Tatiana's Reviews > Before I Die

This book about broke my heart. It's not as if I didn't know how it would end - the title says it all, but I didn't expect to be touched by the story to such a degree.

The premise of Before I Die is quite simple - Tessa is 16 and dying of leukemia. She knows that she has only a few months to live and struggles to come to terms with her fate. Trying to make the best of the time she has left, Tessa comes up with a list of things she would like to experience before she dies. Some items on the list are silly - to try drugs, to commit a crime, to become famous - but one desire overwhelmes Tessa. She wants to experience love, but knowing that there is no way it is possible in her circumstances, she settles for having sex. This is how the story starts. The first sexual experience doesn't make Tessa feel any better, in fact, she is crushed more than ever. But things change when she gets to know her new neighbor - an 18-year old boy Adam, who has a heartbreaking story of his own...

Just like another similarly themed favorite book of mine If I Stay, Before I Die never crosses over into the area of melodrama, and this is very important to me, because I despise being emotionally manipulated by books. The characters are real, their pain is real, Tessa's journey from depression to anger to resignation to temporary happiness is poignant and her everyday desire to live and not let go of her waning life is heartbreaking.

I loved many things about this book - the narration, tragic but with a touch of humor; the love story, which is definitely one of the best I've ever read. But mostly I loved that this book reminded me of importance of the most mundane things in my life - the ability to spend time with my family, to enjoy a simple walk, and to plan for future.

A beautiful debut by Jenny Downham.