Running Head: COLLEGE ACCESS AUTOETHNOGRAPHY

Autoethnography
American Community Colleges
Tess Matsukawa
April 5, 2016

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Timeline of Key College Activities

I was told from a very young age that I was going to go to college, despite my lack of
academic success for most of my childhood it had been drilled into my mind that college was the
only option for me. This was largely due to my privilege; both socioeconomic and educational.
Community college was something that I grew up having respect for, but when I started
performing better academically, in high school I became aware of the stigma associated with
community colleges and I didnt want to be connected to it.
Coming out of junior high I started preparing myself for college by getting extremely
involved in community service, student government, and other extracurricular activities on
campus. I took AP classes and was enrolled in short-term SAT prep courses. In my AP classes
we were taught how to write college admissions essays. In this academic setting community
colleges were not talked about, and it was expected that you were applying for UC schools.
My parents were proponents of community colleges. Both of them had attended them as
means to transfer to CSULB. My parents were both very aware of the negative connotations that
I picked up about community college in my high school classes and wanted to respect my desire
to not attend a two-year institution. And, if I commuted from home, attending a Cal State could
be extremely affordable option. I applied to both CSULB and CSUF, but I also took a tour of
Colorado Mesa University while visiting my grandmother in Colorado. I found out on the tour
that I could get my full tuition and student fees paid for through a leadership scholarship. I
applied, got in, and convinced my parents that I would get the most out of this experience and
covering my housing was close to the same price as it would be to go to a Cal State. At the time
I remember thinking that attending community college would have meant that all that I worked

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for in high school would have been a waste. Anytime my mother mentioned me attending
community college and transferring to a four year I would get upset.
Pivotal Moments in College Pathway
Family
My parents always held the expectation that I was going to go to college. They
themselves had both went and paid their own way through junior college and CSULB. Even
when I struggled growing up my parents put in extra time enrolling me in after school study
programs, they got me a math tutor, and went out of their way to get me involved. After I had
gotten mostly Cs in elementary school, my parents enrolled me in a private junior high, so I
could get more of a personalized education. It was it these years that I had caught up to my
peers. I was put into school a year younger than the rest of my grade, but with the support of my
parents and teachers I started excelling academically. Letting me attend a private junior high was
a pivotal moment for me, as it was the time that I began gaining confidence in my academic
ability.
In my early high school years, I watched my brother (Jesse) apply to colleges, and make
the decision of where he was going to attend school. Jesse had done very well academically and
had been accepted to many UC schools. My parents had a serious talk to him about the debt that
he would be in if he decided to attend a UC school, and convinced to him to commute from
home to CSULB. My parents saw living on campus as non-essential to the college experience,
and was an experience for spoiled, affluent, children. From watching my brothers decisionmaking process I had felt very certain that I would be attending a CAL state, which I had
minimal excitement for.

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K-12 Education
I received a lot of messaging as a child, that if you did poorly in academics then it meant
that you were not smart. There was little conversation about what else could contribute to poor
academic performance. Throughout elementary school and into junior high I firmly believed that
I was born less intelligent than my peers, and this did make me wonder what I would do in
college. For me, this messaging came from teachers who would place me in comparison to my
brother, who was quite academically successful.
When I got to high school I was much more supported, mostly because I was given space
for my skills to shine. I was always very social, and in high school I was able to get involved.
This involvement in student government, cheer (as mascot), and other clubs, built my confidence
and also pushed me academically. My student government supervisor, Ms. McNeil was the first
person to tell me that I could handle AP and honors classes. She believed in my abilities and was
a huge supporter of me when I was looking into colleges and scholarship.
Community College
Community colleges were the means of access to higher education for both of my
parents, and they were always talked about in my household as great means of opportunity. My
parents spoke of paying their own way through college while working fulltime, and how
community college was an important step in being able to pay for their schooling. At a young
age I saw community college as a place for people who were hardworking, that wanted to go to
school, but also wanted to make a more practical financial choice.
High school gave me a mixed idea about the type students who attended community
college. I watched those that I considered motivated go through community college and transfer,
and I also saw students who I considered as students who didnt apply themselves enter the

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system. I gave little thinking about the privileges that I had that lead me to my path of attending
a four-year university, but applied a logic that not everyone has what it takes to be academically
successful. The same messaging that had been presented to me at a young age.
Community
The summer entering high school I got involved volunteering as a summer day camp
counselor. In this volunteer role, the city provided the volunteers with career and college
preparedness seminars. In these sessions, the staff would talk about college applications, letters
of recommendations, what to expect at a four-year institution, and how to apply our volunteer
experience in our college applications. These sessions were lead with the expectation that we
would all go to a four-year university, and they were also the starting place where I began
dreaming about going to school out of state.
Policies and Programs
As a middle class family I did not qualify for need based financial aid, but my family was
not in a place to be able to pay for my tuition at any cost level that was higher than in state Cal
State tuition. My search for schools was very limited, despite my desire to go out of state for
school, because of finances. In state tuition was also a large contributing factor that played into
the decision to only apply for the Cal State system.
Privilege and Opportunity Reflection
The privilege that has brought me down my educational path is clear from a very early
age. I was born into a family where both my parents attended college in the U.S., and both set a
clear expectation as that being the life path that I was going to go down. They had been saving
money for me to go to school since the time that I was born. Financial privilege has played a
huge role in my academic success and my ability to attend a four-year university right out of high

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school. Despite my academic struggles as a child, my mother who was able to stay at home to
take care of me and my brother, was able to take me to tutoring and get me involved in
extracurricular activities. My parents were able to pay for me to attend private school for two
years, so I could get a more hands on education, and my mother volunteered with me so I could
build experience that would help me qualify for scholarships.
As a U.S. citizen I never had to deal with worrying about qualifying for student loans, or
being granted in-state tuition. I lived in a middle class community where there were free
opportunities about applying for college, getting scholarships, and the college experience. I went
to a high school that had the resources to have AP classes, where I could spend time in the school
day talking about the college admissions process, and I was surrounded my teachers who were
supportive to my academic pursuits. In my academic environment I was surrounded by peers
and teachers that represented my racial background. I watched as people who were similar to me
attended college and successfully made their ways to higher education As a person without
physical, learning, and cognitive disabilities, I was never given messaging that I didnt belong in
the four year environment. I easily navigated high school socially and academically. I was also
financially privileged enough to be involved in high school and focus on my academics, I didnt
have to worry about taking care of siblings or making money to support my family.
Very few barriers were placed in my college entrance pathway. I was moving forward
into a system that was made for many of identities. The analysis of this privilege wasnt
something that I deeply thought about until I came to grad school. My academic success has
much less to do with my personal aptitude, as it has to do with the privileges that I have had my
entire life.

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Reflection on Role and Potential of Student Affairs Professionals

As student affairs professionals this is something that needs to be challenged and
analyzed throughout our own practice and within the discussions that we have with our students.
At the most basic level, SA professionals need to gain a critical understanding of their own
privileges, and be thoughtful in thinking about how they can work to dismantle a system that has
generated such academic and social inequity in our country.
Specific targeting of low income and communities of color, along with other historically
marginalized populations through recruitment practices needs to be implemented. In order to
create a systemic change, long term programming needs to be implemented specifically targeting
these communities that walks students through the college application process, financial aid, and
college preparedness. There also needs to be an increase of the representation of professionals of
color, and those who are first generation, and low income, who can speak the experiences of the
students that they are serving. Once these students get to campus they need to be met with
programs that are based around identity and need, that provide these students with community
and navigational capital. This can be through learning communities, peer mentorship, and
identity based organization, but they need to be specifically targeted to join such opportunities.
These programs happen through a concerted effort, made by the higher education institution, to
support students from marginalized backgrounds, not just through the application process, but
continuously though their college career. Training of staff and faculty on multicultural
competency needs to be at the forefront of the work at hand, to make all environments safe and
welcoming for these students as they move through the higher education system.