this is gonna sound like a shitpost but the best advice i have if youre consistently coming off wrong is to start talking like an elcor

you will feel like a dumdum at first, but once you get used to it youll realize that telling people what kind of thing you're about to say ahead of time flattens their anxiety a huge amount

ive been starting every question with "question:" for awhile now and i almost never get people reading too much into what i mean anymore

it seems super dumb, but "what are your plans tomorrow?" gets people asking me what i have planned despite me obviously being in the process of figuring that out, whereas "question: what are your plans tomorrow?" gets me a quick rundown of their schedule, followed by "why?"

it also makes it really easy to work tone indicators into your verbal speech. if you're always saying "question: [your question here]?" then no one blinks when you say "genuine question: [question that could read as sarcastic]?"

it also gets you out of your own way for any types of things you struggle to say. "can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?" feels like an argument waiting to happen, but "request: can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?" gets the words flowing on a neutral word while making it clear that you're not looking for a fight

so yeah. suggestion: talk like an elcor

i said "suggestion for you if you havent thought of it:" today so im reblogging this

Useful addition: "this is not a guilt trip or moral judgement, just checking facts: have you done the dishes".

Or "Just checking if I need to, have you done the dishes today"

Or "please do the dishes, Im not upset I just need a plate".

Being clear about your intentions this way also heads off RSD or trauma-type anxiety, guilt, frustration, demand-avoidance, fear, etc.

Another phrasing useful for when you are emotional is "Im definitely frustrated, but Im not frustrated at you because I know you're doing your best."

Of course it only really works if you genuinely mean it.

you get me

Genuine delight: elcor my beloved

the comic for reference:

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We're never getting out of this as long as tumblr keeps trying to be Woke 4chan

Y'all would've loved Susan's Place, good lord.

alright minor pet peeve in the notes of that doctors post. you do know brain damage doesn't mean "becoming stupid" right?

ik it's a joke online to say someone's brain is damaged or whatever but it is an actual medical issue in real life and not that simple

Usually if it hits your frontal lobe, you lose your empathy and become kindof an asshole

absolutely not true. The frontal lobe is for a range of functions, and there’s no singular “empathy center” for the brain. Some people struggle with impulse control or parsing social rules, which can lead to behavior changes, but that doesn’t mean they’re “kind of an asshole.”

also even among people with little to no empathy, it’s still possible to not be an asshole. Empathy doesn’t mean not caring, it means not feeling or not knowing how people feel. It’s not another word for “nice person”

yep and even if you experience emotional empathy, cognitive empathy--which everyone has to learn--is more important in developing prosocial behavior. for example, many people feel uncomfortable seeing a homeless person due to guilt and empathy, but will as a result simply wish they didn't exist in public rather than want to help them. "moral" feelings do not always lead to "good" actions. human psychology is more complicated

cherry, commissioned by @neowatt ☺️

an AMAZING compilation of raw chicken creatures from r/scrungycats

THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS