Be Aware of Fear in Your Life

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. Be aware of fear in your life.

Before you can begin overcoming fear, you


have to admit that you have it. Perhaps fear is your “normal” state of being,
and that is quite a bit to overcome all at once. Write down some aspects of
your life where have fear; getting them down on paper is important, because
trying to simply think them through never works.

2. Stare at fearless people. Fill your brain with images of what you want
your “future self” to look like. Connect with as many role models as you can,
whether in person, through a book, or online. Use these examples as an
energy source to combat your fear.

3. Be objective. Take an interest in investigating your fears. Ask yourself


about what thoughts generate your fear, where you feel the fear, and how you
react to it. Try to be an objective observer of your own life.

4. Be willing to look stupid. Remember: Wayne Gretzky fell on his tail a


ton, and Itzhak Perlman has had horrible performances. Once you are willing
to risk the emotional pain of making mistakes, you will shed more fear than
you ever imagined. Know that making mistakes will help you obtain
information you use to create the correct behaviors, and that everyone who
has ever done something great has failed more than once.

5. Adopt a mindset of gratitude. Whenever you feel fear, try to feel grateful
instead. I have been performing a lot of solos recently, and it is scary! Instead
of freaking out, I have decided to be grateful for the opportunity to
communicate musically with so many people, and I know that they are there to
genuinely listen to me play and root me on.

6. Seek out teachers. It’s never too late to have a teacher; we are never
done learning. Seek out someone who scares you a little—not a polite person
who always makes you feel warm and fuzzy. Seek out someone who
watches you closely, is brutally honest, and gives clear directions on how you
can get better at whatever scares you.

7. Share. How often do we hold the negative in because we are afraid of how
others might react? Sharing helps, because you will realize that many people
feel the same way as you do, and have stories to share as well. Do you have
a fear of success, or a fear of failure? Sharing with someone can help you
examine what you truly want from life, and where your fears come from.
8. Embrace struggle. Most of us instinctively avoid struggle, because it feels
like failure, and that scares us, but the term “no pain, no gain” holds true. To
develop our skills, it is a necessity that we struggle, so we must embrace it.
Once we struggle, fear slowly disintegrates.

9. Read. My personal favorite. Reading a good book related to your specific


fear can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. I constantly fill my world
with motivational and inspirational books on, and related to, the topic I’m
dealing with.

10. Use visualization. Imagine yourself in a scary situation without fear.


Watch people do things fearlessly that would normally freak you out.
Visualize yourself as that person. Create a very clear picture of fearlessness
in your mind.

11. Put things in perspective. Putting your negative thoughts in perspective


is a huge way to overcome fear. In the grand scheme of life, why are you
afraid? While you are freaking out about something, life is moving on without
you. Sometimes it’s helpful to remember this.

12. Release control. Of course we want to be in control, but when we


relinquish it we tend to free ourselves up. Allow yourself to make mistakes—
after all, that’s where learning and growth really happens. We learn from our
failures, but to fail we need to release control

1. Start by becoming aware. Notice when you


experience feelings of fear (you’d be surprised
how much of our time is spent unconsciously
experiencing fear, worries, and anxiety).
2. Next time you notice the fear inside you,
remind yourself that it’s all in your mind and
that 80% of fears never happen.
3. Ask yourself: What’s the worst thing that
can happen if I do this?
4. Write down a few ways to deal with the
worst case scenario. Often when we get our
thoughts out of our heads and down onto paper
the fear will disappear
5. Ask yourself: How is this fear impacting my
life? It’s important to realize what you’ve got to
lose by staying paralyzed by fear.
6. Take a deep breath and tackle your fear
head-on. You may be surprised to find that it
wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.
7. High five yourself for being fearless—you
could even reward yourself afterwards for all
your hard work.

If you’re wondering, “How can I be bold and fearless?” we’ve got


you covered. Read through the list below and consider how you
can apply the ideas to become a more fearless person.

1. Stay open to all possibilities.


Let go of outcomes. You may think you want to go right, but life
takes you left. So go with what life presents. Left might be more
fun anyway.
Don’t allow fear and discomfort to close doors of opportunity and
growth.

2. Embrace change.
Embrace it even if change that appears negative. Change is
constant and is part of the evolution of life and the human
experience.

Don’t fight it. It will happen anyway, so follow it where it leads you.

3. Assess your life.


Where in your life are you feeling flatlined or unhappy? In your
work, your relationships, your personal development, your
creativity?

Find the low-hanging fruit that is triggering your doldrums. If


there’s more than one area, choose the one that could foster
the most positive results or rewards if you make change.

4. Define and analyze.


Define exactly what you have been doing in this area — the
status quo behaviors you repeat day in and day out that have led
you to your feelings of unhappiness or boredom.

What daily, weekly, and yearly actions and choices have led you
to this point? Then analyze which of those choices and actions
seem to hold you back the most or make you the most unhappy.

5. Imagine your vision.


Begin to imagine a new vision for this area of your life. In a perfect
world, exactly how would you want this area to look. Get specific
with your vision.

 What would you be doing?


 Who would you be with?
 How would it look and feel?
 How would you be a different person with this new vision?
Write down as much as you can about your vision, even if some
of it is unclear. You might consider making a vision board. It can
help you clarify what you want in life and keep you motivated to
push past fear and work toward making your vision a reality.
6. Seek inspiration.
Look at books, blogs, magazines, movies or anything else that
can offer inspiration and advice on how other people have lived
out your vision. Look at a wide variety of resources in genres you
haven’t explored before.

For example, if you’re longing to live somewhere else, don’t


research cities similar to the one you live in now or on the same
side of the country.

Broaden your field of exploration to seek out completely new and


different ideas.

7. Practice creativity.
Before you act on your vision, you can practice creative change in
your work and personal life to learn to cope with the discomfort of
fear.

Before you launch in to a project, don’t proceed in the same old


fashion. Ask yourself, “How can I do this differently? What would
be a new approach?”
In your relationships, ask yourself, “How can I add fun and
creativity to my next interaction? How can I respond to this person
differently, in a happier and healthier way?”

8. Shake up routines.
To become fearless, begin to shake up your most basic daily
routines to practice the discomfort of newness.

Drive a different route to work. Change up the order of your


morning routine. Step outside in the middle of the day (if you don’t
already).

Break up boring habits and keep yourself slightly on the edge.

9. Define your values.


Whatever big changes you decide to make in your life, the result
needs to be aligned with your core values.

These values are the defining principles for your life, and if you
are out-of-alignment with them, you’ll never be happy and fulfilled.
If you don’t know your values, take a look at this list of 400 value
words to get some ideas.
10. Write a mission statement.
When you apply your values and vision to every decision of
your life, you have a road map that keeps you from veering off
in directions that don’t support who you really are or want to be.

Learn how to write a personal mission statement that gives you


clarity and helps you live fearlessly.

11. Make flexible plans.


Set goals for yourself and work toward them. But remember, you
are staying open to possibilities and embracing change.

Work toward your goal, using your values and mission statement
to guide you, but watch for signs to recalibrate.

12. Find a mentor.


Stepping out of your comfort zone is scary. Seek out a support
partner or mentor who has your back and can challenge you to
take the actions you need to take.

Be sure it’s someone you trust and who understands the power of
boldness and learning to be fearless.

13. Challenge yourself.


Find those areas in your life where you feel fear. It might be public
speaking or asking for a raise. Once you face these growth
demons, it will enhance your life in unexpected ways.
Where do you need to challenge yourself? Look those fears in the
eye, and accept a little discomfort so you can reap the great
rewards of stepping out of your comfort zone.

14. Begin to say what you think.


I’m not suggesting that you be rude, hurtful, or even intentionally
shocking. But often we hold back our opinions or beliefs for fear of
offending or not fitting in.

Practice being your authentic self by saying what you think and
embracing your truth.

15. Stop people pleasing.


Being fearless and following your own vision might mean making
others uncomfortable or unhappy.

You do need to consider the needs of your spouse and family, but
otherwise you must make your choices based on what is best for
you. You can’t sacrifice your vision at the alter of other people’s
demands.

16. Adjust your mindset.


Most of the time what we fear about change doesn’t come to
pass. Or if it does occur, it is far less painful than we imagined.

And even if it is immediately very painful, the pain will subside and
you’ll eventually reap the benefits of the change or decision.

There have been a few choices in my life that caused profound


initial pain, but they resulted in a better life in the end. It was worth
walking through fire to get there.
17. Think big.
Why not? Why not make the biggest plans, the boldest actions,
the most challenging decisions?

You don’t know unless you try. You can stay small and safe. Or
you can live an extraordinary life.

Remember, fear never conquered anything, but action can.

18. Find your tribe.


Seek out people who share a similar vision and world view —
fearless people who inspire you to take action.

Look for people you trust to work with you on your bold
adventures and positive changes.

Broaden your circle of partners so you have a tribe of people


working together for mutual benefit. This is broader than
networking. It’s working together to create a network of influence,
inspiration and action.

19. Seek professional support.


If there is something you really want, but fear is holding you back,
don’t go it alone. There are some fears that need deeper
unraveling.

I can’t imagine not being to fly in an airplane or socialize with


people, but these are very real fears for many people.

Whatever it is, don’t give up. Find a counselor or coach to help


you. You are in control, not your fears.

20. Take action daily.


Action is the greatest cure for fear. Decide what you want to
achieve, then start doing the work. Focus on the task at hand.
Then the next task, then the next.

Action is more powerful than great books, great blogs, great


motivational speakers, or great plans. Even when you are in a
slump or feel afraid, just do something.

21. Embrace your worthiness.


Beyond the fear of discomfort, one of the main reasons people
don’t make change is because they don’t feel worthy of an
amazing life.

We are ALL worthy of the most exciting, thrilling life we can create
for ourselves. I guarantee that the slow and steady water torture
drip of the status quo demands more energy and suffering that
the sting of decisive and bold action.

Shout from the cliff, “I am worthy!!!” — and then take the leap with
arms outspread.

22. Make fun a priority.


Most of us take life too seriously. We focus on our pains and
problems and the possibility of pains and problems in the future.
We dwell on the negative and obliterate the sunshine beaming on
us from all around.

Save serious for the really big things and allow yourself to have
fun, to explore your vision, to make mistakes and learn from them,
to see the beauty in the moment.

23. Make fearlessness your motto.


Put the word “fearless” in front of your name. In everything you
do, every choice you make, every part of your vision you act
upon, ask yourself, “Am I doing this boldly?”

Envision yourself as a fearless person, willing to act, to be


decisive, to take a chance, to be creative, to give it your best.

The mediocre, boring, uninspired, path of least resistance is no


longer for you. Shake up your life and be bold in all things.

I want to be fearless. Do you?


Are you ready to push past your insecurities, roadblocks, and
fears? If so, it takes commitment and action.

Every single big positive change in my life — the kind of change


that propelled me to the next level of growth and upgraded my
life significantly — has come at a cost. The cost was my sense
of comfort and security for a period of time.

Everything I’ve accomplished personally and professionally was


prefaced by a decision or series of decisions that required being
fearless.

You will have to feel fear, anxiety, and discomfort during that “in-
between” time before you reach the unknown shores of the other
side and find safety there.

A fearless life requires stretching your limits and pushing past the
status quo in thought and action. But every time you do, you push
yourself closer to the life you imagine — the one you can achieve.

1. Fear is often the symptom of a deeper underlying belief or issue. Identifying the
source of your discomfort makes it a lot easier to tackle the feeling in the moment.
Rational fears and irrational fears are dealt with in different ways, and how you go
about relieving your fear depends on where it’s coming from. When you feel afraid,
ask yourself, “Where is this feeling coming from?” Often, examining your fear itself
can be therapeutic and this may help on its own, but even if it doesn’t, at least you
can determine the best way to go forward.[1]
 Your fear may be biological, meaning that you’re hardwired to be scared
right now. Examples here include a fear of snakes, or heights. These fears are
often logical, and it often helps to rationalize and cope with them.
 Your fear may be based on a past experience. If you were attacked late at
night when you were young, you may be scared of the dark. These fears are
reasonable, but they aren’t rational, and it can be helpful to challenge these
thoughts and expose yourself to these fears.
 A fear may also be based on uncertainty about the future. An example may
include a fear of failing a test you haven’t taken yet. It makes sense to be
scared of bad outcomes, but it can help to work through and combat these
fears.
2
Be objective with obviously irrational fears.
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If you know a fear isn’t logical, challenge it by facing reality. Sometimes, irrational
fears can simply dissipate when you take a step back to think about them in a new
way. Pretend that you’re watching yourself from a third-person perspective and take a
moment to think about whether it makes sense to be scared. Forcing your brain to shift
from an irrational fear to a reasonably sound perspective can help take the edge off.[2]
 For example, if you have a fear of being robbed when you walk your dog at
night, you might look at the crime rate where you live and realize how
unlikely it is that you encounter a criminal, or start counting the number of
trips you take without running into danger.
 If an irrational fear interferes with your daily life, you may have a phobia.
Phobias are extremely common, but one of the best ways to get over them is
to start challenging and fighting against them.[3]
3
Face your fears slowly over time.
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Exposure to your fears can help you get over them. For some objects of fear,
repeated exposure to your fear may help you build your confidence over time, which
can help you to not be scared. Start small, and just build your way up. As you get
increasingly comfortable with your fear, you’ll stop being so scared.[4]
 For example, if you have a fear of public speaking, you might start by
watching videos of people speaking in public, and push yourself to share an
idea publicly at work the next day. Then, slowly work your way up to giving
toasts at weddings or gatherings. By increasing your exposure over time, you
may be able to conquer your fear entirely.
 This is the foundation of a therapeutic practice known as exposure therapy.
This is one of the most scientifically-accepted ways to help treat mental
health issues that cause panic, anxiety, and fear.[5]
4
Practice mindfulness.
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It’s a lot easier to quell fears if you’re in tune with your emotions. Engaging in
some form of mindfulness every day will help you identify, label, and process the
emotions you experience. Things like meditation and deep-breathing exercises will help
you bridge that gap between your body and mind. By leaning into your emotions and
learning to label them as they come up, you’ll have a much easier time coping with,
ignoring, or working through the fear you experience.[6]
 If you’ve never meditated before, there are apps and YouTube videos out
there you can use to engage in some guided meditation.
 If you’re looking to be more fearless in your daily life, mindfulness is a great
way to get closer to your goal.
5
Be blindly optimistic.
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Finding the silver lining in every situation is hard, but helpful. If you get in the
habit of constantly looking for the upside whenever fear or doubt start to creep in,
you’ll regain some control over the way you feel. Nobody chooses to be scared—it
just happens—but you can make a choice to start actively looking for the upside! The
more positive you are, the less likely you’ll be to give in to those sudden pangs of
uncertainty.
 For example, if you’re scared of heights and you’re out on a hiking trail
where you come across a ridge with a steep fall, you could focus on the
beautiful landscape, or the fresh air in your lungs.
 If you’re scared of taking a test in class, you could remind yourself that
you’re learning a lot at school, or think about how fun it will be to hang out
with your friends after school is over.
6
Improve your confidence.
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It’s hard to be scared if you’re super confident in yourself. If you’re confident in


yourself, you’ll have a much easier time facing your fears, since you’ll have faith in
your ability to work through them. If you experience mild fear on a daily basis, start
building your confidence up. Do things that you’re good at, practice the things you
aren’t particularly good at, and maintain a positive outlook by improving every day.[7]
 For example, if you’re scared to ask for a promotion. Read guides about
negotiation, and watch motivational videos about working up the courage to
ask for what you want. The more confident you feel, the less likely it will be
that the fear wins out when it comes time for your performance review.
 Sometimes it can help to “fake it until you make it.” This is where you
simply pretend you’re really confident, even if you aren’t! Eventually, if you
keep acting confident, you’ll actually become confident.
7
Overprepare to minimize anticipatory fear.
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The more ready you feel, the less uncertain you’ll be about the future. If you’re
scared about a potential outcome, put the work in ahead of time to get as prepared as
you possibly can be. This is the best way to fend off any anxiety you have about the
future. You can’t always control how you feel in the moment, but you can control
how much effort you put in leading up to that moment.[8]
 If you’re scared of a job interview you have coming up, prepare ruthlessly by
researching the company, hosting some mock interviews, and scripting out
responses for common questions like, “Tell us about yourself.”
 This even works with irrational fears and phobias. If you have a fear that the
world is going to end, you might put together an emergency kit together for
your home and vehicle. Even if you know in the back of your mind that
you’re probably never going to need that kit, the mere act of putting it
together may help ease the way you feel.
8
Try new things.
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The more comfortable you are with feeling uncomfortable, the better. Fear is
often a response to uncertainty, but like anything else, uncertainty gets easier to deal
with the more you practice. Try new foods, talk to strangers, and visit new places.
Once you see how freeing it can be to step outside of your comfort zone, you’ll have a
much easier time brushing off fears about the future.[9]
 If you’ve been stuck in a routine lately, make an effort to deviate from that
routine at least once a day. Even if it’s something as simple as going
somewhere new for lunch, it’s going to be productive.
9
Stop treating failure as meaningless.
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Another way to minimize the impact of fear is to recontextualize failure. A lot of


people are so scared of failure that they’re paralyzed by fear. If you can stop looking
at failure as something to be avoided at all costs, you’re going to be a lot more
comfortable. Think of all of the times you’ve learned something from things not
working out, and start looking at future failures as learning opportunities to quell this
kind of fear.[10]
 Let’s say you don’t land a new client at work. Ask yourself, “Why didn’t I
land this client?” and, “What could I have done differently?” If you treat
every setback as an opportunity for growth, any fear you experience won’t
feel so unproductive.
10
Recognize productive fear.
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Sometimes, fear is helpful when it comes to recognizing danger. Fear is important


sometimes, and while it’s unpleasant, there are times when you should listen to that
nagging voice in the back of your head. If you’re about to do something dangerous,
reckless, or potentially risky, that fear may be telling you to reconsider. In these
instances, fear is something to respect and listen to, so don’t ignore it![11]
 For example, if you’re in an argument or disagreement where tempers are
high, your fear may be telling to calm people down or walk away.
 If someone is hitting on you at a party and they’re just kind of giving off the
“wrong vibes,” that little fear in the back of your mind may be telling you to
stay way.
 Some forms of fear are even fun. Think about something like a roller coaster,
or a horror movie! The point here is that fear in and of itself is not a
necessarily bad thing.

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