Couple Assessment

SELF- ASSESSMENT BEFORE MARRIAGE:
Self- assessment means the assessment or evaluation of oneself or one’s performance,

attitudes or actions. It is basically an individual review that is performed to identify the
elements which can be changed or improved to achieve one’s predefined goal. It also helps in
your growth psychologically, emotionally and mentally. It is important in every part of one’s
life even when you are getting married because life before marriage and after marriage are
poles apart. Before marriage, one only thinks about oneself, the result of one’s actions is on
him/her only but after marriage any conduct of one partner affect the another one. Some
people don’t feel that self- assessment before marriage as an important task to conduct. Due
to this mentality, we can acknowledge consistent fights between the couples, or, no planning
for family, or problem with money or time, or some of them get divorce or sometimes, they
become bound in a relationship where there is no happiness or love. There are also various
instances when one partner gets involved into extra-marital affair as they feel that the person
with whom he/she is having affair understands him/her better than his/her own life partner.
Any relation whether it is marriage or friendship should give happiness and love rather than
trapping you. It is necessary for both of the gender. A successful and happy marriage is like a
six-meal deal. For a marriage to be successful, it is important that the couples have
understanding, trust and communication between themselves along with the feeling of love,
care and connection. And, to know about all of these you need self-assessment.
Here are some of the methods of conducting self-assessment, which you can conduct before
marriage:
 PRIORITY: You need to check whether your partner is still on the top of your priority
list or his/her place has been captured by something else. Do you still make sacrifices
for him/her or demonstrate your love to him/ her selflessly?
 COMMITMENT: Do you feel committed towards your partner? Ask yourself that
whether you and your partner are actively working and committing time to make your
relationship last and work.
 COMMUNICATION: Are you able to communicate your strengths, weaknesses,

desires, pain, happiness and everything that happens surround you easily to your
partner or you are having difficulty in doing so? Do you and your partner talk
effectively about the issues which are disturbing you or causing problems in your
relationship.
 LIKES AND DIFFERENCES: You have to assess that what are your likes and
dislikes and do they match with your partner. Do you both agree on same things? This
is necessary because sometimes regular disagreement between the partners are main
reasons for having fights more than often.
 EXPECTATIONS: You need to assess that what are your expectation from the
marriage, what you expect from your partner to do or, what responsibilities you
expect your partner to share with you or, how you expect your partner to share the
responsibility of in-laws with you.
 FINANCIAL DECISION: Disagreement on financial issues are one of the most
famous reasons leading eventually to divorce. There should be no secrets between you
and your partner on these matters. You need to assess that whether you are a spender
or a saver or, how do you want to contribute in the expenditure after your marriage
and communicate the same to your partner.
 CHILDREN: Another important ground on which you have to assess that at which
point of time of your marriage, you want to have kids. What are things you expect
from your partner in the upbringing and responsibility of the children? Having clarity
over these things will save you from a lot of disagreements.
Advantages: In India, people are changing and developing. The relationships of people are
changing. The concept of arranged marriages in which you did not have knowledge about
your partner are not seen often in the society. People are inclined towards knowing their life
partner before marriage. So, the concept of self-assessment before marriage has evolved so
that partners can know much about themselves, their partner and what do they need from this
marriage. Self-assessment before marriage is way better than feeling trapped in a relation
which will mean nothing to you and your life.
Some of the advantages of self-assessment are:
 It will make relationship last longer along with giving you a happy married life. It will
reduce your fear and uncertainty that what will happen after marriage.
 It will help you and your partner in dealing with disagreement over some issues or
topics.
 It will help you in clarity as mentioned earlier not only emotionally but practically.
Sometimes, you take decisions emotionally and later, you repent upon it.
 Marriage is a life-long decision. It is a decision which will change your whole life. By
having self-assessment, you can take this decision easily and it will also strengthen
your self-esteem.
 This will help you in having a good future not only for you but also for your partner.
With clear views, you will foresee the upcoming ups and downs in your marriage life.
 It will help you setting clear boundaries for your financial plans, career plans, future
goals etc and communication of these things same to your partner will help you in
avoiding major conflicts later.
 With this, you can measure your readiness for the upcoming responsibilities on
various things like taking care of the household or children or in-laws etc.
SUGGESTIONS: Relationships are one of the fragile things which needs proper care,
nourishment, attention and time from both the partners. Before getting married, you need to
prepare yourself for it. Don’t go with the flow because others are doing it. You should have
to assess why you want to be married, or what are the things that you need or expect from
your partner, it doesn’t matter how small it is because sometimes, these small unfulfilled
expectations are the reasons behind breaking a marriage. Be sure that this is time when you
want to settle or you need some more time for that. You should always be prepared what is
forthcoming. If you need some more suggestions, our website is free to help you with that.

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SELF- ASSESSMENT BEFORE MARRIAGE:

Self- assessment means the assessment or evaluation of oneself or one’s performance,

 COMMUNICATION: Are you able to communicate your strengths, weaknesses,

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