493. NakCari Kayuuuuuuu...

Pocketeers,
come 12midnight tonight, its the end of a wonderful year,
awaiting a mysterious year the second after.
if they say that every night we have to sleep on our bed
with our hands on our forehead chanting..
'nak cari kayuuuu, nak cari kayuuuuuu'
eh!! silap, to movie lain.

If they say that every night we have to sleep on our bed
with our hand on our forehead thinking what have gone
wrong, what have i achieved for today...
How was today?
Was it better then yesterday?
How to make it better tomorrow?

Then lets do a bigger version tonight people!
How was this year?
Was it better then yesteryear?
How to make it better next year?

This year? well i got the habit of posting daily starting from August,
well there were days that i've skipped.. well what can i say,
some days my mind are just as blunt as the tunggul kayu
infront of my house. Sure hope next year, i can reach 300 post by
31stDec'12!! :D

i've started the DermaDarah Campaign for myself,
am aiming to reach 100times, 4 times a year would required
me to be in full health for another 25 years just to reach 100 times!!
wow!! For those who are wondering how old i am,
lets just put it this way, i may or may not finish this quest ..
before i'll die of old ages:D hahhahahaha

I have tried keeping fishes in the house...
i think i wanna make a business
out of this next year! :D Wish me luck:D

I'm buying an oven!! Hopefully by next year,
i dont have to go to TGI Friday everytime
i'm craving for a beef ribs. Ohh.. any tips on the oven pocketeers?

So what else pocketeers?
What about u guys?
putting it in words rather then letting it trapped inside that
mind of your is definitely better sis :D
its a small step towards making it happen.
changing from thoughts to printed idea^^

Today is the day to reminisce.
As tomorrow its the day to plan.
The day after that... is the day to do

492. We Got So Much Of That...

Pocketeers,
a joke i heard the other day,
Laugh out loud about it then,
hope it'll do the same to u:D

On a train somewhere in europe
there was a seat where all four
penumpang have to face each other.
An american guy sitting infront
of a malaysian guy,
a colombian guy by his side facing
a bangladeshian.

At first they didnt talk,
they just sat there minding
their own business. But the  colombian
started to talk about his country and
so does the malaysian, bangladeshian
and American... telling a bit of this
and that about where they're from and
where to head for a good charkoeyteow
joint.

But the colombian kept on and on talking
The american couldnt stand the boasting
and over the top 'my-country-is-better-than-yours'
story that he pulled a 100dollar note
and start flashing it infront of everybody.
Now that he got everybodies attention,
he crumpled the money and throw it out
of the train's window.

'We got so much of that, 
i dont mind losing one.eheh'
chuckled the american.

Seing this the colombian just could
not face defeat and so he pulled out
his colombian cigars. It was told that
Colombian cigars can sometime go as
expensive as 2000USD.. ohh. He cut the
cigars butt and start smoking it...
after 3 to 4 puff of smoke exhaled,
he just threw away the cigars..
off the train.

'we got so much of that,
i dont mind losing one.'
he smiled his cynical smile
looking at the american.

The malaysian and the bangladeshian starts
to look at each other and hastily searching
inside their bag for something expendable.
The American and Colombian just out of
curiosity, waited.
smiling..
oh what is expendable in malaysia and bangladesh?

..and then the Malaysian stand up.
everybody looked up at him.
wahh so strong and healthy this guy is.
what is he going to do?

He grab the bangladeshian guy
by the collar and threw him
through the open train window.
'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!' 
fading screams acompanying
the malaysian macho face.
He didnt look back at how the
Bangladeshian land..

THe american and colombian was numb-struck
by this just looked at the malaysian,
hoping that he himself could explain
his action.

With his thumb pointing to
the back of the train he said...
'We got so much of that,
i dont mind losing one'







heheheheh...
kalau ada bangladeshian baca ni,
jangan mara yer :D just a joke ^^

491. TebalTebalKulitSawa

Ima ke kaunter hardware store,
nak beli cat nippon paint.
'so nak cat rumah yer, 
cik buleh pilih kaler dulu. 
Besar mana dinding yang nak cat tu?' 
tanya staff cik Farid kita..

'dalam 12 kaki panjang, 
6 kaki tinggi jer..' jawab ima
dengan mata terus memandang katalog
warna.

'ooo, kalau gitu 2 tin cukup, 
just make sure jangan tebal sangat.. 
sudah lah'

'kenapa?' tanya ima kembali menatap
wajah farid, tangan terus menyelak
katalog warna cat.

Farid menyambung..
'ada dua sebab tuu, 
satu sebab nanti takut cat tak cukup, 
satu lagi sebab.. kalau sapu tebal nanti... 
takut bilik jadi kecik sikit..'












heheheh :D





ooih!! cat tu tebalnyer sekaki keerr!!

490. RumahTangga...

Pocketeers,
Monday Blues Post...
...even though today its Tuesday.

'Ima.. you.... dah berumahtangga belum?' tanya Farid takut takut.
'belum... ' long pause looking outside at the pakcik yang sapu lantai.
'...well actually berrumah tu dah, tangga nya belum.' sambung Ima.
'eh?' Farid senyum, mengharapkan jawapan metaphor positif untuk
berselingkuh.
'sebab i beli rumah singgle storey jeerr.. beli tangga besi RM120 tu 
buleh kira berRUMAH TANGGA tak?'
'......'



so pocketeers, how is your monday blues?
:D

489. People'sMisery...

Pocketeers,
tell me..
Since when is it that knowing people's
misery would make u feel better?

Why pocket! that question is easy!
-when u come to know that he who took
your girl got run down by an 18 tyres
truck, and now living through a mechanical
paru paru using his Socso or insurance
money down to the pit and his family
is now considering to pull the plug.
Wow!! i'd say that i'll be happy to hear that of course!!
oh but that is just happy for the
vengeance right? OK, wrong description.

-when the father who ditched your mother
for another small frame bimbo 23 years ago,
leaving your mother to trudge the strong
current of life alone by herself,
that father was found dead recently and
left u with some EPF money and a piece of
land for u to 'parang-parang' over.
why? who would'nt be happy? Money Money Money!
Oh but that is just happy for the money right?
So that u can pay the HBO and a grand livina..
ok.. wrong again.

Both of the description above is wrong.

What i meant was, when ever u tell your husband
or your BF or simply the ear-dat-listen that
u had the worst week,
5 interviews and still nothing,
the bonus is too less,
your 'God-Blessed-Deformed-Leg' is aching,
or you just simply had a bad hair day...

..and the advise they gave to you was to sabar
and they remind u about other people's misery...
'ko tahu, kat somalia sana lagi teruk hidup diorang'
'5 interbiew? weh, si samad yang tak cukup 10 tu,
dah gi 50 interbiew tahun nih, dok tanam anggur gitu gak'
'kira ok gak ko dapat gak, aku tak dapat langsung!!'
'ko bayangkan orang yg tak der kaki, camner?'
'ko bayang orang yang tak der rambut.. camner?'
(CikBolat jangan angkat tangan, kamu masih berambut)

ever had those kinda nasihat?
yes yes, i know all about bersyukur and thanking god
bout what we have and blessed with. Yes i know!

..but psychologically speaking, telling people
that his life is not that bad by comparing
to other's misery is not that much of a good
advise dont u think?

Why do I have to care about u not getting your bonus?
u'r rich enough with your monthly salary.

If people's heartbroken can be soothe by hearing
other's misery, then put the picture of those
people who die of starvation on the dining hall.
and serve your son and daughters a 400gm of nasi,
with a piece of ayam masak merah no bigger then
Your thumbdrive. 'Bersyukur lah, orang kat somalia
sana nuu laaagi tak der makanan'
pour them another bowl of gravy sis!!
ooih!!

..and when u'r signing them off to a public school
that have the worst SPM Passing rate in the state,
tell them about those who never made it to school,
never made it to PMR even.. so that they would be
grateful. At least they made it to school.


kan?
In advising people, it has become too common
for people to compare our nasib with those
who are less fortunate ..
and we're suppose to feel good about this why?

488. Ngarut Nya Cinta..

Pocketeers,
sesekali pocket nak mengarut..
then kamu mesti nak tanya..
'kenaper? selama ni tak cukup mengarut lagi ker?'
iyer la.. ni kira lagi mengarut okeh..

pocket rasa pocket jatuh chenta
ngan Kim Possible nih la!
buleh tak? ala buleh laaaa...

suar baggy nyer..
senyuman nyer..
pusat tu tak la bekenan sangat.
flat chest nyer..
talipinggang longgar tu menarik.
muka bulat nyer...
rambut merah lagi panjangnyerr..
attitude? kena tengok katun nyer baru buleh tahu kan.
talk about tengok katunnyer..
suara nyaa..
dengusan nya..
serak serak dihujung ayat nyaaa..
adehlaaa..

cuti pocket is full of her youtube.
so sapa yang fit the above description,
sila angkat tangan

(CikBolat, kamu baru potong rambut, so letak tangan tu)

487. OhBapak ku..

Pocketeers,
Yesterday night i get to see
this movie.. Finally :D
am luving it the whole way!!

..and starting from now on,
i'm going to declare that
TomKruz adalah bapak pocket :D
if he ever going to die,
i'll be there on his death bed
with suri hoping for his harta.
hahahah..

Okeh, pocket merapu.. sori.
(Disclaimer, above ayat is
Saturday-Working-Blues sentences.
do not take it seriously^^)
anyway..

A few things i want to point out.
its not my bapak's fault, its the writer's.

1) Diamonds for payment,
dont u wanna put them in trays
for easy verification of the
ammount and authenticity?
i mean its easier to know that
there was 30pcs of diamonds
if it was in trays with separate
slots for each and every one dont
u think?

2) The BMW that my bapak crashed
was not equiped with any security
that EthanHunt can start itwithout
any fuss.

3) Barang barang IMF tak leh harap.
glove abih bateri lah,
cat nak buat face mask abih lah,
talipon kena ketuk dulu baru 'self-distruct' lah

4) Countdown ... in any case...
is not helping :D

5) Mak oih baju heroin kitaaaaaaa
masa kat parti di india tuuuuu..
adehhh!

6) Pocket still rasa awek yang jatuh
bangunan tu lagi hot

7) Pengarah memang suka bagi TomKruz sakit.
kira cam hero hindustan lah kan.
kena langgar la dalam ribut pasir,
kepala sangkut masa nak masuk bilik
dari luar burj khalifa,
jatuh atas keter pun terhantuk kepala
lah.. adehaaaiii.

8) EthanHunt jauh lagi muda dari pakcik
jahat tu, tapi still tak sempat nak ligan?
kat rusia tak sempat,
dlm ribut tak sempat,
kat india pun tak sempat. kenapa?

ada lagi nak kata,
tapi macam tak sesuai n panjang dah la plak..
so off the pocket doing his work on a fine
saturday morning.
PestaPenangJom!

485. Random Post

Random post.

1) Monster, dinasour, musuh ultraman,
Dalam bahasa melayunya 'raksasa' kan?
 Ke 'raksaksa'?

Pasal rasa kalau sebut mcm 'raksaksa' je.
 Ohh.

2) Paranoid adalah perasaan tak senang duduk telebih lebih
merisaukan keselamatan, kejayaan, kenakalan dan juga jenayah.
 'kang MC tak dapat kang, kita makan durian manyak sikit lah!
bg badan ni panas sikit!'

'awek aku sampai ke tak lagi tu? talipon lagi lah'
biarpun 3 minit lepas dah tepon.

'kang kalau aku sigong, mahu menjerit ni,
nak sigong ke tak? Nak sigong ke tak?'
 (post lepas nye klip.)

N Pocket yg menyamar sebagai pondan hanya kerana
takut kantul masa tgk ghost protocol dengan cuti MC
adalah paranoid telebih lebih kan? Hehe

3) Pocket selalu bersangka buruk dengan titisan titisan air
di dinding toilet awam. Makcik cleaner basuh dinding kalu
takper la, kalau 'air' lain?

Eii welkh!

485. Winning Or Losing

Pocketeers, an emotional post.
i have wrote something like this before,
here i am posting about it again.

This life is a game,
there is not such thing as 'fair',
nothing that spelled near as 'same',
or 'good' and 'bad'.
Its about winning.. and losing.

You ask a guy,
'oh so u have a blog?
how is the traffic?'
'well about 120unique a day' was his
answer and u smile 'oh good!'
while inside your heart, u thought..
in blogging comparing to this loser..
'i won!'

u went and cut the line for people who
waited to use the ATM machine, U hold
up your hand asking for permission,
the old lady was nice enough to smile
and let u cut.
U smile back,
while inside your heart, u thought...
'i won'
i have taken a short cut in getting
my money today and this makcik... lost

u were walking with her and
intentionally u've 'sigong'
her chest. She gave a short shriek
and yelled 'hoi! aper ni!!' in full
furious of the mother dragon who
have red blazing fire as her hair
she got angry at you. U apologize
and told her it was an accident.
For what it matter, u didnt felt
anything.
Pujuk punya pujuk, rayu punya rayu..
Due to love and the fact that
no one else can send her home, she
accepted your apology. And off u go
holding hands like u'r suppose to.
U smiled, she smiled back..
u thought..
'I won'
... in a game of asking for apology
for what i did that clearly is wrong,
she lost

He hit u again, hit u hard this time,
a few bruises on your shoulder, a swollen
finger and a cut in your upper lips.
U thought u had it this time,
u'll leave him this time...
But he beg for mercy,
kneeling by the front door
putting his hand together,
asking for forgiveness.
U fall for those 'kesian' eyes
just like puss in boots.
u say 'OK'
he say 'sorry'
He smiled...

484. Melting Point...

.. is a temperature at which a
solid changes state from solid
to liquid. (Wikipedia)

...is basically a point where
the bond between particle breaks
down and thus changes its form
with the help of external force.
(Pocket-ikut-suka-ati-dia)

Bond : perokok
Particle 1: man
particle 2: cigarete
external force:
Kempen kerajaan yang halus mulus
bagaikan angin meniup telinga
dipetang ari,
makian atau teguran isteri,
batuk batuk bagai nak rak
ditambah dengan dengusan
tak puas ati tiap kali si suami
nak isap rokok kat luar restoran
masa anak bini dok sedap makan ketam.
ohh jangan dicaci ikut suka ati,
kang meletup sisuami,
tak jadi nak beranak lagi :D
tak dilupakan juga ngan harga
makin meningkat, tempat merokok
jauh dari ofis dan
kesihatan anak beranak:D

Bond : Marriage
Particle 1: Suami
Particle 2: Isteri
External Force :
Kemiskinan, mak mentua, isteri yang
dok tendang laki tetiap kali dia nak
merokok.(Heheh, jangan tau! tak baik..
tegur pelan pelan okeh)
si suami yang naik tangan tetiap kali
ditegur kenapa balik lambat.
dan tidak dilupakan juga kepada si suami
yang pemabuk atau kaki judi tak nak jaga
bini.
(Tp ada exception sikit kat taik pit,
entah kenapa isteri mereka jarang tinggalkan
bewak idup tu, anyone know why?)

Bond : Carrier
Particle 1: employer
Particle 2: employee
External Force:
kemiskinan, mak mentua,
(Eh kenapa yang ni sama?)
utang umah, utang grand livina,
utang kredit kad...
Internal Force:
Entah kenapa utk 'ikatan' ni,
ada internal force which is ...
bonos kureng, keja banyak, keja mengarut,
keja berat sebelah, department lain rilek
department kita jer penat,clerk tak comel,
receptionist tak layan.. heheheh

so pocketeers,
any other bond or ikatan
we can discuss?? :D heheheh

483. 3 Things U Wont Agree...

3 things i think u wont agree with me.

1)
i'm ok with lez, lets refer to the word
as the letter 'L' from now on okeh..
segan gak nak taip nam kali..
I'm Ok with L, now i'm not saying that
L is Halal or How does the community should
look into the matter.
Its wrong i know..
but i'm OK with it.

Why? u might ask.
What is sexier then one sexy lady?
...
...
well...
two sexy lady being sexy of course!!
heheheh >:D


2) I think people should look into smoking
issues in a more serious aproach,
saman on sight,
or even better katok on sight.
put aside the whole cigarrette is contributing
a lot in Malaysia's economy from the taxes
cause healthwise, we are in jeopardy.

A young girl by the age of five was walking
and her eyes got hit by the cigarete fire
making her blind.
I guess the smoker was holding his cigarete
with his arm straight, walking through the
walkway and a five year old girl height would
be about that much also no?
Imagine you grown up to your beautiful and happy
twenties without your eyesight? when u ask your
mother why.. the answer was 'a smoker did it'.
How would u feel?

me? my work uniform got burnt last night,
the smoker was holding his 'torch'
recklessly in a pasar malam.
oiihh

3) Big Big companies like Honda, FOrd, Suzuki,
Celcom, Digi, Maxis and even 'Anakku' should
put their commercials in NuffNang more!
(Oh but this one i think u guys
do agree with me right? heheheh)

Hey hey!! its wednesday!
another 2 days to work till the HOLIDAY.
Book a one night stay in the HardRock Hotel
maybe pocketeers?
ohh as if i have the cash ^^;

482. VlogDuluDulu...

A post triggered by previous post :
481. WhyDoWeNeed...

Pocketeers,
i am old.. i am so old that i lived
through the black and white TV, The
colour TV untill now its the LCD Tv..
CikBolat is so young that she only
knows LED TV which just came out
recently.
(Lawak jer tau!jangan la amik ati plak^^)

Back in our days, we use to have letters
as our way of corresponding with people afar.
sending it now would mean she'll be reading
it 4 days later (if she is still in malaysia)
and for you DhiyaFariza, it'll be another 2 weeks
till u'll be getting my surat out there in
al-mansoura. Its more personal sending letters,
your handwriting and smears of your sweat would
give a hint of existence. kissmark on the
parchment?
habihlaa kami lelaki penasaran tak leh tido :D

Then someone who are bunga enough
in our MRSM come up with this brilliant
idea of recording his voice into a
cassette and sent it to his girl.
waaaahhhh.. i remember hearing the
reply for the first time. it was heaven.
Even though she was somebody elses girl,
i am still falling inlove.
She's putting some luv song at the back
as the Background music, talking and
chuckling her cute cute laughter..
sometime she even sing to the background
music.. ooii!! kasihanilah kami!!

She talks on, her sweet sweet voice just
would melt and send us to the diabetic
ward for our insulin shot. There were
interuption, seems like her younger sister
came bugging her and she treated her with
the cutest baby voice.
'ala dik ah tayang ni nak kena
gigit ngan mak cu ni!! gigit diaaaa'
Adehlaaaa... cut me up now,
and see my heart bleeding:D

He kept on sending cassette one after
another and she kept on replying.
The Background music changed, one that
made me choke myself was the sound of
the wave crushing over the beach. Oiih!
They went on i guess, heard rumours that
one of the cassette lost from his possession.
well what can u expect.
We're boys with different background >:D

So this is another use for a tape recorder.
Traditional Vlog.. not for Video Log,
but Voice Log.
People nowadays will not be having the same
adrenaline rush like we do.. just because
u guys got yourself handphones.

Hey hey.. lets start sending surat people!
i know the chemical will be different :D

Pocket pun nak kena belajar Vlog
cam cik Hanie&Jue jgak ker haa?

481. WhyDoWeNeed...

...a tape recorder,

 oh i forgot, u guys are generation that
 never saw a tape recorder. well basically
 an audio recording device. It can be anything
 base on when is this text is being read.
 MP3 for people who look up to Najib and
 Pak Lah as their PM :D.

 so why pocketeers? why?
The most common one is when u are too lazy
 to take note and thought that those laziness
 would wear off when the clock reaching 11pm
 and the FOX channel is showing TerraNova
 series for the third time.
 well newsflash pocketeers,
no!! laziness will not wear off :D

 Another one is for listening your own
 voice conversing in foreign language.
 yes yes you over there.. i know u know this
better then anyone else ayaq masak.
 Pocketeers, on a fine day when your voice
is as merdu as the tweeting bird. Try to record
your voice while u'r conversing in english and
hear em again... u will be amaze at what u'll hear..
is it the same as Selena Gomez when
 she's in that 'wizards of waverly place'?
or maybe with an accent like harry potter,
pronouncing water with an apostrophy at the 'T'...
like WA'ER me?
i tried this, i sounded just like
a malaysian who speaks english :D
'yes lah, u know.. det wan never can sell waaannn
hahahah

 oh oh.. another one more reason.
and this is quite interesting..
We need a tape recorder to eavesdrop
 in people's conversation. On a fine day
when everyone just in the mood to gossip,
 try to start recording and leave the device
 hidden on your desk camouflage like it was
 some decoration duck or a paper weight
in the shape of a dog poo.

 U'll be surprise at the result :D
 'waahhh, pergi jugak pocket, orang baru nak 
gossip pasal awek dia, kacau daun betul lah' 


 'korang tahu, pocket tu bodek gila gila punya, 
 sebelum si farid tu jadi boss dulu, cam biasaaa 
 jer diorang kawan. sekarang... siap belanja makan siot!! 
galaxy tab yang bini si farid pakai tu? pocket lah !!' 


 'pocket tu sebenarnya taik pit, dia ngaku sendiri 
dulu masa aku rapat ngan dia dulu, hampir masuk 
 pusat lah wei!' 

 oi oi! bila masa plak pocket masuk pusat?
 camni punya overweight pun layak jgak nak
 jadi taik pit ker? apoooolah.
Any other reason why do we need a tape recorder pocketeers?

480. NakSofa! NakSofa!

pocketeers,
the rumours is out..
people are talking about it,
some even counting days...
cant blame them..
its a yearly thing.
once a year..
where workers like me are hoping for bonus.

some says we'll get 6month of bonus..
(ko ingat ko keja petronas ker aper? tipu!tipu!)
some says we'll get it by the last day of 2011.
(so that all of us can get drunk celebrating
new year? what is there to celebrate?)
some even say that there is nothing to hope for..
nil, nada, nahi, zit.. maner ade bonos wei!
(oh how we wish that this is not true)

however it is,
how much money even we're talking about..
when ever there is money promised to be out...
cant stop the people from forecasting and planning.

If we're getting 2 month, i'm getting that ALZA.
If we're getting 1 month, i'm getting a MyVi
if we're not getting anything, i'll update my resume.

some even made a list...
new sport rim for the honda is about 3k plus..
maybe a trip to langkawi with the family would be
another 2k plus, ohh.. tak cukup!
have to get there by car instead.

Oh how i would love to get me those Lorenzo's Sofa
that pass for three to sits while watching movies,
that enough for me to sleep on without my leg tangling,
and of course... one that will not squeak if u...
if u...
if u'r doing sit up on it. heheh


The best thing about bonusses is,
kita hanya merancang, tuhan yang menentukan.
after the bonus, we will still be seing those
guys come to work by his old iswara. oh i tot
u'r handing out your resign letter?
those trip to bali.. changed to pangkor.
those new white and soft leather sofa...
never made it to our living room.

As for me, let us be realistic, no sofa for me,
i just want to clear up my C card.
hoping that next year, i can actually pay for
those faster TM Internet subscription or pay
for the HBO. humm hummmm

What about u guys, done planning
your bonus already?

478. MelawakKasar

Pocketeers,
Pocket orang kedah,
Lahır hospıtal alor setar.
Pertama kalı jejak negerı orang pada
Tıngkatan 4. Ke perlıs masa budak skolah yang ada walkman kaset dok bangga abıh dah. Aıwa tuu, 79 hınggıt jer ponn.

Fırst tıme pocket sampaı penang adalah masa keja. Woh! Takut sıot. Kononnya orang penang kasar bahasanya..
'pııııraaah!!'
'apa dok ghaplah jıngga,
jangan dok jadı sıru la kat sını!'
Adalah sunggoh menakutkan pocket.
Oh what ıf ı offend them wıt my kedah joke?

Selepas 2 tahun dıpenang pocket dapat tahu kata, ıts about the joke that separates Kedah n Penang.
Orang Penang melawak attack personal tapı orang Penang tak penah amık pusıng atau tak penah rasa atı.
'nı apa lcd kamera hang kechık sangat nı!? Nak teghopong muka orang !pun susah!' usually would offend people, but not anak mamı penang.
'hang nı gajı saja dok mengaku rıbu rıbu, tapı kedekut taık ıdong masın!'
Kalau kena kat orang kedah, akan keluarlah ayat balas yang menggambarkan bahagıan tubuh orang yang berulat atau buruk dıhurung semut.
Heheh.

'Penang melawak kasar tapı tak terasa atı.'


Tapı hakıkatnya manusıa adalah manusıa, hatı nı dıcıpta utk merasa. Mengaku lah yang kamu dısakıtı and tell.. Jangan dok bangga sangat. Pocket g jejalan bebaru nı sempat menyaksıkan orang penang 'melawak'
Masa dok kondem anak hang hıtam, bını hang tak retı hurup rumı, pak hang kakı pendek sebelah, memang dıselangı hılaı tawa. Tapı lepas tu yang nangıs dlm toılet pun ada, yang mula belı face whıtenıng lotıon pun ada. Yang tak bagı anak kawan pun ada.. Inı ke yg kıta mahu?


regardless from whereever we are.
Try not to offend anyone when jokıng okeh. N thınk fırst before sayıng anythıng.
'keter kena tarık pasal xbayar kot, takkan la keter macam tu pun kena curı koot'
Ohh, mcm la kıta nı semekın sangat tak mampu nak bayar kan..adehla

478. Pocket Bertambah Demam

Pocketeers,
this morning i got sick,
i got so sick that i'm sleeping with the hanky
placed right below my nose so that if any water
drip, it would not make the tiled floor slippery.
And boy did it dripped!!

i woke up at 9am with the hanky so wet i could
perah and get a glass of liquid. ohh!!

and so i slept hoping my health would recover.
waking up at 12 to eat maggi with a couple of
sausage. At 3pm i went to the Petronas nearby
to get some money.. even though it was mid of
the month, i still had to que. oh why?

After the AbangLah settled their business,
a makcik approached the ATM with an anvelope
in her hand.. she didnt know what to do and
she turned around to ask me how to take money.
oh makcik, but i'll charge u after u know..
about 20 ringgit for my service.heheh
okeh that was a joke.. why would a nice guy
like me would take an old lady money's right?

sheepishly she gave me the card and the password
was handwritten underneath a handsomely written
paragraphs of love letter.
Since i could scan a few words 'mak' and 'abah'
i'm guessing its a loveletter from a daughter.
Men just dont write nicely like that :D

She talks a lot, i guess the makcik is malu malu
being a malay lady but dont know her way around
the ATM machine, i guess people really do that
when they're segan segan. Cant blame her..
'anak makcik ni .. dok kat KL. katanya dia
hantarkan wit lama dah, tapi si bapaknya bagi
hilang kad plak... bla bla bla.. keja bagus katanyaa..
bla bla .. ari tu pi siam.. bla bla'

well basically from her talking,
it was her fourth month working in the big city,
she opened an account under her name to send money
to her mother. her mother holds the card for
easy cash out i guess..

'Jadi makcik, kalau nak tengok berapa duit ada
tinggal tekan la kat sini, saya tekan na.. '
was part of my instruction

it was about 5k... ooihhh!!

and then i helped her to take out RM800
Give a few pesanan not to talk to strangers and
get onto pakcik's motorcycle as fast u can before
some perampok come and take her money away.

and they went away with me still behind the glass
wall of the petronas mart lifting my hand to the
pakcik. Off they went leaving me feeling intimidated.
leaving me feeling small...

oh oh.. i need to get a new job that can allow me
to send money to my mother more then RM150
permonth.

adehlaaaaa....
Demam pocket bertambah demam....
MC again tomorrow?

477. WW: NampakTak?

Pocketeers?

Tengah bawak keter Kampeni..

nampak tak speedometer tu tunjuk berapa KM/J?

tak kan...

or atleast with my height driving the new proton saga

i could not see the speedometer that much,

regardless how ever do i change the steering height.

ohh... dah tu camana nak tahu kita tengah speeding ker tak!?

adehlaaa...

Kira wordless wednesday gak tak nih?

476. TakRetiMasak...

Pocketeers,

people who cant cook, can still condemn our bad cooking.

so tak yah la nak cakap..

'eehh.. yang ko larang aku mencurik ni ko tu baik sangat?'

iyer, pocket pilih 'mencurik' sebagai katakerja negatif kat

sini hanya untuk satu tujuan, pocket tak nak offend anyone.

iyer lah kan.. sebut tak pakai tudung, kang ada yg melenting.

(pocket tak kisah sebenarnya, lagi suka ada..)

sebut k-pop.. ada lagi melenting.

sebut rantai burung antu, ader la kot yg melenting.. kan.

berbalik kepada tak reti masak.. yes orang yg tak reti

masak pun tahu kalau ayam tu tak masak, garam telebih lebih,

or perut ikan tak dibuang.. tu basic tu beb... lain la kalau

dia tegur bebenda advance...

-white sauce ko ni berketul ketul lah beb,

-ko taruk daun sup jer dalam ni kan, akarnyer ko tak taruk ker?

-hyayakko orang taruk halia lah aho! yang gi taruk kunyit tu sapa suruh!?

which itupun kamu buleh persoalkan ...'sekolah mana dulu?' ajer..

tp still bebenda negatif yang orang buat,

buleh jer budak sekolah kondem.

laagi lah kita yang kena kondem ni patut malu.

peh.. budak sekolah pun tahu, inikan plak aku.

so kalau kena kondem,

oi! jalan tu tengok depan! jangan dok tengok aurat orang.

oi! orang sebut pukul lapan, datang la 755! kamu tu lebar, kena awal sikit!

oi! buat keja! kang aku tak bagi bonos kan!! dok sembaaang jer keje..

.... sila sila lah buat... jangan melawan.

heheheh ooohhh sedihnya ari ni sedih :(

475. MyDesk..

Pocketeers,

Sis Jue wanted to see my desk..

its not something to be proud of.

but i guess, just so that people would

know me,

no i'm not a tidy person.

I could live in a library,

without the shelf.

PS: just a quick post as

my karangan is not finished yet..

ohh ohh.. busynya kebelakangan ni.

7am-7pm everyday..

nak cutiiiii!!!! MC jom!!

and yes... the kertas gulung is for

telinga.. tapi ada ka orang korek idung!?

jari dok ada!!?

474. BatangBergulung..

Pocketeers,

Now i know...

...that i have a very faithful readers,

on Saturday, i have 'selit' a picture

of a joke, hoping that someone would

actually commented on it, giving silly

replies or simply say something about it.

But check back people!

no reply on the picture!

U guys actually prefer to read

my story instead. Ohh i'm flattered.

(True or not, am putting behind,

let me enjoying my moment okeh^^)

anyway as today is monday,

and i know that u guys are not

in the mood to read dat much.

here it go again.

What do u think is the answer?

The person who got it right,

i'll gulung 20pcs of these for ya,

hand pick here in penang though,

cause we dont do deliveries :D

heheheh

473. Know Your Game...

Pocketeers,

its sunday and i woke up late today.. 640am..

ohh..

A shout out to myself and for u .. maybe.

do u know how to play the badminton?

i bet u do...

no i mean the rules and regulation?

the shuttle falls inside the white line, means in.

the shuttle falls outside means out.

do not touch the net,

do not flirt with the empire,

do not intentionally smash the shuttle

to the empire, even if she gave a few bad calls.

well the whole shabang, and i dont have

to list it down here right? u know better.

Sports would be the same with life i guess,

it teaches u to follow the rules and goal oriented.

know your goal, think of strategies to win it.

and work with the pantang larang to get ahead.

Lets talk about work for instance.

like my work, i'm the carton stamper for instance,

my goal is to finish stamping 400 carton a day,

and that is what i have to do... 400 carton a day it is,

if i cant get it... then i'll lose. Just like how bowlers

lost if they cant get an average of 260pins and above.

Like friendship,

I have u guys as my 'virtual' friends,

a few more in my real world.

every comment needs reply,

every temujanji needs me to show up, Sory ayaq masak.

every sms and calls to be attended to,

and so that is what i have to do...

reply!!

show up!!

and if i fail to do so, i'll lose.

just like how a petanque player who

fail to get as much balls near the le petite.

...and just like when u are in love.

know the prohibition in the games,

do not let her know that u'r flirting with girls,

do not let her see the naughty message in your HP,

Show up on time and whatever she cook, is delicious!

or else u'll lose!!

Just like how a swimmer dont know that she suppose

to reach the final wall with both hands. DQ when she

actually won.

(Thanks Bashtiah for the awesome story : Know It All Yeah)

so pocketeers,

year 2011 i have lost in a minigame i got myself into.

lost it once and got humiliated by the 'L' mark in the

forehead all year long.

I'm not going to lose again in 2012...

set your goal,

know the rules,

and win the game. Hoyeah!!!

472. GulungLagi!

pocketeers,

once in a while i will be writing without

any proper intention or purpose, letting

this fat tingling bones from my hand dancing

on the keyboard forming words and telling

stories about myself in this blog.

Talking about blog.. Miss FatinMraz did

a great post the other day about how to blog.

its a wake up call to some of us and for me

its a reminder of what we're doing here.

Check it out here :

4 cara blogger lain boleh 'menghidu' blog anda

3 cara pembaca terus mengikut blog anda

one thing that i have to add would be,

in blogging.. people want to know more

about the blog owner. yes.. u can always

type informative story like how Bro Saiazuan

was telling people about gadgets and that

would attract people very much but still,

people would like to know the blog owner

too. u never know! he or she might be

the one who will be sitting by your side on

your wedding day. So loosen up the story

and slip in a thing or two about u..

yes u.. the blog owner who key in your

e mail add and password at every blogging

session :D

things like what Saiazuan wrote

in his post >Kerjaya about him

focusing in Software Developing

would definitely interest blogger

from the same field no?

Kerjaya kan?

pocket is thinking about changing

his carrier to a better one now.

Aiming for an extra RM500 a month

cause i wanna own that car that

can also brought a bicycle on top,

right now my only transport would

be the 2wheelers EX5.

The housemate's kancil can always

top those bicycle up but it would

look funny.

And carrying a bicycle with my EX5 would

be even funnier.. heheh

ohh, what can i say, people always

think about people's comment and

criticism

My zipper is undone lah,

(Please do tell me this before

massive damage is done)

Your desk is messy lah,

your handphone is too cheap lah,

hey hey.. if we always think about

people's comment, who's life are we leading?

oh no! but i do care about the comment

that u'r leaving in my blog.

Your comment really made my day,

and i luv reading and reply each and

every one of them, but these recent week

have been hectic and i just dont have the

time to reply back, for that i am sorry.

Hope changing my work can give me more

time to blog happily. (If i can..)

or do i need those android handphone

that could access my blog and write comment

as soon as you pushed the button 'publish comment'?

now that would be nice.

471. U Tak Tipu Kan?

Pocketeers,

yesterday i watched dat movie 'in time'

its ridiculous but in the same time

brilliant to push your imagination a bit.

it starts with the question ...

'what-if'

What if the curency in this world is base

on time granted to you monthly. like by

the end of this month, i'm getting 4 years

of time to spend and ... a ticket to watch

a two hours movie cost u 120minutes.

merapu kan.. i know.

but it is still interesting.

no no i'm not going to give u reviews as

this movie is quite old already.

just a few things i've noticed.

-that lady can surely run in those heels kan :D

-everyone is equiped with an LED light,

'..once the floating device float in the water,

wave your hand to show people your whereabout'

:D (instruction dari cabincrew sebelum berlepas)

-suma orang pakai baju longsleeve sebab takut

kena rompak ngan jumlah cash yang melekat kat

tangan gitu :D

anyway... as i was trying to understand

the movie that i bought for RM5 with

great picture but lousy sound.

i got an idea..

what if our dosa pahala is stated in our

left and right deltoids (Daging bahu)

just like how people place tatoos in their

shoulders.

Wouldnt that be something to see ??:D

If i gave some money at the masjid,

the green number from the right shoulder will

go up a bit.

If i steel someone's slipar right outside

of the masjid, then the left red number will

go up a bit.

well u get the idea...

imagine..

1) the durian hawker will have to show their

shoulder just to be more convincing.

'yang ni elok ni kak!! durian batu kurau punya!'

and the red number goes up..

tipu lah tuuuuuu

2) berdua dengan isteri memalam n si bini tanya..

'tadi abang gi mana?' abihlaaaaaa...

3) tengah dok bersukan main badminton,

number sang suami belah bahu kiri naik 15 point...

terus si suami talipon isteri..'sayang, u kat mana?

oohh.. tengah dok lepak ngan kak timah kat umah dia..

ok.. eh kak timah? korang ngumpat yek?'

heheh..

4) Oh tak aci!! nak tau pompuan bersuami hanya

perlu tengok kat red numbers dia, kalau tak der

tu maksudnya dah bersuami lah tu kan.. almaklumlah,

kan ker suami tanggung.

5) kelab malam tak perlu lampu merah lagi..

bling bling dok nyala :D

6) interviews utk jadi imam masjid requires 70k points

just to pass the first test. waaahhhh

anything anymore pocketeers?

470. DahSetahun.. Tak Rosak Lagi

Selasih timbul diwaktu petang,

Cik Adik menggayung air perigi,

rezeki orang emas datang,

rezeki kita emas tak pergi

pocketeers,

semua orang bila sebutkan rezeki,

mesti pikirkan orang belanja makan..

tengah jalan jumpak emas seketul,

gaji naik dihujung tahun..

bonos yang diharapkan kunjunglah tiba.

Semua benda yang plus jer.

as if a plus to something,

kalau dah ada nasik ngan ikan goreng tu,

another ketul of ayam goreng is a plus.

(Rojak nyer bahasa melayu kamu pocket!)

cenggini jer yg kita gelarkan rezeki.

sebenarnya salah!

(Actually kamu semua sudah tahu lagi ingat,

ni pocket jer nak ingatkan diri sendiri)

Bukan yang plus tu ajer dipanggil rezeki yer adik adik..

yang 'tak minus' tu pun rezeki gak tau!

Seperti contoh : rezeki pocket murah bulan ni

-December tak pancit lagi tayar motor EX5 ku..

-December and november demam sekali jer baru :D

-roti yang pocket dok beli, tak sempat berkulat dah

abih dah.. (Eh ni silap kot)

-henpon murahan yang pocket beli tahun lepas,

sampai sekarang ni tak rosak rosak. <-which actually

harap gak rosak, so that pocket buleh beli henpon baru :D

So bebenda camni pun kita patut anggap rezeki.

n say Alhamdulillah selalu,

kalau ada yg lebih tu, sila lah keluarkan

sedekah seadanya moga rezeki kat orang lain plak. :)

eh sejak bila plak pocket buat post baik baik nih?

buleh la kan.. sesekali.. alaaa buleh la yer.. :D

469. Ai.. takkan tak kenal kot?

Pocketeers,

kalau zaman talipon talian kat umah dulu buleh la main main gini..

'ai? takkan tak kenal?'

ngan suara sebagai clue,

laki ka pompuan...

ini zaman SMS pun nak main gak?

macam la orang ingat nombor zaman sekarang nih...

adehlaaaa sayang

PS: Wordless Wednesday?

468. BrokeDown Pocket

Pocketeers,

Today I was told a 'sebak' story,

its not a sad story,

far away from those mushy tears tears kinda

story but its just a soft story about how

life is sometime not that yellow brick with

flowers along the way.

Thorns and puddle is also

there to make us happy.

She told the story all so nicely and I heard

every bit of them. Yes sis.. with your pic in

the computer screen, imagining u were talking

to me tru, I listen to every breath u exhaled

and even your smile seems so clear through that

cheap handphone speaker of mine.

Along the story there was this moment where she

told me about the main character healed from

his sickness and started to ask for food. Even

wanting to go out and about, going for boat

rides and singing competition...

The part where she mentioned

'There was i doing all the thing he wanted to

do .. Its nearly the same as granting someone's

last wishes.'

Listening to this, I broke down,

yes u guys know me, i'm the kind of guy who

would break in tears even at that movie 'real

steel' and armageddon.

I guess that is it with pengarah, writers and

a good story teller, they know where to rip off

our heart and tear it apart. Let u felt pity for

the main character and then they show u the

light from it all like Atom from 'RealSteel'

They let u feel pity with Malaysia playing

againts Indonesia, and they let the match end

with a heart tormenting penalty that resulted

in the hero's winning.

Oh wait seminit, that was real life.

...and that is what we need to be pocketeers,

we need to tell stories that could bring

tears of joy to readers. a smile unintentionally

sparkled by the end of the paragraph.

a wind of relief as the hero won in the end.

oh.. i'm not that good yet,

sure hope i can be one someday :D

PS: yes yes, its suppose to be 'her' story,

but i cant tell her story without her permision

can i? plus... even if she do ask me to write

about it, i dont think i'm that good yet ^^

467. Btul ker teww?

Pocketeers,

i was sitting down,

my knee hurts, and my back aching.

The heart thumping, the blood all rushing.

ohh.. i dont think i'm that young

anymore, Its the second round circling

the Jusco Bukit Mertajam and here i am ...

panting.

Cute little girls sitting right by my side on the bench.

Young in their shawl with top so tight, i think i know

they're using one hook or two.

Sat near to me like i did not matter to them,

on the positive side, i now i dont smell bad.

on the negative side, i know i've lost the

ancaman of a man who would flirt with them.

I know u wont seat by the side of a guy who

look like he's the same age as u right?

all of those who's still teenager please answer.

For them i am not more then an old guy,

A rusty old pole they would gave up their seats

in busses.

ohh..

and being that close to them,

i just cant help eaves dropping.

'so camana mamat ari tu?'

'tak nak ah.. suare sedap, tp sms gagal!'

'ohh kejap!! dont tell me he's old!!?'

'yes!! seems like it, dia eja abis semua down

to the imbuhan... tak sanggup ah aku!'

'sure dia tu pakcik kan..'

and they laughed...

hehehhahahahhuhuhuhuhihihihhohohoh... ooihh!!!

ohh...sedihnya pocket

1) kena belajar tulis bahasa sms 'muda' ker pas ni?

'hai!! chat? i kner g klas jap, u jgn mrh yew'

Okeh pocket try!!

2) pocket check balik SMS pocket,

wah!! 'independant' pun pocket taip sampai ke

silent 't' nyer!! abih laaaaa...

3) bahasa jiwa bangsa sis!!

hehehheh

466. KatSana?

Pocketeers,

Short story,

maktuk story,

'paih tu pocket pun gi lah ke depan kan, maktookkk...

depa punya la lawa pakai, masa raja kelantan ka raja

negeri mana ntah turun tu, bini dia ka anak dia punya

la lawaaa.. baju meghelit meghelap!(liplap)'

mama was listening to my story,

maktuk was listening too..

but i dont know that eyelid is opened or closed,

cause maktuk now is so old,

her wrinkles is getting more obvious.

'masa raja selangor mai kat hotel kami tu kan,

pulis pun dok eskot lah kan.. ada kot dalam tujuh

lapan bijik motor trapik.. raja turun dari keter,

semua orang dok angkat tangan salam,

ngan daulat tuanku nya sekali'

pocket never saw the royals before,

standing infront of the concorde hotel

while the royals were arriving for their

function is a bit too much for the pocket

to handle.

almaklumlah jakun sikit.

'lepaih tu la maktuk, kereta raja raja kita

semua pakai yang mahai mahai tok!

ngan tinted nya.. keter raja selangor tu

plet namber pun tak dak! punya la hebat..'

'elleeeehhhh. kat dunia ni lagu tu la,

mengebat dengan baju lawa kereta lawa,

besok kat padang mahsyar, sama gak

bogey macam kita.. dok languuut

tunggu penimbang tu nak jatuh mana..'

jawab maktuk ngan telapak tangan ditunjukkan,

macam kata..'Piiraahh!!!'

eh kesitu plak maktuk..

orang nak citer kejakunan orang,

ngan kehebatan kesultanan kita..

kesitu plak perginya dia... adehlaaa maktok.

465. Kangkang

as if sekangkang kera...

Pocketeers,

Money... is the source of all evil.

when u add money into charity,

the devil will step in.

When u add money into blogging,

the devil is already in.

when u add money into love,

then everything will collapse

for they are from two different

element that will burn each other.

Examples, lets say that back in the 50s,

Farid and me were buddies,

Somehow i got a bit more rezeki

then him, so i have come to own a few

piece of land that i grow prohibited

plant on them. Not much,

malay call it as 'sekangkang kera'

Since farid dont have

any place to live, all the rumah teres

and semi'ds is either taken or too expensive

that farid could not afford for so i

let him stay in my land.

i dont care... farid and me were buddies,

we ate from the same mangkuk,

and drank from the same cawan.

hell i'll be damn before

i ever go kedekut with farid.

he never did.. and so will i ...

ever!

but our friendship is bound by this flesh

god created us into.

We've grown old and rusty,

slept to god awaiting heaven (Hopefully)

Then the devil comes in.

u see, my daughter and farid's son will

never have the bonds like me and farid use to.

they just know each other as 'daddy's friend's children'

the problem comes when my future daughter

wanted to have the land farid's family

have been living for ages.

According to the will, the land belong to her...

inheritated from her late father.

which is me. so she'll be insisting for it.

No doubt.

Imagine the condition.

just because farid never asked me for the land,

buy it from me with payment

like a lifetime supply of his wife's

nasik goreng every morning maybe...

just because of that, farid's son will have to move.

leaving the old house demolished along with memories

and scenery of the late farid laughing hysterically

shouting 'brakes!! brakes!!'

teaching his son to ride the bike,

Just because of our friendship,

those picture of farid and his son

eating tembikai by the stairs will soon

be only picture. the stairs will be kayu api...

or somebody second hand pagar.

ohh..

so!!

yes, we are friend.

we are brothers.

we are sisters.

lets keep the legal things stay legal.

the grey color to be black and white.

for we fear the future, that holds a lot of uncertainty.

money... is a bond breaker.

PS: nak tanya pun susah gak kan..

'err pocket, tanah yang aku dok duduk ni,

tukar nama aku buleh tak?' oooooooo awkward

464. Am Blaming U

Pocketeers,

to whom should i blame this purchase to?

heheheheh...

anyway.. last nite i was late,

the flight was at 2210, i reached the subang airport by 910.

which was suppose to be ok since u have to be there 45minutes

earlier. but the flight was delayed for about 20minutes..

so i went to the a kopitiam there just by the side of

palmsportsbar and had tea. They have wifi so what to do?

surf a bit, BW a bit.

(Hey!! i know the password to their WIFI!

free internet while waiting anyone?)

i didnt look at the time while BlogWalking.

This i'm blaming u guys okeh.. your writing kept

me in my own time less zone.

then, at 10pm the staff came to me and told me that its

time to close.. ohh.. ok, means that i have another 30minute

to board the plane right?.. good good..

and so i walked towards the boarding hall and

i saw this book on the shelf. Eh.. macam selalu

dok tengok dlm blog blog pocketeers sekalian jer..

And i remembered how u guys kept on telling

how good it was and everything,

pikir punya pikir...

pikir lagi pikir..

pikir pikir!! na na nannananana

belilah!!

leaving me with another 2 minutes to spare for the

body check and the long walk towards the airplane

that is already ready to fly... 'run forest! run!!'

hahahah...

the door closed right behind me after i board.

i was the last person boarding, when i'm trying

to find my seat, the cabincrew told me to sit

wherever i want. No one else is boarding anymore.

Ohh dont be so mean sis, u are beautiful enough

without your angry mask on ^^;

And i'm blaming it to you pocketeers :D

for the wonderful run i had last night ^^

beli kasut jogging lah pas nih.

463. Sikat...

Pocketeers,
now tell me,
do i need a comb?
no kan...

same goes to u about those expensive dinner,

handbags that u wore only once.

pumps that cost half of an average operators salary,

and ... 7seater car that can go up to 260km/j

when u only have one kid.

ukur baju badan sendiri okeh..

for pocket... sikat rambut kepala sendiri muahahahah:D

462. hello!

Pocketeers,
Pocket tengah dok gaduh,
Pukul! Tendang! Tarik rambut!
..nasib baik ambut pocket ada
2mili je so xleh tarik. Hoyeah!

Anyway, pernah terpikir tak
mcmmana orang pekak pakai talipon?
Okeh, pekak adalah kata kata kasar
utk orang yg tak dengar cakap.
Jantan yang tak dengar cakap bini
pun buleh di jerit 'oi pekak!' bila
masa dimarahi.

So mari kita sebut betul betul...
'Orang yang kurang deria pendengaran'
kan sopan sikit gitu :D

Orang yang kurang daya pendengaran pakai
gak talipon, sms jer la kan. Tapi make
sure masa sms masuk tu ada lampu nyala.
Kang tak perasan la plak kan.
Ari tu tgk diorang guna vdo call
utk sembang. Besh sgt tgk!
Full of expression.

Er.. orang yang kurang deria pengelihatan
plak macam mana? Takda masalah apa!!?
Asalkan ada button ijau tanda angkat
talipon n button merah tanda letak
talipon sudah la kan.
Buleh je diorang meraba kat mana buttonnya.
Kita yg tak buta ni pun bule sms dengan
mata dok fokus driving.
Inikan plak mereka. Yang sense jari
diorang sensitip telebih lebih tu.
Yes, Mungkin diorang xleh dail,
tapi kalau kita yang talipon dia.
Buleh je sembang.

Soalan.
Kalau touch screen mcm mana orang
'tak nampak' nak angkat talipon?

Ohh.. Pocketeers,
Towards borderless society,
kekalkan talipon ber'button'!