mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
I think the sandwiches at the 2nd Ave Deli have gotten smaller
I think the sandwiches at the 2nd Ave Deli have gotten smaller
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
I have tried for years to discover something, anything, about this card with no success.
We seven lobsters of Christmastide are Snapping our pincers we wander afar Frowning grimly, wondering dimly Where did we park the car?
The lobster and the crab, when they are full grown
Of all the bugs in the sea, the lobster bears the crown;
The rising of the sun, the wheeling of the gulls,
The playing of the castanets, sweet singing of the choir.
O come, ye crustaceans Rubicund and shining O come ye, o come ye Across the strand.
Come ye, you seven Upright and bipedal O wave your feelers heav'nward O wave your feelers heav'nward O wave your feelers heav'nward Lobsters all.
Away in a desert No ocean in sight The seven red lobsters Were marching upright
The birds in the sky Looked down where they trod The lonely crustaceans All searching for God.
Lobsters from the deepest oceans Now are walking on the land Though they somehow don't leave footprints Still they line up on the sand
Glooooooooooooooria Vagari locusta Glooooooooooooooria Vagari Locusta
Seagulls in the sky abiding Watching now for all they're worth "What has caused these crazed decapods To traverse the barren earth?"
Nephropidae keep their mysteries Frozen solid on the page Evermore their pincers clicking In percussive pilgrimage
Glooooooooooooooria Vagari locusta Glooooooooooooooria Vagari Locusta
Here's something a bit more contemporary.
It was Christmas Eve, babe, In the fish tank. A crayfish said to me, won't see another one. And then he sang a song, 'The Old Bay Seasoning”. I dreamed of the beach, babe, And got to reasoning. I'm gonna have some fun ‘Cos I’m the lucky one. I’m the last in this line And near the water. ‘Cos “Happy Christmas” Means lots of greeting, And lots more eating, So for us it just means slaughter. If I walk like a man And carry a fan, Then I can stay cool Between surf-line and pool. 'Cos if I get spotted Too far up the shore, It’s only drawn butter That’s waiting for me. You were red! I was blue, I looked nothing like you! I got out of the water Before it was hot. The chef’s knife was swinging, The hash it was slinging, So we nipped round a corner And into the night. Now the lads who go out fishing With their nets in Galway Bay Have all returned to port For Christmas Day. You’re a shrimp! You’re a wimp! You’ll evolve to a chimp, Lying there like a crab or a cod on a slab! You look like an oyster! You couldn’t be moister If it rained all the way from your face to your arse! But the lads who do the fishing From those boats on Galway Bay Have docked beside the pier On Christmas Day. You could be quite a dish, But so would any fish, With lots of flavoured creams Piped all around you. I’d rather swim, babe, Deep in the sea, babe, Just you and me, babe, We'll keep well clear of Mayo. And the lads who'd be out fishing In their boats on Galway Bay Are at home and getting drunk This Christmas Day.
Here's the original - warning, contains Language, Imagery, Poetry, Emotion, Adversity, Despair, Hope, Love, Implied Smoking and Artistic Monochrome.
Nollaig Shona daoibh, or the Winter Festival Of Your Preference.
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
Fabric: It's the fabric of our lives™
Montgomery Wards catalog - Fall and Winter 1953-1954
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
Christmas with the Addams Family by Charles Addams
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
Make it a Krapshoot Christmas
There's nothing like the joy of capturing those treasured Christmas moments on film for all eternity, only to find that you've cropped the kids' heads off, left the lens cap on, and forgot to load the camera with film in the first place. Krapshoot can't fix your incompetence, but they can at least make it easier to screw up your snaps.
This year's ad is a send-up of a Kodak ad from 1960, and a company that I've been wanting to parody for several years now. I studied photography in high school, and have had an interest in cameras ever since. Kodak seemed a natural target for the annual Christmas ad, but I hadn't been able to do a parody of them for two reasons.
Normally, I have trouble finding a suitable ad, but this time, I had several potential candidates to choose from; all of them were ideal for editing, but I could only pick one. The other issue was finding a suitable name, something which I'd struggled with. The idea for Krapshoot finally came to me recently, as did the "Return me first!" line. When I look at an ad and instantly think of a parody headline, I know that's the one to go with.
Hopefully, you won't find any Krapshoot gear under your tree this year. If you do, contact your local bomb disposal team at once.
Merry Googiemas!
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
“Merry Crisis & a Happy New Fear”
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
Time, December 24, 1984.
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
“Consume! We need you to get your debt load up”
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley and William Shatner in a recording studio for Star Trek: The Animated Series (1973)
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
Season's Greetings from Hop Harrigan, 1940s.
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
This is how you frame the billionaire agenda.
Social Security and Medicare are paid for, week by week, through payroll contributions.
Elon and Vivek want to steal your contributions.
Americans should be united in fighting for Social Security and Medicare increases.
Republican voters would accept a worse retirement delivered by House Republicans, then focus all their anger on distractions provided by politicians and media.
It is a sick cycle proven to crush the soul of America.
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
"My dad gets perfect pictures every time!" (1940 BBDO ad)
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
Welp. Praise Jesus.
“Can you show me on the doll where Jesus touched you?”
mostlysignssomeportents reblogged
The Talking Heads & Santa 🎅🏻