Wink from Heaven

Monday, April 17, 2017

Easter

When Caleb was born doctors told us he would likely live for days or weeks. While we were in the hospital my dad gave me a blessing that I would learn the atonement could heal a broken heart... Seven years later, the Sunday after Caleb passed away, I sat in sacrament meeting with tears streaming down my face. As I partook of the bread and water my memories flashed back to that moment in the hospital and the phrase "the atonement can heal a broken heart" echoed in my mind. I can now repeat those same words from my own experiences...I know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ, death has been overcome and that our every heartache can be healed. It is with great reverence, love and gratitude that I tearfully reflect on His death, resurrection, and continual tender mercies.

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Saturday, December 31, 2016

This Christmas I was asked to speak at the Christmas Box Angel Vigil at our cemetery. What a tender opportunity to share our story with Caleb and offer our love to so many other families who are missing their children.

Merry Christmas Dear Caleb!

Friday, December 23, 2016

A Wink From San Diego

I love you deeper than the ocean...

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Pin the "i" on the WINK

At our Baadsgaard family reunion this year my brother and sister created a WINK game for all of us to play! We all took turns being blind folded and pinning the dot of the i on the WINK. It touched my heart that they included Caleb in our family games in such a sweet way.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Easter and Caleb

“On Easter Sunday we celebrate the most long-awaited and glorious event in the history of the world. It is the day that changed everything. On that day, my life changed. Your life changed. The destiny of all God’s children changed. When I think of what the Savior did for us leading up to that first Easter Sunday, I want to lift up my voice and shout praises to the Most High God and His Son, Jesus Christ! The gates of heaven are unlocked! The windows of heaven are opened! Today and forevermore, God’s grace is available to all.”

(Elder Dieter F Uchtdorf)

“There is nothing more universal than death, and nothing brighter with hope and faith than the assurance of immortality. The abject sorrow that comes with death, the bereavement that follows the passing of a loved one are mitigated only by the certainty of the Resurrection of the Son of God that first Easter morning.”

(Gordon B Hinckley)

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Caleb's Wink Day 2016

February 10th, the day Caleb died, is always a tender day for our family.

It is a day of quiet reflection & remembering.

We long to hold him in our arms but will always hold him in our hearts.

I know he is a quiet companion for his brothers. I know he loves us and continues to be watchful. I know he is engaged in wonderful work.

Oh how I love our sweet boy and his sweet influence in all I do. What an indescribable blessing he continues to be.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Happy Birthday Caleb

Happy birthday to our sweet Caleb! Caleb would have been 11 years old this year. Oh how I miss this precious boy. Though I long to hold him, I know he continues to be true to his mission. I know he is keeps a careful watch over our family, and I know he is close when we need him most.

His life will always be celebrated on this day- and always.

I love you more than I can say, Caleb.

Happy Birthday!

This year for the boys special Caleb trunks we gave them a small picture of the Payson temple to put inside. We also gave each of the boys a picture of the Payson temple to keep in their bedrooms, a temple tie tack and a letter from Caleb.

We also like to give them a coupon from Caleb to make a memory as a family. This year the coupon was an invitation to attend the Provo temple open house and then an all you can eat dinner.

We love the temple and all it represents. The temple is a constant reminder to me that our family is forever and that our time apart is temporary.

Friday, December 25, 2015

Merry Christmas Caleb

"Because he came to earth, we have a perfect example to follow. As we strive to become more like him, we will have joy and happiness in our lives and peace each day of the year."

Thomas S Monson

I am so thankful for the peace the Christmas season brings and the gentle reminder that because He came, all of our heart aches can be healed.

I love you, Caleb.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Wink from Mount Rainier

Sharing a WINK from beautiful Mount Rainier!

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

A "Wink" at Zion's National Park

Winking at Zion's! We love you Caleb!

Monday, May 25, 2015

Memorial Day

Remembering our sweet Caleb with much love today...

Sunday, April 19, 2015

A Wink at Landscape Arch

Sharing a wink at Landscape Arch!

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Easter

I love the Easter Season and all it represents. I know that my Redeemer lives and that he will not leave us comfortless. Through Him I know we will be with Caleb again.

Heaven sent...
We were blessed with a little boy who always winked!
Caleb's brain did not form, and doctors didn't expect him to live for more than a few weeks. After 8 days in the NICU doctors sent us home saying there was nothing more they could do. Among his various physical challenges, Caleb was missing one of his eyes. Even though he was never be able to say "I love you" with words, he told us every day with his "wink!" His little wink was a daily message of love from heaven.

Caleb’s spirit radiated pure love. He brought the love of God and light of Christ into the lives of all who knew him. Caleb’s life was a precious gift and a tender miracle. His winking eye was a daily reminder of Caleb’s deep love for all of us. Caleb could have quickly returned to heaven but instead he brought heaven to us for seven years.

Caleb was a precious gift to our family, and now it is our priveledge to live in such a way that we will be reunited with him forever.

Prayer for Caleb

(written by Caleb's Grandma in her weekly column -2008-)

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other when we are out in public. We wink. When one of us is about to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

About three years ago, my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he is always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

Caleb has one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . and he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. Caleb is three years old. He is a medical miracle. The doctors say he can’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who know and love Caleb understand he has his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.

After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear and sadness. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating goes on.

We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission have had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he has with each of us is truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Caleb’s five year old brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”

Sometimes Caleb’s baby brother Mitchell pulls out his feeding tube while they hold hands riding together in their double stroller. Sometimes the only intervention that can get Caleb’s heart rate up is when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawl in his crib, hug him and sing, “I am a Child of God.” ...If you have a moment please offer a prayer for the little boy who has never been able to utter a single word and yet has taught everyone who knows and loves him – all the secrets of a rich and meaningful life.