Be Aware of Fear in Your Life
Be Aware of Fear in Your Life
Be Aware of Fear in Your Life
2. Stare at fearless people. Fill your brain with images of what you want
your “future self” to look like. Connect with as many role models as you can,
whether in person, through a book, or online. Use these examples as an
energy source to combat your fear.
5. Adopt a mindset of gratitude. Whenever you feel fear, try to feel grateful
instead. I have been performing a lot of solos recently, and it is scary! Instead
of freaking out, I have decided to be grateful for the opportunity to
communicate musically with so many people, and I know that they are there to
genuinely listen to me play and root me on.
6. Seek out teachers. It’s never too late to have a teacher; we are never
done learning. Seek out someone who scares you a little—not a polite person
who always makes you feel warm and fuzzy. Seek out someone who
watches you closely, is brutally honest, and gives clear directions on how you
can get better at whatever scares you.
7. Share. How often do we hold the negative in because we are afraid of how
others might react? Sharing helps, because you will realize that many people
feel the same way as you do, and have stories to share as well. Do you have
a fear of success, or a fear of failure? Sharing with someone can help you
examine what you truly want from life, and where your fears come from.
8. Embrace struggle. Most of us instinctively avoid struggle, because it feels
like failure, and that scares us, but the term “no pain, no gain” holds true. To
develop our skills, it is a necessity that we struggle, so we must embrace it.
Once we struggle, fear slowly disintegrates.
2. Embrace change.
Embrace it even if change that appears negative. Change is
constant and is part of the evolution of life and the human
experience.
Don’t fight it. It will happen anyway, so follow it where it leads you.
What daily, weekly, and yearly actions and choices have led you
to this point? Then analyze which of those choices and actions
seem to hold you back the most or make you the most unhappy.
7. Practice creativity.
Before you act on your vision, you can practice creative change in
your work and personal life to learn to cope with the discomfort of
fear.
8. Shake up routines.
To become fearless, begin to shake up your most basic daily
routines to practice the discomfort of newness.
These values are the defining principles for your life, and if you
are out-of-alignment with them, you’ll never be happy and fulfilled.
If you don’t know your values, take a look at this list of 400 value
words to get some ideas.
10. Write a mission statement.
When you apply your values and vision to every decision of
your life, you have a road map that keeps you from veering off
in directions that don’t support who you really are or want to be.
Work toward your goal, using your values and mission statement
to guide you, but watch for signs to recalibrate.
Be sure it’s someone you trust and who understands the power of
boldness and learning to be fearless.
Practice being your authentic self by saying what you think and
embracing your truth.
You do need to consider the needs of your spouse and family, but
otherwise you must make your choices based on what is best for
you. You can’t sacrifice your vision at the alter of other people’s
demands.
And even if it is immediately very painful, the pain will subside and
you’ll eventually reap the benefits of the change or decision.
You don’t know unless you try. You can stay small and safe. Or
you can live an extraordinary life.
Look for people you trust to work with you on your bold
adventures and positive changes.
We are ALL worthy of the most exciting, thrilling life we can create
for ourselves. I guarantee that the slow and steady water torture
drip of the status quo demands more energy and suffering that
the sting of decisive and bold action.
Shout from the cliff, “I am worthy!!!” — and then take the leap with
arms outspread.
Save serious for the really big things and allow yourself to have
fun, to explore your vision, to make mistakes and learn from them,
to see the beauty in the moment.
You will have to feel fear, anxiety, and discomfort during that “in-
between” time before you reach the unknown shores of the other
side and find safety there.
A fearless life requires stretching your limits and pushing past the
status quo in thought and action. But every time you do, you push
yourself closer to the life you imagine — the one you can achieve.
1. Fear is often the symptom of a deeper underlying belief or issue. Identifying the
source of your discomfort makes it a lot easier to tackle the feeling in the moment.
Rational fears and irrational fears are dealt with in different ways, and how you go
about relieving your fear depends on where it’s coming from. When you feel afraid,
ask yourself, “Where is this feeling coming from?” Often, examining your fear itself
can be therapeutic and this may help on its own, but even if it doesn’t, at least you
can determine the best way to go forward.[1]
Your fear may be biological, meaning that you’re hardwired to be scared
right now. Examples here include a fear of snakes, or heights. These fears are
often logical, and it often helps to rationalize and cope with them.
Your fear may be based on a past experience. If you were attacked late at
night when you were young, you may be scared of the dark. These fears are
reasonable, but they aren’t rational, and it can be helpful to challenge these
thoughts and expose yourself to these fears.
A fear may also be based on uncertainty about the future. An example may
include a fear of failing a test you haven’t taken yet. It makes sense to be
scared of bad outcomes, but it can help to work through and combat these
fears.
2
Be objective with obviously irrational fears.
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If you know a fear isn’t logical, challenge it by facing reality. Sometimes, irrational
fears can simply dissipate when you take a step back to think about them in a new
way. Pretend that you’re watching yourself from a third-person perspective and take a
moment to think about whether it makes sense to be scared. Forcing your brain to shift
from an irrational fear to a reasonably sound perspective can help take the edge off.[2]
For example, if you have a fear of being robbed when you walk your dog at
night, you might look at the crime rate where you live and realize how
unlikely it is that you encounter a criminal, or start counting the number of
trips you take without running into danger.
If an irrational fear interferes with your daily life, you may have a phobia.
Phobias are extremely common, but one of the best ways to get over them is
to start challenging and fighting against them.[3]
3
Face your fears slowly over time.
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Exposure to your fears can help you get over them. For some objects of fear,
repeated exposure to your fear may help you build your confidence over time, which
can help you to not be scared. Start small, and just build your way up. As you get
increasingly comfortable with your fear, you’ll stop being so scared.[4]
For example, if you have a fear of public speaking, you might start by
watching videos of people speaking in public, and push yourself to share an
idea publicly at work the next day. Then, slowly work your way up to giving
toasts at weddings or gatherings. By increasing your exposure over time, you
may be able to conquer your fear entirely.
This is the foundation of a therapeutic practice known as exposure therapy.
This is one of the most scientifically-accepted ways to help treat mental
health issues that cause panic, anxiety, and fear.[5]
4
Practice mindfulness.
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It’s a lot easier to quell fears if you’re in tune with your emotions. Engaging in
some form of mindfulness every day will help you identify, label, and process the
emotions you experience. Things like meditation and deep-breathing exercises will help
you bridge that gap between your body and mind. By leaning into your emotions and
learning to label them as they come up, you’ll have a much easier time coping with,
ignoring, or working through the fear you experience.[6]
If you’ve never meditated before, there are apps and YouTube videos out
there you can use to engage in some guided meditation.
If you’re looking to be more fearless in your daily life, mindfulness is a great
way to get closer to your goal.
5
Be blindly optimistic.
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Finding the silver lining in every situation is hard, but helpful. If you get in the
habit of constantly looking for the upside whenever fear or doubt start to creep in,
you’ll regain some control over the way you feel. Nobody chooses to be scared—it
just happens—but you can make a choice to start actively looking for the upside! The
more positive you are, the less likely you’ll be to give in to those sudden pangs of
uncertainty.
For example, if you’re scared of heights and you’re out on a hiking trail
where you come across a ridge with a steep fall, you could focus on the
beautiful landscape, or the fresh air in your lungs.
If you’re scared of taking a test in class, you could remind yourself that
you’re learning a lot at school, or think about how fun it will be to hang out
with your friends after school is over.
6
Improve your confidence.
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The more ready you feel, the less uncertain you’ll be about the future. If you’re
scared about a potential outcome, put the work in ahead of time to get as prepared as
you possibly can be. This is the best way to fend off any anxiety you have about the
future. You can’t always control how you feel in the moment, but you can control
how much effort you put in leading up to that moment.[8]
If you’re scared of a job interview you have coming up, prepare ruthlessly by
researching the company, hosting some mock interviews, and scripting out
responses for common questions like, “Tell us about yourself.”
This even works with irrational fears and phobias. If you have a fear that the
world is going to end, you might put together an emergency kit together for
your home and vehicle. Even if you know in the back of your mind that
you’re probably never going to need that kit, the mere act of putting it
together may help ease the way you feel.
8
Try new things.
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The more comfortable you are with feeling uncomfortable, the better. Fear is
often a response to uncertainty, but like anything else, uncertainty gets easier to deal
with the more you practice. Try new foods, talk to strangers, and visit new places.
Once you see how freeing it can be to step outside of your comfort zone, you’ll have a
much easier time brushing off fears about the future.[9]
If you’ve been stuck in a routine lately, make an effort to deviate from that
routine at least once a day. Even if it’s something as simple as going
somewhere new for lunch, it’s going to be productive.
9
Stop treating failure as meaningless.
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