Amanda Amico

Commented [1]: Amico, make sure you doublespace your papers with 12-point Times New Roman
font unless otherwise instructed. Standard "college
paper" formatting.

English 101-108
November 4, 2016

Commented [2]: Cool start so far, Amico.

Question: which ones?? Put yourself in your
reader's shoes: would you like to know which
textual genres you'll be reading about in the paper?
(I would!)

Approaching Amityville
Amityville: Horror or Hoax? Exploiting emotions or angry ghosts? This is what comes to mind
when I think of that spooky Dutch Colonial at 112 Ocean Avenue. Amityville and the events that
transpired there may possibly be one of the most sensational and controversial cases of alleged
evil presences. It is credited to be the most famous haunting in America. Amityville attracted a
lot of attention both good and bad, wich resulted in a self-titled best -selling novel and major
motion picture. After reading several different genres on this topic, and reading rhetorically, Ive
come to the conclusion that with intended audience in mind all authors must decide if they want
to approach their piece with a pathos or logos.
Analyzing multiple genres on Amityville made me want to share what I learned. I picked an
article from a webpage named The Unredacted.Com called DeFeo Murders Amityville Horrors
and an interview printed in The Daily Mail (a tabloid paper based in the UK) titled The
Amityville Horror: The boy who lived in the true-life haunted house breaks his 40 year silence.
Choosing to follow tips I learned in my English class I decided to read these like a writer so I
could understand how the text was written (Bunn 79).Needing to know the exigence of these
pieces and their intended audience so I could better support my claims I first looked at the
website The Unredacted and came to the understanding that this site was more for readers who
wanted the uncensored version. Second I looked into the Daily Mail/uk and found this is a
tabloid paper that is fueled off gossip and readers wanting a juicy scoop. Boyd said Every
discipline has its own acceptable jargon, diction, and tone to be learned and applied.
In these cases the author from the unredacted chose to use logos and appeal to the readers logic,
and common sense. However, the author from the daily mail/uk chose to use a completely
different approach and use pathos, appealing to the readers emotions. While navigating genres
knowing what particular genre is called for in a particular situation is crucial (Dirk 259) and I
think the writers of these pieces did a wonderful job of deciding on what approach to take while
setting the tone for the genre they were writing for.

Intros are so crucial/tricky because they provide a

roadmap (for readers) for what's to come in the
whole paper.
Commented [3]: Ah ha! Great observation here.
I'm wondering if you can get just a bit more specific
and tell me which genre/document/author tailors
which piece towards pathos vs logos. In other
words, what kind of audience would an author tailor
his/her piece towards w/ more logos? And more
pathos? (And why?)
Commented [4]: I'd like to see you use your topic
sentence -- here and maybe elsewhere -- as more
of an "idea anchor" for what's coming up in the
paragraph. After reading this topic sentence, I'm
left wondering: hmmmm... what's this paragraph
really about??
Commented [5]: Woo hoo! 2 thoughts:
1, why read these pieces "like a writer"? Why that
instead of other ways?
2, You don't need page #s for your citations unless
it's a direct quote.
Commented [6]: Amico, you've got a LOT going on
in this paragraph -- and a lot of real good "ENG
101-108 stuff" too. That's awesome, and it's
exactly what I want, BUT I think it's a bit (or maybe
wayyy) too much to include in 1 paragraph. Here
are some of the things you did/mentioned:
-introduced the 2 genres
-read like a write
-exigence
-supporting claims
-jargon, diction

...

Commented [7]: Which cases? Both? It's unclear

which genre/source you're referring to.
Commented [8]: Where do you see this in their
writing? Can you point to it? Help me SEE what
you want me to see. Hook me up with some textual
evidence.

I mean imagine, what better way to prove a traumatic haunting then to do an emotional interview
with one of the children who experienced it first hand after 40 years of silence- perfect pathos
approach- with shocking lie detector test results to back up his claims? Or perhaps, state your
claim of there possibly being more than one gunman and a hoax, following that with fact by fact,
play by play of what happened with rhetorical evidence and statements from officials appealing
to the readers logic. That is what was done here.
Writing is a combination of conventions used to form a genre. These conventions make up the
context. The genres Im analyzing have conventions that I want to discuss and compare, some
similar and some very different and unique. For instance in both headlines the words Amityville
and Horror are both printed in big bold print, this convention to me states the where (amityville)
and the what (horror). They both also end with an opinionated thought. Some different
conventions I noticed were in the website the unredacted.com the writer chose to format it by
asking questions, providing an answer, then presenting evidence for and against it. This writer
also decided to open with a question while the daily mail/uk chose to open with a step by step
build up. The website story was supported by ballistics and medical examiner reports, along with
local police statements when the tabloid interview was supported by less credible evidence such
as psychic investigators, paranormal specialist and documentary makers. One rock solid piece
that was undebatable is the lie detector test results that George and Kathy Lutz took. The
unredacted delved into the Defeo massacre and gave intended readers confession statements,
speculated theories, and factual reports, all asking you to be logical and look at this based on fact
alone. But the emotionally saturated tabloid paper interview pulled at readers heart strings
speaking of domestic violence, a traumatized child, and a supernatural tale of terror using
vocabulary like menacing, troubled, fled, and tortured to make it impact readers emotions more.
Now conventions arent the only thing I noticed. Lets talk about moves. Moves are a
signature thing someone does or may use to persuade or get some kind of emotion out of
someone. I noticed a move that both genres share, I named this move 5W-1H. the reason I call it
this is because in this move both writers address the who, what, when, where, and how. Now
lets move onto some unique moves used by the writers:
The Unredacted.com:
1. Fact Smack separates article into sections with header questions, then lists facts to
support claim.
2. Prosecution Style writer executes article as a prosecutor would in a courtroom to a jury
of 12, stating why its possible and why its not.
Daily Mail/uk:
1. Feel Me-author wants intended audience to be able to relate to D. Lutz by writing things
like looking tortured while tears welled in his eyes.
2

Commented [9]: OK, this is a great idea. Why

mention all of this HERE, though? (Would it help to
know what makes these genres different -- i.e.,
how/why their conventions are different -- earlier
on?)
Commented [10]: Show me! I need evidence.

Commented [11]: This is all very good and

interesting stuff, but I can't really "buy" what you're
telling me here unless you can really SHOW me.
Can you prove this -- i.e., back up these claims with
textual evidence?
Commented [12]: Happy face/ confused face.
I love hearing about moves! But.... why? Do
"moves" have anything to do with your main
argument? (If so, I think you might need to
articulate why.)
Remember, Amico: everything you include in this
type of "thesis-driven research paper" needs to
BACK UP your argument. If something doesn't back
up your argument, it's irrelevant.

2. Inner Circle Creds- writer tries to make interview/article more credible by putting
testimonies and statements from people in or close to the Lutz family. These included
statements from Daniel Lutz, his cousin Bobby Slyvester, documentary maker Eric Walter.
The moves in the unredacted help to make readers use common sense and logic, while the moves
from the daily mail are presented solely to an individuals emotions. The authors even showed
the approach they decided to take in the form of their visual literacy. The website showed
pictures of the house looking solemn, but normal, while the tabloid chose a scarier probably
edited- picture of the house with light shining out of the half- moon shaped windows, making
them look like eyes on the spooky face that the front of the house forms. The website show a
happy family, all smiles, while tabloid showed a pic of D. Lutz with rosy cheeks and bright eyes
surrounded in darkness, and pictures of family members with occult tools, and women holding
crucifixes, etc. to make it scarier and almost disturbing.
I understand now why the writers chose the approaches they did and how important it is to
understand genres. By analyzing the pieces of writing the way I did, and reading like a writer, I
can now see all the steps taken in the composition of these works and why. I can now explain it
to you how important I feel it is to decide wether you want to approach a piece with pathos and
try to make the readers emotionally feel your writing from deep down inside, or appeal to
readers logic by using logos. Logos depends on the one thing we use often in our daily lives,
common sense. Either way the writers approach will normally be suitable to support their claims.
In closing, I wanted to say we may never truly know what happened at Amityville, but what we
do know is as readers we can be persuaded into believing it was a massacre and a hoax, or a
massacre and a haunting based on the writers choice to approach their writing with pathos or
logos. And this my friend is how you make choices in writing, and discoveries in reading.

Commented [13]: Ha! Super cool! I really dig how

you gave these moves names and described what
they are/do. Again, though, my last comment
applies: is this a core component of your argument?
If so, how? I'm not saying it's irrelevant, I just need
t know HOW/WHY it's relevant.
(Do writers bust out moves that are specifically
tailored to elicit logos and pathos in readers...???)

1. www.theunredacted.com/the-defeo-family-massacre-amityville-horrors/
2. www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2300807/The-Amityville-horror-The-boy-lived-truelife-haunted-house-breaks-40-year-silence.html#ixzz4OhbiI8ID
3. Navigating Genres Kerry Dirk.
4. How to read like a writer Mike Bunn

ENG 101-108 Feedback Matrix for WP1

Table of Textual Features and Qualities

Did Not Meet
Expectations
Thesis Statement
Use of Textual Evidence from
Genres

Met
Expectations
X

XX

Use of Course Readings

Analysis

Organization/Structure

Exceeded
Expectations

Attention to Genre/Conventions
and Rhetorical Factors

Main Focus was Placed on the

Writing Itself and the Writers
Choices (Rather than the Topic)

Sentence-level Clarity,
Mechanics, Flow

X+
Amico,

Comments and Grade

Wow, what a cool paper! Very nice work here.
Youve put yourself in tremendous shape to re-submit
this for the final final draft for the portfolio.
Alright, so please check out my comments on some
ways to revise this. Here are my 3 biggest suggestions:
-1, find out SPECIFICALLY what your main
argument is. I dont, at all, want you to re-do this
whole paper (or much at all, really), I just felt like I
read two separate papers at times: one about
logos/pathos, and another about moves. Are these
ideas related and interconnected? If so, how? Youve
got to find a way to tell me that in your thesis
statementyo, this is my argument!
-2, rely on my TEXTUAL EVIDENCE from the
genres, themselves, to support your claims. Draw my
attention to actual words/phrases/images/etc in these
genres that back up whatever it is that youre trying
to get across.
-3, think about what
STRUCTURE/ORGANIZATION makes the most
sense for your paper. Slow down and break up your
paragraphs1 main idea at a time. Then, I want you
to think: what order/sequence of paragraphs would
make the most sense?

All told, I want to be super-clear here: great work, Im

proud of you.
19/20 2 for being late = 17/20
Z