Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet THE WORK OF BYRON KATIE© © 2019 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. thework.

hts reserved. thework.com 6 Feb. 2019

Think of a stressful situation with someone—for example, an argument. As you meditate on that specific time and place and begin to feel what that felt like, fill in the blanks below.
Use short, simple sentences

What is the situation? Meditate on an exact time & place _________________________________________________________________________

1 - SITUATION: In this situation, who angers, confuses, hurts, saddens, or disappoints you, and why? Example: I am angry with Paul because he lied to me.

I am ___________________ with __________________ because__________________________________________________________________

(emotion) (name)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2 - WANTS: In this situation, how do you want him/her to change? What do you want him/her to do? Example: I want Paul to see that he is wrong.
I want him to stop lying to me.

I want _____________________ to __________________________________________________________________________________________

(name)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3 - ADVICE: In this situation, what advice would you offer him/her? “He/she should/shouldn’t…” Example: Paul shouldn’t frighten me with his behavior.
He should take a deep breath.

__________________ should/shouldn’t _______________________________________________________________________________________

(name)

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4 - NEEDS: In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need him/her to think, say, feel, or do? Example: I need Paul to stop talking
over me. I need him to really listen to me.

I need _____________________ to __________________________________________________________________________________________

(name)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5 - COMPLAINTS: What do you think of him/her in this situation? Make a list. (It’s okay to be petty and judgmental.) Example: Paul is a liar, arrogant,
loud, dishonest, and unconscious.
____________________is__________________________________________________________________________________________________
(name)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6 - DON’T EVER WANT: What is it about this person and situation that you don’t ever want to experience again? Example: I don’t ever want Paul to lie
to me again. I don’t ever want to be disrespected again

I don’t ever want ________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Statement You’re Working On: ______________________________________________________________________________

QUESTION 1: Is it true? (if NO, go to question 3) YES or NO

QUESTION 2: Can you absolutely know that it’s true? YES or NO

QUESTION 3: How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? ___________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• Does that thought bring: PEACE or STRESS

• What images do you see?

o Past _________________________________________________________________________________________________________

o Future _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

o What physical sensations do you experience as you witness those images?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• Do any obsessions or addictions begin to appear when you believe that thought? Example: smoking, TV, Sex, Shopping, Food

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• In this situation how do you treat:

o The person ____________________________________________________________________________________________________

o Yourself ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

o Other people ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

• Other reactions, thoughts or one liners. ____________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Statement You’re Working On:

______________________________________________________________________________

QUESTION 3: How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? (continued) What emotions arise when you believe that thought?
Statement You’re Working On:

______________________________________________________________________________

QUESTION 4: Who (or what) would you be without the thought?

Statement You’re Working On:
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QUESTION 4 (continued): Who or what would you be without the thought?

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Statement You’re Working On: ______________________________________________________________________________

Turn Around: to the self (i.e., I hurt me): ______________________________________________________________________

Genuine examples of how, in that situation, this is equally as true if not truer:
1.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Turn Around: to the other (i.e., I hurt him): _____________________________________________________________________

Genuine examples of how, in that situation, this is equally as true if not truer:
1.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Turn Around: to the opposite (i.e., he didn’t hurt me; he helped me): ___________________________________________________

Genuine examples of how, in that situation, this is equally as true if not truer:
1.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.) ___________________________________________________________________________________
NOTES:

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I WANT ______________ TO:_______________________________________________________________________________

QUESTION 1: Is it true? (if NO, go to question 3) YES or NO

QUESTION 2: Can you absolutely know that it’s true? YES or NO

QUESTION 3: How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? ___________________________________________

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• Does that thought bring: PEACE or STRESS

• What images do you see?

o Past _________________________________________________________________________________________________________

o Future _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

o What physical sensations do you experience as you witness those images?

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• Do any obsessions or addictions begin to appear when you believe that thought? Example: smoking, TV, Sex, Shopping, Food

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• In this situation how do you treat:

o The person ____________________________________________________________________________________________________

o Yourself ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

o Other people ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

• Other reactions, thoughts or one liners. ____________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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I WANT ______________

TO:_______________________________________________________________________________

QQUESTION 3: How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? (continued) What emotions arise when you

believe that thought?

I WANT ______________

TO:_______________________________________________________________________________

QUESTION 4: Who or what would you be without

the thought?
I WANT ______________
TO:_______________________________________________________________________________

QUESTION 4 (continued): Who or what would you be without the thought?

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I WANT ______________

TO:_______________________________________________________________________________

Turnaround: to the self (i.e., I hurt me): ______________________________________________________________________

Genuine examples of how, in that situation, this is equally as true if not truer:
1.)

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Turnaround: to the other (i.e., I hurt him): _____________________________________________________________________

Genuine examples of how, in that situation, this is equally as true if not truer:
1.)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ 2.)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ 3.)

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Turnaround: to the opposite (i.e., he didn’t hurt me; he helped me): ___________________________________________________

Genuine examples of how, in that situation, this is equally as true if not truer:
1.)

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NOTES (WANTS):

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QUESTION 1: Is it true? (if NO, go to question 3) YES or NO

QUESTION 2: Can you absolutely know that it’s true? YES or NO

QUESTION 3: How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? ___________________________________________

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• Does that thought bring: PEACE or STRESS

• What images do you see?

o Past? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________

o Future? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

o What physical sensations do you experience as you witness those images?

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• Do any obsessions or addictions begin to appear when you believe that thought? Example: smoking, TV, Sex, Shopping, Food

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• In this situation how do you treat:

o The person ____________________________________________________________________________________________________

o Yourself ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

o Other people ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

• Other reactions, thoughts or one liners. ____________________________________________________________________________________

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______________ SHOULD:

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QUESTION 3: How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? (continued) What emotions arise when you

believe that thought?

______________ SHOULD:

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QUESTION 4: Who or what would you be without the thought?

______________ SHOULD:
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QUESTION 4 (continued): Who or what would you be without the thought?

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______________ SHOULD: ________________________________________________________________________________

Turnaround to the self (I hurt me): ______________________________________________________________________

Genuine examples of how, in that situation, this is equally as true if not truer:
1.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Turnaround to the other (I hurt him): _____________________________________________________________________

Genuine examples of how, in that situation, this is equally as true if not truer:
1.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Turnaround to the opposite (he didn’t hurt me; he helped me): ___________________________________________________

Genuine examples of how, in that situation, this is equally as true if not truer:
1.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.) ___________________________________________________________________________________
NOTES (SHOULDS):

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I NEED ______________ TO:_______________________________________________________________________________

QUESTION 1: Is it true? (if NO, go to question 3) YES or NO

QUESTION 2: Can you absolutely know that it’s true? YES or NO

QUESTION 3: How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? ___________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• Does that thought bring: PEACE or STRESS

• What images do you see?

o Past _________________________________________________________________________________________________________

o Future _______________________________________________________________________________________________________

o What physical sensations do you experience as you witness those images?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• Do any obsessions or addictions begin to appear when you believe that thought? Example: smoking, TV, Sex, Shopping, Food

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• In this situation how do you treat:

o The person ____________________________________________________________________________________________________

o Yourself ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

o Other people ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

• Other reactions, thoughts or one liners. ____________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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I NEED ______________

TO:_______________________________________________________________________________

QUESTION 3:How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? (continued) What emotions arise when you believe

that thought?
I NEED ______________

TO:_______________________________________________________________________________

QUESTION 4: Who or what would you be without the thought?

I NEED ______________
TO:_______________________________________________________________________________

QUESTION 4 (continued): Who or what would you be without the thought?

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I NEED ______________ TO:_______________________________________________________________________________

Turnaround to the self (I hurt me): ______________________________________________________________________

Genuine examples of how, in that situation, this is equally as true if not truer:
1.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Turnaround to the other (I hurt him): _____________________________________________________________________

Genuine examples of how, in that situation, this is equally as true if not truer:
1.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Turnaround to the opposite (he didn’t hurt me; he helped me): ___________________________________________________

Genuine examples of how, in that situation, this is equally as true if not truer:
1.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.) ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.) ___________________________________________________________________________________
NOTES (NEEDS):

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5 - COMPLAINTS: What do you think of him/her in this situation? Make a list. (It’s okay to be petty and judgmental.) Example: Paul is a liar, arrogant,
loud, dishonest, and unconscious.
____________________is__________________________________________________________________________________________________
(name)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

QUESTION 1: Is it true? (if NO, go to question 3) YES or NO

QUESTION 2: Can you absolutely know that it’s true? YES or NO

QUESTION 3: How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? ___________________________________________

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QUESTION 4: Who or what would you be without the thought?

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Turn the Whole Statement Around (I am rude, selfish, mean ; or he is kind, generous , friendly ; or he isn’t rude, he is polite ):

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6 - DON’T EVER WANT: What is it about this person and situation that you don’t ever want to experience again? Example: I don’t ever want Paul to lie
to me again. I don’t ever want to be disrespected again

I don’t ever want: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I am willing to: ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I look forward to:________________________________________________________________________________________________________

FINAL NOTES & THOUGHTS:

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