Nicholas Perez's Reviews > Don't Cry for Me

Jacob Swinton is dying. So, he's writing a letter to his gay son Isaac, revealing all of his thoughts, troubles, past, and heartache. Isaac hasn't seen Jacob in awhile because his "traditional" beliefs and how cruel he was to him growing up. Jacob knows this, but he wants Isaac to know everything before he dies, even if it ends with his son not forgiving him. Jacob's life from childhood in rural Arkansas to the early 2000s is revealed to us. A life of a man who could never be truly loved by the other men in his life; a man whose definition of love merely meant making sure his son survived so that he wouldn't make him feel ashamed.

Don't Cry for Me is a quick read, but it is also a lot. The book primarily deals with father and son relationships and toxic masculinity among Black men, especially during and after the Civil Rights era. At the beginning of the book, Jacob tells Isaac that it will be his own decision whether to forgive him or not, and I think that is Daniel Black telling us the readers as well that it's our own decision. Jacob does some cruel things to Isaac, despite claiming that it's all done in the name of his love for him as a father or that he's trying to make a him a proper man, and it often tear-jerking. As a child too, Jacob is not given a lot of love by his grandfather and the other men around him and that shapes him too into the man he is. There are some softer, kinder moments too; Jacob is not a total walking stereotype. But at the end of it all, it is ultimately each, individual reader's decision of what they think of Jacob.

Jacob's life in rural Arkansas, though rough and meager, was not without happiness. He did look up to his grandfather Abraham despite his emotional closed off-ness and his older brother Esau was the light of his life. Esau was the kindest male figure in Jacob's life, and after his absence, that's when his life begins to crumble. He grows up into the rituals of early manhood: being told not to cry, becoming physically stronger, isolating and punishing any boy who's too sensitive (there's one particularly disturbing moment where this happens and I won't repeat it here), and messing around with girls. Jacob's home in Arkansas is a very religious one, there are constant reminders on what God wants and how the Church is central to life there. The Bible pretty much dictates how everyone should act, hence why Jacob says why it wasn't okay for girls to fool around like boys. One thing that I will applaud here is that Black doesn't ignore how toxic masculinity and men's control affects and hurts women. The central drama and narrative is about fathers and sons, but women are frequently maligned or mistreated throughout the book. Jacob starts off saying that that was simply the way back then, but he realizes how horrific it actually is. Jacob comes to learn this through his wife, and Isaac's mother, Rachel. After he and Rachel marry, they move to the city where the Civil Rights and second-wave feminist movements are heating up. The division between Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr. is discussed as is Rachel's feminist awakening after reading The Feminine Mystique.

It is this change in society and Isaac's eventual childhood that is ultimately the catalyst for the events of Jacob and Isaac's rift. Although Jacob sees now more than ever the struggle of Black people, especially Black men, in America, he still clings to the old ways. He is trying to have himself and his family survive, just as his grandfather did for him and his brother and grandmother. However, Isaac becomes less and less interested in traditional masculine pastimes and Rachel becomes less and less submissive. In fact, Rachel even reveals her personal feelings about Jacob along with things she kept secret from him. Jacob tries to keep Isaac on the path to manhood, even after divorcing Rachel, but both he, and us the readers, soon realize that he is not emotionally attached him.

However, in a very sweet moment of the book, Jacob takes Isaac to his family's land in Arkansas, telling him it'll all be his someday. It's actually a very tender and sincere moment amidst all the angst and hate in the book, even though Jacob and Isaac are still wary around each other. But something strange happens. In a somewhat Beloved-esque twist, it appears that Isaac speaks to or becomes possessed by the souls of his dead relatives. So much so that he knows where they're buried and that they tell him what Jacob is hiding, more on this later. We're never sure if this spirit possession is actually happening or if it's Isaac messing with Jacob, but I wouldn't deny it. After this, Isaac paints the family's land as it was before time and decay took it. So, who knows?

Jacob and Isaac's rift widens even more after this to the point where they barely talk to each other. Jacob comes to realize just how cruel the old ways were and what he's done, but he still wrestles with how different Isaac is--even as he's writing these letters. But still, he recognizes what he's done wrong. He doesn't make anymore personal attempts to apologize to Isaac because he believes he hates him. His letters are essentially his apology.

I do not know if I could forgive Jacob. I do not have the experiences of a Black gay man growing up in the 70s and 80s like Isaac, but I do have a strict, conservative Cuban father and being his son can be exhausting, though he wasn't as strict as Jacob. Don't Cry for Me definitely struck a cord with me, Black knows how to get into your emotions. His characters are alive and their actions and thoughts leave us questioning, shaking our heads, cheering a few times, but mostly begging and praying for something better for them. The entirety of the book is Jacob's perspective, so we don't get enough of the other characters, but I still had a full understanding of who they all were by the end. Black's prose is very readable, but personable and emotional. It hooks itself into you and takes you along for the journey.

So...about what Jacob is hiding. Perhaps it is something horrible he witnessed and did not intervene in as a child, Jacob he a number of things in his childhood that are questionable. Or perhaps it's something else. One thing he reveals towards the end to Isaac is that as a child he witnessed his brother Esau bathing and becoming infatuated with his beauty. He wonders if his desire for his brother then is akin to Isaac's attraction to men, or something similar but different. Jacob doesn't touch upon this anymore. A part of me wanted it explored more, but the question that remains with me is this: "Is there something else within Jacob that's repressed?" I don't know what Black wants us to do with this reveal, but it is a damn eyebrow raiser. When I first started reading this book, I didn't think queerness would be central. It really isn't, but it makes me wonder. I don't know if with this revelation that Jacob is actually queer and repressed--he was definitely attracted to women, so he might be bisexual if anything--or if it was merely misunderstood childhood wonder. I don't know. But this repressed memory may be the root of Jacob's behavior and ideals, even with his grandfather's influence. I cannot say.

If I have any criticisms of this book is that Jacob and Isaac's situations got formulaic. Isaac did something unmasculine, Jacob freaked out, Rachel defends Isaac, and then everyone is sullen. Additionally, whenever Isaac did something unmasculine, Jacob would say "Boys/men didn't do that!" I don't think it needed to be said every, single time. Other than that, I have no other criticisms.

I am in agreement with other reviews that we need Isaac's perspective. Thankfully, there will be a sequel from Isaac's perspective next year. I look forward to Isaac's Song: A Novel.