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    Acheiving Audience Involvement

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    The document provides examples of revising sentences to achieve audience involvement and reader benefit by personalizing the language and using positive words and pronouns. It also provides an example of rewriting a flawed correspondence between an ELMT department and its staff by making the language more positive and solution-oriented. The key aspects are personalizing the language to directly address the reader, using positive words to encourage readers, and framing requests or issues in a constructive manner.

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    Acheiving Audience Involvement

    Uploaded by

    api-592929150
    47 views2 pages
    The document provides examples of revising sentences to achieve audience involvement and reader benefit by personalizing the language and using positive words and pronouns. It also provides an example of rewriting a flawed correspondence between an ELMT department and its staff by making the language more positive and solution-oriented. The key aspects are personalizing the language to directly address the reader, using positive words to encourage readers, and framing requests or issues in a constructive manner.

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    The document provides examples of revising sentences to achieve audience involvement and reader benefit by personalizing the language and using positive words and pronouns. It also provides an example of rewriting a flawed correspondence between an ELMT department and its staff by making the language more positive and solution-oriented. The key aspects are personalizing the language to directly address the reader, using positive words to encourage readers, and framing requests or issues in a constructive manner.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    47 views2 pages

    Acheiving Audience Involvement

    Uploaded by

    api-592929150
    The document provides examples of revising sentences to achieve audience involvement and reader benefit by personalizing the language and using positive words and pronouns. It also provides an example of rewriting a flawed correspondence between an ELMT department and its staff by making the language more positive and solution-oriented. The key aspects are personalizing the language to directly address the reader, using positive words to encourage readers, and framing requests or issues in a constructive manner.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    of 2

    To: Nancy Meyers

    From: Alex Michel

    Date: January 19, 2022

    Subject: APLED 121-Chapter 5 – Achieving Audience Involvement-Pg. 115

    Achieving Audience Involvement - pg115

    1. Revise the following sentences to achieve audience involvement through personalization and
    by adding pronouns and names.
    a. The company will require further information before processing this request
    Spokane Community college requires a vaccination attestation before you can process
    enrollment into winter quarter classes.
    b. It has been decided that a new procedure must be implemented to avoid further
    mechanical failures.
    Professor Smith has decided that the live electric wires are locked off, so ELMT students
    avoid possibility of electrocution while learning.
    c. The department supervisor wants to extend his heartfelt thanks for the fine efforts
    expended.
    Ms. Meyers wants to extend her most heartfelt thanks to you for helping organize after
    class.
    d. I think you have done a great job. I want you to know that you have surpassed this
    month’s quota by 12 percent. I believe I can speak for the entire department by saying
    thank you.
    On Behalf of the ELMT department, we want to extend a deep thank you and
    congratulations for surpassing this month’s goal by 12%.
    e. If the computer overloads, simultaneously press Reset and Control. Wait for the
    screen command. If it reads “Data Recovered,” continue operations. If it reads “I/O
    Error,” call the computer resource center.
    If you see an overload occur, simultaneously press Reset and Control. Next the screen
    command is going to appear. If your screen reads “Data Recovered” you are all set to
    go. If the screen reads “I/O Error,” please refer to the computer resource center to
    further assist you.
    2. Revise the following sentences to achieve reader involvement and benefit, using positive
    words and pronouns.
    a. We cannot lay your cable until you sign the attached waiver
    I can gladly begin to lay your cable once you sign the attached waiver, I have for you.
    b. John don’t purchase the wrong program, if we keep inefficient records, our customers
    will continue to complain.
    Try finding the best possible program John, it will help with more efficiently kept
    records, and it’ll satisfy our customers.
    c. You have not paid your bill yet. Failure to do so might result in termination of services.
    Your streaming service payment is past due, please pay the due amount to continue our
    services.
    d. If you incorrectly quote and paraphrase, you will receive an F on the assignment.
    Remember APLED 121 students, be careful in the use of incorrect quotes and
    paraphrasing as it will result in a F grade for this assignment.
    e. Your team has lost 6 of their last 12 games.
    Good work, your football team has managed to win six of the 12 games.
    3. Rewrite the following flawed correspondence

    To: ELMT Staff


    Subject: Fourth quarter goals
    Due to lack of protocols within our ELMT department we have fell short of reaching our
    quarterly goal for the third term. To avoid falling short of our goal again in the fourth quarter
    and so on, the following changes are being integrated into our workspace.
    1. Have sales department increase the number of cold calls by 15%
    2. Weekly progress reports from all the sales staff
    3. Consequences for late reports
    4. Managers pushing this agenda to meet next quarterly goals

    Remember if one of us are falling and in need of help don’t be afraid to reach out for help to
    get back on track.

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