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Everything, Everything
By J. Mills Goodloe
This is my favorite room. Most
days I love it, because I can
imagine the glass falling away
and I'm outside. I don't leave
my house. I haven't left my
house in 17 years. If I went
outside, I'd die.
Sorry to sound morose.
Irradiators sterilize my
clothes. I own 100 white
T-shirts.
It's my standard uniform. The
airlock is a sealed room
surrounding the front door. It's
airtight. Nothing can leak into
the house when the door's open.
It's not that I don't want to go
outside. I can't. Simple viruses
can kill me. It's like I'm
allergic to everything. What I
eat, what I touch, they all have
consequences. I have severe
combined immunodeficiency. My
immune system sucks.
Here's a drawing to explain. In
every drop of blood there are
special cells called lymphocytes.
Some of these lymphocytes are
really good at fighting bad guys,
like viruses and bacteria. But I
have SCID, which means I have way
fewer lymphocytes than normal.
And the ones that I do have...
Well, they're not so good at
fighting. My mom made me join a

Page 1/26
support group. Some of them are
really sick.
Others have a hard time
with social interactions. At
least I have the Internet.
I exercise.
I read a lot of books.
When I'm done, I write short
reviews. I take an
architecture class online.
Whenever I make a new model,
I put an astronaut inside.
I can relate to him. I
feel like an astronaut,
stranded in space. Every
day feels exactly the
same. Maybe today's
different.
Hi. If you're going to have an
illness that requires someone to
constantly watch if you're still
breathing, it's convenient for
your mother to be a doctor. I
was diagnosed with SCID pretty
early. My mom figured out what
was wrong with me after eight
ear infections and two cases of
pneumonia. I couldn't gain any
weight as a baby. Most kids
don't make it past two years
old. Doctor Whittier.
Today's my birthday.
I'm 18. Which means nothing
inside here. This is the
face her patients normally
see, slightly distant,
concerned.
I wonder if they
find it comforting. I do.
You didn't have to take
the day off. I always take
the day off.
What do you want to do today?
Same thing we always do.
Spatlit...
What does that say?
Spotlight.

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No, it doesn't. You're not goo
at phonetic Scrabble. Because it
doesn't make any sense. You're
the one who always wants to
play. It was your dad's favorite
game.
Did he beat you, too?
Yeah.
But he let me win sometimes.
-I can't do that.
-Why not?
I'm in love with you.
Snap out of it!
I can't.
I'll get it.
Stay here. And you won't
come to the wedding. I'll
come to the wedding. I am
telling you you can't
come. Hi.
My mom sent a Bundt.
It's not very good. It's
kind of a thing our mom
does every time we move
in somewhere. She'll
make us bring one to the
neighbor, so... It's
actually more of, an
apology
than an introduction.
What's she apologizing for?
For moving in.
That's nice.
Actually, I can't
accept that.
Why not?
It's complicated. But
please thank your mother
for me, and welcome to
the neighborhood. Is
your daughter around?
So, that's why you came.
-That's not why I came.
-Yeah, it is. Yep.
No, she isn't.
You take the Bundt next time.
Right Wear it as a hat.

Page 3/26
Watch it. Madeline, do
you want to finish the
movie? I'd rather know
what a Bundt cake tastes
like.
It's dry. You're not missing
out on anything. No, just
everything. There's a short
list of people that know I'm
alive. My mom, my nurse,
Carla, and her daughter, Rosa.
I can't remember Carla not
being with us. She's been
working here for 15 years.
Sometimes, I think she's
trapped inside here with me.
Morning, Carla.
Feliz cumpleanos.
Thank you!
Thank you so much.
Una nota.
That's terrible.
Hi, Olly.
Hi, Maddy. I tell
myself I won' text
back immediately when
Olly texts me. And
then I text back.
Immediately.
Are you on house arrest?
Why do you think I'm on house
arrest? 'Cause I haven't seen
you outside once since we got
here. I'm not on house arrest,
but I can't leave the house.
Very mysterious.
Are you a ghost? 'Cause, it
would just my luck that the
girl next door is not
actually alive. I'm, like,
98% sure that I'm alive.
So, what is it? Is it a guy?
Are you knocked up?
My God.
Well, what if I was?
I'd be conflicted.
About what?

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Do you have a boyfriend? No.
I don't have a boyfriend, and
I'm not pregnant. Have you
spent all day thinking that I
was pregnant? Yeah, kind of.
I mean, it would have been
awkward flirting with a
pregnant girl, so... Right.
Don't you wanna know if I
have a girlfriend? No.
I'm hurt.
I mean, that stings.
So, where'd you
move here from? Boston, but I'm
from New York. I wanna move
back. I always imagined myself
working in a bakery in New York.
You know, like Nicolas Cage in
that movie, Moonstruck? No.
"Snap out of it!"
It's from the movie.
Yeah, I figured. All
right, here's a
game. Fast Five
Favorites.
-Okay?
-Okay. So, book,
word, color, vice,
person. Okay. All
right.
So, I guess...
Come on. Type faster.
Don't think about it.
Okay. All right.
The Little Prince.
Uxorious.
Aquamarine.
I don't have any vices.
And my mom.
Come on.
Everyone has vices. How many
vices do you have? Enough to
choose a favorite.
-Your turn.
-All right.
Lord of the Flies.
-Macabre.

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-Okay.
Black.
Petty theft.
And my sister.
Lord of the Flies?
So, you're bleak.
I've been told that I have
a poor outlook on life.
Right. Are your parents
still together? My dad's
dead, so, no. That was
really awkward.
I don't know why
I made that so...
-I shouldn't have asked.
-No, it's... He died in a
car accident with my
brother. I'm sorry.
You don't go to SF Valley High?
No, I don't go to school.
I go online.
Why?
I'm sick.
Are you dying?
Not right now.
Soon? If I left the house,
yeah, probably. What is it?
It's called severe combined
immunodeficiency. So, it
means my body can't fight
bacteria or infections. Is
there a cure?
For common kinds of SCID, yeah.
But I am very uncommon.
You're feeling sorry for me.
You're totally feeling sorry
for me. No, no, no. I...
Yeah.
I'm not feeling sorry for you.
You're alive now.
You have the Internet.
So, I don't feel sorry for you.
Good.
I wish I could
meet you in person.
Yeah. Me, too.

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Wait, come to the window.
What's so interesting on
that laptop? Nothing.
It's not nothing.
Something's making you laugh.
It's just cat videos.
You don't wanna see
this one, Carla. The
cat dies.
You're an idiot.
I'm not an idiot. You are an
idiot, and you're not a good
liar. You mean to tell me that
the only thing you could think to
say was that it was a dead cat?
So, you know?
If I didn't know before,
I do now. You're not very
good at hiding things. I
see you checking your
email and looking for him
out the window. Maybe he
could visit?
Teenagers are all the same.
Is that a no? He'd get
decontaminated, and it would
just be for a half hour. Are
you crazy? Wouldn't you be if
you'd been inside for 18 years?
No. He'd get decontaminated,
and then he'd sit across the
room from me, like, far, far
away. We can't always get what
we want. Your mother would
never let you.
We don't have to tell her.
Is it that easy to lie? You
know, it's easier than I
thought. You know what, I'm
gonna go home and look on
Rosa's Internet history.
Rosa's the only other person
allowed inside, but she's
leaving for Michigan in the
fall. She'll meet new
people, and I'll still be
here. What does he look
like?
Rosa.

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What?
Okay, I guess he's cute.
I don't believe you. Yeah,
maybe he is a figment of my
imagination. Just like a
really good-looking mirage.
Things are finally getting
interesting for you. And
I'm leaving. What are you
guys talking about?
Nothing. Come on, Rosa,
it's time for us to go
home. Connected to Oliver
Bright's iPhone.
I'm right here.
That was way too easy.
Hey, what you looking at?
Nothing.
Is that a new sweater?
Yeah.
Carla irradiated it.
And where'd you get it?
From Rosa.
It's nice.
You look pretty.
You listen to me. You stay
on your side of the room,
he stay on his. I already
told him the same thing.
What are you talking about?
You stay on your side, he
stays on his. -He's here.
-Who's here?
Olly.
Nod if you understand. I'm
worried you're losing your motor
skills. Why? Because I'm
terrible at saying no. Because
you deserve a little something.
Is that what you're gonna wear?
You just gonna stay over there?
Carla said that I had to stay as
far away from you as possible.
Cool.
You're standing really still.
Maybe you should come in.
Yeah. Yeah.

Page 8/26
I could do that.
You're really different than
I thought you were gonna be.
I know.
Sexier, right? I understand,
you're nervous. -It's all right,
you can admit it.
-I am nervous.
All right. Well, so am I.
I like this room.
Yeah. My mom built it so that I
could feel like I was outside.
Does it work?
Most days. I have a
really excellent
imagination. Princess
Madeline in her glass
castle. I'm not a
princess.
Good.
Because I'm not a prince. So,
how long have you been sick?
My whole life. I mean, what
would happen if you went
outside? Probably spontaneous
combustion. We'll stay inside.
Yeah, that's a good idea. Have
you ever left this house?
No.
Where would you go?
If you could.
The ocean.
The ocean? Why?
Well, it covers
72% of the planet.
And it's approximately
3 miles from here.
And I've never seen it.
It's a bad choice.
Why?
I'm assuming you can't swim.
Yeah, you're right.
But I'd like to try.
I respect the ocean. I mean, it's
beautiful. It's impersonal, it's
murderous. It's Mother Nature at

Page 9/26
her finest. I mean, the point of
waves is to suck your feet out from
under you so that you drown faster.
Right. Didn't see
that dark turn
coming. Yeah,
well...
I'm really good at handstands.
Yeah?
What else can you do?
Man. I'm afraid that's
pretty much it. You
didn't touch, right?
No.
No touching.
Your face!
What? Is it red?
I can see it. You're
completely gone and you
barely know him. I
thought you were on our
side! I'm just
facilitating. Do you,
think I could see him
again? In a week. I
wanna make sure you're
okay. What am I supposed
to do until then? When
was the last time you
posted a review? Hey,
where are you?
Skating in Venice.
Shit.
I'm sorry, Maddy.
No, no, no.
You should enjoy that.
For us both.
It's boring without you. What
makes you think that I'd make it
any better? Well, there are no
girls here, so who am I supposed
to show off to? So, listen, on
Tuesday,
Carla has the night off,
and my mom's working a
double shift, so I figured
maybe you'd come over and

Page 10/26
we could watch the
fireworks from the sunroom.
Wait, Tuesday?
That's July Fourth. Yeah.
Do you have plans or
something? No. I'm not
very popular.
Lucky for me then, I guess.
So, I guess I'll see
you then. All right.
I will see you then,
Maddy. Okay, bye,
Olly.
Bye.
I don't know how Carla and
I got our wires crossed.
I don't wanna leave you alone tonight.
It's the Fourth of July.
You know, I'll see if
someone can cover for me.
You know, I'll be fine.
-You sure?
-Yeah, I'll be okay.
What are you gonna do? I guess just
read a book or something. So,
calculus is the mathematics of
change. It, doesn't necessarily
predict the future, but it does
indicate it. Indicate what? Well,
that people are unpredictable. I
didn't really see you as a math
person. Why not? I guess 'cause
you're in summer school. Right.
Well, that's...
That's just 'cause my dad
moves around a lot. This
is an ellipsis. Does that
mean that we're having an
awkward silence or that
you're thinking? Both.
What are you thinking about? I'm
thinking that we should probably
agree to just be friends. I don't
think you have that kind of
restraint. Well, my life is an
exercise in restraint, so... Does
this mean I can't look at your
lips anymore? No.

Page 11/26
Your dimple?
I don't have dimples!
Your hair.
Friends!
Ellipsis. You make
me wanna stay in Los
Angeles. Why would
you go?
What are you doing?
I'm moving closer to you.
Is that okay?
Yes, it's okay.
Okay. I should tell you we
shouldn't push our luck, but I
can't. I don't want to.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Hello, Little Prince.
Is it always like that?
It's never like that.
Are you sure you're not sick?
You feel fine?
Yeah, I feel fine.
Better than fine, actually.
I feel pretty perfect.
Even though we touched?
We did.
Shared the same breath.
Yeah, we did.
Kissed.
Like I said, perfect.
Hey, goodnight.
Goodnight. I read once that we
change the upper layers of our
skin every two weeks. But some
of our cells don't renew. They
age, and age us. In two weeks,
my lips will have no memory of
kissing Olly. But my brain will
remember.
Yeah, that's right, -
walk away, Dad.
-Leave it alone, Olly.
Walk away! It's not your
problem, okay? It's not
my problem It's not my

Page 12/26
problem. You really just
say that to me right
now? Stay out of it!
-Stay out of it?
-Yeah. Stay out of it. How's
that? How's that for staying out
of it? -Really?
-Enough!
Madeline?
Olly!
-Maddy? Maddy, what are you doing?
-Are you okay?
Madeline?
Are you hurt?
Are you okay?
I'm okay. What are you doing?
Go back inside! Go!
Madeline! Madeline!
What are you doing?
I don't understand.
Why would you do that?
I'm sorry. I had to make
sure that he was okay. -
Did you touch anything?
-No.
Did you touch anything?
No, no. It was less than
a minute. A second is all
it takes.
I'm sorry. Why would you
risk your life for a total
stranger? I'm okay. He's not
a stranger, is he? We're
just friends online.
Online...
How could you?
She's right. Four hours soaking in
an antiseptic bath, and I could
still wake up tomorrow sick. Four
hours trying to remember everything
about being in the world. I can't
remember any of it. Just Olly
yelling at me to go inside. I'm
sorry Olly's in that situation. No
one deserves a father like that. I'm
sorry, too. Does it look like he's
okay? I don't know. I could have

Page 13/26
someone talk to him and see if he's
all right. I don't think he wants
anyone to know. He was trying to
protect his mom. He doesn't like
to talk about everything. I knew
something was different with you. I
should've known what it was the
moment he came offering Bundt cake.
You could've come to me, you know.
I wanted to. I just didn't want to
worry you. What's he like? Well, he
wears black, all of the time. But
he's not as cynical as he looks. He
needs a haircut.
Yeah, he does.
He's kind. We're both
really sleep deprived
from talking instead of
sleeping. But I'd rather
talk to him than sleep.
When I talk to him, I
feel like I'm outside.
He thinks that I'm
funny, smart, and
beautiful. In that
order.
As he should.
He sounds wonderful.
Yeah, he is. I wish
you could have more
than this. I know.
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault. Maui was
your dad's favorite place.
You were just a few months
old, before we knew why you
were always sick. I wish I
could remember them.
Maybe it'd be easier if
I couldn't. I love you,
you know. More than you
even know. You can't see
him again.
I haven't seen him.
Yes, you have. She was so alone
she needed... How could you let
him into this house? How could
you do this? How could you
invite a stranger in here? She

Page 14/26
needed it. It's not up to you to
decide what she needs. I am her
mother! You shouldn't be her
doctor, too. Excuse me.
Is she sick?
Did something happen?
She went outside because of him.
Because of you! And
she's been lying to me
for weeks. You have to
go.
Please, Mom.
It won't happen again.
No, it won't.
I'm sorry, Carla.
No.
I'm sorry. I know this
is sad for you both.
It is sad for me, too,
but it is time for
Carla to leave, now.
Your temperature is 103.
We have to wait and see
if it goes down.
If the fluids and
antibiotics work.
I'm not.
Good morning, Madeline.
You may address me as Nurse
Janet or Mrs. Pritchert.
Whichever you prefer.
Words spoken to the air
tend to go unheeded. Words
put to paper do not.
I miss Carla.
Well, Carla almost
got you killed.
She's my friend.
No, Madeline.
Carla was your nurse. She
was supposed to keep you
safe, not endanger your life
by inviting strangers into
the house. Olly isn't a
stranger.
He's not yours.
What?

Page 15/26
He's not yours. And maybe
he's interested in you now,
but he's out there. And he's
gonna meet some girl and he's
gonna be her Olly. You
understand me? If Carla was
your friend, she would have
told you that. Love can't
kill me, Mom.
That's not true.
You were lucky this time.
After what my mom said, I
started imagining this moment
where Olly pulls up in the
driveway. And there's this girl
in the truck. And the girl
laughs at something he says.
And puts her hand on his
shoulder. Smiles at him the way
I've smiled at him.
I feel silly. Why would anyone
set themselves up to have a
broken heart? He's going to
meet someone who isn't sick.
Someone who can leave her
house. Call him.
I can't.
I think my mom's right.
Then don't be a coward.
Pick up.
No.
Pick up!
Hi, Olly.
It's not true. It is. What
kind of future could you
have with me? I'm trying
to protect you.
Protect me? I don't want protection.
I want you. Well, we
can't have everything
that we want. You're not
mine.
What does that mean? There's
gonna be another girl, you'll
be her Olly. There is no
other girl. It's not safe. I
don't really think when I'm
around you. Thinking is

Page 16/26
overrated. This isn't going
anywhere. I don't wanna lose
you. I can't even go outside.
What are you really losing?
Dear Mom, The first thing is
that I love you. You already
know that, but I may not get
the chance to tell you again.
You are smart and strong and
kind and selfless. Because of
you, I've survived this long and
gotten to know my small part of
the world. But it's not enough.
I'm not doing this just because
of Olly. Or maybe I am. I found
this new part of myself when I
met him. And the new part
doesn't know how to stay quiet
and just observe. Do you
remember when we first read The
Little Prince together? I was so
upset that he died in the end. I
didn't understand how he could
choose death so that he could
get back to his rose. I think I
understand it now.
I'm not choosing death.
It's that if I don't go, I
won't really know what it's
like to be alive. I love
you.
Maddy.
Maddy, what the hell's...
Hey. Are you trying to kill
yourself? I've been doing
gene therapy. What are you
talking about? I didn't
want to tell you because I
didn't want to get your
hopes up. I mean, I don't
want to get my hopes up.
Gene therapy?
I've been on a trial.
Remember how I said that my
type of SCID was uncommon?
Yeah.
Well, I'm very common now.
I can go wherever I want.
What, you're not sick

Page 17/26
anymore? That's what I'm
trying to tell you. No...
No, I don't believe you.
Come on, let's go.
Have I ever lied
to you? No.
So, why would I start now? Look,
if you're not sick, then why does
it look like you're running away?
Well, my mom is still worried. I
knew it was too good to be true.
Just go back inside, come on.
No, Olly, I
have to know.
Know what? I need to know if
I'm still sick. And the only
way that I'll know is if I'm
outside.
Will you come with me?
Come with you where?
-Hawaii.
-Hawaii?
I bought plane tickets.
How? Credit cards are
surprisingly easy to get.
You're serious?
What's wrong with
Southern California?
-Look, stay here, all right?
-Okay.
Stay here.
Here.
Okay.
Wait.
Just try not to breathe.
Ready?
Just till Friday, okay?
And if anybody asks,
you don't know where I
am. No, I'm fine.
Just be good. And, take
care of Mom. We're going
really fast.
I'm going 30.
Is that fast?
No.

Page 18/26
Can we go faster?
Madeline?
Are you up?
Welcome aboard. All luggage
should fit in the overhead
compartment or under the
seat in front of you. How
you feeling?
Terrified.
You okay?
This is crazy.
Hi.
Aloha.
Aloha.
Don't die.
I'll try not to.
Big bed.
I found food.
That's very resourceful.
I wanna go in the water.
Okay. I wanna see a
humuhumunukunukuapua'a.
A what?
It's the Hawaiian state fish.
Say it.
You're setting me up to fail.
Where is your brother?
Summer school.
I don't think that's true.
I don't know where they
are. I'm asking you for
your help. Where's
Madeline?
I'm sorry.
Maddy?
You're in a swimsuit.
Yeah, I am.
It's...
It's...
Small.
It's small.
It's small.
Yeah.
-I'll just be out here.
-Yeah. Okay.

Page 19/26
Yes! This
umbrella's open
over here. My
God!
Ready? Just lie back.
Lay flat. Lay flat.
Together?
You know what?
I'll go first. Okay?
Yeah, you go first.
See you at the bottom. It's
strange, 'cause I don't even
remember them. I think it's
weird to miss something that
you never had. Or, you know,
don't remember having. Not so
weird. We came here before
they died.
And before I got sick.
Well, you're not sick now.
Why would you move?
You asked me that already.
Yeah, but you didn't answer.
My dad is not very good at
staying employed. And my mom
feels trapped. I just don't
know why she won't leave
him. Well, have you asked
her?
Yeah. She doesn't talk
about it anymore, but she
used to say that, "You'd
understand when you get
older "and when you have
your own relationships."
She says love makes
people crazy. Do you
believe that?
Do you?
Well, I mean, I'm here in
Hawaii with you, so...
I guess so. Are you
saying you're in love
with me? No. I...
I'm just saying... I
never would have left
my house if it weren't
for you. I love you.

Page 20/26
I...
I loved you before I
knew you. So, this
is my side.
This is... I
like to sleep
on the left.
Hey, Maddy.
Maddy, are you okay?
Maddy, are you okay?
Maddy, what's wrong?
Maddy, are you okay?
Okay. All right.
You're burning up.
Maddy? Maddy?
Maddy, can you hear me?
Got it.
Coming through. We just
gotta get her to triage.
Let's take her to Exam 2.
Could you give us a minute?
Madeline?
Madeline?
My heart stopped.
Then it started again.
When I woke up, he was
gone. No, no, no.
Lie down.
Lie down, honey.
Lie down.
Am I okay?
You're going to be.
Are you okay?
Yes.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah. I'm okay, Olly.
It's nice to be able to
talk to you again. I
tried to visit, but your
mom wouldn't let me.
Yeah, I'm sorry I put you
through all of that. I
can't do this anymore.
Can't do what?
No more texts.
No more emails.

Page 21/26
Olly, this is just too hard.
My mom was right, life was
better before. Better for
who?
Ellipses.
Don't do this, Maddy.
Ellipses. Look, my
life is better with
you in it. But mine
isn't.
You know, I
lied before.
About what?
I do feel sorry for you.
Tomorrow, I am back at the
hospital. Did you find me a good
babysitter? Actually, I've been
thinking maybe you don't need a
nurse. You learned a tough
lesson, and I can't imagine you
repeating it. No.
Good.
I wish you'd talk to me. I'll
never meet anyone like you,
Maddy. You look at the ocean
like it was meant for you. You
jump off cliffs even though
you can't swim. You think you
can find the meaning of life
in a book. You don't have any
vices.
You should really get some.
I'm trying not to love you.
But I'm failing.
This is my last email.
We're moving back to New York.
We're leaving tonight, when my
dad's out drinking. My mom
wants to do it at night,
because she's afraid she won't
be able to do it if he's right
in front of her. I finally
told her about you.
She thinks you're brave.
Being with you made me brave.
Hello?
-Madeline Whittier?

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-Yes. Hi, this is Dr. Melissa
Francis from Maui Memorial
Hospital. I was your attending
physician while you were here.
I'm just following up on your
lab results. Your myocarditis
was caused by a viral
infection. You seem to have a
very weak immune system. Well,
I have SCID. SCID? Really? Why
would you think that? I've had
it since I was a baby.
I don't know... If you had that
kind of severe
immunodeficiency, you probably
would have suffered more than
myocarditis. What's going on?
Am I sick?
What?
Am I sick?
Do you feel sick?
That's not what I mean. Do
you remember meeting a Dr.
Francis in Maui? I met lots
of doctors in Maui, why? She
doesn't think I have SCID.
And she got your hopes up,
didn't she? It was
irresponsible of her to do
that. S.C.I.D. is so rare
and so complicated. Not
everyone understands it.
There's just too many types.
And every person reacts
differently.
You get that, don't you?
Yeah, that's what you've
always told me. Well, you
just saw it for yourself.
You were fine for a little
while, and then you almost
died in that emergency room.
Immune systems are very
complicated. And Dr. Francis
doesn't know your full
medical history. She's just
looking at a tiny fraction.
She hasn't been here the
whole time like I have.

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Where are the papers, Mom?
What are you talking about?
You have records for
everything. But you have
nothing about SCID! Where
are the papers? Well, they
must be here because I
keep... I keep everything
and I...
Did you...
Did you take them?
The papers?
Madeline?
Madeline?
Madeline?
Madeline, what are you doing?
Are you okay?
Come inside, come inside.
Why? Why do I have to go
inside, Mom? Because
you're sick, baby.
You're sick.
No.
Madeline, please. Please.
I'm not going back inside.
You have to.
You're all I have left.
I can't lose you.
Please.
Have I ever been sick?
Come inside.
Come inside.
Come inside, Madeline.
Madeline, don't.
Madeline, don't.
Madeline.
Madeline!
Madeline! We're not sure about
the state of your immune system.
We think it's possible that it's
underdeveloped, like an infant's.
It hasn't been exposed to common
viruses or bacterial infections.
You don't have S.C.I.D.
Why did I get sick in Hawaii?
Well, normal, healthy people

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get sick all the time. I
brought you some of your
things. I'm only taking it
because I want you to leave.
Right after your dad and your
brother died, you got so sick.
You wouldn't breathe right. And
I took you to the emergency
room, where we had to stay for
three days, and they couldn't
figure out what was wrong with
you. They said it was probably
some kind of allergy, and they
gave me a list of things to
stay away from and... I was...
I was so sure it
was something else.
I love you, Maddy.
And I hope you still love me.
I'm so sorry. The universe
already took my dad and brother
away from my mom. She was afraid
to lose me, too. So she made
herself believe that I was sick.
I can understand how she felt.
Almost. I'm trying to. My mother
loved my father. He was the love
of her life. And she loved my
brother.
He was the love of her life.
And she loves me.
I am the love of her life.
I want to forgive her. But
right now, all I can think
about is everything I've
missed. I've been trying to
find the single moment that
set my life on its path. Maybe
there's a version of my life
where I'm sick. A version
where I die in Hawaii. Another
where my father and brother
are still alive and my
mother's not broken. There's
even a version of my life
without Olly in it. Hi.
Hey. Do you ever wonder what
your life would be like if you
could just change one thing?

Page 25/26
What if changing one thing
made things worse?
What if we hadn't
met? But we did.
We did. I'm sorry that
I didn't say goodbye.
Are you sure you
should be here?
Probably not. What if
today was the first
day that we met? Okay.
I'm so happy to meet you.
I'm so happy to meet you, too.
Pix

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