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Student Development Theory Autobiography

There are many things I think about when I look back at my journey and all the things

that impacted me along the way. At the time, I was not aware that every decision I made could

possibly make a difference in what path I walked in. I am a very firm believer in “everything

happens for a reason”. Up until this point, both good and bad things that have happened to me

have ultimately shaped me. Without all of my fortunes and misfortunes, I would not have had the

same outcome as today, even though I often begged for things to be different. I now find myself

satisfied with how things turned out for me, but I wouldn't be here if I hadn't made significant

small changes in my past.

Major Events and Moments

The most memorable event that I will never forget is the 2008 recession. I was 10 at the

time, and like any other day, I was coming home from school. My mom sat my siblings and I

down and told us that we were moving to a different house. I didn’t understand, especially

because I knew how much my mom loved that house, we all did. It was my childhood home, and

for my parents, it was the first thing they owned as immigrants coming from Mexico. It was a

hard goodbye and to make matters worse, the “new” house we moved to was much smaller. It

took me a while to understand, and all I knew was it was a money issue.

Fast forward to 2014, things were a bit more stable, but we were living paycheck to

paycheck. My oldest brother worked 2 part-time jobs and was going to college, so any money he

made went toward school or our bills. Same with our father; at this point, even our mom started

making tamales weekly to get some extra cash. This time was a wake-up call for me because I

became so aware of our financial situation, more specifically, money. I had just turned sixteen
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and I was excited because I was finally able to get a job permit from school. I wanted to get a job

so I could help with bills as fast as I could. I managed to get a weekend job at a party rental

company. I made pennies compared to everyone else, but I was happy to make a contribution. I

remember when I gave my first check to my mom, she didn’t understand why I was giving it to

her. When I explained why I had gotten a job in the first place, she was in disbelief, she was sad

that it had come to that. It’s like she wasn't expecting me to catch on to our financial troubles

when it was so obvious. Ever since that first job, I never stopped working, and sadly neither have

my parents.

Challenges and Decisions

One of the first challenges I had to face in terms of my education was realizing I had to

change my school and career choice. In high school, I was enrolled in a college readiness

program, AVID. During my senior year, we had help from some AVID staff to fill out our

FAFSA and college applications. Before filling out the college applications, we had to do some

research on the colleges we were thinking of attending. I always had high hopes of getting into a

good school like Berkeley or UCLA in order to graduate and make good money to support my

family. As I was doing my research, I quickly realized that I simply could not afford to even

dream of going to these schools. On top of feeling discouraged, I felt frustrated because this

whole time we were told anyone could get into those schools. The faculty kept pushing to apply

to these expensive and competitive schools knowing that in reality only a handful could get in,

and none of us could afford it.

Some students brought up that point, and the AVID faculty would preach about how only

students who “work really hard” will make it to these schools. As if we all didn't work hard

enough as it is, one of the teachers shared a story about how she was able to afford her room and
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board at UCLA with a part-time job and money from financial aid and her family. She was

completely ignorant about how prices have changed since then, and how most of us were low

class and did not have the guarantee of any additional financial assistance. She attended UCLA

in the ’80s, and according to Collegecalc.org, tuition in 1987 (the oldest I could find on UCLA)

was $1,295 for in-state tuition. In 2015, which was when I was applying for college admissions,

UCLA’s tuition was $15,182 for new California resident students, and $39,890 for non-resident

students (UCLA tuition archive, 2015). It made sense she was able to afford it then on a part-

time job because it was not nearly as expensive.

Numbers aside, she did not see the bigger picture of why what she was preaching was

actually damaging her students. This whole time we were made to believe that we would all be

able to get into any school we wanted. She failed to inform us about the costs and

competitiveness of these schools, not to mention most of them were PWIs while all the schools

in our area were filled with students of color. She came from a privileged background and failed

to see that we did not have the same opportunities as she did. In our current textbook about

student development there was a list of myths regarding social class and one of them stated,

“The third myth is that everyone has the same opportunities or starting point” (Patton et

al.,2016). I felt like she didn’t understand her students and their needs at all, so I decided to get

help elsewhere.

The college application process was exhausting and overwhelming, I would be the first in

my family to go to college so I had no one I trusted to guide me. Luckily, my high school

counselor was really supportive and he showed me many options and alternatives. It was decided

I would go to my local community college and transfer to an affordable state university. As for

my career choice, I was always interested in the Arts, I planned to be a game designer, but I was
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quickly discouraged after doing research on it. Unfortunately, game designers were on the rise,

and to make any big money out of it, you either had to know someone to move up or be

extremely talented. I was already discouraged about not being able to go to the schools I wanted,

so I decided to change my career choice as well. Once I was in college I began to figure things

out little by little, and I eventually changed my major to Psychology thus began my interest in

education.

The Community College Years

Going to college was always the plan for me. Since I was young my parents were very

adamant about me going to college and being successful so that they could retire. Their main

point for assigning me this role was I am the only sibling of 5 to be born on American soil. To

them that meant me having opportunities that my other siblings did not have. That is how it was

decided I would be the one to take care of them after I made it through college and got a good

job. They were always really supportive of any career direction I wanted to go in as long as I

finished. The only thing is I would be completely on my own during my college journey which

was a lot more difficult than I could have ever imagined.

I had my start at my local community college and it was there that I found myself

struggling with what I should be doing. It was nothing like high school where everything was

planned out for you. I had no idea what my plan was or what my major was for that matter. I

remember the first day I emailed my high school counselor (who helped me choose my courses

for my first semester) to ask him where I should go for guidance regarding my major. I knew I

couldn’t rely on him for all the answers, so after he helped me make an appointment with an

academic advisor, I was on my own again.

I was pleasantly surprised at how helpful my advisor was. He took his time explaining

my academic plan to me and made sure to see me every semester to make sure I was on track. He

even introduced me to the EOPS (extended opportunity programs and services), which helped

me with a book stipend and parking pass each semester, along with monthly gas passes for

driving my car. Without his help and additional guidance, I don't think I would have gotten half

of the aid that I received during my years there. It was with him that I made my change of major

declaration to Psychology, and he also guided me through taking transferable courses since he

knew I planned to transfer.

Besides figuring out what I had to do, I also had a huge identity crisis. I felt so alone and

out of place in class, and it was the first time I felt so isolated. One of the first lasting memories I

have from there was during my first semester when I was put in a group with other students. It

was the first time I had been put in a group since high school. I usually had good experiences in

groups as I was usually with friends. These were complete strangers, and I felt especially out of

place because I was the only student of color in the group. After we greeted each other, they

went on to discuss the plan of the assignment, only they left me out of any input. Even when I

would try to talk it was like I was invisible to them. I was so uncomfortable, and I had never

experienced anything like that before. I felt so self-conscious and it made me question my

academic ability since I was disregarded so easily I never forgot that feeling.

I read an article by Laura Rendon about her personal experience with going through

college and how she struggles with leaving her identity behind to go to college. She writes about

having to change parts of herself to fit in and feel successful. Something she wrote that reminded

me of myself during my early college years was, “I came to face with being a minority.

Academic shock was compounded by ethnic and racial shock” (Rendon 1992). When I was
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further along in my education is when I started to understand things like intersectionality and

how certain parts of your identity can be challenged.

Undergrad Years

By the time I transferred to my first CSU, I had gotten the basic ups and downs of how to

navigate myself through school. By now I was more confident in my skills as a student and I

knew what direction I wanted to go in with my degree. It was during this time that I started to

learn more about diversity and inclusion, and the importance of belonging on campus. It was

during my time here that I started working on campus and becoming more familiar with student

affairs and being a part of campus life.

My first job on campus was as a new student orientation leader. My job consisted of

helping new student transition to our campus while making them feel welcome. This job made

me solidify my decision to stay in education. I found that most if not all of the new students

struggled with the same issues I did when I first started. My interest was especially peaked when

I found how easy it was to help connect these students to the right resources. Part of my position

was to talk to Spanish-speaking parents of first-year students. It made me feel special to be able

to have a conversation with the parents of the students who were once in my shoes. It felt great

being able to answer their questions and ease their concerns about their child entering a world

they didn’t understand. It reminded me of my parents and myself, and how hard it was for them

to understand what I was going through. This position brought me great satisfaction and joy, and

I decided I wanted to work in student affairs in order to guide students.

Originally, I planned to do counseling, but I enjoyed the hands-on experience I got

collaborating with both students and staff on campus. As I continued to get jobs on campus, I

knew I wanted to stay in higher education. I seemed to thrive in that environment and I made
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great connections on campus with other staff and faculty. I was able to get some mentors along

the way, one of which helped me get a better job and apply to the HEAL program at Fresno

State. If there was one thing I took away from my experience during my undergrad was how

important representation is in higher education.

Grad School to Present

During My first semester in grad school I learned a lot more than I had during my

undergrad about theories in education. I was introduced to critical race theory (CRT) and its

many different iterations of it like LatinCrit and NativeCrit. I also learned about how different

identities impact your student life or life in general. While I could go on about the many things I

learned, there is one theory that has been present in every class and has been a highlight in my

studies. As I mentioned before CRT has been an academic staple in learning about student

affairs. More specifically, what stood out to me was LatinCrit, which specializes in Latina/

Latino experiences. LatCrit theorize issues such as language, immigration, ethnicity, culture,

identity, phenotype, and sexuality (Hernandez-Truyol,1997). The whole point of LatinCrit is to

address the multidimensional identities and how racism, classism, sexism, and other forms of

oppression intersect.

The beauty of LatinCrit is it helped me understand why certain behaviors happen. It

made me feel validated although it is unfortunate that many racist and classist acts are considered

a norm in Eurocentric education standards. Reading about LatinCrit made me think about how

different things could have been for me if I had proper representation and resources from the

beginning. I think a lot about how the education systems that we have in place were never a “one

size fits all” and how that could never be an actual thing. I think about how hard I was on myself
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for not being able to understand many things at the start of my college journey when it was never

made for people like me to understand in the first place.

Many of the things I read on LatinCrit had similar themes about epistemologies and how

different people learn or take in information. I found this really interesting because it was never

something that had been discussed before. All I knew before was one way of doing things, and it

didn't matter if it made sense to me or not because that is what was in front of me. LatinCrit

contradicts that notion and emphasizes that epistemology is more than just a “way of knowing”

and can be more accurately defined as a “system of knowing” that is linked to worldviews based

on the conditions under which people live and learn (Ladson-Billings, 2000). The more I read the

more I felt understood, but what bothers me now is how this is not common knowledge and it

took me being in grad school to read and learn about it.

As I continue to go through grad school I think about what it took for me to get here and

the silent struggles I faced. I remember how hard it was for me to get adjusted and figure out

what I had to do. I am grateful for all the things I have learned and all the people who supported

and helped me. It would be impossible to not acknowledge how much their support means to me

and what I was able to accomplish because of them. Now that I am nearing the end of my college

years, I especially think about how I felt, and what I can do for future students that may be

struggling too. I want to be a representation of diversity and inclusion, and hopefully, students

will find comfort in knowing their struggles are not for granted.
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References

CollegeSimply. (2023, February). Tuition, net price and cost to attend University of California

Los Angeles. CollegeCalc. Retrieved March 23, 2023, from

https://www.collegecalc.org/colleges/california/university-of-california-los-angeles/

Hernandez-Truyol, B. E. (1997). Borders (en)gendered: Normativities, Latinas and a LatCrit

paradigm. New Journal, 9, 69-79.

Ladson-Billings, G. (2000). Racialized discourses and ethnic epistemologies. In N. K.

Denzin & Y. S. Lincoln (Eds.), Handbook of qualitative research (2nd ed., pp. 257-277).

Thousands Oaks, CA: Sage.

Patton, L. D., Renn, K. A., Guido-DiBrito, F., & Quaye, S. J. (2016). Student development

in college: Theory, research, and Practice. Jossey-Bass & Pfeiffer.

Rendón, L. I. (1992). From the barrio to the academy: Revelations of a Mexican American

“scholarship girl.” New Directions for Community Colleges, 1992(80), 55–64.

https://doi.org/10.1002/cc.36819928007

UCLA. (2023, March 18). Tuition and fees. Undergraduate Admission. Retrieved March 27,

2023, from https://admission.ucla.edu/tuition-aid/tuition-fees