Breathe Journal - Wellbeing

Wellbeing
JOURNAL
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Breathe
Wellbeing
and make time for yourself
JOURNAL

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Wellbeing
It’s something that everyone deserves a sense of, and this journal is
here to help you discover yours. Finding time for yourself in today’s
fast-paced world can often feel unachievable. Rushing from one task to
another, prioritising everyone else’s needs above your own, struggling
to fit in regular exercise, even a good night’s sleep. But it doesn’t have to
be this way. Here at Breathe, the original mindfulness magazine, we’ve
discovered the secret to reclaiming your life is to start small. Just a few
simple, gradual changes can make the world of difference.
And this journal is filled with ways to help you do just that. A curated
collection of our articles mixed with brand new easy exercises, think of
it as a field guide to wellbeing – a companion to carry with you and dip
into, wherever you are. Discover rituals to soothe and nourish, practical
ideas to declutter and get organised, tips on how to slow down and calm
those racing thoughts. Beautifully illustrated, with space to record your
innermost thoughts and ideas, use it to take those first rejuvenating
steps towards a more relaxed, more fulfilled you.
breathemagazine.com

Contents
In search of balance 8
Slowly does it 12
Make yourself right at home 18
Create your own mental health first aid kit 24
Wide awake – and worried 32
Lend a hand 36
Mind how you grow 40
Detox 46
An open look at problems 58
Remains of the day 64
Why bother? 70
One word 80
Crafting a better state of mind 84
Smarter connection 92
Time to reflect 98
Let’s dance 104
Fiction in a flash 108
Ways to stay creative in a busy life 120
Yoga for wellbeing 122

In search of balance
Sometimes the day’s chores can seem overwhelming, but there
are ways to create a fresh rhythm to life that has room for work,
play and downtime

The busier life becomes the harder it is to stay on top of everything. The more
you do, the faster your stress levels rise. Even multitasking is a downward spiral.
According to experts, each time you switch tasks it can take up to five minutes to
refocus, and the very act of toggling between tasks raises cortisol levels. And so
turns the never-ending circle – not dissimilar to a hamster’s wheel.

It is time to get off the wheel, take a deep breath and restore the balance in
your life. And to do this you will need to develop a new set of rules or rituals.
These create a different lifestyle rhythm that once learned will never be
forgotten. Balance is about equality, about weighing up the good with the
bad. It is about not getting lost in perfection and, perhaps even more so, about
accepting imperfection.
1 Get up earlier
In his book, The Miracle Morning, Hal Elrod suggests getting up super early
before anyone else is awake. In the quiet stillness of the early hours you can
plough through tasks that would be difficult to manage during a normal
day. Start with small steps – set the alarm just 15 minutes earlier and use
that time to do something that will help you focus on the day ahead. Maybe
meditate for a few minutes: practise a one-minute ritual to help you stop,
inhale and reset.
2 Plan ahead
This can be helpful in staying productive and organised, especially when
trying to fit new things into a schedule. Willpower is a finite resource –
people only have a set amount of it each day – so try not to waste it on
trivial rather than important decisions. If you plan ahead, simple things
like meals for the week, it takes away the need for willpower or decision-
making and your resources are available for other things, like being creative
or concentrating on goals.
3 Give yourself ‘grey time’

Each day tends to begin with a plan. Within it there are different blocks of
time: meetings, the day’s jobs or tasks, and grey time. The latter is important
to stay aligned – it’s a space to think and review. Remember to plan it into
the diary however relentless your schedule.
4 Say no
You can say no. So many people agree to do things, even pretend they would
love to, when inside they’re secretly wondering how to fit everything in.
There are only 24 hours in the day – and some of those need to be spent
taking care of yourself. It is perfectly normal to feel guilty about saying no,
so offer an alternative instead: ‘I can’t do that, but I could do this.’ Soften
the blow by saying no in a pleasant way: ‘Thank you so much for thinking of
me. It sounds like a great idea, but at the moment I’m pretty overstretched.
Do keep me in mind for next time.’ Any guilt felt at the time will quickly be
replaced by a wave of relief and empowerment.
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5 Edit your to-do list – and be ruthless
How many of the things on your list really need to be done? What can you
delegate or outsource? Cut down the to-do list to two or three things a day.
When the to-do list is short, it’s easier to feel more positive about reaching
the end, so you are able to get more done. It sounds counterintuitive, and it
is, but it works.
6 Have a clear-out
Tackle that neglected drawer, empty the in-box and start afresh, donate old
belongings to charity. Whatever you decide to do, it is important. It will give
a sense of accomplishment and make you feel empowered to tackle other
tasks. And you will have more ‘breathing space’ to help create balance.
7 Think positive
Choose not to be negative, not to look backwards, not to let petty things get
you down, and only think about positive outcomes and solutions. This way
you won’t waste energy on negative factors.
8 Be kind to yourself
Rather than think about the things you could have done better, get into
the habit of celebrating what you have done well. It is important to reward
yourself for your achievements, large and small. And remember these high
points when things go wrong – as they invariably do. You are what you
choose to be in life.
Things I’ve done that deserve celebrating

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Slowly does it
From food to work to holidays, the evidence that taking life down
a notch is beneficial to happiness is growing
The concept of slow living began back in the 1980s with the slow food movement.
Originally the word slow wasn’t used for its literal meaning but as an acronym for
sustainable, local, organic and whole. The slow food movement still has its focus
on growing, rearing and consuming food in a way that’s good for the planet, for
humans and for all living beings. In recent years, slow living has also become an
all-encompassing approach to life rather than just one area of it.
As a term, slow living is quite broad and open to individual interpretation.
It doesn’t necessarily mean living life at half-speed compared to the rest of the
population, but it does embrace a more considered, thoughtful approach to how
you live; which, in turn, can result in a less frenetic pace of life.
While the world becomes more digitised and reliance on technology increases,
slow living is a move towards a more analogue way of being. It doesn’t mean
ditching your smartphone or laptop, but taking a more mindful attitude towards
how you use them.
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Stepping off
Essentially, the movement is about letting go of the need to be busy, to be always

moving on to the next task, to be trying to do and have everything, and instead
being purposeful in what you do, paying attention to what’s happening now
and experiencing life as it is. There can be a lot of self-expectation as well as the
feeling that you have to live up to a certain ideal for others – slow living suggests
you drop those pressures. By being mindful of how you compare yourself to other
people, the standards to which you hold yourself, and how you honour your
boundaries, you can recognise when life has become a treadmill that you want
to step off. Slow living is the antidote to life on auto-pilot.
At the heart of the movement is connection. It can be this feeling of
connectedness to other people and to your own life that is lost when you live
at top speed. When the calendar is full of meetings, events and after-school
activities, when your work days are getting longer, when you find it difficult to
say no or to admit you need help, when there are apps and box-sets to occupy any
spare time and virtual Joneses in social media as well as those in real life to keep
up with, you can feel disconnected from your life – as it’s taken on a momentum
of its own and you’re carried along with little say in the matter.
Slow living suggests that you hop off the merry-go-round to see how else you
could go about your life: to find out if your current timetable is providing you
with the quality of life you want. It may be that some aspects would benefit from
being taken down a notch or two, while there are other areas where you’re happy
with the pace and feel no need to change. Considering how connected you feel to
your partner, children, friends, family, even yourself, can help you work out if you
would benefit from a little more slow living.
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Ask yourself...
What in your life makes you feel busy?
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When did you last feel connected to those around you?
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Is anything stopping you from slowing down right now?
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How would life be different if you were able to slow down more?
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Ways to go slow
Everyday ideas for living a more connected
and conscious lifestyle
1 Slow technology
Loosen your grip on your digital devices by taking steps to spend less time
on screen. Leave your phone at home when you go for a walk, have a digital
device curfew, or collect social media apps into a folder on your last home
screen to make scrolling through the apps less automatic.
2 Slow food
If food shopping and preparation is a source of stress, reconnect with the
food you eat by growing some yourself, even just one ingredient. With
minimal space and time you can grow salad leaves, herbs or tomatoes. If
preparing meals from scratch feels too daunting, try one dish for starters.
3 Slow home
Having a home full of stuff can create an oppressive air and literally slow you
down as it takes longer to wade through drawers, shelves and cupboards to
find what you’re looking for. Take one room or item type at a time and have
a clear-out. Whatever doesn’t have a use or you don’t love can go to charity,
be recycled or put into the bin, or be sold.
4 Slow travel
Trying to get to where you need to be as quickly as possible can mean
you’re missing out on the hidden treasures of unexplored routes. Leave
the car at home and take a walk, ride a bike or travel on public transport
to get to your destination, where practical. Make the extra journey time
part of the experience and look for what you might have been missing
from your driver’s seat.
5 Slow activities
Find satisfaction in a creative pursuit, such as drawing, paper cutting,
origami, crocheting, model building or simply reading a book that asks
you to slow down and take your time. Take a stroll through a local park or
woodland and notice the colours of the flowers, the insects living around
them, the different species of trees, the sun (or rain) coming through the
canopy, the sound of birdsong and the smell of nature.
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6 Slow days
Clear a weekend of plans and do what takes your fancy when you wake up.
Check the weather forecast, see how you feel and consider what you don’t
usually get to do because you’ve already made plans. Resist any urge to fill
the time with chores and instead think about what you could do just for
the joy of it. Perhaps that’s taking a picnic to the local park, playing a board
game, watching a classic movie, baking a cake or exploring an unknown area
of your neighbourhood.
7 Slow family
Create times in the day and week when you connect with each other as a
family. Eat dinner together at the table, greet and leave each other in person
with hugs rather than yelling hellos and goodbyes, or take part in a family
activity or sport.
8 Slow together
Gather together a handful of friends to share a meal and a few relaxed hours.
Keep the food simple, perhaps suggest everyone brings a pot-luck dish, and
don’t stress about how pristine your home is. The focus is on spending time
talking to people you care about and enjoy being with, rather than where
you are, how much the wine costs or the complexity of the menu.
9 Slow holidays
Consider how you can best make use of taking time away from everyday life to
recharge. The urge can be to include as many experiences as possible and, while
this may be enjoyable, you can also return home feeling the need for a rest.
Schedule time to sit and people watch, to reflect on where you visited or what
you did each day, or just stay in one place and take a slower mode of transport.
10 Slow moments
Even in the middle of a hectic day you can take a slow living moment. Focus
your attention on your breath and where you feel it most clearly – in your
abdomen, chest, nose – for a few breaths. Then scan your body from your
feet to your head, noticing how it feels without judging or changing it. Move
your attention slowly to take in what you can hear, what you can smell and
what you can see. Come back to your breath for a few seconds more and
then carry on with your day. Know that any time you feel the need, you can
bring your attention back to your breath for a few moments of calm.
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Make yourself
right at home
‘Home is where the heart is’ – a place filled with the people and
possessions you love. But too often people hold on to stuff they
don’t need, use or cherish. So how do you declutter, enrich your life
and turn bricks and mortar into your own personal haven?
For many, the phrase ‘mindful home’ will conjure up images of a spiritual space
– ornaments of Buddhist monks, everything perfectly placed Feng Shui-style and
just the right balance of yin and yang.
For most people, though – with time, money and patience for household jobs
in short supply – the reality is that this picture-perfect image doesn’t exist. More
likely, it is a place of organised chaos, with a feeling that you’re running just to
stand still. So how do you go about creating a harmonious abode?
Reflection of the inner self
It’s not so much what’s on the surface that counts, it’s what resides within, or at
the heart of, the shell. It’s about what your home embodies and says about you.
After all, it’s a space you shape and mould to express your individual personality,
interests and lifestyle – almost like an extension of you – somewhere you can
truly be yourself and project how you want to be seen to others.
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Look with fresh eyes
As somewhere you spend most of your life, you can sometimes be too close to
your home to be able to reflect on what it says about you. Try imagining yourself
as a visitor to your house for the first time. It can be a useful way to gain fresh
perspective and consider, without judgement, what it says about you.
What would you change to make it the home you desire?
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The mindful clear-out
While you’re reflecting on any possible changes, look around you: might it be
time for a declutter? It’s truly remarkable how much people hoard, often without
even realising it. This is why a good, old-fashioned spring clean from time to
time is so important. So let’s get stuck in. To make sure you don’t lose motivation,
imagine what it would be like to have a clutter-free home and ask yourself why
you would like to live this way. Writing a mission statement, including the
benefits of an uncluttered life, can be a great motivational tool to look back on,
and will help to keep you focused.
Reasons to live a clutter-free life
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One thing at a time
Decluttering can seem like a mammoth task. Instead of looking at your home
in its entirety, break it down into rooms or, even better, focus on one category at
a time, such as clothes, books or stationery. It’s much less daunting and quicker
to get results this way. Making a list of what you want to get done can help to
maintain focus and momentum, plus there’s something ever so satisfying in
being able to tick them off one by one.
Tasks to complete
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Space to breathe
The first job is discarding items. Going through your belongings with full
awareness gives you the chance to consider whether you actually need, use or
cherish each item you come across. It can be hard to let go of some things as they
might invoke memories of the past, but this is where you must remember you
are living in the present. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Instead of
throwing your items straight in the bin, you can soften the blow by putting them
into a bag for the charity shop, letting others get joy from them and contributing
to a worthy cause at the same time.
Once you have discarded the items, apart from feeling psychologically lighter
and clearer, you will be able to see what you’re left with and neatly organise them
back into place. This allows you to become fully aware and appreciate all the
things that make up the home you love.
Keep it under control
Post declutter-fest, having freed up all that extra space, you might be tempted
to treat yourself to a little spending spree. Are you one of those people who can
go into complete shopaholic mode and rush out into the sales, buying things for
no reason other than that you consider them a bargain? To stop yourself from
accumulating more stuff, try to take a breather and check whether you need, or
even truly desire, a so-called bargain. Ask yourself: ‘Am I buying this item for the
sake of buying it or is it going to add to my life in some way?’ It’s a useful tactic to
try when you next hit the shops.
Things you need to buy
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Clean like a monk
Keeping your home in shipshape condition doesn’t need to be a drag. In Zen

temples, monks are assigned to carry out a specific cleaning task every day for
20 minutes. They fully immerse themselves silently in the job, and once the
time is up they stop working – whether they have completed it or not – and
continue with their day. This practice is called ‘soji’ and has been replicated in
Japanese schools, where children carry out 20 minutes of cleaning as part of
their daily routine.
Sticking with the mindset that every job you start needs to be finished can
result in putting chores off until you know you have time to get them done. But
by cleaning like a monk, your focus shifts from finishing the task to doing it, so
you’re able to get household jobs done over the week without overcomplicating
everything. What’s more, it can help you to do the mundane chores even if you
don’t want to do them; to receive and accept them without preference, resistance
or protest. If Japanese children can manage 20 minutes, so can you.
Why not give this a go? Next time you carry out your chores, stay focused and try not
to be distracted by thoughts other than the task at hand, ensuring the 20 minutes are
as productive as they can be and you’re not cheating yourself.
If you start to lose focus, drifting in and out of thoughts, merely observe and
acknowledge their presence, notice their content and consciously choose to bring
your attention back to what you’re doing. With a set time to work in, it’s easy to
get distracted by clock-watching. You could get around this by setting an alarm
on your phone. It doesn’t have to be 20 minutes: choose an amount of time that
suits you and your lifestyle.
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Time out at home
There’s nothing like a day spent at home, but busy lives mean these times are few
and far between. Your home becomes a crash pad for sleeping. Any chance you do
get to sit down and appreciate the home you’ve made is often interrupted by cold
calls, a neighbour unexpectedly popping by for a chat or the daunting to-do list
hanging over your head. So, what’s the answer? A mindful home retreat is a great
way to enjoy the comforts of your own space and enjoy some respite. There’s
no need to book a weekend break abroad for some time out. You can save those
pennies and opt for a true staycation.
Clear your afternoon of any commitments and switch off your phone so that
you won’t be disturbed, and try spending the time carrying out three mindful
activities. You could tap into your creative side by painting for an hour or two;
read a book you’ve been meaning to finish; or prepare some nourishing home
cooking. Carrying out each one with full awareness will allow your body and
mind to enjoy each moment as it passes.
Mindful activities you’d like to try
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And finally...
Take time to observe and appreciate fully the haven you’ve made, tucked away
from the hustle and bustle of the world outside. The place you miss when you’re
away and to which you look forward to returning. The space you can forever
adapt to reflect who you are, where you are in your life and how you want to live.
At the end of the day, there really is no place like home.
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Create your own mental
health ﬁrst aid kit
When you suffer a cut or a graze you reach for the plasters, but
what do you do when you’re feeling frazzled? Here’s what to put
aside to soothe your mind and nerves on those off-days
Most households have a first aid kit of some sort. A tin or Tupperware box with
plasters, creams and painkillers, or a drawer that’s home to these plus a host of
random bits and bobs. But what if you’re feeling bruised and battered by life, with
no external scars to show for it? Where do you turn to soothe the pain then?
While a traditional first aid kit treats your physical ailments, the contents
aren’t that helpful when you’re suffering mental anguish. Plasters and bandages
won’t slow the stream of anxious thoughts running around your head or lift your
spirits. This is where another type of first aid kit is needed. A mental health first
aid kit can be more personalised to your individual needs than a standard one,
and it can include a wide variety of items, both tangible and digital.
Your kit can live in a box in your house, in a pouch in your handbag or it can
be spread all over the place – position it wherever it’s likely to be useful. What’s
important is that your kit will provide you with what you need, when you need it.
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So what do you include in your mental health first aid kit?
Here are a few ideas to get you started…
Your smartphone
The advantage of using your phone as part of your kit is that it’s the one item
you’re likely to have with you wherever you are. Create a folder of meditation
apps, so if you need to take a few minutes to calm your mind or nerves you can
listen to a guided meditation. There are also apps that prompt you to think about
what you’re thankful for.
Most phones have a voice memo app where you can record yourself talking.
Perhaps make a message to play to yourself when you’re feeling particularly
anxious, upset or low. Or use the countless photos on your phone and put
together a digital album that makes you smile. It could include photos of your
family, friends and beloved pets, occasions that remind you of happy memories or
scenes that uplift you.
Why not put together a playlist of favourite tunes that lift your spirits, improve
your mood and energise you, or compile a selection that feels soothing and restful,
in case that’s what helps at a particular moment. What songs could you include?
Your comfort playlist
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Essential oils
Essential oils can be a speedy solution because when you inhale the scent it goes
straight to your limbic system, which affects your emotion and memory. That’s
why sometimes all it takes is a whiff of a smell to instantly change your mood and
bring back memories. Keep a little bottle handy to inhale when required.
Choose your scent

• Grounding oils, such as cedarwood and frankincense, can help you to feel
stronger and more comfortable in your own skin, nurturing self-confidence
and self-esteem.
• Citrus oils, like grapefruit and orange, are naturally uplifting, boosting general
mood and positivity, leaving you feeling happier about yourself.
• Clary, sage and rosemary promote mental clarity, reducing negative mental
chatter and leading to a stronger sense of purpose, focus and action. This can
help with confident decision-making.
NOW TRY THIS EXERCISE...

• Sitting comfortably, dab aromatherapy balm onto your pulse points
and inhale.
• Take long, deep breaths right into your belly and exhale slowly.
Notice the belly rising and falling with every breath, and then just
count your breath – one in, two out, three in and so on until you
reach 20.
Note how it makes you feel
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Quick fixes
When you’re struggling mentally, a list of actions that you can choose from to
help yourself can be useful. Write them down here so you can access them easily
as and when you need them.
What you write on the list is personal to you. What would make you feel
better when you’re having a tough day? Maybe going for a walk, listening to your
comfort playlist or phoning a friend, or more restful suggestions like taking a
nap, reading a chapter of your book or meditating.
It’s worth noting down some basic ideas too – drinking a glass of water,
making a cup of tea, eating something nourishing or taking a few deep breaths in
and out may seem obvious, but it’s easy to forget the importance of such simple
actions to wellbeing.
Your action list
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Journal and pen
There could be any number of reasons why you feel the need to dive into your
mental health first aid kit, but whatever’s going on inside your head, taking it out
of your brain and putting it down on paper can help. Whether that’s as a stream
of consciousness, a to-do list of everything you’re trying to remember or reasons
for and against an argument, writing it here in this journal can ease the burden.
Focusing on the good things around you can also be useful. Take a few minutes
to jot down what you appreciate in your life, what you feel grateful for and what
makes you smile. This enables your brain to think of the positives rather than
the negatives (it can’t do both at once), giving you a break from stress. And having
them written down means that on another occasion you can flick back and recall
positive moments.
Whatever else you choose to add to your kit – a quotation you find inspiring,
a nourishing snack, something to read or even a puzzle – remember you can add
to it or swap things in and out depending on how you feel and what you need at
the time. What matters is that you now have something to make those stressful
situations that little bit easier.
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Wide awake – and worried
Lying awake in the small hours, with anxious thoughts seemingly
your only company, is no fun. Here’s how to put them in their
place and get some precious sleep
Picture the scene. You’ve woken up in the middle of the night or early morning.
The rest of the house is quiet, it’s dark and your mind has leapt into action with
thoughts and worries spinning around at high speed. You don’t want to be awake,
you don’t want to have these thoughts, you feel alone and your own mind is
driving you crazy. You just want your brain to stop, you’re tired, anxious and you
want to be asleep.
Sound familiar? It’s not fun. Having strategies to call upon when you wake up
worrying in the small hours means that not only can you help yourself but it also
gives you the confidence that you can deal with your whirring brain – and that
makes a big difference. So, let’s see what can be done about it.
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Know that you’re not alone
When you’re lying there in the quiet darkness with thoughts reverberating loudly
around your mind, it’s easy to feel isolated. Even with a house full of people it can
still feel like you’re the only person in the world awake with a head full of worry.
But know this: you’re not alone. There’s a good chance that in homes up and
down the land there are other people lying awake at the exact same time you are,
also wishing their brains would shush, that the thought ticker tape would stop,
willing themselves to sleep.
Give yourself compassion
When you’re exhausted and have a busy day ahead you can feel frustrated
that your brain isn’t letting you sleep – that it’s insisting on thinking loudly
when you need to rest. So you get annoyed with yourself, you tell yourself to
relax, you push away the unwanted thoughts, willing yourself to stop being so
difficult and to just turn over and sleep. That doesn’t work so well, though,
does it? Forcing your mind to go blank, squeezing your eyes shut and
burrowing under the duvet is unlikely to do the trick, however much you
want it to. So stop trying.
Recognise this is difficult. Tell yourself that tossing and turning with
a runaway train of thoughts when you want to be asleep is hard and it’s
understandable you’re stressed. Imagine it’s a good friend lying awake feeling
this way and think how you would talk to her. Acknowledging how you’re feeling
and practising self-compassion has been shown to be a more effective calming
technique than mentally beating yourself up.
Focus on a mantra
Here’s a mantra you can repeat to yourself to soothe a stressed mind:
‘This feels really difficult right now. Everyone feels like this sometimes. I will give myself
the kindness I need’
Try repeating this mantra to yourself, or adapt it so it feels right for you, and see
how it makes you feel. It can be used in any challenging situation so it’s a good
one to have stored up, ready to repeat when needed.
It isn’t a magic bullet, you won’t say these words and immediately fall asleep.
But you are making it easier to calm down so you can get to a point where you
drop off again. If willing yourself to sleep isn’t working, give self-compassion
a go instead.
33

Acknowledge what you’re thinking
Worrying or frightening thoughts are not something to which you want to give
attention. But if you try hard not to think of a giraffe in leg warmers all you
can think about is a giraffe in leg warmers. So, it might feel uncomfortable, but
acknowledge what you’re thinking about. There’s no need to look at whether your
thoughts are right or wrong. And it doesn’t matter what you’re anxious about
because you’re not addressing the worries. Getting involved in your thoughts in
the middle of the night isn’t going to resolve them.
Instead, simply acknowledge the fear and the worry: ‘I know I’m worried
about x.’ Give yourself compassion: ‘It’s really hard for me to have this going
round in my head right now.’ And recognise that at this exact moment there is
no action you can take so let it go: ‘Right now it’s the middle of the night, I’m
in bed, there’s nothing I can do to address these worries, so I will no longer give
them my attention.’
You can even give yourself a specific time when you will face the worries, such
as later that morning at 11am. Some people find writing worries down can help
to clear the mind.
Worries to address later
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Mindful body scan
Give this exercise a go next time you’re having
trouble sleeping
Focus your attention on each body part, starting with your toes and
travelling slowly all the way up to the top of your head, noticing
what’s touching the mattress and what isn’t. You’re not trying to
change or judge anything, you’re just taking time to give all your
concentration to each bit of your body.
Start with your feet. Are some, all or none of your toes touching the
mattress? Is the side of one of your feet lying on the sheet but the
heel isn’t? Which part of your other foot is on the mattress? It takes
effort to pinpoint each piece of your body and how it feels in relation
to the mattress, and your mind may drift back to your thoughts.
When you notice this happening, return to the last body part you
remember and continue with the scan.
This isn’t something to rush. The desired outcome isn’t that you get
to the top of your head but that you become so bored or tired of this
exercise that you fall asleep. If you feel uncomfortable and want to
shift position, do so. You can restart the body scan exercise as many
times as you need to. If you reach the top of your head you can move
position and start again, perhaps scanning in the opposite direction
from your head to your feet.
Every time your mind wanders off to worrying, go through the same
process: acknowledge your thoughts, give yourself compassion for
how difficult this feels, and bring your focus back to where your body
is in contact with the mattress.
And if you still can’t sleep?
Try to keep your thoughts as positive as you can. Think of three

things that have brought you happiness or comfort. Continue to focus
not on the sleep you’re not getting, but on the sensation of your body
within the bed as it touches the mattress and duvet, and the rise and
fall of your breathing.
Sleep will come!
35

36

‘There are those who give with joy,
and that joy is their reward’
Kahlil Gibran
Lend a hand
Whether it’s helping out in a charity shop or painting a village
hall, volunteering is a rewarding experience that individuals,
groups and whole communities can benefit from
Although many people like the idea of volunteering, life can get in the way.
When it already feels as though there aren't enough hours in the day, finding
additional time to dedicate to others can be tough.
If it wasn’t for committed volunteers, though, many charities, community
groups and organisations would not be able to exist. They rely on people
donating money, but equally depend on individuals giving their time and
skills. Marshals are needed to guide runners safely around a marathon route;
leaders are required to inspire young girls in a Brownie pack; listeners are vital
to support the weary at the end of a helpline. Without volunteers many events
wouldn’t happen, clubs wouldn’t survive and services wouldn’t be available.
Taking that first step and putting yourself forward as a volunteer, whether on a
regular or more ad hoc basis, can be the start of an incredibly rewarding journey.
Within no time, you’ll notice the joy you bring to others – and a new-found
pleasure in your life too.
37

Where to start
There are a few questions you need to ask yourself before you
take that first step
Who would you like to help?
There’s a wealth of community groups, organisations and charities that run
purely on the hard work of volunteers. Volunteers run libraries, day centres,
youth groups, even film clubs, while there are cafes up and down the country
that rely on the goodwill of others to serve tea and bake cakes. Charities also
depend on volunteers to stand with collecting buckets at events or during
fundraising weeks.
List ideas here
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How much time can you commit?
Be realistic when considering the time you can dedicate. Volunteering needs
to be something you look forward to, not another chore you dread. If you can’t
commit regularly, consider other options. Maybe you could take part in a beach
clean-up in the summer or plant bulbs for a retirement home ready for spring.
Time you could spare
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Do you want to use the skills you already have, or learn new ones?
Maybe you're an IT whizz, handy with a camera or you love to knit. Whether you
use these skills at work or they're just hobbies, thinking about what you can do
and what you'd like to do can be a great way of sparking ideas and opportunities.
Skills you have, and those you’d like to learn
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Where to look
Once you have an idea of what you want to do, ask around locally – look in
newspapers, enquire at the Women’s Institute or the parish church. Or visit
do-it.org.uk, a website that makes volunteering easy. Simply pop in your postcode
and a list of local opportunities appear.
39

Mind how you grow
Tending a garden can bring you closer to nature than merely being
outside, and the bond developed can help nourish body and soul
Most people instinctively know that time spent in the garden is beneficial
– physically, mentally and spiritually. That's because, at its most enriching,
gardening is a more reflective activity than simply doing or having.
This is where the concept of mindful gardening is so helpful. Being mindful is
being present in the moment and holding that attention on an activity. When the
mind drifts to dwelling on the past or worries about the future, it is brought back
to the present. In her book, RHS Gardening for Mindfulness, Holly Farrell explains
further: ‘In mindful practice we need an anchor to bring our focus back every
time our attention wanders. For sitting mindfulness practice this is the rise and
fall of the breath, but in the garden we can use our senses as the anchor instead.
Nature calls on all our senses in a garden, grounding us in the present moment,
so that we are able not only to get off autopilot but also to free ourselves from the
past and future worries.’
40

Growing your own vegetables
A great place to start with mindful gardening is growing your own vegetables.
Imagine a summer’s day when you plan a salad for dinner and you pick rocket,
radish, peppers, tomatoes and spring onions straight from the garden. Fresh,
nutritious, delicious and all easy to grow. What’s more, you don’t need heaps
of space for a greenhouse, vegetable plot or raised beds. If only a small patio or
courtyard sits outside your kitchen door, these veg will happily grow in pots,
small sacks or a hanging basket. Some will even flourish on a sunny windowsill.
Before you can bask in the glory of having grown your own veg, you’ll need to
invest in a few basic items. A hand trowel is useful, and you'll need a selection of
pots. Make sure there are drainage holes in the bottom and use pot feet or bricks
to raise them off the ground otherwise the holes will get blocked.
Plastic pots are lighter and easier to clean than clay ones and will probably be
cheaper. A bulkier purchase is compost. Multi-purpose compost should suffice
for most vegetables. There may be a little trial and error at first, especially for
beginners, but you’ll be amazed by what you can achieve with very little effort.
In no time at all, your confidence will grow alongside your vegetables.
41

42

Six easy veg to grow
Gardening is a waiting game and it can take time to see the best results. That
said, when growing vegetables some crops will be ready to eat only a month after
sowing and there’s nothing better to motivate you to grow more.
Sowing seeds is relatively straightforward. Just pop them thinly on a layer of
soil and cover with a little more compost. Remember that one packet of seeds
often equates to dozens of plants. You’ll usually find the number of seeds listed
on the back. In some cases, it’s easier to buy a young plant at a garden centre
than to sow seeds early that then need space indoors to germinate. If you do find
yourself with an excess of plants, speak to friends and neighbours. They may be
happy to do a swap.
Radish
Sow radish seeds direct into a pot and you’ll see results in as little as three weeks –
it’s the ultimate fast food. For the best peppery taste, pick radishes when still small
and tender. Plants will tolerate a little shade but don’t let them dry out. Radishes
are rich in potassium and vitamin C.
Sow direct: March to September
Harvest crops: April to November
Garlic
Although it takes a while to grow, once you’ve tasted the intense flavour of garlic
from the garden, you’ll realise it was worth the wait. Buy either individual cloves
or a whole head of garlic, which you then separate, from the garden centre. You’ll
need deep pots, or use a potato-growing sack, and bury the cloves, pointed end
facing up, 2in (5cm) below the surface. Keep moist but don’t over water. Shoots will
pop up and then wither. At this point, your garlic is ready.
Sow direct: February to March, October to December
Harvest crops: June to August
Potatoes
Don’t be too confused by the different ‘first earlies’, ‘second earlies’, ‘early maincrop’
terms. All you need to know is to plant earlies by early April and maincrops by the
end of the month. Buy potato tubers from garden centres and allow them to chit
– put in an empty egg box in a cool, dark place. When you see a few new nodules,
plant three tubers in around 4in (10cm) of multi-purpose compost at the bottom
of a deep growing sack. As they grow and new shoots appear, cover with more
compost. Do this two or three times until the sack is almost full. When the shoots
flower, have a feel around to see if the potatoes are big enough to lift.
Sow direct: February to April
Harvest crops: May to October
43

Rocket
Rocket grows quickly. You’ll be able to harvest your first crop and enjoy spicy leaves
within four to six weeks of sowing. Sow seeds thinly straight into a pot or, if you eat
a lot of salad, sow a growbag of mixed salad leaves. Pick leaves frequently with your
hand or scissors to encourage further growth.
Sow direct: March to September
Harvest crops: April to November
Tomatoes
Okay, so tomatoes are technically a fruit, but they are still very easy to grow,
especially the bushy Tumbler variety that is perfect for hanging baskets. Grown
outdoors in full sun, they’ll be packed with vitamin C. Fill the basket, or pot if you
prefer, with growbag compost, then pop in the young plant. Don’t allow the soil to
dry out – you may need to water twice a day in the height of summer. Again, hand-
pollinate the flowers and, once you see fruit, regularly feed with tomato plant food.
Buy young plants: April to June
Harvest crops: June to October
Courgettes
You’ll only need one or two courgette plants (each can produce up to 30 fruit), so
it’s easier to buy young plants. A large pot around 2ft (60cm) in diameter is required
but, once planted, the courgette can be left to go about its own business. Keep
plants well watered and regularly check for slugs, who love courgettes. Courgettes
are a good source of vitamins A, C and E, and the yellow flower is also edible.
Buy young plants: May to July
Harvest crops: July to October
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Garden notes
Record the evolution of your plants and jot down any tips and
ideas for next year
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Detox
Forget the hype about specific detox plans and drinks. You can
make your own personalised plan with just a few changes
Everyone has times throughout the year when they overindulge, eating and
drinking to excess. Although at the time it may feel good and the right thing to
do, it can also leave you feeling sluggish. Afterwards, many people begin to think
about getting healthy again, and that’s where the word ‘detox’ may come up.
46

Do you really need to detox your body?
You may remember from biology lessons at school that your body is constantly
detoxing, filtering out waste products from bodily functions, removing toxins
such as alcohol and chemicals from pollution. Several organs are involved: skin,
intestines, liver and kidneys. Pills, patches, potions and lotions cannot do these
intricate processes for you, which is why keeping your body in tip-top shape is
essential for staying fit and well.
What about special diets?
Typical detox diets (also known as fad diets) often promote an extreme
restriction of calories and eliminate food groups. This is not only unnecessary,
but is likely to result in weight loss followed by regain, and, even worse, a return
to old, poorer eating patterns. Going on a restrictive eating plan doesn’t tend to
promote healthy habits, and if you restrict calories too much then you may not
have the energy needed to perform daily activities in addition to exercise. In
the long term, starting a plan usually leads to finishing a plan, and then what?
You can, however, put in place a few changes to revamp your diet after a period
of indulgence.
Will it help psychologically?
Although your body naturally detoxes on a daily basis, there is something to be

said for doing it to help your psychological wellbeing. Some people like to have
a defined period of time where they follow a specified healthy eating plan to
kickstart their new healthier regime. Others may feel that following a restricted
eating plan leaves them craving the foods that they have omitted. However you
feel, taking time out to relax and getting to bed at a decent time is bound to make
you feel a whole lot better. It will also leave you more in control of your (healthy)
choices the next day.
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What should I eat in a day?
Here is an example of a healthy diet, perfect after a period of overindulging. These
meals are rich with nutrients to satisfy your body and the combination of protein,
low GI carbs and healthy fats will keep you feeling fuller for longer.
Breakfast Smashed avocado with poached eggs and cherry tomatoes on rye bread
Mid-morning snack One apple with 1–2tbsp nut or seed butter
Lunch A large bowl of vegetable and lentil or bean soup
Mid-afternoon snack A small piece of cheese and a handful of grapes
Evening meal Baked salmon with sweet potato wedges, tenderstem broccoli
and asparagus
Dessert or supper Greek yoghurt with blueberries, honey and cinnamon
Drinks 1–3 cups of green or black tea, water or warm water with
lemon (which is caffeine-free)
48

Eat more superfoods
Eating more salads is another great way to incorporate a wide range of fresh
fruit and vegetables (aka wholesome superfoods) into your diet. The advice is to
eat at least five 3oz (80g) portions of fruit, vegetables or salad a day. There is also
evidence to suggest that people who regularly eat salads with a meal actually eat
fewer calories overall, while still feeling satisfied.
Nutrients vary by the type of salad leaf (which make the perfect base of a
salad), but the very popular lettuce can be a source of vitamin A, folate and
manganese, and a good source of vitamin K.
Salads are not only healthy and quick to prepare, they are also versatile and
convenient. Add olive oil, avocado and nuts to help aid nutrient absorption.
Make your perfect superfood salad

• Choose your salad base – for example, watercress, baby leaf salad,
spinach, lambs’ lettuce, iceberg, herb salad, rocket or pea shoots.
• Add protein – try grilled chicken breast, boiled egg, tuna (canned in
water), salmon or feta cheese. Protein contains amino acids, which
contribute to the growth and maintenance of lean muscle mass.
• Add a rainbow of vegetables – including cherry tomatoes,
cucumber, beetroot, radishes, celery, pepper or red onion. People
should eat a ‘rainbow’ of foods to ensure that they are consuming
a wide variety of different nutrients.
• Add a slow-release starchy carbohydrate – such as brown basmati
rice, quinoa, wholemeal pitta bread, sweet potato, granary bread or
wholemeal pasta. Carbohydrate supplies our body with the energy
needed for the maintenance of normal brain function and fibre.
• Add a light, tasty dressing – such as olive oil and lemon juice.
If you’re making your own, add the oil and vinegar in a 3:1
ratio along with any other ingredients – try black pepper, maple
syrup, pesto, balsamic vinegar, sweet chilli sauce (but check
the main ingredient isn’t sugar), light mayonnaise or a light
French dressing.
• And finally, jazz it up with toppings – olives, avocado, flaked
almonds, apple pieces, raisins, cashews, pine nuts, toasted walnuts,
anchovies or pomegranate seeds are all great-tasting options.
49

Diet makeover
• Ditch (or decrease) your intake of sweets, chocolate, cakes, biscuits,
crisps and fizzy drinks (i.e. added sugars).
• Eat an abundance of whole foods including fruit, vegetables, fish,
nuts, seeds, lean meat and whole grains.
• Top up with water (fluid) regularly throughout the day to stay hydrated
and alert.
• Open up to relaxing, taking more me-time and sleeping (aim for seven to eight
hours a night).
• Exercise (or move your body daily) – aim for 30 minutes of moderately intense
activity at least five times a week, including two sessions of resistance exercise.
What about your environment?
The first thing you should do when embarking on a healthy living mission
is to make your environment conducive to weight loss and healthy eating.
Go straight to the kitchen and detox it. Don’t rely on willpower. It’s like a
muscle: the more it’s used throughout the day, the weaker it gets. This means
that you may be most vulnerable to tempting offers of high fat or sugar foods
in the evening.
Take the pressure off yourself by getting rid of any chocolates (you could give
them away) and stock up with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. Cook in bulk so
that a healthy meal is never too far away. Organise your fridge so that you have
healthy snacks such as pre-cut veggies and hummus or salsa, boiled eggs and
cherry tomatoes or chicken slices at eye level. Keep higher calorie foods on lower
shelves and cover them in tin foil (so that your eyes aren’t drawn to them).
Keep a food diary
A food diary can be a useful place to start. This will help to increase
mindfulness of foods eaten and may give you an insight into
anything you’re overlooking – is missing lunch causing you to dig
into that packet of crisps? If so, make your lunch in advance and put
temptations out of sight.
Record everything you eat and drink over the course of a week
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MONDAY
Breakfast
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Lunch
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TUESDAY
Breakfast
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WEDNESDAY
Breakfast
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Lunch
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THURSDAY
Breakfast
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FRIDAY
Breakfast
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SATURDAY
Breakfast
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SUNDAY
Breakfast
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58

An open look at problems
It’s tempting to ignore disputes, issues and worries in the hope
they’ll go away, but facing problems head on and taking a
considered, logical approach can help you to move forward
They have a habit of appearing out of the blue in off-guard moments. They can
be physical, psychological or a combination of the two and range in seriousness,
type and size. Some are manageable or easily solved while others can remain
hidden only to resurface unexpectedly. A few can throw your life into turmoil,
cause years of suffering and even threaten your very existence. Such is the
power of problems.
Many, of course, such as financial concerns, short-term medical conditions or
mechanical hiccups, are part and parcel of routine life and have well-established
solutions and interventions. Others can be trickier or more personal and require
more than a trip to the bank, a spell in A&E or the purchase of a new wing
mirror for a car. These unexpected problems can leave you bewildered, test
your resilience and in some cases undermine your internal world.
A measured response
How problems are perceived and responded to will differ from person to
person, and reactions can be influenced by several factors and vary from
day to day. Instinctive, gut responses are common and usually take place
immediately or soon after an initial period of shock or disbelief. The emotional
outpourings vary widely and include frustration, anxiety, helplessness, remorse
and anger. In some cases this can lead to verbal and physical retaliation,
bullying on social media platforms and even self-harm. In others, the response
can cause more suffering than the initial problem itself. It’s easy to overreact in
the heat of the moment only to regret it later or to dwell for days on the killer
line that would have won an argument.
But non-emergency problems can be approached in a more considered way,
one where the brain, logic and inner human nature take charge. This involves
a conscious reaction as opposed to one that originates from the gut. One
such approach is consciously to meet it (face it), greet it (consider the options)
and beat it (employ solutions). This can maximise your chance of reaching a
satisfactory resolution.
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1 Meet it
This involves looking at problems head on before analyzing and dealing with
them in a conscious way. If there is something that bothers you to the extent that
it causes behaviours or emotions you regard as negative, then make a concerted
effort to resolve the issue rather than turning a blind eye to it and letting it fester.
Dealing with problems can make you stronger.
If there is a truly insurmountable problem, the only choice may be to accept it
fully to move forward in life, so it stops unnecessary or prolonged suffering. This
doesn’t mean you have given in, just that you have been mature enough to put it
to bed for good. The time such acceptance takes will vary. Sometimes a physical
ritual can help – burning a candle, for instance, and agreeing with yourself that
when the candle dissolves or goes out, so does the problem.
The mind, however, can ignore instructions and continue to churn issues
over and over. If a problem you have agreed to accept resurfaces in your head, be
disciplined and remind yourself that it is not a dilemma any longer. Your mind
should learn to listen to your conscious effort and approach.
2 Greet it
It might help to think about a problem logically to assess its nature, size and
scale because the mind can make matters appear worse than they are. Sometimes
the availability of a solution might dictate how bad a problem is. Have you ever
stressed about something only to find the answer was simple and easily available?
Ask yourself the following questions and try to challenge your understanding of
the issue. Recording your thoughts can help to organise them.
Is there a real dilemma to be solved or is your perception of an issue making it

appear like a problem?
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Can someone truly upset you or is your reaction something learned, a response
mechanism that you might be able to control or change?
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If you are responsible for the way you respond, can you choose to respond
differently in future, especially with similar problems?
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Often, past events continue to draw focus and be experienced as problems. It
might be worth asking if they are still a concern now or whether it is the mind
churning them up. Should you be suffering because of something that happened
in the past and is categorically in the past? Is it possible to solve these problems?
There are several questions that can be asked to ensure appropriate solutions can
be identified and your response is fair, measured and reasonable.
Do you need help from others?

Whose responsibility is it (if anyone’s) to deal with the problem?
Does it automatically fall to you?
Are you accepting too much responsibility?
Could the solution be a joined-up effort with others?
Is speaking up the right thing to do, even if it may not go down well?
Some people tend to keep problems to themselves as they are mindful of the
impact on loved ones, but there are times when talking to family or friends can
help. If that isn’t possible, discussing an issue with a person who doesn’t know
you, such as a counsellor, network group or volunteer on a charity helpline, can
be useful. Some firms also offer employee assistance programmes.
Consciously evaluating the size and scale of a problem, as well as your
perception and response to it, can help to identify appropriate solutions. Having
thought it through, your response is more likely to be measured and logical and
stand a better chance of reaching a satisfactory resolution.
List the solutions available to you here, then perhaps seek advice on them from
trusted friends or discreet colleagues
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3 Beat it
Now you have to employ the solution. This may be a change of perception,
full acceptance or another targeted but conscious effort. It may be a phased
approach and require a series of planned steps involving honest and difficult
conversations. But having done the mental preparation, your rationale will be
clear in your own mind and make the prospect of an advantageous outcome
more likely.
If the nature of the problem means it might re-emerge or fluctuate over time,
it is worth noting your thought processes and actions here so that you can
re-examine what went well, what could be improved and what might be best
avoided. It will also help you to see if any proposed solutions are still appropriate.
This isn’t intended to be a checklist. Its main purpose is to encourage a
conscious and considered response to issues that arise rather than one that is
triggered by gut reaction. This may help you to find effective solutions to life’s
problems and in turn improve your wellbeing. A tricky problem requires careful
thought – meet it, greet it and beat it.
Your thoughts and actions
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64

Remains of the day
Evenings have a distinctive mood. Whether it’s the fading light
at sunset or that satisfying sensation of knowing you have a few
quality hours to do whatever brings you joy, there’s a gentle energy
that speaks to the soul and welcomes comforting rituals
Unwinding after a busy day is essential for your wellbeing, and contributes to
a restful night’s sleep. But the evening is also a magical time to be inspired and
appreciative of life. When you’re mindful about how you spend the evening
hours, you can ensure a fulfilling close to the day.
Although evenings offer an opportunity to rest, reflect and restore balance,
what you actually do with these hours depends on your own energetic rhythms
and needs. Some people prefer being alone to enjoy a cosy night in with a
good book or a creative project, while others opt for a livelier end to the day
and enjoy dancing or dining with family and friends. Some people prefer to
stick to the same evening routine day in, day out, while others like spontaneity
and variety so that no two evenings are identical. How you wish to spend
your evenings is really up to you… as long as you believe you’re spending your
time well.
If, however, your evenings seem to disappear into a blur of tiredness, or leave
you feeling dull, bored or empty, then it could be time to consider how you can
make this time more fulfilling.
Do whatever lights you up. Establish what you need. If your days are hectic
and full of chatter, you might relish tranquil, quiet evenings. If you work alone,
then you may prefer your evenings to be sociable and fun. Perhaps you need
an evening routine that will aid a restful night’s sleep and a more organised
start to the next day. Maybe you’re keen to write in your journal or focus on
a creative project. Once you know your priorities, you can make the most of
these hours before darkness.
Remember, though, there is no ‘one evening fits all’. What you do towards
day’s end is a personal choice and depends upon your circumstances. What’s
important is that you choose to spend your evenings in a way that nurtures
and enriches you. Those precious hours before sleep are an opportunity to
appreciate life, to plan and create, or simply to relax, and you’ll wake the next
morning feeling happier, revitalised and primed for your day.
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How to make the
most of your evenings
Plan
Decide how you want to spend your evening and then make space for that to
happen. This might mean making minor changes to existing commitments with
your partner, family or friends. Establish what time you have available and what you
need to put in place to enjoy these few hours.
Unplug
Technology is a wonderful thing, but a constant preoccupation with the internet,
social media, screen-scrolling, television channel hopping and gaming consumes
time and disconnects you from yourself and your loved ones. During the evening,
unplug or limit your use of your computer, phone and other electronics. It’s better
for wellbeing and evidence suggests it can lead to a more restful night’s sleep.
Exercise
Ease the day out of your mind and muscles with gentle exercise. Try yoga, tai chi,
a short cycle ride or a stroll in the park.
Meditate
A brief early-evening meditation can clear the day’s noise and let you step into the
later hours feeling calm and refreshed.
Embellish
It’s the little things that often make the difference. Embellish your cosy evening
space by lighting scented candles, playing soothing music or snuggling up in your
favourite blanket.
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Create
Evenings offer a wonderful time to get creative. Start that writing or art project
you’ve always wanted to do. Learn to sew or knit. Take up pottery. Experiment!
Read
There is nothing quite like spending an evening engrossed in a good story. Reading
will help you detach from the day and is one of the most popular pre-sleep rituals.
Stargaze
On a clear night, find a few moments to look at the stars before you go to bed. It’s
deeply calming and will put your day and any troubles into perspective.
Sleep
A refreshing night’s sleep is the goal at the end of a well-spent evening. Establish a
good routine. Know exactly how many hours you need to be at your best and what
you have to do to ensure you’ll be well rested and revitalised when you wake.
Write
Put pen to paper and write down your thoughts, feelings and ideas in this journal.
This evening ritual lets you release the mind’s chatter so you can look forward to a
restful sleep.
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ORGANISE
Do all the small chores that will bring you peace of mind and prepare you for the
next day. Spend part of your evening tidying up, preparing food and generally
getting ready to start a new day with freshness and purpose.
Your to-do list
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REFLECT
Founding father of the USA, Benjamin Franklin, had a dedicated daily schedule and
a specific evening review. Every night he asked himself: ‘What good have I done
today?’ This evening ritual only took a few minutes, but provided honest reflection
and encouraged him to achieve more good in his life.
How has your day been?
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How do you feel? Celebrate your joy and achievements
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APPRECIATE
Take a few moments to appreciate what’s in your life. Write about it here or add
a note to your gratitude jar. Appreciating and expressing gratitude for all that is
positive and loving in your life is a good way to close the evening.
People who make you smile
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The wonder of nature
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Think of an act of kindness – no matter how small – that touched your soul
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70

Why bother?
People are often their own worst critics. But this tendency to
judge yourself harshly can prevent you from enjoying life
to the full. Switch on your I CAN mode to rekindle a sense
of joy and optimism
Do you too often feel disheartened? Feelings of gloom can descend without
warning, depending on what’s going on in your life: from feeling like you’re
putting more into a relationship than you’re getting out of it, to being
undervalued at work. Sometimes things just seem to be conspiring against you.
And it’s at times like these it can be easy to think to yourself: ‘Why bother?’
It doesn’t have to be this way. The quicker you are able to break the cycle of
these habitual negative emotions, the quicker you will be able to reconnect and
rekindle your more natural sense of optimism, hope and fun.
Let’s start by putting things into perspective. People have at least 40,000
thoughts per day and an estimated 70 per cent of those are negative. The brain is
inclined towards a negativity bias. What does this mean?
Like all mammals, humans are wired up to be prepared for the worst in order
to secure their basic survival. However, in the modern world, when worries are
more likely to refer to money, jobs or families (and not the imminent threat of
an animal attack), this negative bias can become a destructive habit, rather than
a life-saving one. The flipside is that everyone is capable of wonder, uplifting
emotions and extraordinary states of mind that feed curiosity and cultivate a
sense of meaning.
How do you flip that switch in your head when you’re stuck in a negative groove?
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Switch on your ‘I CAN’ mode
Being in a negative state of mind can sap you of energy and motivation. It puts
you on a downward spiral that grinds your life to a halt.
The antidote is vitality and you can start tapping into that energy by using
your imagination – your very own reality generator.
If you can internally connect with your own personal talents, resources and
qualities (not things necessarily valued by others but those which give you
meaning), you’ll instantly feel more of an ‘I CAN’ attitude to life.
To do this, first take time to remind yourself of your strengths and qualities;
let the feelings that arise permeate through your consciousness. Perhaps you feel
that you’re a kind person, that you’re courageous, maybe you value your wit or
generosity – focus on these strengths. Record them here and try to get into the
habit of reading them daily. It may feel strange at first, but soon they will begin
to sink in and you will start to believe in them.
Your strengths and qualities
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You CAN do it
Next, think of an activity, role or relationship that brings you meaning and
happiness. This could be as simple as reminding yourself of something you used
to do, such as playing an instrument, participating in team sports or painting
landscapes. Remember and re-live times when you were able to show your best
self and feel how this ignites motivation in you. Motivation is the natural bridge
to action; to stepping out and living your life more fully.
Times you’ve felt happy
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75

What does joy mean to you? Don't think too much.
Just list all the words and feelings that come to mind
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Meet your inner coach
If you dig a little deeper, beyond your immediate worries, you’ll uncover one
of the greatest and most hidden causes of your gloom and fatigue: your inner
critic. That constant nagging voice that wears everyone down. That voice that
indignantly says you’re not beautiful enough, not clever enough and you have
ideas above your station. ‘Who do you think you are?’ it demands.
Learn to break that negative default setting by uncovering your inner coach or
friend. It could be the voice of someone who has encouraged you in the past, or
perhaps you can find the voice of your own kindness and generosity that you offer
to other people.
When the negative inner critic tries to take hold, call upon your inner friend or coach.
Ask yourself: ‘What would my encouraging inner mentor say now?’ and ‘How would
she make me feel?’
Record your thoughts here
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All it takes is 10 to 15 seconds and you will notice an internal change. You’ll find
cracks appearing in that negative armour, allowing the light of positive thinking
to infiltrate and improve your mood.
Cultivating an ‘I CAN’ approach to life and learning to listen to your inner
coach, rather than giving in to the fears of your inner critic, will lead you towards
a more upbeat and energetic life, full of vitality.
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Comfort and joy
Cultivating positive habits and practices is key to helping you reconnect with the
pleasure of living. Here are some ideas to set you on your way:
1 Take daily walks

British author Virginia Woolf would walk round London every day.
Mingling with people and being curious would give her new ideas and
refresh her thinking.
2 Make time for solitude

Get better acquainted with yourself and the different voices within – coach as
well as critic – by finding a way to disconnect every day.
3 Seek out your friends

Connect with people from the past who don’t cross your path every day.
Send them an email, give them a call for no other reason than to tell them
you’re thinking of them and want to know how they are. These small gestures
generate a huge amount of pleasure and inspiration.
4 Make an ‘artist’s date’

In her bestselling classic The Artist’s Way, author Julia Cameron recommends
booking a weekly ‘artist’s date’ – time set aside to go on an excursion for at
least two hours. Do anything out of the ordinary: go to a paint shop, walk
along the beach, collect leaves on a walk, attend a concert. This activity will
help realign your perspective and ignite your creativity.
5 Talk to strangers
Be curious about, and listen to, people you don’t know. Find opportunities to
strike up exchanges and conversations with strangers. Social interactions can
be predictable. Strangers invariably make you see the world in a different way.
6 Get stuck in and use your hands

Touch directly affects the autonomic nervous system and calms you down.
Instantly transport yourself through pottery, cooking, gardening, sewing,
drawing or playing an instrument.
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Ways you could reconnect with your optimistic side
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C A L M
B L O O M
T R Y
E S C A P E
R E S P O N D
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One word
Choosing a single word to guide you through life’s challenges
can have a surprisingly big impact
The practice of choosing a word and allowing it to guide you is nothing new. In
January 2006, Ali Edwards, a designer, author and workshop instructor who blogs
at aliedwards.com, selected a word to focus on for 12 months while going about
her daily life. The word she chose was ‘play’. ‘I thought a lot about play and what
it means to me,’ she writes. ‘For me, it was a lot about living without fear – about
being more open to experiences with an attitude of playfulness.’ The exercise was
so successful that Ali has spent the years since repeating it with different words.
Among others they have included ‘peace’, ‘nurture’, ‘vitality’, ‘open’ and ‘thrive’.
Part of Ali’s tradition involves asking readers to send in their words, which she
compiles into a master list – these make for fascinating reading. Who would have
guessed, for example, that ‘aroha’ (the Maori word for love and affection) would
ever appear, or that ‘geek’ could be an inspirational term? Most of the words,
however, fall into one of two categories. They either describe things people
would like to add to their lives, or things they would like to remove. The word
‘peace’, for example, makes a regular appearance, while the word ‘fearless’ is a
popular choice. In 2011, Ali’s friend, Liz Lamoreux, read out that year’s list and
sent the audio file to Ali. The result is a poem of sorts – hopes, fears, intentions
and emotions laid bare. The contributors are united by their resolve to instigate
change in their lives. Liz now reads the new list every year.
Word of choice
So how do you choose a word? And what do you do with it? Well, sometimes
the best course of action is to let a word choose you. Is there something you
keep saying, or thinking, to yourself? Maybe you look around your house and
feel overwhelmed by the amount of stuff you own. If so, why not pick a word
that encourages you to take positive action – ‘declutter’, ‘simplify’ or ‘purge’, for
example? Better still, choose a word that sums up how you would like to feel once
your house is clutter free: ‘calm’, ‘peaceful’ or ‘relaxed’, for example. The most
important thing is to choose a word that speaks to you, and try not to be swayed
by other people’s opinions. The word you choose needs to make you feel excited,
empowered and energised. You need to be in love with this word!
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Put it on display
Once you have settled on a word, make sure that it is somewhere that is visible
to you every day. You could write it on a piece of paper and slip it into your
diary or journal. But don’t use any old scrap of paper – this is an important
word. Instead, find a beautifully designed card or a vintage notelet and write
your word with confidence and a flourish. You could even have your word
engraved on a piece of jewellery, or cut out of wood or acrylic and hung on a
wall. The way you display your word is entirely up to you, however it does need
to be visible, to act as a prompt.
Maybe buy a box of beautifully designed alphabet cards, or make your
own. Every so often, take down the cards and use them to spell out a word.
Pick a prominent shelf or windowsill to display them on, and clear away any
surrounding clutter. You want the word to have space to breathe and take on
an air of importance in the room. Once in position, the word will become your
guiding light for the coming days and weeks. Read your word aloud every day.
Turn it into a mantra.
Keep it fresh
It’s okay to change your word if you no longer find it helpful – don’t be a slave
to it. The word you have chosen might only be relevant to a specific project or
certain period in your life. If so, let it go. But make a note of it all the same,
because looking through lists of previous word choices can tell you a great deal
about who you are and who you hope to become.
You can let your word percolate, subtly influencing your actions, or you
can use it more directly to assist you in decision-making. If you get a bit
lost, stop what you’re doing and ask yourself what you can do right now to
honour your word. If you have chosen ‘declutter’, for instance, why not
throw away all the old, dried-up pens on your desk? Similarly, if your word
is ‘calm’, take a couple of mindful breaths, no matter where you are or what
you are doing. They may be small steps, but each one will carry you closer to
your goal.
Take the word ‘respond’, for instance. This might remind you that while
you may not be able to change certain events in your life, you can choose the
way you respond to them. It could be used to help you when you encounter
challenges at work, or to calm you down when you feel impatient with a loved
one or friend.
Focusing on one word can be powerful and lead to genuine life change. It can
provide focus and comfort, and it can be liberating. It can teach you what you
need most in your life, and go some way to suggest how you might achieve it.
It’s just one little word, but it can have a huge impact.
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Your words
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83

Crafting a better state of mind
Studies show that crafting reduces stress and anxiety,
and boosts positivity and connectedness
Creative activities are increasingly being recognised as a way of coping with

problems such as anxiety and depression. Colouring as therapy, creative
papercrafts, scrapbooking and peaceful needlecrafts such as knitting, crochet,
embroidery and hand quilting can all be practised in conjunction with
mindfulness techniques to produce a more spiritual experience – but even as
standalone activities their benefits are clear.
In a quick-fix, disposable, consumer society, handmade gifts – for yourself or
others – show care and attention. Then there’s the crafting itself. It gives you
something to do with your hands, it’s a pleasingly tactile activity, and when you
finish a project you have achieved something you can really be proud of.
Knitting is the new yoga
Knitting has been found to have benefits for health and wellbeing, and has even
been called the new yoga. Former physiotherapist and knitter Betsan Corkhill
has spent more than a decade looking into the way therapeutic knitting can
make lives better. In her book Knit for Health & Wellness, she notes the way the
rhythm of knitting can bring on a meditative state, calming knitters and helping
them to think more clearly. The position of their hands can help them to feel
their personal space is protected, while research has shown that the way the
hands cross the midline of the body may affect the perception of pain.
Betsan writes: ‘Studies in animals have shown that repetitive movement
enhances the release of serotonin. Serotonin raises mood, but it also calms and is
an analgesic. People often instinctively engage in repetitive, rhythmic movement
when they are stressed or traumatised. They are intuitively self-soothing as they
rock, pace or tap. Frequent knitting (more than three times a week) can help
people feel calmer and happier, even those suffering from clinical depression.’
Other studies support Betsan’s research. In a survey of more than 3,000
members of an online knitting community, 82 per cent said they felt happy after
knitting, nearly half said it helped them think through their problems and nearly
two-thirds reported an increase in confidence, according to research by the
University of Exeter Medical School and De Agostini Publishing.
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‘You can’t use up
creativity. The more you
use, the more you have.’
Maya Angelou
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86

It sounds good on paper
One of the more surprising creative pastimes that has been linked to wellbeing
is adult colouring books, the sales of which have taken off as more people look
for a simple, tried and tested way to switch off from the stresses and strains of
everyday life.
The craze may be relatively new, but psychologists and therapists have
known about the benefits of colouring for a long time. Carl Jung, the Swiss
psychiatrist who worked with Sigmund Freud and founded analytical psychology,
recommended colouring to his patients, believing it would help them access their
subconscious and self-knowledge. Today, psychologists encourage their patients
to colour as a way to relax and meditate. This simple, easy activity – which for
many will bring back memories of happier childhood days – can distract you
from niggling problems and even help you to sleep. And it’s been found to help
with more serious problems too.
Those suffering from anxiety, stress and even post-traumatic stress disorder
can find relief in colouring, which calms down the amygdala, the part of the
brain responsible for the fight-or-flight response. On top of that, colouring
can help with concentration, focus and fine motor skills, and is a great way of
practising mindfulness. Counsellor Dr Nikki Martinez writes in the Huffington
Post: ‘There are many times when I suggest adult colouring books to my patients,
and they look at me as though we should be switching seats. However, time and
again, they come back to me and tell me how beneficial they find them.’
Therapists have also found that origami, the Japanese art of paper folding,
helps with focus and concentration, and, because it requires patience, can help
people to work through anger and frustration. Other paper crafts are just as
beneficial. Countless studies have found that altruism and giving can help people
connect socially and provide a buffer against stress. So, card-making and creating
paper gifts will help you just as much as they help the person you’re making them
for, while combining the catharsis of journaling with beautiful paper crafts will
leave you with a beautiful memory as well as a sense of release. So what are you
waiting for? It’s time to get crafting.
‘The desire to create is one of the

deepest yearnings of the human soul’
Dieter F. Uchtdorf
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Five steps to mindful crafting
1 Clear your workspace

A clear space will help you find a clear state of mind and allow you to
concentrate fully on your craft.
2 Enjoy its tactile nature

Focus on the different textures and sensations, and fully embrace
the experience.
3 Get into a rhythm

Whether you’re sewing, knitting, crocheting, embroidering, colouring, cutting
or sticking, fall into a regular pace that suits you and enjoy the pattern.
4 Feel the flow

Getting really stuck into your craft can help you move into a meditative
state, sometimes known as flow, which can ease symptoms of depression
and anxiety.

5 Be proud
Whether you’re working on a big project that will take months to finish, or a
quick fix that leaves you with a beautifully finished object at the end of your
session, take time to look at your work, enjoy it and acknowledge what you
have accomplished.
Use the following colouring patterns to clear your mind and lighten your mood
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Smarter connection
Establishing boundaries and being mindful of your online usage
(as well as your reactions) means you're more likely to enjoy a
beneficial relationship with social media
There are many positives to be found in the creation and growth of social media.
Communication has broadened and reached further around the world because of
it. It’s done wonderful things to bring together like-minded people and to shrink
the world virtually. People, who in previous decades would most likely never
have met in real life, can find each other through similar interests, share their
knowledge and in some cases create deep friendships and supportive communities.
But nothing is perfect, and there can be a downside. What people learn of a
person through their status updates and posted photos doesn’t represent their
whole life. Social media posts are simply snapshots. Without a documentary crew
following someone 24 hours a day, you have no way of knowing what their life is
truly like. You don’t know what struggles they wrestle with, what challenges they
face, how they really feel or what they spend each waking moment doing. A photo
on Instagram or a status post on Facebook only gives you a glimpse of a person
and, as such, you can’t accurately form an opinion of them or their life. That
doesn’t stop people trying, though.
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What stories are you telling yourself?
How often do you scroll through social media, seeing images of a group of
friends having fun or a beautifully decorated, tidy living room, and imagine
the people who posted these photos live this way all the time? They’re
constantly having wonderful, carefree, fabulous experiences with their equally
fabulous friends. Or their whole house is gorgeous, neat and perfectly styled,
with no mess to be seen. There’s a minuscule chance these stories are true:
it’s not impossible, but it is highly improbable. When you stop to think for a
moment, you know that no one lives life as a 24/7 party. Everyone has to do the
mundane, ordinary things at some point, usually every day, and no one spends
every waking minute in a social whirlwind.
Just because people choose not to share the mess, but instead to post a moment
that was happy, celebratory or particularly pretty, doesn’t mean they’re being
inauthentic or presenting a fake version of themselves to the world. After all, who
really wants to share photos of their family arguing, or the kitchen table covered
in breakfast leftovers, random socks and unfinished homework? And who really
wants to see them?
Social media posts are edited highlights of a person’s life, they’re not a
documentary. Take these posts for what they are: snippets. Don’t use them
as an opportunity to make up stories about what someone’s life is like or
to compare it to your own. You can use status updates and photo posts as a
positive prompt. Let someone’s post about friends enjoying dinner together
remind you to get in touch with a mate about meeting for a coffee or a glass of
wine. Use photos you see of delicious-looking cakes as a reminder to try out
that recipe you found, or to pop to the shops for a treat. If you scroll past an
image of a stunning sunset, let it act as a reminder to look up from your phone
and see the beauty in your patch of the world.
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By being aware of how you’re feeling, and what you’re telling yourself as you
scroll through social media, you’re better able to see it for what it is, and not let
it negatively impact your mood or feelings of self-worth. You can’t control what
others post, but you can decide how much of it you view and how you respond to it.
Notice how you feel before you start flicking through your favourite social media
platforms, and think about how that changes as you scroll. If you start to feel fed
up or dissatisfied, ask yourself why that is. What are you seeing that’s changing
your emotions?
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Challenge the assumptions you’re making about the people behind the posts.
Why do you think they have the perfect relationship/home/job/life? What’s the
concrete evidence that their life is wonderful? Even if it is, why should someone
else’s life diminish or elevate yours?
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Your social media presence
As well as considering how you soak up and respond to social media, it’s worth
considering your personal contribution to the digital world. What you share is
your choice and your responsibility. Once you’ve posted it online, it’s out there,
forever. You can limit who sees your updates to an extent, but it’s still worth
giving some thought to how posts could affect your life or that of your family.
A simple rule of thumb is that if you wouldn’t say it in a room full of people,
don’t say it on social media. Think about who could see your posts – other family
members, friends, colleagues, employers, customers? How will the people you
feature in your posts feel about it, even in a few years’ time?
Give some thought to how you’re representing yourself to the outside world
through your posts. Would people recognise it if they met you in the real
world? Are the updates and messages you’re putting out making a positive
or negative contribution?
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Keep a diary
Every time you see the number of likes on one of your posts or photos, you get
little shots of dopamine and oxytocin that make you feel good and drive you to
want more. This, in turn, makes you want to check your social media accounts
more often, to see if anyone has liked or commented on your posts, and to
experience those happy chemical hits again. You don’t need to be a slave to social
media addiction, however. It takes effort, but you can decide how much time you
spend scrolling, and when to switch off.
Pay more attention to when and how often you flick through your social media
and whether it’s a good time to be doing it. Try keeping a social media diary – just
for a day. Note down every time you check your accounts and for how long
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Take a break
Before you move to tap once more on those little app icons, pause for a moment
to consider why you’re logging in.
Are you avoiding work? Are you looking for approval on your post?
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What would happen if you didn’t check in, and instead continued with what
you were doing?
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Challenge yourself to wait 10 more minutes before checking, set a timer if you
need to. When the time is up and you flick through your social media accounts,
was it worth the wait? Did you miss anything by waiting 10 minutes?
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Establish your boundaries

Declaring a self-imposed digital ban for days on end is not necessarily practical or
sustainable. But simple rules – say, no scrolling in the first hour of the day, while
eating or after 9pm – may be more achievable.
Social media is a powerful and brilliant tool. But it is just that: a tool. You
decide how often to use it, you choose how much of yourself to invest in it and
you have a say in how you respond to other people’s content. Use social media to
connect with others, learn, find kindred spirits, be inspired, be motivated, share
knowledge and see the beauty in the world.
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Time to reflect
Use the changes in the seasonal cycle to tune into your natural
intuition and consider what’s going well for you – and what you
need to focus on next
Most people have an innate compass that directs them towards what they need in
their lives. Sometimes, though, it can be tricky to read its direction, and a period
of reflection is needed. Often, there is no better time to do this than when the
seasons change.
Life is not a straight path from beginning to end, but resembles cycles that
vary and fluctuate. Most obvious is the ‘diurnal’ cycle, the 24-hour period around
which most of the world operates, and which dictates men’s hormonal patterns.
Few question the benefits of sleeping at night and being active during the day.
Less commonly observed is the lunar cycle, which has measurable effects on
behaviours and tendencies. People are more extroverted during the full moon
and introverted during the new moon, for instance. Traditionally, Western
culture honoured and cherished the seasonal cycle, but in recent years this has
diminished in importance.
‘The only way to make sense out of

change is to plunge into it, move with it,
and join the dance.’
Alan Watts
98

99

Yin and yang
With the seasons, there are times of rising and falling energy. In traditional
Chinese medicine, these are characterised as yin and yang: yin for slow, dark,
reflective, inward-looking; yang for fast, bright, energetic, outward-looking.
Modern society promotes the idea of constantly being in a yang frame of mind.
People are supposed to be busy all the time, always socialising, getting things
done, being active and looking out for others. But this goes against the wisdom
of seasonal cycles. It is helpful to be active, productive and outgoing during
the yang seasons (spring and summer), but it is also helpful to be quiet, still,
reflective and introverted during the yin seasons (autumn and winter). This
gives a long-lasting sense of balance, harmony and mental stability.
If you are sensitive to shifts in yin/yang energy, you may notice that your
feelings are markedly different on the longest and shortest days of the year.
For example, perhaps you are restless in the week or so before 21 June, the
summer solstice in the Northern Hemisphere. The rising yang energy can be
stimulating and many people are able to function quite effectively on less sleep.
Once the solstice has passed, there can be a sense of relief and relaxation.
Although it is just the beginning of meteorological summer, the days are
beginning to get shorter. This move back towards yin energy is welcome
and refreshing.
During these periods, it’s sensible to take extra care of health and wellbeing,
and to listen to what your body wants you to do. Harmonising with nature and
what is going on around you can be a great way to follow the natural rhythm of
your body in connection with your surroundings.
As the time of the winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere – 21 December
– approaches, the season is one of reflection. It is strange that, on what is the
most yin day of the year, many are shopping for gifts and going to parties when
they might find an evening of quietness and withdrawal more beneficial.
You already know what you need
Intuition is one of the most powerful forms of bodily knowledge – most people
know instinctively what they need in life. But it’s easy to underestimate this.
Perhaps you are sceptical of intuition or have trouble identifying – or
believing you have – intuitive feelings. If so, explore the following reflective
activities and consider your responses. It could be you know the answers to
some of the most pressing questions. You may even already know the direction
you want your life to take, but so far you haven’t trusted that small voice inside.
Take this opportunity to create an open space to listen to your answers, take
them seriously and decide to take action on what you discover. It may turn out
to be the start of a beautiful journey towards the places you most want to be.
100

Ready to reflect
Set aside time to try a few of these activities and, as you
look back over your life, begin to tap into your intuition
Meditation moment
• If your mind is busy ruminating, all that mental chatter can block out
your intuitive voice. Take a few moments to quieten your mind. Close
the door, turn off your phone and move away from your computer.
• Take a few deep, slow breaths and feel your body start to relax.
Focus your attention only on inhaling and exhaling. When thoughts
come, picture them as clouds floating by in the sky. Then refocus on
your breath.
• Now, keeping your eyes closed, cultivate a sense of reflection by
thinking back over the past year. If a particular event pops up, stay
with it for a while to see if the memory has any messages for you.
Accept any thoughts or feelings as they come, acknowledge them
and then let them go.
• This could take 10 minutes or half an hour – it’s really up to you.
After this process, you may find a renewed sense of direction
and clarity.
Access your intuitive mind

Make a pendulum out of a coin or other small weight, sellotape and a
length of string. When you hold this pendulum above a surface – say,
a piece of paper – it will start swinging or moving depending on the
imperceptible movements of your hand. The idea is that you can ask
yourself simple questions that have a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer, and the
pendulum will move a different way depending on what your intuitive
answer to the question is. Perhaps your pendulum moves clockwise for
‘yes’ and anti-clockwise for ‘no’. Or it could move in a circular fashion
for ‘yes’ and a linear fashion for ‘no’. Find out what your own pattern
is by asking easy questions. Then ask yourself harder questions (with a
‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer) and see what your intuitive mind says. Eventually,
over time, you won’t need the pendulum in order to access your
intuition. You will instantly know how you feel.
101

Question yourself
Write below a list of questions about what has happened to you over the past
year. For example: ‘What has made you happy? What have you appreciated?’ Focus
on the positives as well as the negatives, and make sure to include space to think
about problem areas as well as success stories. You could write: ‘Has anything not
happened that I wish had happened?’ or ‘If I could change one thing about this year, it
would be…’. This task is not meant to be disheartening, simply eye-opening. If you
feel you are getting stuck rehashing old events, shift your focus to more positive
ones. The answers to these questions may not come to you immediately. Be
prepared to sit with the questions and see what happens. Your answers, when they
do come to mind, can be an excellent prompt for you to focus more on the things
that truly make you happy going forward.
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Free-writing
You can either free-write answers to the questions you listed previously or free-
write anything that comes to mind. This is essentially a creative process where
you put pen to paper and write whatever emerges in your head, without paying
too much attention to the words or filtering or judging them. It can help to have a
starting point. If you find yourself writing a list of events, perhaps try connecting
to their emotional memories. Don’t worry if what you have written does not make
any sense. Free-writing works best when it is not structured or planned. Take some
time away from what you have written and come back to it with a fresh mind. You
may have a new view or begin to sense intuitive feelings about the direction in
which you want to go.
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Let’s dance
Be it ballroom, ballet or bolero – or just good old bopping around
the kitchen – the physical and psychological benefits of dancing
are impressive. So, kick off your shoes and turn the music up – it’s
time to let your feet get happy
104

Just for kids?
The ability to escape to another world through the power of movement and
music is a wonderful feeling. For many people, though, this natural inclination
to dance – regardless of where they are or who they’re with – becomes inhibited
as the years pass, until finally it’s reserved for family weddings or a surreptitious
wiggle while stuck in traffic.
Why do people dance?
In prehistoric times dance was used as a form of communication, bonding and

flirtation – a way to attract a mate. Current examples of the latter include the
slow, seductive rumba, aka the ‘dance of love’, and the equally charged, but
faster-paced Spanish flamenco, with its hand-clapping and foot-stomping. It can
also symbolises a sense of belonging and identity: for example, the ceremonial
village dances to mark the coming of age of a young Maasai warrior; or, the
Morris dance, performed in England, which has its origins in the Cotswolds
and celebrates the region’s villages and people.
Why should people dance?
On a physical level, the cardiovascular element of simply moving your body

more helps to strengthen the heart and lungs, which over time increases stamina.
Bones become stronger, meaning reduced risk of osteoporosis. Muscles are
also strengthened, and flexibility and posture improve. Add to that improved
coordination and balance, and the all-over physical gains have the edge over
many other activities.
Then there are the psychological benefits, which are equally impressive.
Research by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine showed dance to have
a significant impact on improving brain health, including a reduced risk of
dementia as a result of the simultaneous combination of physical and cognitive
demands. So, in a nutshell, the more you dance, the sharper you become.
Finally, comes the emotional upswing – or ‘happy feet’. As Austrian writer
Vicki Baum said: ‘There are shortcuts to happiness and dancing is one of them.’
But why? Firstly, mood-improving chemicals receive a huge boost, with the
release of endorphins and increased production of serotonin and dopamine – the
‘feel-good’ hormones. Also, as you dance, your body and mind work in beautiful
synergy and you become fully engaged in the music. This focus helps to reduce
cortisol – the stress hormone – and promotes a sense of relaxation that helps
people to manage stress levels more effectively. So, you’re quite literally able to
dance your cares away. It really doesn’t matter whether you think you’re any good
at it. See it as playing and experimenting; laughing while learning.
105

Where do you start?
The popularity of television shows such as Strictly Come Dancing has fuelled
an increase in demand for adult classes, and dance schools around the country
are expanding their offerings to meet this demographic. In London, the Royal
Academy of Dance (rad.org.uk) offers a range of beginner-level courses in ballet,
contemporary and jazz aimed at adults with no previous experience, as well as
the pioneering Dance for Lifelong Wellbeing project that provides the over-60s
with free classes to improve their health and wellbeing.
There is also a plethora of village halls, leisure clubs and community centres
offering the opportunity to sample anything from salsa to swing, as well as dance
as meditation.
106

Do try this at home
Dancing with others not your thing? Then experience the wonderful freedom
and enjoyment of dance at home. Try this exercise:
• Choose your ‘dance floor’. Whether it’s the kitchen, garage or bedroom, find
a space where you feel relaxed and won’t be disturbed.
• Make yourself comfortable. Wear clothes that will enable you to move freely.
If possible, go barefoot. The soles of your feet are extremely sensitive; allowing
them to make contact with the ground beneath you provides a comforting sense
of grounding and connection.
• Choose your soundtrack. Maybe some old favourites that evoke happy
memories, upbeat dance music to energise and uplift, or stirring classical tracks
that transport you to beautiful landscapes. Choose something that really
captures the way you want to feel.
• Let it go. Give yourself permission to really let go. Close your eyes, if that feels
easier. Feel the music in your body and allow yourself to move with the rhythm.
Whether a gentle sway, a steady shuffle, or wild arm-waving – do what feels
good for you.
• Notice the sensations. What do you feel in your mind and body as you move?
Connect with the emotions that are stirred. Allow your mind to let go of any
negative thoughts. Allow any feelings of tension to be released from the body.
Embrace the feeling of freedom and let it fill your heart. Invite those delicious
ripples of euphoria to be absorbed from head to toe.
• Relax, smile and, most importantly, enjoy.
So, whether it’s a carefully choreographed foxtrot, some creatively improvised

contemporary, or a simple shimmy around the kitchen, it’s proven that dancing is
good for your health and wellbeing. It's time to set your inner child free and dance
like there’s no one watching.
‘Dance is the hidden language

of the soul, of the body’
Martha Graham
107

Fiction in a flash
How many words does it take to tell a story?
Welcome to the growing phenomenon of microfiction
108

‘For sale: baby shoes, never worn.’
Legend has it that this was a novel in six words created by author Ernest
Hemingway on the back of an envelope for a bet. The link to Hemingway may be
spurious, but the tale answers a question that has intrigued writers and readers
for decades: how many words do you need to tell a story?
Flash fiction is the generic term for very short fiction – generally defined
as pieces between six and 1,000 words. The genre is gaining interest and
importance, with a growing number of online magazines, competitions and
anthologies dedicated to stories in varying degrees of brevity. ‘It is definitely
getting more popular,’ says Joanna Sterling, who runs a website called The Casket
of Fictional Delights, which combines her interest in collecting brooches with
flash fiction. ‘There are really quite mainstream competitions, and people see it
as an entryway to getting into writing books because it’s quite short to write.’
Flash fiction is also known as microfiction and has nearly as many names
and sub-categories as words per story. Six words seems to be the minimum, a
number picked not just for Hemingway’s legendary ‘novel’, but also for a popular
series of memoirs collected by US-based online storytelling magazine Smith. The
publication’s book, Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs from Writers
Famous & Obscure, collected nearly 1,000 of these snippets, and became a New
York Times bestseller that spawned follow-up collections on love and teenagers.
Twitterature
The next-shortest category is Twitterature: 140-character stories published on the

social media site with the hashtag #TwitterFiction. The Guardian was so taken with
the form that it asked 21 authors to come up with novels in 140 characters. Jeffrey
Archer wrote: ‘“It’s a miracle he survived,” said the doctor. “It was God’s will,” said
Mrs Schicklgruber. “What will you call him?” “Adolf,” she replied.’
Helen Fielding’s version was: ‘OK. Should not have logged on to your email but
suggest if going on marriedaffair.com don’t use our children’s names as password.’
And S.J. Watson wrote: ‘She thanks me for the drink, but says we’re not suited. I’m a
little “intense”. So what? I followed her home. She hasn’t seen anything yet.’
109

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Nifty at fifty
The next step up is the 50-word dribble, followed by 55-word 55 Fiction, which
itself is a sub-genre of the 100-word drabble, a format which has developed a
huge following. The term was coined in Monty Python’s Big Red Book, which
described it as a word game where the first participant to write a novel was the
winner. To make the game possible in the real world it was limited to 100 words,
a concept believed to have originated in UK science-fiction fandom in the 1980s.
What makes a good piece of flash fiction?
Twists and turns. Kit de Waal, author of bestselling novel My Name is Leon and
occasional judge of The Casket of Fictional Delights competition, is looking
for ‘a whole story that gives me depth and breadth, a beginning, a middle and
an end but, just like a novel, not necessarily in that order! I’m looking for a turn
in the story, something that propels it forward, maybe something unsettling
or surprising. But I don’t like gimmicks and tricks, I’m not keen on a rabbit out
of the hat. For me, flash fiction has a sense of slow burn, something that will
resonate with you long after the last word is read.’
Make every word count. Flash fiction writer and poet Meg Pokrass insists it’s
important to take your time over even the very shortest stories. She says: ‘If one
were writing a poem, would one think that because of the small word count, it
could be dashed off? No. With poetry it is understood that revision is everything.
It is the same way with flash.
‘Editing and revising is the hard part, and most important. One must cut
out every non-essential word with flash fiction, and work with use of language
and imagery. Are the sentences beautiful? If not, you’re going to lose the reader.
Sometimes, a lengthy break is necessary – putting a story away and coming back
to it much later. I often revise a piece for months and sometimes years before
everything settles right.’
Reel the reader in. The Casket of Fictional Delights’ Joanna adds: ‘Even though
a flash fiction doesn’t have many words it still needs to tell a story, with a
beginning, middle and end. Flash fiction is not poetry. It does not have to have
swathes of descriptive detail or character development, but the reader must feel
engaged and part of the narrative.’
111

Pen to paper
Use these tips to get your flash fiction off to a great start
Find your idea. ‘I will get ideas from weird sources, like going to a news website and
looking for the ones that are hidden,’ says Erinna.
Search for inspiration. Website visualverse.org publishes an image each month and
challenges writers to come up with fiction or poetry between 50 and 500 words
long, which are then published online.
Look around you. ‘Maybe you will see or hear something fun or unusual in the
street or on the train, such as a person with a cumbersome parcel,’ says Joanna. ‘Ask
yourself: What’s in the parcel? Where are they going? Why is the person sitting on
it? Why is it tied up with bright pink string? Use the incident and invent details.’
Have a way with words. Pick three words at random and weave them into a story.
Don’t try to cover too much. ‘Pick a particular incident or moment but don’t give a
verbatim account: turn it, twist it in some way,’ says Joanna.
Flash fiction may be gaining in literary clout and popularity, but at six to 1,000 words
its sheer brevity makes it one of the most accessible forms of writing for budding
authors. Use the following pages to map out your own ideas and try writing your first
piece of flash fiction.
Your ideas
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Literary inspiration
Grab the closest book to you. Turn to page 18, read the fifth
line down and make the next full sentence your starting point
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Blank canvas
Take a few minutes to clear your mind. Close your eyes, breathe
deeply and focus on nothing. Then write whatever comes into
your head
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By the clock
Set your timer, give yourself one hour and see what you come
up with
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Word search
Eccentricity. Rug. Deathbed.
Take these three words and tie them together in a story
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In the bag
Imagine you’ve found a bag in the street. What is inside?
What do you learn about the bag and the person it belongs to?
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Current affairs
Think of a news story you’ve read today, or an anecdote you have
heard. Pick a person in that snippet and tell the tale from their
point of view
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Green is the colour of...
Use this as the start of your story
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Ways to stay creative
in a busy life
1 Out and about

People-watching can be a great inspiration. Conversations overheard on a bus
could feed into your novels, someone else’s clothes could prompt your next fashion
design or the countryside outside the train window could be a future painting.
What do you notice?
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2 Power lunch
Spend your lunch break drafting your novel, taking photographs around
the area or sitting and sketching.
3 Surf’s up
No time for a lunch break? Take 10 minutes to browse inspiring websites
like Pinterest, Etsy or Instagram.
4 Screen time
Do you really need that much of it? Could you take half an hour out of your
evening’s social media browsing or TV viewing to work on your art?
5 Morning motivation
Weekend lie-ins can be heaven, and you can look forward to that date with
your duvet all week long. Just once though, try setting your alarm clock early on a
weekend morning, get up before everyone else and spend that quiet time with your
art. You may find you achieve more than you expect.
120

6 Culture vulture
There is always more to learn from truly great artists. Visit
an art gallery, unearth your Shakespeare or tune in to Radio 3 to
catch up on some great classics, even if it’s only for a few minutes.
7 Social skills
Meeting friends? Instead of heading for the pub, why not
use this as an opportunity to be more creative? Start a knitting
circle, a writing group or a book club and share your art with
your friends.
8 It’s a way of life

If your nine to five is really stopping you pursuing your
dreams, could you change your life to give your art greater priority? Can you make
money from your creativity, or could you cut down on household costs so you can
work fewer hours and devote more time to your real love?
9 Meditation station
When it feels like everyday worries, chores and just general stuff are stifling
your creativity, take time out to clear your mind. Spend 5, 10 or 20 minutes focusing
on your breathing and allowing thoughts to come and go without overwhelming
you. It could be the mental break that gets you unblocked.
10 Dream catcher
Some of the greatest artworks of all time came to their authors fully
formed in dreams, like Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s poem Kubla Khan.
Use this space to record inspiration that strikes after sleeping
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122

Yoga for wellbeing
A simple yoga practice can connect your wellbeing to the world around you.
Have you ever stopped to observe a tree? It stands tall and strong, rooted in
the ground, surviving all seasons. Practising Vriksasana, or tree pose, helps
you to stand equally as tall and strong. A grounding posture, it brings peace
and calm to the mind and body, while lengthening the spine.
How to practise tree pose

Stand with your arms by your side – palms open and facing frontwards. Take a
moment to breathe deeply, connect with your core and ground your feet with the
earth below.
On an in-breath, bring your hands into prayer position at the centre of your chest.
Take a few breaths, enjoying the peace and calm of this position.
Shift your weight onto your right foot. Imagine it has roots growing into the ground.
Slowly bend your left knee and then gently place the sole of your left foot against
your right leg – you can use your hand to guide the foot. It can be along the inner
thigh or the lower part of the leg, anywhere along the leg that feels comfortable,
but never against the knee (this can cause injury). Some yogis place their foot with
the toes resting on the floor and the sole against the right ankle.
On an out-breath, raise your palms in prayer position above your head. Take a few
deep breaths in this position, with chest and shoulders open wide and legs strong
and grounded.
Lower your arms back down to prayer pose in front of your chest, and lower your
left foot back to standing position.
Take a moment to observe how your body feels. Now repeat the exercise on the
other side of the body, grounding through your left leg and bringing the right foot
to the left thigh. Practising tree pose on both sides will balance out the body. Stay
grounded. You will soon be as strong, tall and majestic as a mighty oak.
Top tips
• If you feel a bit wobbly, open the arms wide to help maintain balance.
• To maintain focus, keep your eyes open and direct your gaze towards
a fixed object directly ahead of you.
123

Conqueror’s breath
Another simple but effective yoga exercise is Ujjayii pranayama,
also know as conqueror’s or ocean’s breath. The practice of this
breathing technique encourages the mind to become more focused,
aids concentration and improves positivity. It generates internal
heat and reduces respiratory problems, and can also help to reduce
stress and anxiety.
124

How to practise conqueror's breath
1 Sit in a seated position, tall and upright, straight spine, relaxed shoulders and
face. Your eyes can be open or closed, whichever you find most comfortable.
2 Sit for a moment, breathing at your regular pace and allow your body and mind
to relax.
3 Now take a deep breath in through your nose. As you exhale, round your
mouth and flow the breath up along the throat and out through the mouth –
just as you would breathe when fogging up a mirror, making a ‘HA’ sound.
4 Practise this breath flow for a couple of minutes and concentrate on feeling
how the air travels through the throat and out through the mouth.
5 Once you’re comfortable with this flow of breath, you’re ready to do Ujjayii
breathing. Close your mouth and repeat the breath flow described above, but
this time when you come to exhale, do so through the nose. On the exhalation,
you will observe a gentle ocean sound as the breath flows up along the curved
back of the throat.
6 Try to keep the breathing ratio as one second on the inhalation

and two seconds on the exhalation.
For beginners, it’s best to limit your practice of the Ujjayii breath flow technique –
in through the nose and out through the nose – to no longer than five minutes.
Observe how your mind and body feels afterwards.
Now, whenever you find yourself in a situation when you’re feeling anxious and
stressed, instead of letting it get the better of you, practise some Ujjayii breathing.
125

How does yoga affect your wellbeing? Use these pages to
note your different feelings after each simple yoga practice
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Breathe
and make time for yourself
BREATHE is a trademark of Guild of Master Craftsman Publications Ltd
First published 2018 by

Ammonite Press
an imprint of Guild of Master Craftsman Publications Ltd
Castle Place, 166 High Street, Lewes, East Sussex BN7 1XU, United Kingdom
www.ammonitepress.com
www.breathemagazine.com
Copyright in the Work © GMC Publications Ltd, 2018
Compiled by Susie Duff

Editorial: Catherine Kielthy, Jane Roe
Words credits: Christine Boggis, Zoe Bowman, Jim Butler, Tracy Calder, Lorna Cowan, Liz Dobbs,
Juliana Kassianos, Nichola Ludlam-Raine, Lara Morgan, Dean Ratore, Gabrielle Treanor,
Renée van der Vloodt, Simone Scott, Carol Anne Strange, Dawattie Basdeo
Cover illustration: Sarah Wilkins

Illustrations and photographs: Shutterstock.com, Alamy.com, Getty.com,
Sara Thielker, Valesca Van Waveren, Laura Backeberg
ISBN 978-1-78145-469-5
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form
or by any means (including electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without prior
written permission from the publisher.
The publishers can accept no legal responsibility for any consequences arising from the application of
information, advice or instructions given in this publication.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Colour reproduction by GMC Reprographics

Printed and bound in China

Untitled-1 3 22/11/2022 16:41
Untitled-1 3 22/11/2022 16:41
Untitled-1 3 22/11/2022 16:41
Wellbeing
JOURNAL
Positive thinking, creative escapes, eating well, spending time

outside and regular exercise – all of these things can work
wonders for physical and psychological wellbeing. They can
also help to establish a slower pace of life and a healthy self-
awareness. And that’s what this Wellbeing Journal is all about.
Brought to you by the creators of Breathe, the original
mindfulness magazine, its collection of beautifully illustrated
articles and brand new exercises, prompts and planners are
designed to bring balance to busy lives in a practical and
uplifting way. Ready to make more time for yourself? A few
simple, gradual changes is all it takes.
£12.99
ISBN: 978-1-78145-469-5
9 781781 454695 >

www.ammonitepress.com
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Breathe Journal - Wellbeing

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Wellbeing

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Make yourself right at home 18

Create your own mental health first aid kit 24

Wide awake – and worried 32

Mind how you grow 40

An open look at problems 58

Remains of the day 64

Crafting a better state of mind 84

Let’s dance 104

Fiction in a flash 108

Ways to stay creative in a busy life 120

Yoga for wellbeing 122

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3 Give yourself ‘grey time’

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Things I’ve done that deserve celebrating

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Essentially, the movement is about letting go of the need to be busy, to be always

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What in your life makes you feel busy?

When did you last feel connected to those around you?

Is anything stopping you from slowing down right now?

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Reflection of the inner self

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What would you change to make it the home you desire?

The mindful clear-out

Reasons to live a clutter-free life

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Keep it under control

Things you need to buy

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Keeping your home in shipshape condition doesn’t need to be a drag. In Zen

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Mindful activities you’d like to try

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Your comfort playlist

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Choose your scent

NOW TRY THIS EXERCISE...

Note how it makes you feel

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Your action list

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