Welcome, come closer and relax… Thank you for clicking. Today on Musing Interruptus, Lorena visits her grandmother again. There is talk of elements, foundational elements, it’s storytime.
A sonic boom ripped across the galaxy when the star formed, other stars exploded, others are born.. Infant stars. They are made of the stuff of the stars before them. We share that matter.
Trust the elements Lorena, trust what you are made of. In that sense, the most basic things in life can be trusted, for better or worse. When you are in doubt, search for these elements and construct reality as best you can.
Lorena looked up at her grandmother, wishing she could learn from her heart and her experience. As if there were a way to avoid the learning curve… her expectations were always ahead of the learning curve.
The  wide-eyed girl tried to soak up everything going on around her. She wanted to understand it all, she especially wanted to remember everything. She hoped to remember enough to be able to recreate the events with brush strokes and words. She was so present, she felt her molecules expand and dissipate until she became as light as the air, certain that her presence was no longer felt. She felt this was something she was good at. However it was not something she could control. As a child, she often felt that way. It was as if she had the ability to be unseen. Not invisible, she wasn’t an idiot. It was more about the illusion of stealth. As she grew older, it was as if she could become absent from herself. Not exactly daydreaming. Was it the mark of a romantic soul? An old soul, perhaps. A new soul, in awe of life. She had what she felt was the unique ability to find beauty everywhere. Lorena sometimes worried she would space out during an important event or worse, a life and awareness altering conversation. Lorena knew she needed to listen for the teachings. She knew that greater truths were between the lines of what was said. It was a struggle. She would lose track of conversations and time. She considered the prospect of losing herself to that place all together if she didn’t react in time. ¨Pull herself back to where things actually happened. That place of solitude where nothing is happening, and nothing matters, the inside place of comfort, on the wrong side of presence. That might as well be death. She teetered between these two spaces. A pas balancé, to a rhythm she had no control over.
Lorena’s grandmother’s name was Leonor. A woman who lived in her own right. She seemed immune to everyday problems. Life was old hat. Her certainty was founded on experience, not just a set of beliefs. An avid participant of life. Although it was unclear if she navigated life or simply knew how to survive tidal waves. In anycase, life didn’t present a challenge anymore. It was death she was preparing for. Leonor was determined to enjoy her granddaughter. This was part of the sweetness life had offered her. The eldest daughter of her eldest son. She was easily enchanted by her children’s babies. Her heart had enough love to go round. She had her favorites. Lorena was one of them. Since she had Lorena’s ear, she quickly capitalized on the opportunity to impart her wisdom, many times skirting just how she had come to know the things she knew. Today, her mind was set on teaching her granddaughter how to keep a grasp on reality.
Leonor could see Lorena coming a mile away, she also knew what life would have in store for her. [...]

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