C3 - Communication Skill in Counselling

Topic  Communication
Skills in
3 Counselling
LEARNING OUTCOMES
By the end of this topic, you should be able to:
1. Define the procedures involved in providing counselling space,
client recruitment and giving confidentiality assurance;
2. Explain counselling procedures and client interview;
3. State how non-verbal behaviour can influence the counselling
process and the client; and
4. Discuss basic communication skills in counselling.
 INTRODUCTION
This topic will introduce learners to the scenario at and happenings during
the counselling process in order to help counsellors comprehend on how to initiate
the counselling session and how to prepare the appropriate environment for
counselling. The topic will also discuss basic skills which must be acquired
by counsellors at the initial stage of counselling. Before the start of the counselling
session, the counsellor must make early preparations for a suitable place,
set procedures for client recruitment (for example, problematic students) as well
as give assurances and guarantees the clients that the discussions during the
sessions are treated as confidential. Moreover, there will be explanations on the
specific skills which form the basis for all counselling approaches in order to
produce the therapeutic effects as well as basic communication skills in
counselling.
Copyright © Open University Malaysia (OUM)

TOPIC 3 COMMUNICATION SKILLS IN COUNSELLING  61
3.1 LEARNING ABOUT COUNSELLING SKILLS

A counsellor hones his counselling skills through learning about and applying
them. The learning process focuses on cognitive learning whereby the counsellor
reads books, attends lectures, seminars and participates in discussions with others
who are involved in fields related to counselling and psychology. The counsellor
needs to take the opportunity to observe demonstrations on how specific
approaches in counselling are implemented. Nowadays there are many video and
audio materials which are produced specifically for the training of counsellors.
The application process focuses on direct practices. A counsellor has the chance
to act out the actions of another counsellor who modelled for him or the one
whom he observed through the videos. During the process, the counsellor also
enhances his skills through the practice of giving appropriate responses and
acquiring feedback from his classmates regarding the patterns of his behaviour.
The counsellor will obtain feedback from his supervisor regarding the counselling
practice which is often conducted in the form of acting (role play) or through
counselling with a real client.
It is not uncommon for a counsellor to feel perplexed or puzzled at the initial stage
of counselling application practice. The counsellor might possess the knowledge
of various counselling theories from his reading or studies during lectures.
The counsellor might also be able to discuss intellectually on the differences from
one theory to another. However, to be an effective counsellor, he must shape his
communication skills ă a highly important skill in counselling. This skill cannot be
inculcated merely through reading and attending lectures. It must be practised
repeatedly.
According to McLeod (2013), counselling involves the dynamic communication

process between two individuals who interact with each other (Figure 3.1).
The interaction process is a joined effort. The counsellor and the client carry
specific responsibilities, roles and behaviours. The counsellor is responsible for
providing an appropriate environment and ambience in order to carry out the
counselling session effectively and comfortably.

62  TOPIC 3 COMMUNICATION SKILLS IN COUNSELLING
Figure 3.1: The dynamic communication process between a counsellor and his client
Source: McLeod (2014)
When the counselling session begins, the main purpose of a counsellor is to

build a trusting relationship with the client, to create a calm environment or
an environment which is regarded as having therapeutic characteristics. The
existence of this environment depends on the counsellorÊs personality and how
best a counsellor is able to communicate the characteristics as discussed in
Topics 1 and 2.
Nevertheless, there are several important skills that a counsellor must be able to
perform so that the counsellor-client interaction is effective. The skills discussed
here refer to the ability to observe non-verbal behaviour, engage in attending
behaviour, ask open-ended questions, „listen‰ to unexpressed utterances and
summarise the conversation. These skills will be elaborated in the following
subtopics.
3.2 EARLY PREPARATION

Early preparation is important before a counsellor meets his client. Early
preparation will enable the counsellor to conduct his counselling session smoothly.
3.2.1 Meeting Environment

One of the highlighted considerations in counselling is the meeting place.
One study reported that the size of the room can influence the counselling process.
For example, a smaller room is more likely to make the client express less positive
statements when referring to himself.

In another study, it is found that the client will feel more at ease pouring his
heart out to the counsellor if the room décor projects a soft, tender or calm effect
(such as the use of pastel colours) when compared to the room which appears to
be tense, loud or „busy‰ (such as using vivid colours like red). Studies on seating
arrangement show that a client who is dependent and easily gives up will choose
a seat farther away from the counsellor as compared to a client who is confident,
dominant and free-spirited. Refer to at Figure 3.2 for an example of the seating
arrangement in a counsellorÊs room.
Figure 3.2: An example of the seating arrangement in a counsellorÊs room
Even though studies have shown the correlation between the environment and the
effectiveness of counselling, unfortunately, a counsellor usually does not have the
power in getting the ideal room setting. In certain schools for instance, counsellors
are not equipped with a special counselling room. Meetings for counselling
purposes are conducted in any available or unused room.
As a counsellor, you must realise that the meeting between you and your client
could be a cause of stress and fear for the client. Therefore, a client must be
provided with an atmosphere which can make him or her feel safe and
comfortable. The conversation between you and the client must not be overheard
by other people who may happen to pass by the room. Usually, the counsellor will
prepare a place which is modest, cheerful with no barriers (such as a table)
between the client and the counsellorÊs chairs. We must also remember that too
much decoration in the counselling room can cause the clientÊs focus to shift away
from the counsellor.

ACTIVITY 3.1
Given that many schools do not have a special counselling room, what
are the appropriate locations to conduct the counselling session at the
school?
How can a counsellor make these places safe and comfortable for his
clients?
Share your answers with your coursemates in the myINSPIRE forum.
3.2.2 Procedure for Accepting Clients

Generally, a client starts the counselling session by filling in a form providing
information about his background. Some counsellors make it compulsory for the
client to answer certain questions such as a career test or personality questionnaire
if the counsellor thinks that it will help the client. In some institutions of higher
learning, apart from the above-mentioned tests, clients are also involved in a short
interview which is usually conducted by the counsellorÊs assistant as part of the
process of client recruitment. Counsellors in schools do not have to carry out these
formal procedures as there is usually no sufficient time to do so.
The recruitment procedure is necessary to acquire the clientÊs case history.

A clientÊs case history is the information fact on past and present experiences
which are related to the clientÊs career. It can also be related to the clientÊs early
childhood experiences.
3.2.3 Counsellor and Confidentiality

Whatever is discussed during the counselling session is deemed confidential.
A counsellor has the responsibility to respect and maintain the clientÊs secrets
unless there is written consent to not do so. The relationship between the
counsellor and the client is unique. A client should feel at ease to discuss matters
with his counsellor. The discussion may be about matters which are emotional,
which causes fear and anxiety in him or those which the client has kept to himself
all this while.

As long as the client puts his trust and hope in the counsellor, the counsellor
should respect the client by keeping his secrets. In other words, since there is a
close connection between trust and confidentiality, a counsellor must always
respect the clientÊs rights and not leak out his clientÊs confidential information to
other people unless it is with the clientÊs consent or if he is compelled by the courts
to disclose them.
A counsellor must also appear as a person who can be relied on in building

the clientÊs trust, not only by adhering to the promises made or for the sake of
being courteous (Luxmoore, 2014). A counsellor who could not be on time for his
consultation session will be perceived by the client as an unreliable counsellor.
ACTIVITY 3.2
Provide examples of your own to show how a counsellor can appear as

someone who is trustworthy and dependable.
Share your answers in the myINSPIRE online forum.
3.3 FIRST COUNSELLING INTERVIEW

To conduct a counselling session, there is a specific procedure which must be
followed. Nelson-Jones (2012) proposed a counselling specific produre that a
process of several moves from one phase to another in an expected sequence.
There is a beginning, a mid session and an end. Thus, a counsellor needs to know
the appropriate procedure: how to begin, continue and end the interview.
Figure 3.3 shows the counselling interview or consultation procedure.

Figure 3.3: Counselling interview or consultation procedure

Source: Nelson-Jones (2012)
3.3.1 Beginning a Session

In this subtopic, we will discuss how to begin a counselling session either by a
trainee counsellor or an expert counsellor. After the counsellor is introduced to the
client, it is best for the counsellor to address the client by his name, at least once.
The counsellor can take a few minutes to have a short chat to help the client lessen
his anxiety. However, do not spend too long with small talk as it could shift the
clientÊs focus away from the real issue. A counsellor might want to begin the
counselling session by making the following statements:
(a) „We have about 30 minutes. Could you please tell me what it is that you
would like to talk to me about and how I might be of help to you?‰
(b) „We are given about one hour. You can go ahead and tell me what it is that
you would like to share with me.‰
(c) „Can you please tell me what you expect from a counsellor? We have about
45 minutes.‰
(d) „Please tell me how I can help you. We have about 30 minutes.‰

The examples given are, in fact, establishing the counselling structure. Firstly,
the client is given the idea of a time limit. Secondly, the counsellor makes a
statement which shows that the responsibility of directing the consultation is upon
the client. Therefore, it is up to the client to use the allocated time wisely.
Clients who are sent to the counsellor by a third party such as the parents or the
court are usually more anxious. Most of the time, this type of client is less
cooperative during the counselling session. Such situation requires the counsellor
to make extra preparation. What is most vital is that the counsellor is able to
convey his understanding and concerns towards the client. In such cases, the
counsellor might try to retrieve information from the client regarding the reason
why he has been referred to the counsellor. After that, the counsellor may allow
the client to choose the topic of conversation, one which the client deems as not
stressful to him.
The counsellor must be careful to avoid any prejudices towards the problem(s)
faced by the client. The counsellor can refrain from giving unpleasant remarks to
the client. For example, if the client is referred to the counsellor because he was
involved in a fight at the school field, a counsellor must not let his prejudice
(a student who fights is more often than not a malevolent, cheater, aggressive, etc.)
influences the way he communicates with the client such as reprimanding,
pestering and showing a lack of interest.
ACTIVITY 3.3
Amin, a student, has threatened his teacher, Pn Siti. En Baharum,

the principal, has instructed Amin to go through a counselling session
with you. This is his first session. Imagine how you are going to conduct
the session. Act out or role-play with your classmate. Obtain feedback
from other coursemates and your tutor.

3.3.2 Structuring the Consultation Session

A counsellor must be careful with the aspect of structuring the consultation session
as well as the long-term counselling relationship. Structuring the consultation is
important to the client because it will give him an expectation of the counselling
process. Clients often have the wrong impression towards counselling. Some
clients assume that counselling can heal illnesses and is able to solve problems
quickly. Others consider counsellors as people who merely give advice. Many
people assume that the success of counselling depends solely on the counsellor.
All these unrealistic beliefs need to be clarified at the initial stage before the
counselling session continues further.
During the first meeting, the counsellor must justify to the client the following
matters:
(a) Role of the counsellor;
(b) Role of the client;
(c) ClientÊs purpose of meeting the counsellor; and
(d) Confidentiality in counselling.
These matters must be made as simple and as clear as it can be to the client. Then
the counsellor can start the inquiry according to what has been proposed such as
what made the client seek help from the counsellor and what is expected to be
achieved (the counselling goal).
After listening attentively to the clientÊs rationalisation, only then can the
counsellor react to the clientÊs expectation. Thereafter, the consultation can carry
on with the topic or subject that the client has chosen.
During this first meeting, the counsellor must use the time allocated to the client
and set the time according to what has been agreed upon so that it will be part of
the structuring process. The consultation duration usually depends on the age of
the client and the atmosphere where the counselling service is conducted.
As a guide, for 8 to 12 year old students, the duration for counselling is from
30 to 45 minutes. For students who are twelve years and above, the duration can
be from 45 minutes to an hour.

As a counsellor, you must inform the client that the consultation will take about
30 minutes, for instance, at the initial stage of the counselling session. This
information is important because the client needs to understand that there is time
limit to express his problems and the client needs to use the time wisely to discuss
relevant matters only. Counsellors who do not explain the time limit to their clients
often encounter clients who try to express their problems at length and this makes
the clients angry when the session ends. When this happens, it is unproductive for
both parties.
To avoid this from happening, you must inform your client during the middle of
the consultation session about the remaining time so that he can explore matters
which are more relevant before the session ends. Clients usually get carried
away with their problem and are unaware of the time. For instance, by saying,
„Madiha, we have ten more minutes. What else would you want to talk about?‰
the clients will be aware of the time and will focus on the discussion by taking into
account the remaining session time.
3.3.3 First Session Goals (Explaining the Session

Goals)
The first meeting is very important because the client will start to build trust in
the counsellor. Everything the client does during consultation will be observed by
the counsellor. The main goal of the first session is to build a good relationship
with the client so that future consultations will be easier and more comfortable.
Other appropriate goals for this stage are:
(a) To stimulate initial discussion with the client so that the client can express
his problem(s) openly and sincerely as well as important matters to be
discussed and the background information relating to the problem;
(b) To observe the clientÊs problem(s) while demonstrating openness and

respect, and conveying trust to the client, projecting that the counsellor is
honest and sincere in wanting to help the client;
(c) To convince the client that something beneficial might be achieved during
the counselling session;
(d) To identify specific problem(s) to be explored further or to be discussed in

future sessions; and
(e) To find information about how the client perceives the problem(s) and his
thoughts regarding the ways to overcome it.

SELF-CHECK 3.1
What are the goals that counsellors wish to achieve during the first
session?
3.3.4 Ending the First Session

At the end of the first session, the counsellor and the client must decide on whether
it is necessary to schedule the next meeting. If both of them have decided to meet
again at the next session, the counsellor must take note of the appointment and set
the day and time which is appropriate for both of them. At the end of the first
session, the counsellor must determine whether the client needs to be referred to
another counsellor or agency in order to receive better counselling.
3.3.5 Making References

There may be times when a counsellor is not able to continue the counselling
process because he may be limited by his ability to overcome the problem. As such,
the counsellor needs to refer the client to another more suitable counsellor or
agency. At this point, the counsellor should not consider himself as incompetent
simply because he needs to refer the client to other counsellors. In reality, the
counsellor must have the skills to recognise such situations. It is important for a
counsellor to know when he can offer himself to conduct the counselling and when
he needs to refer the client to another counsellor. It is unrealistic for the counsellor
to believe that he has the ability to counsel all clients and help them solve every
problem.
The following situations describe when it is necessary for a client to be referred to

other counsellors or to be sent to other agencies:
(a) The client poses a problematic situation which is beyond the counsellorÊs
ability to help him;
(b) The counsellor feels that the clientÊs personality is similar to his personality
and this interferes with the counselling process, making it difficult to achieve
an effective solution;
(c) The client is either a friend, relative or family member. It is often difficult,
even discouraging, to continue the long-term counselling relationship with a
friend or a relative;

(d) The client refuses to explain or disclose his problem to the counsellor because
of some unknown reasons; and
(e) After a few sessions with the client, the counsellor finds that the relationship
with the client is ineffective.
SELF-CHECK 3.2
What are the early preparations that a counsellor should take care of
before meeting the client for the first time?
3.4 SPECIFIC SKILLS

This subtopic will explain the specific skills which must be applied so that the
counselling process runs smoothly. It does not matter what approach is being used
because these skills are important and practical and apply to all the approaches.
The definition, the use and the estimation of clientÊs acceptance of each skill will
be explained further.
3.4.1 Non-verbal Behaviour

According to Luxmoore (2014), individuals reveal information about themselves
through expressions, gestures and the way they differentiate themselves from
other people. Sometimes we reveal information about ourselves unknowingly
through our feelings, thoughts and reactions toward other people or situations.
This is done even though we have not uttered a single word! In other words,
we communicate through our non-verbal cues. Non-verbal behaviour plays a very
important role in the communication process. Research has shown that the
meanings conveyed through non-verbal language is more accurate compared to
what is being said.

Counselling theorists and practitioners acknowledged the importance of

non-verbal behaviour in the counselling process (Luxmoore, 2014). Complicated
non-verbal and verbal messages comes from the client as a part of the counselling
process. The counsellor must be skilled in making observations and giving
responses to clients who send non-verbal messages. At the same time, the
counsellor must also realise the impact of his non-verbal responses and messages
toward his client during counselling.
Regarding non-verbal behaviour, Luxmoore (2014) suggested that counsellors

need to know the following:
(a) Types of Non-verbal Behaviour

The counsellor must recognise at least three types of non-verbal behaviour.
The behaviour can be categorised by gestures, tone of voice and the
atmosphere (refer to Figure 3.4).
Figure 3.4: Types of non-verbal behaviour

Source: Luxmoore (2014)
Luxmoore (2014) states some examples of non-verbal behaviour which are

listed in Table 3.1. You are advised to intepret each non-verbal behaviour so
that it will be easier for you to recognise the behaviour and the meaning
when you observe your client during the session.

Table 3.1: Examples of Non-verbal Behaviour
Behaviour Type Behaviour Part Example of Non-verbal Behaviour
Gestures Focus of the eyes Ć Staring at an object in a room

Ć Looking down
Ć Looks at the counsellor but turns away
when the counsellor looks at the client
Ć Covering the eyes with hands
Ć Frequently looks at other people
Ć Staring at the counsellor
Eyes Ć Gleaming
Ć Tears streaming down
Ć Eyes wide open
Ć Blinking eyes
Sitting position Ć Showing eagerness to give response

(shows whether
Ć Sitting in an exhausted posture
a person is active
or tired) Ć Sitting and looking down
Ć Swaying the leg
Facial expressions Ć Nonchalant

(usually involve
Ć Frowning
the emotions)
Ć Smiling or chuckling
Ć Biting the lip
Ć Pouting
Hand and arm Ć Gestures showing size dimensions

gestures
Ć Showing how to do something
Ć Biting finger nail(s)
Ć Scratching head
Ć Pulling or tugging hair

Tone of voice Speed of talking Ć Fast

Ć Average
Ć Slow
Voice pitch Ć High

Ć Average
Ć Low
Language Ć Harsh
Ć Soft
Ć Cynical
Ć Teasing
Atmosphere Spacing Ć Withdraw when other people reaches

forward
Ć Reaches forward when other people
withdraws
Ć Lessening the space
Physical condition Ć Tidy and neat

and position
Ć Untidy and messy
Ć Cheerful
Ć Lavish
Appearance Ć Lewd
(usually depicts
Ć Neat
the personality)
Ć Fashionable
Ć Casual

(b) Interpreting Non-verbal Behaviour

It is crucial to note that non-verbal behaviour can be interpreted to give
us the impression of the feelings and motives of a client at that time.
However, it is not the evidence of the clientÊs feelings and motives. The
counsellor must interpret and make tentative interpretations. Counsellors
must also remember that certain non-verbal behaviour could represent two
contradictory meanings, especially if the client comes from different cultures.
The non-verbal behaviour displayed by the client during the counselling
consultation is, for certain, very useful for the counsellor. It can provide more
information about the clientÊs feelings and thoughts, apart from what the
client has mentioned to the counsellor. Noticeably, the client usually sends a
message through his speech. However, it can project a different meaning
through their non-verbal cues such as tone of voice, facial expression or
posture.
Figure 3.5: Different posture can convey different messages

Source: www.sing.co.jp/manabi/eigo/gestures.htm
One of the goals of the counselling process is to encourage the client to openly
express his feelings. As a counsellor, you must always be sensitive and quick
to realise that what the client is saying may not be what he really feels. It is your
ability to empathise with your client. Usually this can be achieved by observing
the non-verbal behaviour of your client during the consultation session.
By understanding the clientÊs non-verbal cues (for example, Figure 3.5), you will
be able to encourage the client to be more open in expressing his personal feelings.

SELF-CHECK 3.3
State the three types of non-verbal behaviour. For each type, provide the
definition and some examples.
3.4.2 Non-verbal Behaviour and Counsellor

During the counselling session, your non-verbal behaviour also communicates
the unstated feeling and it has an impact on the client. In fact, your tone of voice,
facial expression and gesture when you are talking also influence the clientÊs
perception towards you. Expressions such as, „Is this counsellor concerned with
helping me?‰, „Does he believe what IÊve just said?‰, „Is this counsellor looking
down on me?‰ just goes to show that the client is trying to interpret your
non-verbal behaviour.
The answers to these questions come from the interpretations of your client
through observing your behaviour during consultation. Therefore, while you
should develop the skills to interpret the clientÊs non-verbal behaviour, you must
also be careful about your verbal and non-verbal communication. This skill, called
„focusing skill‰ means giving full attention physically to oneself as a counsellor.
Focusing Skill
Try to imagine these situations:
(a) The father reads the newspaper while the teenage son is trying to say
something to the father.
(b) The employee says something important to the employer but the employer
continues to write and did not glance at the employee while he was talking.
(c) A mother gives advice to her child who is reading.

You might have listened to someone complaining about having to experience

one of the situations mentioned. We often fail to utilise the focusing skills
even though it is fundamental in a relationship when interacting with other people
(see Figure 3.6).
Figure 3.6: Focusing skills

Each of these focusing skills will now be discussed in the detail.
(a) Eye Focus

It is very important for a counsellor to apply eye focus on the client.
However, bear in mind that this is not the same case as gawking! Looking
straight into the eyes of someone could cause anxiousness. Some cultures
regard looking straight into the eyes of someone as impolite. Focusing eyes
on the client means that the counsellor could observe the clientÊs reactions
when he makes a statement. Does the eye reaction imply that the statement
was made honestly, anxiously or fearfully? Eye focusing must be done in a
casual manner.
(b) Open Posture

An open posture implies that the counsellor is concerned about how the way
he sits can communicate that he is focusing his attention on the client or
showing interests in what the client has to say to him.
(c) Facing the Individual

The counsellor must ensure that there is no barrier such as a table or other
furniture between him and the client. Facing the client indicates participation
in the discussion.

(d) Leaning Forward

A close proximity to the client can also indicate participation. Some
counsellors initially lean on the chair but as the client continues expressing,
they start to lean forward a little. This means that the counsellor is interested
to listen to further explanations from the client.
(e) Calm and Relaxed

Since most of the time a client comes with a worried and anxious condition,
it is important for the counsellor to demonstrate a calm and relaxed
disposition. This will help the client to feel more at ease when relating his
story or problem and the presence of a counsellor will not add more stress to
him.
ACTIVITY 3.4
1. When speaking to a friend, try to observe his reactions when you

engage in non-verbal behaviours used by counsellors.
2. One of the counselling skills is to be observant of our own

non-verbal behaviour. Explain the behaviour.
Share your findings with your coursemates in the myINSPIRE online

forum.
3.5 BASIC COMMUNICATION SKILLS

There are seven basic communication skills which must be practised during the
counselling process. An expert counsellor will usually implement the skills
without thinking much about it. We can say that the mastery of these skills is the
one that distinguishes between an expert counsellor and a novice counsellor.
McLeod (2013) argued that there are seven basic communication skills that
counsellors should be aware of as follows:
(a) Asking Open-ended Questions

To get more information about the client, as a counsellor, you an use
questioning which can stimulate the client to explain further about the topic
of discussion such as, „After the fight, what happened next?‰ Open-ended
questions invite the client to answer more than just saying „yes‰ or „no‰.
Examples of open-ended questions and close-ended questions are as follows:

Open-ended Questions
 What are we going to discuss today?
 How do you feel after what he did?
 Tell me what are the things that always worry you?
Close-ended Questions
 What time did you reach home last night?
 How long has this been happening?
 Where did you go after that?
 Was he mad at you?
Open-ended question encourages a client to share information with you.

Through questioning, you put the responsibility on the client to answer.
The client has the freedom of choice in answering by not having to adhere to
your opinion or view. Through this method also the client is free to explore
his feelings, values and attitude regarding his problem. On the contrary,
close-ended questions only produces responses which are merely factual
and not relevant to the problem, no more than just to satisfy the curiosity of
the counsellor.
Open-ended questions are used during specific situations as follows:
(i) The Beginning of a Consultation Session

Example: „What has happened since we met last week?‰
(ii) It Helps the Client to Elaborate on Certain Matters

Example: „Can you elaborate on that? How do you feel when that
happens?‰
(iii) It Helps the Counsellor to Acquire More Specific Examples on Certain

Behaviour
Example: „Can you give me an example? What do you mean when you
said ÂI am exasperatedÊ?‰
(iv) It Helps the Client to Focus on His Feelings

Example: „How do you feel now after discussing about the issue?
How did you feel back then?‰
Questioning Taboo
Even though the use of open-ended questions is highly valuable in the
counselling process, most counsellors over-use or rely too much on posing
questions to stimulate the counselling process. It could be due to the inability
of the counsellors to master other ways to stimulate a response from the
client. The risk of relying too much on questioning is:
(i) It becomes a boring investigation or interrogation process;
(ii) The consultation process shifts from focusing on feelings to cognitive;

and
(iii) The flow of discussion becomes uncontrollable.
(b) Responding to Silence

Silence means the counsellor does not give any comments or questions as a
response to the clientÊs statement but stays quiet and allows the client to keep
on talking as shown in Figure 3.7. A counsellor usually needs a chance to see
his clientÊs feelings, attitude, values and behaviour. At the initial stage,
clients would want someone to listen to them without offering any
comments.
Figure 3.7: Client expressing his feeling

Source: http://www.teamprevent.co.uk/
The counsellor might feel strange when there is a time gap which is not
filled with a discussion even if it is just for a short while. However, if the
counsellor is sensitive towards the value of silence and can make good use
of the „timing‰ of when to be quiet and when to ask for further explanations,
the counsellor will gain much benefit from it.

Firstly, silence reminds the client that it is his responsibility to talk during a
counselling consultation. Secondly, silence allows the client to verify what he
is thinking, what he is feeling and allows time to derive at a conclusion on
the implications of the discussion during the counselling session. The client
needs time to reflect and process what has happened without any pressure
to answer the counsellorÊs question about his feelings and thoughts.
At the same time, silence during an interview with the client can also imply
other meanings. It can mean that the client feels uneasy because he was
referred to a counsellor. It can also imply that he is refusing to cooperate with
the counsellor, as what we have mentioned earlier.
Silence could also mean that both the client and the counsellor have arrived
at a dead end in their discussion. In this situation, the question is whether
the counsellor should play his role to initate the conversation and end the
silence. If the silence is started by the client, it is best for the counsellor to
make responses such as „You seem to be thinking of something really deep,
let us discuss what you were thinking about just now.‰ Or „You seem quiet,
could it be that you are angry because you were sent here or maybe there is
something else perhaps?‰
As a conclusion, silence in the context of conducting the counselling is

beneficial. Allowing the discussion to be silent for a while shows that the
counsellor cares about the client and demonstrates his acceptance of the
client. It shows the willingness of the counsellor to provide an opportunity
for the client to filter his thoughts first before talking, by not pressuring the
client to respond immediately.
(c) Listening
Listening in the context of counselling refers to receiving messages
cautiously and giving accurate responses to the message which was just
heard. It requires a higher level of hearing than during normal conversation.
The listening skill of a counsellor is very important as it forms the basis of
counselling effectiveness. By listening to the statements made by the client,
the counsellor would be able to give feedback on the clientÊs feelings and
thoughts (Figure 3.8).

Figure 3.8: Counsellors giving right responses by listening to their clients

Source: http://www.rhodescollege.ca and www.betterhelp.com
At another level, what is heard by the counsellor is interpreted as another

meaning, a more accurate meaning according to the messages sent.
The interpretation is a must because human beings generally do not
communicate accurately. When we speak, we have the tendency to talk
evasively. What we say may not convey what we think and how we feel.
Therefore, the process of listening needs the integration of restating and

feeling reflection skills. Listening actually has a therapeutic value where it is
perceived by the client that he is being heard and understood by someone.
Ordinarily, when we speak with other people during a social meeting,

we rarely take time to observe attentively to what is being said. But when
there is someone who listens attentively and understands what we are trying
to convey, we will usually feel better. This might be the reason why the
client feels nurtured because there is someone who really listens to his
dissatisfactions, tries to understand him and his thoughts, and offer accurate
responses, something which he may not have experienced before.
(d) Restating
Restating is related to listening skill. The ability of the counsellor to restate
the gist of the message being conveyed by the client shows that the counsellor
has listened attentively. This skill is also known as paraphrasing a statement.
The counsellor gives feedback of what has been said by the client by using
the counsellorÊs own words. There are three purposes of paraphrasing the
clientÊs statements:
(i) To let the client know that the counsellor is trying to understand him;
(ii) To summarise clearly what has been said by the client; and
(iii) To check whether what is understood by the counsellor is similar to

what the client wants to convey.
Sometimes what is being said by the client revolves around his feelings
but the counsellorÊs response when paraphrasing is on the meaning of
the statement. For example:
Example 1
Client : IÊm fed up of studying. Sometimes when I wake up in the

morning, I feel like skipping school. ( feeling)
Counsellor : Studying is no longer a challenge for you. ( meaning)
Example 2
Client : I donÊt know what to do anymore. At times I feel like

I want to work first, get some experience and continue my
studies after a year or two. ( feeling)
Counsellor : You feel it is difficult to make a decision, whether to stop
studying for a while and work or to continue your studies.
( meaning)
In each example, the counsellor responded with the meaning of the message
from the client by paraphrasing the statements through the use of his own
words.
Paraphrasing a clientÊs statement is suitable at the initial stage of consultation

because it encourages the client to talk more openly and explain his problem
more elaborately. However, it is important to remember that paraphrasing
does not result in deeper exploration of the problem. The discussion can even
be boring if it is not aided by other skills.

(e) Feeling Reflection

The difference between restating what has been said by the client and feeling
reflection is from the aspect of its emphasis. Restating the explanation by
using the counsellorÊs own words to check whether what the client said is
exactly as what the counsellor perceived. On the other hand, feeling
reflection is to suggest a feeling felt by the client when making a statement,
to check the accuracy of the clientÊs feeling at the time. For example:
Example
Client : When I found out that my PTPTN application was

approved, I felt better because at least I donÊt have to
worry about my expenses.
Counsellor : You felt relieved because your financial burden has been
lessened.
In this instance, the counsellor reflects the condition of the clientÊs feelings
at the current time and by doing so, he communicates his acceptance towards
the client. If you recall the previous explanation, a client who felt that he has
been heard (or listened to) and understood by the counsellor will be more
open and able to focus better on the problem.
(f) Summarising the Content of Discussion

Summarising skill refers to the ability of the counsellor to summarise
important matters which were discussed during the consultation session.
This is to ascertain that both the client and the counsellor agreed on what has
been discussed. Ascertaining the gist of discussion is not the same as
paraphrasing. The gist of discussion might be based on clientÊs statements in
one consultation session or one which was made during one of the last few
sessions. The main purpose is for verification. In addition, summarising can
provide assurance to the client that his problem has been given full attention
by the counsellor.

Summarising the content of counselling is usually applied during these

situations:
(i) When the counsellor structures the beginning of the counselling session
by reflecting on important matters which were discussed during
previous sessions;
(ii) When client starts to make confusing statements which do not have any
relevance with the current problem;
(iii) When the client feels that he has expressed everything which is
important to him on a specific topic;
(iv) With regard to future actions, the counsellor and the client make
evaluation of what has been learnt from the previous consultation; and
(v) At the end of the session when the counsellor tells the client what has
been learnt from the session.
(g) Summarising the Feeling

The skill of summarising the clientÊs feelings can be quite difficult to be
conducted because of several reasons. Firstly, it has to do with our Eastern
culture whereby expressing deep and profound feeling is not an easy thing
to do. When a counsellor tries to summarise a clientÊs feeling, there is a
possibility that the client will deny his own feelings. This is because to admit
to something which contradicts our own culture is difficult even though the
client may have feelings such as hating his parents, being angry and others.
Therefore, the counsellor must use his mastery of communication skills so

that the counsellor and the client do not have contrasting opinions. If the
client denies what is perceived as true by the counsellor, therefore the
counsellor must change the topic of discussion. There might be a chance that
the counsellor wrongly perceives the feelings exhibited by the client.
The aim of summarising the clientÊs feelings which were observed by the
counsellor during consultation sessions is to recognise and respond to the
feelings which were expressed by the client or those which were perceived
by the counsellor. This type of response allows the counsellor to observe and
verify whether the response given by the client is accurate and similar to
what is being felt by him. Another purpose is to demonstrate to the client
that the counsellor is sincerely listening to his problems and is by his side to
help him.

ACTIVITY 3.4
1. (a) What is the impact to an individual if he is truly listened to

and understood by others? Provide an explanation based on
your experience.
(b) Practise listening with this technique and observe the results.
2. Is silence during an interaction a good thing? Why and when

should you be silent?
Share your answers with your coursemates in the myINSPIRE online

forum.
SELF-CHECK 3.5
1. Explain the basic communication skills which a counsellor needs to

know and practise.
2. In what situations would the counsellor need to summarise the gist

of a discussion?
3. Briefly explain how the first counselling session is to be conducted.
 Counselling involves the dynamic communication process between two

individuals who interact with each other. The counsellor is responsible for
providing an appropriate environment and ambience in order to carry out the
counselling session effectively and comfortably.
 The relationship between the counsellor and the client is unique. Whatever is
discussed during the counselling session is deemed confidential. A counsellor
has the responsibility to respect and maintain the clientÊs secrets unless there
is written consent to not do so. Confidentiality of the clientÊs secrets need to be
upheld to build trust.

 The counselling process moves from one phase to another, each phase
possesses certain procedures and skills. Thus, the counsellor must be ready to
start the consultation with the client, build a good rapport, structure the session
and inform the clients of the roles of the client and the counsellor.
 Non-verbal behaviour plays a very important role during the consultation

session. It is important to observe the behaviour of the client and interpret his
non-verbal behaviour.
 There are seven basic communication skills that a counsellor needs to have.
They are; asking open-ended questions, responding to silence, listening,
restating, feeling reflection, summarising the content of the discussion and
summarising the feeling.
Close-ended questions Listening skill

Communication skills Meeting environment
Confidentiality Non-verbal behaviour
Consultation session Open-ended questions
Counselling skills Silence
Luxmoore, N. (2014). School counsellors working with young people and staff:
A whole-school approach. UK: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Mc-Leod, J. (2013). An introduction to counselling (5th ed.). UK: McGraw-Hill

Education.
Nelson-Jones, R. (2012). Introduction to counselling skills: Text and activities

(4th ed.). California: SAGE Publication Ltd.

C3 - Communication Skill in Counselling

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Topic  Communication

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3.1 LEARNING ABOUT COUNSELLING SKILLS

According to McLeod (2013), counselling involves the dynamic communication

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When the counselling session begins, the main purpose of a counsellor is to

3.2 EARLY PREPARATION

3.2.1 Meeting Environment

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Figure 3.2: An example of the seating arrangement in a counsellorÊs room

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Share your answers with your coursemates in the myINSPIRE forum.

3.2.2 Procedure for Accepting Clients

The recruitment procedure is necessary to acquire the clientÊs case history.

3.2.3 Counsellor and Confidentiality

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A counsellor must also appear as a person who can be relied on in building

Provide examples of your own to show how a counsellor can appear as

Share your answers in the myINSPIRE online forum.

3.3 FIRST COUNSELLING INTERVIEW

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Figure 3.3: Counselling interview or consultation procedure

3.3.1 Beginning a Session

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Amin, a student, has threatened his teacher, Pn Siti. En Baharum,

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3.3.2 Structuring the Consultation Session

(a) Role of the counsellor;

(b) Role of the client;

(c) ClientÊs purpose of meeting the counsellor; and

(d) Confidentiality in counselling.

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3.3.3 First Session Goals (Explaining the Session

(b) To observe the clientÊs problem(s) while demonstrating openness and

(d) To identify specific problem(s) to be explored further or to be discussed in

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3.3.4 Ending the First Session

3.3.5 Making References

The following situations describe when it is necessary for a client to be referred to

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3.4 SPECIFIC SKILLS

3.4.1 Non-verbal Behaviour

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Counselling theorists and practitioners acknowledged the importance of

Regarding non-verbal behaviour, Luxmoore (2014) suggested that counsellors

(a) Types of Non-verbal Behaviour

Figure 3.4: Types of non-verbal behaviour

Luxmoore (2014) states some examples of non-verbal behaviour which are

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Table 3.1: Examples of Non-verbal Behaviour

Behaviour Type Behaviour Part Example of Non-verbal Behaviour

Gestures Focus of the eyes Ć Staring at an object in a room

Sitting position Ć Showing eagerness to give response

Facial expressions Ć Nonchalant

Hand and arm Ć Gestures showing size dimensions

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Tone of voice Speed of talking Ć Fast

Voice pitch Ć High

Atmosphere Spacing Ć Withdraw when other people reaches