
the Manufacturers Manual (the Bible). Understanding the
purpose for the male is a critical and necessary step in
understanding fatherhood, because the male was designated
(design-ated) a father by the Creator. God was thinking father
when He created man. As a matter of fact, buried in every boy
is the potential of being a father. This means that God intends
every boy to grow up into fatherhood. Again, I am not just
talking about the males biological ability to father offspring.
Being a father is rooted in Gods image because God is
Father. He is not satisfied until the father comes out of the boy.
Fatherhood is the design and destiny of the male.
What Is Father?
We should begin with the meaning of father because one of
the greatest dangers to society is the misconception of what
fatherhood is. Definitions determine interpretations; thus, we
must start here. In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for
father is ab. Abba, meaning Daddy, comes from this word.
In the New Testament, the Greek word for father is pater. So,
you have ab and abba in Old Testament Hebrew and pater in
New Testament Greek.
What do ab and pater mean? These words denote very basic
concepts that include the following:
Source
Nourisher
 Sustainer
Supporter
Founder
Protector
The source of a thing is its ab or father. As the source, the
ab sustains and maintains. Another aspect of the meaning of
the word father is upholder. Father is the source that
upholds everything that comes from it.
There are some other English words related to ab and pater
that describe fatherhood and are absolutely essential to the
purpose of a father. Dont skim over the following words; they
are loaded with meaning:
Progenitor
This term comes from the Latin meaning to beget forth. It
also denotes precurser or originator. A father is the
initiator or source. Generations come from the ab and pater
the fathernot the mother. God created man to be fatherthe
progenitor, source, and supporter of generations. The ab
generates everything. Thats why there is no seed in women;
the male is designed as progenitor.
Ancestor. Ab also refers to ancestor.5 The English words
ancestor and ancestry ultimately come from the same Latin
verb antecedere, meaning to go before or precede. At the
start of an ancestral line is the father. He begins the heritage for
all his seed. This is very important. The man (father) was given
the responsibility not only to start and provide the future
generation, but also to give that generation an identity.
For example, when a child is born, it normally takes its
fathers last name, not its mothers name. When you use both
names, you are attempting to claim and produce two
generations and two identities instead of one. This causes
much confusion in the offspring.
In Scripture, there is no such thing as the son of two fathers.
God always speaks of lineage to one manthe father. James,
the son of Zebedee, was Zebedees son, not the son of
Zebedees wifes father. Why is that important? Because the
minute you start bringing in another ancestry or lineage, you
split the fatherhood. There can be only one source. That is
why the Bible says, For this reason a man will leave his
father and mother... (Matthew 19:5, emphasis added). When a
woman marries, her husband fulfills the roles of sustainer and
supporter and so on, which her father once fulfilled.
Hard to understand? Then consider this very carefully: the
wife doesnt carry her husbands fathers name. She takes on
whatever the husband is called. Why? All men are fathers. Its
tough being a man, because whomever you marry becomes
your offspring, so to speak. Thats what God intended, and
thats why wives take on their husbands names. The husband
becomes responsible for his wife one hundred percent. He
provides, sustains, nourishes, upholds, and supports. Jesus
Himself is never referred to as the Son of Mary in Scripture,
but rather as the Son of God. The Holy Spirit will come
upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow
you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God
(Luke 1:35).
I know that Jesus was single, but He understood the
principle of marriage as explained in Matthew 19. Thats why,
when the disciples learned this principle from Jesus, they said
it was better to stay single! (See verse 10.) When you marry a
woman, you are not taking on some sex object. You are not
taking on someone to brag about, saying, Thats my woman.
No, thats your wife, whom you have committed to sustain and
support spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Even the bride
of Christ, the church, has the name of her Bridegroomshe is
called the body of Christ. Jesus stressed, In My name you
will ask the Father everything. (See John 15:16.) We have too
many husbands who are not the ab or pater that God calls men
to be to their wives.
Founder
The concept of father also includes founder or
foundation. Thats why companies, institutions, and
movements use the word father to describe the person who
established the organization, institution, or movement. The
men who established the United States of America are referred
to as the Founding Fathers. Nelson Mandela is known as the
Father of the New South Africa. If someone founded
something, he is called the father of it. Why? He generated it.
He caused the genesis of it. God built the male to found future
generations and to be the foundation on which they develop. It
is essential to note that the quality of a foundation determines
the value of what is built upon it.
Author
Father also implies authorship, as well as the legitimate
authority of something. Father possesses inherent authority.
[Jesus] is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over
all creation. For by him all things were created: things in
heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones
or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created
by him and for him (Colossians 1:1516)
The triune God in Christ Jesus is the author of eternal
salvation (Hebrews 5:9 kjv) and the author and finisher of
our faith (Hebrews 12:2 kjv). What does it mean to be the
author of eternal salvation? Jesus initiated, generated,
produced, upholds, and sustains the salvation of all mankind.
He is the sole Source of our redemption.
If you want to come to God, therefore, Jesus is the ultimate
Source. Thats why, despite the works of Mohammed, Buddha,
and Confucius, you cant go to any of those men for salvation;
according to Scripture, they didnt generate, create, or author
mankinds redemption. Jesus is the Generator of salvation; it
germinated with Him and it is completed in Him. He is both the
Author and Finisher of our faith.
Im so glad Hes not just the Author, but also the Finisher.
Many men are merely authors of babies; they dont finish as
fathers. Jesus is a good Daddy. Hes the Finisher of your faith.
He didnt just start your faith; Hell see it to the end until it is
complete. He will cause you to grow up to the full measure of
His purpose for you so that you look just like Him. (See 2
Corinthians 3:18; Ephesians 4:13.)
Jesus provides the gene for the new generation of man. He
is the Source of seed for salvation. All fathers provide the
genes or seed that determine the attributes of the
generations they produce. In Isaiahs description of the
Messiah, he concluded with the titles Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace. (See
Isaiah 9:6.) How did the Son become Father? He produced a
new generation of human beings. He became the last Adam
(1 Corinthians 15:45) or the second man (v. 47) who
produced the new man (Ephesians 2:15).
Teacher
Father is also the one who teaches and nourishes. This
means he provides nutrients and resources that develop,
enrich, expand, grow, and deploy that which comes from him.
One of mans major responsibilities is to teach his offspring.
Many men are found lacking in this area of teaching and are
intimidated by the women they marry. Let me tell you
something: the male is wired to teach, so you dont need to
know much about teaching techniques. Males, by nature, love
to give instruction. The father-instinct of teaching is inherent
within them. Incidentally, this is why men often resist the
attempts women make to instruct them. If youre a man, youre
a teacher. Get knowledge and understanding from Gods Word
so that you can effectively fulfill this role:
For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come
knowledge and understanding. (Proverbs 2:6)
Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains
understanding. (Proverbs 3:13)
Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or
swerve from them. (Proverbs 4:5)
Some men are so ignorant that when they come into the
presence of a well-educated woman, they feel threatened. You
must get knowledge and understanding from the Word of God
so you can lead your family with wisdom, knowledge, integrity,
and confidence.
Creator. Father also denotes creator. We saw earlier with
the word founder that father is one who founds something.
The same concept applies to the creation and invention of
things; we refer to people who create things as the father of
them. For example, Thomas Edison, the inventor of the
lightbulb, is known as the father of the lightbulb.

Father Is a Title Relating to Function

Jesus taught us to pray, Our Father which art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name (Matthew 6:9 kjv). Isaiah 63:16
declares, But you are our Father, though Abraham does not
know us or Israel acknowledge us; you, O Lord, are our
Father, our Redeemer from of old is your name. When we use
the term Our Father in relation to God, we must remember that
this is not so much a name as a title resulting from a function.
We can say that God is our Father in two main ways: through
creation and through redemption.
Father as the Source of Creation
 First, God is the Source and Sustainer of everything He
created, which makes Him the Father of all things; He is the
Father of creation. Malachi 2:10 says, Have we not all one
Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the
covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another?
God is called Father rather than Mother. Why? It has to do with
function. He is the Source and Sustainer. Everything came from
Him, but He Himself did not come from any other source. The
word God means self-sustaining, self-sufficient One. God is life
and gives everything life.
Hebrews 12:9 reveals that God is the Father of spirits
(kjv). Why? God is a Spirit (John 4:24 kjv). He is the Source
of all spirits because He created them all. Whatever God
creates comes out of Him. Whether it is material or spirit, God is
still the Father of it. He is Father by virtue of His creative will.
James 1:17 reveals that God is the Father of the heavenly
lights. That means stars, suns, moons, and everything that
exists in the universe came out of God. He is the Father of all
that is.
The feminist movement says, Weve got to change the
Bible. The Bible is male chauvinistic because it refers to God
only as Him and He and Father. To address this issue,
some Bibles have been published that adjust the Scriptures to
have more inclusive language. Instead of Father, God is called
Our Divine One. Instead of him or her, one is used. For
example, Jude 24 might read, Now unto the one who is able to
keep us from falling. Or they might even say, The Lord is my
Shepherdess.
 What they and many others dont understand is Gods
nature. His very essence is Father. Why? Hes the Source of
creation. Hes the Creator of all things; therefore, Hes Father. It
comes with having the seed. If you produce the seed, you are
the father. So the term Father is not just something bestowed
upon God; its the natural result of His creating everything. All
of us came out of God, the Father.

Father as the Source of Redemption

God is also our Father through our redemption in Jesus
Christ. In chapter four, we will explore the relationship of Jesus
to the Father in more detail. But let us note here that as the Son
of God, Jesus continually referred to God as His Father.
Through His sinless life and sacrifice on the cross, He restored
fallen mankindwho had rebelled against their Creator and
been cut off from fellowship with Himto their heavenly
Father. After Jesus resurrection, He said to His disciples, I
ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and
your God (John 20:17, emphasis added). We can call the
Creator our Father again because of the redemption provided
through Christ.
As we saw earlier, Jesus Himself is called Father. Look
again at the powerful revelation given about Jesus:
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the
government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father,
Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6, emphasis added)
How is it that the child went from being the Son to being the
Father? It is because Jesus and the Father are one. (See John
10:30.) Ephesians 1:3 declares that God is the God and Father
of our Lord Jesus Christ. When the Son showed up on Earth,
He came from the Father, but they are one. The Father and the
Son are one! In John 1:1, we read concerning Jesus, In the
beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the
Word was God. For His atonement purposes, Jesus is the Son,
but when it comes to His function and responsibility, Hes
Everlasting Father.
For example, when the religious leaders started to talk to
Jesus about their forefather Abraham, they said, in essence,
We know who our father is. They tried to put Jesus down by
saying He didnt know who His Father was. They were
implying, Youre illegitimate. You were conceived out of
wedlock. You dont know who Your father is. We know who
our father is; our father is Abraham. Jesus answered, Dont
you know that before Abraham was, I am? In other words,
Abraham came out of Me; I am Abrahams Father. (See John
8.) Its tough to tell God anything about being a father; after all,
He is Abbathe Source of all created things.
The Son is the essence, the very being, of the Father. The
early Christians understood this. At the Council of Nicea (325
A.D.), they affirmed,
We believe in one God, the Father almighty, maker of all things,
visible and invisible;
And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, begotten from
the Father, only-begotten, that is, from the substance of the
Father, God from God, light from light, true God from true God,
begotten not made, of one substance with the Father, through
Whom all things came into being, things in heaven and things
on earth.6
You cannot be a true father unless you are willing to uphold
that which comes out of you. God sustains everything that has
come out of Him. Through the Son, God the Father made all the
worlds and upholds all things by the power of His Word.
In these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he
appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the
universe. The Son is the radiance of Gods glory and the exact
representation of his being, sustaining all things by his
powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he
sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. (Hebrews
1:23, emphasis added)
In the Image of the Father
With this understanding of father as source and sustainer, let
us begin to see how God created the male to be father on earth.
Acts 17:26 reads, From one man he made every nation of
men, that they should inhabit the whole earth. Adam was
created first (see Genesis 2:78, 1823), and it was from him
that all humanity, including Eve, came. That is why, in the
genealogy of Jesus recorded in Luke 3, the lineage concludes
with, the son of Seth, the son of Adam, the son of God (v.
38). Adam came from God. In essence, the source is also the
abba, the father.
Note that in the creation record in Genesis, God created only
one human being from the soil. He never went back to the soil
to create Eve or any other human being. He placed all of
mankind in that first man, Adam. This is a mystery. Everything
God wanted for the human race was in that one man. God went
to the soil, carved out one male, breathed life into him, created
out of that male a female, and then said, Now be fruitful. (See
Genesis 1:28.)
In that one man, Adam, was the potential for every other
male and female in history. Why? Because God wanted Adam
to be the source of all people, and He designed the male to be
the father. The male is father, not by vote or cultural
positioning, but by virtue of his disposition in the process of
creation. This is because hethe human ab and paterwas to
represent God. God the Father is the perfect Model, Example,
and Mentor for all men who desire to be true fathers.
Just as God is the Father of all living things, He made man to
be the father of the human family. Every man is created with the
responsibility of fatherhood. Every male carries with him
millions of sperm because he is the source. Men have been
prepared by God to be fathers.
This is why every man, whether married or not, has the
inherent identity and purpose of fatherhood. Fatherhood is not
necessarily related to having a baby. Youre destined to be a
father by the simple fact that youre a male. If you are a male,
then you are responsible for anything that comes out of you.
Because Eve was created from Adam, you are responsible for
the female and any offspring that comes out of the female. Paul
referred to this principle and responsibility of the male as the
primary source of the human family:
Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is
Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of
Christ is God.For man did not come from woman, but
woman from man. In the Lord, however, woman is not
independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. (1
Corinthians 11:3, 8, 11)
God created the man to be the father of the family. Thats
why He made the male first.
The Principles of Fatherhood
A principle is a fundamental law that governs function and
behavior. We must understand the basic laws of fatherhood in
order to be effective fathers. The father is the source that
sustains, protects, nourishes, and provides identity for that
which he produces. Men are therefore distinguished in their
role of father by the following principles:
The male is the source of seed. The male is the host of the
sperm. He is the source of human life, whereas the woman is
the incubator of life. It is the woman who gives life to the mans
seed.
The male is the nourisher of fruit. The seed of a tree gets
planted, and then it becomes another tree that bears fruit.
Whatever comes out of the seed is fruit; therefore you, as a
father, are responsible for nourishing the fruit. The seed
supplies the tree that sustains the fruit that, in turn, produces
more seed. Father means nourisher.
The male is the source of the female. First Corinthians 11:8
says, For man did not come from woman, but woman from
man. Therefore, the glory of the man is the woman. (See verse
7.) In other words, the man is responsible for what came out of
him. Since woman came from man, men are responsible for
women and how they treat them. If you are a young man who is
dating a young woman, you are to treat her with respect, as
you would want someone to treat your own daughter. You are
not to pressure her into sexual intercourse before marriage.
When a woman goes out with a man, shes supposed to feel
protected physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
The male is designed to protect his fruit. Thats the reason
for your strength, men. God gave men physical strength and
physique. Their bone structure is heavier and bigger than the
womansnot to beat her but to protect her. Many men kick,
slap, and curse their wives, and they think theyre real men.
They are not real men; they are imposters and fools ignorant of
their God-given purpose. Such ignorant men are dangerous
because where purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable. The
safest place for a woman should be in the arms of her husband.
If she cant be safe there, shes in trouble.
Remember, whatever comes out of you is a part of you. If a
man hates his wife, then he also hates himself. A man will
leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the
two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but
one (Mark 10:78). Gods Word says to love your wife as
yourself. (See Ephesians 5:2533.) If a man loves his wife, he
loves his own flesh. A man who walks around slapping,
kicking, and cursing himself is considered crazy. Fatherhood is
an awesome responsibility because you are the progenitor of
all that comes out of you and must protect all that comes out of
you. Father means protector.
The male determines the type of the offspring and influences
its quality. Because you carry the seed within you, you carry
the type of tree your offspring will become. You also have
the power to influence the eventual quality of that tree by your
character. So I say this to all women: Be careful about the type
of seed you receive in your soil. There are some bad seeds.
Some men walking around look like good fruit, but theyre
really just gooseberries. When a woman thinks about marriage,
she should make sure she understands the nature and quality
of her prospective mate. Whatever you receive, you will
produce. Whatever you sow, you will reap. (See Galatians 6:7.)
Men, you also must be careful about what kind of soil you
use to plant your seed. The seed may be good, but if the soil
has poor nutrients in it, then you will have a sick tree. Good
seed should never be strewn about just anywhere. You want
quality soil for your seed in order to guarantee good trees. The
quality of the woman affects the quality of the fruit.
Fatherhood means quality management.
The male maintains his offspring. The fatherhood principle
is to maintain. The male is responsible for the security,
sustenance, and development of his seed. Fatherhood means
maintenance.
The male teaches his seed. A male is a godly father when he
takes responsibility for his seed and gives his seed knowledge.
The source must train and instruct the resource. That is
fatherhood. Most women are doing the teaching and the
training, but God says that fathers are to do the primary
spiritual teaching and training in the home. That means you, as
the male, are responsible not only for having babies, but also
for training those babies and teaching them to walk in the ways
of the Lord.
Its difficult to lead children to the Lord if you are an
absentee father. Its hard to take people to where God is if you
are not heading that way yourself. You cannot lead your family
to a place where you are not going.
These, then, are the primary principles of fatherhood. Are
you ready to become the father God created you to be? Do you
know what a father is to do? Do you know how a father should
talk and act? In the next two chapters, we will look at some
pictures of what it means to be a father to those for whom you
are responsible in life. Then we will take a look at ten specific
functions of fatherhood.
Chapter Principles
1. Purpose is inherent in everything that has been
created.
2. The difference between the physical, mental,
psychological, and dispositional nature of the
male and female is providential, essential,
valuable, and necessary for the fulfillment of their
particular purposes in life.
3. God intended men to be fathers; therefore, He
designed them to be so.
4. Father denotes Source, Nourisher, Sustainer,
Supporter, Founder, and Protector. It also means
Progenitor, Ancestor, Founder, Author, Teacher,
and Creator.
5. Father is not so much a name but a title resulting
from a function. God is our Father through our
creation and our redemption in Jesus Christ. God
is the Source of all creation, and we are restored
to Him as Father through the sacrifice of His Son
Jesus, the Everlasting Father who produced a
new generation of human beings.
6. Jesus, God the Son, is the essence, the very
being, of the Father.
 7. Just as God is the Father of all living things, He
made Adam to be the father of the human family.
8. Men are distinguished in their role of father in the
following ways: the male is the source of seed;
the male is the nourisher of fruit; the male is the
source of the female; the male is designed to
protect his fruit; the male determines the type of
the offspring and influences its quality; the male
maintains his offspring; the male teaches his
seed.

5 See Strongs Exhaustive Concordance, #H1 and the New American Standard
Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible (NASC), The Lockman Foundation, #H1.
Used by permission.

6 Linwood Urban, A Short History of Christian Thought (New York: Oxford

University Press, 1995), 64 (italicized words are authors emphasis).
Chapter 2

The Male as Foundation

and Anchor
Men were created to be source and sustainer. They are the
underpining not only for their homes, but also for their
churches, communities, and nations. Being source and
sustainer doesnt mean that you lord it over others, or that you
necessarily run things. It means you are responsible for
everything.
The Male as Foundation
The kingdom of God teaches that the male is the foundation
of the househe carries everything. As a husband, you are
the foundation of your marriage. As a father, you are the
foundation of your home. As a pastor, you are the foundation
of your ministry.
Fatherhood is Gods way of building and sustaining the
human family. His plan is to fulfill His vision of the earth as an
extension of His heavenly kingdom. This happens as the male
functions as the foundation of the home, allowing all those he
is responsible for the protection and freedom to grow and
prosper as God intended, for His glory and the expansion of
His ways on the earth.
 In the Introduction, I discussed the result of our ignorance
and lack of understanding about the nature of fatherhood,
based on the words of Psalm 82:5: They know nothing, they
understand nothing. They walk about in darkness; all the
foundations of the earth are shaken. Darkness implies
ignorance. A lack of knowledge and understanding promotes
ignorance, which jeopardizes the very foundations of society.
Foundation in the above verse implies the fundamental
principles and laws that regulate function or operation. When
people lack knowledge and understanding of the basic,
fundamental laws of God, all life goes off track and ends in
failure. True fatherhood is the way to re-secure the foundations
of our societies.
Let us look at the human familyand society, by extension
as a building. The key to constructing any building is the
structures foundation, because the foundation carries the
weight of the building. Remember that the quality of a
foundation determines the stability and value of what is built
upon it. God built the male to found future generations and to
be the foundation on which they develop. Having the qualities
of a strong foundation is therefore essential for every man.
There are 6.7 billion people on earth today, and, as I wrote
earlier, God created only one from the soil; all the rest came
from that one man. God built a human family structure, and at
the bottom, he laid only one foundationthe male. The human
race did not begin with a couple. We frequently hear people
say that God built the human race on the family. Thats not
exactly accurate. He started with a male on the bottom as the
foundation.
We have seen that all of humanity came from Adam. Yet the
male is the foundation in another way, as well. Note that it was
to Adam alone that God gave instructions for work on earth
and for what could and could not be done. It was only after
this that Eve was created.
The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of
Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God
commanded the man, You are free to eat from any tree in
the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will
surely die. The Lord God said, It is not good for the man
to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.So the
Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and
while he was sleeping, he took one of the mans ribs and
closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a
woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he
brought her to the man. The man said, This is now bone of
my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman,
for she was taken out of man. (Genesis 2:1518, 2123)
God did not give any instructions to the female, but only to
the male. All the information was given to the man to teach to
those who came after him. Please keep in mind that I am
referring to function according to creation. The males function
as foundation is not an excuse to exert control over others:
In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is
man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so
also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. (1
Corinthians 11:1112)
Cracks in the Foundation Lead to Disaster
Whether you like it or not, men, youre the foundation of
your family, and a building is only as secure as its foundation.
A building can have a number of problems and not be
condemned according to the code of a city. But if a crack is
discovered in the foundation of a building, it doesnt matter
how nice the interior is, the building will need serious repair
and may well be condemned, and then no one can use it.
God laid men as the foundation of the family, and we need to
be careful not to allow any cracks in our character. If you see a
crack developing, fix it immediately! Do not let it get any bigger,
or the whole structure may collapse. You may think that
character lapses affect only you, but they also affect those
entrusted to your protection, teaching, and care. Evaluate the
current state of your character and take steps to correct what
you see. In doing so, you will strengthen your entire family.
A Foundation Functions without Being Seen
Where is the foundation of a building located? At the
bottom. You can see the walls, the doors, the lighting, and the
furnishings of a building, but you cant see the foundation
once it is laid and the building is built upon it. Likewise, as the
foundation, men are to do what they have to do for those
around them without drawing attention to themselves.
You dont see the foundation. Why? Its too busy carrying
everything. Real men do not advertise their responsibility. Real
men do not go around telling everyone including their wives
what theyre doing for them. Real men do not pronounce to the
community what theyre doing for their families. You just see
the family functioning well and working together. The English
word husband is derived from an Old Norse word meaning
householder. We can say that the husband is meant to hold
the house intact. Hes the glue that keeps his family together.
Likewise, a good pastor doesnt tell the church members
everything hes doing for them; the community just sees or
experiences the results of his work.
Dont ever tell your children what youre doing for them. Dont
throw in your wifes face what youre doing for her. After all,
she was probably doing fine in her parents house. Real men
are quiet about it. They just carry the responsibility.
The most important part of a building is the part you cant
see. Become a man that your family, community, and nation can
stand secure on, knowing that you wont collapse beneath
them, regardless of what forces come against you.
The Male as Anchor
Men are not only the foundation, but also the anchor of the
human family. An anchor is defined as a reliable or principal
support: mainstay and something that serves to hold an
object firmly. Another definition is anything that gives
stability and security. You need stability and security in an
environment that is unstable and insecure. That is a
description of the world we live in.
 An Anchor Secures and Brings Rest
As a verb, to anchor means to fasten, to stop, or to rest.
Those three words are a great description of fatherhood. Men
are supposed to fasten the societyto secure it with beliefs
and principles that dont change. The male is also supposed to
stop things from happening that are harmful to others. I
sometimes think it is amazing what we allow to happen. As
anchors, we can stop our families from being swept away by
the currents of immorality, stabilize uncertain youth, and bring
safety and order back to communities. The anchor also brings
restwhen people have a true anchor present in their lives,
they experience an inner peace.
You should think of your family as a ship, and you as the
anchor of that ship. A ship has no foundation of its own. The
hull, the masts, the sails, the rigging, and even the helm cant
fulfill that function. Your boat may look beautiful on the
outside; yet, by itself, it contains no foundation. The only
thing that secures a boat is an anchor. When the anchor is in
place, the entire hull comes to rest. Even if the ship is beaten,
twisted, and torn by waves, a strong anchor keeps it from
breaking apart and allows it to weather the storms.
An Anchor Is Tested during Storms
It doesnt matter how much you brag about the strength of an
anchor; the only way it will be truly tested is during intense
pressure. When I was growing up in the Bahamas, where I still
live, my friends and I had a little boat called a Boston Whaler.
We worked during the summers and bought our own boat with
our earnings. We would go out and water ski every day after
school. I loved waterskiing and the feeling of flying over the
ocean.
One day, we went to the back of Rose Island and were skiing
when we decided we wanted to do a little diving off a reef. We
found a rock, and we put the anchor on it, but the current was
so strong that it pulled the anchor and actually broke it. Now
we were in danger; we had a boat without an anchor in a
current. Fortunately, the current carried the boat to where we
were able to get home safely. But the experience emphasized for
me that having an anchor is not enough. Your anchor must be
able to handle the rough currents and storms of life.
There are hazardous social and cultural forces and unexpected
setbacks that will control the course of your life if you have not
discovered how to be a strong anchor. You must realize that if
you break under pressure, your ship will become a victim of
these currents and storms. Just as it is not enough merely to
say your boat has a strong anchor, it is not good enough just
to say, I am a man. You have to ask, What kind of man am I?
What currents and storms am I really able to handle?
You can be sure that the first decision my friends and I made
when we returned home was to buy a new, strong anchor
because we knew we couldnt go out in our boat again without
one. Dont go out into the world without having your anchor
already in place. Having a strong anchor takes away the fear of
the current.
Here is some reassurance from our great Creator through the
apostle Paul:
No temptation has seized you except what is common to
man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted
beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he
will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under
it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
It doesnt matter what comes against you or what
unexpected problems arise. Maybe your plans for your life or
your family fell apart. Perhaps things have happened to you
that you didnt foresee. Keep in mind Gods promise. He would
not have allowed them if you were not able to overcome them
through His strength. God will verify your quality as an anchor
by how you respond to the tests He allows to come to you.
Some of you may be saying, But this is the worst situation
Ive ever experienced! God is telling you, No, this is the best
revelation of how tough you are in Me. God would not allow
you to go through it if you werent built for it. If your test is
greater than your neighbors or your coworkers, it is because,
at the moment, your anchor capacity is stronger. Otherwise,
God would not allow that test.
I am personally responsible for securing a million dollars a
month for operating expenses in my company. Im not just the
president; Im the key man, to use an insurance term. I generate
what happens in the company. I am able to handle this
responsibility because the Creator has given me this test every
month, and I have learned how to live with that kind of
pressure by relying on His grace and provision. Therefore, I
dont go around complaining when the money isnt there yet
and asking, Why is the devil doing this? or Why do I have
these tough times? I dont have any tough times; I am a tough
anchor! I have been tested by the storms.
God reveals the quality of your anchorage by the level of
testing He allows you to go through. So if you arent going
through much, either the quality of your mettle is still weak or
you just need to wait a while; it will come. You can pray and
fast all you want or donate millions to the church, but you are
still going to be tested because you know that the testing of
your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its
work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking
anything (James 1:34). Let no one tell you that following
Christ is a test-free ride.
Weakness Is Tested to Insure Strength
We must become men of tests. No vision is validated until it
is tested. A key principle of testing is that your tests are
designed by your declarations. This means that if you dont
want any tests, dont declare that youre going to do anything
in life. The moment you make a declaration that youre going to
do something, life will test your resolve.
For example, if a man says, I am not going to have sex
before marriage, every old girlfriend of his will appear in his
life within the next week. And he will wonder what happened.
He just invited the test by his declaration. Or perhaps you say,
Im going to start a business! That declaration will be tested
by obstacles and setbacks to see if you really mean it.
Remember what Peter once told Jesus? Lord, I am ready to go
with you to prison and to death (Luke 22:33). In other words,
Lord, I dont know about the other disciples, but as for me, I
will never leave You or forsake You. Oh, no, Peter! You should
have just thought that rather than declared it. Now youre in
trouble. Jesus replied, in effect, Peter, Satan has just
demanded that you appear for trial on what you said. I have
prayed that your faith wont fail in the midst of it, that you will
still believe what I told you. (See verses 3132.)
An anchor is tested by storms; it is only as good as what it
survives. Some of you are reading this because God is going to
bring you through something big, and He wants you to
remember these instructions. He wants to make you aware that
you are about to take on a great project He has planned for
you. It may frighten you at first, but He wants you to learn to
survive the little storms so you can weather the larger ones in
fulfillment of the vision. God will test before He entrusts. If God
is going to trust you with something and use you to
accomplish it, He has to test you first.
While Satan may tempt us to give up when we make a
declaration, the Bible says that God doesnt tempt us. He tests
and refines us. Whats the difference between a test and a
temptation? A test is more like the act of tempering metal. The
Greeks and Romans used tempering in the process of making
swords for use in battle. They would take a piece of steel and
put it in fire until it became so hot you could see into it and
determine if there were any black spots in it. The black spots
that the heat revealed were areas in which the molecules were
not close enough together; they were weak areas. When spots
were discovered, they would put the hot sword on a steel anvil
and hit it with a steel mallet. They would strike the spots and,
as they hit them, the molecules would come together. They
would keep hitting the steel until they couldnt see any more
spots. Then they would put the sword in cold water and the
steel would harden. After that, they would put the sword back
in the fire until it became hot and malleable again, and they
would look for additional spots. If they found any, they would
go through the process again. They would keep doing this
fire, beating, cold wateruntil they couldnt see any more
spots.
After a sword had gone through this process, they could be
sure it would not break in the middle of a battle where a
soldiers life depended on it. You never trust a sword that has
not been tempered. This process is similar to how God tests us.
Tempering means testing for weakness to insure strength. God
doesnt need the tempering process in order to see your true
character. He can already see into you, and He knows your
secret spots. He knows your habits, your weaknesses, your
unhealthy relationships, the garbage you have hidden away.
He knows everything about you. The tempering is for your
sake. He allows you to go through trials and tests so you can
recognize what is hindering your life.
Going through a temptation can have the same result if we
hold on to our faith. Again, God doesnt tempt anyone, but He
will allow Satan to do so. When Jesus was taken before
Caiaphas, the high priest, God allowed Satan to put pressure
on Peter; as a result, when Peter was asked if he was with
Jesus, he lied, I dont know Him! Yet recall that Jesus had
told Peter beforehand, in effect, Im going to pray that your
faith doesnt fail in the midst of that pressure, so that when
you come back to Me, you can strengthen your brothers. (See
Luke 22:32.) Although Peter denied Jesus, He did not lose His
faith in Him; he repented, and Jesus restored him. (See John
21:1519.)
God permits storms in order to expose your spots. You
must learn what they are and allow Him to remove them
because you are only as strong as the storms you survive.
Every time you survive a storm, a few more spots are beaten
out of your life. The more storms you go through, the more
spots that are removed. When the spots are purged, then God
can call you His sword. He will hold you out as an example,
saying, This man will defend my cause. Im not afraid that hes
going to break in the middle of the fight.
Have you ever wondered why so many Christian
celebrities crack in the middle of trials? They havent been in
the fire long enough. They wouldnt stay under the hammer!
They havent been strengthened in the water. Were meant to
dream big, but we must remember that along the way, we will be
put in the fire, beaten, and then put in cold water. Sometimes,
as soon as we make it out of the water and think the test is
over, He will put us back in the fire because we need to be
refined further.
Think about the life of Abraham. The Lord told him, in
essence, Abraham, I want to trust you with a brand new
nation I want to build. So I have to test you. Kill your only son,
the son of promise, as a sacrifice to Me. Abraham had to have
great faith in the midst of the test to believe that if he killed
Isaac, God could raise him up again. He exercised this faith and
passed the test. God did not want him to kill Isaac; He needed
to know that Abraham would put Him before all else and trust
Him to fulfill the promise in His own way and time. Likewise,
God may say to you, I want you to give Me your business
this year. I want you to kill it. You answer, Oh, but God, Ive
worked so hard to build it! Give Me the business. I want to
see if you love it more than you love Me. Lately, youve been
spending more time in business than in church and prayer, so
give Me the business this year. If you start complaining to
God, He may say, See, if I cant trust you with this, I cant
trust you with bigger things.
Anchors are designed to secure a ship; thats why they must
be tested. Its too late to test them in an emergency. When a
ship is heading toward a rocky shore, its anchor must hold.
Similarly, when your family runs into problems, you must hold.
You have to hold that family together. If you are the oldest male
living at home with your mother and sisters, and your father is
absent, you are the father of that house. Your mother wasnt
designed to fill that purpose. Jesus took over His familys
leadership after Joseph died. And He made sure with His last
breaths that His mother would be secured in Johns household
after He was gone. He was being the sustainer of His mother.
When the anchor of a family fails, disaster is inevitable. If
you walk out on your marriage, you will not only destroy a
family, but you will also damage the community. If youre a
pastor, and things arent going right, and you abandon the
pulpit before God calls you to leave, you will cause problems in
the body of Christ. Thats not a decision affecting you only
because youre called to be the anchor.
Remember that storms are only for a season. You are being
tested to insure your strength as a father. You will come back
from the storms better than ever, in a way others have never
seen you before. Your best years are still ahead of you. It may
be a seedtime right now. Youve been planting, but the harvest
will come. Let God refine you, and a new man will emerge.
Youre an anchor. Protect your ship throughout the journey
so that it can arrive at its destination safely.
Chapter Principles
1. The kingdom of God teaches that the male is the
foundation of the househe carries everything.
2. God gave all the information to the man to teach
to those who came after him.
3. God laid men as the foundation of the family, and
they need to be careful not to allow any cracks in
their character, which could lead to disaster for
their families.
4. A foundation functions without being seen. As
the foundation, men are to do what they have to
do for those around them without drawing
attention to themselves.
5. Men are not only the foundation, but also the
anchor of the human family. An anchor is a
reliable or principal support: mainstay,
something that serves to hold an object firmly,
and anything that gives stability and security.
6. To anchor means to fasten, to stop, or to rest.
Anchors secure and bring rest.
7. The strength of an anchor can only be tested
during intense pressure.
8. Our weaknesses are exposed through tests. In
this way, we can learn what they are and allow
God to remove them so we can become strong
anchors.
Chapter 3
The Cornerstone of Fatherhood

If you are thinking that being a foundation or an anchor is too

much weight and responsibility for you, you are right. Both a
foundation and an anchor need to rest on solid rock if they are
going to be able to hold things up and hold things together. In
the same way, it is not enough to know your function as a
father; you have to know who to lean on in order to weather
the storms we talked about in the previous chapter.
Build Down in order to Build Up
When I was in London for a speaking engagement a few
years ago, I noticed a foundation being dug for a new hotel not
far from the Millennium Dome. From my own hotel room, I
could look down at the construction site. I took a photo of it
for my seminars because I thought it was such a striking
reminder of what it takes to build a tall building.
When you construct a building, what do you do first? You
build down.
Thats remarkable, isnt it? As I watched the men at that
construction site, they kept digging and digging, and I
thought, My goodness, that hole is equivalent to about five
floors below ground level. They had to go that deep. What
were they looking for? Solid rock. In a similar way, although
you are to be a stable foundation for your family, who is
actually carrying the whole structure? A physical building rests
on its foundation, but the foundation is resting on rock.
Therefore, if youre going to be a real man, a true father, you
have to be resting on the solid Rock.
The Chief Cornerstone
Now, the male is the foundation, but he is not the Rock. Who
is that Rock? It is Jesus Christ. We read in Ephesians,
Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but
fellow citizens with Gods people and members of Gods
household built on the foundation of the prophets and
apostles, with Christ Himself as the chief cornerstone.
(Ephesians 2:19, emphasis added)
Many of us arent familiar with how essential a cornerstone
can be to a building; the way we build many of our structures
today, what we call the cornerstone is usually just a facade. On
one of my trips to Israel, however, I saw a clear example of what
it means for Christ to be the Chief Cornerstone of our lives.
The group I was traveling with was in Caesarea and the area
of Capernaum, and we went to visit an ancient synagogue, one
that Jesus was said to have taught in. Being the inquisitive
person I am, I wanted to learn what was underneath. I always
go beyond what people tell me because Im after education and
not just information. I walked around the little synagogue, and
in back there was a rock at the bottom of the foundation, so I
asked our guide, who was also a Jewish rabbi, What is that
rock? He said, Oh, that is the chief cornerstone.
 His answer made me jump, because I immediately thought of
the verse from Ephesians, and I said, Explain that to me. The
rabbi said, They lay foundations by interlocking stones. In
other words, they laid the stones where they locked into each
other. They didnt pour concrete in those days; they used
interlocking systems. Every rock was carved in such a way that
it fit into the rock next to it and they locked in place. When the
foundation was nearly completed, and they were at the end of
the interlocking stones, one stone had to lock into the last two
stones in one corner in order to seal the whole thing together.
That was the cornerstone. Without a cornerstone, the
foundation would fall apart. If you want to destroy a building
constructed in this way, all you have to do is move the
cornerstone.
As a male, you are Gods foundation for your family, but its
an interlocking foundation that needs something to hold it
secure. Jesus Christ Himself is the only hope for your survival
as a father because Hes the Chief Cornerstone.
Men all over the world are creating businesses and industries,
amassing wealth, contructing houses, making ships and
aircraft, and so on. They are building, building, building, but
their lives are falling aparttheir wives are leaving them, their
kids are on drugs, they themselves are drug addicts or
alcoholics, and they dont have any sense of what is really
important in life. They have much wealth, but everything is
coming apart because they lack a vital relationship with God
and theyre missing the Chief Cornerstone. If you were to be
completely honest, some of you reading this book would have
to admit that you havent wanted Jesus Christ in your life. Yet
you need Him! He is essential to your life. Stop treating Him as
if He is optional.
When we dedicate a school, a church, or another building, we
often put a little plaque on the bottom corner of the building.
Thats the ceremonial cornerstone. Its not a real cornerstone
such as the one I just described, but the practice comes from
placing an actual cornerstone. Whose name goes on a
cornerstone? Many times, it is the builders name. If you go to
Greece and Rome today, you can still see who built many of the
ancient buildings because the name of the contractor is carved
in the cornerstone.
It doesnt matter how important, talented, or rich you think you
are. Whos holding you together? Whose name is on your
cornerstone? If its Buddha, Muhammad, Confucius,
Scientology, secularism, humanism, atheism, materialism
whatever it israther than Jesus Christ, I can tell the future of
your building. It will ultimately fall. But the Scripture assures
us, See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious
cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put
to shame (1 Peter 2:6).
Like the construction workers building the hotel, you cant
build your life on ground that shifts when it encounters too
much pressure. You need to dig down deep and find the solid
Rock. As Jesus said,
I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my
words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a
house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock.
When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not
shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my
words and does not put them into practice is like a man who
built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment
the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction
was complete. (Luke 6:4749)
Anchored on the Rock
There is a concept equivalent to the cornerstone in the
analogy of the anchor. For about twelve years in a row, every
Saturday at 5:00 a.m., my associates and I would head out to
sea in our boat and go spear fishing. We caught our own fish
every weekend, and our wives loved it because we never had
to go out and buy seafood. We became very close because
wed have to watch each others backs for sharks and other
dangers when we were out in the water. We knew we might run
into a strong current or storm, but because we had an anchor
on board, we didnt feel anxious about it.
The word Bahamas means shallow waters, but theres a
place where the sea drops off about six thousand feet, which is
called the tongue of the ocean. One time four of us, as well as
the wife of one of the men, went out fishing. We were diving at
a reef right next to the tongue. As long as we stayed in the
shallow area, the boats anchor held because it could reach
rock at the bottom. But then we inadvertently put the anchor
down in some sand, and the current from the tongue of the
ocean started dragging the boat. We didnt realize it, however,
and the captain of the boat was also unaware of the problem.
 When the boat drifted over the tongue, the anchor really had
nothing to hold on to; it was thousands of feet above the
bottom of the ocean. When we noticed what was happening,
we told the captain, and he tried to start the engine, but the
engine wouldnt start! The boat was drifting over the depths of
the ocean.
That was a moment Ill never forget. Here we were, being
pulled by a strong current, our only refuge was that boat, and
the boat wouldnt start. We prayed, Oh, God, please let the
engine start! At that point, the boats anchor was useless as
our security because it had nothing to hold on to, and it was a
victim of the current.
Night fell, and it was pitch black over the ocean; we couldnt
see anything around us, we had no idea where we were, and we
were still drifting. Let me tell you, among the four of us there
were a policeman, a businessman, and two university
graduates with doctoral degrees. Yet our collective skills,
education, and professional experience couldnt help us at that
moment. Without a solid rock for our anchor, we were left to the
mercy of the current. Our credentials couldnt stop that current
or tell us where we were on the ocean. They also did nothing to
help our friends wife who was with us; she was in the same
predicament we were in. Furthermore, the other wives and
families at home were absolutely panicked. They had no idea
where we were, and they were up all night worrying about us.
What if we were never found?
After being out all night in the darkness, we were finally
rescued. Our families had contacted the equivalent of the Coast
Guard in the Bahamas, and a strong military ship came and
found us.
God has called you to be the anchor of your family. There are
many treacherous influences in the world that attempt to
swallow up you and your family; you are not strong enough to
keep your familys boat secure if you as the anchor have
nothing solid to hold on to. You need rock, not sand, or you
will drift out of control and be overwhelmed. Its not just your
own life, but also the lives of your family members, that depend
on your anchor holding. If you cant hold, and if you get lost
at sea, what will they do? If men dont know where theyre
going, everyone gets lost because you bring your wives and
children with you. However, when you are holding on to what
is solid, they can trust in that and not fear.
Remember, Jesus said that you cant build your house on
sand or your house will collapse. You cant say, Im a man. I
have this, and I am that, so everythings going to be okay.
That isnt enough. As heavy as an anchor is, it needs
something heavier to enable it to hold steady. Im a pastor, a
businessman, a government advisor, an investor, a seminar
facilitator and speaker, and an author, but when my storm
comes, I have to grab onto a Rock that is mightier than I. King
David wrote, From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as
my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than
I (Psalm 61:2). No matter how successful you are, you had
better find the Rock because your family relies upon you for
survival. Lock into Jesus, and secure your foundation. Christ
Jesus himself [is] the chief cornerstone. In him the whole
building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple
in the Lord (Ephesians 2:2021). In that one Stone, the whole
building is held together.
When you have Jesus as your Cornerstone, Gods Spirit
lives within you as your internal engine, and His power
never fails. He will teach and strengthen you; He will guide
your conscience and establish your convictions so you can
reach shore safely. Just as our families called on a higher
authoritythe Coast Guardto help us in our crisis, the Holy
Spirit will direct and protect you in both the calm and stormy
seas of your life. Even if there is darkness all around you, He
will guide you in the right direction. Again, David wrote, If I
say, Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become
night around me, even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to
you (Psalm 139:1112).
Built to Handle the Future
I have worked with leaders who encountered crises in their
lives and suddenly realized there was a void in their plans; they
didnt know what to do because they had never prepared for it.
Its not as important what happens to you as it is what you do
about what happens. Think again of the construction workers
digging the foundation for the hotel. They put so much
concrete and steel into that hole that it reminded me of Gods
process of building men. I believe the contractor spent more
time on the foundation than the building itself.
When God works on a foundation, He does the same thing.
If you make Jesus your Cornerstone, God will build you so well
that He will know you can handle the height of the building. He
wont be concerned about you crumbling. If you dont know
Christ as your personal Cornerstone, dont go another day
without that assurance. Im not talking about religion or
church. Im talking about your reconnecting with and
submitting yourself to Jesus Christ as the Chief Cornerstone.
We have to submit to Him because, without Him, we are
nothing and can do nothing. (See John 15:5.)
Weve seen that an anchor is known by the storms it
survives. What does this mean for you in practical terms? We
dont want to think about certain scenarios, but what would
you do, for example, if your wife died? Are you ready for that?
Could you handle that storm? First, you would have to drop
anchor fast and hang on to the Rock. Next, you would have to
make sure you didnt move from that spot, because your
children would be hanging on to you, looking to you to hold
them together. You would have to stay on the Rock because
temptation might come to prey on your weaknesses during
your time of grief.
As you hold on to the Rock in the midst of whatever crisis
you face, your foundation will remain sure. Then, as Paul said,
you will be able to build a temple to God on it. In [Christ] the
whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy
temple in the Lord (Ephesians 2:21). If your building is pure,
who dwells in it? God comes to dwell in a well-built life and a
well-built family. If Hes your Cornerstone, He lives in you. And
if you are a strong foundation in Him, He lives in whatever
youre holding togetherwhether its a marriage, a family, a
church, or a business. It becomes a holy dwelling place for
Him.
A Man for All Seasons
Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into
practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew
and beat against that house; yet it did not fall. But
everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put
them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house
on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the
winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a
great crash. (Matthew 7:2425)
Jesus said, The rain came. He didnt say, The rain might
come. In other words, both the guy who builds on rock and
the guy who builds on sand have to go through the storm.
One of my greatest mentors, Oral Roberts, taught me an
important maxim: Son, if youre going to be successful in life,
expect the best and prepare for the worst. That advice has
kept me sane. Expect the bestthats a good attitude. But
prepare for the worstthats a sane attitude. We go through
various seasons in life, and we need to be prepared for them all
by establishing our lives on the Rock.
A Scripture verse that helped establish me when I was a
teenager still guides my life today. This verse is critical for
spiritual and personal success: To every thing there is a
season (Ecclesiastes 3:1 kjv). Everything in life has a season.
That knowledge saved my life. This means that whatever
difficulties were experiencing are not going to last. However, it
also means that whatever we are enjoying now will probably
not last. Many of us do not want to hear this, and that is why
we experience depression when we lose somethingwe think
that everything is forever.
Let me suggest to you that even though you are in Christ
Jesus, you are not immune to storms. We look at people who
are men and women of God, who are faithful in service to Him,
who are praying people, who have given big seminars and
conferences and crusades, who have built ministries, who have
served people greatly, but who find themselves in crises, and
we say, This isnt supposed to happen to people like them. It
doesnt matter what kind of house you have, the storm is
coming. The issue is not really the storm. The issue is the
foundation. I dont know what your storm is going to be. It
might not be what your best friends storm is, or what the
person next to you in church is going through. But it is coming.
I want you to be able to say, Im going through a tough one,
but my anchor is holding. Last year I was prospering and this
year Im broke, but I still have my anchor. Im holding on to
Jesus. Its only a season. You have to keep on believing.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every
purpose under the heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1 kjv). You are not
to trust in the permanence of anything on earth except for your
relationship with God. Even your spouse is for a season.
Parents, friends, coworkers, pastors, church memberstheyre
all seasonal. Be prepared for the season of living without them.
We must have our anchor on the Rock, because the Rock has
no seasonHe is eternal. The eternal God is your refuge,
and underneath are the everlasting arms (Deuteronomy
33:27). Even with those who tell you, The Lord sent me to
work with you, you can expect their departure at some point.
Dont necessarily plan them into your future. This perspective
has kept my blood pressure at a normal level. So when a staff
member comes to me and says, The Lord told me its time to
move on, I say, Well, praise God, thank you for your
contribution the last twenty years. Now, what do you need to
help you get where youre going?
To everything there is a season. Suppose your business is
going well. Prepare now for a time when your business might
not go well; decide what you will do if your business goes
through some tough times. Dont panic and say, God has left
me and the devil has taken over. No, thats just a season. Or
maybe in the season youre going through, nothing is working.
You have to shut the doors to your business and go back to a
job. God is telling you, Thats okay. Go to the job. Why? Its
a seasonal job. Perhaps you dont like your current job. God
says, Thats no problem; everything is seasonal. Think in
those terms. You have to know how to handle what life brings
you. You have to be an anchor that is not driven by every wind
and wave.
You have to be tough, men, because the season will change.
If your baby died, or your wife had a miscarriage, or your
business collapsed next month, what would you do? A young
man may say, I dont know what to do, man, she left me. Let
the season go. Get on with your life, and fulfill your purpose.
Be the man God created you to be. Let the message of God
come into your spirit, and let His hammer come down and beat
on the weak spots in your life, because youre a strong man
with Christ as your Cornerstone. You can handle the tough
times. Men, when the storm hits and you realize the whole ship
is rocking and reeling, and you didnt expect it, your wife didnt
expect it, the children didnt expect it, the church didnt expect
it, and now youre looking at the vision, the destiny, and the
dream, and saying, What am I going to do? God says,
Youre the anchorgrab onto the Rock. Everybody else is
hanging on to you, and in your fear, you have to hang on to
the Rock. If you lose your grip on Him, the whole ship may
sink.
Often, my friends and I have gone out on our boats to fish at
six oclock in the morning, and the water is like glass as we
speed over the ocean. By one oclock in the afternoon,
however, a storm may be coming, and since were out ten miles
from shore, we have to start tying everything down. The
season has changed, and the boat will rock during the storm,
but everyone knows what to do; weve already been trained;
weve prepared for the storm. We know to put the anchor
down. We actually dive down and put that anchor under the
rock personally. And then we brace everything. When the
storm is upon us, its too late to do anything else; the season
has come. Were beaten about by the wind and waves, and
after about fifteen or twenty minutes, it passes us by. Its
peaceful again, and we can go back to fishing.
 It will be the same with you. Once you have committed to the
Rock and have prepared for the changing seasons of life, you
will be able to ride out the storm and then go back to fishing.
Its going to be all right, and its going to be even better fishing
because the storm will have stirred up more fish. Behind every
broken experience is a wealthy experience. There is peace in the
promise that nothing earthly lasts, but the Rock is eternal.
The Stone for the Storm
But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not
put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his
house on sand (Matthew 7:26). Jesus calls those who ignore
His words foolish. You may be a CEO or have Ph.D., but you
are a foolish CEO or Ph.D. if you have not anchored yourself to
the Rock that does not move. Men, God did not make you to
become fools. He made you to become wise.
Your family needs you. Your business needs you. Your
community needs you. With Christ as your Cornerstone, you
are a strong, interlocking foundation. See, I lay a stone in
Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who
trusts in him will never be put to shame (1 Peter 2:6). With
Christ as your Cornerstone, it doesnt matter what happens
because you are always winning. You will not be made
ashamed. This is a promise. No matter what your ministry is
going through, Jesus tells you to anchor yourself on the Rock,
and you will not be disgraced. So when the waves crash, let
them crash. You have the Stone for the storm.
What is the cornerstone of your family? What kind of
foundation do you have? Will your anchor hold in the storms?
You can be the father God purposed you to be. The coming
chapters will teach you specific functions of true fatherhood
that will enable you to be the foundation of your family as you
rely on the Chief Cornerstone. Then you can teach your sons
and other young men to be foundations in their generation.
Chapter Principles
1. The male is the foundation, but the Chief
Cornerstone is Jesus Christ.
2. Without the Cornerstone, the foundation falls
apart.
3. If you make Jesus your Cornerstone, God will
build you so well that you will be able to handle
the height of the building.
4. An anchor is known by the storms it survives. As
you hold on to the Rock in the midst of whatever
crisis you face, your foundation will remain sure.
God comes to dwell in a well-built life and a well-
built family. In [Christ] the whole building is
joined together and rises to become a holy
temple in the Lord (Ephesians 2:21).
5. We go through various seasons in life, and we
need to be prepared for them all by establishing
our lives on the Rock.
6. Committed Christians are not immune to the
storms of life.
7. Behind every broken experience is a wealthy
experience.
8. With Christ as your Cornerstone, no matter what
happens, you are always winning, and you will
not be made ashamed. (See 1 Peter 2:6.)
 Part 2
The Role of the Male:
Ten Basic Functions of Fatherhood
Chapter 4

Father as Source
and Progenitor
The Functions of Fatherhood
The standard by which we should measure and train fathers
can be found within these ten basic functions of true
fatherhood:
Progenitor
Source
Sustainer and Nourisher
Protector
Teacher
Disciplinarian
Leader
Head
Caring One
Developer
In chapter one, we saw that the word father in the Bible is ab
in the Old Testament and pater in the New Testament, and that
these words denote source and progenitor. God is the
Source of all substance and all life. He is the Progenitor who
creates all things and then supports and upholds them. In this
chapter, we will look at these vital functions more specifically
and how they apply to us as earthly fathers.

God the Father as Source

God is Father by both nature and function. He is the Father
of creation. God sent forth His Word and created all that is.
All things were created by [Christ Jesus, the Word of God].
Without Him was not anything made that was made (John
1:3). (See also Genesis 1; Isaiah 63; Romans 1:20.) As the
Source of all that is, God was pregnantif I may use that
analogywith the seen and unseen world. He carried the seed
of the universe. As the Source, God the Father had everything
in Him before anything was. So God created the entire universe
and brought into being all that is from nothing (ex nihilo). The
Hebrew verb for creating is bara. The only proper subject for
bara is God, for only He creates. That which produces or
creates is the sourcethe father.
God the Father as Progenitor
Remember that a progenitor is one who upholds and
supports the coming generations. God is Life. He created
human beings and gave them the ability to reproduce and pass
along life to their children.
The highest honor God can give a man is to designate him a
father. Father is His own title. If He conveys this title upon
the man, then it must be the highest designation and honor
that any human being can have. In fact, fatherhood is the
ultimate work of the male-man. Fatherhood is a heavy honor
and a tremendous responsibility. The fathers job is to uphold
and support the generation he brings forth.
Humanitys Identity
God created human beings with genes, which are the source
and substance of life. These genes are passed down from
parent to child. Our genes determine physical characteristics,
behaviors, emotional reactions, and instincts, as well as how
we process our thoughts. At the core of our natural identities
are our genes. When a man sows seed into the receptor (the
woman) and a child is conceived, the next generation is given
its identity by the genes.
Adam was the father of the human race. His genes were
released into humanity. As the progenitor of humanity, what
identity did humanity inherit from Adam? Although God gave
him life to pass along, Adam rebelled and rejected His life-
giving Creator, and therefore death was passed on in Adams
seed.
Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and
death through sin, and in this way death came to all men,
because all sinned. (Romans 5:12)
Because Adam allowed sin to enter the world, his
descendents were born with a sinful nature and with bodies
that would eventually die. His son Cain even became a
murderer. The inheritance we received from Adam was death
both spiritual and physical death. Since we are all Adams
offspring, we need to change fathers as soon as possible. We
need to be rebirthed with everlasting seed and genes by the
heavenly Father, through His Son Jesus Christ. This gives us
spiritual life and the promise of physical resurrection in the
future.
Note that in the garden of Eden, when Eve gave in to the
temptation of Satan, nothing apparently happened. She picked
the fruit, and nothing happened. She bit into the fruit, and
nothing happened. She swallowed the fruit, and nothing
happened. But then she took the fruit to Adamher husband
and father. When he ate the fruit, this is the very next thing
that happened:
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they
realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together
and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his
wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in
the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord
God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called
to the man, Where are you? He answered, I heard you in
the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.
(Genesis 3:710)
When Adam disobeyed God, something went wrong. All hell
broke loose. Human beings experienced shame, fear, and
separation from God. When the man ate the fruit, in his act of
separating from the Father, all his children were contaminated
including his first offspring, Eve.
Exodus 20:5 reveals, You shall not bow down to [idols] or
worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God,
punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third
and fourth generation of those who hate me. Women are not
identified as the ones who transfer sin; men are. So the only
way to get rid of Adams seed of sin is to renounce himand
his stepfather, the devilas your father. You have to renounce
the generations of sin that have begotten you. Only the
Second Adam, Jesus, can birth new life in you and break the
curse of sin and death that you inherited from your original
father, Adam.
Adam did what many men still do today; he blamed Eve for
his sin. (See Genesis 3:1112.) Men are still blaming the women
and mothers in our cultures for the social problems were
having with our children. The truth is that the root problem is
the fathers.
Men, stop blaming women. Yes, Eve was deceived (1
Timothy 2:14), but Adam sinned, rejected his Father, and,
through his seed, became the progenitor of sin to all
forthcoming generations. The fall of man was the result of a
father receiving instructions from his offspring, instead of
the other way around; the resource gave to the source what
had not come from the Father.
Adam, as progenitor, sowed his seed of rebellion against the
Father into all human generations, but Christ, as the Son of
Man and the Everlasting Father, sowed Gods seed of life into
all who would be born again. Renounce the father of all lies and
return to the Father of light and life.
Identity Comes from a Father
The greatest challenge for men today, especially young men,
is that they suffer from an identity crisis. They lack the
nurturing influence of a true father to give them identity. An
identity doesnt come from a gang or the government or books.
It comes from a father.
The only one who can give you your true identity as a man
is a father. This fundamental principle is lacking in many of our
cultures, and its absence is the source of many social
problems. Most young men are running around looking for a
father, and they cant find him. Theyre running to their friends
but to no avail. You cant find fatherhood in another peer who
is also looking for a father. You cant discover who you are by
looking to someone who doesnt know who he or she is.
A man needs to be affirmed by a father in order to confirm his
manhood. This is why so many young men yearn to hear their
fathers say to them, I love you, Son. Youre a man now. Do
you know why being Jewish carries such a strong identity?
Jewish tradition, particularly in family relationships, has a very
real sense of the father spirit. This is rooted in a ceremony
called bar mitzvah, in which a thirteen-year-old boy goes before
the men and performs some prescribed traditional rites, after
which the men say to him, Now you are a man. From that day
forward, that boy takes on a different spirit, for he is now a
man. Thats why Jewish communities are knitted so closely
together and are so strong in business, tradition, and culture.
Jewish fathers tell and show their boys what it means to
have the identity of a man. This cultural practice is embedded
in their history and can be traced back to biblical roots. This
practice can also be found in many African and Eastern
cultures where manhood is bestowed through a ritual.
Now pay close attention: If you havent found your earthly
father yet, God qualifies as your Father. Hallelujah! You can
come to God and say, God, what am I? and Hell tell you,
Youre My son. You must get your identity from Him.
But as many as received [Jesus Christ], to them gave he
power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe
on his name. (John 1:12)
Second, God the Father will say to you, Now mature into
the image of My dear Son, Jesus Christ, and you will grow up
in Him until you are a true man. Jesus the Son, who is also
Everlasting Father, tells you, You are a father. He gives you
your identity as a father.
The principle of fatherhood, therefore, is simple: You provide
identity.
A male can do nothing greater than fathering. He can earn a
million dollars, but if he fails to fulfill Gods calling upon him to
father as God fathers, then he is a failure. He can own a huge
home, have tremendous real estate holdings, manage a large
stock portfolio, and have a billion-dollar estate, but if he
neglects to father his family, he has failed.
A male who is physically strong but weak as a father is not a
man. A male rich in possessions but poor in fathering is not a
man. A male eloquent in words but silent as a father in teaching
his household the Word and precepts of God is not a man. The
measure of a mans success is directly related to his
effectiveness as a godly father, for which God is the only true
example and standard.
The Source of Sin Is Fatherlessness
At the root of sin is the absence of real fathers in our world.
The sin problem is a fatherhood problem, because sin is the
result of a manAdamwho declared independence from
God, his Source and Father. Adam believed he didnt need a
father and that he could be a father without the Father. That is
when the human race fell into rebellion against God.
One of the root meanings of the word sin in the New
Testament, hamartia, is separation. Adam separated himself
from his Father and fell into a state of separation and sin. In
other words, man could be called a fatherless child because
of his own choice. Imagine that. Orphaned by choice!
Homeless by choice! Separated from his Father by choice! How
tragic was the choice of Adam to reject his Father.
Adam became a fatherless child, yet Adam himself had children
whom he inflicted with fatherlessness. And Adams first
child was not Cain. The first offspring that came out of
Adam was a female. (See Genesis 2:2024.) Since Adam
spiritually orphaned himself, Eve and every subsequent
offspring were spiritual orphans.
Recall that God had breathed life into Adam. The Lord God
formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into
his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living
being (Genesis 2:7). But Adam cut himself off from God, his
Fatherthe Source of his creation and life. Again, once Adam
became fatherless, all he could pass on to his children was
death.
A father can create or generate in his children only what he has
received from his father. Father is the source, the creator, the
generator, and the progenitor. Future generations can receive
only what the father gives them. Since Adam rejected his
Father, the only inheritance he had to give to future
generations was sin and deatha fatherless inheritance.
One more point needs to be made here. All too often, women
are lost and making many mistakes because their husbands do
not understand the full ramifications of fatherhood as God
intended. What they need is a man who can teach them about
the Father, God. Without fathers, there is a curse upon women
and future generations.
Turning the Hearts of the Children to Their
Fathers
How can true fatherhood be restored? Salvation is the result
of a ManJesus, the Second Adamproviding the orphaned
children of humanity with the way to return to their Father and
their original identity in Him. Remember, Adam voluntarily left
his Father. The mission of Jesus was to return orphaned
humanity back to God, and to restore earthly family
relationships to the way He intended them to be. Malachi
prophesied that this would begin to happen when John the
Baptist prepared the way for the Messiah: He will turn the
hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the
children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the
land with a curse (Malachi 4:6). When the angel appeared to
Zechariah, John the Baptists father, telling him what would be
the nature of his sons birth, he quoted those very words:
Many of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord
their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit
and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their
children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous
to make ready a people prepared for the Lord. (Luke 1:16
17, emphasis added)
The people needed to return to God the Father. John the
Baptist was preparing them for what they desperately needed
One who could lead them back to their heavenly Father.
Jesus came to fix mans problem of fatherlessness. Many
fathers are estranged from their children. Many homes are
without fathers. Before Christ, Adams children throughout the
ages knew little about the Father because they were born
fatherless as a result of Adams sin and rejection of Him. The
problem of fatherlessness that started with Adam still affects
us to this day. Brothers, our nations could be healed right now
if every man became a responsible father. The ten functions of
fatherhood outlined at the beginning of this chapter will
certainly help point us to what it means to be like our heavenly
Father.
Men and women alike are looking for a father. Without God
the Father, a husband does not know how to be a father to his
wife or children. Without a father in the home, women end up
babysitting their husbands. They take care of the man who is
supposed to be their father.
Jesus knew the Father and became the Source and
Progenitor of a new race of fathersthose who know their
heavenly Father through His Son. You cannot be a true father
unless you have one yourself. The only person in history who
could father us was One who knew the Father, and that person
was Jesus.
Remember the example Jesus showed us even when He was
dying on the cross. He took the timeas well as a few of his
last fleeting breathsto be a father to His mother. He gave
instructions as the head, the oldest son in His family, since His
earthly father, Joseph, was apparently dead. When Jesus saw
his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing
nearby, he said to his mother, Dear woman, here is your son,
and to the disciple, Here is your mother (John 19:2627).
With those statements, Jesus put the responsibility of caring
for his mother, Mary, in Johns hands.
If you are the son in a home where your father has left or
died, then you are the father of your mother, your sisters, and
your household. Why? Because God has called men to be
fathers like Him in order to turn the hearts of the children back
to their Father God. If you understand this principle and
responsibility and begin to apply it in your life, then God will
answer your prayers for provision because He will father you
as you also father your family.
 Jesus and His Father
The greatest example of the critical role of father was
demonstrated in the life of Jesus. He spoke of His Father more
than anyone else. He expressed and emphatically confessed
His need, dependency, and submission to His Father at every
opportunity. He never hesitated to give credit to His Father for
any activity or success, thereby confirming the sustaining
work of God in His life. He saw His Father as the Source,
Resource, and Purpose for His entire life.
Whenever He was questioned about His identity, His work,
His purpose, His heritage, His power, His authority, His family,
His message, His philosophy, His theology, His legitimacy, or
His destiny, He referred to My Father.
How many men do you know today who speak of their
fathers in such a way? How many could and do give their
fathers credit for most of their activities and successes? On the
contrary, most men today consider it less manly to give
credit to another because it is perceived as a weakness. What a
stark contrast to the attitude of the ultimate Man, Jesus Christ!
His perception and relationship with His Father should serve
as the standard by which we measure the effectiveness and
success of true fatherhood. In essence, the level at which your
child refers to you is the measure of your effectiveness as a
father. Consider these words of and about Jesus:
Then they asked him, Where is your father? You do not
know me or my Father, Jesus replied. If you knew me, you
would know my Father also. (John 8:19)
I have much to say in judgment of you. But he who sent me is
reliable, and what I have heard from him I tell the world. They
did not understand that he was telling them about his Father.
So Jesus said, When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then
you will know that I am the one I claim to be and that I do
nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught
me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone,
for I always do what pleases him. (John 8:2629)
I am telling you what I have seen in the Fathers presence, and
you do what you have heard from your father. (John 8:38)
I am not possessed by a demon, said Jesus, but I honor my
Father and you dishonor me. (John 8:49)
Jesus replied, If I glorify myself, my glory means nothing. My
Father, whom you claim as your God, is the one who glorifies
me. Though you do not know him, I know him. If I said I did
not, I would be a liar like you, but I do know him and keep his
word. (John 8:5455)
Jesus answered, I did tell you, but you do not believe. The
miracles I do in my Fathers name speak for me. (John 10:25)
My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no
one can snatch them out of my Fathers hand. I and the Father
are one. (John 10:2930)
Do not believe me unless I do what my Father does. But if I do
it, even though you do not believe me, believe the miracles,
that you may know and understand that the Father is in me,
and I in the Father. (John 10:3738)
Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power,
and that he had come from God and was returning to God.
(John 13:3)
Philip said, Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough
for us. Jesus answered: Dont you know me, Philip, even
after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who
has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, Show us
the Father? Dont you believe that I am in the Father, and that
the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my
own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.
Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is
in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles
themselves. (John 14:811)
On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are
in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys
them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be
loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to
him. (John 14:2021)
I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. (John 15:1)
This is to my Fathers glory, that you bear much fruit, showing
yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so
have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my
commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed
my Fathers commands and remain in his love. (John 15:810)
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know
his masters business. Instead, I have called you friends, for
everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to
you. (John 15:15)
Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming
when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you
plainly about my Father. (John 16:25)
I came from the Father and entered the world; now I am leaving
the world and going back to the Father. (John 16:28)
After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed:
Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son
may glorify you. (John 17:1)
Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true
God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought
you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.
And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I
had with you before the world began. (John 17:35)
Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know
you, and they know that you have sent me. (John 17:25)
Jesus said, Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned
to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, I am
returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your
God. (John 20:17)
Again Jesus said, Peace be with you! As the Father has
sent me, I am sending you. (John 20:21)
Jesus declared, If God were your Father, you would love
me, for I came from God and now am here. I have not come on
my own but he sent me (John 8:42). Jesus was addressing
those who did not believe in Him. The root of their unbelief
was not knowing the Father. If you dont know the Father, you
cannot know His Son. Unbelief is caused by fatherlessness.
Similarly, wayward children, in effect, have no father. They
have no respect for their elders and cannot submit to authority.
Children need to learn about God the Father through fathers
who teach them about Him and His ways.
I thank God for my earthly father. He made certain that his
children respected their elders. He taught me about authority.
My father generated in me a knowledge of what submission,
authority, and respect are all about. He was the source of my
understanding about fathers because he knew God the Father.
Unfortunately, many children today do not have a father in
the home. They dont have the benefit of a father to create
within them the honor and respect they need for other
authority figures. Instead, they curse people on the streets, talk
back to their teachers, and utterly disrespect their elders.
Without godly fathers creating in us a knowledge, respect,
and fear of God, we are destined to be spiritual orphans. By not
knowing our real Fatherand not having our identity in Him
we inevitably substitute a fraud and counterfeit. Speaking to
the religious leaders of His day who rebelled against His
teaching and questioned His identity, integrity, and legitimacy,
Jesus said,
You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry
out your fathers desire. He was a murderer from the
beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in
him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a
 liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44)
Remember, fathers are progenitors. They create in their
children what their fathers created in them. They birth
generations after them that are like themselves and their
forefathers. If they are without their heavenly Father, their
counterfeit father is the devil; therefore, they create
generations that are like Satan instead of like Father God. Satan
is a stepfather who claimed rights to the children of men
when they rebelled against their loving Father.
If you have the wrong father, youll grow up with the wrong
genes. A man with a countefeit father will birth defective
children. How are they defective? They are filled with what has
been generated in themsin, lies, and murderous hate.
A New Father and Identity
Because the male is noted in Scripture as being the source
and progenitor of generations, it was to Abraham, not Sarah,
that God said, I will establish my covenant as an everlasting
covenant between me and you [Abraham] and your
descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your
God and the God of your descendants after you (Genesis
17:7). God established a covenant relationship between Himself
and Abraham, and Abraham and his descendents
consequently had an identity that was fully connected to God.
God did not indicate that Sarah was a progenitor, but He also
promised her by saying, I will bless her and will surely give
you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother
of nations; kings of peoples will come from her (Genesis
17:16). Only the mans seed can generate the conception of
generations. Only the male has generating, creative power. He
is the source, and the wife is the incubator.
Jesus knew that the Jews of His day had become fatherless
in regard to their relationship with God. They thought that
Abraham was their father, failing to recognize that the God and
Father of Abraham was their Source. They had lost a sense of
their true identity. The Jews did not start as a race of people
with father Abraham. It was God, Abrahams Father, who called
them into being. Like the Jews, we need to change fathers. We
have lost our original Father God, and we follow a stepfather,
the devil, with contaminated blood and genes filled with evil
and ignorance.
Jesus wanted Gods rebellious children to turn their hearts
back to the Father and away from Satan. Everything He did was
to get us back to the Father. Again, after His resurrection,
Jesus said, I am returning to my Father and your Father, to
my God and your God (John 20:17). He is saying to us, I
have paid the price; I have shed My blood. I have descended
into Hades, taken the keys, unlocked the door, and set the
captives free. I have risen from the dead. My work is finished. I
have created a new generation of children birthed by My
Father, who is now your Father God. I am going to My Father
and yours so He can be fully your Father again. He sent the
Holy Spirit to live within those who had been restored to their
relationship with the Father.
Jesus asserted that we must be born of water and the Holy
Spirit. (See John 3:5.) Why? Through faith in Jesus, God has
provided a way for us to be set free from our stepfather and
born anew into His family, with Him as our Father. Paul wrote
that we are new creations in Christ Jesus. (See 2 Corinthians
5:17.) That new creation includes a new Father and a new
identity.
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the
government will be on his shoulders. And he will he called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince
of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). Jesus came to us as a Son, a child of His
Father, to show us how a child of God the Father should look,
talk, and act. He asserted, I do nothing on my own but speak
just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is
with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases
him (John 8:2829). Whoever saw Jesus also saw the Father.
(See John 14:911.) In Jesus, we learn what a child of the Father
is like, as well as what the Father is like.
Since Jesus is the Everlasting Father as well as the Son, His
fatherhood requires us to be submitted and obedient to His
every Word, because all that He says and commands comes
straight from the Father. In this way, we are transformed by the
Holy Spirit into the likeness of Jesus Christ. (See 2 Corinthians
3:18.) In His likeness is the perfect image of what it means to be
both a child of the heavenly Father and a father to our own
offspring, so that their hearts will be turned to the Father.
Remember these key principles for knowing God the Father:
As the Source, God the Father had everything in
Him before anything was. Everything that exists
 was in God.
God is the Progenitor. He upholds and supports
all that He created.
Sin is the result of the first manAdamturning
his back on his Father.
Salvation is the result of a ManJesus, the
Second Adamproviding us with the way to
return to the Father.
Jesus knew the Father and became the Source
and Progenitor of a new race of fathers who know
the Father through the Son.
Fathers are progenitors. They birth generations
after them that are like themselves and their
forefathers. When a man is fathered by God, he
produces godly fathers.
Fathers are the source of instruction, information,
and knowledge about God the Source.
We learn how God disciplines, teaches, instructs,
and acts through an earthly father who embodies
the Father.
Because fathers are the source, they must sustain, nourish, and
protect all that comes out of them. That is our next topic as we
understand the functions of fatherhood. In the next chapter, we
will come to understand more fully how God, as the Source and
Progenitor, is also the Sustainer, Nourisher, and Protector. As
the Source and Progenitor, God sustains all that He fathers or
creates. He alone can bring something into existence, and He
alone can maintain it.
Chapter Principles
1. Father is the highest honor God bestows on
men.
2. The principle of fatherhood is that fathers
provide identity.
3. The measure of a mans success is directly related
to his effectiveness as a godly father, for which
God is the ultimate standard and only true
example.
4. The source of sin is fatherlessness.
5. Jesus came to fix mans problem of
fatherlessness. Salvation is the result of Jesus,
the Second Adam, providing us with the way to
return to the Father and our original identity in
Him.
6. God has called men to be fathers like He is, in
order to turn the hearts of the children back to the
Father. If you understand this principle and
responsibility and begin to apply it in your life,
then God will answer your prayers for provision
because He will father you as you also father
your family.
7. The level at which your child refers to you is the
 measure of your effectiveness as a father.
8. Fathers are progenitorsthe source that
generates, supports, and upholds the coming
generations.
Chapter 5

Father as Sustainer, Nurturer, and

Protector
Everything we know about fatherhood begins in Genesis
the book of beginnings. Consider this process of creation: God
is the self-sustaining One. He doesnt use anything from any
other source to create. He is the Source. Before creation,
Elohim, the name for God that reflects His triune nature,
decided to bring humanity into existence. For he chose us in
him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless
in his sight. In love (Ephesians 1:4). God was pregnant
with us before He created the universe. He decided to have
sons, offspring, spirit children who would be made in His image
and likeness.
In His purpose, foreknowledge, and predestinationin His
supernatural wombElohim created His children. His plan for
us was not only that we be created in His image, but also that
we exercise authority and dominion, just as He does. Since
there was nothing for His children to rule over, God spoke the
universe into being. Creation is the product of Gods purpose
for His children. He spoke creation into being in order to
sustain those made in His image.
I believe that God created millions upon millions of galaxies,
stars, and planets in order to sustain the balance of the
universe. This vast universe baffles scientists. The more they
discover about it, the more they realize how little they know.
The universe is bigger and greater than they ever imagined.
Some say it is expanding. The truth is that it is infinitely greater
than anything they can imagine because the infinite God
created it for the man into whom He would breathe infinite,
eternal life.
God Created Everything to Sustain Man
At the center of the universes purpose is humanity. David
declared,
When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the
moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is
man that you [God] are mindful of him, the son of man that
you care for him? You made him a little lower than the
heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.
You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put
everything under his feet. (Psalm 8:36)
The whole universe was created just for Gods children to
have a place to exercise the Fathers dominion, and for their
nature (image and likeness) to manifest the Fathers.
God created all that is, and thus became the Source, the Ab,
the Father of creation. What is a father? One who produces
something and then sustains it. Out of God the Father came the
Word, His Son, who spoke all things into being:
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.
Through him all things were made; without him nothing was
made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the
light of men. (John 1:14)
Not only did the Word create all that is, but the Word also
upholds, supports, and sustains everything created:
But in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom
he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the
universe. The Son is the radiance of Gods glory and the exact
representation of his being, sustaining all things by his
powerful word. (Hebrews 1:23)
Out of the Father came the Son. He is the eternal and only
begotten Son of the Father; He is God.
For to which of the angels did God ever say, You are my Son;
today I have become your Father? Or again, I will be his
Father, and he will be my Son? And again, when God brings
his firstborn into the world, he says, Let all Gods angels
worship him. (Hebrews 1:56)
The Son, as the Word, spoke all creation into being, which
would sustain humanity. The Father always sustains what He
produces.
Now we have set the stage for Adam. In eternity, before time
and creation, all humanity had been conceived in the mind of
God. God first created all things in order to sustain humanity,
whom He would create in His image. Then, because He wanted
everybody to have one source (father), He finished everyone
and put the initial seed for their existence in one body
Adams.
For eternity, the male is the father of human society and
social relationships. He is the source of the human family. This
puts an awesome reponsibility on him. The male, as a father, is
the source, sustainer, nurturer, and protector of the woman,
because God took the woman out of the man.
In our society, too many women are called upon to do a
fathers job. Women were not created to be the sustainer. Too
many men have abandoned their women and left them alone to
sustain themselves and the offspring that the men gave them.
Whatever is produced by a father must be sustained and
nourished by him.
God did not go back to the soil to produce a woman. Why?
He did not want the soil to support the woman. God made
Adam to be a father. God wanted a father to represent Him on
earth. Out of a fatherAdamwas produced a woman to be
fathered, sustained, and nurtured by the man. So God created
man to be a father like Himself. Together, the man and the
woman come together in marriage. From the beginning God
said, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother
and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh
(Genesis 2:24). Notice again that the Scripture never said that
the wife leaves her father. Why? Because her husband is to be
her father, her source, and her sustainer.
Out of man came the woman and marriage. Out of marriage
came children. So then we have a family. When families gather
together, we have a community. When a multiplicity of
communities come together, we have a society and a nation.
Men as Sustainers Are Societys Foundation
I want you to picture the problem with our societies and
nations, as well as the solution. God created man, and out of
him was produced a woman. That means Adam, as her source,
was responsible for nourishing and sustaining her.
If societies and nations have problems with drugs, unwed
mothers, teenage pregnancy, corruption, violence, and the like,
then they must go back to the foundation in order to solve the
problem. If they have a national problem, then they must go
back into the communities to find the problem. Obviously, the
communitys problems affect the nation, which is a multiplicity
of communities. Community problems are rooted in the families
that make up each community. When we check to see what the
families problems are, we must look at marriages. When we
examine the condition of our marriages, we discover that
husbands and wives are divorced, mothers have been
abandoned, and men are not sustaining their families. What
does all this boil down to? Brothers, we are at the root of the
problem affecting the nations! The foundational source has a
problem: men are not being the fathers God created them to be.
Understand this: The church cannot fix societys problems
when the foundation is out of place. When the foundations
are being destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalm 11:3).
No matter how much the church works at correcting social ills,
if the foundation that God laid for the family is not in place,
even the work of the righteous will not be successful. The devil
does not care as much if the church is filled with women,
because as long as men do not come back to their heavenly
Father, then the women and their children are fatherless. Godly
fatherhood is the foundation of the family, the church, and the
culture.
The primary mission of the church is to be fishers of men. (See
Matthew 4:19; Mark 1:17.) The church calls men back to their
original Father, and they are restored to the Father by salvation
through the Son. When men return to the Father, they can be
sustained and nurtured by their Source and then become the
sustainers they are called to be for their families. Remember,
when humanity fell, God never asked the woman where she
was, but the man. The Lord God called to the man, Where are
you? (Genesis 3:9).
In other words, Adam was out of position. The foundation had
been shaken and destroyed. The whole of creation was
unbalanced. God had fathered Adam so that he could father
and sustain Eve. Without fathers, the marriage, the family, the
community, and the nation lie in shambles. A nation can be
sustained, nurtured, and protected only when men are fathers
like the Father.
Isaiah prophesied what would happen when men abandoned
fatherhood and the foundations of the culture shattered.
Youths oppress my people, women rule over them. O my
people, your guides lead you astray; they turn you from the
path (Isaiah 3:12). When women rule exclusively, the whole
nation, community, or household is in trouble.
Isaiah 3:12 describes a society or nation much like those in the
world today in which women chase after men, men rule like mad
children, and boysnot menbecome leaders. Isaiah
prophesied that there will be a scarcity of real men who are like
God the Father. In such cultures, immorality and satanic
oppression will be rampant; men will become like women
(receivers) and indulge in homosexuality. When such
immorality sets in, women will rule men, and men will become
like children. They will become feminized, responding to life like
women.
Woman, when a man wants to marry you, do not ask him if he
loves you; ask him who he loves. If his love for God is not his
first priority, then he is a poor prospect for a fulfilling, lasting
relationship. Refuse to form relationships with plastic men who
melt when the heat and pressures of life get turned up high.
Find someone who is real. Until you find a man who knows that
God the Father is his Source and Sustainer, you must lean on
Jesus. He will husband you until you find a man who can be a
godly husband and father.
If an enemy wanted to destroy a nation, a community, or a
family, whom would the enemy attack? The father is a primary
target of Satans attack! When fathers move out of their place
as sustainers, nurturers, and protectors, the foundations are
destroyed and society crumbles.
Faithful to Sustain His Offspring
As I travel around the world, I see evil everywhere. At times,
I ask the same question Jeremiah did: Why does the way of the
wicked prosper? (Jeremiah 12:1). There are drug pushers,
pimps, thieves, and dishonest businesspeople everywhere who
have big homes, nice cars, boats, and lots of money. What is
the ultimate source of all that they have? How do they sustain
their lives? The answer to those questions is the same as the
answer to the question of why the righteous prosper. The
Father (Sustainer) sends the rain upon the just and the unjust
because everyone and everything is from Him. (See Matthew
5:45.) If something comes from you as a pater (father), then
you must sustain it, even though it is rotten, no good, horrible,
and rebellious. Why? Because God is a good, faithful, and
patient Father! He sustains, nourishes, and protects. He is
patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone
to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9).
Jesus understood that with God as His continual Source,
only good things could come from Him. The religious leaders
criticized Jesus for doing miracles, saying that He was from the
devil. Yet He answered His critics by saying,
Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give
him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him
a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to
give good gifts to your children, how much more will your
Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!
(Luke 11:1113)
What has Jesus taught us? Simply this: Gods sustenance
does not depend on behavior or how it is received. He sustains
what He creates because of His goodness. Similarly, an earthly
father who is modeling the heavenly Father will sustain,
nourish, and protect that which comes out of him as the
source.
Remember the parable of the prodigal son (more aptly called
the parable of the loving father)? The ambitious and ungrateful
son took his good inheritance, left home, squandered the
inheritance, and ended up living in a pigpen. When this lost
son returned home, however, the father still loved him. Not
only was he willing to sustain him, but he also threw him a
party to celebrate his homecoming.
If you stay away from God, He will sustain you even with pig
slop, if thats what you want. Why? You are still the son, and
He is still the faithful Father. His faithfulness doesnt change
just because you sin or rebel. God says, Ill feed you slop if
thats what you want to eat. The pigs and the garbage they eat
are mine, and I will give them to you.
When the lost son came to himself, he said, How many of
my fathers hired men have food to spare, and here I am
starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father
(Luke 15:1718). He realized that the food in his fathers house
was better than the food in the pigpen. You can decide upon
the quality of life you want to live, just as the lost son did. God
will feed you whatever you want to eat. If you hang out with
the pigs, you will eat pig slop. If you return home to your
Father, you can live in the fullness of His grace and provision.
The choice is yours.
Sustained to Withstand Evil
As men return to their Father, they must realize that He is
able to sustain them in trials and temptations as they seek to
live according to His example of fatherhood. Paul wrote that
all things were created by [Jesus] and for Him. He is before
all things, and in him all things hold together (Colossians
1:1617). God sustains all that He created through Jesus, the
Word. Even the devil could not exist without His permission.
God does not tempt you, but He does allow Satan to tempt
you, as we saw in a previous chapter. But you have Gods
promise that no temptation or trial comes your way that you
cannot withstand. He will sustain you spiritually in the midst of
that temptation: No temptation has seized you except what is
common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be
tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,
he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under
it (1 Corinthians 10:13).
No demon can come into your presence without permission
from the Father. Though tempted, Spirit-filled believers have
the strength from the Father to overcome the enemy. The next
time any temptation comes your way, remember that it comes
by permission. In it, there will be something for you to learn,
and a way will be provided by the Father for you to overcome.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of
many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith
develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so
that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
(James 1:24)
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you
may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have
 come so that your faithof greater worth than gold, which
perishes even though refined by firemay be proved
genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when
Jesus Christ is revealed. (1 Peter 1:67)
Through trials and tests, you will grow and come to
understand more fully how God is the Source and Sustainer for
everything you face in life.
An Unshakable Foundation
The Source and Sustainer of every man is Christ. It is time for
churches to go after men and lead them back to the Father
through Jesus Christ. When men get back to Christ, they return
to their rightful position in creation as fathers like the Father.
Only then can men bring healing to the brokenness and sustain
their marriages, families, communities, and nations.
Men who live like the heavenly Father are the unshakable
foundation God purposed from the beginning by fathering
Adam. In Christ, men return to their SourceGod the Father
and then become sustainers, nurturers, and protectors.
The function of fathering like the Father who sustains,
nurtures, and protects encompasses these principles:
Creation is the product of Gods purpose for His
children. In His foreknowledge, God spoke
creation into being in order to sustain those
created in His image.
God wanted everyone to have one source, so He
put the initial seed for their existence in one body
 Adams.
The foundation for the whole human family is the
male. Everything to sustain women should come
from their fathers or their husbands (who are also
their fathers).
A father, like God, sustains, nourishes, and
protects what comes out of him as the source.
Fatherhood is the foundation of the family, the
church, and the culture.
Now we will explore how a father supports and raises up
future generations in godliness and righteousness by fulfilling
his function as teacher.
Chapter Principles
1. God created man to be a father like Himself in
order to represent Him on earth and to sustain
that which comes out of him.
2. Out of man came the woman and marriage. Out of
marriage came children and a family. Families
create communities, and communities create
societies or nations. Therefore, fathers are the
foundation of all societies.
3. The church cannot fix societys problems when
the foundation is out of place.
4. A father, like God, sustains, nourishes, and
protects that which comes out of him as the
sourceregardless of behavior or how his
provision is received.
5. Men who are fathers like the Father are the
unshakable foundation God purposed from the
beginning when He created Adam.
Chapter 6
Father as Teacher

Whatever we find in the first two chapters of Genesis is

verified throughout Scripture and lays a foundation for
understanding fatherhood, marriage, family, and culture. God
gave Adam the information that needed to be taught.
Essentially, God the Father teaches each father so that he can
teach his wife, children, and upcoming generations.
The Father Receives the Instructions
It is important to remember that the biblical record in Genesis
gives no evidence that Eve received the instructions
concerning the garden or the Tree of Knowledge of Good and
Evil directly from God; only Adam received direct instructions
from Him. (See Genesis 2:15-17.) God the Father, therefore,
made Adam responsible for teaching the woman and everyone
else who came after him what He had said. This pattern is
repeated with each new family.
This is clearly seen in Gods interactions with Abraham. God
told him,
Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do? Abraham will
surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on
earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him, so
that he will direct his children and his household after him to
keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so
that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has
promised him. (Genesis 18:1719)
The commands of God were taught by Abraham to his
household and the generations after him. If a man takes the
responsibility to become the teacher and instructor in his
home, he attracts Gods favor and blessing. Why? Because the
father functioning as teacher fulfills Gods purpose for his life.
Since the father is the source, everyone who comes out of him
must look to him for instruction. God teaches the father to
teach the future generations.
Look again at Adam and Eve in Genesis 13. Eve was taken
out of Adam. She was designed and fashioned to be a receiver,
but she received from the wrong source when she listened to
Satan, who came to her in the form of a serpent in order to
deceive her. The male is a giver, and the female is a receiver and
an incubator. The woman does not initiate; she responds. She
gives to her children as she has received from her husband,
who is also her father. The man gives seed to the woman, and
she gives back to the man a child. She takes what a man gives
her, multiplies it, and gives it back. What incubators do is give
life to the seed.
Herein lies a key principle: Whatever seed the father plants and
whatever he teaches, that seed and instruction will be birthed
through the mother to the children and the childrens children.
So, whatever Eve gave back to Adam was supposed to have
been an increase and multiplication of that which Adam gave
her in the first place. But Eve broke the principle. She went to
Adam with something he never gave her. She had received
from a source other than the right source. Gods purpose was
distorted. God imparted to Adam, Adam instructed Eve, but
Eve went to another source for teaching and instruction.
Consequently, instead of bringing back fruit of life, Eve offered
Adam the fruit of death. Then, when Adam accepted that fruit
instead of reinforcing the instructions God had given him,
humanity fell and sin entered the world.
Truth and life come from God the Father. Lies and destruction
are what the devil gives. It is no wonder, then, that when Adam
and Eve had children, one of the firstfruits of their offspring
was hate and murder. Their son Cain killed their son Abel in a
jealous rage. Adam and Eve had accepted information from a
source not of God and they reproduced what they had received
death.
Lets apply this principle to our families. Our children are
supposed to bring back to us all that we have deposited into
them. Often, the only way for a father to know how well he has
done is by his grandchildren. If the father has taught his wife
and children the things of God, then godly lives will be
produced in his childrens children. But if the father is absent
or fails to teach the principles and precepts of the truth from
the Word of God, then sin will likely be the fruit of his
childrens children. Its that simple. That is the awesome power
of the father as a teacher.
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what
he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from
that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please
the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:78)
A wife and mother will bear good fruit when her husband sows
into her the fruit of the Spirit. In contrast, we see the results of
sowing into a woman the works of the flesh. Fathers who sow
abuse will reap abuse. Fathers who sow addiction frequently
have addicted wives and children. Fathers who sow divorce
reap broken families. But fathers who sow the seed of the
Spirits fruit reap love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (See
Galatians 5:2223.)
Fathers are to teach only the truth they hear from God the
Father. As the perfect example of a teacher, Jesus asserted,
When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know
that I am the one I claim to be and that I do nothing on my own
but speak just what the Father has taught me (John 8:28). All
that the Son taught came from His Father, the Source. What a
powerful force a father is in his family when his wife and
children know that whenever he acts or speaks, he is hearing
from God.
The godly father doesnt react in anger toward his children by
calling them names like fool, idiot, or stupid. Why not?
Because the Father never calls him those names. The godly
father speaks to his children only what he has heard from the
Father. He calls his children saints, holy ones, priests, royalty,
children of God, and sons of the Most High God. The father
declares to his wife and children the image of God in Christ
Jesus.
 Remember the example of David and Solomon? Solomon did
not teach his own wisdom but the wisdom he had learned from
his father:
Listen, my sons, to a fathers instruction; pay attention and
gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not
forsake my teaching. When I was a boy in my fathers house,
still tender, and an only child of my mother, he [David]
taught me [Solomon] and said, Lay hold of my words with
all your heart; keep my commands and you will live. Get
wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or
swerve from them. (Proverbs 4:15)
David taught Solomon the wisdom and truth he learned from
God. Solomon learned to value wisdom and passed it along to
those who came after him. When he became king, he asked the
heavenly Father to give him even greater wisdom to rule the
nation. (See 2 Chronicles 1:912.)
The Father Instructs and the Mother
Commands
Solomon said, My son, hear the instruction of thy father
[original information], and forsake not the law of thy mother
[commands of the original information] (Proverbs 1:8 kjv).
There is a difference between an instruction and a command or
law. Instruction is the giving or receiving of original
information for direction and function. A command or law is a
repetition and enforcement of instruction. In a godly context,
an instruction is the truth that a father has learned from the
Father. He imparts that instruction to his wife. As a mother, she
repeats what she has heard as a command.
When I was growing up, there were eleven children in our
family. One mother, one father, and eleven kids lived under one
roof. My father worked all the time, but he was always at home
in the voice of my mother. My mother never had to say, If you
dont do what I say, I will discipline you. All she had to say to
keep the house in order was, Do this and do that. If you dont,
I will let your father know when he comes home. She always
had the authority of his instructions. My father would say to
the children, You wash the dishes today. You clean the floor.
You mow the lawn. We would pray together as a family, and
then he would go to work.
Thats it. He didnt have to be home to assert his authority
because my mother was home. When she was in a meeting with
some of her friends, all she had to do was look at me and say,
Myles, your father said to wash the dishes. Paul, you father
said to clean the floor. She was simply giving commands.
When she said, Wash the dishes, I didnt hear her, I heard
my father! I knew that if I disobeyed her commands, I also
would be disobeying my father, even though he was not
physically present at that moment. Dad gave the instruction,
and Mom issued the law and gave the command. She repeated
and enforced the instruction of my father. She invoked the
authority of my father, and could say to me, If you dont obey
me, wait until your father comes home. Hell take care of you.
That was enough! Believe me, I got the message. I had to
comply, or else! I immediately did my chores. No questions
were asked and no excuses were given, because I knew that
behind my mothers command was my fathers power and
authority. He would bring judgment and discipline to my life if I
failed to keep my mothers law. A woman is designed to rule by
delegated authority.
Once more, the fathers instruction is original information.
The mothers law or command is a repetition of the fathers
original teaching. This simple principle has been ignored in our
society. We have homes where women are giving commands
but have never received instructions. The children do not feel
any authority or sense any power in moms voice because
there is no man in the house. As a result, there is lawlessness
and rebellion in the home in the behavior and attitudes of the
children. The father is really the key to healing the whole
society and fixing the family. In his family, he must return to his
God-given function of being a teacher like the Father who
teaches him.
Where, then, does the father get his original instruction and
information? From God the Father and His Word. Even if a
father has not been fathered by a godly man, he can return to
our heavenly Father, be saved, and learn Gods ways. He can
receive godly instruction from his pastor and righteous men in
the church who know and love the Word of God. And, of
course, as a born-again believer, a father has the Holy Spirit
within him teaching him everything that the Son hears from the
Father. (See John 16:515.)
A father who did not have a godly father from whom he was
able to learn the Word of God should get under the spiritual
authority of a pastor who teaches the Word. Daily, a father
should submit in his relationship with God. He now has the
heavenly Fathernot an earthly fatherto correct all the
things he lacks in his own life. His family now has a teacher
again.
The Teacher Spirit
Fathers are built to teach; again, that explains why males have
difficulty being taught by women. Instructions are supposed to
come from the father. God created the man to give instruction
and the woman to receive his teaching and then command the
children. Even when men have nothing to teach, they hate to
admit that they dont have the answers.
One of the problems our society has is that it believes the
cliche, I learned all that I know at my mothers feet. We
should not be receiving instructions from our mothers.
Solomons approach is Gods way. The father instructs, and the
mother commands what the father has taught.
Once again, go back to the original foundation established in
Genesis. It would have made no sense for Eve to have taught
Adam about the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. She
knew nothing about it. God the Father taught Adam, and Adam
taught Eve.
Notice in Genesis 2:1617 that the Lord God commanded the
man, You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you
must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
for when you eat of it you will surely die. God commanded
the manAdamwhat to do. We can discern from Genesis
3:13 that Eve knew about that instruction. How? Adam taught
her what God had said.
Adam did a good job teaching Eve, but, as we saw, she
started getting instruction from someone who was not her
father. There is another lesson about teaching here. Eve was
supposed to accept, obey, and believe what Adam, her source,
had said because Adam had received his information from the
Father. However, she decided to forego what she had heard
from her father and began to receive and listen to the
teaching of one who was not her father. The father should
teach his wife and offspring not to receive instructions from
any source other than the heavenly Father.
This is a very important principle: If children can learn to
compare the information they receive in books, magazines, and
the electronic media to Gods truth, which they learned from
their fathers, then they can go anywhere and face anything in
culture and still know the truth.
Although I encountered a myriad of diverse and spurious
philosophies in college, my father had already spoken the truth
to me, rooted in the Father and His Word. That truth became
the standard by which I measured everything. If Eve had
compared what the serpent said to what Adam had already told
her, she would have known immediately that the serpent was
lying. Instead, she accepted the serpents lie without checking
it against the truth taught to her by Adam. She received
instruction from a source other than the Father and,
consequently, was deceived.
The godly father should always emphasize to his wife and
children that what he has learned is not only from his earthly
father, but also from his heavenly Father. Its the standard. A
father like the Father desires that this be said of him: As long
as he lived, they [his family and descendants] did not fail to
follow the Lord, the God of their fathers (2 Chronicles 34:33).
As a father teaching my children, I am not serving my father
but the God of my fathers. I am serving the God of my spiritual
fathersAbraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David, and
the prophets. I am serving the Father of my Lord Jesus Christ.
So when my wife, children, and grandchildren follow my
teaching, they are following the Word of God. My children
know that the credibility of what I teach isnt just based on the
fact that I said it, but that God said it!
What about Saved Wives and Their
Unsaved Husbands?
I hear some women in churches say, Im going to do this or
that because the pastor said to do this or that. Im going to do
this area of ministry. Im going to serve in this way. Now, my
husband doesnt agree with me or believe I should do this, but
Im following God and my church, not my husband. How
should this attitude be addressed?
The moment a woman takes a husband, she has become his
offspring. Remember that Adams offspring was Eve. Adam
said, This [the woman] is now bone of my bones and flesh of
my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of
man (Genesis 2:23). Then the next statement reveals, For
this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be
united to his wife, and they will become one flesh (v. 24). Its
important to note once more that nowhere in Scripture does it
say a woman should leave her father. Only the man leaves his
father and mother. Both Jesus and Paul quoted this verse in
their teachings about marriage. The implication is that a
woman, in effect, is never without a father. Why? Because
men are fathers. So when a woman is born into a home, shes
under the authority of her father. When she gets married, shes
under the authority of her other father, her husband. She
goes from one father to another because the male is her source
and sustainer.
Again, Paul affirmed this principle when he wrote, For man
did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was
man created for woman, but woman for man (1 Corinthians
11:89).
When Paul said, therefore, that a man does not cover his
head, he was speaking about authority. (See 1 Corinthians
11:316.) Why? Because the man is the father, and the
woman should be under the covering of authority. To a woman,
the man is both source and sustainer. Woman was created to
receive, and man was created to give, instruct, and cover the
woman.
Remember our question: What if a woman leaves her
husbands authority to do what a church or pastor says? As a
pastor, I cannot enter another mans house. He is his wifes
husband, father, covering, and authority. I cannot instruct
another woman to go against the authority of her husband. If I
did, I would be acting as the serpent did in the garden with
Eve. Much correction in the church is needed here. Pastors and
church leaders should never usurp the authority of husbands
and fathers.
Take a perfect example of this situation. In John 4, Jesus met
the woman at the well. He is God, and He certainly could have
worked a miracle right there, saving her and instantly healing
every area of her life, but He didnt. Why? He understood the
principles and functions of fatherhood. So Jesus asked the
woman a very simple question, one we often miss. He said, in
effect, Where is your husband? Jesus was referring to her
covering, authority, and father. Not even Jesus moved in to
replace her husband. Her answer is interesting: I have no
husband
(v. 17). Jesus response to this statement implied, You are
right. I know the ones you had, and the one you have now is
not your husband. You are without a covering. I can help you. I
can give you instructions. (See 1 Corinthians 11:1718, 2124.)
What does a pastor or church do when a wife is under the
authority of an ungodly man? The church has made many
mistakes in this area. Our ultimate goal in the church is not just
to get a Christian woman into ministry. The goal of the church,
according to Jesus, is to be fishers of men by going into all the
world with the gospel. God is more concerned about that
womans unsaved husband being restored to Him than about
that woman having a ministry in the church. The Great
Commission given in Matthew 28:1820 is not for the purpose
of placing people in positions. It is for making disciples of all
nations and saving the lost. Now, if that concept is clear, then
we must do everything in our legal authority in the body of
Christ to get that man saved. We should be encouraging and
equipping the wife to witness to and love her husband as
Christ loves her.
It contradicts the Great Commission for the church to
compete with the womans husband, whom they should want
to win to Christ. When a woman comes to me as a pastor and
says, Pastor, my husband says I cannot come to the meeting
that you called, but you are my pastor. What should I do? my
answer is, You stay with your husband because I am not your
father. And I even go so far as to write a note to her husband,
apologizing for my program conflicting with his schedule, and
requesting that he please forgive me. I send his wife back to
him.
How might that husband respond? He may well be led to
Christ because now he says, Ive finally met a pastor who
isnt trying to compete with me. He will desire to know more
about the God that his wife serves. Why? Because neither God
nor the church tries to take his wife from him, but rather
teaches her to respect him as her husband and the father of
their household. This is not to say that a woman should give
up going to church altogether if her husband doesnt like it.
She needs to have fellowship with other Christians. (See
Hebrews 10:25.) Yet some women spend so much time at
church that they neglect their husbands, and they dont show
them love and respect.
Instruction Brings Power and Authority
 Since a woman was not designed to give instructions, but to
give commands, this means the womans power is wrapped up
in the man. As I mentioned earlier, the reason why the single
mothers of our nations are having such a hard time is that they
are giving commands but never receiving instructions. This is a
key principle that has a broader application to Christ and His
bride, the church.
As we have seen, one of the titles of Jesus is Everlasting
Father (Isaiah 9:6). Another title used by those around Him
was Rabbi or Teacher. What qualified Him to teach? He is a
father who receives His instructions from God, His Father.
Jesus, the Second Adam, succeeded where the first Adam
failed. Jesus listened to the Father and spoke only what the
Father said. He also taught exactly what the Father wanted
taught. Then, out of Jesus came a womanthe church, the
ecclesia. The bride of Christ, His church, does only what He
says because the bride has the Holy Spirit, who speaks only
what the Son has heard from the Father. (See John 1416.)
Notice the progression of teaching that Jesus delineated:
When the Counselor [Holy Spirit] comes, whom I will send to
you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the
Father, he will testify about me. And you also must testify, for
you have been with me from the beginning. (John 15:2627)
From the Father through the Son by the Spirit, we are taught
the truthwhich we, in turn, teach others. The only
instructions we are supposed to speak are those from the
Father, which we learn through reading His Word and listening
to His Spirit. The church takes these instructions and speaks
them out with authority as commands. This is the principle
behind Jesus statement regarding authority and how we can
use His name to command sickness, disease, demons, and
mountains.
As the bride of Christ, the church has the Fathers
instruction, authority, and power to speak and act with
boldness in the world. The bride of Christ is empowered to
declare things. I bind you is a command, not an instruction.
I loose you is a command. Come out of him is a command.
The church binds, looses, heals, and delivers, not as teachings,
but as commands under the authority of our Husband, Jesus
Christ, who taught us what He heard from the Father.
Christ gave us instructions, and then He left. We remain in
the world with His instructions. We are supposed to go out
and possess the land and take back what the devil has stolen.
We have the authority of the Father to do so. When we
command, lives change because the authority of the Father is
in us through His Holy Spirit. We declare truth in His name
because we have His authority.
Lack of Authority Leads to Confusion and
Chaos
It is tragic that in many homes today, the mother cannot
invoke the name of her childs father with authority. In fact,
many curse the fathers name. Why? Because fathers have
abandoned their responsibility to be teachers of the Word of
God in their homes.
 We have seen that one of Satans primary strategies is to
remove fathers from the home. Satan attacks fathers because
when they do what they were created to do, they teach about
the Father in their homes. Satan hates that! He wants the home
to be in rebellion against fathers and God the Father. If Satan
can remove the teacher, there is no instruction. If there is no
instruction, there is no authority. If there is no authority, there
is anarchy and chaos. When there is anarchy and chaos, any
number of undesirable things can happenkids join gangs,
get involved in drugs, and run with bad companyall because
there is no authority in the home.
Since the father gives instruction in the home, he also must
discipline and give correction to his household. We now turn
to the fathers function as the one who disciplines in the home.
Chapter Principles
1. God teaches fathers, then fathers teach their
households.
2. Whatever seed the father plants and whatever he
teaches, that seed and instruction is birthed
through the mother to the children and the
childrens children.
3. Earthly fathers are to teach only the truth they
hear from the heavenly Father!
4. Fathers instruct and mothers command. The
fathers instruction is original information. The
mothers law, or command, is a repetition of the
fathers original teaching.
5. The father should teach his wife and offspring
not to receive spiritual truth from any source
other than from the heavenly Father, through His
Word and His Spirit.
6. Pastors and church leaders should not seek to
usurp the authority of husbands. (This does not
mean a woman should never attend church if her
husband dislikes it, but she should demonstrate
love and respect for him and not use church as an
excuse to neglect him.)
7. As the bride of Christ, the church has the
Fathers instruction, authority, and power to
speak and act with boldness in the world; the
church commands what Jesus heard from the
Father.
Chapter 7

Father as One Who

Disciplines
To understand what it means for the father to be one who
disciplines, we must first realize that discipline is not
punishment. Discipline takes teaching to the next level. It is
one thing to teach a child, but correction and further
instruction help to shape a childs character. Discipline,
therefore, is training.
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old
he will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6). This instruction is
spoken to fathers. Notice the application of this principle in
Ephesians 6:4: Fathers, do not exasperate your children;
instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the
Lord. Again, I want to emphasize that discipline is not
punishment rendered by an irate or enraged father. Paul clearly
warned, Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will
become discouraged (Colossians 3:21).
What society has done is leave discipline to the women
because most men think that training is punishment. In
referring to woman, God said, It is not good that the man
should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him
(Genesis 2:18 kjv). To be a help meet means to be suitable
or adaptable. One who is suitable or adaptable can be trained
and equipped in responsibility.
We read in Genesis 2:15, The Lord God took the man, and put
him into the garden of Eden to dress [cultivate nasb] it and
to keep it (kjv). This instruction refers to discipline and order.
To dress means to cultivate, and to cultivate means to
train.
A father is given the responsibility by God the Father to train
and equip everything under his care, including his wife and
children.
What is the difference between cultivation and mere growth?
When plants grow without cultivation, they are essentially
weeds. Cultivated plants form a garden. Trees that grow
without cultivation and order are a forest. Cultivated trees are a
grove. Without cultivation, there is no order and no systematic
development. But when there is planning and training, we see
discipline and cultivation taking place.
Genesis 2:5 reveals that cultivation is part of God the
Fathers plan for humanity. And no shrub of the field had yet
appeared on the earth and no plant of the field had yet sprung
up, for the Lord God had not sent rain on the earth and there
was no man to work [cultivate nasb] the ground. Adams
job description included cultivating the ground given to him
for sustenance. God placed man in the garden and gave him
instructions to work, train, and keep the earth; He did not want
wild, unrestrained, and disorganized growth. God the Father
has an orderly, disciplined, and purposeful plan for everything.
 As Adam was to cultivate the earth, a father is to cultivate
his offspring. When Eve came along and eventually the
children, Adam, as a father, was to make certain they did not
grow wild. The world believes children need to sow wild oats
as they grow up, but that is in direct contradiction to Gods
plan of cultivation and discipline. Today, we have boys
throwing their seedtheir spermall over the place because
we are not cultivating and disciplining them. Our heavenly
Father trains and disciplines us; likewise, fathers are to follow
His example in the lives of their children.
The book of Hebrews says it in this way:
You have forgotten that word of encouragement that
addresses you as sons: My son, do not make light of the
Lords discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes
you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he
punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as
discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not
disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and
everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate
children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had
human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for
it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our
spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while
as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good,
that we may share in his holiness. (Hebrews 12:510)
God the Father disciplines us, and fathers, like God, are to
discipline their children.
Let me give you some examples of the ways in which fathers
can discipline, cultivate, and train their children. Remember that
the word discipline comes from the word disciple, which refers
to one who learns by following. So fathers train and disciple
their children by having them follow their example. Their
children learn by imitation. That is exactly what Jesus had His
disciples do. He told them, Follow Me! (See, for example,
Matthew 4:19.)
A concrete example of this concept is a train. We call an
entire line of railroad cars on a track a train. Yet train comes
from a word meaning to draw or to drag. Technically, only
the engine is the train, because everything else attached to the
engine is a follower. The principle that governs a train is similar
to the principle God wants implemented in our families. A father
is never supposed to just point his wife or children in a
direction. He is the engine and should be able to say, Hook up
to me. Go where I am going. Follow me. Imitate my example, and
then youll be going in the right direction.
A fathers primary responsibility is to be like the heavenly
Father and to do what He does. God does not point one way
but then go another. A true father never says, Do what I say
but not what I do. Instead, a godly father with integrity can
unashamedly say to his wife and children, Live the way I live,
and you will be like the Father. In other words, a father
becomes in Christ what he wants his wife and children to
become.
Consider again the example of Abraham. Abraham received
favor from God because he cultivated his household in Gods
commandments. (See Genesis 18:1819.) He even cultivated his
servant. He did not allow anyone to work in his household
without being trained and disciplined in the ways of God. He
made certain that even his servants obeyed Gods standards
and followed his example.
The principle is this: A father follows the example of the Father
and teaches his offspring to follow him. A godly father leads
everyone following him to the Father.
Abraham did not want a pagan working for him. Everyone in
his household followed father Abraham, and Abraham
followed God the Father.
Fathers must disciple their families. Again, a disciple is a
follower who learns by observation. Disciples in the past
always left home because learning was living life, not just
talking about it. The father not only teaches in the home, but
he also takes his children out into the world with him in order
to have them observe how he handles various situations in a
godly way. If a father is going to disciple his children, he must
do so by letting them see how he functions in different
conditions.
It is impossible to be effective as a long-distance father. A
father cannot father children he is not with, or train children
who are not by his side. You cannot disciple on the telephone
or via e-mail. Not being present in his childrens lives makes a
man a biological supplier of sperm, not a father. A father trains
a child by having the child observe what the father does, says,
and decides in the real world.
Fathers need to discipline and disciple their households by
letting their families observe them in the following ways:
Reading and applying the Word of God.
Praying and interceding.
Making right decisions based on the principles
and absolute truths of Gods Word.
Working in the real world, living out the example
of Christ.
Sharing the gospel with others.
Openly worshiping and praising God the Father.
Handling and solving problems without
compromise.
Being promise keepers and not promise breakers.
Treating their wives with honor and dignity.
Honoring others above themselves.
Loving their enemies.
Being reconcilers between races and economic
classes.
Making sure that their words and actions
correspondand exhibit character and integrity.
In ancient Israel, the disciples followed their rabbis
everywhere, learning to live by their examples. In a similar way,
when fathers disciple their children, they show them how to
live life by their example. The father becomes a master in his
own household; that is not a negative description. As the
father masters the skills and gifts of operating in the power of
the Holy Spirit, the family members can observe the master and
learn for themselves how to walk in the Spirit.
Our next step toward understanding the functions of
fatherhood is to examine how the father is the head and leader
of his home.
Chapter Principles
1. Fathers are given by God the responsibility to
train and equip everything under their care.
2. God the Father disciplines us, and godly fathers
discipline their children.
3. When fathers train their children, they teach by
example, thereby enabling their children to learn
by imitation.
4. A father follows the example of our heavenly
Father and teaches his offspring to follow him. A
godly father thus leads everyone following him to
God.
5. Men cannot be fathers to children they are not
with, or train children who are not by their side. A
father trains a child by having the child observe
what the father does, says, and decides in the real
world.
6. Fathers need to disciple their households by
allowing their families to observe them operating
in a godly manner and in the power of the Holy
Spirit.
Chapter 8

Father as Head
and Leader
One of the Latin words for father is fundus, which means
base or bottom. This is where we get the word foundation.
We talked about the male as foundation in chapter two. The
foundation of the family is the father who begins as the
progenitor and source and then sustains, nourishes, protects,
teaches, and disciplines his household.
The father is the head of the family as a result of Gods
timing and creation. Now, the fact that he is the head does not
mean he is superior, better, or greater than the woman. It means
that he has first responsibility and accountability for the family.
Again, being the head is not a value statement about worth
or intrinsic value. The father can never say that being the head
or leader makes him the greatest. Jesus as Head of the church
humbled Himself as a servant: Your attitude should be the
same as that of Christ Jesus: who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness (Philippians 2:57).
Heads and leaders are first and foremost servants like Christ.
It is impossible to assume a position of leadership without first
serving. Jesus said,
You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the
Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise
authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever
wants to become great among you must be your servant,
and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even
the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and
to give his life as a ransom for many. (Mark 10:4245)
We can use the physical body as an analogy for
understanding the spiritual functions of being the head of the
family. The head plans for the care of the body and, in general,
guides the bodys actions. Many men love to say, Im the
head of this house, but they forget the accountability and
duty of being the head. The father has the responsibility to
preserve, protect, nourish, and guide his wife and children.
Fathers Plan
First, the head contains the brain. If the man claims to be
the father and head of the home, then he must have the mind of
Christ (see 1 Corinthians 2:16), which includes the knowledge
and wisdom to lead a family in the ways of God. The father has
the responsibility to solve the problems the family encounters.
He calculates where the family is going and seeks Gods
guidance to make long-term plansten, fifteen, or twenty
yearsfor the family. The father is the counselor, career and
financial planner, and manager of the familys resources. All
those functions are in the brain. Fingers and legs do not make
those kinds of decisions; they are made in the brain.
 Fathers Provide Vision
The father, if he is truly the head, becomes the visionary of
the family. The eyes are in the head and they see whats in
front of the body. The eyes are not in the back or in the
stomach. If you are the head, you are supposed to have a
vision for your family: insight, long-range goals, and a plan for
the future. The father discerns things that are happening in the
natural as well as the supernatural for the family.
As the visionary, the father anticipates things before they
happen and prepares and equips the family to face the future.
Fathers have perception, conception, and inception.
Perception:
Perception is awareness of whats going on. A father knows
whats happening with his wife and children at all times. When
behaviors or attitudes change, he knows it. When spiritual or
physical needs arise, he is aware of them. Nothing escapes his
attention. The father is tuned-in and cares about each person
in his family. Too often I hear families complain, Dad just isnt
with it. He never knows or understands whats happening in
our lives. Hes too wrapped up in his work to notice us.
Remember, God cares about everything. Jesus was aware of
everything that happened around Him, even to the point of
noticing a woman in need barely touching the hem of His
garment. (See Mark 5:2434.) God the Father is aware of all
things. Jeremiah prayed, Great are your purposes and mighty
are your deeds. Your eyes are open to all the ways of men; you
reward everyone according to his conduct and as his deeds
deserve (Jeremiah 32:19). Like the Father, a father is aware of
all that happens in his family.

Conception:
Conception is the creative beginning of a process, which
puts in motion a chain of events. God sets everything in
motion; He is the God who made the world and everything in
it (Acts 17:24). He initiates, conceives, and creates. Likewise,
a father conceives in his mind the beginnings of things for his
family and then becomes the source for bringing what he has
conceived into reality. As the head of the family, he takes the
initiative to listen to God and conceive Gods ideas, not just
what seem like good ideas.
Inception:
Inception is the start or commencement of something new.
God the Father is always doing a new thing in our lives. He
said, See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you
not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams
in the wasteland (Isaiah 43:19). A father is willing to risk new
things for his family. He will break out of old traditions and
bondages. A father receives the words God has for him and his
family, rejoicing in the refreshing newness of Gods river in his
life.

Fathers Discern
What else is in the head? The nose. The nose discerns and
detects. Are you a father who is always discerning? Discerning
is related to caring, which we will discuss in the next chapter. A
godly father can sense what is coming against his family in the
next several years. He also has a sense of what is going to
happen next week; he detects and addresses what is going on
with his children. Perhaps his teenager is experiencing some
tough changes and tremendous peer pressure. As the head of
the household, he discerns the problem and spends time with
that child to counsel, support, affirm, and advise. A godly
father also senses when his wife is in need of affection or time
alone. In other words, a father can detect the scent of his
family, his home, his business, and his neighborhood.
God the Father knew our needs and prepared for us before
the foundation of the world:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every
spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before
the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his
sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons
through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and
willto the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely
given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption
through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance
with the riches of Gods grace that he lavished on us with
all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us
the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure,
which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the
times will have reached their fulfillmentto bring all things
in heaven and on earth together under one head, even
Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been
predestined according to the plan of him who works out
 everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in
order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be
for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in
Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your
salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a
seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit
guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those
who are Gods possessionto the praise of his glory.
(Ephesians 1:314)
God prepared (1) for Christ to die for our sins, (2) for the gift
of the Holy Spirit, and (3) for our eternal inheritance in glory.
Now thats a real father! God discerned our need before we
were ever created. Jesus was sensing our need before His
crucifixion and resurrection. He said, In my Fathers house are
many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am
going there to prepare a place for you (John 14:2).
Consider Adam in the garden before Eve was created from
him. God anticipated mans loneliness. Adam didnt know he
was alone. He had the garden, all the creatures of the earth, and
most of all, he had God. Adam could not possibly have been
lonely because he dwelled within Gods presence; however,
God knew the purpose and nature of the man He had created.
God the Father anticipated Adams need before he even had it;
therefore, God created Eve.
Fathers Listen
Also located on the head are the ears. You are a father if you
can hear for your family. The father should always be listening
to God and to his family, for God the Father always listens to
us. The psalmist wrote, I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I
will call on him as long as I live (Psalm 116:1). I hear wives
and children continually complain, Dad never has time to
listen to me. Fathers, please take time to listen. As a father and
head of the family, here are some questions you need to answer
for yourself:
Are you hearing the voice of God?
Are you getting instructions for yourself and for
the familys sake?
Are you getting information for your wife and the
children?
Are you picking up on whats going on in the
world and preparing your family to face it?
Are you hearing correction, instruction, and
rebuke?
Are you hearing the true voice of your wife and
children?
Many men think they are too busy to listen to their families.
Yet listening is a gift that fathers give to their families. Their
listening tells their families that they care for them, while a
failure to listen communicates a lack of love and caring.
Because God the Father loves us, He always listens to and
answers us. We fathers need to listen as our heavenly Father
listens!
 Fathers Speak the Word of God
Finally, being the head means that the father is the
mouthpiece for the family. The father is supposed to speak the
Word of God in the home. Through the fathers voice, the
family hears Gods voice.
If a wife wants to hear from God, she should be able to hear
His voice through a godly husband first, and not only the
pastor, prophet, apostle, teacher, or evangelist in the church.
Likewise, if the children want to hear what God is saying, they
shouldnt go to somebody else first. The family should hear
from God through the head of the family, who is himself able to
hear from God and who knows His Word. Everything said at
church should confirm and support what has already been said
at home by the father who is in close relationship with the
heavenly Father.
For example, Paul said that women should be silent in the
church.
Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not
allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law
says. If they want to inquire about something, they should
ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a
woman to speak in the church. (1 Corinthians 14:3435)
It is important to understand the full context of this Scripture
in order to appreciate the true value and impact of Pauls
admonition.
In the church meetings at Corinth, there were many
problems. This was because some of the people who converted
to the Christian faith came from prostitution and pagan
practices. Some of the services were at risk of becoming wild or
uncontrollable if those new converts reverted to their old
pagan practices. Furthermore, in the synagogues, men and
women were separated. The men would sit in the main area
while the women would sit behind them or in a balcony. In this
setting, many women would call out to their husbands
questions about what the rabbi was teaching.
First, Paul was saying that God wants order and decency in
the church. Second, it was not culturally appropriate for a
woman to speak in public. And third, Paul knew that when the
wife went home, she could then ask her husband to answer her
questions about what had been taught. The implication is that
the husband should know the answer. In fact, the husband
should have anticipated his wifes questions and taught her
the Word or law before she went to the synagogue.
Yes, a woman has ministry gifts and should exercise them.
The problem with women speaking in the church was a male
problem. When fathers and husbands fulfilled their
responsibilities as the head of the home, women did not have
to ask questions in the middle of a service. They received their
answers from the head of the family, who spoke with Gods
voice to the family.
The Father as Leader
As I said earlier, being the head of the family does not impart
more worth or value to the man. Being the head has to do with
responsibility. Too many men confuse being the head with
being the boss. A father is not the boss of his house; a father
is the head. A father doesnt rule his house; he leads his
house. We must understand the function of the father as leader
in the home.
Let me share with you some qualities of leadership the father
has in the home:
As leader, the father has a passion and desire to bring out the
best in all those under his care: his wife, children, and any
other family members.
A true leader does not suppress, oppress, or depress the
potential and talents of others; he releases them and cultivates
them.
A true leader provides an environment for growth. He does not
try to inhibit family members or create an atmosphere of fear. A
true leaders passion is to maximize the potential of others so
they may realize their full and true abilities; his goal is to
eventually work himself out of a job.
In a very true sense, a father who is a genuine leader does
exactly what God said to do from the beginninghe cultivates.
To cultivate means to create an orderly environment that brings
out the best in a thing, to culture it. As a leader, the father
develops, expands, instigates, motivates, inspires, encourages,
and exhorts. All those functions cultivate the soil in which
others grow.
I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts
off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch
that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more
fruitful (John 15:12). Jesus taught that the Gardener (the
Father) cultivates the Vines (the Sons) branches (believers, or
the church) so they can bear spiritual fruit. Likewise, the
earthly father is to cultivate his family.
Jesus is the Head of the church, His bride. He loves and
gives Himself for her continuously. In the same way, a father, as
head of his family, loves and gives himself daily for his wife
and children.
Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him
who is the Head, that is, Christ. (Ephesians 4:15)
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head
of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. (Ephesians
5:23)
Now let us turn our attention to the caring function of the
father for his family. As head and leader of the family, the father
also deeply cares for his family in every area of their lives.
Chapter Principles
1. Heads and leaders are first and foremost servants
like Christ. It is impossible to assume a position
of leadership without first serving.
2. Fathers must have the mind of Christ (see 1
Corinthians 2:16), which includes the knowledge
and wisdom to lead a family in the ways of God.
3. As the visionary, the father anticipates things
before they happen and prepares and equips the
family to face the future. Fathers have perception,
conception, and inception.
4. Fathers discern and address the ongoing needs
of their families.
5. Listening is a gift that fathers give to their
families. When men listen, their listening tells
their families that they care for them.
6. A true father speaks the Word of God in the
home. Through the fathers voice, the family is
able to hear Gods voice.
7. A father doesnt dominate or control his house.
He develops the potential of everyone in his
house through his leadership.
Chapter 9

Father as One
Who Cares
In many ways, the fathers functions of caring and developing
go hand in hand. His role as one who cares is rooted in Genesis
2:15: And the Lord God took the man, and put him in the
garden of Eden to dress [cultivate nasb] it and to keep it
(kjv). Once more, the word dress in this verse means to
cultivate. The word keep means to care for. To care is to
pay close attention to needs and also to meet those needs. In
fact, caring goes far beyond our normal thoughts of serving,
encouraging, and ministering to someone.
Anticipating Needs and Meeting Them
Again, the word care means to anticipate a need and meet it.
In other words, to care means that you calculate the next need
of a person before he or she is aware of it. You make provisions
before he or she even senses the need. I believe that is the kind
of caring that Psalm 8:4 describes: What is man that you are
mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? To be
mindful means to have ones mind filled with thoughts about
another person. God the Father has filled His thoughts with us.
He anticipates and thinks about what we will need before we
even need it.
 Jesus taught us that our Father cares deeply for us:
So do not worry, saying, What shall we eat? or What
shall we drink? or What shall we wear? For the pagans
run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows
that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his
righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as
well. (Matthew 6:3133)
The Father knows our needs and cares about us.
A father, like God the Father, cares by spending his time and
energy anticipating what his wife and children need next. This
is the most beautiful picture in the world of a father. No matter
what he is doing, he is constantly thinking about what his
daughter will need the next day, what his son will need the next
week, or what his wife will need the next year. Hes constantly
thinking about caring for his family.
Work-driven cultures try to force men to continually think
about what the company or corporation needs, so that they
have no time to think about anyone elses needs. Men no
longer work to live, but live to work. Even at home, a mans
mind is often drifting off to work and either solving problems or
thinking of new projects. Or, the father comes home so tired
from working that he dozes off in front of the television.
Meanwhile, his family is left neglected and uncared for because
he is too tired or busy to think about their needs.
Fathers must set the right priorities. A father who cares like
the Father thinks of his wife and children before his job.
A father should see his job as a gift from God that enables
him to care for his wife and children. In other words, Gods care
has provided the man with a job so that he can adequately care
for the physical needs of his family. The job is a means to an
end, never the end itself.
Men who are wrapped up in their careers and running after
the corporate world have their motivation and priorities out of
place. They have taken their work, a gift from God that He
intended to help support their families, and made it an idol.
They end up caring more about the gift than the family for
which it was given or the God who gave it. Such idolatry will
ruin the man and his family.
Pastors as Fathers
One model that our churches often look to for fathering is
the pastor. I want to address a concern I have about pastors
modeling fatherhood for their people. In our society, pastors
have a growing divorce rate. Many could be properly classified
as workaholics. Often, pastors wives feel helpless in trying
to turn their husbands hearts back toward home. The pastor
seems to care for everyone else before his family. To defend his
workaholism, a pastor may say to his wife, You know Im
doing this for the church. This is my calling. Im doing this for
the Lord. Unable to compete with God, the family members
desperately try to get their needs met inappropriately and may
even end up blaming God for their father caring more for the
church than for his family. The church then becomes a
mistress to the pastor, as he leaves wife and family to suffer
without him.
 Laypeople also need to take this caution to heart, for they
are often a major cause of the pastors problems. They expect
the pastor to be Christ and not simply the pastor. The man of
God can never take the place of Christ caring for His bride. Too
often, church members turn to the pastor to meet their needs
instead of to the Lord. As a result, the demands on the pastors
counseling, calling, and visitation become unrealistic. Only
Christ is omnipresent, omniscient, and ommnipotentnot the
pastor.
The answer to this dilemma is simple and clear. Its found in
Ephesians 5, where the principles are laid down by Paul
concerning Christ and His bride, and the husband and his wife.
Heres a statement from Paul that wraps it up: Husbands, love
your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself
up for her (Ephesians 5:25). Pastors, and not just laymen, are
to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
As I said before, some pastors are committing adultery
with their churches. As a pastor, I am not married to my church;
Im married to my wife. The woman that I overseethe
assembly of believersis not my wifeshes Christs wife.
Ultimately, who meets the churchs emotional needs? Not me.
Who meets her physical needs? Not me. Who meets her
temporal needs? Not me. Who meets her spiritual needs? Not
me. Christ meets all the needs of His wife, the church. Some
pastors are destroying their wives and children because they
are spending all their time and energy trying to do what only
Christ can do.
As far as the church is concerned, pastors should be the
prime examples of fathers caring for their families. Again, one of
the reasons we have so many broken homes among pastors is
that they cared more for their work than their families. We see
pastors children who are wayward, disoriented, confused, and
backslidden because the pastor was not a father. He did not
care for his family. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves
the church, and care for your children as the heavenly Father
cares for you.
A fathers care, therefore, is one of his major functions. He
sits down and calculates the upcoming needs of his family and
then plans and works to meet those needs. He does not allow
his job to overwhelm his relationship with his family. He pays
attention to the interests, desires, and fears of his wife and
children and shows concern for them.
In the next chapter, we will explore the final function of
fathering: the male as developer of his family.
Chapter Principles
1. A father, like God the Father, cares by spending
his time and energy anticipating what his wife
and children will need next.
2. A mans job is a gift from God that He intended to
help care for that mans family. When a father
places more importance on his work than his
family, he makes an idol out of his work and will
bring ruin upon himself and his family.
3. Fathers must set the right priorities. A father who
cares like the Father thinks of his wife and
children before his job.
4. Pastors should be the prime examples of fathers
caring for their families.
5. Both pastors and laymen are to love their wives
as Christ loved the church.
Chapter 10
Father as Developer

The father is called to develop his family. To develop means

to cause to grow gradually and continually in fuller, larger, and
better ways. God the Father develops His people. Consider
what Paul said about the Father:
I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it
grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is
anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man
who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and
each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we
are Gods fellow workers; you are Gods field. (1 Corinthians
3:69)
To understand the father as developer, we return again to the
garden of Eden and remember Gods instructions to Adam to
dress and keep it (Genesis 2:15 kjv). In dressing and
keeping the garden, Adam had to plan for the orderly growth of
both plant and animal life. Developing for order and cultivation
started when Adam named the animals. (See verses 1920.)
The Characteristics of Development
Development has these characteristics:

Planning
Inherent in Gods purpose is His plan. Before a developer
starts constructing a housing division or shopping complex, he
has a building plan. He presents the plan to the appropriate
governmental officials in order to obtain the required permits to
build. The plan includes what will be constructed as well as
how it will be used. Structure and usage are essential to a plan.
For example, the Father as Developer planned the garden and
also planned what would be in it. God structured streams to
come up from the earth in order to water the garden. He
provided food for Adam and Eve, had a plan concerning what
they could and could not eat, and gave specific usage
instructions to Adam.
Then God said, I give you every seed-bearing plant on the
face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with
seed in it. They will be yours for food.And the Lord God
commanded the man, You are free to eat from any tree in
the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will
surely die. (Genesis 1:29; 2:1617)
Preparing and Planting
Once there is a plan, the developer begins the necessary
groundwork for building. Earthmovers come in and drainage is
provided. The land is prepared to accept the buildingfirst a
foundation and then a framework. Likewise, a sower prepares
the soil and sows the seed in planning for a harvest. Now the
Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there
he put the man he had formed (Genesis 2:8).
Protecting
 Every developer protects his construction site. He may
construct a tall fence with barbed wire to keep out intruders. He
may hire security guards. The farmer who develops a crop uses
whatever means of protection his crop needs to guard against
insects, diseases, and vandals. He tends the crop by pulling
weeds and providing adequate irrigation. God the Developer
protected man by warning him not to eat from the Tree of
Knowledge of Good and Evil and giving him instructions on
what to do in the garden. God also walked with Adam and Eve
in the cool of the evening. (See Genesis 3:8.) Keeping in
fellowship with God was protection for them.

Producing
Once a building is finished, the developer uses his shopping
complex, houses, or commercial building to produce income.
The farmer who grows a crop doesnt just leave it in the field.
He harvests it because he has produced fruits or vegetables
that can be sold and used. Likewise, the Father develops us to
be productive in His plan and purpose. Jesus addressed this
issue of development very specifically: This is to my Fathers
glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my
disciples (John 15:8).
Like the Father, an earthly father develops his wife and
children. He plans their growth in every aspect of life
physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.
A father walks each step of the way with his family as he
prepares and equips them in the ways of God. He plants the
seed of Gods Word in their hearts. He protects them with
prayer and with his presence and provision for their lives. As a
godly father walks with his family, he is an example of holiness
for them. He expects the best from them in producing good
fruit, which gives glory to the Father. He develops his offspring
to glow with the glory of God. A father expects his family to be
the light of the world, the salt of the earth, and witnesses for
Christ in the world.
Light produces light. The light of Christ in a fathers life sets
his family ablaze for Christ. The prayer of every godly father is
that his children will become flames of fire, blazing with the
Fathers Spirit and shining as stars. Those who are wise will
shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead
many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever
(Daniel 12:3).
The Environment for Development
As a father develops his offspring, he disciples them by
providing an example of the Father. He encourages steady,
consistent, and progressive growth in his family. For example,
he will not give answers all the time but will show his children
where to find the answers. A father like the Father encourages
discovery and learning as part of the developmental process.
Development creates an environment that is conducive to
others encountering learning experiences under the guidance
of a fathers godly wisdom. So what does an environment that
encourages development and growth look like? Let me share
with you some environmental qualities of a father who
develops his offspring:
Encouragement
The father edifies his offspring. Therefore encourage one
another and build each other up, just as in fact you are
doing (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Fathers never tear down the
esteem of a family member. Paul wrote that God gave him power
to edify, not to destroy. (See 2 Corinthians 13:10.) Such is the
power that God gives fathersto build up their families, not
pull them down.
Positive feedback
Instead of criticism, a father like the Father gives
constructive correction. He develops his wife and children by
building on their strengths and focusing on what they can do
well instead of condemning them for their weaknesses. In fact,
the father bears the weaknesses of his family. (See Romans 15:1
kjv.) He coversnot exposestheir vulnerability, and he
protects them from attack with his own prayers and
instructions.
Opportunity to try and fail
Fathers understand that some of the most significant
learning experiences in life result from failure. Children can
learn from their failures if a father uses the failures for teaching
and correction instead of judgment and punishment. A father
develops an atmosphere of acceptance for his family. He will
not reject them just because they tried and failed. He accepts
his family for better or worse, just as Christ has accepted
him. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in
order to bring praise to God (Romans 15:7).
Does not make comparisons
A father understands that the only standard for life is Jesus
Christ. He never compares his wife or children to others,
thinking that, by making a comparison, he will force
improvement. A father never says to his son or daughter,
Why cant you be more like So-and-so? They are such good
kids and never cause their parents any trouble. They make
such good grades in school; why cant you? He never says to
his wife, Why cant you dress and look like So-and-so? She is
such a good cook and helpmate. Why cant you be more like
her? Such comments by a father come from the father of lies.
Satan desires that we compare ourselves and our families to
others so that he can divide families and conjure up strife.
When we compare ourselves to Christ, however, we see that
we all fall short of His glory, and we see that everyone needs
grace. Even as He gives grace to us, we must impart grace to
others. Paul warned against false comparison. (See 2
Corinthians 10:12.) Every family member is a unique child of
God. Fathers, like the Father, are not to show favoritism. (See
Acts 10:34.) They develop an atmosphere in the family of
mutual love, respect, honor, and caring for one another.
Always Becoming
A godly father is constantly developing his family members
to grow in Gods limitless potential, to be their best through His
strength, and to accept others as they are growing in Christ. He
stretches his wife and children to achieve their utmost for His
highest. He continually tests the character and abilities of his
children. When assisting them with their homework, for
example, he will not give them the answers but will help them
learn how to solve the problems. When they are facing tough
decisions, he will not always tell them what to do. He will teach
them right from wrong and how to make godly decisions based
on the nature and character of God.
The objective of development is permanent growth. The
father cultivates his relationship with his wife and children so
that they will grow beyond themselves and into the believers
God purposed them to be. The powerful message of 2
Corinthians 5:17 is that new creations in Christ are continually
having old thingssin, bad habits, ignorance, and
strongholdspass away, while all areas of life are becoming
new. Fathers understand that Gods children are always
becoming! We are developing and growing into Christs image.
We are being changed from glory to glory (2 Corinthians
3:18 kjv). Fathers put a badge on their family members,
including themselves, which reads, Please be patient with me.
God isnt finished with me yet!
Fathers develop fathers. A man learns how to father from a
father. A father grows in fatherhood by leaning on the
heavenly Father. The goal of fathering is to develop men who
can father and women who can mother under the covering of a
godly husband. So when your son starts to make decisions as
good as or better than you have been making, you can affirm to
him that he is now a father while continuing to encourage him
as a father.
Jesus promised that when we are in the Father and the Father is
in us, just as the Father is in Him, then we will do greater works
than He did. (See John 14:12.) The application for fatherhood is
that a successful father will produce a child who is greater than
himself.
Chapter Principles
1. As developers, fathers plan, prepare, plant,
protect, and produce that which God has placed
in their care.
2. The godly father who develops his family has a
plan for their orderly growth: physically,
intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.
3. A godly father is an example of holiness for his
family and develops them to be the light of the
world, the salt of the earth, and witnesses for
Christ.
4. Development creates an environment that allows
others to encounter learning experiences under
the guidance of a fathers wisdom.
5. The objective of development is permanent
growth. A godly father provides encouragement,
positive feedback, and an opportunity to try and
fail, and he does not make comparisons.
6. A husband and father stretches his wife and
children to achieve their utmost for Gods
highest. He cultivates his relationship with his
family members so they can grow beyond
themselves and be the believers God purposed
them to be.
7. Fathers develop fathers. A man learns how to
father from a father. A father grows in fatherhood
by leaning on God the Father.
 Part 3
Fulfilling Your Purpose as a
Father
Chapter 11

Understanding Purpose
and Roles
Weve explored ten functions of fathers and how males are
the foundation and anchor of their families. In this chapter, I
want to address the subject of fatherhood from an overall
cultural perspective. This will enable you to better comprehend
how to put into practice everything weve been discussing.
In my book Understanding the Purpose and Power of Men, I
explain why many men are having difficulty determining what it
means to be a real man (and consequently a true father) in our
modern society. One of the things I deal with is the role factor.
For centuries, in many cultures, the male has determined his
manhood from the roles hes played in society. Men were
considered men based on what they did more than on who
they were. The societal roles were clear, and men knew what
they were supposed to do in life. For example, as long as a
husband could provide a house, food, clothing, and security
for his wife and children, he was considered a man. The
womans job was to cook, clean, care for the children, and
provide sex for the man. Once she did that, she was a woman.
These were mutually understood and mutually dependent
roles. The wife depended on her husband completely to fulfill
his role, and he depended on her completely to fulfill hers. In
many cases, couples didnt think about love as much as
helping one another survive. It was a partnership. Thats one
reason why most people up until contemporary times didnt get
divorced.
For several decades, however, we have been living in a
transitional time, and these roles are not as clear as they used
to be. Perhaps your father or grandfather told you, Be a man.
You asked, What does it mean to be a man? And he supplied
the above definition: provide a house, food, clothing, and
security. When you went out on your own, however, and ran
into a pretty woman, you discovered a problem with this plan:
she already had a car, owned her own home, bought her own
food, carried mace for protection, didnt need your money, and
perhaps didnt even care if you had any (and maybe already
had children, as well).
The situation became even more complicated when she told
you, Im looking for a real man. You said, Okay, Im going to
marry you and buy you a house and provide you with food,
clothes, and security. She said, I have all that, but I want you
to be a man.
Many women do not depend on men in the way they used
to, and this is a crisis for many men. Males and females, even in
the church, are experiencing stress because they often seem to
be going in different directions. Men no longer know what it
means to be a husband or what their identity as a man should
be. The old formula isnt working anymore. A number of
women make more money than the men, and the men are living
off their wives salaries. Maybe your grandfather said, If she
doesnt behave, put your foot down. You tell him, Its her
floor! He said, You let her know who is wearing the pants in
the family! You say, She wears them, too! Men and women
often dont complete each other; they compete with each other
in the home.
You Must Know Your Purpose
To make it through this crisis of social change and become
true fathers, we must once more reconnect to Gods concept of
manhood in Genesis, which transcends culture and time
because it is part of His plan in creation. The only way for a
man to discover and live out his inherent fatherhood nature is
to maintain a focus on purpose rather than roles that are related
to a certain culture or time in history. Purpose is the key to
manhood and fatherhood.
Again, Genesis 2:15 says, The Lord God took the man, and
put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it
(kjv). God put Adam in the garden of Eden. He didnt allow the
man to wander around in an attempt to find it. He also did not
leave Eden as an option, which means that Eden is a
requirement for a male. God made the man and told him, This
is where you belong.
After placing him in Eden, God commanded the man to work:
he was to cultivate the garden. Remember that work was given
to the male even before the female was created. Note also that
work came before the fall. Just to set the record straight, work
is not a part of the curse! As I indicated earlier, we can cause it
to be a curse for ourselves and our families if we make it an idol
and become workaholics. But work itself is a gift from God. The
man was also instructed to keep or care for the garden. In
the Hebrew, this word donates guarding, watching over,
preserving, and protecting it.7
Vital Purposes of the Male
Genesis 2:15 reveals five vital purposes of a male, which
women need to be aware of also. But men need to know these
purposes first to bring restoration to their own lives and to
their families. As we have seen, most men were never taught
these principles, and thats why they are having problems.
These five purposes of the male involve doing, but they are
not based on what a man does; rather, they are natural
outcomes of who he is. We will use them as a brief summary of
the fatherhood purposes we have explored throughout this
book and as a reminder of the males purpose, priority, and role
on earth as he reflects the nature of God the Father.
To Dwell in Gods Presence
The first thing God gave the male was Eden. The word Eden
in Hebrew is written with five strokes, each stroke a symbol
representing a word or a character. My study of the five
strokes indicated spot, moment, presence, open door, and
delightful place. Here is my interpretation of the word. God
took the man and put him in a spot, for the moment, where the
presence of God was an open door to heaven. In essence, Eden
is not a place but an atmosphere.
The Scripture says that the Lord planted (Genesis 2:8) or
established, the garden. He established a spot on the earth
where His presence literally came down from heaven and
touched so that it was a door of open access to heaven. Adam
didnt have to do anything religious to enter the presence of
God. He had open access to Him. He walked and talked directly
with God in the cool of the day.
Why did God give Eden to the male first, before He gave him
the female? Because God knew what he was going to do with
this man. Remember that in Adams body was the initial seed
for all humanity, and He would bring everybody into existence
through him. He wanted the male to have access to Him so he
could always know the will of God for those who came out of
him. In other words, being in Gods presence is essential for
accessing the instruction you need to lead your family in Gods
ways.
In putting the man in Eden, therefore, the first thing God
gave him was His own presence. Likewise, the first thing you
need in your lifewhether you are a policeman, a politician, a
CEO, a mechanic, an IT specialist, a doctor, a carpenter, or
anything elseis the presence of God. You need Gods
presence before you need the presence of a woman. As a
matter of fact, Adam was already in Eden when God brought
Eve and presented her to him. Eve met Adam in Eden. Where
do you meet women?
For a male, the presence of God is like water to a fish, or soil
to a plant. If you take the fish out of water, or the plant out of
soil, it malfunctions and dies. If you take the male out of Gods
presence, he will malfunction and die. This is why Satan will do
anything possible to keep a man like you away from the
presence of God, which is attracted by your worship. As we
saw earlier, the devil doesnt care so much if women enter
Gods presence because they are not the foundation. But Satan
makes sure the men drop the women off at church and then go
to play or watch sports or do some other activity. Professional
sports matches are broadcast all day on Sunday, tempting men
to stay home rather than be in Gods presence. When they do
go to church, many men feel ashamed to lift their hands to the
God who made them; Satan doesnt want you ever to feel
comfortable worshiping God, because when you worship God,
you attract His presence.
When a man gets into Gods presence, when he falls in love
with Gods presence, that man begins to function. The Bible
says that God dwells in the praises of His people. (See Psalm
22:3 kjv.) In Israel, the priests were the ones who led the
worshipand all the priests were men. But today, when you
bring a man into a worship service, he sits there as cool as a
cucumber. Hes too cool to say amen, too cool to clap, too cool
to lift his hands, too cool to sing to God. He doesnt realize
Satan has him cold, because he doesnt want him to get into
Gods presence. At home, many men make their wives lead
family devotions. The devil doesnt want you to start leading
devotions because the presence of God will come to your
house if you do. When my children were growing up, every
morning I would say to them, We are going to sing praises to
God.
Do you think youre too tough to worship? Who wrote the
book in the Bible thats filled with worship and praise? It was
someone who killed a lion and a bear with his bare hands. He
killed a ten-foot giant with a rock. Anyone can sit down in a
pew and fold his arms. It takes a giant-slayer like David to write
things like, O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in
all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens
(Psalm 8:1), and I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise
will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the Lord
(Psalm 34:12). I love to worship more than anything else. Ive
led worship in our church for years. Ive written books on it.
Worship is the most important thing in my life because it
protects the rest of my life. Psalm 150:6 says, Let everything
that has breath praise the Lord.
When you become ashamed of public worship, you are an
embarrassment to Gods assignment for you as a man. On
Sunday, you should be the first one at church, sitting up front,
because you are the worship leader, not your wife, sisters, or
daughters. The first thing that makes you a man is your
capacity to enter Eden.
To Manifest What God Put inside You
The second purpose of a male is work, which actually means
to manifest what God put inside you. I researched this word
and found that in one sense work means to become. Work is
not something you do; it is something you become. What are
you becoming?
The reason many people are poor and struggling is that they
have found a job but have never found their true work. A job is
not designed to prosper you. It is designed to pay bills. A man
is someone who has discovered who and what he is supposed
to become. You are alive because theres some work God
wanted manifested on earth that He buried inside you. He
wants you to reveal it. You are not a mistake. When you go to
work, you are actually to go to become.
When you go to your job every day, are you becoming what
you dreamed of? Perhaps you are in the right place with your
employment and you thank God for it. But too many peoples
jobs stop them from becoming. They are told what to do, when
to do it, how long to do it, and when to go home. Theres no
room for them to become, and their manhood is stifled by a job
they hate. Every Monday morning, theyre depressed as they
sit in traffic on their way to their jobs because it is not their true
work.
Work reveals the potential God has placed within you.
Suppose I have a mango seed, and I plant it and say to it,
Work. Im telling it that I want to see a tree with mangos that
have their own seed in them and can nourish people. Im telling
it, I know that inside of you there is a potential you must
reveal: a mango tree. Work, to a mango seed, is becoming a
mango tree with mangos that provide nutrients for the
community. Notice what happens when the mango tree fulfills
its purpose. No mango tree eats its own mangos. They are not
for their own benefit but for the benefit of people. They bring
people health.
You, too, were born with something trapped in you that
the world is supposed to benefit from, and thats your work.
Many men are afraid to talk about their dreams, but God is
saying to you, Manifest yourself! I want to see what I put into
you.
I dont have a job anymore, but I used to. I worked for the
Bahamas government for twelve years. I taught junior high
school for five years. I worked in a food store before that,
packing shelves. I worked in a warehouse lifting boxes. I
worked in an ad firm, doing advertisments, drawings, and so
forth. These were learning experiences. But then I found my
true work of helping others understand how to manifest their
God-given leadership potential. I dont wake up in the morning
and go to work. I wake up and become what God created me
to be.
Jesus said, Let your light so shine before men, that they
may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in
heaven (Matthew 5:16 kjv). When other people see your
work, when they see you manifesting what God put into you,
they will glorify God. You were born to do something so
awesome that only God could get the credit for it. Some of the
most remarkable people in the world are reading this book, and
the world doesnt know it yet. Your work is your purpose, and
your purpose is the original intent of your Creator. Purpose is
the reason you were born; its why you exist.
While purpose is why you were born, vision is when you
start seeing it yourself. I believe most men have already been
seeing or sensing their purpose, but it is so big that theyre
afraid of it. Their dreams frighten them. Thats why they settle
for jobs they hate. Let me tell you something about Gods
vision and work in your life: if Gods assignment for you
doesnt frighten you, I question whether its really His purpose.
A God-given purpose can only be fulfilled through His
guidance and strength.
What Is Vision?
Vision is purpose in pictures.
Vision is the capacity to see beyond your
physical eyes. A male should never live only by
what he sees.
Vision is finished purpose. Thats why you can
see it.
Vision is your future, but since God has already planned it, its
in His past. Whatever you were born to do is already
finished in Him. Many are the plans in a mans heart, but it is
the Lords purpose that prevails (Proverbs 19:21). Gods
purpose for your life as a male is already established; Hes not
worried about your future. He wants you to cease worrying
about it and start making plans to go there.
Have you been seeing pictures of your dream? When you
turn the TV and computer off, and everything is quiet, do you
start thinking of your future? Your dreams are close to you, but
theyre being drowned out by your music, your phone, and
other people talking. In the Bible, whenever God wanted to
speak to a man about his work, He always took him away from
other people. God took Abraham to a mountain all by himself.
He took Moses to the desert. David heard from God when he
was out tending sheep in the hills. You cant hear Gods plan if
you are always around other people, always in the midst of a
group of friends. God needs to isolate you so you can see
pictures of your future again.
Purpose produces vision, and a vision produces a plan.
Once theres a plan, it produces discipline in you. Write down
your purpose, and then get some pictures symbolizing that
purpose and what you need to fulfill it, and put them on your
refrigerator. I cut out pictures of my dream and put them where
I could see them every day. And I would say, Thats what Im
going to do. I remember the first day I put a picture of an
airplane on my refrigerator. I needed one because of the
numerous speaking engagements I have. My son asked, Dad,
what are you doing? I said, Im looking at my future. I also
remember my first flight in that aircraft with my son. He said,
Daddy, it came off the refrigerator! I said, Yes, Son, you
have to see it first!
Stop thinking small. Your dreams are not crazy. They are your
work. Staying in a job that is not right for you is like a fish
trying to be a horse. Thats why you have high blood pressure.
Thats why theres so much stress in your life. Youre doing
things you werent born to do.
A woman was created by God to help a man, but the man has
to be doing something! Gods purpose for creating the female
was to help the male with his purpose-assignment. Thats how
important your purpose is. If you dont know what you were
born to do, dont get married yet. If you are already married,
and you dont know your purpose, your wife is probably living
with frustration. When a man finds his work, a woman finds her
assignment. I believe many marriages are breaking up because
women are not helping their husbands with the work God has
given them. Your wife is waiting for you to find your purpose
because her assignment in life is tied to it. She was designed to
help you. She may also have her own work, but for her to help
you fulfill yours, you have to know your purpose.
God designed everything with the ability to fulfill its
purpose. He designed a female to help a male, so everything
God put in the female works toward that purpose. Thats why a
woman is such a frightening creature. She is one mean helping
machine. When she shows up in your life, she has everything
you need. She has insight, intuition, stamina, wisdom, counsel,
the ability to carry burdens, and the capacity to incubate ideas.
She can talk about your vision and protect your resources. She
comes with a keen mind, academic degrees, and psychological
stability. Some men call all this aggression. Do you know
why they call it that? Women come to them with excellent
qualities and resources to help them, but they arent doing
anything, and so they are intimidated. And then this is what
happens: since the men arent doing anything for them to help
with, the women dont want to waste what they have, so they
help themselves. They start their own businesses with the gifts
they would have used to help their husbands. Now the
husbands get even more jealous and angry. So its vital for men
to understand their purpose in life.
How can you know what your purpose is? I want you to
make a commitment to discover and pursue your work. Ask
God to reveal it to you as you seek. He says, I am God, and
there is none like me. I make known the end from the
beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My
purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please (Isaiah
46:910). You were not born just to make a living, but you were
born to start something that is already finished in the mind of
God. That is why you dream. Make a commitment to the
purpose of God for your life, and to the God of that purpose.
In chapter two, we talked about the male as the anchor of the
family. You must be anchored to your God-given purpose in
order to give your family direction in difficult times. Even
though the storm rages, the billows come over your head, and
the winds blow and break the mast, if your anchor is already
attached to your purpose, you will arrive safely at your
destination. To be tough in tough times, you have to know
where youre going.
Here are some practical keys to helping you find your purpose
in life, drawn from my book The Principles and Power of
Vision. Ask yourself:
What is my deepest desire?
What is my reoccurring dreamthe one that doesnt go away?
What do I desire to change in the world? Many men have
thoughts of this nature every day, but they drown them out.
Theres something in your mind and heart that bothers you,
and you say to yourself, I wish I could change that in the
world. Whatever that thing is, it may be what you were born
to do.
What makes me angry? Whenever you see what you were
born to change, it makes you angry. If you hate corruption in
government, you may be called to be a public servant or a
reporter. If you hate to see young people hanging around in
the street with nothing to do, you were probably meant to work
with young people and solve their problems. If you hate
sickness with a passion, you may have been born to be a
medical practitioner. Think about whatever makes you angry
and what you might do to change it.
What is my deepest passion? You have to find out what you
could do for the rest of your life even if you were never paid for
it. The amazing thing is that, when you find it, you will get paid
for it because you will exhibit the energy, commitment,
knowledge, and skills that cause people to notice you.
What am I willing to die for? Perhaps you have never thought
about this question before. Thats why your life has little depth
and meaning. I would die for what I do. I was born to raise up
Third World leaders and to train Third World people to think
like leaders. My mission statement is Transforming followers
into leaders and leaders into agents of change. Thats my life
in one sentence. You have to be able to articulate your purpose
in one sentence. Jesus said, The Son of Man did not come to
be served, but togive his life as a ransom for many
(Matthew 20:28). Essentially, He was saying, Im a ransom.
That was His mission in one sentence. He didnt say, I am
going to give you ransom, but I have come to give My life as
a ransom. Remember that your work is what you are. Jesus is a
ransom. I am a leader-trainer. What are you?
 Start dreaming. Close your eyes and see the future. Perhaps
you are thinking, I wish I had known this twenty years ago. I
would be much farther along in life than I am now. Its not too
late. Say, Im starting today. Im going from my job toward my
work. Let God speak to you about His purpose for you.
You dont want to waste another day on just a job. You dont
want to waste the next ten years struggling with what it means
to be a man who fulfills his purpose. Let God show you again
the dream you threw away. Ask God to shine on you the same
light He shone on Moses so you can see and hear your
purpose. Ask Him to show you what makes you angry, the
thing that wont leave you, the passion in your heart. None of
us knows everything, regardless of our education, knowledge,
and experience. We need God to direct us in our purpose and
vision. As an act of obedience, go before God and say,
Connect me to my purpose; anchor me to my destiny. I commit
to reading Your Word so that I can know Your commands. I
break my ego. I bow my pride before You. Show me who I am.
Give me a desire for Eden. Help me to want to be in Your
presence. Without You, I can do nothing. I surrender to the
lordship of Jesus. He knows whats inside methe seed of
my life. Let me hear His voice; speak to Me again. Reveal
Yourself to me. Ive gone about things in my own way. Ive
tried my own things. Ive made my own plans. But I come to
You now and say, Your kingdom come, Your will be done. Not
my will, but Yours, be done.
To Be a Cultivator
The third purpose of the man is to be a cultivator. We talked
about the fathers function of cultivation earlier, but I want you
to fully realize that you do not just cultivateyou are by
nature a cultivator. You are a cultivator designed by God. This
means you are one who improves things, who maximizes the
potential of the people and resources around you. You are
designed to bring out the best in everything under your care.
This is why God will not give you a finished product. For
example, He wont give you a business. Instead, Hell give you
an idea and say, I want you to bring the best out of that.
Cultivate it. I built my organization from seven people to one
hundred full-time workers with the potential of reaching
millions of people every week. People see the organization for
what it is today, but I had to cultivate it every single day of the
last thirty years.
Men are cultivators. God hid products and resources in the
physical world and watched to see what we would do with
them. Did you know that 98 percent of all inventions are by
males? You will never be given a finished product by God. Hell
only give you raw material. God wont even give you a
completed woman. The perfect woman you are looking for does
not exist. Many men get divorced because they are
disappointed in the women they married. They dont
understand that you have to cultivate your wife. God will give
you a woman who is raw material. It is your job to love her as
God loves her by helping her maximize her potential, improve
her life situation, and be the best she can be.
When I first married my wife, she was so introverted that I
had to make her talk to me. Four people were too much of a
crowd for her. She was afraid of expressing herself. When I
discovered being a cultivator was part of my purpose as a
husband (father), I began to draw out of her what she really
had inside her. Today, my wife travels around the world
ministering and speaking to thousands and tens of thousands
of people. This is the woman who was afraid to be in a room
with four people. God wants you to help your wife fulfill the
plans He has for her.
The Scripture says,
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church
and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her
by the washing with water through the word, and to present
her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle
or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (Ephesians
6:2627)
Jesus Christ is a Husband. His wifes name is Ecclesia (the
church, the bride of Christ). He will minister to her and develop
her until she is radiant and everything He desires her to be.
He will present her as a glorious bride. This is the way
husbands are to love their wives. In other words, if you are not
proud of your wife, you are the failure. If you are ashamed of
your wife, you should be ashamed of yourself. The more you
criticize her, the more evidence there is of your failure. Instead,
the longer your wife lives with you, the better she should
become. A good man brings out the best in his wife.
Men, therefore, are designed by God to be cultivators who
dont just sit on good ideas but implement them, who dont
complain about others but see their potential and help them
reach it. Ask God to start working out the ideas He has put
within you. Tell Him you are sorry for your procrastination, and
decide today that you will begin to cultivate them. Repent for
criticizing your wife and children, discover their hidden
potential, and lovingly cultivate what God has placed within
them.
To Be a Protector
The fourth purpose of the male is to protect. Even though
many women may feel they are able to protect themselves, you
are still called to be the protector of your family. Remember that
God told Adam to guard everything in the garden. You were
designed to guard and defend, and to cover everything under
your care and in your sphere of influence. That includes your
wife, your children, your neighbors, and your community.
Many men dont think about protecting othersthey think
about how they can use them. As I wrote earlier, if you are a
single man on a date with a young lady, you are supposed to
protect her from even your own sexual desires. She is
supposed to feel safe in your automobile. You are supposed to
guard her virginity, not destroy it. Real men protect; they dont
seduce. Again, God designed you with physical strength in
order to defend women, not to use your strength to overpower
them. That is abuse of power. You are supposed to be the
safest place any woman can be.
How many men use their gifts to destroy women? Christ
protected women! He was a guard for them. Children were safe
with Him. He didnt abuse them. He blessed them. A good man
always leaves a woman better when she leaves his presence.
Let this be the last day you misuse a woman. Say, Lord,
forgive me for any time that I have used, manipulated, or
abused a woman. Forgive me, and may they forgive me. Today,
I am a guard, a protector, and a preserver. Amen.
Men are called to protect their families and communities from
the negative and destructive currents of our modern society.
Remember our definition of an anchor? It is a reliable or
principal support: mainstay, something that serves to hold an
object firmly, and anything that gives stability and security.
If a boat is drifting with a current, and you put the anchor
down on a rock, it stops the boat from being controlled by the
current. This is very important for males. The current of our
modern society is filled with so many strong influences to do
all kinds of unhealthy things that the male needs to come back
in the family, put his anchor on the rock of a solid principle, and
say, Were not going in that direction.
Note that an anchor does not stop the current; the current
will come. Rather, it stops the boat you are in. How many
things have you stopped from happening to your son? How
many things have you stopped from happening to your
daughter? You see your daughter wearing certain clothes or
looking a certain way, or you see your son watching something
inappropriate on the Internet, and you say, No, not in this
house. A male is an anchor, and an anchor stops things. You
know that your daughter and son are being taught in school
that homosexuality and lesbianism are acceptable, and theyre
coming home and beginning to talk to you about whether it is
right or wrong, and you as a kingdom father have to put the
anchor down and stop them and say, Thats not for us.
Many times, I had to tell my son and daughter, That music
not in this house. That type of clothingnot in this house.
This boat is anchored. And they made it through the
turbulent waves. They are upstanding young people who
dont have memories they cant enjoy.
An anchor stops things. As a pastor, you are supposed to
be the anchor of your church. When divisive things are
happening in your church, and you know theyre happening,
you have to put your foot down like an anchor and say, Not in
this ministry. Youre the foundation. Men, in whatever setting
youre inhome, church, school, work, or communityyou
are designed to protect those around youthe weak, the
vulnerable, the oppressed, women, children, your brothers. A
real man is a protecting man.
To Be a Teacher
Fifth, the males purpose is to teach the instructions God
gave him. As I wrote earlier, you need to learn the Word of God
so you can be in a position to become the one who teaches.
Whatever God calls for, He provides for. Whatever God creates
something to do, He builds in the capacity to do it. God built
you with the teacher psyche. Men in all countries are wired to
be teachers. The problem is that many of them dont know the
lessons.
You are the teacher in your home. You are the one who is
supposed to have the information, the instruction. It starts with
you. That means you have to hear from God first. Perhaps you
have never read the Bible. You may have read a few verses
from Psalms, but youve never read the Bible from Genesis to
Revelation. Youre forty years old and youve never read the
Bible, but youre attempting to be the head of the home!
Can you teach your wife the Word of God? Do you know
enough of the Word to become the teacher of your children? If
the answer is no, get busy and make a commitment to read the
New Testament first. We need men who know the Word, not
men who know the football scores and the names of every
player on their favorite basketball team. You know who got
drafted, but you dont know who Malachi is or why his book in
the Bible is important.
Realize you were born to be a teacher. Thats why you hate it
when youre driving and youre trying to find a certain place
and your wifes saying, I think we should turn here, and you
say, Be quiet; Im driving. She says, I think we just passed
the road, and you say, Im driving. Yes, men, were driving.
After about twenty hours, we finally turn around and say, You
know, I think I might have missed it somewhere. And then we
add, Dont you dare say I told you so. Even when were
stupid, we dont want to be taught. When a man doesnt know,
he doesnt want you to tell him he doesnt know. He wants to
be a sophisticated fool.
I challenge you to read and study. I read four books a month
because I am the foundation and anchor of my home. In a
sense, I have two houses: my home and my church. I have a
house with two thousand people in it every week. When Im on
television, my house has 1.8 million people in it. I have a big
house; I have to read even more because they listen to my
instruction and I have to know what I am saying.
The Marks of a Man of Purpose
To sum up, here are the marks of a man of purpose:
He loves Eden. He loves Gods presence. He
possesses a true self-image based on his
knowledge that God created him in His own
image. He knows who he is.
He desires to work. If you meet a man who
doesnt like work, hes not a real man, a man of
purpose.
He is able to cultivate.
He commits to protect everything under his care.
He knows the Word of God, and he teaches it.
What a beautiful picture of what a real man isand what a
picture of fatherhood that reflects Father God. If I were a
woman, Id marry that man right away. He knows who he is,
where he is, and what hes supposed to be doing. Hes able to
cultivate, protect, and teach Gods Word. Thats the kind of
man every woman is looking for. Many women are confused
today because they cant find that man. They meet men who
have high-paying jobs, wear nice clothes, and own expensive
houses and cars, but who dont know what really matters.
They meet men who are wandering aimlessly in life and unable
to support themselves because they have no clear purpose.
The women are asking, Whats happening?
I want to see you change things in your life, family, job,
ministry, and community by understanding and fulfilling your
God-given purpose. You will discover your true image and
purpose only in your Creator.
We now turn to our final issue in The Fatherhood Principle
fathering the fatherless.
Chapter Principles
1. The only way for a man to discover and live out
his inherent fatherhood nature in a time of social
change is to maintain a focus on his God-given
purpose rather than roles that are related to a
certain culture or time in history.
2. Five vital purposes of the male are (1) to dwell in
Gods presence, (2) to manifest what God put
inside you, (3) to be a cultivator, (4) to be a
protector, and (5) to be a teacher.
3. When a man gets into Gods presence, he begins
to function again.
4. Work reveals the potential God has placed within
you. You were born with something trapped in
you that the world is supposed to benefit from.
5. God doesnt give males the finished product but
the raw material with which to cultivate.
6. Men are designed to guard, defend, and cover
everything under their care and in their spheres
of influence.
7. The male must know Gods Word in order to
teach the instructions God gave him.
7 See Strongs Exhaustive Concordance, #H8104 and the New American Standard
Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible (NASC), The Lockman Foundation, #H8104.
Used by permission.
Chapter 12

Fathering the
Fatherless
I pray that fathers who read this book will receive the Spirit of
the Fathernot just for their own families, but also for the
church and our culture. The spirit of a father is the awareness
that everyone around a father is his responsibility.
As we have studied in Genesis, the woman and the family
came out of the man. So every woman and child that a father
meets is his responsibility if they are fatherless. Godly fathers
must become fathers of their communities and nations. There
are many women who have husbands who are not functioning
in their lives as source and sustainer. There are many children
who have only a biological father, not a true father. So we, as
Christian fathers, must be sure that we take responsibility by
praying for these families and supporting them in other ways
so that they may be restored to their heavenly Fathers plan for
their lives.
There are also women and children who have lost husbands
and fathers to divorce or death. James wrote, Religion that
God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look
after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself
from being polluted by the world (James 1:27). The fatherless
should be fathered by Christian men who can step in the gap,
sustaining and cultivating them.
David declared, A father to the fatherless, a defender of
widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in
families (Psalm 68:56). What is the family into which God
places the fatherless? It is His family, the church. We are to go
wherever the fatherless are found and become a father and
family to them. If you are a widow or a divorced woman, I
encourage you to find a church that preaches the Word of God
and has godly men and women who can strengthen you and
your children in Gods ways and who will be a family to you.
Theres a fathering parable in Matthew 25 in which Jesus
reveals that those who truly follow Him will father those who
are in prison, hungry, naked, thirsty, sick, and strangers. Men,
inasmuch as we father the least of these, we minister unto the
Lord Himself.
Many of those in prison are men who never had a father like
the Father. How do we heal that? Godly fathers must go out
and father them. Recall once more the prophecy for our day in
Malachi 4:6: He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their
children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else
I [God] will come and strike the land with a curse. When
godly fathers fail to father the fatherless in a society, a curse
comes upon that land. Scripture never mentions returning the
hearts of the children back to the mothers because our greatest
problem is a father problem.
We must incorporate the scriptural functions of fatherhood
into our lives so that we will finally understand and fulfill our
true priority, position, and role as males. God the Father is our
Source. Masses of men must return to God the Father so that
the childrens hearts may be turned to their fathers and to God.
We need men of the Spirit to be responsible as progenitors and
providers for the future generations, and men who are fathers
to be willing to sustain their offspring.
My friend Jesse Duplantis told me a story about when he was
waiting at a traffic light in Louisiana and a man came up to his
car. This man looked terrible, was wearing dirty clothes, and
was carrying a piece of cardboard that said help the poor. The
Holy Spirit spoke to Jesse and said, Why do you think this man
is poor? He answered, Maybe he cant find a job, maybe he
has physical problems. The Holy Spirit said, No. This man is
on the street today begging because of bad family
relationships. When he told me that story, my life was
changed. I am from a family of eleven children, and my father is
now in his eighties. I decided that none of my family would
ever beg as long as I am alive. In other words, as long as
theres a man in the house, no one will be on the street.
As a fatherlike the Fatherremember that every child you
meet is your responsibility. You are to support and pray for that
childs father, or to be a father to the child if he or she is
fatherless. Every woman you meet is your responsibility; she is
to be treated with dignity and respect. Every elderly person
you meet is your responsibility; he or she is to be treated as
you would treat your own parent.
This book is a clarion call to men to be the fathers God the
Father created them to be. It is time that fathers answer Gods
call to be responsible for the fatherless in their churches,
communities, and nations. If the male doesnt hold like an
anchor, society goes adrift and crashes on the rocks of
immorality and broken values, and we lose the vision and
destiny of the country and the programs and resources of the
community. Everything falls apart when the anchor isnt
holding.
In Africa, there is a well-known concept that has become
familiar to many of us: It takes a village to raise a child. That
concept is also found in the Bible:
Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these
members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we
who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all
the others. (Romans 12:45)
[An expert in the law] wanted to justify himself, so he asked
Jesus, And who is my neighbor? In reply Jesus said: A man
was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into
the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat
him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened
to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he
passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to
the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a
Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when
he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged
his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on
his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The
next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the
innkeeper. Look after him, he said, and when I return, I will
reimburse you for any extra expense you may have. Which of
these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell
into the hands of robbers? The expert in the law replied, The
one who had mercy on him. Jesus told him, Go and do
likewise. (Luke 10:2937)
The whole community is responsible for each person, and the
destiny of each person is shaped by the whole community. We
have a corporate responsibility to father our fatherless. We are
not in this alone. Together, we are a community of faith; we are
the church, which is Gods family, in which every member
supports and cares for every other member.
I believe that the church should form the most magnificent and
magnanimous adoption agency in the twenty-first century.
The way you change a nation is not by attacking the
government, but by being a true father to your children and
those who are fatherless. Thats the way God did it in every
situation. Godly fatherhood is the key to this generation and all
to come.
Consider this final thought: Gods Son entered into this
world and had to be adopted by an earthly fatherJoseph.
Joseph could have rejected Mary as supposedly having been
unfaithful to him and gotten pregnant by another man, but he
didnt. He believed what God told him through the angel. At
great personal risk and sacrifice to himself, Joseph stepped out
responsibly and became the earthly father of Jesus, Savior of
the world.
 Fathers, be like the heavenly Father to your own families,
communities, and nations. Ask Him to fill up any empty spots
in your life that your father couldnt fill. Forgive your father if
he wasnt there for you, or if he was alcoholic or abusive. Go to
your heavenly Father, and let Him make you a strong
foundation, a secure anchor, so you can help bring healing to
the land, restoring individuals and families. Then future
generations will rise up and give glory to our Father.
Chapter Principles
1. The spirit of a father is the awareness that
everyone around a father is his responsibility.
2. Godly fathers become fathers of their
communities and nations.
3. As Christian fathers, we are to go to wherever the
fatherless are found and become fathers and
families to them.
4. When we incorporate the fatherhood functions in
our lives, we will finally understand our true
priority, position, and role as males.
5. By being a father like God the Father to your
family, community, and nation, you will help bring
healing to the land, and future generations will
rise up and give glory to our heavenly Father.
 About the Author
Dr. Myles Munroe is an international motivational speaker,
best-selling author, educator, leadership mentor, and consultant
for government and business. Traveling extensively
throughout the world, Dr. Munroe addresses critical issues
affecting the full range of human, social, and spiritual
development. The central theme of his message is the
maximization of individual potential, including the
transformation of followers into leaders and leaders into agents
of change.
Dr. Munroe is founder and president of Bahamas Faith
Ministries International (BFMI), a multidimensional
organization headquartered in Nassau, Bahamas. He is chief
executive officer and chairman of the board of the International
Third World Leaders Association and president of the
International Leadership Training Institute.
Dr. Munroe is also the founder and executive producer of a
number of radio and television programs aired worldwide. In
addition, he is a frequent guest on other television and radio
programs and international networks and is a contributing
writer for various Bible editions, journals, magazines, and
newsletters, such as The Believers Topical Bible, The African
Cultural Heritage Topical Bible, Charisma Life Christian
Magazine, and Ministries Today. A popular author of over
forty books, his works include The Most Important Person on
Earth, The Spirit of Leadership, The Principles and Power of
Vision, Understanding the Purpose and Power of Prayer,
Understanding the Purpose and Power of Woman, and
Understanding the Purpose and Power of Men.
Dr. Munroe has changed the lives of multitudes around the
world with a powerful message that inspires, motivates,
challenges, and empowers people to discover personal
purpose, develop true potential, and manifest their unique
leadership abilities. For over thirty years, he has trained tens of
thousands of leaders in business, industry, education,
government, and religion. He personally addresses over
500,000 people each year on personal and professional
development. His appeal and message transcend age, race,
culture, creed, and economic background.
Dr. Munroe has earned B.A. and M.A. degrees from Oral
Roberts University and the University of Tulsa, and he has
been awarded a number of honorary doctoral degrees. He has
also served as an adjunct professor of the Graduate School of
Theology at Oral Roberts University.
Dr. Munroe and his wife Ruth travel as a team and are involved
in teaching seminars together. Both are leaders who minister
with sensitive hearts and international vision. They are the
proud parents of two college graduates, Charisa and Chairo
(Myles, Jr.).