LazyTown: Games & Vinyl

by
Clayton Mistler

Clayton Mistler
[email protected]
(660)-473-0746

ACT ONE
INT. LAZY-TOWN VINYL & GAMES
DAVID is standing outside at the front of his store.
He is clean shaven, balding, has a ponytail. He's the aging
hipster. He's thirty three but tells people he's twenty
eight. He's very insecure and will never admit it to anyone.
Inside now. His store is a "buy-sell-trade" store filled with
anime, video games from the nineties and 2000's, and vinyl
records by bands you've never heard of.
David walks down the aisles and talks to the camera.
DAVID
This is 'Lazy-Town: Vinyl & Games',
this is my store.
Shots of silly action figures and oddly sexual anime covers.
DAVID (CONT'D)
I like to think of this place as a
representation of who I am; an
extension of my personality, if you
will.
As David talks, he leads the cameras past the front counter
past a door marked "Employees Only".
INT. LAZY-TOWN BACK ROOM
Sitting on the floor among many empty video games cases and
open binders is a giant man with bad posture doing
painstaking clerical work. He speaks in a monotone voice, has
a big beard, zero patience for stupidity, and maybe autism.
His name is SPENCER.
SPENCER
(on the phone) No. We don't have
any of the WarPuncher games. (beat)
Because they're stupid. (Void of
any expression)
David walks in to frame.
DAVID
Hi Spencer. He's sort of out
resident librarian, kinda.

2.

SPENCER
Kind of, yes.
CUT TO:
SPENCER TALKING HEAD
Spencer sitting in a chair at the back of the store with his
back to the front. Behind him, an empty store filled with popculture junk.
SPENCER
I keep track of the inventory, the
money, people's wages, I do David's
taxes. I make sure this place
doesn't burn down. (Beat) I also am
an aspiring club promoter.
INT. LAZY-TOWN FRONT COUNTER
We see a man reading something on his cell phone, giving it
all of his attention. His name is HENRY. He is in his
twenties, full beard, looks like he's in a band but he
doesn't have the patience to learn an instrument.
DAVID
This is Henry. One of the shelvers
and money-takers. (Notices Henry on
his phone) Henry? HENRY?
HENRY
Hm? Oh, hey! I didn't know this was
starting today. (nods to cameras)
DAVID
Well, I sent everyone an email. For
someone that's always on his phone,
I'm a bit surprised you didn't
notice an e-mail.
HENRY
I didn't get an e-mail from you.
DAVID
Well, I sent it.
Enter, CARAH, a nineteen-year-old. She's an angry woman,
pretty much all the time. It's mostly a defense though. She's
dressed like a hipster-ish Karen Gillan-Doctor Who companion,
(emo-post-rock)(listens to American Football). She already
looks annoyed.

3.

DAVID (CONT'D)
Hello, Carah. Nice of you to drop
by. (Looks at cameras with a 'can
you believe this chick' look) She
is also a shelver and money-taker.
I'm assuming you're late because
you were busy reading my e-mail
about the documentary crew.
CARAH
I didn't get your e-mail. I got
pulled over.
Carah walks past everyone without acknowledging them and puts
her things away behind the counter.
DAVID
What for?
CARAH
Speeding.
DAVID
No. Why didn't you get my e-mail?
CARAH
Probably because you didn't send
it, David.
DAVID
Well, I sent it.
CARAH
Was it about the cameras being here
today?
DAVID
Yes.
CARAH
Well, I can't say I'm surprised.
You've dropped bigger stuff on us
before.
DAVID
Oh hush. (to the cameras) We tease
each other. We're like a midwestblue collar family. (to Henry) Work
harder, fatty!
HENRY
(offended) (sighs)

4.

DAVID
I'm sorry. That was over the line.
CARAH
So, why are you having these people
film us?
DAVID
I'm not having them film us, they
asked me if they could film.
CARAH
Really? Are they doing something
about the death of the 'american
small business'?
DAVID
No. It's gonna be about the charms
and benifits of shopping local.
(pleased with his answer) What do
you think Henry?
HENRY
(surprised anyone is talking to
him) Um, I think it'll be (beat)
cool.
David and Carah both roll their eyes at Henry and his comment
separately and simultaneously.
CUT TO:
HENRY TALKING HEAD
Henry sitting in a chair similarly to Spencer was before.
HENRY
I started working here when I was
in college so that I could actually
have some money.
CUT TO:
HENRY STOCKING SHELVES
HENRY (V.O.)
But, then my grades started
slipping...
CUT TO:

5.

HENRY CARRYING A MILE HIGH STACK OF DVDS AND DROPPING THEM

AND FALLING DOWN
HENRY (V.O.)
And school just kinda became this
thing in the background, you know?
So, I took a couple more shifts
here and... uh... yeah.
INT. LAZY-TOWN COUNTER
Carah and Henry, pricing CDs.
CARAH
It's just like David to do
something like this.
HENRY
I know. CDs are stupid. We
shouldn't be selling them.
CARAH
No, idiot. The cameras. I hate 'em.
Someone watching you every second.
But, that's the culture we live in
now. We're just inviting big
brother into our lives.
HENRY
Just like Farenheit 9/11. (trying
to impress Carah)
CARAH
What?
HENRY
You know... Because of Big
Brother... (thinking really hard;
doesn't break eye contact wth
Carah)
Henry and Carah stare at each other for an extra moment.
Herny tries to think of something else to say. Carah waits.
HENRY (CONT'D)
I haven't read it.
CARAH
(sighs) I know.
CUT TO:

6.

CARAH TALKING HEAD

CARAH
Why don't I quit? I don't know.
CUT TO:
Henry and Carah sharing food. Henry drops some of it on his
shirt. They laugh together.
CUT TO:
Henry wearing a scary mask waiting behind a corner waiting
for Carah. Henry jumps out and playfully scares her. Carah
passes out. Henry runs away.
CARAH (V.O.)
I really like this store, even
though it's ran by an idiot. It's
kind of like having a puppy. It's
annoying and hard sometimes, but
other times it's cute and easy to
goof off with.
CUT TO:
CARAH TALKING HEAD
CARAH
I feel like I can just be myself,
(beat) when I'm here.
INT. DAVID'S OFFICE
David's office completes the metaphor that his store is an
extension of his personality. The store is all flash, a never
ending attempt to seem cool, while the back of the store,
David's office, a place where no one sees, is a wreck.
There's fast-food wrappers and half empty chinese food cups
everywhere. Half finished paper work and empty ball point
pens all over his desk.
David is sitting at his desk across from a young looking
twenty-year-old, he is BRAD. Brad has plugged ear lobes and
horrible tattoos. Brad looks he's high all of the time even
if he isn't. He's a modern, less-cool, Spicoli from FastTimes at Ridgemont High.
David, leaning back in his chair behind his desk, staring at
Brad. He's trying to do what he thinks is a power move.
Really he's just staring. Brad is oblivious and doesn't feel
any tension.

7.

DAVID
So, you want to work at Lazy-Town?
BRAD
Yeah.
A longer than normal silence.
DAVID
What makes you think you can?
CUT TO:
HENRY AT THE FRONT COUNTER ROOM WITH SPENCER
HENRY
Yes I could!
SPENCER
If you could beat an NBA player 1
on 1, you would be in the NBA.
HENRY
Not ANY NBA player, just the worst
one.
CUSTOMER
Um, can I buy this? (holds up DVD)
HENRY
Hm? No. That movie sucks.
Customer looks to Spencer for help.
SPENCER
It does suck.
CUT TO:
DAVID'S OFFICE
BRAD
Um, you had a sign out front. So, I
thought...
DAVID
You always do what's on signs?
BRAD
No. Sometimes a sign, will say
don't do something.

8.

DAVID
That's right. Like 'no smoking'.
BRAD
Yeah.
DAVID
Yeah.
They both contemplate other signs they've seen, in silence.
DAVID (CONT'D)
Well, alright! You seem like a
smart young kid.
David sticks his hand out to shake.
DAVID (CONT'D)
Welcome aboard.
BRAD
Alright!
INT. LAZY-TOWN FRONT COUNTER
Spencer, Carah, and Henry all standing around the cash
register staring at their phones or tablets. David walks into
frame followed by Brad.
DAVID
Hello, folks. We have a new member
in the Lazy-Town family.
CARAH
Do we now?
DAVID
Yes, Brad introduce yourself.
BRAD
Hello, I'm Brad.
HENRY
Hi, Brad. (happy to meet a
potential friend)
CARAH
Hello, Brad. (annoyed) David? Can
we talk in your office?
Carah and David walk out of frame.

9.

HENRY
So, what's your favorite movie?
BRAD
Um... Boondock Saints.
HENRY
Nice.
SPENCER
I also have to talk to David.
INT. DAVID'S OFFICE
David, leaning on his desk. Carah standing. David, defensive.
Carah, on the attack.
CARAH
When I asked why I couldn't have
overtime pay, even though I worked
overtime, what did you say?
DAVID
Carah...
CARAH
What did you say!?
DAVID
I said, we couldn't afford it!
CARAH
So, let me understand this. Stop me
when you hear an inconsistency...
The store, you, can't pay Carah
overtime, but the store, YOU, can
afford a new employee?
DAVID
We need the help, Carah! You and
Spencer are the only ones who
actually work here.
CARAH
Not anymore.
Carah starts to walk away.
DAVID
Carah, don't. C'mon.
Spencer walks into the office as Carah is leaving.

10.

SPENCER
Where is she going.
DAVID
I think she just quit.
David slumps into his chair.
SPENCER
What? Are you serious?
DAVID
Yes.
Spencer also walks out.
DAVID (CONT'D)
Spencer?
INT. LAZY-TOWN FRONT COUNTER
Carah hurriedly putting her things into her bag.
CARAH
Because, Henry. I've put up with
enough shit for too long and this
is the final straw. Look, I don't
know why I'm explaining this to
you, I'm leaving.
BRAD
I'm starting to get my feelings
hurt...
Carah picks up her bag and starts towards the door.
HENRY
Please, Carah, I...
Carah stops and turns around to face Henry.
HENRY (CONT'D)
...don't know how to run the cash
register.
Carah "UGH"s loudly and stomps out.
HENRY (CONT'D)
I really don't though. (under his
breath)
Spencers enters the frame and walks past Henry and Brad.

11.

HENRY (CONT'D)
And where are you going?
SPENCER
Home.
HENRY
But, you're shift isn't over.
SPENCER
I know.
HENRY
Are you quitting too?
Spencer stands up straight to look Henry in the eye.
SPENCER
Yes. I am quitting. Is that clear
enough for you?
HENRY
I guess.
Spencer walks out the front door. David walks into frame.
DAVID
Well, it's a good thing I hired a
new employee, right?
Henry slouches and looks sad.
End of Act One
ACT TWO
INT. SUB-SHOP
It's a hippie-themed sandwich shop. A sign on the wall reads,
"Peace, Love, Subs" unironically. This restaurant is stuck in
the early 70s and has no problems about it. Carah works here
now and is behind the counter on her phone yet again.
SUB-SHOP BOSS
Carah?
The Boss emerges from a kitchen window behind the counter.
CARAH
Yeah?

12.

SUB-SHOP BOSS
Did you tell this lady she could
have pickles on her sandwich?
CARAH
Yes.
SUB-SHOP BOSS
Well, we don't have pickles. Go
tell her she's not getting any.
CARAH
But, this is a sandwich shop. How
do we not have pickles?
SUB-SHOP BOSS
I don't like pickles.
Carah waits for her Boss to say something else because that
can't seriously be his reason to not have pickles in a
sandwich restaurant.
CARAH
OK...
Henry walks in the front door of the sub-shop. Carah's nose
is in her phone, knowing Henry is there, choosing to ignore
him. Henry walks up to the counter and waits to be greeted by
Carah, she doesn't look up.
HENRY
Hi, Carah.
CARAH
Hello, how can I help you sir?
HENRY
Do you? Do you not remember me?
It's only been like two weeks. We
worked together for awhilCARAH
Yes, Henry, I remember who you are.
Why are you here?
HENRY
Ok, good. Because I was like,
"What?".
Henry laughs quietly to himself. Carah waits silently for
Henry to get to the point.
HENRY (CONT'D)
So, what have you been up to?

13.

CARAH
Oh, you know... working here.
HENRY
I see that.
CARAH
Yep...
HENRY
Yeah...
CARAH
So, do you want a sandwich?
HENRY
No...
CARAH
Ok...
Henry and Carah stand silently in the visible metaphor of
their relationship. Each too scared too admit they want to be
together.
HENRY
Alright, well I'll get going then.
CARAH
Hey, wait.
HENRY
Hm?
CARAH
How's the store?
HENRY
Oh, it's alright.
CUT TO:
INT. LAZY-TOWN VINYL & GAMES
Brad behind the counter with a huge line. Everyone is visibly
angry. Brad pathetically and fruitlessly tries to run a dvd
case by the scanner.
BRAD
Why isn't this working?

14.

CUSTOMER #2
Do you seriously not know how to
work the scanner?
BRAD
I know how to work the scanner,
just let me try.
Each failed attempt by Brad features an annoying "BEEP" from
the machine further frustrating everyone involved and around
the counter.
A homeless man enter the store. Everyone looks scared of him.
He looks like smells like the floor public bathroom.
CUSTOMER #2
Do you want me to do it?
BRAD
No, it's fine. I got this. Just let
meBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
HOMELESS MAN
Y'all know this all bullshit,
right? This is all what they want
us to do! Buying useless shit to
keep us occupied while the lizard
people control our thoughts and
feelings!
Someone walks in with their dog.
CUSTOMER #3
Hey, is it cool if my dog is in
here?
BRAD
Um, I don't know. Maybe?
CUSTOMER #3
Ok, cool. Thanks man.
The homeless man starts looking at Brad as he knocks stuff
off the shelves.
HOMELESS MAN
Oh no, am I messing up your
precious materialistic monument? Is
this too real a pill to swallow?
Brad looks visibly overwhelmed and only has room for the
single emotion.

15.

Homeless man pulls out a liquor bottle wrapped in a brown

paper bag. He takes a swig.
HOMELESS MAN (CONT'D)
And another thing! (takes another
swig, continues to ramble in the
background)
BRAD
Ugh.
CUSTOMER #2
Sigh.
BRAD
David!?
CUSTOMER #3
Oops, do you guys have any paper
towels? My dog just pooped on the
floor. Or like a tiny shovel?
HOMELESS MAN
Nope. That was me.
Brad tries to scan the DVD again.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
BRAD
DAVID!?!?!?
CUT TO:
INT. DAVID'S OFFICE
David's seemingly empty office. The faint ruckus can be heard
in David's office. We pan over his desk. Underneath we see
David in the fetal position crying. He lets out a small
whimper that gets louder and louder and until it meets a
deafening crescendo.
CUT TO:
INT. SUB-SHOP
Carah and Henry staring at each other.
HENRY
I mean we still have the occasional
problem but, it's not so bad.

16.

CARAH
Hm, well sounds like you guys are
doing alright without me.
The Boss puts a sandwich in the server window.
SUB-SHOP BOSS
Order up!
Carah graps the wrapped sandwich, yells out the name,
"Terry!", and the "Terry" comes and gets it.
HENRY
Yeah...
CARAH
Well, see ya...
Henry starts to turn around and Carah goes back to looking at
her phone. Henry then turns around sharply to look at her.
HENRY
Wait. No. Carah, I want you to come
back...
Carah seems charmed and delighted to hear Henry wants her
back.
HENRY (CONT'D)
...to work at the store. It's a
mess. No one knows how to do
anything. No one is scared of me
and Brad enough to not shoplift
either. You could always stop
people, with just a look. The other
day, a guy looked at me in the eye
and said, to my face, "Hey, idiot.
I'm taking this.". It was VERY
emasculating.
CARAH
Wow. Really?
HENRY
Yes. And, David didn't pay us last
week.
CARAH
What!?
HENRY
We keep pestering him, but he keeps
blowing us off.

17.

CARAH
That's bullshit. Let's go.
HENRY
Where?
CARAH
Back to the store.
Carah takes off her apron and storms out. Henry is close
behind.
A woman in her 40s with "I need to speak with the manager
hair" (Nancy Grace), Terry, comes up to the now empty front
counter.
TERRY
Excuse me? Is there someone I could
talk to? Hello?
The Sub-Shop Boss appears in the server window.
SUB-SHOP BOSS
Yeah?
TERRY
I asked for pickles on my sandwich.
SUB-SHOP BOSS
Oh, I don't like pickles. I thought
the girl told you.
A long pause. Terry shakes her head in confusion.
TERRY
What?
CUT TO:
INT. TELEMARKETING OFFICE.
We see Spencer at his desk, talking into his headset, in his
semi-cubicle area in a row with several other cold-callers.
SPENCER (V.O.)
I got this job the day after I left
Lazy-Town. It's a very boring job.
Spencer in the breakroom silently sipping from a paper cup,
staring into the void in front of him next to other employees
doing the same thing.

18.

SPENCER (V.O.)
It's not very challenging work.
Lots of time to think.
Spencer sitting in a chair in a conference room with several
other dead-eyed employees kind-of listening to a
enthusiastic, overweight, greek, man drawing on the white
board.
SPENCER (V.O.)
Sometimes I wonder if this is where
I'm supposed to be, y'know?
We look at Spencer at his desk again, looking at his back and
panning over his shoulder to see he's saying all of his voice
over on the phone.
SPENCER
Like, is this really all I'm going
to be? A meaningless cog that
doesn't contribute anything to
society. I suppose the world is
literally filled with people no one
will remember, maybe I'm one of
those people.
PERSON ON THE PHONE
Yeah, I hear ya buddy. I know
exactly what you mean.
SPENCER
Yeah, so can I put you down for
$50?
PERSON ON THE PHONE
Um, I've got to go. I've gotta go
think about some stuff.
SPENCER
Ok. I understand. Is there a good
time to call ba-? (to the camera)
He hung up.
Spencer looks at his phone and starts dialing a new number.
He hears a "pst". Spencer looks around. "PSSST!" He looks to
his left. David is sitting in the chair next to him.
SPENCER (CONT'D)
What are you doing here?
DAVID
To talk.

19.

SPENCER
Didn't someone stop you? How did
you get in?
DAVID
Are you serious? There's such a
high turn around in here. Anybody
can just walk in.
SPENCER
Kind of like, Lazy-Town.
DAVID
See, that's why I'm here.
SPENCER
To talk about Lazy-town?
DAVID
I'm here to ask you to come back.
SPENCER
No.
Spencer turns away from David.
DAVID
Spencer, c'mon. Hear me out. I know
I shouldn't have hired Brad. We
don't have the money. I know. But,
listenSPENCER
I didn't leave because you hired
Brad, David.
DAVID
Hm?
SPENCER
I left because you didn't even
consult with me before you did it.
(beat) You've always said that I'm
the glue that keeps that place
together, that I'm your partner.
DAVID
Yes, you are! That's why I need you
back. I don't even know how to do
payroll.
SPENCER
I just thought I was an important
member of the team.

20.

DAVID
Well, look. I've got an idea. If
you come back, you will be my
partner.
SPENCER
I thought I was.
DAVID
No, I mean legally. (beat) You will
own exactly %50 of Lazy-Town.
SPENCER
You would do that? Just give me
half?
DAVID
Yes. I need you, man. You're like
my brother. Without you, I'm pretty
sure the IRS would shut us down in
a month.
SPENCER
Really?
DAVID
Yes, really. I haven't done taxes
there in years. It's always been
you. I don't know how to do that
stuff anymore. And since you've
dedicated so much of yourself to
the store, I think that hard work
should be rewarded. (beat) What do
you say? Come back?
SPENCER
(beat) Yeah, alright.
Spencer takes off his headset and gets up from his desk.
David sticks out his hand for Spencer to shake. They shake
hands.
SPENCER (CONT'D)
Let's get out of here.
DAVID
You can just leave? That's ok.
SPENCER
Yeah. I don't think anyone cares.
Hey, Bob.
We pan over to see the Greek man from before, Bob, at his
desk clipping his finger nails.

21.

BOB
What?
Bob doesn't even look up.
SPENCER
I'm quitting.
BOB
Ok.
SPENCER
See? (to david)
Spencer and David walk out together.
DAVID
Do you even need clock out? Or sign
out of something.
SPENCER
Nope.
DAVID
This place is weird.
END OF ACT TWO.
ACT THREE.
EXT. LAZY-TOWN VINYL & GAMES
Carah and Henry march up the sidewalk to Lazy-Town. Carah
tries to open the front door. It's locked.
CARAH
What? Why is this locked?
HENRY
It's 3:30 in the afternoon, we're
not closed.
Carah tries to jerk open the door. Spencer and David walk
into frame.
DAVID
Hello, Carah.
CARAH
David, you can't not pay Henry.
That's illegal.

22.

DAVID
Ok, now's the time for some
honesty. (beat) Spencer is the only
one that knows how to do payroll.
SPENCER
Is this why you want me back? Do
you know anything about running a
business?
DAVID
I mean, yeah, sort-of. Look, I need
you guys.
David steps away to look at all three of his trusted
employees.
DAVID (CONT'D)
Look, I know that I'm a screw-up.
That's what I do. It's what I've
done my whole life. I've never
really had any close friends
because of it. I opened this store
to finally find some people that
were like me.
CARAH
Are you calling us screw-ups?
SPENCER
I don't screw-up.
HENRY
I'm kind-of a screw-up.
DAVID
No, I'm just saying. I like you
guys. You're all weird and nerdy.
(beat) Like me. I need you guys,
not just for the store. You're my
only friends.
Carah, Henry, and Spencer, are all moved by David's words.
They all silently agree to give David another shot.
DAVID (CONT'D)
So, will you come back, Carah?
CARAH
Yeah... I guess. But, I want
overtime pay.
David unlocks the front door and Henry and Spencer walk in
first.

23.

DAVID
Well, let's cross that bridge when
we get to it.
David tries to lead Carah in the door.
CARAH
We're at the bridge now. I want all
the money you owe me.
DAVID
We'll talk about it later.
CARAH
You're damn right we're gonna talk
about it later.
INT. LAZY-TOWN VINYL & GAMES
Carah, Spencer, Henry, and David all stand at the front of
the store looking at the mess left by Brad.
CARAH
What the hell happened?
Brad emerges from underneath a pile of comics and vinyl
covers.
BRAD
Are they gone?
Brad looks like he just came out of a foxhole after an
intense battle. The store looks like its been through hell.
DAVID
Brad, what did you do?
BRAD
There were so many of them. They
were yelling and, I didn't know
what to do. They just kept wanting
to buy things...
SPENCER
You're bad at this.
DAVID
Well, Brad. I don't know how you're
going to fix this.
BRAD
What? No. I need this job.

24.

DAVID
Well, I need a store that doesn't
look like a crazy person's house.
BRAD
I'll clean it up. I promise. I'll
start right now!
Brad gets up and starts stacking junk on top of other junk.
DAVID
Brad. I think, I'm going to have to
demote you.
BRAD
Demote me!?
HENRY
We have ranks? What rank am I?
DAVID
Deputy. Brad, you're being demoted
to intern.
BRAD
Intern? Oh my god, thank you so
much.
Brad salutes David.
BRAD (CONT'D)
I'll make this right, Colonel
David.
David kind of loves that Brad just saluted him.
DAVID
Oh, Brad. That's enough.
Brad gets back to cleaning. Spencer leans into David to
whisper to him.
SPENCER
Does this mean you're not going to
pay him?
DAVID
That's exactly what it means.
Everyone that isn't an intern gets
a bonus!
Henry and Carah clap and cheer with David.

25.

SPENCER
No. No, we don't. I'm running the
books now.
David, Carah, and Henry look sad.
DAVID
Well, let's get to work shall we?
END.