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PERSONAL SPIRITUAL DISCERNMENT

Prepared by Alexis Deodato S. Itao, Ph.D. (Cand.), Social Sciences Department, Cebu Normal University

I. Introduction
Hello everyone.
This afternoon I am going to share with you about “Personal Spiritual Discernment”,
particularly its meaning and process.
My talk is based on the lecture given last year by Paolo Monaco, S.J., the director of
the Center for Ignatian Spirituality in Rome. Obviously, because he is a Jesuit, his
understanding of discernment is primarily Ignatian. That’s one important thing to keep
in mind as we go along.
In my talk, however, while many of the ideas I will share come from Fr. Monaco’s text,
I have also included some personal inputs to make this whole talk palatable to the
wider public.

II. The Different Levels of Discernment

So, what is discernment?
Strictly speaking, discernment is not really something purely spiritual; rather, it is
something that we all do every day. It is a daily activity common to all.
From the Latin verb discernere, which means to separate things according to their
qualities or to distinguish between one thing and another, discernment is the process
that allows us to identify what differentiates things. Simply put, to discern is to separate
in order to differentiate.
There are different levels of discernment that we may undertake:
1. rational-intellectual
a) simple – any act of separation or differentiation that does not require deep
thought, like when you separate dust from stones with a sieve, or when you
make ordinary everyday decisions such as what to wear, what to cook, what
groceries to buy, etc.;
b) critical – all those acts of differentiation that now require deep thought and
reflection, like when you try to resolve a certain important issue or when you
make a major decision in your life;
2. spiritual – any form of critical reflection that makes use of both reason and faith,
or which combines rationality and spirituality.

Spiritual discernment is not an exclusive patrimony of Christianity. Certainly, we can

also speak of Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, or any religious form of spiritual discernment.
Our focus this afternoon, though, will be on Christian spiritual discernment, particularly,
spiritual discernment as it is understood in the Catholic tradition. And while in
Christianity spiritual discernment may be personal or collective, we will center our
attention on personal spiritual discernment, that is, on how to discern on our own,
individually, in a Christian way.
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III. Biblical Roots of the Christian Concept of Discernment

In the Old Testament, scholars identify five different Hebrew words that are associated
with the term discernment:
1) bāhan – to test or to examine
2) bāhar – to choose or to prefer
3) hāqar – to investigate or to measure
4) yāqar – to give weight or value
5) sārap – to burn or to test with fire
Of these five words, however, it is the verb bāhan that is closely linked to the Christian
notion of discernment. Let us take a look at some of these Old Testament verses where
the word bāhan appears.
• Psalm 17:3 – “If you try my heart ... if you test (bāhan) me, you will find no
wickedness in me ...”
• Psalm 26:2 – “Prove me, O LORD, and try me; test (bāhan) my heart and mind.”
• Jeremiah 17:10 – “I the LORD test (bāhan) the mind and search the heart, to give
to all according to their ways … to the fruit of their doings.”
• Job 12:11 – “Does not the ear test (bāhan) words as the palate tastes food?”
• Job 23:10 – “But he knows that way that I take; when he has tested (bāhan) me,
I shall come out like gold.”

Through the different semantic uses of bāhan, we can conjecture that in the Old
Testament discernment has something to do with testing, with examining, which
implies a purificatory process meant to cleanse both the heart and mind.
To discern, therefore, is to test and purify both the heart and mind in order to arrive at
a clearer knowledge, at authentic truth, and at better understanding, which will form
the basis in deciding upon the best course of action to be taken.
Meanwhile, in the New Testament the terms used to indicate the process of
discerning are dokimázein and diakrínein. But what do these words mean?
Dokimázein signifies “to weigh, to go through examining and verify the validity or the
value of what is presented to us.” Its purpose is for us to either accept or reject
whatever it is that we are being presented with, evaluate it at its right price or give it
the higher or lower consideration it deserves.
The other term, diakrínein, means “a judgment of separation to distinguish and rightly
evaluate what is set before us.”
In the New Testament, therefore, discernment is that process that allows a person to
see, without ambiguity and confusion, the real value and difference among things,
especially with regard to spiritual matters. In short, to discern is to interpret the things of
the spirit.
So while in the Old Testament the notion of discernment always carries both practical
and spiritual connotations, in the New Testament discernment tends to denote a
spiritual process.
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Let us consider this verse from the Gospel:

• Luke 12:56 – “You hypocrites! You know how to interpret (dokimázein) the
appearance of earth and sky, but why do you not know how to interpret
(dokimázein) the present time?”
As you must have noticed, in this verse, the verb dokimázein appears twice. While Jesus
here acknowledges the value of practical discernment (in the first appearance of
dokimázein), his emphasis is clearly on spiritual discernment (in the second
appearance of dokimázein). This more than suggests that should we discern, it should
better be over spiritual matters.
Saint Paul highlights the importance of spiritual discernment when he says:
• Romans 12:2 – “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the
renewing of your minds, so that you may discern (dokimázein) what is the will of
God — what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

IV. Spiritual Discernment in Christianity

The Christian understanding of discernment is precisely this: the process of reflective
and critical thinking that one carries out in order to know God’s will. In other words,
when I discern, it is for one purpose alone: to seek God’s will so I will know what He
wants me to do in the present as well as in the future. Discernment, then, is not so much
about the simple choice of good over evil, or of right over wrong. In black-and-white
moral situations, you don’t have to discern at all to know God’s will; doing the good
and choosing what is right: this is obviously what His will is.
Rather, in Christianity, discernment is more about choosing between two good options,
that is, between what I want and what God wants; between what I desire and what
God desires.
But as our own experiences can attest, oftentimes, it is difficult to draw a line between
my plans and God’s plans; it’s not easy to separate the human and the divine. This
explains why discernment always involves careful and critical thinking.
But how do we go about in discernment? What are the necessary steps to be taken?

V. The Process of Discernment

Step 1: Pray
The main actor in every genuine discernment is the Holy Spirit. His leading, His
outpouring of light, His endowment of His gifts of understanding, knowledge and
wisdom are what enable us to recognize the will of God.
No spiritual discernment is complete without the Holy Spirit. A particular act of
discernment is called spiritual precisely because we allow ourselves to be led and
guided by the Holy Spirit.
Thus, the first step in any spiritual discernment has to be prayer. It can never be
anything else. In fact, discernment is not just any thoughtful and reflective decision-
making process; it is in every sense a form of prayer.
Discernment is a prayer of supplication. It is an invocation for the Holy Spirit to show us
the way and direct us towards God’s will. Definitely, there are many ways on how to
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pray during discernment. But arguably, the simplest way to do it is to STOP. It’s simply
S–T–O–P where:
S – stands for “surrender”
T – for “tell”
O – for “open”
P – for “ponder”
In discernment, it’s important to prayerfully begin with an act of surrender. It’s your way
of telling the Holy Spirit to take over, to be the one in charge, and that the outcome is
not because of your brilliance but solely because of His guidance.
What does surrender mean?
Literally, it is giving up all your worries, preoccupations, concerns, talents, skills, abilities,
ideas, plans, desires, dreams, etc. and placing them all before God. In short, it is
becoming empty. In this way, God, who is always generous, can refill you with His
grace, with whatever you may lack and need.
If you cannot surrender, then do not proceed. The Holy Spirit cannot take full control
of any situation if you are still the one on the steering wheel. Surrendering is important
so you can acquire what St. Ignatius of Loyola calls “indifference”, that is, the state of
inner freedom, openness, and balance that allows you beforehand not to incline more
toward one option than to another.
Now say you are done surrendering, what’s next?
Here you may now tell God everything. Tell him your confusions, fears, doubts, as well
as your hopes, ambitions, etc. Tell him what you want, the things you truly need. Tell
him what is really in your heart. Tell him of the specific graces and blessings you desire
to receive.
After telling God all that you want to tell Him, open yourself to the Holy Spirit; open
yourself to His graces. And open both your mind and heart. You may need a little
imagination here. When you open yourself to the Holy Spirit, picture yourself as an
empty container being filled to the brim. And don’t just picture it, feel it. Picture and
feel His outpouring of graces.
Finally, when you have opened yourself to the Holy Spirit, you may now ponder on the
matter/s that you are discerning over. To ponder means to think well, and this entails
paying close attention to three distinct languages: the language of the mind, the
language of the heart, and the language of the Holy Spirit.
Going deeper into these languages brings us to the next step in the discernment
process. But let us first review how to start your discernment with a prayer. All you have
to do is S-T-O-P: Surrender, Tell, Open, and Ponder. STOP.

Step 2: Listen to What Your Mind Says

Most of our everyday choices are not really based on reasoning and/or objective
thinking; rather, they are more due to the impulsion of feelings, sentiments, desires,
fears, etc. as well as many other external conditions.
In discernment, one of the things you avoid is giving in to your emotions and feelings
without reflective and critical thinking. This is because when you discern, you listen to
what your mind is telling you.
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Remember, to discern is not so much to choose between good and evil or between
right and wrong but rather to choose between two good options, one of which is the
will of God for you. But which one of the two is God’s will? It is not always easy and it is
rather tricky because both options could be equally attractive and appealing.
It would greatly help, therefore, to ask yourself these questions:
• What are the true reasons that attract me to Option A? To Option B?
• What are my apprehensions with regard to Option A? To Option B?
• Which of the two could benefit me more materially? What about spiritually?
• If Jesus were in my place, which of the two would He likely choose? Why?
Another practical thing to do is to write down all the pros and cons of your options, as
well as the total number for each, and look at them with objectivity.
Here’s a sample table:

OPTION PROS CONS

A
Total

OPTION PROS CONS

B
Total

When you are able to see your options with more objectivity, you are also likely to have
more clarity. Your mind will let you recognize which is the more intelligent choice to
make.
But do not yet make any decision at this point. The better option does not always and
necessarily equate to the will of God. This is where the next step in the discernment
process comes in.

Step 3: Listen to What Your Heart Says

In discerning, it is never correct to solely rely on your mind. It is equally important to
listen to your heart.
By and large, an intellectual approach to discernment is insufficient. It is always
necessary to examine with your heart the judgments of your mind. It therefore helps
when you ask yourself questions like:
• What do I really feel about my choice?
• Do I really feel at peace and serene about it?
• Or do I instead feel a certain sense of foreboding?
• Why am I feeling what I am now feeling?
Listening to your heart entails being attentive to the movements of your affectivity.
During moments of discernment, affectivity does not primarily pertain to fleeting
emotions. Instead, affectivity designates the core of one’s being, the “depth” within
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each self. In other words, affectivity signifies those deeper feelings from deep within
every human being, those deeper feelings that only the heart can understand.
According to discernment experts, there are two principal affective movements that
we should give particular attention to whenever we are discerning: consolation and
desolation.
Consolation, as St. Ignatius of Loyola describes it, is when you feel inflamed with love
for your Creator and Lord; and can, in consequence, love no created thing in itself,
but in the Creator of them all. It is a sense of peace and interior joy which calls and
attracts to heavenly things and to the salvation of one’s soul, quieting it and giving it
peace in its Creator and Lord.
Desolation, still according to St. Ignatius, is when you experience the opposite: darkness
of soul, disquiet, agitations, restlessness, anxiety, discontentment, or even sadness,
anger, and fear, as if separated from your Creator and Lord.
Whatever your feelings may be, do not jump into any decision just yet. It is because it
could also happen that the consolation you are feeling is not really true consolation,
but deceit from the evil one. This is where we enter into the next step in the discernment
process. This is where the Holy Spirit will have a big role to play.

Step 4: Listen to What the Holy Spirit Says

Lest we forget, discernment is a spiritual undertaking. To discern is to seek God’s will.
Yet our human limitations are not the only obstacles that prevent us from choosing the
will of God. There are the evil spirits (the devil, demons, our sinfulness); they could pull
us down and lead us far and away from what God really wants.
St. Ignatius testifies that the evil spirits are permitted by God to bring us into a state of
desolation. They are the ones who disturb our peace, steal our serenity, and turn our
joy into anger.
For this reason, it would not be wise to completely depend on what your mind and
heart dictate. Instead, it greatly matters to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit and
listen to His voice. The Holy Spirit is the giver of such gifts as understanding, wisdom,
and knowledge. Therefore, ask for them so He may gift you with them so you may also
discern with clarity what the will of God is.
Now as you invoke the Holy Spirit for His gifts, look deep within yourself and track the
patterns of your affective movements. If the beginning, middle, and end lead you to
praise, love and serve God more and also enflame your heart to reach out to others,
you may take it as a sign that your feeling of consolation is not from the evil spirits. But
if towards the end your peace and serenity seem to disappear, and if you sense that
you are being drawn away from God and feel some annoyance towards others, it is a
sign that the evil spirits are the ones at work in the background. The Holy Spirit will speak
to you in your heart whether a certain choice makes you closer to God or away from
Him.
The Holy Spirit, of course, may also speak to you through certain persons.
To those who belong to religious communities, it is always wise to confer with your
spiritual director or religious superior. With him or her, you can discern better the will of
God for you. This is because the presence of Jesus in his Mystical Body amplifies the
voice of God in us.
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For the same reason, to those who do not belong to religious communities, it is always
profitable to speak to wise, spiritually mature, and experienced individuals; they can
offer you a wealth of insights and accompaniment and together with them you can
hear better God’s voice in you and you can arrive at a fruitful discernment.

A Personal Experience
I remember my very own experience when I was discerning whether I should remain a
seminarian and become a priest or get out of the seminary and get married. It was a
long and slow process. It was not easy because I really wanted to become a priest. At
the same time, here was a beautiful creature that I met who captured my heart and
gave me sleepless nights. So I was torn between two loves: the priesthood and this
beautiful creature. For several months, I had regular sessions with a wise guidance
counselor. Those sessions helped me a lot in my discernment. Finally, I felt that it was
God’s will for me to leave the seminary. But how could I confirm this? Then I recall the
Gospel passage which says, “Whoever listens to you listens to me” (Luke 10:16). So I
immediately set an appointment with my bishop. I felt that Jesus would confirm to me
His will through the bishop. Honestly, I didn’t know what the bishop would say; he could
tell me to remain as a seminarian or permit me to leave. But I was at peace. Before we
met, I went to Mass to prepare myself spiritually. To my great surprise, the Gospel that
day was: “Whoever listens to you listens to me” (Luke 10:16). It was like Jesus was
directly telling me that I should listen to my bishop because whatever the bishop would
say, that’s the will of God for me. So the bishop and I met and I talked for about thirty
minutes. And all he did was to listen. After I finished talking, he said to me, “You know
what, the priesthood for you is not a vocation but a temptation. Go in peace. You
have my blessing.” That’s how I discerned my vocation to married life. I listened to the
Holy Spirit within me, in my guidance counselor, and in my bishop.

Step 5: Choose but Consecrate Your Choice to God

When you have ascertained, after much prayer and consideration, which of the two
options you are discerning over leads you closer to God, then you may now make a
choice. Whatever brings you closer to God is certainly the will of God.
Human as we are, however, our choices are never infallible. Even those who have
already reached the heights of spiritual maturity are still bound to fail and get mistaken.
When time can no longer wait and you have to make a choice, then do it. But don’t
forget to consecrate your choice to God. You can say, “LORD, I need to choose right
now and this choice seems to me to be Your will. If I am right, bless my choice. But if I
am wrong, please lead me back to the right path and never let me go astray.”
When there is no real rush to make a choice, then take your time. Pray, reflect, and
carefully weigh all alternatives. Seek advice from wise and experienced individuals
and watch out for the promptings of the Holy Spirit in your soul.

VI. Quick Recapitulation and Conclusion

To quickly recap the steps in personal spiritual discernment, we have:
• Step 1: Pray – STOP (Surrender, Tell, Open, Ponder)
• Step 2: Listen to What Your Mind Says
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• Step 3: Listen to What Your Heart Says

• Step 4: Listen to What the Holy Spirit Says
• Step 5: Choose but Consecrate Your Choice to God

Discernment is not a one-time undertaking. It does not stop after a decision has been
made. We never seek the will of God only once; rather, we continue to seek His will
throughout our lifetime. Discernment, therefore, is a process that needs to be repeated
over and over throughout the course of our life. It is part and parcel of our continuous
journey towards God.
I did not mention this earlier, but discernment always presupposes some degree of
interior silence so we will be able to listen well to our mind, heart, and the Holy Spirit. So
let us learn how to quiet ourselves in order to succeed in our every discernment. To
discern not only lets us know the will of God; it also lets us find God in all things and all
things in God.

I hope that our short lesson has taught you something essential for your spiritual life.
Thank you for your time and attention.
May God bless you and your family.
Goodbye and Happy Sunday.