Compulsion

Compulsion

A Moon Coven Series Novel

K.B. Miller

Copyright © 2012 K. B. Miller

All rights reserved.

Smashwords Edition, Licensing Statement

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase another copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return this to smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form is forbidden without expressed written permission from the author.

This book is a fictional work by K. B .Miller. All names, characters, places, and events either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

Dedication

To the love of my life, Bryce -

Thank you for being my personal Mason.

The song Fearless, says it all. I love you...

To our miracle, Connor-Bryce -

You will always be Mommy’s little monkey.

You are both, my entire moon~

To Char Semones -

You are the best bff ever!

Love you, xoxo

To Sabrina Ford -

You have become one of my sisters.

Love you, xoxo

To Willow, Jeff, and Jenn -

We are the true 4 Musketeers.

To the Burks’ and the Millers’ -

Thank you for loving me unconditionally.

To my Angel in Heaven, Maryann Burks -

Mommy, I hope that I’m making you proud.

I love and miss you everyday.

Acknowledgments

Cover by:

Covers by Magical Design

Edited by: Melissa Ringsted

Edited by: Scottish Gold Editing

I want to acknowledge a few more people:

Candis Honey, Paranormal Reads, Paranormal Addicts, Paraholics Preview,

I Love Books, YA Book Lover, Jenny Needham, Wanda Hart,

Wendy Lovetiggi Gonzalez, 98 Rock, and the UTZ Patriots Football Family -

Thank you so much for all of your support,

In addition, continued efforts to spread the Compulsion word.

Dan Amos -

Thank you for the beautiful music.

It absolutely made the book trailer for Compulsion come to life.

Quote

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

~Edgar Allen Poe

Chapter One

I was nothing spectacular. Not the girl everyone turns, and ogles as she passes. Certainly not the girl who is overly sexy, or sporty. For that matter, not even a total brainiac. Other than being abnormally tall, and having eyes the weirdest possible shade of blue, there was nothing extraordinary about me. So, why was he staring at me with those piercing green eyes?

I turned away allowing my curly brown hair to fan out around me, and pretended to be interested in the Fall line of Patent Leather purses. For anyone that knew me, that wasn’t a stretch of the imagination.

Unless I’d completely lost my mind, and that was always a possibility, he’d been following me through the mall for over an hour in that designer suit. My guess … Armani. I should have totally freaked, but I could count the number of times that a sexy man had stalked me on absolutely no hands. So, I wasn’t going to gripe.

I was so preoccupied trying to look preoccupied, the newspaper I’d grabbed while ordering my coffee began to slip from under my arm. The golden bracelets on my wrist clinked as my hand jerked automatically catching my paper, and saving the dregs of my coffee from a disastrous end.

From as far back as I could remember, three things had been constant in my life; my total obsession for all things caffeinated, my absolute passion for fashion, and reading my horoscope. Yes, the last one was probably lame, but it made me feel better to believe that life had some sort of rhyme, or reason.

The fine hairs covering my arms stood on end as my entire body shivered. I had that weird feeling that I was being watched again. My eyes peeked up through my lashes, and found the handsome stranger even closer then before and still watching me. Quickly reshuffling the contents in my hands, I tipped the remnants of coffee into my mouth, and tossed the container in the trashcan just outside of the store. Once again, I attempted to appear aloof. To distract myself, I began reading my horoscope.

Aries

Plan today--preparation will be the key for the coming journey. The career path you are on has left you feeling unfulfilled. Cleaning up messes, and handling the small stuff is not your cup of tea, but that’s what will be in your future, if you don’t make the necessary change in employment soon. Your thoughts are unhampered. However, your mind is going in a million different directions. Focus. You’ll need to pay close attention to the coming signs. Your love life is in a precarious state. That’s going to change soon. Be cautious though; look for ‘Mr. Right’ not ‘Mr. Right Now’. Today would be the perfect time to get started on that new project you keep putting to the side. Communication with your family will be tested this week. You will need to strengthen the ties that bind.

Huh. I guess having absolutely no love life would be considered a ‘precarious state’. I giggled half-heartedly to myself as I glanced up from the paper. Those emerald eyes caught mine immediately, but at that exact moment my phone vibrated playing Galway Girl loudly. What can I say? I’m Irish!

Hel-lo, I answered. Fueling my addiction for purses, and clothes always put me in a chipper mood.

Lily?

I recognized the hysteria in the familiar voice on the other end, Dad, what’s wrong? I asked.

A sob caught in his throat. Sweetie..., can you come home?

You’re scaring me, Dad. What’s wrong? I pushed again.

It’s... your grandmother. Granny passed away this morning.

The phone fell from my shaking hand as I clutched my chest unable to catch my breath. People meandered by avoiding my tear streaked face. I scrambled for my phone. My father’s voice called for me.

Lilyann? Managing to bring the phone back to my numb face, I answered, I’m on my way.

Without another thought of the gorgeous stalker I lengthened my stride, and left the Town Center with my poker face firmly in place.

Granny had died. Wait. Was this one of the ‘coming signs’?

For the second time in twenty-one years, my world had shattered with three simple little words. I’d become especially good at hiding my emotions in public. When your mom dies of breast cancer in your early teens, the most primal, raw emotions try to burst free, and you feel like scratching someone’s eyeballs out. That’s really not a socially acceptable public display of emotion, right?

My mind began racing, horrible memories of just after my moms’ death replayed in my head. Random people from the town felt the need to offer their sad smiles, and condolences. Then, after a while, they continued to spare a kind word or stray smile to my face, but behind my back they clucked like hens. That’s Hampstead, Maryland for you, the gossip capital of the northeast.

Small town life just wasn’t for me, so I applied to every college on the east coast, and a bunch out west. The first to send an acceptance letter was the State University in Towson. Okay, so it’s not hours away, heavy emphasis on the plural, but it was one hour from home. I eagerly started my new life as a single city woman, who just happened to be a Pre-Law major. I wanted to right the injustices of the world. However, that particular academic path turned out to be short lived. Swaying someone else’s point of view is a difficult task at the best of times, but when you have the attention span of a gnat, it’s impossible. When I was a kid, I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. I would start off going down one path, and bam I see a butterfly, and would be on to something new. With age, it had only gotten worse. Therefore, at the moment, my major was undecided.

One thought pulled me back to the present, Granny was gone.

I headed to the garage to allow myself a much needed breakdown, and phone call to Camden, my best friend. I found my electric blue Jeep. It was hard to miss. I unlocked the door, and slid in as the tears began spilling onto my cheeks. I tried to clear my eyes to dial, but it was no use. My eyes were stinging, my heart was broken, and I was alone.

After starting my engine, the radio almost caused me to go deaf. I blindly punched the buttons until I finally hit the right one. Silence. Ironically, the song that belted through the speakers was something about living like your dying. That’s exactly how I felt. Like I was dying inside, but my body just wouldn’t finish the process. I rubbed at my eyes with the sleeves of my shirt. My previously pristine white blouse now resembled a zebra print of sorts. I could only imagine what animal print my face would match when this day finally ended.

The tears were still falling, but I’d finally managed to brush enough of them away to dial. Two rings and Cam answered.

Lily, are you okay? Your Dad just called, I’m so sorry...,

How is this possible? I cut her off with a choked sob.

I just spent last weekend with her. She was walking in the garden picking herbs. We had an amazing heart-to-heart about my life. Then she and I baked a million cookies, and pies. This makes no sense. I proclaimed, attaching my cell to the visor.

I pulled out of my space erratically, hearing the contents on the front seat spill onto the floor. The only consolation was that at least everything was swaying back and forth on the passenger side. After almost hitting the candy apple red compact car on my right, I deliberately inhaled slowly in an attempt to calm my frazzled nerves. I gently tapped the brake pedal to slow down a little as I came around the turn that led to the lower level of the garage.

Cam’s soft voice carried through the speaker, I know its hard Lily. She’s been like a mom to you. The words ‘shut the hell up’ were already on my tongue and ready to roll off, but out of nowhere the stalker person from the mall was standing in the middle of the driving lane... directly in front of my Jeep.

For shits sake! I screamed.

I slammed both of my feet on the brake pedal, and heard the God-awful screeching as my tires slid on the concrete. My chest slammed into the seatbelt, and back against the seat causing my head to bounce off the attached headrest.

"Ow! Ouch!" I cried.

I gingerly tested all of my parts. When I was satisfied that a trip to the hospital was not necessary, I began to reach for the phone. Suddenly, my foggy head cleared, and realization hit me. My eyes flew up to find the familiar stranger glaring at me. With my heart beating out of my chest, and all of the air sucked from my lungs I did the only thing that I was physically capable of, I stared back. I wanted to say something, apologize. But, I couldn’t move. His beautiful, yet terrifying green eyes wouldn’t let mine go, they ensnared me. The thoughts that began flitting through my mind were all wrong. I should have been thinking about what could have just happened, instead I thought about how I wanted him, wanted to please him.

Wait. What? I didn’t know this man. What was wrong with me?

Perhaps a trip to the emergency room was in my future. Cam’s complaining snapped me out of the silent introspection of just how yummy that man was, and slammed me right back into reality. My eyes broke free of what held them and I awkwardly glanced up at the phone.

Lily what’s wrong? Did you hit something? Are you ok? Lily, answer me! My furtive eyes chanced a peek, but he was gone. But..., where?

The parts of my body that were sure to bruise tomorrow, screamed in protest as I turned this way, and that scanning the garage. There was positively no sign of him. It was as if he’d just vanished into thin air. I reluctantly and a little painfully gathered the items strewn all over the floor and answered my best friend. Yes, I’m fine. I almost killed a hot guy, no biggie.

The drive back to Hampstead just added new torment to a day that I prayed would end soon. I had made this trip so many times over the past couple of years that my body went into autopilot, and I allowed it. I was still shaken up over the incident in the parking garage, so Cam stayed on the phone with me.

I know that mentioning his name is strictly forbidden, but I’m going to ask anyway. How’s Mark? she stammered.

I knew that she was trying to direct my attention to any mundane topic in order to put off what I was inevitably going to have to deal with, the reality that my Granny was gone. So, let the mind numbing psychobabble begin.

Nothing has changed. He’s still an idiot and I’m still over it, I answered automatically.

Mark Campbell, was the only guy that I had ever dated, and it was the worst experience of my life. I never understood how someone could be completely in love with themselves, the way he had been.

Okay, okay. she placated. I’m in your email, I’m going to send a message to your professors letting them know what’s happened, and that you won’t be there for a few days. Oh, and that girl that you told me about in your class, the one that talks too much, what’s her name again? she rattled on.

Ash? Good idea. I’m going to need her notes. Her email address is in my contacts folder, I informed her. She really was the best friend ever.

My head began seriously throbbing. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the ‘almost’ accident, my obvious caffeine deficiency, or the fact that I kept attempting to burn my grandmother’s image into my mind. Not long after my mom died, I began having panic attacks, because I had trouble recalling every detail of her beautiful face.

I tried to focus on what Cam was saying as the glorious red, gold, and amber colored autumn leaves raced by my window. But, that only made the pounding in my head worse. My hand flew to my bag, and I began rummaging around in there for the little bottle of pills that helped with migraines. I managed to hear the end of what she said as I one handedly popped the lid to the bottle off, and swallowed one without water. Gross.

I’ll call your boss. Make sure that they schedule you off. Okay?

I was a vet tech at Hope Springs Emergency Veterinary Hospital. Animals had always touched a soft spot in my heart - I practically grew up in the barn. Animals just loved, they never judged.

Thank you, Cam. I said.

For what? she asked.

By the time Cam was done, she had emailed my professors, and Ash, called my work, and talked me straight into town.

I choked on another sob as I pulled up on the front lawn of Granny’s farm.

For everything,

I’ll be there in just a few minutes. I have to call Luke, and tell him what’s happened, she promised. Cam married Luke Myers, an incredibly handsome and sweet sailor in the U.S. Navy right after high school. He, and I’d hit it off from the start. We had the same weird sense of humor. Cam used to joke with us that we were like two peas in a pod, whereas Cam and Luke were completely opposite. All humor aside, they were like two puzzle pieces made exactly right for only each other. They had the kind of relationship that I wanted desperately.

Okay. I hung up the phone.

I sat there unable to move just yet. I knew that I would never feel my grandmother’s arms around me as I walked through that door, again. That thought brought on a physical pain in my stomach. I leaned forward trying to squelch the dry heaves that threatened. My head leaned against the cooler steering wheel. I turned just slightly, watching as the old wooden sign my grandmother had made swung back and forth from the eaves,

‘Do not enter this house with anything, but perfect love, and trust in your heart’

The silent ache in my chest finally burst free, and the tears began to fall fast and furiously down my warm cheeks again.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but I eventually pulled myself together. It was going to be torture facing my family. I snatched my purse as I got out of my Jeep.

Meow.

My eyes, now mere slits searched for her. Izzy, my grandmother’s gray tabby cat, purred as she wound herself between my legs. I bent down, and picked her up. Nuzzling my face into her soft fur I whispered, Is it true? The howl of pain that escaped her was my confirmation.

Her little body shivered. Izzy had always been my grandmothers’ shadow. She had to be as old as me because, I can’t remember a time without her. I kissed her sweet nose, and set her back down. She stared at me. I swear, sometimes it felt like that cat understood what was going on.

Glancing up at the house tears continued to spill down my cheeks. I sucked in all the air my lungs could handle, and began walking toward my own personal hell on earth.

I reached the porch, and pulled the old screen door open.

There you are pumpkin. I was getting worried, said my Dad.

He rushed over, and pulled me into a tight hug. When I looked up into his face, the pain was evident. Red rimmed and puffy eyes stared back at me from underneath of his glasses. Fresh tears slid down his cheeks, and fell from his chin, which he quickly wiped away with a handkerchief.

My dad was a tall man like most of the men in our family. He ran his hand through his graying hair as he stepped off to my side. I heard him exhale loudly just as she came into my view.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

My heart was pumping so hard, I could feel the accelerated rhythm in my ear.

It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real.

Granny, on a stretcher with a white sheet pulled up to her neck. Like you see in the movies. A shiver that had nothing to do with the crisp September weather ran up and down my spine raising goose bumps over the entire length of my body.

I hesitantly walked over to my grandmother. Each step brought with it a new thought, she wouldn’t see me graduate from college, get married, or have a baby. My mother and grandmother would miss all of those important moments in my life. A fresh wave of tears leaked from my eyes.

Her stilled body was within reach. She looked different. I mean, I knew that it was her with those black curls, and button nose, but as a last ditch hope that I hadn’t really lost her I checked her hands. My grandmother, and I, had the same flawed fingernails. Instead of the normal concave curve, ours turned up at the ends. It drove the women at the salon insane.

Her hand was so cold under my fingers. I felt wobbly, like the entire room was spinning. I bent down to kiss her cheek and the tears revved up into high gear again spilling into her hair.

I love you Granny. I whispered.

I raised my head just slightly, and kissed her cheek with the knowledge that it was the last time. As I stood back up, what looked like mosquito bites on her neck caught my eye.

Here, my uncle said as he handed me a wad of tissues.

Thank you. I mumbled. Taking the delicate paper, I began rubbing at the wet tracks the tears had left on my face, and then my eyes. I wanted to make sure that my vision wasn’t playing tricks on me. There was definitely something there. Odd.

Granny never got bitten. She always grew lemon balm. Every morning from the beginning of April until the end of October, she would rub herself down with the leaves. She used to make me do it also. The leaves actually smelled like freshly cut lemons, so I never really minded. It was another one of her old remedies. I can’t complain. We were rarely ever sick growing up.

We really need to be going now. I’m so sorry for your loss.

How many times were those words going to be spoken over the next few weeks?

I hadn’t noticed the pair of strange men before. The one that had spoken was standing at my grandmother’s feet with his hand on the shiny metal rail of the gurney. He turned, and the stark white letters against his black jacket slapped me in the face, Medical Examiner.

My breath caught. I felt the fog in my head threaten to gobble me up.

My family began gathering around me. Cassie, the older of my younger sisters, grabbed me around the waist, Lily, the Sheriff said she fell out by the mailbox. Doctor Gambrill told Dad, that he thought it was a heart attack, she said in one long breath. I bent to hug my sister’s much shorter form.

We’ll know more after the autopsy, Cass. I said. The time I’d spent in the medical field, albeit my experience was with animals, and not people, had prepared me for what would happen next. My heart sank at the thought of someone cutting my grandmother open. Uncle Donal was standing closest to us. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

Sweetie, there’s not going to be an autopsy. he blew his running nose into a tissue. That’s how your grandmother wanted It. he finished.

My jaw dropped, I was speechless. How in the hell was I supposed to make any sense of this with absolutely no answers? Just as that thought crossed my still throbbing head, I heard the squeaky wheels of the stretcher scratch against the antique wooden floor. The men were removing her from the house. I followed right behind them just as Cam pulled up. My lifesaver.

Her sandy blonde hair blew backward as she left her car, running dutifully to my side. She grabbed my hand, and gave it a reassuring squeeze as the men lifted granny’s lifeless body into the van. They slammed the door closed. That sound would resonate inside of my head as long as I lived. Suddenly, the world began swaying in front of me as the vehicle transporting my grandmother’s body drove away from the farm. My body couldn’t handle anymore, so I just let go.

I’ve got you, my brother said, hugging my waist to keep me upright. His voice sounded like it was far away, even though I could feel his arm around me. He led me over to the picnic table a few yards away from the house. Cam jostled to keep up with his longer strides.

As we walked the gentle breeze caressed my hair, and carried the aroma of the old pine trees to me. A zillion things began racing around in my already clouded head. The problem was that I couldn’t pick just one, and focus on it.

Thanks, Dekko." I said, appreciatively squeezing his hand as I sat down. He returned the gesture without meeting my gaze, swiftly retreating back to the gathering crowd. Cam gracefully ensconced herself right beside me smoothly crossing her tiny legging covered legs. She rested her arm around my hunched shoulders. Neighbors, friends, and family began arriving. About an hour had passed and I remained quiet. I was numb, physically, and mentally devoid.

What’s the tan girl’s name again? Cam broke the silence.

My head jerked up at the sound of her voice Huh? My confused eyes met hers. The corners of her thin lips pulled down a little. She rolled her hazel eyes, and repeated the question casually leaning her head in the direction of an approaching figure.

I glanced up.

Oh. My cousin, Riona, I returned. Don’t you remember our sweet sixteen party? She’s the one that Granny caught kissing one of Ciaran’s friends in the corner. I sighed at the memory.

My grandmother.

Oh..., that’s right. Ri. Cam’s voice trailed.

What can I say, she loves the sun, and it obviously loves her back. Plus, I think she got an extra dose of our grandfather’s genes. I whispered back before my cousin reached us.

My grandmother’s family was from Galway, Ireland. A fact, that she was very proud of, and so were we. My grandfather’s family, who I never knew, was from the same small village in Ireland. However, after coming to the states his mother fell in love with, and married a Cherokee Indian.

Riona’s dark brown curls ruffled out in waves behind her. It was obvious by her attire that she had hastily left a gathering with friends. Her low cut V-neck blouse, and tight plaid skirt left little to the imagination. She was the kind of girl the guys definitely stopped, and stared at.

Hey Lil, she sniffled, placing an overflowing plastic plate on my lap. The smell of sauerkraut wafted up, obscuring the clean aroma of nature, threatening to make me sick. Not long after the van carrying my grandmother departed, friends, and neighbors began arriving with large trays of food. I’ve never understood that whole concept. When someone dies, bring their family food, stuffing them like a Thanksgiving turkey will totally take away the pain. ‘I’m so sorry your grandmother’s dead. Here, have a biscuit?’

My cousin’s electric blue eyes studied my face.

Please eat something. It’ll make you feel better. At least, that’s what the old bitties keep telling me, she softly asserted, her eyes swollen, and red like the rest of my family.

Thanks sweetie. Err...I’ll try, I mumbled.

Suddenly, her shoulders hunched forward as she broke down, sobbing as she practically fell into my chest. Cam grabbed the plate as it slid from my lap. I wrapped my arms around Riona. Instantly, there was a flurry of movement. The rest of our family; all eight of my cousins, both of my sisters, and my brother, Declan-all six-feet-six-inches two-hundred fifty pounds of him were tangled up in an embrace that resembled an insane football huddle.

After a few minutes, we began unraveling ourselves. Looking up into the splotchy faces still leaking tears of my family, an overwhelming realization hit me,