Table of Contents

Introduction: My Freelancing Dad Story 1

Step 1: Figure Out Your Life and Business Priorities 5

Step 2: Create a Financial Plan 8

Step 3: Time Management and Scheduling 14

Step 4: Decide on the Core Service Offering 18

Step 5: Build Your First Portfolio and Decide a Rate 21

Step 6: Improve Your Communication and Sales Skills 24

Step 7: Get Yourself Out There and Find Your First Clients 28

Step 8: Managing Work/Family Life Under The Same Roof 32

BONUS: Create Content to Demonstrate Your Expertise 37

 1

INTRODUCTION

My Freelancing Dad Story

I’ve been a freelancing Dad since I graduated college. My wife got

pregnant within a few weeks of me graduating. I was enthusiastic about
the career before me. I had my new shiny degree, and I was qualified to
get a great job. It was time to start a family!
Well, at least I thought my career was off to a good start when I
found a full-time assistant video editing job for a local production
company. I was earning $12/hour, which felt like a lot to me since I was
used to earning $9.00 with my student jobs. We only had one car, and my
wife worked then, so I took the train to work. It was about an hour total in
commuting time. I worked 40 hours per week in a dark room, and spent
an additional 10 hours per week commuting.
4 months of that was enough for me to quit. Some people are fine
with that type of job. I quickly realized that I was not. I wanted to be home
more. I wanted more time with my wife, especially with our first child on
the way. But I didn’t quit without any other prospects. I actually started
freelancing on the side for about 2 months before I quit. I had one client
who was local, who found me through a mutual connection. They needed
a part-time videographer, only for a few hours per week.
But what motivated me to quit was that freelancing client offering
me a full-time job for $20/hour. That was a definite upgrade. So I took it. 5
months into that job and everything was going well, until they had to let
me go because their company hit a rough patch and needed to downsize.
I was not the most important employee. Many aren’t. So I lost my job 3
months before my first child was born.
To say I was terrified and frustrated was an understatement. I had
the thought to just freelance after my first job, but was seduced by the
prospect of full-time, “secure” work with benefits. It was a step in the right
direction though because that job allowed me to work at home. So, I did
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enjoy more time with my family and more flexibility. But I still didn’t have
anywhere near the control you have when freelancing.
So there I was, jobless and 3 months away from becoming a dad.
I felt ashamed and burdened. My wife had quit her job 2 months prior to
me losing mine because we decided that we wanted her to stay at home
with our kids instead of work. She wanted to be a stay-at-home mom
rather than have to work and I wanted to provide that. But I failed. I was
feeling depressed, but I was also feeling motivated to attempt actual
freelancing.
I realized how insecure an employee job actually is. I realized how
limiting that type of job is in your progression. If you’re committed enough
to one company, you can work your way up into higher paying leadership
positions, but you’re still giving up a lot of time to your job and the pay
increase is very gradual. Losing all my income in a single blow was
something I never wanted to experience again. So I thought, “maybe it’s
more secure to diversify my employment, to not put all my eggs in one
basket, and to have multiple sources of income from multiple clients.” And
I can tell you that I have proven that original theory true with my own
experience building up my freelance business. I got my confidence back,
jumped on the white horse, and became a freelancer, ready to save my
family from sudden doom.

9 months later…

$10,000 in credit card debt. Regular overdraft fees. Sparse clients.

Undercharging for my services. It was not going well. I had no idea what I
was doing. There were many weaknesses holding me back; lack of sales
skills, lack of communication skills, lack of business knowledge and more.
I only had 2 regular clients, one of them being my previous employer.
They couldn’t afford me as an employee, but they could pay me for a few
hours per week of work. However, that wasn’t enough.
When I thought all hope was lost, my previous employer offered
me another job. Their business had bounced back a bit. And they offered
me an extra $5.00 an hour to bring my salary to $25.00 an hour. I had a
family to support, so I took it. There was some internal conflict knowing
deep down that freelancing was truer to how I wanted to work, but the
financial stress of not earning enough money overpowered my desire to
 3
freelance. I felt like at least with this company I could still work at home.
So, this new opportunity was a bit of a hybrid of what I wanted.
My wife and I both felt relieved, yet conflicted. We finally had
consistent income, but would it last?
A year into this new job, I knew I had to try freelancing again. My
wife is the one who actually brought it up. Throughout that year, I had a
couple of odd gigs on the side, and I always enjoyed feeling like a
freelancer in those moments. So, I quit my salary job. At least I didn’t wait
to get fired again this time, right? It was scary, but I knew I was doing the
right thing.
It’s important to note that I had two freelance clients before I quit
my job, so I recommend building up somewhat of a clientele on the side
before quitting your job so that you aren’t without income for a few
months. If you have a lot of money in savings, then you could quit before
finding clients, but it’s still risky because you don’t really know how long it
will take you to find those first clients. It all depends on your learning
curve with developing the right skills.
This time though, I approached things differently. Instead of
thinking I knew what I was doing, I decided I didn’t know what I was
doing. The first time around, I thought because I was such a good
videographer and editor that I would have no problem finding clients. Oh
how wrong I was! Yes, you must have a marketable skill that someone is
willing to pay you for, but that’s only the baseline. The skills I did not have
that were key to finding clients and building my business were sales skills,
certain communication skills, time management skills, marketing
knowledge, and business operations knowledge.
So, I bought books, took courses, and hired mentors in each of
the areas that I was struggling in. I did a very thorough audit of myself to
determine my weaknesses. Then, I asked for help from people who had
strengths in those areas. There are so many opportunities today to get
education affordably online, in books, courses, and through hiring
mentors. I did have to invest around $2,000 to develop the sales skills,
specifically because I went through an intensive program to gain the skills
fast. And I made that money back within 2 months, then I tripled my
income within 3 months because of that investment. I also hired a mentor,
which always will cost the most, but can sometimes fast track your skill
development. If you are not financially able to get intensive training, there
 4
are plenty of cheaper yet more gradual options for developing the right
skills.
If you’re in a very financially tight situation, then I recommend
keeping your current job so that you can produce income from something,
while learning and developing these skills over time. This way, you don’t
have to invest as much money all at once, and you can gradually
transition. Read some books and take online courses.

In this book, I’m going to walk you through 8 steps to building up

your freelance business to the point where you are earning the money
you need to support your family. I’m not teaching you how to become a
millionaire through freelancing. But I will teach you how to earn enough
money to live comfortably and modestly, so that you can provide for your
family’s needs and wants. For me personally, a comfortable living is
between $100k-200k/year. So, that’s the range I’m teaching you to
achieve. And the key to all of this is being able to achieve this success
without compromising your family time. You will be able to have work-life
balance throughout the whole process, not just once you achieve a
certain income level.
And this book is not meant to give you everything you need to
know to go from A-Z, because that would be impossible in one short
book. It’s a process that takes time and education in many areas, but this
book will set you on the right track with the initial essentials. It will give
you a head start. It will lay the foundation for your success as a
freelancing parent.
 5
Step 1: Write Down Your Life and Business
Priorities

I’ve made plenty of mistakes when building my freelance business

from home, but one thing I did right was get my priorities straight from the
beginning.

What matters most to you?

I knew what mattered most to me when I started freelancing, and

that was my wife and kids. I was determined to figure out how to become
successful without sidelining them, without missing out on time with them.
Children grow up so fast. My first baby is already 5, and I’m grateful that
I’ve been around for these first 5 years to see him grow. I’m grateful I
didn’t miss out on his first time attempting to walk or his first words. How
did I not miss out? For one, I worked at home, so it was easy to take
breaks and spend time with my family. Two, I’ve never worked more than
30 hours in a week since I started freelancing. Now I only work 20-25
hours per week.
If you don’t have your priorities straight going into the process of
building a business, you’ll burn out, and burn your most important
relationships. You’ll lose your health. You’ll lose the things that actually
matter. And you’ll be deceived because you’ll be thinking the whole time
that you’re working 60-hour weeks for your family. You’ll think that it’s
because of them that you’re gone all the time, that you’re working all the
time, so you can provide a comfortable life for them. But what that type of
entrepreneur is forgetting is that all their family really wants is them, even
if that means living in a small apartment their whole life. The time you
have with your children is very small. Don’t lose sight of what matters
most.

To help you to write down your priorities, I’ll give you mine as an
example so you can see how I stacked them:
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1. My relationship with my wife and children (which requires
time with them and attention).
2. The operations of my home, which ties into family but goes
beyond just my relationship with them, and includes
managing systems and routines within the home so that
our family can function and thrive in our space.
3. My health. This one is connected to the previous priority of
home systems because how we eat and take care of
ourselves is a part of those routines and systems, but it’s
important to separate it here to know that it is its own
category. It is important to focus on your health or you
don’t get to enjoy your life nor can you focus well on your
business. Health includes physical, mental, emotional and
spiritual health.
4. My career and business
5. Other relationships outside the home with friends and other
family.
6. Personal hobbies and interests

“Your business is number four?” I’ve had those priorities since I

first started freelancing and I’ll admit, at times when I wasn’t earning any
money, it was tempting to compromise those priorities; to reduce my
sleep, eat unhealthy food, work long hours, all because my family needed
money to eat! It was all about them! But I didn’t let go of those priorities
because I wrote them down and my wife was in on it. I gave myself a max
amount of hours, and at first, my max was 35 hours, which was closer to
a typical full-time job yet still reasonable enough to have decent time with
my family. Right away, I knew that I needed to work less in order to have
the true work-life balance that my family and I wanted. So, my goal was to
work towards only having to work 20-25 hours per week, and it took about
a year to get there. But I never went over my max.
My rule was that, if my business demanded 40 hours one week,
then I worked 30 the next so that it averaged out. That never actually
happened. I gave myself a month to accomplish 35 per week as the
average, and I actually never went over 35 in any given week. If I hit 35,
that was considered a really busy week for me.
 7
Something amazing happened because of that time limit I put on
myself. I learned focus skills and prioritizing skills very quickly. Because I
knew I didn’t have unlimited hours to work to build my business, I had to
be very productive in the hours I did work. It forced me to really focus on
the most essential business growth activities and not get distracted by
things that weren’t important enough. That is one benefit you’re
guaranteed to receive from putting pressure on the hours you decide to
work each week.
Another lesson I learned is that by putting my family, home, and
health first, I was able to perform better in my work. My mind was clear
and focused, my body felt good, so I was able to develop skills faster,
skills that I needed to succeed. I’ve heard of many entrepreneurs who
ended up in the hospital with debilitating diseases because they
overworked, thinking that if they didn’t, they wouldn’t succeed. Being the
one who works the most hours does not make you the winner. You might
have some artificial success pop up, and you might even make some
good money, but it won’t come easy and you’ll lose what matters most.
Many entrepreneurs have ended up divorced and sick because they
didn’t establish those priorities from the beginning. And is that true
success? No. No, it’s not.
And I discovered a truth, that when you don’t put what matters
most first, you actually struggle more to succeed in your career and
business. The underlying stress of your important relationships not being
in order will sabotage your business success and cause you stress that
clutters your mind.
Now is the time for you to write your definition of success on
paper. My definition mimics my priorities. It includes having successful
relationships with my family first, having my health, then having career
success and money. If my home is falling apart, no amount of money can
fix that. And a lack of money does not have to cause chaos in the home.
If your family is united in your business goals, then even when you’re on
the learning curve and barely making enough to pay your bills, your wife
and kids will be on your side, cheering you on and having hope that you
will succeed.
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Step 2: Create a Financial Plan and Change
Your Perspective of Money
Now that you have your priorities straight, have a meeting with
your wife and create a financial plan. Even if she isn’t working, she MUST
be a part of your financial planning and goals. We made the mistake of
my wife taking a back seat with our finances because she wasn’t working.
That didn’t work out so well.

1. First, assess where you’re currently at. Do you have debt?

How much? How much money is in your bank accounts?
What’s your current income? Know all your numbers.
2. Create financial priorities. Just like you created general life
priorities in step 1, create priorities specifically for how you
will spend your money. This is where many couples tend to
disagree, so keep talking until you come to a compromise.
Luckily, my wife and I have always had very similar
spending habits on what we think is worth buying. Part of
these priorities will include working through any financial
problems you have or goals you want to achieve.

Here’s an example of what my financial priorities were, in order,

back when I started my freelance business. Not getting into any further
debt (we held this for 6 months before moving onto the next step), saving
a $1,000 emergency fund, paying off credit card debt, paying off our car
loan, saving a bigger emergency fund to cover 3 months of expenses,
paying down student loans, and house savings. So once we finished one,
then we could move onto the other. My wife and I were in total agreement
with these priorities. You must get to that point where your goals are
aligned.

3. Map out long-term financial goals. Your priorities in the

previous step usually just extend through the next year or
so, and you should be revisiting those every time you
check off a step. But where do you want to be financially
many years down the road? What does retirement look
 9
like? How do you want to live as your family grows and
what will that cost? Make sure you and your wife are on
the same page about these goals. Too many couples have
different financial goals, but had no idea the other person
disagreed because they didn’t talk about it.

4. Create a budget so you know the minimum income you

need to avoid debt. Also, cut out unnecessary expenses.
Along with this, create a way to track your spending in
order to stay under budget. For me, I downloaded a cheap
app onto my phone that tracks my weekly spending. Every
time a single dollar is spent, I subtract it from that app so I
know how much money is left for that week. And my wife is
always aware of where we’re at, so if she has ideas of
things she wants or needs to buy, we have to talk about it
to make sure it’s a priority. We still use that app today.
Dumb millionaires stop budgeting. Smart ones realize that
budgeting isn’t just for the poor, it’s for everyone, because
it’s simply just telling your money where to go. Without a
budget, you aren't being responsible with your money and
it can slip through your fingers.

5. Brainstorm the easiest sources of immediate income. If

you don’t have savings, then you need a reliable source of
income while you’re building up your freelance business.
That can be different freelance work or a normal job, part-
time or full-time, whatever will pay your bills.

6. Create a rough timeline of when you hope to achieve each

of the steps in your financial priorities. Base this timeline
off the income you know you currently have, not what you
hope to earn next month. You’ll get to keep adjusting your
timeline as your income increases.

It’s VERY difficult to build a business if you’re strapped for money

to pay your bills. You will feel desperate, and you will come across as
desperate to potential clients, which will turn them off. For me, my reliable
 10
source of income while I built my freelance business was through a client
that was paying me as an independent contractor, but I had worked for
them as an employee, so the job was fairly reliable and consistent. I
ended up having about 20 hours per week of work to do for them, so it
was as if I had an employee part-time job but I was able to negotiate just
being paid as an independent contractor, which was great.
This initial source of income needs to be what will make you
money the quickest, not what will make you the most money over time.
For now, you need what will pay your bills or you can’t focus on growing
your business.

What is your definition of money?

Now that you have a financial plan, you must examine your
psychology around money. You likely have some bad definitions of
money that are sabotaging your ability to earn enough of it. I did. We
come from a society that has many sour perspectives of what money is
and whether it’s good or bad. We grow up watching our parents talk either
positively or negatively about money, and then we take on their money
perspective. I always saw money as a source of contention growing up.
Either there wasn’t enough, or there wasn't any agreement on what to do
with it.
This is how I defined money: unnecessary, causes contention,
hurts relationships, causes greed, there isn’t enough for everyone, money
is what provides security and safety and money creates unfairness. So, of
course I wouldn’t want any of it, right? In my conscious mind, of course I
wanted more money but subconsciously, I saw it as a bad thing so I was
pushing it away. I was creating my reality to mirror my definition of
money. I unconsciously avoided developing certain skills that would earn
me more money, even if I thought I was trying hard to earn money. What
are your beliefs about money?
A discovery I made with the help of talking with my wife, was that
my relationships with my family is what gave me security and safety, not
money. I was determined to provide security and safety for myself and my
family and I believed that money was THE thing that would provide that.
That stressed me out and it stressed my wife out. My ability to earn
money unlocked when I got rid of that belief and replaced it with that idea
 11
that my relationships provide security. And I literally had to tell myself that
phrase every day for weeks until it started to stick in my mind. I even
recorded my own voice, saying that affirmation that my relationships
provide security, and I listened to it as I was falling asleep. You can say I
brainwashed myself into changing my definitions of money. And I had a
whole list of different phrases that summed up my new definition of
money.
This is something you’ll need to think about for a few days. You
likely aren’t immediately aware of how you see money. Write down your
current definition of money. Then on a different paper, write down your
new definition of money. What do you want to believe about money even
if you don’t believe it now?
I want to share some ideas for what the new definition could be
that I know will help you earn more money and be a better manager of it,
so you can support your family in the way that you want. I’ll list phrases I
used to redefine my perception of money that ultimately stopped my self-
sabotage and allowed me to develop the skills that led to more money.
But let me clarify. My brainwashing of my beliefs about money did not
magically bring me more money, but it unlocked my desire and ability to
focus on developing the skills that I needed to earn more money. You
don’t just tell yourself, “Money is good, I want to earn more” and it shows
up. But when you change your beliefs about it, your behavior changes.
When you mix that with new education on how to earn money, then you’ll
be able to convert that education into skills, which then turns into action
and then results (actual money). When I changed my beliefs about
money, within weeks I was inspired to look for certain resources that led
to me finding education and mentors that taught me skills I needed to
learn. This led to my earning more money a couple months later.

What I Now Believe About Money:

There is enough money and enough resources for everyone.

Money is key to a free economy, which relies on the free exchange of
goods and services so that everyone can live higher quality lives.
Because of money, I can specialize in a few areas of expertise and I can
help others. Then, I rely on others to specialize in different areas that help
me.
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Money is neither good nor evil. Instead, it’s a neutral tool that people can
use for good or bad.
Money is something people don’t only deserve after decades of hard work
and 40+ hour weeks. It’s okay to have a high income early in my life as
long as I’m obtaining that income honestly.
I deserve money.
I am comfortable receiving and handling large sums of money.
I have plenty of money, and more is on the way.
It’s okay for me to surpass my parents income.
I account for my expenses and track every dollar because I value and
respect money.
I am in tune with what my priorities need to be regarding how to spend my
money wisely and responsibly, which is always in alignment with what will
provide the greatest good for me and my family.
I am in control of my money.
I believe that connections with people is the key to creation, not money.
Money is a tool that shows up along the way to support and assist us in
creating.
My emotions are not attached to my money. I do not have a love of
money. My money does not influence my emotions. I am emotionally
neutral towards money itself.
I will obtain money fairly, and without hurting or deceiving anyone.
My money will always show up as a result of an equal exchange, and the
person giving me the money feels that they received equal to or more in
value than they invested.
The money I receive is not mine to keep, it’s mine to give, first to my
family, and then to others.
I am creating large sums of money, and with that money, I enrich my life
and the lives of others.
I am wealthy and I have strong, healthy relationships with my family and
others.
There is always more money coming in than going out.

True wealth isn’t just having money, it’s having the right
perspective of money and having success in the other life priorities.
These new beliefs and affirmations addressed all my old concerns about
money. I recorded myself saying these, and then listened to it every night
 13
for weeks. I also said them outloud in the morning. Then things started to
change. I felt more motivated to develop certain skills that were out of my
comfort zone. I was inspired with ideas on how to grow my business and
where to connect with certain mentors who would teach me how to sell
and how to grow a business. Within a month of me writing my new
definition of money, I was connected to the educational and training
resources I needed to succeed. Then, 4 months into getting educated, my
numbers started to go up. I was finding new clients. I knew how to sell my
services. I knew how to manage my business better. I knew how to pitch
myself and market my business. I found my voice.

Stop getting paid for your time. Get paid for results.

This personal development mindset stuff is important but it’s part

of the formula. It makes it easier to do all the other things that actually
bring you the income you want. A primary aspect of unlocking your ability
to earn more money is to get out of the employee mindset of getting paid
for your time. As a freelancer, you’re getting paid for the results you
provide your clients. If you spend 1 hour doing a project, and they pay
you $300.00, but your client feels that what you did for them is worth
$300.00, then you have no reason to feel guilty that you earned that much
in an hour.
I’ve had projects where I earned $300.00 per actual work hour, but
the result the client got in their business earned them far more than
$300.00 in return, so it was a good investment for them. You now own a
business, and you need to make a profit, so you must start training your
brain to be okay with earning much more per hour than you think you
deserve. As long as the client is satisfied with what they received from
you in exchange for what they paid you, then it was an honest and moral
transaction.
You also need to realize that they aren’t just paying you for the
one hour you spent fixing their problem, they’re paying for the 10 hours
they did not have to spend to figure out how to fix the problem themselves
because instead, they just hired you as an expert to fix it faster. You likely
spent hundreds of hours developing the skill that led to you being able to
perform the task in one hour, so now you’re getting back paid for all that
time.
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Step 3: Improve Your Time Management Skills
and Create a Work/Life Schedule

If you can’t manage your time, you can’t manage your life. There
is nothing more foundational to our success as human beings than
understanding time. It’s the only resource that will run out. Money can be
spent and more can show up. Trees can be cut down and more planted.
But time is scarce. Managing your time is key to you thriving as a
freelancing parent because nothing demands more of your time than your
kids.
So how do you make time for your business and your family? I
can only speak from the experience of being married and raising kids with
a spouse. I can’t imagine being a single parent and working, but that’s
when you have to get help from other people. Your kids have to be
supervised by someone. What I teach in this book will definitely help
single parents, because I imagine they would love to only have to work 20
hours per week and still earn enough money to provide for their kids. But
just know that my experience with figuring out how to manage my time is
in the context of my wife being at home and not working. I’m grateful that
we can be our kids' babysitters and their educators.

Before you can really start putting in time to business building

activities, you need to establish a schedule.

Your family needs to know when you’ll be working each day and
week. Your kids need you to be consistent with your work schedule so
that they can let you work, knowing that after a certain time, you’ll be
done. If you just work whenever and at all hours of the day and night,
whenever you can squeeze it in, your kids will continually pester you for
attention. Even though you work at home for yourself, you need to treat
yourself like an employee when it comes to your schedule. You need to
have consistent work hours.
First, figure out how many hours per week you need to work to be
successful at building your business without compromising family time.
For me, it was 35 at first, and then 30, and then 20-25. That’s what gave
 15
me the best work-life balance. Then, decide how many days during the
week you want to work. For me, I like working Monday-Thursday and then
having 3-day weekends. Then you must decide how many hours you’re
working during those days and at what time blocks during the day you’re
putting those hours in. Type all this up, print it out, and hang it up
somewhere in your house where everyone in your family can see it.
Discuss it first with your wife to make sure that your schedule works with
the family schedule and accommodates your family’s needs. In your
family, you might be better off working 4 hours per day, 6 days per week,
instead of 6 hours per day, 4 days per week. You and your wife must
decide what will work best for your family.
Keep in mind though, that most of your clients are working in
typical businesses that have normal business hours. So, if you’re trying to
coordinate meetings and other communication with clients, but you only
work at nights and weekends, you’ll struggle to find clients who want to
work with you. That’s why for the most part, my work days are the same
as most people, but I take a longer weekend. And for you, it’s likely
easiest to just work during normal work days as well, because your
friends and other family members are usually off on the weekends, so it’s
easier to coordinate other life activities when you just stick to typical
business hours.
When I first started building my freelance business, I worked
whenever. I didn’t have a set schedule, and it was much harder for me to
set boundaries with my kids. It was much harder on my wife too, never
knowing when I was supposed to be working, so she couldn’t really help
with keeping kids occupied when I needed to focus. Also, my first son
would interrupt me a lot more because he didn’t know when he would
have time with me.
It’s amazing how well young children understand time before they
can actually tell time. My son is 5 years old now, and he still doesn’t quite
know how to track time or use a clock, but he subconsciously knows
when I’m supposed to be done with work each day. He’s crazy accurate.
Right around 4-4:30pm when I am scheduled to finish work, he always
shows up in my office wanting me to play. And even on Fridays, he knows
that I’m not supposed to be working Friday through Sunday, even though
he doesn’t fully understand how to use a calendar. It proves that we do
have internal clocks whether we’re conscious of it or not. So, don’t think
 16
because your kids are still young that they won’t respect your schedule.
Their brains love it when you’re consistent. Why? Because they know that
they are also a part of that schedule.
My son knows that in the morning for breakfast and during my
lunch break and after 4pm, he’ll get to have time with me. He knows that
Friday through Sunday he’ll get to have time with me, so he’s not as
anxious to bother me while I’m working to demand that time. There are
still occasional moments when he tries to convince me not to work during
my work hours, but it’s not nearly as frequent as it used to be. And even
when he does try, he backs off much quicker and moves on once I tell
him I have to work. And I tell him how much more time I have left. He
can’t tell time mathematically, but when I tell him I have one more hour, it
puts a limit on my work and that satisfies him.
There’s also the logistical necessity of your wife knowing when
you’re working so that other life events, appointments, and errands can
be planned around that. Do not procrastinate creating your work
schedule. The sanity of your family depends on it.

Now that you have a schedule, how do you ensure that you use the
time you have blocked out wisely so that you produce results in
your business?

It may sound cliché, but you better have to do lists. I use an app
that allows me to set up different lists, one for client work, one for
prospecting, and one for administrative activities. Then, I prioritize the
most important tasks on top, and put the rest in order. I will then schedule
those tasks into specific days throughout the week. If I don’t finish certain
tasks on a Monday, those become the top priority for Tuesday. These
lists also help me to stay on track when there are interruptions because of
working at home. Some people are naturally To-Do list people, while
others aren’t. If you are not, you better become one or you won't find the
success you’re hoping for. And you will struggle in your family
relationships because you’ll see them as a bother to your work.
Time management skills are mainly focus skills. Your ability to
focus is what determines how well you use your time to produce results.
As a result, it’s important that you start practicing focus exercises. One
that I like is journaling. One major threat to focus is when our minds are
 17
full of clutter, worries, anxieties, negative thoughts, and other concerns.
Get in the habit of writing everything down that is in your head, whether
it’s on your phone, computer, or even by hand. Journaling isn’t just about
writing an account of your day, it’s about just getting what’s in your head
out, so you can think more clearly. If it’s a family problem you’re trying to
brainstorm a solution for, then get out your thoughts whenever they pop
up.
Sometimes, I’ve had to pause what I was doing in my work and
take 5 minutes to empty my head of random thoughts about life, my wife,
kids, or other concerns. After that, I could get back to work and focus.

The ones who can focus the best will get paid the most. It’s a
huge selling point in your services to have uncommonly strong focus
skills. It allows you to produce work faster without compromising quality,
which means you can earn more money in less time. Improving my focus
skills was key to me being able to get my work schedule down to 20-25
hours per week and still earn over six-figures.
Another exercise that is helpful to do every so often, is to go to a
place in nature where you’re far enough away from “people noise.” If you
can’t get to a location like that, then just go outside somewhere. Secluded
nature is the best because nature can teach us a lot about focusing. But
you’ll still be able to train your brain in any location, with a variety of
sounds. In that location, pick a sound that keeps occurring, close your
eyes, and focus on it. Ignore everything else. Just track and focus that
one sound. Try to maintain your focus on that sound for one minute, then
do the exercise again, but hold your focus for 3 minutes, then 5, then 10.
The goal is to get to 10 minutes without getting distracted by other
sounds.
This simple technique is really effective at training your brain to
focus on one thing at a time. This skill will enhance your ability to build
your business faster. It’ll also help you better tune out noise in your house
from kids. It’ll help you work in any location, regardless of the other
sounds and distractions.
It’s time for you to improve the relationship you have with time. It’s
time to get a handle on your time. It’s time for you to create a schedule
and learn how to focus. Only then are you ready to succeed as a
freelancing Dad.
 18
Step 4: Decide on Your Core Service Offering

Now that you have your foundations in place for a successful

work-at-home career while raising a family, it’s time to work on the actual
business. What are you selling as a service? You may already have an
idea of what your core offering is, but this chapter will help you audit
whether you’re starting with the right skill or need to modify your strategy.
This section will also help those that have no idea yet what to do as a
freelancer.
If you want to earn money as a freelancer, you must have a
marketable skill that someone else is willing to pay you for. If you’re great
at doing puzzles, but nobody wants to pay you to do a puzzle for them,
then you won’t make any money off that skill. So, how do you know if the
skill you have is sellable? Most skills freelancers think to use are
marketable, but some pay better than others. If you’re struggling to come
up with ideas, I encourage you to read my blog post on 150 Freelance
Jobs You Can Do From Home.
Depending on the industry you’re in, it’ll take a little time to learn
about the various degrees of work you could do and what pays more than
another. For example, I started out as a freelance video editor, but my
hourly income started to cap around $75, and it was harder to find clients
above that amount because there were many skilled video editors
charging that same amount or less. So, I decided to transition into video
marketing, where instead of editing the videos, I was the strategist behind
coming up with ideas for production and marketing them. That was a
higher value, higher paying job.
If you’re passionate about what you’re doing, and you don’t see
yourself enjoying moving up into higher level consulting positions, then
you can still make a decent living with your craft. But it’ll take some time
to establish yourself as the best. Higher end, larger company clients are
willing to pay more for a true expert writer or video editor. And you could
get over $100.00 per hour with those crafts, but you need to work really
hard to separate yourself from the vast pool of other freelancers doing the
same thing.
Supply and demand is the next determining factor. There definitely
needs to be a demand for the service you’re providing, but if you want to
 19
get paid more and have an easier time finding clients, you want to be
doing something where there is a lower supply of freelancers to choose
from. Skills that require more intense education and take longer to
develop tend to pay more because there ends up being fewer freelancers
that commit long enough to develop that skill. High end IT and computer
programming jobs pay higher because they require a lot of math and
computer science skills that take longer to develop than learning how to
edit videos does.
Do your research on what types of jobs companies are posting.
Just do a search on platforms like Upwork, where companies are posting
jobs for freelancers. See what types of jobs are posted and what budget
most of the clients are hoping to stick to. Start brainstorming ideas of
where you fit into the freelancing world. And don’t get discouraged by how
many freelancers seem to be doing a certain thing. If you’re passionate
about it, go after it, and become the best. The best doesn’t just include
your craft, it includes your communication, time management and
business skills.
To get your business going, it’s best to center your core service
around skills you already have so that you don’t have to wait to develop
new skills. You can always evolve and change your services down the
road, but you need to go after the low hanging fruit. What skill can you
convert into income the quickest? Video editing was mine. I have been
making videos since I was 12. I didn’t want to be a video editor the rest of
my life. I prefer producing and directing, which is what I do now. But I
needed to start with something that I already had experience in.
And when it comes time to evolve into a different service, you
want to choose something that is similar enough or at least in the same
industry so that you can use your past experience in the first thing to get
clients for the next thing. When I started searching for video marketing
clients, I would talk about how as a video editor, I was often a part of the
strategy conversations, and I contributed ideas on what to create and how
to distribute it.
With this step, it’s best to pick one thing and stay very niche with
it. Don’t pitch yourself as a video editor/photographer/writer/website
designer. You won’t be perceived as an expert when your skillset looks
diluted by too many things. Focus on one core service for a while before
expanding. For me, when I started expanding, I didn’t keep video editing,
 20
but I hired a video editor to be on my team. Building a team for your
freelance business is something we won’t get into in this book, and it may
or may not be something you’ll be interested in doing. But just know that it
is one way for you to scale your business once your own hours are
maxed out.
Deciding on a core service to start with relies mostly on research.
Search online on websites like Fiverr and Upwork to see what types of
freelance jobs other people are doing, and you’ll be able to view these
freelancer profiles to see if they’re getting regular work, which will give
you an indication of demand. Also, reviewing job posts on these sites will
indicate demand. If you can find something that aligns with skills you
already have and those skills are in demand, but there isn’t a huge
freelancer supply focusing on just that, make that your first pursuit. I
found a lot of success when I decided to focus on just being a YouTube
Strategist. I didn’t even start by focusing on video marketing in general, I
narrowed down into that single platform. And I’m glad that I did, because
that niche helped me to stand out and find clients.
There were a lot of video editors and overall marketers looking for
work, but there were very few YouTube experts, yet businesses were
looking for those people. That helped me to not only find clients easier,
but to charge more because of the lack of freelancers focusing on the
same thing. Go after the low hanging fruit to get your business going
before thinking about how you want to evolve and scale into other areas.
And remember, most of the time, companies look to hire freelancers
because they want a specialist who focuses primarily on one thing. If they
want to hire a “jack of all trades” then they usually will just hire an
employee.
There are a lot of marketing managers and marketing directors as
employees, but very few video content marketing managers as
employees because it’s so focused on one thing. One main reason is that
I don’t need to put in more than a few hours per week to focus on that one
thing for a client, so they don’t even have the option to hire an employee
to fill that position because they wouldn’t be able to give them enough
hours.
 21
Step 5: Build Your First Portfolio and Decide
on a Starting Rate

To find that first client, you need something to prove that you have
the skill you say you have. Getting started is the hardest part because
many prospective clients want to see evidence of past work, along with
the results you’ve achieved for others. And you don’t have that yet.
Instead, you must dig up anything you can find that proves your worth.
The first thing you need to understand about the first few clients is
that there are clients out there who are willing to pay for a beginner. They
are willing to hire someone who doesn’t have a huge portfolio or resume
yet. They are willing to take a chance on you. They exist. I found them.
I’m grateful for those first few clients that were willing to take a risk on me.
The reason why they were willing to take that risk is because one, I
charged lower than an experienced expert would, BUT I did not charge
too low.
A big mistake beginner freelancers make is that they charge
$15/hour thinking that it makes them more competitive, but most clients
just see that as, “oh they must not be that good.” Don’t think for a second
that you need to compete your rate with freelancers in other countries
who have a lower living cost and can charge less. A higher rate
communicates higher value. But, you must also have the resume to back
up that rate, so you can’t start too high or you’ll also struggle to convince
people to hire you. We’re not diving too deep into rates in this book, but I
wanted to just mention the importance of finding the right balance with
your starting rate.
I can’t give you an exact number because it totally depends on
your industry, type of work, supply and demand, and your experience.
When I first started freelancing, I had plenty of video editing examples
from college and personal projects. I had experience with the craft, but
not with clients. I didn’t have any client work yet, but I had examples of
my work to prove I had the video editing skill. That was enough to find
those first few clients, but I couldn’t charge as much as I could once I got
a few testimonials from paying clients. It’s especially easy when your
service is easy to show visually. If you’re starting with something that’s
 22
related to consulting or coaching, then you must rely more on
testimonials, which means you may need to enroll some friends and
family into going through your programs. Consider doing it for free to
gather some testimonials.
You can only find so big of a client before getting testimonials
because your prospective clients aren’t just hiring you for your craft, they
want someone that they can have an easy time working with. They want
someone who has good communication and time management skills, who
delivers on time, and who is responsive and collaborative. And they can’t
possibly know if you’re this person unless past clients have provided
testimonials claiming that you are. Your word alone is not enough
because everyone applying for jobs says that they have good
communication skills and are always on time, but we can’t know for sure
unless they have clients to back that up.
Even though your starting rate may be different depending on
industry and other factors, I’ll give you my journey of pricing to give you
some reference here. I started out charging $15.00 an hour, but that was
too low, and I only attracted really low-quality clients who were a pain to
work with. So, I increased it to $25.00 an hour. That was a good starting
point for me, but I didn’t stay there long. Within a few months, I increased
my rate to $30.00, then a few months later, $35.00. Then, I jumped to
$50.00 an hour. A few months after that, I jumped to $75.00 an hour. This
whole process took around a year and a half. And I didn’t go beyond
$75.00 an hour until I changed my core services.
The more testimonials I garnered from past clients, the easier it
was to sell new clients at a higher rate. You know you’ve increased your
rate too soon if you’re getting people who are interested, but you can’t
seem to convince anyone new to hire you. They aren’t quite convinced
that your rate matches your value. It’s okay to test things.

With building your portfolio, you must gather up any possible piece
of evidence you have that proves you have the skills you say you have.
It’s okay if your portfolio includes examples from projects you did in
school or for free at first. This is the case for most beginner freelancers.
Put it all together in a document. Then you upload this portfolio to any
freelancer platform you decide to use, which we’ll get more into later in
this book.
 23
It’s important to not approach this portfolio like you would a typical
job resume. You need to ditch the standard education you got on how to
create a resume, because you’re not looking for an employee job. Your
prospective clients don’t care that you worked at a grocery store for a
year. They only want to see proof related to the service you’re selling in
your freelance business. Many of them won’t even care whether you went
to college or not, so don’t make a big deal about your degree unless it is
very related to your freelance core service.
This document should include any results you’ve achieved for past
“clients,” paid or unpaid, and examples of your work. For me, since I
edited videos, I included links they could click on to go view my videos.
This will be a digital portfolio. It’s not something you’re printing out and
handing out. If you’re a writer, include writing samples, even if it’s from
school assignments.
If you’re able to, try your best to gather a few testimonials from
people you’ve worked with, even if they weren’t paying clients. That social
proof goes a long way. When I was trying to find my first client, I used
testimonials from wedding videos I did in high school. It’s okay to find
them in whatever place you can.
Be patient with yourself. I know it’ll feel awkward pitching yourself
at first while having no previous paid freelancing experience. You will
probably feel like a fraud, but don’t let those voices get in your head.
Don’t let them talk you out of it. You’re not a fraud. You’re not lying to get
a client, you’re just getting resourceful in how you’re creating this first
portfolio. Never exaggerate your skills, of course, but put in effort and
creativity to find proof of them. In time, finding clients will get easier as
your portfolio grows into a substantial collection of results you’ve
achieved for past paying clients. Also, be patient with the fact that your
first few clients will likely be smaller companies, smaller projects, because
they are the ones more willing to take a risk on a beginner.
 24
Step 6: Improve Your Communication and
Sales Skills

Nothing will hold you back more than not knowing how to sell
yourself. You can be the best graphic designer in the world but still have
no clients because you don’t know how to sell. You likely have weird
definitions of sales in your head. We all do. I used to only define a sales
person as an annoying creature that didn’t care about me and only
wanted to make money. Some sales people are like that, but many just
don’t have the right skills. You don’t have to be like that. You can have
integrity and be a great salesperson.
You’re now a business owner, so get used to having to sell. I
thought because I was freelancing as a video editor, not selling hair
styling products door to door, that I didn’t have to learn how to sell. And
that belief delayed my success by 2 years. Once I realized that I needed
to learn sales skills, and once I found a mentor to teach me, I tripled my
income within a few months.
If you subscribe to my YouTube channel and stay tuned to the
blog, you’ll learn more about the formula that I use to sell myself to
potential clients. For now, I want to give you an overview to get you
thinking about it, and preparing for this part of the process in your
freelancing journey. Your family’s livelihood depends on you being able to
sell. And this is true to freelancers and employees. To get the best jobs,
you need to know how to sell yourself. Too many people think sales is
just for those people trying to get me to buy a new car or washing
machine.
Sales is for EVERYONE. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or
extrovert, it’s a specific type of communication skill you still need to learn.
It’s a skill that will actually make you a much better parent. You’re
constantly having to persuade your children to cooperate with this and
that. And when you know how to sell, you’ll be able to talk calmly and
honestly with your children, and help enroll them into trusting you and
trusting that what you’re asking them to is best for them. After this, you
won’t have to default to using coercion and yelling to get your kids to
listen.
 25
Learning business communication skills and sales skills is an
extensive subject that we can only begin to scratch the surface of here.
But here are the general concepts.
Sales is just helping the other person take action to get what they
already want. Remember that. You’re not convincing someone to pay for
something they don’t actually want or need. Those types of salespeople
are the ones we often think of when we think about sales, so then we just
avoid sales entirely. You start talking to a potential client. You seek to
understand their needs and wants, their problem they’re trying to solve.
Then you make a decision on whether your skills and expertise can
provide a solution to their problem or help them achieve their goal. If so,
you proceed to convince them that you are the right person. You use your
portfolio and your communication skills to do that.
These communication skills include listening first. You must listen
and listen more to really hear what the potential client has to say about
their problem and goals. Throughout the whole sales conversation, you
should be listening more than talking. Then you ask inspired questions to
gain a further understanding of what they need. You sometimes repeat
back what they say on certain parts to double check that you’re hearing
them correctly. You find opportunities to relate to their problem, either
through your own experience, or people you’ve worked with in the past.
Then you explain your services and why you believe they align just right
with their problem and goals.
You talk about a couple of the results you’ve achieved in the past,
even if they weren’t for paying clients. You tell them that you have
additional work they can review. And the biggest thing you want to focus
on in the tail end of the conversation is to help them see the return they
can get by investing in you. You’ll be able to more accurately project an
actual financial return for potential clients once you have past projects
with paying clients as a reference point, but at first you’ll just give broad
ranges of what they can expect in return. Go over what kind of growth
their business can make when you write their blog posts. And you can go
off your general industry knowledge to start before you have your own
data.
The last thing you discuss is pricing, and they’ll likely ask about
this regardless. But you want to make sure they understand what the
potential return on investment is, so when you discuss the cost, they can
 26
immediately see the benefit as outweighing the cost. And during this part
is where any last concerns from the client will likely surface. Discussing
finances makes it real for the potential client and can open them up to
revealing more of their worries. Make sure to list as much during this
phase of the conversation as you did at the beginning. Really try to put
yourself in their shoes with what they might be concerned about.
You’ll know if you didn’t properly paint the Return on Investment
picture if you get resistance from them after discussing your pricing. A tip
for how to talk about pricing that is key to helping them not freak out, is to
avoid focusing on just your hourly rate, because then they see you closer
to that of an employee. They need to know what it will cost them per
week, per month, and the project’s total cost. Even if you bill them hourly,
it’s best to present the cost in the form of, “about $400.00 a week,” for
example. And you can tell them what your hourly rate is, but immediately
focus more on the total cost per week or for the whole project, because
then they can balance that with the potential return you already
discussed.
And don’t worry if you weren’t able to give them actual dollar
amounts for what they could get back from investing in you, just by
painting a general picture of other results can help them guess a dollar
amount. In my case, at first I didn’t have any revenue numbers for what
my work produced for a client, but I did have numbers such as
subscribers to a youtube channel, or views on a video, or more visits to a
website. And then the client could guess that at some point a financial
return will come from those numbers.
You want the client to see you as a business owner who has a
price, a total cost. You don’t want them to see you as an employee where
they’re just paying for your time. They are paying for specific results. If
you focus too much on your hourly rate and the time they are paying you
for, then they will compare your $50.00 an hour rate to their $30.00 an
hour employee and think, “wow, freelancers are expensive.” You want
them to see you as an investment, not an expense. I’ll repeat that, you
want them to see you as an investment, not an expense.
The more experience you get, the quicker the sales calls will be.
Be patient with your process developing this skill. My initial sales calls
would sometimes run a full hour. Now they are around 15 minutes on
average. Building up a strong portfolio with testimonials and results from
 27
past clients helps reduce the duration of the sales process because the
potential client comes into the conversation with higher levels of trust in
you already. Sometimes, they are already convinced they want to hire
you before ever talking to you, simply because of your resume and
reputation. This will come in time, so be okay with the more difficult sales
calls that you’ll have in the beginning.
There are two things you’re waiting for before the sales process
becomes quick and almost effortless, and those are your communication
skill growth regarding sales, and your portfolio and resume growing with
results achieved for past clients. The second one takes the longest
because you have to finish projects with clients that can sometimes take
a couple months. It will help if you go after quicker projects at first that
you can get done in a couple days or weeks instead of months because
then you can start building up testimonials and your portfolio sooner. The
bigger, long-term clients will come, but it’s difficult to grow your business if
you only go after them to start because it’ll be a while before you have
something to show from those contracts.
If you remember one thing from this section, remember this: sales
is just helping people take action to get what they already want. And this
skill will help you be a better parent and husband, friend and colleague.
Sales isn’t just about getting clients and making money, it’s about
deepening your relationships because you’re coming from a place of
wanting to serve others and influence them to take action. You’ll have a
greater ability to persuade your kids to do positive things or avoid
negative things, and not have to resort to coercion and yelling. This skill
really will help every aspect of your life, so make it a priority.
 28
Step 7: Get Yourself Out There and Find That
First Client

Now that you’ve done the prep work, it’s time to start making
money. It’s time to start making friends. It’s time to tell the world who you
are and how you can help them. This is something you’ll be doing in
tandem with Step 6. You can get educated about sales, but you really
can’t practice your sales skills until you get out there and start talking to
potential clients. So, where do you go? Where do you start?
In our modern day, it’s imperative that you get online. Don’t rely on
traditional methods of networking. In my early days of trying to start my
business, I wasted so much time going to networking events, only to walk
away with nothing. It was so difficult to meet someone that was even
close to my ideal client. It’s difficult to do targeting networking and
targeting marketing at networking events. I’m not saying you can’t get
clients in that way, but it takes more time. So, where do you get online?
Don’t start with spending money and time on creating a perfect
website. That can come later. Start by using a freelancer platform like
Upwork or Freelancer.com. These are marketplaces that help connect
clients with freelancers. It makes it easy for businesses to hire freelancers
and easy for freelancers to find work. You create a profile, submit
proposals to job posts, get interviewed, and form contracts through the
platform.
I’m most familiar with Upwork. I won’t give extensive training in
this book on best practices with Upwork, but be sure to check out my
YouTube channel and blog where I share many of my Upwork strategies.
I will give you the basics of succeeding on these platforms.
These platforms work by using your resume and portfolio as a way
to push your profile to potential clients who are looking for freelancers.
The bigger your portfolio, the easier it is to get clients. That’s why earlier
in this book, I had you create an initial portfolio so you won’t go into
Upwork empty handed. Once you start winning contracts and then finish
those projects, the client leaves a review and rating. This review will affect
your “Job Success Score.” That score is a large part of what potential
 29
clients see when deciding who to hire, and it’s what Upwork uses when
deciding whether to surface your profile in search results.
This is why it’s important that you go after the easy, small projects
first so that you can start building up positive reviews and ratings quicker.
My average contract right now lasts 6+ months, but when I first started, I
was doing video editing projects that only took me a few days, so it was
easier to start building up those ratings and reviews. The bigger fish will
come, but only if you are willing to start small. You can actually ask clients
for testimonials now in the middle of a project, and it will post to your
profile. However, if you’re going after longer-term projects, then it could
still be a while before you produce a good enough result for the client to
want to give you a testimonial.
Some of the key elements you need to optimize on your Upwork
profile is your job title, description, and portfolio. Also, make sure to use a
professional picture so clients take you seriously. And when you’re
applying to jobs, you’ll be submitting a proposal. This proposal is your first
chance to implement your sales skills and start persuading the client to
want to interview you. If they choose your proposal as a favorite, then
they will likely want to speak with you over the phone or video call.
Make sure to make your proposal as relevant to their job post as
possible. Never copy and paste generic pitches about yourself. Only
focus on what they are looking for, and only discuss the experience
you’ve had that is relevant to that job. They don’t want a full resume of all
your jobs. They only want to see that you have the skills and experience
for the exact thing they are looking for. Give a couple of results you’ve
achieved, if you have them. And make sure to always ask them a
question in the proposal. It encourages them to respond and start a
conversation. Your question can often be something related to trying to
clarify what their job entails, what their goals are, what concerns they
have, and why they want to hire someone like you. Show that you care
about their “why.”
This “interview” is your sales call. It’s not like a typical job
interview. You are interviewing them as a potential fit for a client as much
as they are interviewing you. You’re asking questions, too. You’re
listening. And you’re pitching your services. Try to avoid thinking of
yourself as a candidate for an employee job, or you’ll project the wrong
 30
energy and impression. You are forming a business partnership. You are
equals in this conversation.
At first, you’ll be submitting a lot of proposals before getting that
first client. And then you’ll still be spending more time than you want
applying to jobs. That’s okay! You’re learning how to sell yourself, so you
need practice. Every sales call that doesn’t result in a client hiring you is a
learning opportunity. You get to analyze what you did well, and what
could be improved for the next call. I used to get on 3 to 5 calls per week,
which helped me gain the skill quickly.
Upwork isn’t the only place you should use to advertise yourself.
Make sure to set up and optimize your LinkedIn profile, too. Businesses
will check for you there. I have to admit, I’ve only had a few clients come
from LinkedIn leads, but I have always had potential clients that I found
elsewhere like from Upwork go find me on LinkedIn and connect with me
there. Prospects and clients feel like they can have a more real
connection with you there as part of their business network because it
doesn’t have the communication restrictions that Upwork has. And it’s
easier for them to refer you to people in their network through LinkedIn.
Too many freelancers don’t take advantage of LinkedIn because it is
more difficult to find clients there, but it’s easier to manage your network
there.
Also, use apps like Shapr, which help you network online by
matching your profile with specific people you’re looking for. I’ve had
some clients come from there. Use social media because your potential
clients may check there as well to see what kind of content you post. I
suggest posting content related to your business often enough so they
can see it’s really a part of who you are.
At the beginning you should be spending at least an hour every
day prospecting, networking, applying to jobs and practicing your sales
skills. It will feel uncomfortable at first but push through that. If you don’t
currently have a job that takes up most of your day, then spend all of your
time every day that you’re working, networking and prospecting. It will
seem that you’re devoting a ton of time and getting very little in return at
first, but the return will come ten fold. But happens only once you have
mastered the skills and have built a strong enough portfolio that shortens
the sales process.
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Right now, I get a couple invites to jobs every single day, so I
rarely spend time looking for work. I spend most of my prospecting time
responding to people who have found me. And on average, I spend 15
minutes on a call before closing a deal. At first, I never got invited to jobs,
I had to find them myself. And I spent 30-60 minutes on sales calls, rarely
closing deals. But I stuck with it until I got that first client, and that
motivates you to keep going until you find the next one. It’s definitely a
snowball effect from there.
If you have done the groundwork, then finding those first clients
will be easier. You’ll have more confidence going into it, knowing that your
foundations are in place, your priorities are set, and you know what you
want. And you’re ready to pursue something that you know won’t
compromise your family’s needs because you’ve set rules for yourself.
You know what matters most to you. Even when I wasn’t making money, I
was still only working 30 hours per week because I knew if I over-worked
and ignored my family, I would become more stressed and it would have
made me more desperate to find clients. I needed enough work-life
balance from the beginning in order to have a clear head, sharp focus,
and the energy to gain skills quickly.
Once you start finding clients and you start getting busy doing
work for them, the pressure of producing results can cause a lot of stress.
You don’t want to drop the ball. You don’t want to screw up. So, when
your kids interrupt you and keep trying to pull you away from work, you
better be prepared with how to respond to that. That’s why this last step
we’re going to discuss is so important. If you want to keep your sanity and
not crack under pressure, you must know how to manage the merging of
your office and work with your home and personal life. You must know
how to set up boundaries with gates, but not impassable walls.
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Step 8: Managing Work and Family Life Under
The Same Roof

Managing a business is hard work, but managing a family is even

harder work. It makes sense to spend more of your time with your family
than in your job, yet too many people get stuck in the 40+ hour work
weeks that don’t allow that. A common stress that freelancing Dads face
usually revolves around their kids. Your kids see you at home, glued to
your computer screen, and they don’t know why you aren’t playing with
them. What do you do?
You must set up boundaries, but kindly. When my first son started
to enter the toddler phase and no longer just wanted mom all day, I
started to experience one of the most common challenges of being a
freelancing dad who works from home. He wanted my attention, but he
was too young to understand why I had to work. Now, my first son is 5
years old, and he’s starting to understand that me working earns us
money and ultimately affects him, mainly when it comes to buying toys.
But boundaries can be set up even before they can understand
economics. Your children just need immense consistency from you.
We talked about creating a work schedule already, but I’ll reiterate
it. You must decide on a work schedule that the whole family is ready to
support and one that your kids will catch onto, even if they can’t tell time.
Without that, any other effort to make working at home work will fall flat on
its face. That schedule alone won’t solve all your problems, though. Your
kids will still want your attention sometimes and forget that you’re having
to work.
This is when you get to use your epic sales skills that you’ve been
practicing with potential clients. Now you get to try and sell to the most
resistant client you’ll ever have, your children. They will test your abilities
to the max.

How do you deal with interruptions from your kids?

Pause what you’re doing unless it’s urgent. If you need to send an
email to your client in the next minute, then you just need to finish the
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task and respond more quickly to your children. When that’s the case,
enroll your spouse into helping. But if it’s not urgent, and most of the time
it’s not, pause what you’re doing. Then turn your whole body towards your
child until you are facing them directly. Get on his or her level, and
depending on their height, you sitting in your office chair might already be
at that level. Look them in the eye and ask them to tell you what they
want. “Can you please repeat what you said? I'm listening.” They likely
busted into the room commanding you to do this or that, or just wanting to
share something with you. And the irony is, right as I typed that sentence,
my 5 year old walked into the office and is now right by my side, so, I’m
going to take a minute to see what he wants and then I’ll finish writing this
book!

Ok, I’m back! Your children just want to feel heard. They want to
know you care. They will understand that you have work to do, but you
must take the time to calibrate with them by making eye contact and
getting on their level. On average, it only takes me 2 minutes to address
what my son is wanting to communicate before he’s okay for me to go
back to work.
And an important part of that conversation is to tell them without
ANY frustration, “You want to play with me. I want to play with you, but
right now I have to work. I will be done in one hour. Then I’ll take a break
and we can play. What would you like to do when I’m on my break?”
You’re focusing on helping them set their sights onto the future
when you will play with them so that they aren’t so focused on you not
playing with them now. But you are scheduling them for a future time.
They like feeling important enough to be added to your schedule.
My first strategy, which was a total fail was, “Oliver, I’m working,
let me work. I can’t play, just go find something to do.” And this was all
with an angry tone, of course. And I was pushing him away with my body
language by putting my hand like a stop sign, blocking him. I basically
confirmed his fears to be true that dad didn’t want to play with him and
didn’t want to be with him. In reality, I would rather play with him than
work, but I made it seem as if I would rather work. So, take the time to
communicate that you really do want to be with them, but you have work
that must be done first. And help them come up with something they
could do while they wait.
 34
Having a spouse makes this easier of course, because if they
aren’t working, then they can occupy your children’s time while you work.
But sometimes kids want a break from mom and will still come to bother
you. Just be ready for it, know how to respond, and you’ll be able to
remain calm. Your children just want to feel welcome in your work world,
and most of the time, they will respect the time you set aside to work. But
it starts with you respecting them.
Something that really helped me was that I created a space for my
son in my office. I set up a small table, and he got to have a desk in my
office, too. Of course, on his desk he wasn’t helping businesses create
videos, he was building Lego Star Wars ships. But sometimes he likes to
just come into my space and do his own thing while just being near me.
Let them do that. You will learn how to tune out the noise and focus on
your work. There will be times that you will have to enroll your family in
staying out of your office during high focus times, like important meetings,
and that’s okay. But depending on what you do, most of the time, you can
work with an open door. Closing my office door always made my children
want to come in more because they felt blocked out.
For me, even when I get on sales calls now, I won’t close my door,
and sometimes my kids are nearby. My 5-year-old is now old enough to
understand how to be quiet while I’m on a call, or at least not try to talk to
me. And sometimes, if he is in the middle of something in my office, I’ll
just go somewhere else for calls. You need to embrace flexibility in how
you work when you have a family in your work space. That doesn’t mean
you don’t have structure and a schedule, but be willing to bend a bit when
needed. I work in my office on my desktop computer most of the time, but
occasionally I have to work on my laptop in another room or in the
backyard in order to balance family needs for an hour or so.

Your Work Needs vs. Family Needs

Always be considering the needs of your work and your family.

Work with your wife on solutions for how to fulfill both needs so one isn’t
sabotaging the other. Then resentment builds, either in you for work
needs not being met, or in your wife or kids for their needs not being met.
You must be transparent with your family about your work needs. How
 35
many hours you need to work, what times are ideal, when you need to
have no interruptions, and when you are more flexible.
The times that I got into trouble with my wife were when I wasn’t
being transparent about my needs at work, and then I would get
frustrated with her that she wasn’t supporting me, but she didn’t know
what I needed and why. It’s very easy for us dads to compartmentalize
our job and avoid sharing stresses with the family. But if your work needs
aren’t being met, you need to immediately share that with your wife so
you can find solutions for how to meet those needs.
And of course she will be motivated to support you because her
whole life depends on you succeeding and earning money. But too often
as men, we try to pretend like we’re doing just fine and we’ve got
everything under control. If our needs aren’t being met, we pretend like
they are because “real men don’t whine!” But it’s not about whining, it’s
about communicating like a responsible adult. Drop your pride and be
completely honest with your wife about how you are doing at work and
whether all your needs are being met in that department.
Write out your work needs, personal needs, wife’s personal
needs, and children’s needs. Then, create a plan for how they are all
going to be met. When family needs aren’t being met, it takes up space in
your mind and causes continual stress that affects your success as a
freelancer. This step cannot be skipped.

Open and close your business.

When you’re done working for the day, close your business. That
means, you close down any tabs on your internet browser and you
energetically and literally stop working. Leave your work in your home
office. Make sure that you devote the last few minutes of your work day
preparing your to-do list for the next day so those tasks aren’t swirling
around in your head.
If there are any problems from work you’re trying to figure out how
to solve, write those down and get your thoughts out in those last few
minutes. You need to leave your work with an empty mind, ready to be
present with your family. So, anything that is swirling around your mind,
journal it out before you leave. If you don’t, then all evening as your kids
are trying to engage with you and your wife is trying to talk with you, you
 36
won’t be able to give them your full attention because part of your mind is
still mulling over things from work.
My wife called me out on this back when I didn’t know how to shut
off work for the day. I wasn’t only thinking about work stuff after my work
day was over, I also kept checking email. And she would ask, “Where are
you?” It’s very obvious when you’re not present. Your wife and kids will
not be fooled. And it really hurts their trust in you, because all day you
were telling them that once you’re done with work you’ll be able to play.
And “play” to your kid does not mean being in the same room and staying
off your computer. It means you’re 100% present and engaged with them.
I used to have an actual open and closed sign that would hang
from my wall that I would flip from “Open” to “Closed” when I was done
working for the day. And that helped train my brain to leave work at work.
Now, it’s natural for me to end my work day on the right note, with a clear
head. But at first, you’ll need to do everything you can to train your brain
to have the skills of ending the conversation with your work when it’s time
to “go home.” And this is more difficult for people that work at home.
It’s very easy when working at home, instead of an office building
somewhere else, to always have your mind on work. You have to go the
extra mile to train yourself to keep work contained to the schedule you’ve
set for yourself, because you don’t have the same physical barriers
between work and home life as an employee does.
If you want to build a successful family at the same time you’re
building a business, you must learn how to turn off work when it’s time.
And journaling all your thoughts out and making a to-do list are both key
to making the transition easier. If your work schedule ends at 4:00pm,
then at 3:45 you’re done doing actual work for clients or administrative
tasks for your business. You spend that last 15 minutes reviewing your
day, planning for the next day and clearing your head. Then you “go
home.”
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BONUS: Create Content To Demonstrate Your
Expertise

You likely consume a lot of content from experts online who you
trust. You read their blog, watch their videos, and you may even take their
courses. It’s what freelancers have to do to stay educated. Your industry
is likely changing so fast that you need to keep reeducating yourself on
best practices. I have to keep tabs on how trends are changing with video
marketing. I stay up to date on best practices with online video strategy.
My education never stops.
But did you ever think to create content yourself? Did you ever
think to shoot your own video and post them on YouTube, or to write a
blog post? Whether you are a writer, video editor, consultant, graphic
designer, website programmer, or any other freelance job you can think
of, you have expertise that others don’t. Share it. I have found some of
my best clients through them watching a video I posted on YouTube
about “how to grow your business with video marketing,” for example. I
wasn’t selling my services in the video, I was just teaching what I knew.
And that proved to the potential client that I knew what I was talking about
and thus was worth hiring.
If you want to massively stand out from every other freelancer out
there, create content. Almost no freelancers are doing it. You’ll be able to
win the best clients because of it. And it doesn’t have to be a big deal.
Turn on your phone and start talking. Then upload the video to YouTube.
It can start very basic. And if you happen to have video editing skills like I
did, then use them, but if you don’t, just get your voice out there. Show
your potential clients your expertise, rather than just telling them you have
expertise. It makes for very efficient sales calls.
One of the reasons I have shorter sales calls now isn’t only
because of having a bigger resume, it’s also because many of them
watched a video of mine and so they enter the conversation with greater
trust in me and they feel more connected to me by seeing and hearing
me. Create content! It’s not a mandatory thing to succeed as a freelancer,
but it will help you stand out.