Day 8

Self-Battles are Won with Forgiveness

"I think the first step is to understand that forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator.
Forgiveness liberates the victim. It's a gift you give yourself."
- T. D. Jakes
The first time I heard from the great Inky Johnson that life happens to everyone, I didn't
quite understand what he meant, but the more I thought about it, the clearer it gradually became.
Finally, I came to a point in my life, where I understood that I don't have control  over everything
that happens in my life. I understood that I didn't have a say over what people did to me, but I
had control over how I took it. It is not my call whether or not people will step on my feet,
however, it is my call to decide what I will do about it. Either to hold on to the hurt or let it go. In
the same vein, you cannot determine who will or will not offend you; what you can do is to
decide to either let them go or not. The most painful thing about pain is not letting go. When you
hold onto pain or hurt, you empower such pain to keep on punishing you. So why not let go and
move on with your life.

Life is Hard Enough, don't make it even harder 

You must see it as a point of duty to remind yourself of the above line every day because
sometimes in life, you will do or say something that will make you feel bad. There are things
people will do to offend you. But you must remember that; “the first to apologize is the bravest,
the first to forgive is the strongest and the first to forget is the happiest (Anonymous). So l earn to
free yourself from internal hurt; forgive and move on.
Since I have been practicing the power of forgiveness, it has helped me understand that
life is uncertain and that nothing or no one is perfect. The principle that has helped me realize
that no one is perfect is a principle I call: True Ownership From Within. This principle taught
me to forgive myself when I have done or said something out of the way. That forgiving myself
will allow me to move forward with my Visions and Mission. But, most importantly, it has
taught me to forgive others for myself. 

Think about this:

There are times you have done or said something that you feel will stop your vision
and mission. Well, allow me to remind you that nothing or no one is perfect. Hence, before you
talk of forgiving others and moving on, you have to forgive yourself. You can only be as tender
to others as you are to yourself.  So, just Forgive yourself, forgive others, and move forward.
Action:

1. Do a deep soul searching about things you've not forgiven yourself about

2. Write down the names of everyone you think you can't forgive

3. Forgive yourself and let those people go too

Say This:

I am free from all hurts and pains I have sustained in the past

Everyone that might have offended me, I let you go

I am compassionate

I am a loving and forgiving person

Grind and Grow: Win the battle from Within 

Day 9
Gratitude Black Queen
“A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.”
- Diane Mariechild
There is a popular saying that goes thus: behind every successful King is a hard-working
queen. Although this is true, a woman is more than that. As a matter of fact, one of the best ways
to develop a nation is to empower the women. A nation with successful women is a thriving one.
A queen is not just any woman but one that possesses royalty and nobility.
There is another saying that an ordinary woman cannot raise a boy. As controversial as
this statement sounds; I truly believe it because it takes a strong Queen to do so. This is
something I have experienced firsthand: I have lived it. I have had some amazing black Queens
in my life that have played a major role in shaping the man I am becoming today. These are the
women who helped be break free from the cocoons of timidity and fear into the realities of being
a man. I would like to take the time out to acknowledge them with Love and Gratitude. I want
you know that I acknowledge you all very dearly.

Great Grandma Cora aka Goat

Thank you for creating a strong lineage,

Thank you for always speaking belief over me,
Thank you for your warm hugs,
Thank you for teaching me what it means to be strong during tough times,
Thank you for your warm cooked meals,
Thank you for supporting me at everything I did,
Thank you for loving me,
Thank you for allowing me to play football,
Thank you for watching over me each and every day,
Without you, there is no me,
I love you wholeheartedly, and I promise to make you proud from above.
Thank you, black Queen!!!
Mother aka Elo
Thank you for birthing me,
Thank you for being my Mother, 
Thank you for loving me,
Thank you for having my back instead I am right or wrong,
Thank you for showing me what hard work looks like,
Thank you for always sacrificing to make me happy,
Thank you for instilling morals and principles in me,
Thank you for always telling me that I am worthy,
Thank you for always believing in me,
Thank you for allowing me to grow up and make my own decisions to learn from,
Thank you for supporting all of my Visions,
Thank you for helping me throughout my football career,
Thank you for helping me through my tough times,
Thank you for giving me advice,
I love you wholeheartedly, and I promise to make you proud,
Thank you, black Queen!!!

Auntie Bird, aka Mom number 2

Thank you for being my mom 2,
Thank you for loving me,
Thank you for having my back, 
Thank you for supporting me with anything I ask for or wanted to do,
Thank you for keeping me fresh,
Thank you for taking me in as your son,
Thank you for coming to all my football games,
Thank you for all the out of town trips,
Thank you for always believing in me,
Thank you for always telling me I am unique,
Thank you for always speaking positivity over my life,
I love you wholeheartedly, and I promise to make you proud,
Thank you, black Queen!!!

Ms. Shawn, aka God Mom

Thank you for allowing Coach Boa to bring me into your guys family with a second thought in
mind, 
Thank you for loving me,
Thank you for believing in me,
Thank you for supporting me at everything I did and do,
Thank you for always praying for me,
Thank you for telling me that I was God sent,
Thank you for pushing me to always give my best,
Thank you for connecting me to my life brother “Lil Boa.”
Thank you for providing for me,
Thank you for always making sure I was taking care of on those Florida trips in little football,
Thank you for helping me to become the man I am today,
I love you wholeheartedly, and I promise to make you proud,
Thank you, Black Queen!!!

Ms. Janice Thomas, aka Ms. J

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your family,

Thank you for loving me,
Thank you for supporting me throughout my football career,
Thank you for your positive advice,
Thank you for allowing me to stay with you guys during my tough times,
Thank you for always helping me to see the good in anything,
Thank you for helping me find my own spiritual path, 
Thank you for supporting me from a distance,
I love you wholeheartedly, and I promise to make you proud,
Thank you, black Queen!!!

Ms. Ford, aka THE BIG ELEGANT

Thank you for always keeping it real with me,

Thank you for showing me what superior confidence looks like,
Thank you for showing me what hard work and dedication looks like,
Thank you for showing me how to dominate your lane, 
Thank you for mentoring me,  
Thank you for supporting my Visions,
Thank you for changing my thought process,
Thank you for always speaking positivity,
Thank you for helping me overcome my biggest fear of reading and writing,
I love you wholeheartedly, and I promise to make you proud,
Thank you, black Queen!!!

Think about this:

There are Queens in your life that have shaped you in one way or the other. There are
women whose life has been to you a never-ending flow of encouragement, support, and strength.
It might be your mom, your wife, a colleague, or a friend. Why not take a moment to appreciate
them for all they’ve been doing in your life.
Action:

1. Make a list of every woman that has been of benefit to you

2. Send messages of appreciation to them

3. Buy them gifts of appreciation

 4. Make a decision to be of help to others too. Be a light to others too.

Say This:

I am appreciative

I have been made to be of help to others far and near

I am hospitable and friendly

I receive help from people around me and far away

I am connected with those that will help my destiny

Grind and Grow:  Behind every great King stands great Queens
Day 10
Late Bloomer
Life unfolds in stages and phase; each phase has a lesson for us all. There is also a set of
expectations over a person at a particular stage. What you'll expect from a toddler is not the same
thing you'll expect from an 8th grader. These stages go beyond physical growth into every other
facets of life. In business, workplace or a career; we can classify the satges into: the amateur
stage, beginner stage, professional stage, and veteran stage. There are different levels of
performance and conduct that are expected from people across these classes. You won't expect a
manager to have the same ethics as a messenger. However, no matter what we expect from each
stage of development. Some people will not immediately have the attributes expected of their
stage; these people are often called late bloomers.

I would consider myself a late bloomer for football and other things like reading and
writing. You may ask what a late bloomer is? Before knowing what a late bloomer indeed was, I
used to think a late bloomer is someone or something that will fall short of the rest. However,
now that I have gained and lived a few decades of life, I have more insight. So, I can now define
a late bloomer as someone or something that goes through a process of developing into
something extraordinary. While growing, I never viewed myself as anything special until I
started embracing being a late bloomer has given me the mindset to see its value. I always
questioned myself and God. Some of the myriads of questions I asked was: 

When will I grow?

When will I gain weight?

When will I look like a football player?

When will I learn how to read without messing up?

Why do I have to be the smallest one on the team?

Why do I have to be the only one in the class that doesn't know how to read? 

Why do I have to feel less than?

When will it be my time to shine on the football field?

Why do I need reading & writing to be successful?

These were a few questions I asked myself daily. If you are reading this, I want you to
know it is perfectly ok to question yourself, but never doubt yourself. If you are considered a late
bloomer in the view of others, don't take offense to it. Instead, embrace it wholeheartedly
because you are someone of exceptional value. A late bloomer is someone or something of
unique significance, detail, mindfulness, strength, process, self-discipline, infinity, perseverance,
patience, gratitude, 1% Why, given, Upright + Strong + Heroic = Monolith

Think about this:

When compared to that of a rat, the gestation period of an elephant is a long time. A rat
gestates for just 20 days and can give birth to as many as 20 offspring at once. On the other hand,
an elephant gestates for nearly 22 mons and gives birth to only one child. So when compared to a
rat, an elephant might be tagged a late bloomer, but the result of the elephant's long wait is
enough to swallow millions of rats in size. So before you blame yourself for being a late
bloomer, just know that great things take time.
Action:
1. Make a list of everything you have difficulty learning

2. Make a plan on how to learn them

3. Start celebrating your little wins

4. Always speak words to yourself that will reaffirm you or your resilience and strength
 Say this:

I am smart

I am not a failure

I don't give up

I take charge of every situation that seeks to make me irrelevant

I am the solution to problems of this generation

No matter how late it seems, I will get to my destination

Grind and Grow: It is not how or when you bloom, it is about that you BLOOMED!!
Day 11
It Just Happens

There are things in life that we all cannot explain. We prepared for, planned for, and
prayed for, but the outcome still surprised us and when asked to explain, all we can say is that
THINGS WORKED OUT. Have you ever struggled so hard at something that when you
finished, it felt easy? Have you ever wished for something, and it came way before the time you
thought it would come?  Have you ever conquered a big task that no one else could, and you did
it with ease? Have someone ever asked you how you did that, and all you can say is IT JUST
HAPPENED.

The Power of Visualization 

I would love to share with you one experience I had recently that inspired me. I was
listening in on an interview between the great Tony Robbins and Conor McGregor, and the first
thing I noticed throughout the discussion was that Conor McGregor said the word GRIND
multiple times. Mr. McGregor then went in-depth and explained what he meant by grinding. He
explained the difficulty involved in preparing for a fight. The sweat, the pain, the agony, and the
hard work. We all at some points have prepared for things that mattered to us. It might be an
exam, a song, a performance, or maybe a date, and you will agree with me that preparation is not
always straightforward. But then, after practice, things still turn out, and all we can say is that:
THINGS JUST WORKED OUT.
As the interview continued, Mr. Conor broke down his routine when preparing for his
fights. He said he would predict the punches he would land and the punches his opponent would
land or miss. When asked by Mr. Robbins: “how do you predict these things going into
the fight?” Mr. Conor responded with the late Bruce Lee quote, “If you know yourself, then you
will know others.” Most importantly, the power of visualization makes the impossible
possible. There is a power in visualization that makes you access exciting things. The future
might be shrouded in mystery, but I am bold to inform you that: The future is predictable.

Think about this:

Life is so uncertain, no one can say for sure what will happen the next moment. But then,
you can use the power of visualization in predicting what will come to be. That being said, you
must also be willing to put in the grind till you can get the result of IT JUST HAPPENS.  So I
challenge you to fuse visualization into a solid resolve and effort, then you will see things play
out in beautiful ways for you.
Action:

1. Take a pen and write down where you see yourself in the next five years

2. Now, write down things you have to do and the things you have to stop doing to get to

that destination

3. Keep a daily log on these things and be sure you have stopped the ones you desire to stop

and that you are doing the ones you decided to start doing.

Say This:

I am focused

I have received clarity and direction

Every good plan I have for the future works out

 I am innovative

I have insight

I see greatness and success in my future

Grind and Grow: Visions do come True

Day 12
External Believing Boy, Internal
Believing Man

According to Google.com, external means belonging to or from the outer surface

or structure of something, and internal standards are situated on the inside. For most of my youth
and teenage years, I was externally confident, but internally, I doubted myself. Outside, I was
like a coconut: strong, solid, and undaunting, but inside, I was this timid boy who needed as
much help as he could get. The most dangerous part of it all is that those that were supposed to
help me thought I was okay. They thought I've got it all figured out, and I didn't need help. You
must understand that not everyone looks in control of their lives and situations that are actually
in power; some are just trying not to allow their weaknesses to show. That was who I was.
Then, One day I heard the great Inky Johnson speak about using someone else's faith and
belief until you possess your own, and I was really touched. It felt like he had peeped into my
heart before speaking that word. But, the word traveled directly into my soul and clarified most
of my doubts. As a young man, inside me, I didn't believe in myself or in my dreams. It was the
dreams of others I thought of. I trusted everyone but me. This conflict disturbed me until I heard
those words and now I stand as an UPRIGHT, STRONG, HEROIC, and BELIEVING MAN.

How did I do it
1. By praying more and asking myself these two questions within one: "What and Who am I
meant to become with the life I was blessed with?"
2. By sitting back and observing the things and people that I was attached to. This served as
a filter for me as I focused more on positive people and do away with the negative ones.
3. I started paying attention to experiencing life and understanding what internally comes
from obtaining the power of self and not being afraid to see what life has in store. 
4.  I wrote down my visions and thoughts and not valuing other's visions more than I
appreciated my own.
5.  By accepting my fears and understanding that they are the reason, I can write this book and
help others become that internal and external believing boy or girl NOW. 
Think about this:

There are lots of things going on in your mind that you are not showing. So firstly, you
have to be deliberate in making sure that those things are positive and reflect on your outside.
Learn to believe in yourself. Then secondly, there are lots of people around you who are showing
strength externally but are weak within. So at every opportunity you get, speak to people about
their lives. DO no just assume people are okay.
Action:

1. Write out every thing you doubt yourself on

2. Start doing them: write that proposal, organize that program, put in for that scholarship, start

that conversation, etc.

3. Believe in yourself and in your dreams. No one will do that for you

Say This:
 I believe in myself
There is nothing impossible for me
I am creative
I am exposed to ever-flowing wells of wisdom.

Grind and Grow: Self Belief is the first step to achieving your beliefs internally and externally.