Zach Walker’s Christian Formation Journal

Zachary Walker

EDMIN-3022

December 8, 2021
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Zach Walker’s Christian Formation Journal

PROLOGUE

This journal will serve as a reflection on the various readings and assignments from

Christian Formation. Each section will highlight details and personal reflections from the

separate readings and assignments that I found meaningful and that furthered my sanctification.

CHRISTIAN HOLINESS – based on the reading of Rediscovering Holiness by J.I. Packer.

J.I. Packer’s book Rediscovering Holiness thoroughly walks the reader through both the

importance of holiness to the life of a Christian, and what exactly it means to be holy. This book

re-enforced some old truths that I already knew, as well as brought some new things to my mind

to meditate on. The first idea that Packer unfolds that spoke to me was his definition of holiness.

There have been times in my life where if you had asked me what holiness was, I would have

replied something along the lines of “doing the right thing and not sinning”. This book however

has re-affirmed to me that holiness is much more than that.

Packer uses the examples of the Pharisees in the book, who thought they were living a

holy life because they were legally following the law to earn God’s favor. Packer proposes that

“we dare not forget that holiness begins in the heart” (25). He goes on to describe three areas of

holiness that I have not considered much up to this point: my temperament, my humanness, and

my relationships. These points gave me much to think about in the way that I approach these

areas of my life.
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The second thing in the book that aided my understanding of the Christian life of holiness

was his description of the three-legged stool. Packer makes an illustration that the Christian life

is composed of doctrine, experience, and practice. According to Packer “A Christian who comes

in short in D (doctrine), E (experience), or P (practice) is inescapably in trouble, one way or

another. Distorted development is thwarting God’s plan for healthy spiritual growth” (69). I had

never thought of the idea of holiness in these terms before and the illustration really brought

home the balance required in the life of a Christian. It is very easy for me to get hyper-focused

on one area of my life, and when stepping back to view it from afar I can see how when things

are out of balance, I will have a hard time being effective because these three areas of life must

all be properly attended to. In the future this illustration will be one thing that I surely will

remember from this book.

The other big idea that I took from Packer’s book was in his chapter entitled “Holiness:

The Panoramic View”. Packer unfolds the idea that “holiness of life is not precisely a human

achievement, however much it demands of human effort. It is a work of the Holy Spirit, who

prompts and energizes the human effort as part of it. It is a supernaturalizing of our natural lives,

a matter of becoming and so of being what we are as new creatures in Christ” (104). This idea is

something that I have struggled with in the past. I oftentimes find myself thinking that I am the

one that can either live holy or not, and that any effort to do right and live what I think is a holy

life depends on me alone. I think this is probably a common thought among Christians. Just as

Packer referenced the Pharisees earlier, it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everything

depends on me and how I choose to live, and that it is my own effort that will result in success or

not.
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This book (as well as some of the others, and this class) has given me a renewed

appreciation and understanding of the Holy Spirits role in the formation of mature Christians. I

appreciated Packer’s book because it really drove home several points about what it means to be

holy that I had not fully considered before this class.

GENTLE AND LOWLY ENTRY– based on the reading of Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund.

The book Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund gave me a new appreciation and

understanding of Christ. It challenged me to slightly change my view of Christ — providing new

concepts to further understand who He is. The concept of Jesus being gentle and lowly was

something that I really didn’t fully understand before reading this book.

Probably the most impactful thing that this book presented was that Jesus sympathizes

with me and doesn’t immediately react with anger or displeasure when I sin. This is something

that sounds easy to understand, but in practice it never seemed the case. Even knowing that my

sins past and future have been forgiven and paid for on the cross, in the past if I sin I always

immediately would think that God was upset and would distance Himself from me until I

confessed and the relationship was restored. This book helped me see the error of my thinking.

Ortlund says “Jesus can no more bring himself to stiff-arm you than the loving father of a crying

newborn can bring himself to stiff-arm his dear child” (55). He goes on to explain how it is in

Jesus’ very nature to deal gently with us (57). This was a very comforting idea.

Another impactful illustration from this book was when Ortlund posits that “He sides

with you against your sin, not against you because of your sin. He hates sin. But he loves you”

(71). This idea, along with the corresponding idea that Jesus is in Heaven currently serving as

our advocate is comforting. Ortlund likens it to an older brother cheering on his younger sibling
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at a track meet even though he knows the younger brother has victory assured in the final steps

of the race. He doesn’t sit back and think how it’s over, he is constantly cheering and affirming

the runner (80). That was an illustration that made me picture it in my mind and stuck with me

from this book. I now trust even more that Jesus is not just sitting idle at the right hand of the

Father, but he is there advocating for me and affirming me even though I am already saved.

The third thing that made an impact on me from this book is an illustration in Chapter 20

about a fictional twelve-year-old that even though his parents tell him he is loved and part of the

family, the child does tasks like moping the floor and imitating his dad. When asked by his

parents the reason, the boy says he is trying to secure his place in the family. Ortlund makes a

great point with this illustration saying, “The purpose of this chapter . . . is to bring the heart of

Christ to bear on our chronic tendency to function out of a subtle belief that our obedience

strengthens the love of God” (182). This really hit home with me and made me think of instances

in my life where I have thought my obedience was causing God to love me more.

I am appreciative that this book was included in the class readings. I think of the books

we read in class, this is the one that most impacted my view of Jesus and how he approaches me

as a sinner. The ideas and illustrations are something that changed some of my view of Christ

and will continue to shape the way I live going forward.

MINISTRY LEADERSHIP ENTRY – based on the reading of A Guide to Christian Spiritual

Formation.

A Guide to Christian Spiritual Formation by Evan Howard was a difficult read for me. I

did not fully grasp everything that Howard was trying to say and I felt he wandered at times. But,

there were a few important things that I gathered from the book. The first and most important
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thing that I read in this book was the chapter about discernment. Howard tells a fictional story of

a search committee and explains how none of the members truly know how to recognize the

Holy Spirit in discerning the decision for the task they were assigned. Howard says of them “The

problem is that these three have been assigned a task for which they have not been properly

prepared . . . They lack the breadth of knowledge, the skills, and the virtues and sensibilities to

discern together, and consequently each operates out of his or her own experience, background,

and personality” (213). This illustration and quote were impactful because it made me think of

how little the topic of discernment has been taught in the churches I have been at. Howard makes

a great point that as ministers we must teach our congregations not a process for discernment, but

to develop “important virtues of discernment—freedom in faith, obedience, sharing of God’s

heart, listening, humility, prayer, wisdom, and love—by facilitation activities designed for the

purpose” (218). I think this is an important task in ministry that sometimes gets overlooked.

Ortlund says that “it is not a matter of wishing or even praying that the committee members

would do their jobs well. Virtues can be fostered” (218). This is an area that I plan to do more

study on as it piqued my interest. I think that discernment is an important part of the Christian

life, and all Christians need to be educated in this area.

The other part of the book that I think will be a big help in my ministry is the section on

the process of transformation and the task of formation. Howard explains how it is “wise to

respect others at the faith stage they’ve reached instead of the one you’ve reached or the one you

want them to reach” (95). I can see this as a danger in ministry, wanting to teach people things

that you think are important—even though those things may be above the level of their spiritual

maturation. I can now better see the importance of really trying to examine those you are

teaching and to try and meet them where they are rather than trying to elevate them somewhere
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from your teaching. I think this is something that I will remember and put in to effect in the

future.

These are the two most impactful things that I gathered from this book. There was a lot of

information in it, and I think that if I give it some time and go back and re-read this at a later date

maybe more things will be impactful. But, at the time being a lot of this book did not speak to

me. These two things that did however will be important in my ministry going forward.

PRACTICING A NEW MEANS OF GRACE ENTRY

I chose to practice 2 hours of scripture meditation for my means of grace practice. The

scripture I chose was the required memorization text of Romans 6:1-14. In the process of

memorizing the scripture I really took it apart verse by verse. I wrote out each verse separately

on a page and I think the study of each verse individually reinforced the meaning of the text

much more than simply memorizing the words would have. I was able to see the progression of

dying to sin and coming out the other side living for God. Although I have read the chapter many

times in the past, by meditating on it verse by verse I was able to see the way Paul logically

connects the ideas.

I learned that this is an important part of studying the Scriptures. I have read the Bible

several times through, and studied chapters, and passages, and verses before, but this exercise

really showed the importance of meditating on Scripture. I found it was easier to remember the

words if I understood the ideas presented which will help my memorization going forward. I

definitely think that regular practice of this will improve my personal spiritual life. It is easy to

get into the mode of checking off boxes when reading scripture—trying to get a certain number
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of verses or chapters read and then moving on, but this exercise taught me the importance of

meditating on Scripture.

In the future I plan on incorporating this “means of grace” into my weekly habit of study.

I have no doubt that it will improve my understanding of God, and that it will help me with

recalling specific information and where it is found in the Bible. I also regularly spend time in

silence and solitude, which is another means of grace mentioned. I think that combining the two

could be accomplished as well. Often when observing silence and solitude my mind wanders and

it is a constant battle to keep focused on prayer or things of God. But, by incorporating scripture

into this time is a great idea. It seems so hard sometimes to find two hours to do these tasks, but I

think the real problem is just forgoing some other activities that have become habits over time

that really aren’t important they are just a convenient way of passing time. I will make an effort

to do more of this in the future.

COMMUNITY ENTRY – based on the reading of Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

Bonhoeffer in his book Life Together provides an excellent framework for community in

the Christian Church. Reading through the book I noticed how many of the ideas seem somewhat

antiquated in today’s society, but that does not mean they are not needed or effective. Many of

the things discussed are greatly needed in the church today.

The first idea that Bonhoeffer wrote about that spoke to me is that “The physical presence

of other Christians is a source of incomparable joy and strength to a believer” (3). This is

something that I have been thinking about for a while. Seeing the impact of Covid 19 on the

church has discouraged me at times. So many people have disconnected and either stopped

attending or now attend church virtually. The importance of meeting together in person has been
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lessened these last few years and it will have an impact on the health of the church and its

members in the years to come. Bonhoeffer goes on in this chapter to say how it is simply a gift of

grace that the church is able to meet, and that gift could be taken away at any time (4). This

statement is impactful when thinking of the circumstances in Germany at the time that

Bonhoeffer wrote this book.

The next idea that Bonhoeffer presents that still rings true today is the idea that many

Christians spend little to no time reading scripture because they either get bored or do not

understand it, and most unfortunately therefore do not know the Word of God. He says, “If it is

really true that it is hard for us, as adult Christians, to comprehend a chapter of the Old

Testament in its context, then that can only fill us with profound shame” (33). Rarely if ever do

we participate in communal reading of the scriptures in any meaningful way in many churches

today. Other than a few verses that may be read before a sermon, this is something that in my

experience is lacking. I do not know how to go about changing it as the problem seems to be

deeper than just incorporating reading into worship services. It seems that today there are more

distractions than ever, and reading has taken a back seat.

Singing in worship services is another area that Bonhoeffer makes a good point.

Although I think some of his statements regarding singing being unison singing only are

outdated and misleading, I think he makes a good point that often we misstep in worship. He

postures that “Whenever the singing is not to the Lord, it is singing to the honor of the self or the

music, and the new song becomes a song to idols (39). This is a strong statement and made me

think. As a music minister I take every precaution to not make the singing about us, or the people

on stage, or turning it into a performance. But these chapters reinforced how this has been an

issue for many years that we must guard against in our churches. Where in his day it may have
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been harmony singing or people who were moody who chose not to participate (41), in our day it

seems to be guarding against things unnecessarily being geared towards inciting emotions in the

congregation or being impressive to watch or being performed impeccably. This section of the

book made me think and consider some specific aspects of my ministry to guard against leading

people astray.

The final part of this book that spoke to me that seems to be lacking in the church of my

experiences is confession. He says, “Those who remain alone with their evil are left utterly

alone” (87). Many in the evangelical church today associate the word confession with Roman

Catholicism and either actively avoid it or just don’t think about it. As Bonhoeffer describes, this

is in error. He goes on to say that sin “takes them away from the community. The more lonely

people become, the more destructive the power of sin over them. The more deeply they become

entangled in it, the more unholy is their loneliness” (89). As ministers I think a better job needs

to be done educating the people on the importance of confession to a community and having

accountability partners or something similar to go to in times of guilt. I know in my own life

before I had close enough friends that I could confess sin to, I felt the weight of it more, even

after confessing it to God. There is something cleansing about confessing sin to other Christians.

I think this is an important practice that is lacking in many churches and I will be aware of it in

the future and try in some way to incorporate it into my ministry.

This book has some effective ideas for keeping the community of the church healthy.

Though some of the ideas he has written about seem to be less relevant than others, I think that

many of them are needed in the church today. This was a good read and will help my ministry be

more effective moving forward.

READING AND COMMUNITY GROUP PARTICIPATION

I completed about 98% of the required reading for this class. I did skim over the forwards

of one of the books to get right into the chapter readings and I may have skipped an afterward if

there was one. I read the chapters though from the authors who wrote the books. My community

group met 6 times total, once a week on Tuesday mornings at 7:30. My group was composed of

Andrew, Bradford, Luke, Sam, and myself. We had good discussions of the chapter readings and

only one meeting did we have a missing member. I attended all 6 meetings and completed all the

required readings. The scripture memorization was difficult for me, but I completed it to a rate of

about 85%. I had most of the ideas of the verses memorized but missed a few words here and

there and a couple of times in recitation at our last zoom meeting needed cues to help me with

the next verse. I chose Psalm 27 as my individual scripture to memorize apart from the required

2. The group activities were helpful and meaningful and provided a great way to get to know

other students as I am not ever on campus. It was meaningful to get to meet with them and

discuss and pray together.