This document provides 6 essentials for making real change: 1) Befriend your nervous system and address dysregulation through self-care habits, 2) See yourself as a complex human rather than a to-do list, 3) Learn the language of your body to access your true self, 4) Develop a consistent practice to see your true self through peaks and valleys, 5) Show up for yourself even when it's difficult, and 6) Live in the present moment rather than waiting for "real life" to start in the future. Making real change requires addressing basic human needs, finding your deepest motivation or "why", and using discipline to maintain consistency.
This document provides 6 essentials for making real change: 1) Befriend your nervous system and address dysregulation through self-care habits, 2) See yourself as a complex human rather than a to-do list, 3) Learn the language of your body to access your true self, 4) Develop a consistent practice to see your true self through peaks and valleys, 5) Show up for yourself even when it's difficult, and 6) Live in the present moment rather than waiting for "real life" to start in the future. Making real change requires addressing basic human needs, finding your deepest motivation or "why", and using discipline to maintain consistency.
This document provides 6 essentials for making real change: 1) Befriend your nervous system and address dysregulation through self-care habits, 2) See yourself as a complex human rather than a to-do list, 3) Learn the language of your body to access your true self, 4) Develop a consistent practice to see your true self through peaks and valleys, 5) Show up for yourself even when it's difficult, and 6) Live in the present moment rather than waiting for "real life" to start in the future. Making real change requires addressing basic human needs, finding your deepest motivation or "why", and using discipline to maintain consistency.
This document provides 6 essentials for making real change: 1) Befriend your nervous system and address dysregulation through self-care habits, 2) See yourself as a complex human rather than a to-do list, 3) Learn the language of your body to access your true self, 4) Develop a consistent practice to see your true self through peaks and valleys, 5) Show up for yourself even when it's difficult, and 6) Live in the present moment rather than waiting for "real life" to start in the future. Making real change requires addressing basic human needs, finding your deepest motivation or "why", and using discipline to maintain consistency.
MAKING REAL CHANGE. So you can stop watching videos on how to do the thing, and actually do the thing.
BY NINA DEFRANCISCO
@mindbodynina Hey. We'll get straight into it.
But first, I want to thank you for being here and for showing up for yourself. Fear is often at the root of resistance to change. So, to choose change is to walk towards fear and loss in exchange for a version of yourself that you believe is worthy of being brought to life.
Bold move.
I like it.
These 12 pages won't transform your life.
Only you can do that.
I'm just here to offer a few considerations to you on your
journey.
Enjoy.
@mindbodynina 1. Befriend your nervous system. She's the quarterback of your team.
Your nervous system regulates every other system in your
body. If it's thrown out of balance (dysregulation), then the rest of the body (or the rest of your "team") starts to get wobbly too.
No matter how strong your mindset, or how optimistic
your outlook, if your nervous system is dysregulated, you will get stuck.
Some signs of dysregulatation are fatigue, hormonal
If nervous system regulation is completely new to you,
here's a starting point: the simple things have the greatest impact. Good sleep. Lots of whole foods. Regular, consistent movement. More physical touch. More play. Relationships that nourish.
If these ^ are the things you're trying to change, keep reading :)
@mindbodynina 2.
You're a human being,
not a to-do list.
You are a complex system made up of many more complex
systems. Think of yourself as an interconnected web, rather than a list of individual things that you should be or do. Humans aren't machines. We aren't perfectly predictable or linear, and we aren't broken objects waiting to be fixed.
A healthy and regulated human is one that shows
variability, adaptability, and resilience when exposed to stressors.
It's about having access to our inner
Regulation isn't about how many resources so we can flow in & out of the "right" things we can get done... various states that make us human.
@mindbodynina 3. Accessing your true self means learning a new language.
Or maybe I should say remembering an old, forgotten
language. We were all born fluent, but then culture & conditioning & trauma. oh my.
To make change that actually means something to you, you
have to crave & connect with an authentic version of yourself.
One of the reasons so many of us struggle with self regulation
is because we've lost touch with the language of the body.
Growing up, we might have learned to turn to authority for
answers while mistrusting our own inner guidance.
"Because the doctor said so."
"Because the teacher said so." "Because the church said so."
Fortunately, that inner guidance wasn't removed. The volume
just got turned down. To turn it back up, we have to tune into feelings and sensations in the body. Rather than taking emotions and impulses as inconveniences, we see them as companions trying to share a message.
@mindbodynina 4. Whatever you practice, practice it consistently.
Developing a consistent practice that challenges you is one of
the most powerful ways to see who you really are.
We live in a world where you can endlessly consume information
and apply very little of it, all while still convincing yourself that things are changing.
And they might be. But are you changing the things that really matter? Or is it just cute fluff to protect yourself from the hard work?
Real change comes with peaks, valleys, and plateaus. But today instant gratification is so accessible that the second we hit the valleys or plateaus, we give up and go find dopamine somewhere easier.
Those seemingly stagnant or low points are where opportunities
for change live. Get to know them.
Breath work. Running. Cooking. Lifting. Sewing. Vacuuming the
ceiling. Whatever you choose to do, let it be something that truly means something to you. Go at your own pace. Just keep going.
@mindbodynina 5. You can't make change if you don't show up.
Black and white thinking killed the cat.
Embracing the grey brought it back. (??? That's definitely not how the saying goes).
When you start something new, do you bail once you realize you can't do it exactly the way you thought you "should", waiting until the next time you "have the energy" or "have more time"?
We don't like to see ourselves for the imperfect people we are,
and we don't like to do things without reward. So if we can't commit to a full project, walk, workout, or hard conversation, we might not show up at all.
The mere act of showing up is evidence to your nervous system
that the action is relevant, necessary, and familiar, which makes it easier to choose in the future. This is essential for change on a nervous system level (where real change happens).
Don't make promises to yourself you can't keep. Find a place to
reasonably start. It's ok to start tiny. Just don't ditch yourself. You're counting on you.
@mindbodynina 6.
This isn't a dress rehearsal.
Real life already started.
Avoiding action is easy when we keep convincing
ourselves that "real" life starts in the future.
I love this quote by Alan Watts: "For unless one is able to
live fully in the present, the future is a hoax".
Deep change requires us to see who we are right now,
and to be with that version of us in all of its lightness and darkness.
If we keep believing that inner Then we never get to
freedom is here: experience it here:
@mindbodynina Where to start:
Are you tired of hearing the same basic answers to
everything like, "prioritize good sleep, eat mostly whole foods, and move your body more"?
I'm here to say the same. How can we achieve our higher goals if we can't meet our basic needs?
We often try to skip over the basics so we can get to the
"good" stuff, not realizing that learning how to consistently maintain the basics is 75% of the good stuff.
Take care of your quarterback (the nervous system), so that
the quarterback can carry the rest of your team.
Your "best" or "highest" self, or even half of that, is not
possible without honoring your most basic human needs FIRST.
It sounds simple, but are you doing it?
@mindbodynina
*I'm not a nutrition coach, but I am a social worker/counselor so if you need resources send me an email* Where to start:
Find your deepest "why" for change.
What's the purpose of propelling yourself into action if you
aren't sure why you're doing it? Here are a few questions:
Do I want this for me, or is it to please someone else?
Am I doing this for love or for fear?
How would it feel to get to the end of my life having never
fulfilled this goal?
If I don't make this change, my life will stay the same. What does it feel like to face that truth? (Side note: those uncomfortable emotions help fuel you. Don't suppress them.)
If I don't make this change, what impact does that have on the future of my most important relationships?
Is there something I'm waiting to happen before I can make
this change? Is it practical, or just my fear talking?
If I don't choose change now, when will I choose it?
It will be hard. Is my life worth making hard choices for?
@mindbodynina Where to start:
Use your answers to these questions as motivation to get
started. Write them out with pen and paper. Read it every day. Use it to help you BUILD YOUR CONSISTENCY. We don't want to dive head first with sparkly emotions and motivation, then ditch the plan 2 weeks later just because the feelings went away.
Emotions will get you started. Discipline will keep you
going. Purpose will remind you why you're going.
What goes up must come down. If you're excited, GOOD.
But don't bail as soon as the motivation isn't there. It comes and goes.
When you're heading in the right direction, you will
absolutely hit bumps in the road. They might look like limiting beliefs that tell you you aren't good enough, a core belief that you're unworthy of something better, or fear of the loss that comes with change (these are the most common ones I see with my clients).
Talk it out with friends, a therapist, coach, or your partner.
Lean on your support system. Don't isolate yourself or fall into a slumber of avoidance. Remember your "why". @mindbodynina More Stuff From Me If you have specific questions, the best ways to contact me are email and Instagram DMs.
