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Does Divorce Turn Children in to Troubled Adults?

Does Divorce Turn Children in to Troubled Adults?

Cuyler Mosley

Abstract
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Does Divorce Turn Children in to Troubled Adults?

Divorce rates in the U.S have been climbing for a while now, for many reasons

ranging from marring too young to financial reasons. With so many people in the

United States getting divorced, that means the numbers for broken families are

rising too. Most of the attention is usually focused on the adults of the situation, but

children of divorce are effected by the divorce of their parents as well. In some

cases, children are effected by the divorce more than the parents are. I chose to

take a deeper look into whether or not the problems stemming from their parents

divorce affect them as adults. I will use multiple sources to answer the main

question, and identify evidence to support m argument on the topic.

The number of people getting divorced is at an all-time high. According to the

American Psychological Association, about forty to fifty percent of married couples

in the United States will eventually get divorced. Due to the high amount of failed

marriages, there is a great deal of attention being directed at adults getting

married. It is logical that all of the initial scrutiny is on the adults of the situation

because they are in the center of the conflict. However, often times they are not the

only ones involved in the break up. Unless the subject of custody is being discussed,

children are frequently forgotten about in the exhausting process of going through a

divorce. Although in some cases they are the ones most affected by the failed

marriage. Children naturally look up to their parents, and regularly pick up on their

habits while learning from them. From a young age children base their relationships

off of the one they see in front of them every day, their parents. If they are witness

an unsuccessful relationship, they may never know what a real healthy partnership

looks like. Learning negative relationship tendencies can cause problems when the

kids are growing in to adults and creating connections of their own, it could possibly

turn them into troubled adults.

During my research it wasnt difficult to find sources that support the idea

that divorce can turn children into troubled adults. In fact, there was an

overwhelming amount of evidence that supported the claim. Perhaps the most

telling of all the information is that fact that, adults who were raised in a family

where their parents split, are twice as likely to get divorced as adults who grew up

in a two parent household. The numbers are even more staggering when an adult

who grew up in a divorced family, marries someone else from a divorced family;

that marriage is three times as likely to be unsuccessful (Piorkowski para. 3). These
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Does Divorce Turn Children in to Troubled Adults?

statistics are eye opening, they clearly illustrate that divorce can easily become a

cycle that gets passed down through generations.

Divorce is a difficult concept for adults, it is twice as hard to understand for

children. William Mosier wrote a great article about how parents who are splitting up

need to make sure their kids know what is going on. He touched mainly on the

parents being there emotionally for the children following their break up, to prevent

the problems in their relationship from being passed down to the kids. According to

Mosier the intensity of the separation of the parents can cause tremendous

emotional trauma to both the parents and the children. Trauma so devastating that

Mosier compared divorce to a death in the family. He was demonstrating the

emotional toll divorce takes on everyone involved, with an emphasis on how

children especially of young ages are not able to handle or understand the situation

alone. As the adults of the situation it is their responsibility to care for their kids and

make sure that they understand that both parents love them, and them separating

has nothing to do with their behavior (Mosier para. 2). If the separation is not

explained to the child, they most likely will have problems later in life that stem

directly from the divorce of their parents. That is why Mosier stresses that

communication in these situations is key, without communicating the problems can

be endless.

The bottom line is that children are exposed to very sensitive and stressful

situations when parents divorce. Having to deal with conflicting feelings, loss of

close relationships, and even remarriage at a young age can produce a harmful a

state of mind for the child. Sarah-Marie Hopf acknowledges those very real risks,

before saying that most children possess the resilience to deal with the pressures
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Does Divorce Turn Children in to Troubled Adults?

and unfamiliar settings of divorce, and mature into well-adjusted adults, (Hopf

para. 2). She went on to say that in order for the child to be resilient, that child

needs to be in a thriving environment. Where the child is supported by the parents,

school and social atmospheres. But what happens when a child is not able to be in a

thriving environment? The chances of becoming an adult that struggles with

interpersonal relationships are significantly higher.

Based on the research Mosier and Piorkowski clearly support the idea that

divorce can be harmful to children, while Hopfs article only recognizes that it can

possibly produce troubled adults. The trio of articles all focused on how divorce

effects the childs relationships with other people, throughout childhood and all the

way into adulthood. In some cases, their writing made similar arguments, that the

children learn directly from their parents. If a child watches their parents fight and

have issues expressing themselves, they too might have problems expressing

themselves in their relationships. But if they only see positive caring actions from

their elders, then that is all they will know.

These sources had a substantial amount of similarities when arguing the

effects of divorce on children. The sources differed in the topic of solutions for the

children of divorce. Each had a unique vision to help the children, and surprisingly

they were all within reason. In Piorkowskis article the tone seemed to be a little

more negative regarding the hopefulness that the children will be able to overcome

the learned hurtful behaviors that stem from the separation of their parents.

Nevertheless, Piorkowski still believed that a change can be made in order for the

children to have functional relationships, she just didnt sound as optimistic. Mainly

because she believed that the children themselves would have to identify the
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Does Divorce Turn Children in to Troubled Adults?

problems in order to help themselves. Since the focus of her piece was to help and

inform children of divorce that they dont have to be a part of the continuing cycle.

She provided material that would allow the reader to identify their own problems

with their intimate relationships and fix them (Piorkowski para 15.).

On the other hand, Mosiers article seemed to believe that if the parents took

a proactive role in communicating with their children, that the kids would be able to

have healthy relationships of their own when they become adults. Mosier was very

confident that parents who neglect communication with their child through the

divorce, will harm their child emotionally (para 6.). That emotional suffering can

lead them into uneasy connections with people as adults as well as throughout the

remainder of their childhood.

They all have very convincing arguments that they make in their writing, but

Piorkowski and Hopf use more opinion based writing than Mosier does. The trio of

authors have done their research on the topic and seem to be well informed, but

Mosier focuses on the facts of his research which puts together an argument that is

hard to disagree with. Following all the research I did from finding multiple sources

that support my argument that divorce can possibly turn children into troubled

adults, specifically with their relationships. I have learned a collection of facts and

stats that make me feel exceedingly convinced about the topic. My view on the

subject matter has not changed because most of the research I did, I found

information that backed my opinion on the topic. Divorce does negatively affect

childrens relationships as the grow into adults. It doesnt entirely assure that they

will be troubled adults, but it can contribute to them having difficulties with

interpersonal relationships.
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Does Divorce Turn Children in to Troubled Adults?

References

Hopf Sarah-Marie. 2015. Most Children Adjust to The Negative Effects of Divorce.

Opposing

Viewpoints.

Mosier William. 2015. When Parent Divorce They Must Emotionally Support Their

Children.

Opposing Viewpoints
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Does Divorce Turn Children in to Troubled Adults?

Piorkowski Geraldine K. Adult Children of Divorce Are More Likely to Have

Relationship Issues.

Opposing Viewpoints