12

PERSONAL
DEVELOPMENT
LAS 1, Week 1 - Quarter 2

Teen-age Relationships
Including the Acceptable
and Unacceptable Expressions
of Attractions
 Most Essential Learning Competencies

The learner shall be able to:

1. discuss an understanding of teenage relationships, including
the acceptable and unacceptable expressions of attractions;
EsP-PD11/12PR-IIa-9.1
2. expressnhis/her ways of showing attraction. Love, and
commitment; and
EsP-PD11/12PR-IIa-9.2
3. identify ways to become responsible in a relationship;
EsP-PD11/12PR-IIb-9.3

Learning Notes

Lesson Understanding Personal Relationships

1

Relationship
It is said that every kind of relationship is a two-way traffic which means
that all parties should learn how to give and take. There are different forms
of relationships and each of us has a clear description for each of these forms.
We certainly have our own ways of creating and improving these
relationships.
Let us try to define each one of them.
In this lesson, you will be able to understand what personal relationship
really is. Personal relationship is practically the kind of relationship that we
have with our families, friends, and partners in life. This definition also
applies to our relationship with those people who are significant to us.
Affection is one of human beings' greatest emotions. There is a lot of
passion, but more are conveyed in an intimate partnership with a compatible
partner. Romantic attachments are one of the most important aspects of life
for these people, and a source of tremendous fulfilment. However, the will to
create a human link seems innate, which develops our ability to build a

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healthy and loving relationship. Some suggest that early childhood begins to
develop the capacity to create a healthy relationship with a nanny who
regularly satisfies the child's food, treatment, comfort, protection,
stimulation, and social interaction needs. Such partnerships are not
destinies but are hypothesized to establish deeply embedded relationship
patterns with others. The end of a relationship is however also a source of
significant mental trauma.

WHAT IS PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP?

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP- is a form of relationship closely linked to a

person and which can only be important to that person.

KINDS OF PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

❖ PRIVACY and INTIMACY- are two attributes describing personal

relationships and level of commitment to another person/s

❖ IMPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP- commitment to an organization like a

business entity, a principle or purpose.

❖ ATTRACTION- it is a force that unites people and can grow into an

attachment which eventually leads to commitment.

Everybody knows when they go into a room packed with friendly faces,
and while they seem open and able to speak, there is only one face standing
out from the crowd. There may be a lot of people in the room who are
physically attractive, but you do not seem to keep your eyes away from one
person.

Here are some of the attractions you need to remember:

1. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION IS BASED ON INSTINCT

Most people would claim that they are attracted to someone after a few
seconds of their first encounter. April Masini, who also gives ABC
Entertainment News relation advice, wrote books like Date Out of Your
League, suggests that females are naturally attracted to men who exude
affection and passion and seem to live a fascinating life. Heterosexuals tend
to be attracted to men with traditionally masculine features including muscle
body, square jaw, straight nose, and narrow eyes, physically or emotionally.
These physical properties often include higher testosterone levels, common
among "alpha males." Alpha males display a particular personality trait,
including directness, determination, and power.

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2. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION DOES NOT NECESSARILY LEAD TO A GOOD
RELATIONSHIP
The first physical attraction is a very poor indicator, according to Dr.
Margaret Paul, an expert in relationship who has a Ph.D. in psychology,
about how well a relationship performs that can lead to a feeling about
abandonment.

3. PLATONIC ATTRACTION IS IMPORTANT

You also consider how trustworthy he or she seems to be and how loving
he or she is, in addition to how physically attractive your future partner is. Is
he calling, for instance, when he says he's going? Does she answer the phone
if you call her? Is he going to find little things and compliments? When you
talk about movies or sports you like, does she even listen to you? The building
block of deep emotional links are also common interests.
Having a common family history may also be helpful. Aaron Ben-Ze'ev,
a professor of philosophy and author of The Subtlety of Emotion, suggests that
your relationship may benefit from physical proximity, living close to your
interest in love. Believe it or not, it seems that simply living in the same city
or neighborhood makes people experience more platonic attractions with
each other.

4. THE UNATTAINABLE IS ATTRACTIVE

We just want something that cannot be achieved. According to Helen
Fisher, Ph.D., Professor at the Rutgers Department of Anthropology and Chief
Scientific Advisor to the Chemistry online dating service, it will still be
attractive to someone we consider "out-of-the-league" because they are ideal.
To force ourselves to strengthen both our body appearance and our social
status, we could be producing these frustrating crushes. At the same time,
loving yourself and being patient is the most important thing, because it is
impossible to genuinely love someone else without loving yourself first.

ATTRACTION
Proximity and similarity contribute to relationship-building, and
reciprocity and self-disclosure are critical for sustaining relationships. Yet,
what characteristics do we find attractive about a person? We don't shape
relationships with someone who lives or works in our vicinity, so how do we
determine which individuals we want as friends and partners? Researchers
have documented several characteristics which are attractive to humans.
People differ in what they consider attractive, and cultural influences on
attractiveness. Nevertheless, research indicates that some commonly
attractive characteristics in women include wide eyes, high cheekbones, a

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thin jaw line, a slim build (Buss 1989), and a lower waist-to-hip ratio (Singh
1993).
Likewise, attractive features of men include being tall, having broad
shoulders, and a small waist (Buss 1989). Both men and women with high
levels of facial and body symmetry are commonly seen as more attractive than
asymmetric individuals (Fink, Neave, Manning and Grammer 2006; Penton-
Voak et al. 2001; Rikowski and Grammer 1999).
In future female partners, social characteristics that people consider
attractive include comfort, empathy, and social skills; in males, the desirable
characteristics include competence, leadership abilities, and work skills
(Regan and Berscheid 1997).
While humans want physically attractive mates, this doesn't mean we
are looking for the most attractive person possible. In fact, this observation
has led some to propose what is known as the matching hypothesis that
asserts that people tend to choose someone they see as their equal in physical
attractiveness and social desirability (Taylor et. al. 2011).
People weigh the attractiveness of a potential partner against the
probability of succeeding with that individual. If you believe you are
particularly unattractive (even if you are not), you would probably be looking
for partners that are fairly unattractive (i.e. unattractive in physical
appearance or behaviour).
Typically, we love the people we make relationships with, but the sort of
love we have for our families, friends, and lovers is special. Robert Sternberg
(1986) suggested that love has three components: affection, passion, and
dedication. These three components form a triangle that distinguishes many
forms of love: this is known as the triangular love theory by Sternberg.
Love is sometimes characterized by intimacy which is the sharing of
details and emotions and intimate thoughts.
Sternberg (1986) states that a healthy relationship will have all three
components of love – intimacy, passion, and commitment – which are
described as consummate love. At different stages of life, however, different
aspects of love may prevail more. Other types of love involve affection,
described as intimacy, but not passion or commitment. Infatuation is love
without engagement or intimacy. Empty love means engagement without
passion or intimacy. Companionate love, characteristic of close friendships
and family relationships, is affection and loyalty but there is no passion.
Passion and affection describe romantic love, but no engagement. Lastly,
fatuous love is characterized by passion and devotion but no intimacy, such
as a long-term sexual love affair.

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 Understanding the Acceptable and Unacceptable Means of Expressing
Attractions Toward the Opposite Sex
You have understood well the essential traits of a good relationship. This
time, allow yourself to open your mind to see the difference between
acceptable and unacceptable means of expressing attractions towards the
opposite sex. In this way, you will also have a chance to unlearn the bad
practices that you have in showing how attracted you are to someone.
Filipino society has set standards for terribly unacceptable way to
demonstrate someone's attractions against those who are practically
acceptable. Perhaps you are asking why it is important to understand and
realize these things.
Filipino culture is bound to believe that a decent display of someone's
feeling is also a must to be accepted by society. It is a major disappointment
that anyone who fails to follow this standard will be classified as poorly
educated by society or the community, or how one’s parents failed at
parenting.
Because of the Filipinos’ culture of decency, the Republic of the
Philippines seriously believed that the issues of people's means of expressing
attractions to the opposite sex or gender can be legally addressed. The
Republic Act (RA) 11313, otherwise known as the Safe Space Act,
intentionally prohibits indecent and unlawful acts of expression. This RA
broadens the scope of the RA 7877 or the Anti-Harassment Act of 1995. This
law recognizes that sexual harassment occurs in the workplace, education,
and training environments, and penalizes persons who have authority,
influence, and moral status in those institutions who commit prohibited acts
of sexual harassment. While the Safe Space Act addresses these gaps in our
legal framework by recognizing that sexual harassment can be committed
between peers. A good example of this is: a subordinate to a superior, a
student to a teacher, or a trainee to a trainer.

What Makes a Healthy and Acceptable Expression of Attractions?

As you are happy to see and spend time with your partner, you know
that you are in a stable relationship. No partnership is ever perfect, and when
basic conflicts arise, causing tension with others, you will certainly feel that
the relationship is unstable for a moment. There are many factors that lead
to the growth and maintenance of healthy and acceptable relationships,
including:

1. Mutual respect. Will he or she get to know how smart and why you are?
Will your partner listen to you when you say you are not happy doing
something and then instantly back off? Respect in a partnership means that
each partner trusts and respects the weaknesses of each other and will never
question them.

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2. Trust. You talk to a classmate, and your partner wanders about. Is he
going to lose his cool, or is he going to keep walking, because he knows you
are never going to cheat on him? Often, it's normal to get a little jealous;
jealousy is a common feeling. But how a person reacts when he feels jealous
is what matters. Though you trust each other, there is no guarantee that you
will have a healthy relationship.

3. Honesty. This one goes hand-in - hand with confidence, because when
one of you is not honest, it is difficult to trust another. Have you ever caught
your partner in a total lie? Like when she told you that she / he was occupied
with homework, but it turned out that she / he was talking to friends? You're
going to have a lot of difficulty believing the next time she / he says she / he
must work, and the trust will be on dangerous foundations.

4. Support. It is not only in difficult times that you should be supported by

your partner. Usually, when the whole world is falling apart, we thought that
this is the only time we need support from others. Even in your best, you still
need support and when time gets tough, your significant other should still be
there. For instance, your partner should be there when you find out that your
parents are breaking apart and he/she should also rejoice with you when you
get a great score.

5. Fairness/Equality. You need to have a give and a take in your

relationship. Do you take turns deciding what kind of food to eat? Are you
going out with your friends as a partner as much as you stay out with your
friends? If it is not a fair balance, you will know. When a relationship
transforms into a power struggle, with one party trying to get his or her way
all the time, changes get fast.

6. Separate identities. In a stable relationship, everybody must make

compromises. But that does not mean you should have the feeling that you
are losing yourself. You both had your own lives when you started out
(families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc.) and that should not change. You
should not pretend to like something that you do not like, or give up seeing
your mates, or give up something that you love. And you should also feel free
to build new abilities or interests, make new friends, and move forward.

7. Good Communication. Are you going to speak to each other and share
the feelings that matter to you? Don't keep your emotions locked up because
you are afraid your partner does not even need to hear about it. And if you
need some time to think about something before you are ready to talk about
it, you will be provided some space by the right person to do that.

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 10 Things That Are Unacceptable in Any Relationship
Every relationship has its ups and downs, and we all must compromise
a little to make them work. But if your partner consistently does the following,
it might be time to think twice.

1. Cheating
If you are in a committed, monogamous relationship, cheating should
be out of the question. Many people will say infidelity is a deal-breaker.
However, others will decide to stay with their partners after an affair, and,
under the right circumstances, it is possible to heal the relationship. If you
do decide to maintain the relationship, your partner says they will never cheat
again, and they do, it’s likely that they will continue to break your trust.

2. Putting you down

No one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself. Whether
blatant or subtle, if your partner criticizes your looks, your hair, your laugh,
your intelligence, or anything, they’re not worth your time.

3. Not supporting your dreams

In a relationship, you should be each other’s cheerleaders. When you
feel discouraged, they should tell you all the things you’re doing right. If you
feel like running out of options, they should ask what he can do to help you
reach your goals.

4. Controlling
You should have a life outside of your relationship, away from your
partner. It is not their place to tell you who you can see, when you can see
them, what to eat, or how to dress. This controlling behavior can be a warning
sign of physical abuse and should be taken seriously.

5. Lack of communication
You will never be able to grow together if you don’t discuss your wants
and needs. You both need to feel comfortable openly expressing your feelings,
good and bad, otherwise you might begin to resent each other.

6. Unnecessary sacrifices
Compromise is a must in a relationship, but if you feel like you’re giving
up everything, while your significant other is sacrificing nothing, something’s
not right. Have you heard someone say they got rid of their pet because their
fiancé didn’t like cats? Or quit their job, left their family, and moved to other
places for someone who wouldn’t do the same for them? These should serve
as your red flags or warning signs that there is something wrong in how your
significant other treats you.

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7. Unreliability
When your cellphone is not working, you need advice, or you’ve just had
a bad day and need a hug, do they come to your aid? If they’re not there for
you when you need them the most, think twice: why are you with them?

8. Forgetting the memorable day

There’s a stereotype that men always forget anniversaries and
birthdays. Whether that’s true or not, it’s not okay. It’s normal for something
to slip our minds, but your man (or woman) should remember those little
things that are important to you.

9. Self-destruction
Sometimes we fall for people who are in rough situations. Though it can
be difficult, it’s important to be there for your loved ones during these times
and encourage them to seek help if necessary. However, if they are engaging
in destructive behavior that is negatively affecting you, and they refuse to
seek help, you might want to consider leaving. There is only so much you can
do, and it is not your fault that they are not willing to help themselves.

10. Not caring about friends and family

When you want to build a life with someone, you must accept every part
of them, including the people they care about. Your partner not trying to get
to know your loved ones can cause a major strain on your relationship.

Lesson Expressing Attraction, Love and Commitment

2

Making time for one another is vital to keep the relationship healthy and
the process of give and take are great ways to sustain a relationship (Miller,
2008).
Relationship needs to be dealt with mindful and careful consideration.
Keeping a good relationship with people will help you grow in some ways. You
will learn how people express feelings and emotions by reflecting on ways we
do to express attraction, love, and commitment.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone
deeply gives you courage. —Lao Tzu
Having and building relationship with others is natural, yet sometimes,
it could be challenging and confusing.
As you go along this activity sheets, you will learn that there are
elements hidden behind the idea of being in a relationship with others, how
it starts, and how it grows. By discussing and defining some important

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concepts, you will be able to gain ideas on important these factors are to
personal relationship.

Attraction
The Merriam-Webster dictionary, collegiately defined attraction as: the
action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or
something; and a quality or feature that evokes interest, liking, or desire.
Having this definition, it could be said that attraction is a positive
connection between two or more people that share something in common,
like interests, likes/dislikes, or desires. Some qualities may catch your
attention, and which could spark a certain kind of relationship.
When you have a positive attitude or evaluation regarding a particular
person in relation to different components, that is interpersonal attraction.
For many, interpersonal attraction relates only between two people having an
intimate and romantic relationship. However, it is not only limited to such
since it may also transpire between friends, colleagues, family members, and
others.
There are a lot of key components of attraction that may be the reason
for someone liking others. Some of those are:

Physical Attractiveness
Attractive people draw out a more positive first impression. Initially,
people tend to be influenced by what they see. Even the younger ones prefer
to look at faces that adults consider attractive rather than at opposite ones
(Langlois, et.al. 1991). Our perception of beauty, though, differs from one
another since it can be influenced by culture, educational background, social
status, etc. Everyone has his/her idea of what or who is attractive based on
physical appearance.
Facial features like the shape and color of the eyes, the nose, the lips,
and even the cheekbones and jaw have an impact when talking with another
person or people; the built of the body, the color of the hair, the complexion,
the smoothness of the skin, and the smile also may be considered with impact
as these are the first things available elements presented even without
interaction. It could also be added that certain similarities in facial and bodily
symmetry or resemblance with anyone they knew, with someone they like, or
with a person they used to talk with, could also be determinants of liking
another person or people.

Similarity
When you are tasked by your teacher to select a partner for an activity,
who do you usually choose? Why? The common answer might be a friend who
used to be with you, perhaps, because there is a connection between the two
of you that you do not have with others. We can say that you are “on the

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same wavelength” that is why you find it easy to get along with him/her
because you share the same interests and opinions.
Much research supports that similarity causes attraction. Oftentimes,
people classify other people based on information they already knew about
them. That is social categorization, wherein, people mentally group others on
where they belong and that with the same characteristics with them, like
group age, religion, personality, attitude, social status, or education. Thus,
this social categorization has a negative effect. When people rely too much on
that mentality, it results to stereotyping, where someone is being judged by
others only because they were part of a specific group they knew and not
based on who he/she is.

Proximity
One of the important aspects of any relationship is distance. Proximity
pertains to physical distance with other people, and it is related to functional
distance (how often people interact or communicate with each other). The
more you encounter or interact with the person, the more you allow yourself
to get to know him/her better which leads to a better relationship like
friendship or intimate relationship. Most likely, the people always near you
just like your classmate or neighbor has a big tendency to become your friend.

Reciprocity
We tend to get along with people or with someone whom we have the
same feelings toward. It is called reciprocity. It is when feelings with someone
are being reciprocated or returned in the same way as you do. According to
Brannan and Mohr, authors of one of the modules of in the book of Together:
The Science of Social Psychology, “Another way to think of it is that
relationships are built on a give and take; if one side is not reciprocating,
then the relationship is doomed”. These may happen in any relationship, with
friends, classmates, family members, or romantic partners.
The attraction is something that may happen in different ways, with
different people, and in different circumstances, and may lead to a much
deeper connection or relation with others.

Love
It appears that the word Love has many meanings. Some definitions in
the Meriam-Webster dictionary are:
1. (a) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties;
(b) attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by
lovers;
(c) affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests.

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2. An assurance of affection
Any discussion about love piques the curiosity and interest of young
adults your age. It may differ depending on one’s experience and knowledge
of love, though. Sometimes, it may affect the emotional and psychological
being of a person, thus influencing his/her emotion toward another. This
emotional bond depends on the presence or absence of support from others.
According to Sue Carter and Stephen Porges, “love is one of the important
components of a complex neurochemical system that allows the body to adapt
to highly emotional situations”. Some elements are responsibles for the deep
and strong bonds of a person with others that resulted to love.
One of the accountable chemicals for the connection of two individuals
like between mother and child inside her womb and even after giving birth is
Oxytocin (Keverne, 2006). It is a peptide also known as the love hormone, a
female reproduction hormone, which helps to deepen the connection between
mother and child through breastfeeding. It is transmitted to the brain tissue
of the child that allows and creates a strong bond between them. This is the
reason why it is considered as the first form of love. Together with Oxytocin,
Endorphin, Serotonin, and Dopamine are so-called “feel good” chemicals that
promote strong connections/bonds between people since it releases during
happy moments.
Another element that promotes love is Vasopressin. It is also a peptide
that conveys the behavior of an individual’s social engagement (Kenkel et al,
2012). One of its roles is to produce a behavior of developing stable, loving,
and long-term relationship with others.
The studies of Cohen 2007; Fisher et. al, 2009 explained that the
serotonin production of newly-in-love individuals increases up to 40% just
like with the brain of a drug addict. And, when a person experiences
heartbreak, the brain processes just like an addict quitting a heroin habit.
In the book of Principles of Social Psychology – 1st International Edition
by Dr. Charles Strangor, he explained Robert Sternberg’s proposed
Triangular Model of Love. It says that there are seven (7) different types of
Love and each type consists of the combinations of variables (Cognitive,
Physiological and Affective variables) that are specified in Three (3) different
components/factors: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. (see figure 1)
Intimacy is consisting of affective variables such as closeness, caring,
and emotional support; Passion is consisting of physiological and affective
variables like physical attraction, emotional responses that promote
physiological changes, and sexual arousal; and Commitment is a cognitive
process and decision to dedicate love to another individual with the
willingness to keep the relationship lasts (Brannan, D. & Mohr, C. D., 2020).

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 Since love has its different types, we could say that it may happen any
time, to any individual, at a different level with people around us like friends,
classmates, neighbors, family members, etc. The quality of a relationship is
how both partners relate to each other. There are different ways in showing
love with our loved ones or partners and are emphasized in Three (3)
attachment styles we display when we interact with our parents, our friends,
and our romantic partners (Eastwick & Finkel, 2008).
Secure Attachment Style – a healthy style wherein the children used to
receive care and easily communicate with the parents since they feel that
they are always available to listen and keep them safe. Anxious/ambivalent
Attachment Style - when children are lacking or seeking more affection from
parents because they are too dependent on them. Avoidant Attachment Style
– it is when children are distant to the parent/s, sometimes due to unpleasant
experiences. These attachment styles have a big effect or impact on how an
individual perceived and expresses behavior with or towards others.
Commitment
You already have an idea of what attraction is, how it happens, and how
it grows, also the types of love and how each type related and comprised with.
Now, let us have the commitment and how this thing may happen and how
it will last.
It is a long-term relationship between individuals. A more complex
relationship that resulted to increasingly turn to each other not only for social

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support but also for help in coordinating activities, remembering dates and
appointments, and accomplishing tasks (Wegner, Erber, & Raymond, 1991).
Many people say that for you to be able to have a successful relationship, you
should know your similarities and differences; understand your partner’s
needs and desires; and invest time and effort to work things out and last for
a lifetime.
Dr. Rajiv Jhangiani and Dr. Hammond Tarry reiterated the Slotter et al.,
2011 that “commitment refers to the feelings and action that keep partners
working together to maintain the relationship”. Any relationship will last
through the cooperation of both parties, without this, the relationship will
not last and ends with breaking up.
Commitment is a choice, a long and not an easy process that needs to
be participated by you and your partner.
Various people have a certain impact in different aspects of your life. It
may be different in level and differ from who or how that person relates to our
life.
Expressing our attraction, love, and commitment to a specific person is
different on how we express it with a different set of people. A good example
of this is how you might be open in expressing your admiration with your
romantic partner yet be discreet or reserved in saying or expressing your
feeling with your family members. This difference may be interpreted
differently by others, as well. For whatever reasons, even non-verbally,
expressing our love to our support system (people dear to us) is important
and we should continuously communicate with them and never fail to
express that we are grateful with them being in our side.
Below are some collected ideas on how to exercise expressing affections
and developed into a commitment for any kinds of relationship. These may
serve as tips on how to keep healthy relationships with others.
Stay happy. Happiness gives you the feeling of satisfaction for both abstract
and concrete things.
Be empathic. Empathizing with another is acting with greater cooperation
and overall altruism—the desire to help, even at a potential cost to the self.
Keep open communication. It provides an opportunity to size up the
trustworthiness of a person by verbally committing to cooperate with another.
Always trust. Working with others toward a common goal requires a level of
faith that others will repay our hard work and generosity. Supporting their
interests is also showing your trust.
Show respect. People are likely to give respect to others by being polite,
honest, and by showing kindness all the time.

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Be a helping hand. In times of trouble (e.g. mentally/ emotionally), make
him/her feel that he/she always has you on his/her side.

Lesson Identify ways to become responsible in a relationship

3

People seek love, concern, compassion, sympathy of other people

essential for them to overcome challenges in life and to have sense of
belongingness. People also find it awesome when they show the same feelings
they receive from others. Having someone to share your life success and/or
agonies in life with may add joy or give relief to one’s life like friends do.
However, it may also bring people to a difficult situation. Thus, learning the
art of committing oneself to other people is as essential as learning to know
oneself.
This lesson aims to help you understand the essential ways of becoming
responsible and its importance in developing positive relationships.

Importance of Relationship
You have learned the three different kinds of relationships Family,
Friends and Partnerships. This time you will focus on making yourself a
better person in any and every relationship you have.
Valuing the feelings of our family, friends, and partner or significant
other can only be evident if we open our eyes to realize the importance of that
relationship. Now, the question lies with ‘How do we see the importance of
relationships?’
The significance of any relationship can never be realized if we cannot
see the beauty that it brings in our lives. The moment we realize how
relationships shape us as a person is the moment that we realize the
importance of relationships in our interactions and behavior.
Some of the importance of relationships are:
1. Lead us to make healthy relationships. All kinds of relationships can
give you the opportunities to establish a stronger relationship with your
shared experiences and feelings with your loved ones.
2. Help us see our potential. People who love you will always see the
wonderful things in you. Through this loving and supportive atmosphere,
you little by little grow as a person, seeing your worth with your capabilities
and unique gift and talent.
3. Boost our confidence. It makes you feel you’re the luckiest person in the
world whenever someone trusts you sufficiently enough. It makes your
spirit enthusiastic and gives you the delightful feeling of self-assurance.

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4. Give you a sense of direction. The idea and feeling of sense of
belongingness is such a great source of direction. If you care to give
yourself the reward of having a good life and reputation, you will absolutely
do more for the people you dearly love.
5. Clear our life goals and aspirations. Relationships will help you focus on
one goal and concentrate in achieving it because as the sun sets you know
you have someone whom you can pleasingly offer and share the blissful
feeling of a victorious life with.
6. Build a beautiful person within you. Having all the positive attitudes
towards life and oneself can really create a good aura. Portraying good
personalities can even make you appear and feel young and lovely.

Now that you are aware of the good things you get out from being in a
relationship, this time get yourself hooked with our discussion on how you
can push yourself to be responsible in your own relationships with your loved
ones.

Becoming Responsible in a Relationship

A sense of responsibility in taking care of your personal relationship can
only be established when you realize the boundaries and limitations of your
role and influence in the relationships.

6 Major Elements of Becoming Responsible in a Relationship

1. Mutual Respect
Lack of respect absolutely brings people to an unpleasant environment
and pushes people from respecting one another and themselves, too.
Establishing mutual respect is easier when one is guided by the virtue of the
Golden Rule once uttered by Jesus of Nazareth explicitly stated in Matthew
7:12 which has direct English Translation “Do unto others what you would
want others to do unto you.” This may be simply interpreted by the famous
line “Respect begets respect”.
This line means a person shall not trespass in his rights or put someone
down when he/she is wrong. We certainly know how well we should respect
people but whenever we are in a relationship, we tend to forget that constant
nagging, scolding, blaming is equal to humiliating someone and equates to
disrespecting him/her.
So, for us to gain respect from our loved ones or vice versa, we should
instead use encouraging words and learn the art of acceptance to someone’s
unique personality or traits and lastly practice the principle of forgive and
forget.

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2. Value Quality Time
Having time for fun will absolutely help you create more memories worth
treasuring. Quality time with your loved ones may mean learning to love them
more. Contradictory to what we usually think it is not the quantity of time
you spend with your loved ones that matters but the quality you spend with
them. For example, having a minute of a heart-warming talk or making fond
memories with your kids that is more valuable than having a whole day of
arguing with them.
For instance, in a family, each member should learn to take serious
matters in a separate occasion and spend precious moments with one
another creating good memories together. These memories will serve as their
investment for the future. The time that they spend together will surely have
a positive impact on their relationship as a family.
For a group of people to have some quality time, each of them must have
a very optimistic aura and jolly personality. Jolly personality is always and
obviously appreciated by most of the people. Optimistic point of view is
captivating and can drive someone to be a better person, too. Being a better
individual means having a good perspective and that can make sound
decisions.
Though others may consider different means of spending quality time
with others as sitting quietly together while watching the sunset or reading
their favorite novel together over a cup of coffee, as well.
Optimism and jolliness can surely nurture anyone’s relationship and
turn it to be the best gift one could ever receive in his/her lifetime.
3. Trust and Honesty
Every person deserves to be trusted by someone dear to them
particularly by family, friends, and significant other. It is through genuine
trust that person feels a sense of belongingness and a feeling of being loved.
The person who consistently receives someone’s trust will grow trusting
him/herself based on how others trust him/her. Indeed, positive
encouragement may create a positive outlook in life.
Trust is the heart of all relationships, and because of its presence, other
things follow like confidence, loyalty, and most of all honesty.
However, for one to completely trust and be trusted, you must realize
that the first step towards it is honesty. Trust is earned as they say, but we
should also remember that it is not easy to be honest when you know that
no one trusts you. So, to keep someone’s honesty, we should be ready to trust
him/her first, as no one would love to be in a relationship without trust and
honesty. Keep in mind that trust will not be visible without honesty, as
honesty shall not come without trust.

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4. Well-communicated Love
Love we felt may certainly start any form of relationship. However, it is
not the thing that can keep it. Love is just a feeling. What really keeps any
relationship is the love that is well-communicated.
Open communication is one of the most essential elements for any kind
of relationship to keep it going. How can we say that our love is well-
communicated? A tap on a shoulder, a kiss on a cheek, a very encouraging
smile, a simple hug, may just be some of the most genuine and sincerest
ways of expressing your love towards one another.
Means of showing well-communicated love may seem to be very simple
for everyone, but it requires effort. It is not easy to consistently cheer someone
up when you yourself are having a hard time. Though, that thing per se can
make your actions look so genuine and worthy of being cherished.

5. Reliability and Security

Each one of us dearly loves to have somebody whom we can depend on
and who will guarantee to protect us from any harm or trouble at any
circumstance.
This virtue teaches everyone the value of recognizing someone’s
imperfections that he/she is ready to extend him/herself to the person. This
act of kindness will foster a sense of connection, security, and relief.
A hand that is ready to help would make someone feel he/she is well-
taken care of by someone. This feeling would also develop a sense of
responsibility since he/she would be aware of his/her attitude and behavior
for he/she is being looked upon.
As this affection consistently and mutually exists in both parties, a
stronger relationship might start to develop.

6. Non-judgmental Listening and Presence

Who among us would like to be in a company of people who do not have
the heart to listen and give us a chance to explain our sides first? Most people
would find this situation totally unfair.
You may have noticed that there are people who certainly give up in a
relationship for having a difficult kind of feeling, because of being judged for
whatever their past mistakes.
To avoid this, listening is the key factor that makes communication
prosper. Sincere listening is also a kind of expressing how genuine you
communicate your love and affection to someone special to you.
Listening with a high value of integrity indicates your presence which is
non-judgmental and not discriminatory.
If we desire to have a stronger relationship with anyone, we should have
the characteristic of a good listener. Being a good listener helps one to become
a good adviser for he/she could easily discern pieces of advice that could

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alleviate someone’s feelings. After sharing your thoughts and experience to
someone close to you, you will feel unburdened as if a heavy stone was lifted
from your chest. The weight of your anxiety, worries, and doubts could
diminish just simply by having someone to listen to you without judgment
and prejudice.
This kind of experience will precisely increase your tendency to
reciprocate the love, trust, honesty, and sense of encouragement, reliability,
and security toward another.
No matter what words we use to express the key factors that will make
a healthy relationship, do not forget that it always takes two to tango. For a
relationship to grow and become successful, parties involved should take
their own sets of responsibility.
Remember that being and choosing to be part of any relationship by any
circumstance requires commitment. Committing oneself means offering the
best version of yourself while still learning to accept and wait till the other
party will be able to do the same.

Learning Tasks

Task 1
A. Write True if the statement is correct and write False if the statement is
not correct. Write your answer on a separate sheet of paper.
_______1. Attraction is a force that unite people.
_______2. Affection is one of human beings' greatest emotions.
_______3. Infatuation is love without engagement or intimacy.
_______4. People differ in what they consider attractive.
_______5. Relationship is a one-way traffic.
_______6. Personal Relationship is a form of relationship closely linked to a
person and which can only be important to that person.
_______7. Affection is one of the qualities in a relationship that everyone
looks for.
_______8. According to research study, people differ in what they consider
attractive, and cultural influences on attractiveness.
_______9. Ladies with broad shoulders and a small waist are not attractive
to men.
_______10. Intimacy is a sharing of details, emotions, and intimate thoughts

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B. Choose the letter of the best answer.
1. Which of the following is NOT part of so called “feel good” chemicals?
A. Oxydicin B. Endorphin C. Serotonin D. Dopamine
2. What do you call the feelings and action that keep partners working
together to maintain a relationship?
A. Affection B. Attraction C. Commitment D. Love
3. Which type of love consist of passion and commitment?
A. Romantic Love B. Fatuous Love C. Liking D. Compasionate
4. Which among the choices below is NOT considered as one of the ways in
expressing commitment with others?
A. empathy B. trust C. respect D. secrecy

5. Which of the following best describes Oxytocin?

A. It is one of the four “feel-good chemicals that promotes strong
connections between individuals.
B. It is a peptide that conveys a behavior of individual.
C. It produces sad hormones secreted in the brain.
D. It produces a behavior of developing stable, loving, and long-term
relationship.
6. What item shows the importance of relationships?
A. It provides food and shelter.
B. It assists one in his/her job.
C. It gives one sense of belongingness.
D. It increases one's enthusiasm towards work.
7. What is meant by having quality time with your loved ones?
A. having cheerful moments with your friends
B. having serious arguments with your parents
C. eating dinner with the complete family members
D. spending a day with the family members in the mall
8. What is meant by being responsible in a relationship?
A. taking turns to do household chores
B. taking your duty religiously and seriously
C. taking advantage of the kindness of the other party
D. taking your responsibility to keep the relationship healthy
9. What statement does NOT show that a person is a good listener?
A. He/She puts earphones on.
B. He/She gives the person a hug.
C. He/She willingly shared his/her point of view.
D. He/She discusses his/her previous experience.

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10. What is likely to happen when one person consistently receives someone’s
trust?
A. He/she will hate him/herself more.
B. He/she will love him/herself more.
C. He/she will demonstrate unpleasant behaviour.
D. He/she will be confident in whatever thing he/she does.
11. What is meant by non-judgmental listening?
A. reacting violently over the issue
B. keeping what was shared a secret
C. keeping your mouth shot the whole time
D. getting the point of view of the person sharing
12. What is meant by commitment in a relationship?
A. forgetting your own identify
B. offering yourself to the relationship
C. insisting someone to offer him/herself in a relationship
D. making the other party comfortable in the relationship
13. How can you show you value your relationship?
A. I will consider the feelings of my loved ones.
B. I will consider the benefit I get from everyone.
C. I will forget the kindness of the people around me.
D. I will take good care of my loved ones when they are sick.
14. What statements do NOT give the importance of relationships?
A. Help one be decisive.
B. Help one sees his/her potentials.
C. Help one boost his/her confidence.
D. Help one to have a sense of direction.
15. How significant is one's understanding about the importance of a
relationship in his/her life?
A. It will help him/her value his/her identity and capabilities.
B. It will help him/her see his/her future problems and avoid them.
C. It will help him/her evaluate his/her relationships with his/her loved
ones.
D. It will help him/her create means of communication with his/her
loved ones.

TASK 2
Examine how you are as a person in a certain relationship. Seek the help
of your parent/s, friend, or boy/girlfriend. Conduct an interview for you to
see how well you partake in making your relationship stronger. Use all the
information you have gathered constructively as you build a stronger
relationship with your interviewee. Kindly use the interview sheet provided
below. (Interview may also be conducted using varied platforms like video

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calls, chat via messenger etc. Note: face to face may only be applied with the
family members unless they are not living in the same place.)

Name of Interviewee:

Relationship:
1. What word best describes me as
a child/friend/boy/girlfriend in
terms of my relationship with
you?
2. What makes you feel blessed to
have me?
3. In what situations am I too
weak to accept your suggestions
or make decisions?
4. How do I cope with the
challenges of our relationship?
5. What advice would you give me
so that I can overcome my
weaknesses?
6. What things do most of the time
I fail to understand you as a
person/your decision?
7. What shall I do to extend myself
to you during these times?
8. What should I expect from you
as I try to start changing myself to
meet your expectations so we
could both achieve our goals for
this relationship to prosper?

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 .

Reflection

Direction: Complete the phrase below.

I learned that _______________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
References:
“Attraction.” Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Accessed June 8, 2020.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/attraction.
“Love.” Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Accessed June 8, 2020.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love
Jhangiani , Dr. Rajiv, and Dr. Hammond Tarry. “Principles of Social
Psychology – 1ST INTERNATIONAL EDITION : Charles Stangor, Rajiv
Jhangiani, Hammond Tarry : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming.”
Internet Archive, 1 Jan. 1970, archive.org/ details/
PrinciplesOfSocialPsychology.
Brannan, D, and C. D. Mohr. “Love, Friendship, and Social Support.” Noba.
IL: DEF publishers. Accessed June 8, 2020.
https://nobaproject.com/modules/love-friendship-and-social-
support.
Carter, S., and S. Porges. “Biochemistry of Love.” Noba. IL: DEF publishers,
2020. https://nobaproject.com/modules/biochemistry-of-love.

Diener, E. “Happiness: the science of subjective well-being.” Noba textbook

series: Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers. Accessed June 8,
2020.https://nobaproject.com/modules/happiness-the-science-of-
subjective-well-being#content

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Moskowitz, J. P. & Piff, P. K. “Cooperation” Noba textbook series:
Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers, 2020
https://nobaproject.com/modules/cooperation.

Top 4 Elements of Strong Family Relationships.(2020) Retrieved June 8,

2020 from Shady Oak Primary School and Boomtime
https://shadyoakprimary.com/top-4-elements-of-strong-family-
relationships/

4 Key Elements of Friendships That Inspire (2020) Retrieved June 8, 2020

from Intention I am Inspired https://intentioninspired.com/friendships-
that-inspire/

Compiled by:
JENNIFER V. GONZALES
Teacher III

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