The Sexual Self

The Sexual Self

This lesson tackles one of the most

crucial aspects of human development,
the sexual self. It highlights biological
and environmental factors that shape
sexual development. Tips on regulating
sexual behaviour are also provided.
Historical
Ancient Greece
Male are dominant and their symbol,  the penis is
viewed as a symbol of fertility.
Women's only function is to bear children.
 
The middle ages
 -Churches have high influence over sexuality
 -Acts that do not lead to procreation are evil
-Women are either "temptress" or a woman of
"virtue". 
The 16th century 

-Movement initiated by martin Luther King,

John Calvin and other protestant leaders
against the roman catholic church.
-Sexual intimacy also strengthens bonds.

The 17th and 18th century 

Puritan rallied to a boar premarital sex and

promote sex after marriage.
Three Phases of Romantic Love
Lust Phase:
-intense craving for sexual contact
Attraction Phase:
-couples are infatuated and
pursue a relationship
Attachment Phase:
-long-term bond between
partners characterized by feelings of security,
comfort and emotional union.
John Lee's Styles of Love

Eros - sexual and emotional.

Agape - altruistic and selfless love.
Stroge - love-related friendship.
Ludus - love is just a game.
Mania - Obsessive and possessive.
Pragma - practical lovers.
The Biology of Self - At birth, the sexual genital (penis
for male, vagina for female) is a biological feature that
distinguishes males from females. Moreover, during
puberty, observable changes in the human body also
known as secondary sexual characteristics begin. When
physiological changes are within the adolescent’s
reproductive system, he or she is likely to experience
sexual urges, become more sensitive to sexual stimuli, and
feel sexual arousal. Humans are likely to engage in sexual
activities to satisfy sexual urges. However, the kind of
sexual activities they engage in may vary. A person should
be aware of his/her sexuality and sexual attributes in
order to make responsible decisions. Adolescents need to
realize the importance of having informed choices.
Sexual Identity and Gender Orientation
Biological sex  is one’s assignment upon birth and is
dependent on physical feature. On the other
hand, gender is an identity that is learned and embraced
by individual.

Gender roles  refer to societal expectations of how men

and women should act. Everyone has a basic idea of
gender roles men are assumed to be strong and
dominant while women are perceived to be submissive
and demure. Sexual identity and gender orientation
underlie one’s concept of self. A person expresses his or
her sexuality through individuality; one’s belief and
behavior lifestyle are based on his or her own perceptions
of sexuality.
The Consequences of Sexual Choices

Sexual intercourse (copulation) is the reproductive act in

which the male organ (penis) enters the female’s
reproductive tract (vagina). Adolescents couples who
engage in sexual intercourse are usually overwhelmed by
the sensations they feel during the act. However, if the
woman is fertile during the time of intercourse,
pregnancy is likely to occur and it lasts approximately
nine months before the birth of the child. Having a child
entails a big responsibility and should not merely be a
consequence of an impulsive moment. Physical risks to
having an early pregnancy may impact an adolescent’s
development, including miscarriage, emotional stress,
and health risks to both mother and infant.
Aside from pregnancy, another consequence of impulsive and
careless sexual intercourse is the risk of acquring sexually-
transmitted diseases (STDs). Among common STDs are:

• Syphilis
• Gonorrhea
• Chlamydia
• Genital Warts

The most alarming sexually transmitted disease is the acquired

immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) caused by the human
immunodeficiency virus (HIV). It can be transmitted by contact
between broken skin, wounds, or mucous membranes and HIV-
infected blood or blood-contaminated body fluids.
It is important that everyone makes responsible decisions with
regard to sexuality and sexual behaviors.

Respect for one’s body. It means taking care of one’s body and
avoiding activities that undermine one’s worth and respect.

Maturity in thoughts and deeds. It refers to being objective,

rational, and calm, instead of being swept by one’s emotion.

Being guided by one’s personal beliefs and core

values. Everyone, especially an adolescent, should always be
grounded by his/her personal principles and self-worth.

Being future-oriented. Instead of focusing on the present, a

person should always weigh his or her present actions with
possible consequences in the future.
The Sexual Self

The most noticeable change as you start adolescence

is physical as a result largely from the secretion of
various hormones which affect virtually every
aspect of an adolescent’s life.

The Sexual Self

Primary Sex
Characteristics:•During puberty sex organs enlarge
and mature. Female reproductive organs ovaries,
fallopian tube, uterus, clitoris, and vagina Male
reproductive organs testes, penis, scrotum, seminal
The Male Reproductive System Testes

The two testes(plural of testis) are

contained in a bag of skin called the
scrotum. They have two functions:1. to
produce sperm2.to make the hormone
testosterone Sperm duct and glands the
sperm passes through the sperm ducts, and
mixes with fluids produced by glands. The
fluids provide the sperm cells with
nutrients. This mixture is called semen.
Spermache - first ejaculation (“wet
dreams”)- usually occurs around the
age of 13, which indicates that the boy
is producing sperm and could fertilize
a female egg through sexual activity.
Ovaries the two ovaries contain eggs. Oviducts Each
ovary is connected to the uterus by an oviduct fallopian
tube. The oviduct is lined with ciliated cells. Every
month, an ovum (egg) develops and becomes mature,
and is released from an ovary.
Uterus and cervix

The uterus is a muscular bag with a soft lining. It is where a

baby develops until its birth. The cervix is a ring of muscle at
the lower end of the uterus. It keeps the baby in place while
the woman is pregnant.
Vagina and urethra

The vagina is a muscular tube that leads from the

cervix to the outside of the woman's body. The
opening to the vagina has folds of skin called labia
that meet to form a vulva. The urethra also opens
into the vulva, but it is separate from the vagina. It
passes
Menarcheurine out of the body from the bladder.

Women's first menstrual period- uterus starts to build

a lining that will later shed through.
Secondary Sex

Physiological signs of sexual maturation that do not

directly involve the sex organs. e.g. the breasts
development for females and the broad shoulders of
males.

Characteristics changes occur at puberty because of the

following: Testosterone(produced by the testes) -
controls the development of male secondary sexual
characteristics estrogen (produced by the ovaries) -
controls the development of female secondary sexual
characteristics.
Sexual self-esteem  influences almost every
sexual decision you make, from who you engage
with and when to whether you constrain yourself
and how.However, very little is known about
sexual self-esteem and who has more or less of
it.

Several studies suggest that lower sexual self-

esteem negatively impacts sexual satisfaction.
Another study, by Hale and Strassberg,
reported the results of an experiment to test the
effects of low sexual self-esteem and showed
that male participants’ sexual arousal was
significantly and negatively affected by poor
sexual self-esteem.
What Is Sexual Self-Esteem

Sexual self-esteem is feeling capable of being involved in

sexual practices with successful procedures and results. Sexual
self-esteem tends to differ with age and one’s partner’s sexual
skills or interest, and it may vary for men and women and across
cultures. Studies also suggest that sexual self-esteem is
negatively affected by variety of life experiences including
 childhood sexual abuse, sexual victimization, physical
disabilities, and health issues. Another study found that sexual
self-esteem is positively associated with general self-esteem.
More broadly, many cultures push us to restrict our thoughts
about sexuality and to develop low sexual confidence. Others tie
sexual self-esteem to ideals of beauty and attractiveness. In turn,
there's always the urge to chase after these ideals. When we
don't succeed, we may experience it as a reflection of our lack
of desirability and develop low self-worth.
Who Has the Highest Levels of Sexual Self-Esteem

Many think that married people have the highest level of

sexual self-worth. After all, the one person they are
with already knows them very well and they likely don't
feel threatened by that person. Competition  is low and
ideals of beauty and attractiveness are fading over time.
Moreover, many cultures sanction and idolize marriages
and it only makes sense that married people would feel
better about themselves. However, my new finding
suggest that this is not the case when it comes to sexual
self-esteem. Research findings indicate that married
people have lower levels of sexual self-esteem than almost
all groups measured.
Seven relationship-status groups were included in
this study: married individuals, who comprise the
largest group of the sample (57.4%); never-
married single (14%); never-married individuals
who have a partner but they live apart (4.3%),
never-married individuals who cohabit with their
partner (13.1%); divorced separated single
(5.3%), divorced/separated individuals who have
a partner but they live apart (2.7%), and divorced
separated who currently cohabit with their partner
(3.3%). The results are striking.
 In terms of sexual self-esteem, men who were
divorced/separated and living apart from a partner
and never-married cohabiting men were
comparable to married men, while only never-
married cohabiting women showed lower ratings
than married women. The detailed and rich data of
the Pairfam survey show that even singles who
have never been married tend to report higher
levels of sexual self-esteem.
Why Married People Have Lower
Levels of Sexual Self-Esteem
As in my other post on sexual communication
skills , we can only speculate about why
married people showed lower levels of sexual
self-esteem than most groups. One possibility is
that sexual self-esteem levels work in reverse:
People with lower sexual self-esteem may be
more likely to marry. They might be motivated
in part by wanting to feel safer and to cover for
their lower sexual self-esteem.
Sexual Self
Image
What Is It?
Gila Shipiro  (a psychotherapist and certified sex
therapist) defines sexual self-esteem as “the feelings
you have about your body and your confidence level
in how you relate intimately to someone else. It’s
what you bring of yourself, both emotionally and
physically, to sex and relationships what you do with
that and how you share that with someone else.
Sexual self-esteem affects every sexual choice you
make.
What’s Different Now
Typically, people don’t think about how they developed
their sense of sexuality, it just happens through your lived
experience. Most people don’t realize the importance of
the different components that shape your own identity until
a major life event happens. This event can impact things
such as not being able to go to your favourite restaurant
because it is inaccessible, not being able to hug your kids
or your partner because of limited arm function, not being
able to go back to the same job and feeling like you can’t
provide for your family, or even just looking in the mirror
and seeing a different body than you are used to seeing.
What Can I Do
Finding things that give you control of your life and give
you a sense of accomplishment, purpose, responsibility,
and routine can help boost your confidence and
motivation. This means finding a reason to get up and get
out into the world every day. This can include a hobby, a
job, a volunteer role, schooling, an exercise program,
social activities, whatever you want.
What Do I Need To Know?
The path everyone takes will look
different and everyone will build
their confidence in their own way.
Finding the resources that are
available to you in your area and
how to access them is an important
place to begin. 
My Role
The process of regaining your sexual self-view,
self-confidence, and boosting your self-esteem can
seem very overwhelming at the beginning. These
feelings are common especially soon after injury.
To gain a better understanding of yourself and get
back in touch with yourself takes time, a sense of
openness, and support from peers, family, friends
and health care professionals. But ultimately, no
one can do this for you it’s up to you to start the
process.