Dark Psychology and Manipulation The Best Mind Control
Dark Psychology and Manipulation The Best Mind Control
Dark Psychology and Manipulation The Best Mind Control
PSYCHOLOGY
AND
MANIPULATION
The Best Mind Control and Persuasion Techniques, Learn to Recognize
Body Language, and Use the Secrets of Emotional Intelligence to Your
Advantage
By
ASHLEY HARRISON
Psychology and Self-Help Academy
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
DARK PSYCHOLOGY
The Psychological Influence and Effects.
The Pygmalion Effect – Greater Expectations Drive Higher
Performance.
What Helps People in Psychology?
The Psychological Sub-disciplines
How Sensitive are We to Dark Psychology?
DARK MANIPULATION
Manipulative Approaches
Ordinary versus Global Manipulation
BASICS OF SECRET EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION
Overcoming Manipulation
PERSUASION VS MANIPULATION
Principles of Persuasion
HANDLING
Factors that make you vulnerable to handling
What is nonverbal communication?
How to Read Body Language?
BRAINWASHING AND MIND CONTROL
The Best Mind Control and Persuasion Techniques
THE DARKNESS OF DARK PSYCHOLOGY
SEDUCTION AND DARK PSYCHOLOGY
Seduction with the Use of Dark Psychology
Techniques to Make Seduction Work
Emotional Intelligence secrets to your benefit
CONCLUSION
INTRODUCTION
Not everybody is born into being world-bending persuaders and
influencers, but that's not the worst thing. Most of us don't aspire, nor do we
need to be Winston Churchill. But that doesn't mean we can't pick up skills
along the way that can get us where we want to be, and with the people
around us, achieve the results we want.
Every single charismatic influencer you feel compelled to follow-they were
developed in the sense that they were highly skilled in leading and
persuading others to obey. The world has very little connection to what we
were trained for by our formal schooling. You can study geometry or the
capitals of nations, but when can learning such things in your adult life
bring you where you want to be? Learning how to communicate effectively
with people will give you trust and respect, which will make a positive
difference in your everyday life. If you are ever in a point of influence,
dealing effectively with those under you would be paramount in retaining
that role.
What kind of friend are you if you don't feel like your friends can trust you
and can't convince them of anything? You're going to be a pushover and a
doormat that nobody listens to. Others aren't going to be confident you
believe what you're doing, and it's an uncomfortable sensation. The
persuasion and power are not all about pushing the corporate ladder
upwards. Being a competent persuader will affect how much desire you
have for members of the opposite sex, the price you pay for stuff, how close
your family is, and, yes, your access to better jobs and opportunities. It also
affects how others view you. Many people float on cruise control through
their days, seldom worrying about disrupting their routine or striving for
more. Deep down, most people are in search of people to follow and take
signals from. If you are confident, people would feel obligated to follow
you. This book will teach you the strategies on how to be very successful in
persuading people and also how to read body language in detail.
You'll also understand mind control and more about dark manipulation in
this book. It is true in today's world and is happening around us everywhere.
Understanding dark psychology in our lives is an essential process; we all
need to understand its trait and its effects. Now we're going to go through
the book's key objective, all about dark psychology.
CHAPTER ONE
DARK PSYCHOLOGY
Every day, people around us use the Dark Psychology techniques to exploit,
coerce, and intimidate us to get what they want. Can you use these?
Dark Psychology is deceptive art and science, and mind control. Although
Psychology is the study of human nature and is fundamental to our feelings,
behaviors, and experiences, the term Dark Psychology is the process in
which people use techniques of motivation, persuasion, deception, and
intimidation to get what they want. Although some people who use theses
know what they do and are bent on exploiting you to get what they want,
some are using dark and immoral methods without fully aware of it. All of
these people learned techniques from their parents during their childhood.
Others learned the techniques by happenstance in their teenage years or
adulthood. They unwittingly used a manipulative tactic, and it succeeded.
They did get what they wanted. And they keep using strategies to help them
get their way.
People are trained in some situations to use such techniques. Usually, sales
or marketing programs are training programs that teach grim, unethical
psychological, and persuasion techniques. Many of these services use dark
strategies to build a brand or to sell a product purely to support themselves
or their company, not the consumer. Many of these training programs
persuade people that such tactics are good and are in the buyer's interest.
And of course, when they buy the product or service, their lives would be
much easier.
The Spotlight Effect – You don't remember your errors as much as you
think
The sense of our being under constant scrutiny is in our minds alone, and
the fear and self-doubt we experience every time we make a mistake is not
a representation of reality. According to the Spotlight Effect, people don't
pay attention to our moments of disappointment as much as we think.
At Cornell, a team of psychologists asked a group of test subjects to wear
an embarrassing T-shirt (with an image of Barry Manilow's face) to
measure the Spotlight Effect and guess how many other people had seen
what they were wearing. The figures were twice as high as the real number
of the test subjects.
You are less often brought under the spotlight than you think. Recognizing
this can lead to improved comfort and relaxation in public environments
and greater freedom. More so, you can rest assured when you make a
mistake knowing the effect is far less than you thought. You can't get rid of
the shame you feel when you're committing a faux pas, but it lets you know
how much you're exaggerating its effect.
"Nothing in life is as essential as you think it is, as you think it is" – Daniel
Kahneman
How big is the difference in mood between someone earning a high income
and earning a lower income? The gap does exist, but it's less than one-third
of what most people expect. It shows the Concentrating Effect; in the case
of income, the income factor related to mood overshadows the myriad other
playing circumstances.
What makes a Californian happier than a Midwesterner? When
psychologists asked people of both areas this question, each group
responded that the Californians had to be considerably happier. The reality
is there was no difference between the Californians and Midwesterners' real
happiness level. Respondents centered on California's sunny weather and
easy-going lifestyle as the leading factors in happiness while there are, in
fact, many other, less-known facets of happiness that Midwesterners enjoy:
low crime, earthquake safety, etc.
Marketers use Focusing Effect (also called Focusing Illusion) on customers
by persuading them of a product or service's required features. Politicians,
too, use concentrating on overemphasizing the importance of specific
problems.
To combat this effect, maintaining perspective, looking at issues from
several angles, and weighing multiple factors before making a decision is
necessary. The Concentrating Effect's drawback is that it can lead to errors
in estimating future results. You will increase the chances of making a
rational decision if you can stop tunnel vision (or at least admit it can exist).
Psychology is an empirical study of mental mechanisms and human
behavior. It has existed since the ancient Egyptian and Greek civilizations,
mainly as a branch of philosophy, but broke out as an independent branch
of scientific study in the 1870s. The results of psychological experiments
are more important and valued than any previous time, and top researchers
are still uncovering new findings and applications for psychology.
Consider, for example, the initial response of early 20th century
psychological and medical practitioners to World War I veterans. An initial
hypothesis written by physicist Charles Myers in 1915 posited soldiers
suffered "shell shock" due to exposure to frequent concussive explosions,
which resulted in brain damage. When this hypothesis was disproved, the
conventional opinion at the time was that the people suffering from "shell
shock" were either frail or cowardly, even though some figures claim that
about 20 percent of the surviving veterans of the First World War acquired
the disease. Modern psychologists almost universally accept that shell
shock was simply what we generally call today a post-traumatic stress
disorder (PTSD)1.
Many of the primary modern psychology applications revolve around
protecting people from emotional and physical damage while providing
them with the mental capacity required to cope with the psychological
perils that many people face every day. Issues such as relationships,
workplace tension, and financial problems may all be caused by
psychological symptoms that involve intervention and management, where
modern psychology comes into play and why it is so relevant.
Despite the popular image of the media-popularized private practice
therapist, psychology practitioners do have access to a wide variety of
industries and fields, from education and criminal justice to marketing and
politics.
Sensation
What does it mean to feel something? Sensory receptors are neurons that
are specialized in responding to particular stimuli. This phenomenon has
arisen when a sensory receptor senses sensory input. For example, the light
that reaches the eye causes the cells that line the eye's back to make
chemical changes. These cells relay signals to the central nervous system in
the form of motivation for action (as you learned while researching
biopsychology). The conversion from the energy of sensory input into the
potential for action is called transduction.
Since primary school, you probably knew we have five senses: vision,
hearing (audition), smell (olfaction), taste (tasting), and touch
(somatosensation). It turns out that they oversimplify this notion of five
senses. We also have sensory systems that provide information on balance
(vestibular sense), location and motion of the body (proprioception and
kinesthesia), pain (nociception), and temperature (thermoception). One may
express the sensitivity of a given sensory system to the relevant stimuli as
an absolute threshold. The absolute threshold denotes the minimum amount
of stimulus energy needed to detect the stimulus 50 percent. Another way to
go about this is how dark light can be, or how soft a sound can be and yet
be heard halfway through the time. Our sensory receptor sensitivity can be
very impressive. It has been calculated that the most alert sensory cells in
the back of the eye can sense a candle flame 30 miles away on a clear night.
We can get signals delivered to conscious consciousness below the
threshold — these are called subliminal signals. When it is powerful
enough to excite sensory receptors and transmit nerve impulses to the brain,
a stimulus hits a physiological level: that is, an absolute level. A message is
said to be subliminal below the threshold: we are getting it, but we are not
consciously aware of it. Therefore, the message is detected, but it was not
selected for processing in working or short-term memory. There is much
debate about using subliminal messages in ads, rock music, and self-help
programs for ages. Research evidence suggests that people can process
information outside of consciousness and react to it in laboratory settings.
But that doesn't mean we follow these signals like zombies; in fact, secret
signals do not affect the laboratory behavior.
Absolute thresholds are usually calculated in the circumstances suitable for
adaptation, under extremely regulated conditions. Often we're more
interested in how much sensory variation is required to detect a variation
between them. It is known as the simple visible difference or level of
difference. Unlike the absolute threshold, the threshold of difference varies
depending on the severity of the stimulus. Imagine yourself as an example
of a very dark cinema theatre. If a member of the listeners were to receive a
text message on her mobile phone, which caused her screen to light up,
there are chances that many people will notice the change in the theater
lighting. However, if the same occurrence happened during a soccer game
in a brightly lit stadium, very few people would notice it. The brightness of
the mobile phone does not change, but its ability to be perceived as an
illumination change significantly differs between the two contexts. Ernst
Weber proposed this principle of change in the threshold of difference in the
1830s. It became known as Weber's law: the threshold of difference is a
constant fraction of the original stimulus, as shown by the illustration. It is
the belief that bigger variations need to be observed in greater differences.
CHAPTER TWO
DARK MANIPULATION
The ability to control shadow/darkness. Darkness manipulation is also
known as blackness power, manipulation of blackness, darkness power,
control of darkness components, pyrokinesis, shadow bending. Shadow
power, shadow control of objects, shadow manipulation, shadow material
and kinesis of Umbra. Users can build, form, and manipulate shadows and
darkness. By itself, darkness is mainly used to fog everything into complete
darkness. Still, through acceding to a realm of dark energy, it can be
channeled through a variety of results, both as an absence of light and as a
solid substance: one can also monitor and influence the actual beings,
construct and dispel barriers and areas of total darkness, create buildings
and weapons.
Users can turn their shadows, or others, into living beings. As the rule that
everything that happens to the real body happens to the shadow, this ability
will allow the user to control the shadow and, in fact, cause harm by using it
to strike. It means anything that happens to the shadow is mirrored in the
true body; in short, a form of "reverse" puppetry of shadows. Psychological
manipulation is a kind of social influence aimed at changing other people's
behavior or attitude by indirect, misleading, or underhanded tactics. Such
tactics could be deemed exploitative and devious by promoting the
manipulator's interests, often at the detriment of another.
There's not an inherently negative social impact. For example, people like
friends, family, and doctors may try to persuade people to alter unhelpful
habits and behaviors. In general, social control is viewed as harmless if it
respects the right of the affected individual to accept or reject it, and is not
unduly intrusive. Social influence may constitute underhanded bribery,
depending on the context and motives.
Manipulative Approaches
According to Simon
Simon described psychological tactics such as:
Manipulator Characteristics
The ultimate purpose is to use the power to manipulate the other person.
The cornerstone of a successful relationship is honesty, understanding and
mutual respect. It is true of intimate as well as professional relationships.
Often people try to manipulate certain aspects of a relationship so they can
profit in some way. There can be subtle indicators of emotional abuse. They
are often difficult to recognize, particularly when they do happen to you. It
would be best if you learned to understand and avoid the abuse. Also, you
will learn how to preserve your self-esteem and health.
We will look at common types of emotional abuse, how they can be
understood, and what you can do next.
"I feel like we're connecting at a very deep level. That's never
happened before.'
"I have never had anyone like you share their vision with me.
We are meant to be together in this.
"I asked a request about the project, and she came to me,
shouting how I've never done anything to help her, but you
know I do that.
"I screamed and didn't sleep a bit all night."
"This is going to be way too hard for you. I will just quit now
and save time for myself.
"You have no idea what a nightmare you make for yourself."
"Do you think it is bad? You don't have to pact with a cube-
mate who is chatting the entire time on the phone.
"Thank you for having a child. All my life, I've been lonely.'
"I know that you need me to. That's such a number, and I'm
overwhelmed already.'
"It is more complicated than it does seem. When you asked me,
I don't think you knew that.'
"The wage rises are fantastic, but did you see anyone else
getting a full promotion?
"I am sorry that your grandfather has died. In two weeks, I lost
both of my grandparents, so at least that isn't bad.
"Are you not of the opinion that dress is a little provocative for
a client meeting? That's one way I suppose to get the account.'
"What you do is eat."
"I would be more about that, but I know you're too busy."
"I figured it would be easier to hear that from someone else,
not me, because we're so close."
"I have never said that before. You picture things again.
"I would not be committing to this. You know I'm pretty busy.
"I didn't want to alter anything, but you seemed out of control a
little bit."
You were way too angry.'
"I did not want to alter anything, but you seemed out of control
a little bit."
They leave you questioning your sanity.
Gaslighting is a deceptive technique by which people attempt to make you
think you can't trust your intuition or knowledge any longer.
They make you believe stuff that happened is a figment of your
imagination. You're losing your sense of truth.
Take, for example:
Overcoming Manipulation
Emotional manipulators make you insane because they are so inconsistent
in their actions. Make no mistake about it — their conduct goes against
reason, so why allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get
sucked into the mix?
The more crazy and off-base someone is, the easier it should be for you to
get out of their traps. Avoid beating them at their own game. Distance
yourself emotionally from them, and treat your interactions with them as if
they were a science experiment (or if you prefer the comparison, you are
their shrink). You don't have to respond to the emotional chaos — only the
truth.
Maintaining a distance from the emotions takes sensitivity. If you don't
know when it is happening, you can't stop anyone from pressing your
buttons. You'll find yourself often in circumstances where you need to
regroup and consider the best path forward. That's great, and you shouldn't
be afraid to buy up some time to do that.
Most people feel like they have no way to handle the chaos, whether they
work or live with anyone. That couldn't be any further from the truth. When
you've recognized a manipulator, you'll start finding their actions more
consistent and more understandable. It will allow you to think rationally
about when and where to put up with them, and when and where not. You
can set limits, but you're going to have to do so deliberately and proactively.
If you let things happen naturally, you're likely to be continually involved in
uncomfortable conversations. You can control more of the confusion if you
set limits and determine when and where you'll engage a troublesome
individual. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep the barriers in
place when the person is trying to cross them whatever they want.
Brings yourself up
While typically only adults and mature people go for relationships, some
act as if their partner is a 5-year-old boy. They're using a scheme of
punishments and rewards in raising this "baby." They can also use offensive
and violent jokes, and get shocked when the "kid" partner gets offended at
last. Such actions aim to make you question your strengths and abilities and
realize your reliance on a "smart" manipulator-advisor.
Makes you feel all the guilt for the quarrel he started himself
Without quarreling, there are no partnerships. They say the one who takes
the first move and apologizes is more appreciative of the relationship. There
are, however, various forms of excuses. Manipulators want excuses because
you feel guilty. You won't have enough courage to chat about the past fight,
so you don't want to appear like a drama queen. The scenario will inevitably
begin to happen again and again.
Recognizing circumstances and actions where your needs, protection, and
rights are on a limb is critical.
3. Crazy making – say one thing and then tell you that didn't say it.
If you are in courtship, where you think you can start to keep a record of
what has been said because you are starting to doubt your wellbeing – you
are experiencing emotional abuse. An emotional manipulator is a
professional who can turn things around, rationalize, justify, and explain
things away. They can lie so easily that you can sit down looking black, and
they'll call it white – and argue so persuasively that you're beginning to
doubt your senses. That is so subtle and eroding over some time that it can
alter your sense of truth. WARNING: Exploitation by emotion is risky! It
isn't comforting for an emotional manipulator if you start carrying a pad of
paper and a pen and make notes during conversations. Feel free to let he/she
know you are only feeling so "forgotten" that you want to record their
words for the sake of posterity. The damn thing about this is that having to
do such a thing is a perfect example of why, in the first place, you should
seriously consider removing yourself from control. If you tote a notebook to
cover yourself – the bullshit meter should now be blinking steadily!
Act to succeed.
Work to be different in some way, and never remain the same for too long.
By design, personal growth needs a lack of continuity. It calls for constant
improvement.
5. Stop compromising.
Guilt is an emotion to no use.
But.
It is an effective weapon.
Guilt is one of those weapons that can be used against you by dishonest
people. They will make you feel guilty of past mistakes and slight errors,
making you feel bad for being happy and optimistic.
No one should ever be feeling themselves too good.
PERSUASION VS MANIPULATION
Persuasion , the mechanism by which individuals' attitudes or actions are,
without restriction, affected by other people's communications. Other
variables (verbal intimidation, physical coercion, and physiological states)
often influence one's attitudes and behavior. Not all contact is meant to be
persuasive; other aims are to educate or entertain. Persuasion also includes
manipulating people, and many find the exercise distasteful for this
purpose. Others may argue that human society becomes disordered without
any degree of social interaction and reciprocal agreement, like that achieved
by persuasion. In that way, by considering the alternatives, reasoning
achieves moral acceptability. Winston Churchill's assessment of democracy
as a government system, persuasion is — except for all the others — the
worst means of social regulation.
In the Universities of Europe during the Middle Ages, persuasion (rhetoric)
was one of the fundamental liberal arts that any learned man mastered; from
the days of imperial Rome through the Reformation, preachers who used
the spoken word to encourage any number of acts, such as virtuous conduct
or religious pilgrimages, raised it to a fine art. In the modern age,
persuasion in the form of ads is most evident.
Preliminarily, the persuasion mechanism can be studied by separating
contact (as the cause or stimulus) from the related changes in attitudes (as
the effector response). Analysis has contributed to the delineation of a series
of successive steps an individual is persuaded to undergo. The
correspondence is provided first; the individual pays attention to it and
understands its contents (including the basic conclusion to be urged and
probably also the evidence given in support). To be influenced by
persuasion, the person must yield to the argument being urged, or agree
with it. Unless only the most immediate effect is of concern, it must
maintain this new position long enough to act upon it. The persuasion
method's ultimate aim is to follow the action suggested by the new
attitudinal status for individuals (or a group); for example, a person enlists
in the army or becomes a Buddhist monk or starts to eat a certain type of
cereal for breakfast.
Some scholars emphasize parallels between education and persuasion, but
not by any means everything. They hold that persuasion through insightful
communication closely resembles the teaching of new knowledge. Thus,
because repetition in speech changes learning, they conclude that it also has
a persuasive impact and that verbal learning and conditioning concepts are
commonly and profitably implemented by persuaders (such as in the
judicious repetition of television advertisements, for example). Approach to
learning tends to emphasize message focus, understanding, and retention.
One 's reaction to persuasive communication is partly dependent on the
message, and in no small degree, on how it is received or interpreted. Words
in a newspaper advertisement can exhibit various persuasive qualities if
printed in red rather than black. Perceptual theorists allow persuasion to
alter the perception of any object of its attitudes by the individual.
Perceptual methods often rely on proof that the recipient's preconceptions
are at least as significant as the message's substance when deciding what is
to be understood. The approach emphasizes mindfulness and awareness.
While learning and perceptual theorists may stress the objective intellectual
steps involved in the persuasion process, functional theorists emphasize
more subjective motivation. Human beings are fundamentally ego-
defensive according to this view. That is, human behaviors and beliefs work
to fulfill conscious and unconscious personal needs that may have nothing
to do with the objects to which those attitudes and behavior are guided. For
example, the functional approach may theorize that ethnic discrimination
and other types of social animosity are derived more from the structure of
individual identity than from knowledge about social groups' existence.
Other theories consider the person faced with persuasive communication to
be in the vexing position of seeking a rational balance among several
competing forces — e.g., individual preferences, established attitudes, new
knowledge, and social pressures from outside sources. Those who
emphasize this conflict resolution (often called theoreticians of congruity,
balance, continuity or dissonance) focus on how people weigh these forces
in changing their attitudes. Some thinkers who take this starting point
emphasize persuasion's analytical elements, while others stress emotional
factors.
Principles of Persuasion
Real-life Application:
Ask a visitor for directions. They suggest they can get lost as a
follow-up and ask you to walk them there. You are more likely
to respond to that than to ask the second question straight-off.
You skipped a class and demanded their notes from your
classmate. You eventually admit that you were a tad reckless
this semester and ask for the notes for the semester as a whole.
You improve your odds of getting the big one by first asking
for the small favor-namely, a free-ride on your classmate's
notes.
You just missed a significant midterm, and the instructor is not
offering retakes. You decide to ask your work for input and
why you have struggled, followed by a retake call. In such a
situation, you're more likely to succeed than simply demanding
a retake.
Real-life Application:
Real-life Application:
Real-life Application:
You buy the same labels on and off most of the time. What was
your last attempt on a new snack or drink?
"You can do me a favor? ”Yeah." "Can you get me some beer
out of the store? ”Unlike," Oh, you should, etc.
You have probably heard about how success can be beneficial
in setting targets. The definition is something rarely left out of
a book on self-help. It is successful because of consistency:
you are more mindful that you want and should aim for when
you have written it down.
Let's say you're working at an NGO and collecting money for
some reason. You should ask the person before asking for
donations if they support the cause. If only the cause is, they
will most likely respond positively. First, you're more likely to
receive donations by asking such a question.
Social Proof
Principle: Your friends mostly select this article for argument based advice.
"That is something everybody believes, so it must be real."
Social Evidence is one of the most perceptible methods of persuasion. It
does not take long to note that there is a high degree of group-thinking in
most social groups. Someone proposes an idea, and everyone goes along
with it – even though everyone disagrees. People look at what their peers do
when making a decision and behave similarly.
Real-life Application:
When you have an empty tip jar at work, you may consider
filling it up a little before the shift begins. Customers are likely
to tip if they see a full tip jar instead of an empty one – other
people tip, so I probably should do the same
There's a greater chance you'd like a Facebook post if it already
has lots of likes instead of a zero-likes message.
The reason some people take up smoking is because of social
evidence. Everyone smokes; hence, you can smoke too –
despite all the health concerns and the awful taste that comes
with it.
Authorities
Principle: "Persuasion Experts" and 9 out of 10 Jedi believe this article is
the best source of advice relating to persuasion. In any field or subject,
people look up to authority, so making yourself seem like a source of
authority will take you a long way.
Real-life Application:
HANDLING
There are periods when it feels like time is going slowly, but the reality is
everything is changing. No matter who we are, we'll start noticing the
changes at some point. Most times in life, it seems everything is shifting
faster than we can cope. In certain ways, handling change in our lives can
be simpler when we know the change is right. When the changes are
difficult, challenging, or not the ones we want, we need to learn how to
handle change. There will always be some form of transition in our lives,
and we're much better when it comes to managing change that we know
how to do.
So obviously, we can handle those changes that we look forward to, but
what about managing changes when it's not something that you were
expecting or hoping to see?
Two of these kinds of changes are something that almost everyone faces in
their lives at some point. Let's talk about adjusting handling when those
common occurrences occur.
1. Ask for what it takes you. It's easy to ignore our pain when
we're suffering, or try to shield ourselves and the people around
us by shutting off. Achieving close links means being willing
to speak up when we need to. Admitting that we need someone
to rely on or that we are struggling or need support makes our
loved ones feel for us and react to us in ways that bring us
closer together.
2. Be able to have your feelings revealed. Sometimes we even
have a fear of revealing our feelings to ourselves. Yet knowing
and acknowledging our feelings is an important part of being in
contact with us and connecting with others. A large part of
strengthening our connections is a willingness to share how
you feel with someone else.
3. Say what you want. As a therapist, I sat in a room with so
many couples who are very good at telling their partner exactly
what they don't like and don't want. It results in many tits for
tat and back and forth that doesn't get them anywhere. Instead
of blaming and moaning on each other, I urge couples to tell
their partner what they want. It is usually much more difficult
for partners to do. They sometimes feel insecure about opening
up and becoming vulnerable as they take a chance to try to get
in touch with what they want to say what they want. Their
voices and their features are deeper. Sometimes their partner no
longer feels on the defensive, and the vocabulary of their body
changes, shifting to their partner and caring for the other
person. It is inspiring to see people feel the bond with each
other when they are confident enough to be open and say what
they want directly.
4. Say what you think. Besides voicing our desires and needs,
it's necessary to be truthful about our perspective and present
our selves. Our partnership should be a place where we don't
have to fear saying what we think. It is not to be disrespectful
or unnecessarily hurtful but to deliver an honest exchange.
Without being too defensive, we should be open to giving and
receiving input. Recalling that we are all imperfect, and thus
defective, will allow us to have more self-compassion and
concern as we participate in more truthful communication.
5. Slow down, and be in there. Part of the weakness is being
able to be with someone else at the moment. Listening to our
vital voice inside, or spending a lot of time in our heads, we
may lose intimacy. Looking at our partner in the eye, listening
to what they have to say, and being able to devote time and
energy to the moment are always more complicated acts of
openness than we can imagine. But being involved in one of
these activities brings us closer to each other and our feelings.
It is amazing how fragile being nervous can make us. Many of us have
profound interpersonal fears, even implicit ones. There are real sadness and
fear around allowing someone else to know us and to feel emotionally
connected to that person. Both intimacy and vulnerability force us to
abandon an old, familiar identity and create a new self-conception in which
we assume we will be embraced for who we are. However, staying insecure
allows us to acknowledge our worth continuously as a special and
autonomous human being, thus giving us the confidence to expose
ourselves in ways that will reinforce our ties.
Nonverbal communication skills: Examples and concepts to develop
personal and professional relationships make it important to have good
communication skills. Two forms of contact predominate: verbal and
nonverbal. Although most of us are constantly aware of and use verbal
communication, nonverbal communication is typically not deliberate. Still,
it does give us a lot of knowledge about people and circumstances.
We'll explore what nonverbal communication is, why it's relevant, how to
read it, and how you can develop your body language in this guide.
2. Start an avalanche
Creating an active marketing campaign is just like getting an avalanche
underway.
You climb the mountain first, and when you reach the largest boulder at the
top, and then you sweat and cough and struggle to get over the boulder, and
then you sit down and watch happily as the boulder falls into other rocks,
finally taking down the entire side of the mountain.
The lesson?
The first major yes is a pain in the ass to get, but it's easy to get all the
subsequent yeses if you get it from the right person.
Isolation
Physical isolation can be very effective, but manipulators usually try to
isolate you psychologically even though physical isolation is difficult or not
realistic. It can be done in various ways, from the country's one-week
seminars to insulting the family and friend circle. The ultimate purpose is to
restrict any other power by regulating the information flow.
Criticism
Criticism can be used as an instrument of isolation. Typically the
manipulators would speak in terms of "us versus them," condemn the
outside world and assert dominance for themselves. They say you've got to
feel fortunate to be associated with them.
Fear of alienation
Newcomers to deceptive communities will typically receive a warm
welcome and develop a series of new friendships that seem to be much
deeper and more meaningful than anything they've ever had. These
relationships would later become a powerful weapon to keep them in the
community if any questions arise. Even if they aren't fully persuaded, outer
world life can seem rather lonely.
Repetition
Constant repetition is also another effective instrument of persuasion. While
it may sound too straightforward to be successful, repeating the same
message over and over again makes it more familiar and easier to
remember. As repetition and social evidence are combined, it delivers the
message without fail.
The presence of affirmations (as a tool for self-improvement) is another
evidence that repetition works. If you can convince yourself by repetition,
the chances are that someone can try to use repetition to manipulate you in
some way into thinking and acting.
Fatigue
Exhaustion and the lack of sleep contribute to physical and emotional
exhaustion. You are more prone to persuasion when you are mentally
exhausted and less alert. The research reported in the Journal of
Experimental Psychology shows that people who had not slept for only 21
hours were more likely to be suggestive.
The Dark-Side:
What does the man who kicks the dog possess when he is irritated by a
society that worries about his life? At that moment, when the dog cries and
howls in pain and terror, what emotions does he release? Why is he
laughing and wishing the dog some harm and loving an animal's sight in
pain? On-lookers are appalled by his actions and compassion for the
defenseless dog; this man has been attempting to handle cruelly and without
empathy. Who is that guy? Why now and then he's one of us. We all lose
our sense of internal equilibrium and rational thinking as we discuss the
injustice or lack of opportunities in life. In the other side-wait-for this man
to be rich, to have satisfied all his needs, and he still takes great joy in
kicking and watching the dog suffer at his hands. A sense of superiority in
his ability to cause suffering and the satisfaction of feeling superior to those
lower-minded individuals he sees as unable to do what they want and
therefore end up with his workers and servants. This superior situational
mentality leads to a lack of sympathy or empathy for others as just fools
embracing their superiority as leaders and legislators.
The above example is also to offer an insight into conduct that violates our
three indicators of social norms, law (hurting a defenseless animal), moral
behavior (the ban on senseless actions seen as wrong-doing), socially
acceptable behavior, (while all of lose their temper and kick their dog, most
will feel pains of guilt and remorse) Yet here we meet people who feel no
shame, no regret and see themselves as excluded from the laws with which
they disagree.
In England, was fox-hunting a cruel sport done mainly by educated,
experienced, wealthy men and women? Yet these same people demanded
the right to kill and destroy a defenseless animal when they saw their
hounds break apart and devour a fox for nothing more than a good time.
While most English people voted to ban this sport on several occasions, it
took many years of lobbying to put it into law. Fox-hunting is now an
unlawful practice, but these same people are still flouting the law and
hunting under local by-laws that still have to comply with national
legislation. As described by public opinion, these people know what they do
is illegal, unethical, and against social norms. And they claim to be superior
members of society, and therefore above the common masses' day-to-day
moral concerns. The shocking thing is that in England, these people are
members of parliament, police, judges, and others who regulate facets of
England's society such as property owners (land sometimes granted in the
past by Royal consent through stealing the rightful land of the poor). In
other words, the people who should set an example to society are the very
people who flaunt the law and behavior, which is socially acceptable.
We have to look at the suspect in yet another case. Criminals are also seen
as society's rejections as they came from dysfunctional backgrounds,
deprived communities, and inadequate parental upbringing. But the greatest
damage done to the public in society is also caused by corporate crime,
such as the embezzlement of pension funds, insider trading of stocks and
bonds, and corruption of money and resources by CEOs and government
officials. Sometimes this so-called white-collar crime is undetected and the
most difficult to bring to justice. Everyday offenders are more visible to the
public because their actions cause regional misery and make the media
scream for action by police and civil authorities. Hence, most laws apply to
visual crime, which is easy to interpret and comprehend. Punishment of
visual abuse in our courts and media is also straight forward and deals with
every day. How can we distinguish the two groups of offenders? The so-
called victimless crime of white-collar criminals who don't see a direct
victim or the killer who murders and maims those who challenge his desire
to take from society what they desire and the suffering they leave behind?
What does psychology have to say about the deviants who don't see their
acts as a concern for themselves and see those who don't take care of their
lives as weak and deserve to be victims of those who are smarter, stronger,
or more powerful? The media often cries out about the passive masses who
embrace the status quo and, in the same paper, will denounce the local
individual who took the law into their own hands, maybe to avenge any
injustice against them or their family? The first place that psychology
reveals the causes for other people's dark actions is "developmental" the
childhood is on the course of this action, that the dog kicker has not been
treated or cared for in the right way. Suppose they had been subjected to
violence, sexual exploitation, or lack of social education during their
formative years. Perhaps the same transgressors were victims of bullying at
school and would thus carry out their anger on others who are weaker than
themselves in society. The question we have to ask here is why certain
victims, in fact, most of them, appear to be law-abiding people, and it is just
the few who become the monsters that murder and mutilate for
developmental error reasons? Many scientists want to point to a genetic
element in conduct at this stage.
Has been around this old chestnut for some time now. Violent offenders
have proof that they also have an extra Y chromosome (men) that gives
them a high level of testosterone that contributes to violent outbursts into
stressful circumstances where they use anxiety and intimidation as the key
to having what they need. However, this is statistically minute as a
proportion of violent offenders even though this could be higher than the
general prison population. All genetic study to date has led to genetic
factors being hypothesized but with no concrete evidence to back up the
arguments. The most widely cited evidence is that there are high incidences
of identical behavior and findings from twin research, where twins split at
birth. Again, as a percentage of twins born and studied, this evidence is
poor for genetic determinism and strong for identical developmental
environments and twins experiencing conditions that are so accommodating
that if they turn out differently from each other, it is more likely to be a
surprise. So, if we exclude developmental effects, genetic predispositions,
what makes some people exhibit socially appropriate habits, and some who
meet all society's demands? It is, therefore, the propositional position that
makes it impossible for psychology to always see the world as a positive
view or a deterministic way, and that it is maybe in the fact that natural
conduct among humans under a variety of circumstances is to be cruel,
deceitful, and aggressive and inclined towards criminal activity. Such
values are a privilege of a stable society in which all are equal economically
and in caste or class.
The Psychology of the Survivalist: Specifically, in the West, some see the
destruction of humanity as a possible possibility if they support nuclear
annihilation (now more likely bio-warfare) or the collapse of capitalism,
leading to societal instability and civil conflict. These individuals are also
called survivalists. They store guns against the unruly crowds that would
swarm the country to the risk of economic meltdown shortages in a civil
breakdown and food. (Seeing many survivalists in the US in 2009 would
say they have a legitimate case). In the case of social collapse and lack of
security rules, the survivalists claim they have a natural right to defend
themselves and their families. These groups sometimes disagree with
current legal laws that are implemented by federal agencies such as the FBI.
Therefore, while on the one side, the mindset of the survivalist conflicts
with society, on the other, it is seen as a sincere effort to manage one's
destiny against possible disasters. After all, insurance firms exist based on
the assumption alone; unfortunately, it will be the first to struggle to survive
an economic collapse in capitalism, as shown by many banks' failure
around the world in 2008/9. The most famous films in the box office today
are disaster films, those where earthquakes, sun-flares, bio-warfare, alien
invasion, and other catastrophes cause the societal collapse of society.
These film heroes are often the resourceful survivalists who defend their kin
from all-comers by violence. Why are these people appealing to the media
as heroes, and yet the actual survivalists are vilified as the status quo's
public enemies? Judging by the popularity of these films, ordinary people
agree that civilization's collapse can happen or is inevitable in reality. So,
they look to these films as a kind of hope for a new future that might come
about by destroying their daily existence.
Psychology as Evolution: All people began as survivalists in human
history as hunter-gatherers wandering the land, searching easily accessible
animals for food and warmth. As time passes, we see these communities
settling into agro-cultural settlements that establish rules, regulations,
leaders, and moral codes. As these settled societies evolve and expand, they
create art, music, and religion to make up for a limited life within the
constrictions of the very society they created. Land and property get
important from these beginnings. Possession of goods and chattels is
indispensable for development. As time goes by, these settlements become
villages, cities, and towns that ultimately create boundary-forming
countries. Survival now becomes the group and not the entity as was from
the beginning of time the instincts of humans. But all those communities
slowly break away and crumble away. And for unexplained reasons like the
Mayan and other civilizations in South America. Most fail as they develop
into empires with a version of their laws and religions which dominate the
poor. However, one thing history tells us all is that communities can
collapse for all kinds of reasons. (Ancient Greek, Roman, Egyptian and
British, French, German, and Japanese Empires in the Modern World). All
these cultures had one thing in common, which they did not predict their
downfall. In today's world, a European and an American could not imagine
the collapse of the EEC or the United States. Still, these new capitalist
empires have their own Achilles heel, "Capitalism." While Karl Marx saw
the dangers of capitalism and its ultimate collapse, he could not have seen
how it would consume the modern world to such a point that wars over oil
and gas would dominate the 21st century. But Marx would also laugh
gleefully at the 2009 collapse of the greed and debt-based banking
structures across the planet's First Nations. Most of the disappointments
may be attributed to mismanagement, but in reality, it was a loss of faith by
ordinary citizens in the financial system that triggered a rush on funds and a
lack of capacity to handle debilitating debt through high-interest rates and
poor return on investment. When people panic, they go into the mode of
survival-first they fear for themselves.
Dark Traits
Ethically, morally and socially dubious conduct is part of daily life, and it is
easy to find examples of cruel, greedy, unscrupulous, or even outright evil
actions through history and cultures. Psychologists use the umbrella term
"black characteristics" to subsume attributes of personality correlated with
these pathological classes — most notably, Machiavellianism, Narcissism,
and Psychopathy. Over the years, increasingly distinct and increasingly
narrow dark characteristics have been added, resulting in many buildings
lacking theoretical integration.
We define the basic concepts underlying all dark traits by proposing D —
the Dark Component of Personality — and thus provide a unifying,
systematic theoretical structure for understanding the dark personality.
Compared with the general (g) intelligence element, D represents the one
basic universal dispositional tendency from which particular dark traits
emerge as manifestations. Thus all the commonalities between different
dark traits can be traced back to D, so D is the common core of all dark
traits.
The content of D
Individuals with high D levels would usually seek to maximize their
usefulness at others' utility. The utility is understood in terms of the
magnitude of the target achievement, which involves various (more or less)
measurable benefits such as enthusiasm, joy, wealth, satisfaction, strength,
prestige, and overall psychological need fulfillment. Thus, high-in-D
individuals may follow activities that individually profit at the detriment of
others, and eventually even gain immediate usefulness (e.g., pleasure) from
other people's disutility (e.g., pain). Vice versa, people high in D, usually
will not be driven to encourage others' use (e.g., supporting someone) and
will not gain usefulness from others' usefulness (e.g., being happy for
someone).
Those with high D levels will also hold values that help justify their
behavior (for example, maintaining a positive self-image despite evil
behavior). Several views may serve as a justification, including that high-D
individuals regard themselves (or their group) as superior, see others (or
other groups) as inferior, support philosophies that promote superiority,
adopt a pessimistic view of the world, see the world as a competitive jungle,
etc.
Machiavellianism
In psychology, Machiavellianism refers to a personality trait that sees a
person so focused on their interests that they will manipulate, deceive and
exploit others to achieve their goals.
One of the characteristics of the 'Dark Triad' is Machiavellianism, the other
two being narcissism and psychopathy.
The word itself stems from a reference to Niccolò Machiavelli, a
Renaissance diplomat, and philosopher whose most famous work became
'The Prince' (Il Principe). This infamous book supported his views that
powerful rulers of their subjects and enemies should be ruthless. That glory
and survival justified every means, even those deemed unethical and brutal.
"Machiavellianism" became a common term by the late 16th century to
describe the practice of being dishonest to get ahead.
But until the 1970s, when two social psychologists, Richard Christie and
Florence L. Geis, created what they called the "Machiavellianism Scale,"
this was not a psychological concept. A personality inventory is still used as
Machiavellianism's main evaluation tool; this measure is now called 'the
Mach-IV test.'
Machiavellianism was found to be more prevalent in males than in females.
However, it can happen in anyone-even infants.
Signs of Machiavellianism
Someone with the Machiavellian characteristic would appear to have all of
the traits that follow:
Narcissism
In our self-obsessed, celebrity-driven society, the word narcissism gets
thrown around a lot, mostly to describe someone who appears too arrogant
or full of himself. But narcissism doesn't mean self-love in psychological
terms — at least not of a sincere nature. To say that someone with
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is in love with an idealized,
grandiose self-image is truer. And they are in love with the exaggerated
self-image precisely because it helps them escape deep vulnerability
feelings. But it takes a lot of effort to shore up their fantasies of grandeur —
and that's where the unhealthy attitudes and actions come in.
Narcissistic personality disorder includes a self-centered pattern, selfish
thought and behavior, a lack of empathy and concern towards others, and an
overwhelming admiration desire. Others also describe the NPD as cocky,
arrogant, greedy, patronizing, and demanding. In every aspect of the
narcissist's life, this way of thinking and acting surfaces: from work and
friendships to family relationships and love connections.
People with narcissistic personality disorder are highly stubborn even
though it causes them problems to change their behavior. Their propensity
is to turn the blame on to others. What's more, they're highly sensitive, and
they respond badly to even the slightest criticism, disagreement, or
perceived slights they see as a personal attack. It's always easier for the
people in the narcissist's life to go along with their requests to escape the
coldness and rages. However, you will identify the narcissists in your life
through learning more about the narcissistic personality disorder, shielding
yourself from their power plays, and setting healthy limits.
Sense of entitlement
Narcissists expect preferential treatment as their due since they consider
themselves unique. They genuinely believe they should be getting whatever
they want. They also expect the people around them to honor their every
wish and desire automatically. That is just their meaning. If you don't
predict their every need and fulfill them, then you're useless. And if you
have the nerve to question their will or ask for something "selfishly" in
exchange, brace yourself for violence, anger, or cold shoulder.
Prove yourself
Many people want to seduce. If they reject your efforts, it's because you
haven't gone far enough to remove their doubts — about your motivations,
the strength of your emotions, etc. A timely action demonstrating how
much you are willing to win them over would dissipate their suspicions. Do
not worry about appearing stupid or making a mistake — any act that is
self-sacrificing and will overtake their emotions for the sake of your
ambitions; they will not consider anything else.
Effect a regression
People who have encountered enjoyment in the past will seek to replicate it
or relive it. The deepest-rooted and most pleasurable commemorations are
usually early childhood memories, often associated unconsciously with
parental figures. Bring the goal back to that point by placing yourself in the
Oedipus triangle and putting them vulnerable. Unconscious of the cause of
their emotional reaction, they will fall in love with you.
Stir up the transgresses and taboo
What one can do still have social limitations. Several of these, the most
basic taboos, go back centuries; some are more simplistic, describing
reasonable, polite behavior. It's incredibly seductive to make your targets
feel like you are taking them beyond any form of limit. People are excited
to discover the dark side. When the urge to cheat attracts your goal to you,
they'll find it difficult to avoid. Take them further than they could imagine
— the common sense of remorse and responsibility creates a strong bond.
Only imagine:
You’re on the beach, and you see a sandcastle. All of a sudden, a nasty
teenager appears and stamps on it.
What an a-hole.
But how poor do you think his behavior, on a scale of 0 to 100?
The score you send him may be very poor.
Who is it that cares? But imagine you have spent the whole day with your
girlfriend creating a sand sculpture!
You filled the masterpiece with all your passion! And then the same
teenager tears it to bits ... right before your very eyes ...
2) Understand
It all has to do with the word "why." Why do you feel this way? Don't
inquire rhetorically, in a judgmental tone. Be a scientist on genuine and
curious feeling.
Why that sentiment? Now, why? What triggers it? What happened before
they did it? What events, connections or memories could cause this
sensation?
You may not have a huge epiphany, but this is the first step toward self-
comprehension. Only a tiny data point, but you're going to start seeing
associations and trends over time. You will begin to make predictions of the
emotions more accurate. Effectively you'll be able to prepare: stop, cope, or
ask for support.
It's disappointingly easy but keeps on doing this, and you're on the road to
self-authorship.
Failed to play detective? Nice. Nice. Now we're going to be zero in, and
we're starting to develop those EI skills ...
3) Label
Matthew Lieberman's neuroscience studies at UCLA have demonstrated
labeling's tremendous ability to help us regulate and dampen strong
emotions. When we put feelings in words, we get our "think brain"
(prefrontal cortex) on the case, and we put the brakes on our "wet yourself
in fear and punch brain people" (amygdala). I just gave it a name to tame it.
4) Express
No, I'm not asking you to run around "venting." Don't go out at work or
home with all the anger grenade saying the blogger-man permitted you to
act on any impulse. No, most definitely, the blogger-man did not.
But you don't want to wipe away all those emotions, either. "Surface-
acting" is taking their toll. It's associated with burnout, lower work
satisfaction, and anxiety and depression have increased.
5) Regulate
We all can control our emotions. Babies suck thumbs. (No, I do not suggest
that during working sessions.) What techniques do experts recommend?
6) Positive Self-Talk
Yeah, you've seen it before. Here's the latest twist, neuroscience courtesy:
always perform constructive self-talk in the third person.
7) Reframing
Deliberately prefer to look at it in a way that produces less negative feelings
and believes positive thoughts are with others.
8) The Pause
Keep on when you sense a growing negative feeling. Take nothing. Grab a
deep breath. Pausing helps you refrain from making a final, immediate
emotion dependent decision. Then ask one question about yourself:
"What my True Self will do next?
Take one more deep breath. And then be the best you can be.
Raising awareness
Public education programs are an effective preventive aspect of violence.
An increased understanding of the issue helps people who have witnessed
violence seek support while fostering a sense of responsibility in society.
CONCLUSION
Scientific research is used by psychologists to understand better how people
think, perceive experiences, and make decisions. They then transform the
information into strategies to help people make their everyday lives smarter
choices.
Based on an in-depth understanding of how lifestyles are influenced by
biology-related causes, mental processes, and social relationships and
experiences, psychologists recognize and help people resolve the barriers
that keep them from making healthier decisions, from exercising more or
functioning more effectively to using technology safely. Psychologists use
psychological science to maximize their ability and help them perform at
the highest possible level. Comprehending the psychology behind the way
we tick might make us tick even better.
Dark psychology has been around for some time, and people used it to get
what they want on other people. In this book, the techniques of coercion,
mind control, and persuasion, and how to resolve susceptibility to these
practices are explained. It's also important that you understand the strategies
and methods, so you don't have to fall prey to it. Take control of your
emotions and mind, or manipulators will come knocking at your door.