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Non Verbal Communication During an Introduction: A Case Study of an Interaction between

meeting my fiancs Aunt Gwen and Uncle Eddie for the first time

Department of Speech
University of Arkansas at Little Rock

I was recently engaged and my fianc I had a long distance relationship the entire time.
He came to visit on Christmas and I had the opportunity to meet a lot of the members of his
family. Upon meeting someone that you arent familiar with there are a lot of non verbal cues
that are sent out. There was a reciprocation between non verbal cues that were sent out between

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me and his family members. Some were intended and some werent. It is important to make sure
that you are mindful of non verbal cues so you can send out the right impression and no one is
offended. There is one interaction that I will mention that happened between me and my fiancs
Uncle Eddie that can be better understood through certain non verbal communication concepts
that was discussed throughout our reading.
In this study I will apply three non verbal concepts (facial behavior, eye behavior, and
kinesics) to the meeting that I had with my fiancs Aunt and Uncle. My claim is that the
impression that was created was heavily influenced by non verbal communication and through
the analysis I will focus on how the three non verbal cues played a part in the interaction that I
had. In this analysis I will cover three nonverbal communication concepts, provide a background
of the interaction that I had, provide an analysis of how non verbal cues can create a bad
experience and a bad first impression and last discuss a recommendation on what can be done in
the future to understand non verbal communication and avoid miscommunication.

Non Verbal concepts

The first non verbal concept is kinesics. The definition that I received from our text is
the study of the communicative impact of body movement and
gesture. In Chapter 1, we introduced the various functions of nonverbal communication:
complementing, accenting, contradicting, repeating, substituting,
and regulating. Our body movements convey many messages that serve these
functions. Kinesics behaviors include all gestures, head movements, eye behavior,
facial expressions, posture, and movements of the trunk, arms, legs, feet,
hands, and fingers. Researchers have studied these motions from many perspectives, but most
nonverbal scholars today agree that it is virtually meaningless, and probably inappropriate, to

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study kinesics behaviors apart from their contexts. It is rare that a particular body movement
symbolizes a specific message outside the restrictive environs of the context or culture where it
occurs.
Richmond, Virginia Peck; McCroskey, James C.; Hickson, Mark (2011-08-02). Nonverbal
Behavior in Interpersonal Relations (Page 51). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition. Another study
in kinesics are regulators. The regulator that I will address in my analysis will be turn
maintaining cues. The book says that Regulators are gestures and body movements that, along
with eye and
vocal cues, maintain and regulate the back-and-forth interaction between
speakers and listeners during spoken dialogue. Richmond, Virginia Peck; McCroskey, James C.;
Hickson, Mark (2011-08-02). Nonverbal Behavior in Interpersonal Relations (Page 58). Pearson
Education. Kindle Edition. Studies show that closer proximity and postural relaxation can
influence whether a person likes you. The three different cues that regulates a conversation is the
turn yielding, turn maintaining, turn denying, and requesting regulator. I will discuss the turn
maintaining cue in my analysis. There are eight different communicator styles: the dramatic
style, the dominant, style, the animated style, the relaxed style, the attentive style, the open style,
the friendly style, the contentious style, and the impression-leaving style. I will define the one
that I am placing the most emphasis on in my analysis which is the dominant style and the
relaxed style. Our text defines the dominate style as The dominant communicator uses
nonverbal cues to dominate listeners. Some writers have likened the too-dominant style to a big
stick that beats the listener into a submissive posture. Expansive body posture and movements
that fill space are often associated with dominance. People who quickly approach fellow
interactants are generally seen as dominant. Although these behaviors are more commonly used

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by males, females with dominant styles use them as well, along with more reciprocal eye contact.
Research shows that dominant communicators are perceived as more confident, conceited, selfassured, competitive, forceful, active, and enthusiastic. Richmond, Virginia Peck; McCroskey,
James C.; Hickson, Mark (2011-08-02). Nonverbal Behavior in Interpersonal Relations (Page
67). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition. The second style that I will discuss is relaxed. The book
defines this as The relaxed communicator seems to remain collected and calm internally in
anxiety-producing situations; he or she also manifests relaxation in posture,
movement, and gesture. Rarely do relaxed speakers unconsciously engage in
adaptive-type behaviors. They seem immune to nervous mannerisms and seldom allow their
gestures to get out of control. Communicators with a relaxed
style transmit a variety of messages. According to one investigation, a relaxed
style communicates calmness, serenity, peace, confidence, and comfortableness.
A lack of tension in the body and movements may also indicate self-assurance.
Richmond, Virginia Peck; McCroskey, James C.; Hickson, Mark (2011-08-02). Nonverbal
Behavior in Interpersonal Relations (Page 67). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition. So, lets move
on to the next verbal communicator.
The second non verbal communicator that I will discuss is eye behavior. The study of eye
behavior is called oculesics. The nature of relationships in eye behavior is described as The type
and amount of eye behavior can also reveal the nature of a relationship. Two conversants who
differ in status usually engage in different visual behaviors toward one another. The higher-status
individual generally receives more eye gazes from the lower-status person than the other way
around. Both men and women look less at speakers who are lower in status than themselves.
Richmond, Virginia Peck; McCroskey, James C.; Hickson, Mark (2011-08-02). Nonverbal

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Behavior in Interpersonal Relations (Page 100). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition. Culture,
gender, context, and personality are individual differences in eye behavior.
Facial behavior is the last non verbal communication cue that I will define. Researchers
that study facial behavior state that to study facial behavior is to study emotion it self. The three
different theories of acquisition and development of facial behavior is evolution and nature,
external factors, and innate factors. There are many different variation of facial expressions.
They are the withholder expresser, revealer expresser, unwitting expresser, blanked expresser,
substitute expresser, frozen affect expresser, ever-ready expresser, and flooded effect expressor.
The text concludes the following list of conclusions about facial expressions:
1. We know that, at least in the U.S culture, negative facial behaviors are
expressed less often than positive facial behaviors. It is not polite to look
negative. Therefore, we attempt to look positive even when the situation
is negative.
2. We know that women smile more often than men.
3. We know that many of us have learned to skillfully control our expressions of emotion based
upon the given situation.
4. We know that many of us put on a social smile when the situation
demands that we do so.
5. Most of us have learned great control over the upper portion of our bodies (12 inches and up;
upper shoulders, neck, and head). Therefore, we
can mask what we truly think or feel.
6. Children are born with some innate facial expressions, but many other
expressions are taught by parents.

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7. By looking at various portions of the face, we may detect the true feeling
of that person.
8. The human mouth works overtime.
9. At any given time, an individual may show two or more facial emotions.
Richmond, Virginia Peck; McCroskey, James C.; Hickson, Mark (2011-08-02). Nonverbal
Behavior in Interpersonal Relations (Page 89). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.
The three non verbal communicators I have selected eye behavior, facial behavior, and
kinesics and be seen in the analysis that I have about an interaction between meeting family
members for the first time.

Background

Im an introvert and I never look forward to meeting new people. My comfort zone is
being around people that I am familiar with and in order for me to feel comfortable and
interested in meeting someone new, that person has to present themselves as someone friendly,
less is better when it comes to asking personal questions, and I dont like being forced to
maintain conversations when Im not interested. On Christmas day this past year I met some
family friends of my fianc whom he refers to as his Aunt Gwen and his Uncle Eddie. I was
reluctant to accept the invitation initially to visit the couple and their daughter because I had
already spent the majority of Christmas day meeting his family and in addition to the exhaustion
that stemmed from that I had to go to work the next day. I expressed this concern to him and he
responded by saying that his mom was begging me to go, he would appreciate it if I went, and
that we would only stay 30 minutes and then leave. I was a little bothered by the selfishness in

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the request. To request this after me saying that Im tired and I have to work tomorrow was them
saying indirectly I dont care how tired you are. This is what I want you to do. Can you please
just come? I will admit that my perspective of him and his mother began to shift at this moment
because of how considerate of a person I am and because I thought that they were more
considerate than that as well. To appease my fianc and his mother I decided to go on the
condition that I drove myself there. I wanted to drive there because my experiences in life has
taught me that its always better to drive your own car when doing these type of things so you
can leave when you are ready without any issues. My fianc reassured me that we would go and
leave in 30 minutes so I agreed to drive to his mothers house and ride to see his aunt and uncle
with her from there. Once we made it to his aunt and uncles house I felt a perception of warmth
because of the colors in the house and it also felt cozy. I saw his Aunt and her daughter and they
both appeared to be welcoming through their facial expressions and through their gestures and
movements. Once his uncle entered the room the severing of our unformed relationship had
began and I realized the reason why his mother was so anxious to get me there. The conversation
that I had with his Uncle Eddie felt more like an interrogation than a conversation. I felt like I
was on trial. It was obvious that he had a list of questions in his head that he was already
prepared to ask me and what made the experience so bad was that it wasnt a conversation
between me and everyone in the room. It was just a conversation between me and him. In the
background as I sat on what felt like a hot seat the only thing I remember hearing was his
daughter telling him to stop and chill out and the sound of his mother laughing. The laughter
that I heard from her, the comment that his daughter made, and the smirks that was on my
fiancs face and his aunts face made it clear to me what was going on and why I had been
invited over. His uncle had a dominant style of communicating through his approach and

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expansiveness and he had a neutral facial expression which increased my discomfort. I remember
regretting that I didnt drive my car so I could just leave and I remember having a perception of
constraint because there was nothing that I could do to escape the interrogation. He told my
fianc that he was just looking out for my best interest and I remember my fianc smiling and
saying that he completely understood. At this moment I felt a separation between myself and my
fianc. If I had graduated from an ivy league school and if I had a better history than what I have
the interrogation wouldnt have been as bad, but when you didnt grow up in the best part of
town and when you dont have the same academic success as those around you this type of
interrogation will make you feel as though you are being attacked. Those were the type of
questions he was asked me. During the conversation at times I tried to omit my gaze but he
continued with turn maintaining cues to indirectly let me know that our conversation hadnt
ended. One of the most disgusting parts about that visit was towards the end when his mom
invited me to take a tour of the house. I remember thinking that either she isnt use to anything or
she thinks Im not use to being in a nice home to even ask such a thing. I had no interest in
touring their house. I was also disturbed to overhear my fianc, his uncle, and his uncles
daughter discussing me as the tour ended. I had every intention on pushing out the wedding date
at that point because my fianc, his mother, and his Uncle Eddie and Aunt Gwen had disgusted
me beyond words that night. After discussing this with my fianc the next day, I decided to put
that experience behind me because of his reaction and my forgiving spirit. But I will admit that it
still left a bad after taste for him and his mother. My name is Kasi Henry, and in this case study I
will present how facial behavior, oculesics, kinesics, and environment physical space has an
influence on feelings of discomfort and negative lasting impressions when meeting someone for
the first time.

Analysis
Kinesics is the study of the communicative impact of body movement and gesture. I was
able to set the tone of the moment and an impression was created through the movements and
gestures present at this encounter. During our conversation my fiances uncle displayed a lot of
turn maintain cues. Turn maintaining cues are used by speakers who want to continue talking.
Some of the things he did to continue speaking was to keep eye contact, speak more loudly, and
in some instances he would speak more rapidly. There was also a distance placed between us. He
stood a few feet away from the bar that separated us. Studies show that closer proximity and
postural relaxation can influence whether a person likes you. In this case there was a distance.
His communication style was dominant. He was more in control of the conversation, because of
the posture he had, and because of how he was saying things and I was more relaxed.
Another communication cue that I analyzed in this encounter was eye behavior. The
study of eye behavior is called oculesics and I will definitely say that the eyes are the window to
the soul. I could feel him trying to ready me with his eyes during our conversation. I tried to omit
my gaze to end the conversation at some points and looked around to others to see if they would
be a part of it but I had no success. He continued to speak and everyone that was present
continue to be amused. Our reading says Breaking eye contact and sustaining the break is a
good indication that one is ready to end an interaction. For instance, if you are in an interview
and feel that all is going well, check the eye behavior of the interviewer. He or she
may be telling you, by breaking eye contact, that the time is up. Your failure to
heed this signal may have a negative impact on the interviewer and negate all
those wonderful qualities you have been espousing.

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Richmond, Virginia Peck; McCroskey, James C.; Hickson, Mark (2011-08-02). Nonverbal
Behavior in Interpersonal Relations (Page 93). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.
The last non verbal cue that I analyzed was facial behavior. The study of facial expression
is described in the text as the study of emotion itself. There was a look on his face that I cant
describe at this moment that wasnt welcoming. That had a big effect on the bad experience that I
had. I masked my facial expression during this interaction so he couldnt see how disgusted I
really felt on the inside. Masking is The first facial management technique we learn to use
under certain cultural or social influences is masking. This technique involves repression of the
expressions related to the emotion felt and their replacement with
expressions that are acceptable under the circumstances. Richmond, Virginia Peck; McCroskey,
James C.; Hickson, Mark (2011-08-02). Nonverbal Behavior in Interpersonal Relations (Page
79).. I masked my expression also because this was my fiances uncle and I didnt want to
offend him. I kept a neutral expression on my face at times and other times I forced my self to
smile and laugh. I believe he had more of a revealer style. You see every emotion of sarcasm,
curiosity, and evilness on his face. Which is what created a bad experience for me as well. The
fact that he was asking all of these questions, towering over me, and keeping eye contact to keep
talking will be one of the main reasons as to why I will never go here again.

Recommendation
One recommendation that can be drawn from the non verbal communication cues that
was displayed during this interaction for myself would be consideration. This analysis shows
how the non verbal cues that were displayed from my fiances uncle created a negative first
impression and it severed our non existent relationship from every forming. A lot of the things
that he was saying and a lot of his non verbal cues of assertiveness came from him being

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protective of his nephew. He probably just wanted to make sure that he was in good hands and
that I had pure intentions. My problem in him doing this was the idea that it wasnt his place to
do that. In a situation where someone is being protective such as he was I couldve in my
consideration showed a friendlier non verbal communication behaviors. I communicated non
verbally to him by withdrawing myself. Omitting my gaze and by having a neutral facial
expression on my face.
Another recommendation for myself going forward to better understand non verbal
communication when someone is being disrespectful to me in the future is to ask questions.
Going forward I can ask the reason behind some of the questions that I am being asked to
understand the motive and for the people in the background that were laughing, going forward I
can ask the reason why they are so amused or ask the reason for the laughter.
In conclusion, there are a lot of non verbal communication that goes on during an
interaction when you meet someone for the first time. Some cues intended and some not. Facial
behavior and eye behavior infer personality characteristics which can help you get the feel of the
person that you are meeting and being mindful of your personal actions will mold the experience.