Drawn

DRAWN

Lucus Anthony Ren

Copyright © 2018, Lucus Anthony Ren

Self-publishing

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Preface

Is life something else than ideas, and when does thought come into it? When Drawn which simply started as nothing more than one character looking out into her world not very different from many of us what we perhaps a thousand times daily practice, there always appears, or seems, one dominating element; time.

So, taking thoughts and ideas along with time all of which for me at least are three basic essentials in my life being I ‘had’ a thought, which lead to an idea, then time is applied. And in viewing this equation became surprised seeing how quickly time reacted according to both thought and idea, not either slowing or speeding as I’m accustomed with, rather the value of its application.

It is after all controlling me and I can’t change it. Birth. Time moves. Death. Sunrise and set. Seasons. The Big Bang. But what if you take several characters in a story with their difference and similarities, put them in room and change that a little. Then open the door and let them out.

I’d walk the other way quickly, and think happy thoughts because just maybe they were listening.

PROLOGUE

Rehearsing in his mind the immediate thought which sprang there in making such a trip some months ago from exasperation his presence in playwriting utterly useless without a doubt seeing very little interest from producers in his works, forced himself on this adventure purchasing a ticket to a place of little known except for the trip itself lasting two weeks with several stops would somehow propel his inspiration.

James viewed all this nearing the top of the gangway. He'd wondered for years never known a time without that sensation present. Demanding. Hungry. Beast like in nature, nothing more than controlled illusion he thought. It's what lead him here. To this very spot all the while allowing him to believe he managed the affairs. The turns. The times to wake or sleep. What to eat and purchase. Whether a film was better than book tonight. All just played lulling him to one specific place and the time in which it all would happen. Since birth. Had others experienced the same he wondered many preoccupied talking with one another, those alone resided simply blank-faced, yet felt something missing and then it appeared before him; there were no children. Teenagers yes, but anything under perhaps that age he could not see.

Realizing this he looked more closely below studying the great sea of passengers as he moved further upward, but in searching, he could not distinguish one single child. Had they all been left at home he wondered? Perhaps they had already boarded allowing mother and child first.

‘I don’t know and none of it makes sense anyway so what’s it to me,’ James whispered softly to himself remembering none of it started well for any of them back then, all quickly twisted ruminants of some tattered sheet hung far too long on a line to dry, faded, an only companion for it’s growing tears ripping gently all those seemingly connected yet far away from that sense of reason held so reverent, illuminating truth with falsehood, an archaic mantle laid gracefully over the entire story where again, only lies gave perception.

Recognition was a powerful thing James knew, probably the most if what it carries changes something so great, so vast as your own soul. ‘There are moments words have no right to play with,’ the voice echoed not just in his mind but somewhere deep. Someplace yet tapped, unknown maybe, or misused which led to its abandonment, as once things of this nature are in such a demise, what remains only in ruins, when suddenly the scream comes from that depth reserved where only the greatest of all darkness resides, ‘HELP THEM!!’ crashing into him, pulling his attention to where others gasping with shock pointed below at what took shape with those still waiting to board the ship.

For Angela

Always loved

Chapter 1: Most of the Letters

Sarah leaned holding the railing wanting anywhere but here. Anywhere without the screaming, without that stench etching deeper into her mind. Anywhere she could be with him, desperately hoping he too wouldn't have to leave along with the other men her world pitched, shuttered under relentless exhausting pressure sending her off into corners she'd never escape from. She was tired of that world. But he arrived.

Sharp, directly from the other world the one she'd left behind a thousand months ago now almost forgot insofar she'd wonder if it ever happened at all or always a wish went astray, having its revenge for something? Something she herself wasn't aware ever taking place, but in his arrival, it all changed; becoming real.

What life before being only some distant ghost till he introduced, or rather was introduced as David Ward a thin man slightly hunched with sharp features around the dark brown eyes by her senior, smiled briefly holding out his hand wanting the customary cordials to seem natural. But they were very far from that Sarah told herself while touching his warm soft yet scared hand. She saw in his eyes there was something much more. His face changed the slightest giving way to a rather deep, though she often carefully questioned while laying adrift toward that lovely reprieve from life through broken whips of sleep, those tattered fortunes of sorts not many witnessed by the looks of it, would have others simply telling her to grasp upon never letting go for this man was very careful in words and stature always aware of his surroundings, secretly buried treasure somewhere far within.

'Those were qualities you can admire,' she told Barbara her closest friend later meeting her after completing the last check they always did together before retiring.

'Sounds like something's gotten into you hasn't it,' Barbara said slyly with her bright smile while raising one eyebrow which Sarah thought always having just a little too much hair and often told Barbara they should be trimmed better, but those of her qualities they brought both together in a natural honest friendship of admiration and understanding.

'Being aware. Awake. I saw it in his eyes and face,' Sarah replied reviewing the checklist in front of her. 'He's also shy, very rare today,' she added.

'Don't lose sleep over this one deary. They're heading in tomorrow. He'll probably be going too. The new ones often do.' She paused a moment bending over taking a closure look at her own work from this morning then continued. 'Besides if it doesn't happen this time, there's always a chance of the next.' And her bright smile fell away in a matter-of-fact way leaving them cold in an ever increasing humid environment both knew they couldn't stand much more of.

Sarah knew Barbara was right. She often was. She was also very reliable and could keep secrets well enough out of the reach of others wanting in. She supposed it's another quality she liked about her and felt the sudden pull of lust toward a woman she roomed with - saw one another unclothed while changing - had nothing to hide from. Felt completely at ease with. Yet because of the men, or at least most in the condition they were, women in such a state they were, naturally found themselves drawn to one another. And it did happen, but not between Sarah and Barbara, though both having full well-shaped figures, neither were interested in such a manner for the other. Or so it was a lie they both suckled, as they both wanted the other, growing with profound intensity blinding them where only the carnage they saw each moment of what war is brought about some barren coherence that too was crushing them all.

But here Sarah stood just inches from Barbara, could smell her perspiration, her hair and all she wanted at the moment was to kiss her soft and tender because tomorrow the boys were heading out and it just wasn't fair she cried in her thoughts staring across eyes tracing along Barbara's beautiful natural curves, it wasn't FAIR with all the stench and horrors of not knowing when and why, or how many, or what conditions all those simplest things just a short time ago, so different when they happened last, all 'so simple', are now gone. Forever.

Knowingly Barbara felt those eyes of Sarah. Knew they watched her. Followed her along corridors, downstairs. And up. When she slept. It was strange at first Barbara thought, but after a while, it soothed. What could you do knowing exactly in the middle of all this why should it matter if a woman looked at another especially with feelings such as these? In this place?

Barbara stood up slowly finished examining, paused then turned to Sarah knowing as not to embarrass both, it would allow time for Sarah to look at something else, but she hadn't. Sarah's eyes fixed directly at Barbara's hips, obviously watching her backside while she bent over attending to her work.

A heat came upon Barbara's face. She felt it start first in the cheeks then move forward wrapping around her, a warmth she knew was held for someone you cared deeply for and they for you, so much so, you'd do anything for them if they asked.

Barbara reached out with her hand touching Sarah on the wrist so slight she thought Sarah might not notice. But Sarah's eyes closed the moment of contact allowing a long-held breath to escape she'd kept the entire examination Barbara conducted as if breath alone would spoil contemplating the softness next to her both unheralded by anyone or thing.

'Sarah,' Barbara whispered questionably. There was a slight twitch in Sarah's wrist, her eyes meeting Barbara's who in their half-lighted area they stood, in the lateness their eyes searched, one allowing, the other questioning, broke what lure held stating, 'It will be a very long day tomorrow. The boys are going.'

The boys. That's all they were actually most not having reached manhood. It was sad the first time Sarah and Barbara saw the boys off. 'It get's easier each time you'll feel less', so they were told, but that was a lie. And tomorrow they go. 'You're our boys,' they'd both say always bringing smiles on such young faces. But they had the quality as David, the very same, a vibrancy for life that would be ripped from them and never returned.

At exactly five-thirty that morning the lights came on, the boys stood and prepared. Various announcements and declarations of courage and God's speed were made for at six-thirty still in darkness the boys boarded their assigned landing craft and headed for the distant shore none had ever see before, and a great many would never step foot on.

By eight the first was returned to Grace, one of four casualty evacuation transport ship able to get closest to the beachhead allowing troops off, ambulancing the sick and wounded off, many reaching the ships five operating theaters, two of which were set-up on the forward deck for immediate treatments in time those suffering the worst surviving due to Grace's well organized and talented staff.

Sarah and Barbara along with other nurses were there meeting their return making sure they were taken according to severity to the appropriate doctor available. On deck watching the return of transports themselves often severely suffering damage from enemy fire nurses lined the ships railing their nervous fear and anguish hidden behind trained compassionate expressions seemed to turn together all at once when hearing the high throttling up of an approaching aircraft they'd learned was on an attack approach when an instant later the loud clapping from its guns striking first the water then traveling quickly alone the ships starboard side rising over the deck in a long trail. Barbara grabbed Sarah's hand as the two watch white puffs turning suddenly red from the rounds striking several nurses almost designating their white uniforms. With the carnage swiftly approaching them, Sarah reached toward…

'Jenny, did you see the blue case for my computer, I'm late for the meeting and the drivers waiting?' The voice tore Jennifer thoughts causing her to jump, startled as she'd forgotten Adam was there. Forgotten everything. For Jennifer reading was one of the few ways she relaxed, enjoying the time to herself. Her close friend Mary told her about this book she herself found very interesting. 'Very difficult to put down' were her exact words Jennifer remembered hearing Mary yell into her phone while driving that vintage convertible Volkswagen Beatle she loved so off to some event Jennifer envied as she wanted to travel along those roads sitting next to Mary without a care listening only to the engine and the wind, taking in the smell of the old car mixed with pine from the wild forest engulfing their lives, so what could she do but order a copy arriving two days later, yet because of her schedule hadn't the chance to start, only able to glance the box it arrived in, still unopened passing it several times on the kitchen table without much thought seeing she wasn't a reader only placing the order thinking it would damage their newly established friendship if she hadn't.

What she wanted was some peace which her husband had now taken from her, she closed the book, turned her head stating clearly for Adam wasn't hard of hearing but hard on the mind of others around him, which was very common among professionals of his nature, 'Try the office dear. Perhaps you left it on your desk,' she concluded sighing wondering upon the chances the case was in fact there, wondering where her life was heading, wondering when the last time the two had sex? With multiple orgasms as in those early years and couldn't remember.

She thought to herself and talked at times with Mary, 'I'm thirty-eight, and always horny.' A slight pause, then added, 'Like an itch.'

'Honey, everything is. And you can scratch it with whomever. And no one will care,' Mary quipped.

'No one' Jennifer thought sitting on the sofa remembering Mary's words unravel something which now slowly crept along the sides of her thighs its prickle increasing, warmth crossing over moving along the inside of her legs that she felt were too large and needed attention in the gym and sauna, were in fact normal for her height and bone structure, enough so as to have their friends and colleagues during summer and winter parties she and Adam often held, comment on her attractive shape.

But they lied only to gain points which she hated seeing most of them were Adams friends and colleagues, a far cry from what Jennifer deem as trusted confidants, yet thinking of this the warmth intensified lived it seemed upon her secret lust for something else than her husband, moving around her buttock climbing up her back when the second call she'd hoped never arrive did with Adam stomping down from upstairs, 'The office? No, no, 'NO'. Won't be there. Christ, I'm late as it IS!' Maybe he was aware, certain if he had there would be no defense, as always with Adam his voice quivered as panic starts the run on him. Controlling his mood. His entire life.

With a flash as it had come, the warming thrill left her retreating somewhere she'd love to know. Wanting to visit it in times such as these she thought as Adam stepped from the stairs panting looking around their large spacious living room trying to place his thoughts that had left him the moment he realized his computer was needed. But since he never put anything away, literally dropping things where he stood leaving Jennifer the task of managing his constant untidy nature, which for the most part she was accustomed, together with futility telling him to put things away, so much so she'd give-up probably meant little if anything to Adam as he saw no fault in his actions.

'The office,' Adam cried, 'why there?' throwing his arms up his way of surrendering, pleading for help.

'That's where I put it,' Jennifer stated calmly as she watched the trembling under his right eye begin. A slight twitch whenever things inside Adam's head grounded. The twitch began its own grotesque twitching. In becoming aware of this Adam immediately blinked the eye rapidly trying to ward off the spasm. In a moment Jennifer knew what followed, if it hadn't been for his phone ringing distracting him entirely reaching into the pocket of his suit jacket answering without checking the caller, a common habit of his, the same spun on his heals marching off in the direction of the office disappearing around the corner moving along the hallway talking loudly with his quick temper that 'he'd no idea whether he was free to play on the thirteenth as this was all managed through his agent', followed by a fucking moron Jennifer heard after the disconnection she presumed but not entirely sure for nothing ever was with this man. Before reaching the office another call this time his voice was calmer saying he was ready in a moment, and that he hadn't lost track of the time. This, of course, was his agent, Maria of Guatemala decent, once prominent concertmaster herself, principal violinist of the Russian National Symphony now agent to several premier musician including Adam for the past seven years as she retired from the circuit, but not the glamour waited for him outside in the limo probably playing with the chauffeur as herself Jennifer deceitfully imagined, screwed anything walking. Including her husband.

Jennifer didn't want to know how 'much' of an agent Maria was realizing it was more than just bookings she made for him. And had been for several years when at dinner she first noticed the sexual tension between them. Afterward, she wondered the length of the affair as she'd noticed it only then. 'And if there's Maria there are others,' Mary spoke plainly when hearing Jennifer's confession a rainy afternoon gazing out the large bay windows of their living room a low drone in her voice sounding almost not her own, 'I'll be free of him. Past. Present. To come.'

Jennifer sat on the sofa staring out those same windows her finger still held in the place where the book stopped as it seemed that while reading, the novel itself, not simply that; something more. Of something gone. Not lost since that you'd feel first in order to miss. The feeling left when Adam entered. Entered not just the room lumbering down the stairs no better than a drunken cow for God's sakes Jennifer thought to herself watching him, 'How is it possible he plays so incredibly well yet act in such a state,' but entered and passed through her life, as it 'was' her life, as Adam wandered into and out of her days.

Having to stop for Adam was the trade she made when they married. The start of her career ended before it even had a chance Jennifer always reminisced, but the wealth Adam provided was ample in exchange allowing her to buy indeed anything she desired. Within reason. And over the years that grew becoming all, there was. Till one afternoon Mary came by on her way to gym dropping off some old newspapers telling Jennifer about a book she'd been reading. A book she thought Jennifer might like that might do her some good because it had 'some slow spark whatever that meant as half the time Jennifer could hardly understand anything Mary spoke with her peculiar riddles and speech patterns she once clearly defined in their first meeting as being a mixture of 'both continents' significant with what Jennifer had no idea and was too timid asking about for here was a person a rarity even Jennifer herself could see something very different indeed and this person no matter their comings or goings wanting friendship with a simple person such as herself Jennifer thought all the while how lucky and thankful she felt having met Mary, but wouldn't say exactly seeing she was late for her workout and would pass by later.

Jennifer researched the book reading the preview thought it a rather simple romance set in a rather vague war and time yet as she read through the first twenty pages not understanding what the war was about, why there even was one, she questioned why a person as Mary would be interested in such writing so plain and quite frankly, boring. The characters weren't defined well, in fact, most of the preview was about a ship. A sort of ambulance ship transferring to larger hospital ships sick and wounded soldiers temporarily cared for.

When texting Mary was it worth the time spent reading the novel before ordering it; 'yes' was the simple one-word reply.

The book arrived but Jennifer too busy couldn't open the package for several days. In reading the preview she really wasn't in any hurry, after all, she felt more obliged to Mary as she'd recommended the story. Seeing the package still unopened didn't bother her in the least as she passed it several times a day laying on the seldom-used kitchen table. It might have been there a week when finally she opened the package taking out the book with Adam just having left for rehearsal startled by its condition though knowingly bought as second hand, possessed a severely worn smudged once light-brown leather cover now darkened with several dog-eared pages, causing an unconscious drift toward the cozy sofa corner her favorite place where the large bay windows opened on the new spring afternoon, eventually seated while this rag on her lap pulled her mind wondering whether she'd placed the wrong order when had she noticed just on the border of their large property of cleared land adjacent the thick forest there came a slight movement within those first trees lining the garden sentinels as it might have been which Jennifer would swear, when the problems began those large trees guarded not something coming out from the forest rather from going into only alerted by Rex their eight year old male German Shepard movements his keen hearing alerting him immediately stared towards the black thickness which if Jennifer and Adam were interested in knowing was an old growth forest many years of age easy to lose the way impassable in some areas unchecked for over sixty miles till the next township, she would have screamed from fear. Not the normal scream a person has when suddenly frightened, but a scream knowing something never seen before would chase you till caught dragging you back into the depths of those woods wherein youth dark clouds formed a moment before trouble arrived.

But Jennifer didn't notice the dogs uneasiness; her only interest being the book nevertheless noted the time about one-thirty when she began reading after checking the novel's mail order on her phone. Moving quickly skimming more than reading at the start simply wanting to get through it as soon as possible so as to discus later with Mary some of the points, her mind drifted from the words written into a sort of day dream of herself in her youth back at college when she was too shy to speak out on a double date with her friend Tracy and two boys all from the same class while discussing their ideas about good sex and whether it was important in relationships when she heard upstairs a loud thud coming from what sounded like the room directly above where she sat; her study.

Startled being removed from both the dream and the sound as Jennifer was alone in the house casing her to jump slightly but quickly bringing her attention to the fact why gnawing his favorite red ball calmly at her feet hadn't Rex heard it? Then her mind become confused recalling the dog just a moment before was not at her feet more over looking out the window toward the forest, and had been as soon as she sat down, which was how long ago Jennifer thought as she reached for her phone to check the time when suddenly another thud sounded this time at the top of the stairs. From where she sat she could easily see the stairs turning quickly hoping to find no one. Jennifer indeed saw only the stairs then looked at Rex who hadn't moved except his rhythmic chewing pacified after the morning walk down the graveled road three miles to where it connected with the larger network eventually sending you into the city and back up the sprawling property but not in the forest behind the house they both not ventured constantly watching the other seeing who would pass through that first line of defense. For Jennifer at first it was almost a game coxing Rex to go into the forest if just a few yards, but the large dog became pensive nearing its border alarming her, since those early times she gives the area a wide berth not nearing the trees, while Rex follows just behind and always between her and the trees as if to protect Jennifer thought later watching how when she changed direction Rex immediately altered his position. Always. She wondered if throwing his red ball into the forest would cause him to follow chasing after as he did everywhere in fact with such force it was frightening seeing his explosive power charging after the bouncing red object Jennifer easily saw if the animal wanted, it could easily tear off a persons arm seeing documentary about