Why Don't People Like Me?

Why Don't People Like Me?

Theresa A Roberts

ISBN 978-1-63630-882-1 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-68526-098-9 (Hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-63630-883-8 (Digital)

Copyright © 2021 Theresa A. Roberts

All rights reserved

First Edition

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Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.

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Table of Contents

Dedication

Introduction

Assessment for Why Don't People Like Me?

Describe Your Parents and Who They Are

Do You Know What Controls Your Heart?

Why Do You Push People Away?

Do You Seek Affirmation or Confirmation?

Do You Need People in Your Life?

What Reconnects You to Hurt in Your Life?

Do You Have a Mentor in Your Life?

What Is the Average Length of a Friendship in Your Life?

How Do You Describe a Friend?

Are Friends Important to You?

Are You Able to Supply Friends with What You Require of Them?

Are You a Friend or a Dependent?

Do You Understand Why People Are in Your Life?

Are You a Giver or a Receiver in Relationships?

Can You Handle Honesty?

Are You Aggressive in Finding Friends, or Do You Wait for Others to Invite You into Relationships?

What Is It About You that Annoys People?

How Long Does It Take for You to Forgive Someone Who Has Disappointed You?

Do People Enjoy You, or Have They Just Learned to Tolerate You?

Are You Trustworthy, or Are You Secretly Waiting to Betray Others?

How Many Times Can a Person Hurt You Before You Walk Away?

How Do You Define Success?

Do You Struggle with Jealousy?

Do You Start New Things with Good Ideas yet Rarely Finish?

Do You Respect People, or Do You Respect Positions?

Can You Be Trusted with Confidential Information?

What Are You Hiding?

Are You a Secret Liar Who Shouldn't Be Trusted?

How Trustworthy Are You?

Do You View Life as Being Fair?

How Can You Use Your Privilege to Ensure Equality?

Are You a Person Who Pays Attention When Other People Are Talking to You?

What Type of Example Are You Setting?

What Is Your Level of Commitment?

Do You Find Ways to Argue in a Simple Conversation for No Reason?

Do You Point Out People's Errors Publicly?

What Is Your Greatest Attribute as a Person?

What Is One Great Flaw You Have that You Are Now Committed to Rid Yourself Of?

Conclusion

About the Author

Theresa A. Roberts

Why Don't People Like Me?

From the

Becoming the Perfect Me Series

Dedication

I would like to dedicate this book to those who have struggled with me to become the leader, teacher, mother, and woman of God He has designed me to be.

The process of becoming the perfect me was not easy, but it was truly necessary. To my husband of thirty-five years, Apostle Randy Roberts, I thank you for your unconditional love and support in helping me complete this project. It has been a busy year, and yet we found the time to do one more thing. I love you so much. Yes, we survived. To my children Ashley (Xavier, Ian, Robert, Olivia, and Nathan), Megan, and Chelsea, I thank you for your support and your patience in my development process.

To my parents, siblings, family, friends, and Love House Ministries, we thank you for always being there for us, believing in us, and supporting us endlessly. We could not have asked for a better group of people to serve with in the Kingdom.

To my chief editors Brandon Parker, Davina Coleman, Dr. Jamie Singleton, Megan Roberts, Tamekia Judge, and Torrye Parker, I thank you so much for every comma, every Take that out, for every Well say that, and for believing in me. You are an amazing team, and I would not have done this without you. I love you, guys!

I say a special thank you to all my supporting staff Alesha McErvin, KaSundra B. Frye, and Koren Pope who helped me transcribe this series; without you, I would not have been able to complete this project. I love you so much for your endless hours of support, dedication, and commitment.

Thank you for now, until the next book in this series is ready.

Journal included for a time of reflection.

Introduction

The hardest part about becoming you is knowing who you are from the inside out. In learning about who you are, you must identify your strengths as well as your weaknesses. It is impossible to grow without being able to understand and identify what makes you weak. You must be willing to ask yourself, Am I really ready to learn who I am?

This is the beginning process from the series Becoming the Perfect Me. As you journal your way through this process, I ask that you become transparent and honest all the way through. Please use the space provided throughout this book to write your thoughts, your reflections, and your answers. You will not be asked to share your answers as they are only for your internal building process in becoming the perfect you.

This book was a yearlong process developed from teachings that were inspired for personal development of women who are called with a purpose for living and not just surviving. The process in becoming the perfect me has been a long journey. I, like many of you, have grown up in a world where things appeared to be perfect for so many, but for me, it was a world full of flaws where I wish I could have been better. There are mistakes I wish I could do over, delays I could have taken advantage of but did not, and regrets. I grew up in the inner city, and I was the eighth of twelve children to parents who have been married for almost seventy years. I grew up in a large city where people only dreamed of becoming someone important, but rarely did. I lived in an area where the first person who went to college became the local advisor on how to become you and what you can do to be yourself. Although I grew up within a stable family environment with strong Christian convictions, I wanted more for myself, but what did I want?

When I was ten, while walking to school with my sister and brother, we were running late for school. There were not a lot of people out on the streets with us during this time. There was a man who stared at us from afar, and when we walked past him, he grabbed my sister's hat and told her to come and get it. She said, Run! As we began to run, I fell, and the man picked me up and held me close to him and would not let me go. When I looked into my sister's eyes, she stared back at me; her eyes said, I can't help you.

He talked to her to convince her to come and get her hat from him. It was apparent that he didn't want me; he wanted her, but I was his pawn. My sister could not help me or convince him to let me go, so she ran with my brother as fast as they could home to get help. By the time they returned, he had taken me away and out of view of the public. As the community hunted for me, I clung to the hope that someone would be on their way to get me soon. Afterall, I was only ten years old.

After a very long ordeal, I was finally returned to my family with no real physical scars to be noticed, but inside, I was now full of internal wounds. To survive, I had to develop a survival strategy within me that no one could identify. I wanted out of my life, out of my community, and away from the environment I grew up in because it was a constant reminder of what I survived but still suffered from internally. Although I had survived from the hands of a pedophile, I wasn't living anymore; I was only surviving until I could get away.

But what was I trying to get away from? I was not sure. To escape my internal battles, I became a perfectionist in every area of my life. I did this in hopes that, one day, greatness would allow me to escape. I became a master of creating a model that others would easily take notice of and become drawn to. I watched the behavior, character, success, and failures of other people to perfect my skills. I had become a student of the teacher called life. Since I did not want to fail at anything, I began to learn how my failure became my success.

I married very young and moved away from the reminders of my nightmare just to find out that it did not make me happy. So my secret internal journey began again where I wanted to redesign my life to escape the world of failure and strive for success. I used my beauty to enter contests, commercials, movies, and other star-struck opportunities for someone to notice my excellence and promote me out of this failure and into success. But after achieving these goals, I still found myself wanting to be more, to impress more, to gain more, to be there, and to get there.

But where was I trying to go?

What I found was that I was trying to get around life without actually living life. I wanted to live without living. I wanted something that I saw without realizing that what I had was designed for me to enjoy. Instead of enjoying life, I wished it away so that I could get to the next moment of wanting something else. Maybe I didn't know what happiness was, and I could not describe why. I did not have an internal description of happiness, so I asked myself, What is happiness, and when do I know when I have finally found it? It wasn't until God took me through a process that I found out that happiness is not what I possess; it is not who I am with, and happiness it is not anything that anyone can offer me. Happiness is the success I achieve when I accept my life with its imperfections and utilize what I have learned to change someone else's life. With a simple word I said to the Lord: Yes—I will accept my life as my journey to become the perfect me. Perfect does not mean I do not have flaws; perfect only requires me to be the best that I can possibly be. Then to Him, I am perfect for today and prepared for tomorrow.

As you learn about who you are, you will discover your strengths, weaknesses, some issues, hiccups, and hang-ups. Once those things become clear, you will