DARK

PSYCHOLOGY
AND
MANIPULATION
The Best Mind Control and Persuasion Techniques, Learn to Recognize
Body Language, and Use the Secrets of Emotional Intelligence to Your
Advantage

By
ASHLEY HARRISON
Psychology and Self-Help Academy
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 TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
DARK PSYCHOLOGY
The Psychological Influence and Effects.
The Pygmalion Effect – Greater Expectations Drive Higher
Performance.
What Helps People in Psychology?
The Psychological Sub-disciplines
How Sensitive are We to Dark Psychology?
DARK MANIPULATION
Manipulative Approaches
Ordinary versus Global Manipulation
BASICS OF SECRET EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION
Overcoming Manipulation
PERSUASION VS MANIPULATION
Principles of Persuasion
HANDLING
Factors that make you vulnerable to handling
What is nonverbal communication?
How to Read Body Language?
BRAINWASHING AND MIND CONTROL
The Best Mind Control and Persuasion Techniques
THE DARKNESS OF DARK PSYCHOLOGY
SEDUCTION AND DARK PSYCHOLOGY
Seduction with the Use of Dark Psychology
Techniques to Make Seduction Work
Emotional Intelligence secrets to your benefit
CONCLUSION
 INTRODUCTION
Not everybody is born into being world-bending persuaders and
influencers, but that's not the worst thing. Most of us don't aspire, nor do we
need to be Winston Churchill. But that doesn't mean we can't pick up skills
along the way that can get us where we want to be, and with the people
around us, achieve the results we want.
Every single charismatic influencer you feel compelled to follow-they were
developed in the sense that they were highly skilled in leading and
persuading others to obey. The world has very little connection to what we
were trained for by our formal schooling. You can study geometry or the
capitals of nations, but when can learning such things in your adult life
bring you where you want to be? Learning how to communicate effectively
with people will give you trust and respect, which will make a positive
difference in your everyday life. If you are ever in a point of influence,
dealing effectively with those under you would be paramount in retaining
that role.
What kind of friend are you if you don't feel like your friends can trust you
and can't convince them of anything? You're going to be a pushover and a
doormat that nobody listens to. Others aren't going to be confident you
believe what you're doing, and it's an uncomfortable sensation. The
persuasion and power are not all about pushing the corporate ladder
upwards. Being a competent persuader will affect how much desire you
have for members of the opposite sex, the price you pay for stuff, how close
your family is, and, yes, your access to better jobs and opportunities. It also
affects how others view you. Many people float on cruise control through
their days, seldom worrying about disrupting their routine or striving for
more. Deep down, most people are in search of people to follow and take
signals from. If you are confident, people would feel obligated to follow
you. This book will teach you the strategies on how to be very successful in
persuading people and also how to read body language in detail.
You'll also understand mind control and more about dark manipulation in
this book. It is true in today's world and is happening around us everywhere.
Understanding dark psychology in our lives is an essential process; we all
need to understand its trait and its effects. Now we're going to go through
the book's key objective, all about dark psychology.
 CHAPTER ONE

DARK PSYCHOLOGY
Every day, people around us use the Dark Psychology techniques to exploit,
coerce, and intimidate us to get what they want. Can you use these?
Dark Psychology is deceptive art and science, and mind control. Although
Psychology is the study of human nature and is fundamental to our feelings,
behaviors, and experiences, the term Dark Psychology is the process in
which people use techniques of motivation, persuasion, deception, and
intimidation to get what they want. Although some people who use theses
know what they do and are bent on exploiting you to get what they want,
some are using dark and immoral methods without fully aware of it. All of
these people learned techniques from their parents during their childhood.
Others learned the techniques by happenstance in their teenage years or
adulthood. They unwittingly used a manipulative tactic, and it succeeded.
They did get what they wanted. And they keep using strategies to help them
get their way.
People are trained in some situations to use such techniques. Usually, sales
or marketing programs are training programs that teach grim, unethical
psychological, and persuasion techniques. Many of these services use dark
strategies to build a brand or to sell a product purely to support themselves
or their company, not the consumer. Many of these training programs
persuade people that such tactics are good and are in the buyer's interest.
And of course, when they buy the product or service, their lives would be
much easier.

The Psychological Influence and Effects.

Many experiments and a lot of research have been done into how and why
our daily behavior and experiences are behind. The findings are plain to
see. If you are in pursuit of a way to overcharge your personal growth, an
important first step is recognizing our behavior's psychology.
Luckily the knowledge is half the fight. You will see the psychological
advantages start to take shape as you consider all the different ways our
minds construct expectations, evaluate decisions, and function
subconsciously. It is like a backstage pass to the way we're operating, and
backstage; you get an even deeper understanding of what it takes for
success.
The following 6 psychology facts can be interpreted as a self-improvement
guide for a hacker, based on default brain settings. Yeah, that's what this is –
your backstage passes as to how our brain works and how we can better
prevent common misunderstandings.
Don't think about slipping and tripping in front of your boyfriend; doing so
would make him more like you. Go ahead and confess your flaws to your
friends; your humanity will endear them.
As a result of the Pratfall Effect, these errors cause charm: Those who never
make errors are viewed as less likable than those who commit the
occasional faux pas. Messing up draws you closer to people, makes you
more human. Perfection produces an unattractive aura of invincibility and
space. All of us who have mistakes still win out.

The Pygmalion Effect – Greater Expectations Drive Higher

Performance.
The crux of this psychological phenomenon is the idea of a self-fulfilling
prophecy: it will inevitably be that you assume that something is true of
yourself.
The first Pygmalion Impact test was conducted by psychologist Robert
Rosenthal and occurred with first and second-grade students in an
elementary school classroom. All the students took an evaluation test at the
beginning of the year, and Rosenthal led the teachers to believe that certain
students were capable of great academic achievement. Rosenthal picked
these students at random, unaware of the actual IQ test results.
When the students were retested at the end of the year, the high achiever's
group did indeed display their peers' progress. What was it for? Later
experiments concluded that the special category was subconsciously
provided by the teacher’s greater resources, attention, and input.
The Bystander Impact-The more people who see someone in distress,
the less likely they are to offer assistance.
Good Samaritan's Parable clearly shows this effect as do a lot of horrific
happenings in history. Researchers term it a "confusion of accountability,"
where when others are present, individuals feel less responsible for a case's
results. In reality, the likelihood of support relates inversely to the number
of people present. If you are ever going to need support, don't go in a crowd
looking for it.
In research by social psychologists Bibb Latane and John Darley, the
Bystander Effect was demonstrated. They were watching students react to a
fellow student's alleged choking in a nearby cubicle. When the test subjects
thought they were the only other person there, 85% rushed to assist. When
the student thought another person was there, 65 percent supported. The
percentage fell to 31 percent when the student thought there were four other
people.
In a school group project, you may have witnessed the Bystander Effect.
Sometimes there is one community member who puts off deadlines and
tasks due to diffuse responsibility: they believe that someone else will pick
up the slack.
Specifically, when you need assistance. Ask someone by name for help to
get out of the pressure of accountability. It is particularly counterintuitive as
we instinctively believe that asking a wider community to support us will
inspire more people to join in when the reverse is the case. Only pick one
person each time to prevent annoyance.

The Spotlight Effect – You don't remember your errors as much as you
think
The sense of our being under constant scrutiny is in our minds alone, and
the fear and self-doubt we experience every time we make a mistake is not
a representation of reality. According to the Spotlight Effect, people don't
pay attention to our moments of disappointment as much as we think.
At Cornell, a team of psychologists asked a group of test subjects to wear
an embarrassing T-shirt (with an image of Barry Manilow's face) to
measure the Spotlight Effect and guess how many other people had seen
what they were wearing. The figures were twice as high as the real number
of the test subjects.
You are less often brought under the spotlight than you think. Recognizing
this can lead to improved comfort and relaxation in public environments
and greater freedom. More so, you can rest assured when you make a
mistake knowing the effect is far less than you thought. You can't get rid of
the shame you feel when you're committing a faux pas, but it lets you know
how much you're exaggerating its effect.

The Focusing Effect – People emphasize one aspect of an incident too

much and fail to consider other factors

"Nothing in life is as essential as you think it is, as you think it is" – Daniel
Kahneman

How big is the difference in mood between someone earning a high income
and earning a lower income? The gap does exist, but it's less than one-third
of what most people expect. It shows the Concentrating Effect; in the case
of income, the income factor related to mood overshadows the myriad other
playing circumstances.
What makes a Californian happier than a Midwesterner? When
psychologists asked people of both areas this question, each group
responded that the Californians had to be considerably happier. The reality
is there was no difference between the Californians and Midwesterners' real
happiness level. Respondents centered on California's sunny weather and
easy-going lifestyle as the leading factors in happiness while there are, in
fact, many other, less-known facets of happiness that Midwesterners enjoy:
low crime, earthquake safety, etc.
Marketers use Focusing Effect (also called Focusing Illusion) on customers
by persuading them of a product or service's required features. Politicians,
too, use concentrating on overemphasizing the importance of specific
problems.
To combat this effect, maintaining perspective, looking at issues from
several angles, and weighing multiple factors before making a decision is
necessary. The Concentrating Effect's drawback is that it can lead to errors
in estimating future results. You will increase the chances of making a
rational decision if you can stop tunnel vision (or at least admit it can exist).
Psychology is an empirical study of mental mechanisms and human
behavior. It has existed since the ancient Egyptian and Greek civilizations,
mainly as a branch of philosophy, but broke out as an independent branch
of scientific study in the 1870s. The results of psychological experiments
are more important and valued than any previous time, and top researchers
are still uncovering new findings and applications for psychology.
Consider, for example, the initial response of early 20th century
psychological and medical practitioners to World War I veterans. An initial
hypothesis written by physicist Charles Myers in 1915 posited soldiers
suffered "shell shock" due to exposure to frequent concussive explosions,
which resulted in brain damage. When this hypothesis was disproved, the
conventional opinion at the time was that the people suffering from "shell
shock" were either frail or cowardly, even though some figures claim that
about 20 percent of the surviving veterans of the First World War acquired
the disease. Modern psychologists almost universally accept that shell
shock was simply what we generally call today a post-traumatic stress
disorder (PTSD)1.
Many of the primary modern psychology applications revolve around
protecting people from emotional and physical damage while providing
them with the mental capacity required to cope with the psychological
perils that many people face every day. Issues such as relationships,
workplace tension, and financial problems may all be caused by
psychological symptoms that involve intervention and management, where
modern psychology comes into play and why it is so relevant.
Despite the popular image of the media-popularized private practice
therapist, psychology practitioners do have access to a wide variety of
industries and fields, from education and criminal justice to marketing and
politics.

What Helps People in Psychology?

Psychology essentially helps people largely because it can explain why
people are acting the way they do. A counselor can help people develop
their decision-making, stress management, and actions based on knowing
past conduct to better predict future actions with this kind of clinical
perspective. All of this will help people have a more fulfilling career,
stronger relationships, greater self-confidence, and improved
communication overall.

The Psychological Sub-disciplines

Psychologically, psychology is so widespread today that different
subdisciplines or divisions of psychology are widely recognized and often
leveraged in various industries. Some subdisciplines in psychology include:

Family psychology – Family counseling, also known as family

therapy, focuses on the interpersonal social structures.
Sports - Sports psychology focuses on how psychological
factors can influence the performance of an athlete.
Business – Organizational psychology focuses on the
productivity of a company or corporation by studying
individuals and their workplace behavior.
Media – Media psychology focuses on the dynamic media
relationship and its impact on human behavior.
Forensic – Forensic psychology is the discipline of examining
people involved in the legal system, such as expert witnesses or
people under investigation.

Careers of Modern Psychology

A psychology career could take multiple trajectories. For example, a typical
job in psychology might be fully studied and non-public facing. It could be
a family psychologist who deals with people of all ages every day. Here are
some of the popular careers people enjoy after receiving their psychology
science bachelor's degree.
Professors – A career as a psychology professor can be rewarding for two
reasons: First, by attending conferences and working on new research,
professors are always at the forefront of new developments made in this
field. Second, professors of psychology also cite the pleasure of developing
young, curious minds as one of the most rewarding aspects.
Working in Hospitals – Licensed psychologists also work in hospitals or
clinics to use their skills to support people who suffer any form of
psychological trauma. It could be in a kid's hospital, a rehabilitation center,
or any healthcare facilities.
Government Agencies - All kinds of government departments hire service
agencies-psychologists. Some of the top clinical positions in government
include correctional counselors, military psychologists, criminal profilers,
and veteran counselors.
Working in Schools – Psychologists often work in schools where their
experience may support students with mental, behavioral, or cognitive
problems that may affect their education. School psychology positions may
be in primary, secondary, or even college campuses.
Company – Large companies also work with counselors to better
understand aspects like their clientele' behaviors and preferences.
Businesses also should tap into the psychology of industrial enterprises to
improve efficiency by enhancing the organization and layout of the
workplace while also optimizing the training and screening processes for
workers.

How Sensitive are We to Dark Psychology?

Sensation and perception are two very closely connected, different
processes. The sensation is feedback from our sensory receptors about the
physical world, and perception is how the brain selects, organizes, and
interprets these sensations. Senses are the neural basis for perception. The
perception of the same senses can vary from person to person because the
brain of each individual interprets stimuli differently depending on the
learning, memory, emotions, and desires of that individual.

Sensation
What does it mean to feel something? Sensory receptors are neurons that
are specialized in responding to particular stimuli. This phenomenon has
arisen when a sensory receptor senses sensory input. For example, the light
that reaches the eye causes the cells that line the eye's back to make
chemical changes. These cells relay signals to the central nervous system in
the form of motivation for action (as you learned while researching
biopsychology). The conversion from the energy of sensory input into the
potential for action is called transduction.
Since primary school, you probably knew we have five senses: vision,
hearing (audition), smell (olfaction), taste (tasting), and touch
(somatosensation). It turns out that they oversimplify this notion of five
senses. We also have sensory systems that provide information on balance
(vestibular sense), location and motion of the body (proprioception and
kinesthesia), pain (nociception), and temperature (thermoception). One may
express the sensitivity of a given sensory system to the relevant stimuli as
an absolute threshold. The absolute threshold denotes the minimum amount
of stimulus energy needed to detect the stimulus 50 percent. Another way to
go about this is how dark light can be, or how soft a sound can be and yet
be heard halfway through the time. Our sensory receptor sensitivity can be
very impressive. It has been calculated that the most alert sensory cells in
the back of the eye can sense a candle flame 30 miles away on a clear night.
We can get signals delivered to conscious consciousness below the
threshold — these are called subliminal signals. When it is powerful
enough to excite sensory receptors and transmit nerve impulses to the brain,
a stimulus hits a physiological level: that is, an absolute level. A message is
said to be subliminal below the threshold: we are getting it, but we are not
consciously aware of it. Therefore, the message is detected, but it was not
selected for processing in working or short-term memory. There is much
debate about using subliminal messages in ads, rock music, and self-help
programs for ages. Research evidence suggests that people can process
information outside of consciousness and react to it in laboratory settings.
But that doesn't mean we follow these signals like zombies; in fact, secret
signals do not affect the laboratory behavior.
Absolute thresholds are usually calculated in the circumstances suitable for
adaptation, under extremely regulated conditions. Often we're more
interested in how much sensory variation is required to detect a variation
between them. It is known as the simple visible difference or level of
difference. Unlike the absolute threshold, the threshold of difference varies
depending on the severity of the stimulus. Imagine yourself as an example
of a very dark cinema theatre. If a member of the listeners were to receive a
text message on her mobile phone, which caused her screen to light up,
there are chances that many people will notice the change in the theater
lighting. However, if the same occurrence happened during a soccer game
in a brightly lit stadium, very few people would notice it. The brightness of
the mobile phone does not change, but its ability to be perceived as an
illumination change significantly differs between the two contexts. Ernst
Weber proposed this principle of change in the threshold of difference in the
1830s. It became known as Weber's law: the threshold of difference is a
constant fraction of the original stimulus, as shown by the illustration. It is
the belief that bigger variations need to be observed in greater differences.
 CHAPTER TWO

DARK MANIPULATION
The ability to control shadow/darkness. Darkness manipulation is also
known as blackness power, manipulation of blackness, darkness power,
control of darkness components, pyrokinesis, shadow bending. Shadow
power, shadow control of objects, shadow manipulation, shadow material
and kinesis of Umbra. Users can build, form, and manipulate shadows and
darkness. By itself, darkness is mainly used to fog everything into complete
darkness. Still, through acceding to a realm of dark energy, it can be
channeled through a variety of results, both as an absence of light and as a
solid substance: one can also monitor and influence the actual beings,
construct and dispel barriers and areas of total darkness, create buildings
and weapons.
Users can turn their shadows, or others, into living beings. As the rule that
everything that happens to the real body happens to the shadow, this ability
will allow the user to control the shadow and, in fact, cause harm by using it
to strike. It means anything that happens to the shadow is mirrored in the
true body; in short, a form of "reverse" puppetry of shadows. Psychological
manipulation is a kind of social influence aimed at changing other people's
behavior or attitude by indirect, misleading, or underhanded tactics. Such
tactics could be deemed exploitative and devious by promoting the
manipulator's interests, often at the detriment of another.
There's not an inherently negative social impact. For example, people like
friends, family, and doctors may try to persuade people to alter unhelpful
habits and behaviors. In general, social control is viewed as harmless if it
respects the right of the affected individual to accept or reject it, and is not
unduly intrusive. Social influence may constitute underhanded bribery,
depending on the context and motives.

Manipulative Approaches
According to Simon
Simon described psychological tactics such as:

Lying (by commission): It's hard to say whether somebody

lies at the moment, they do it, but sometimes later, when it's
too late, the truth will become obvious. One way to decrease
the probabilities of being lied to is to realize that some
personality (particularly psychopaths) are experts in the art of
lying and cheating, sometimes doing so in subtle ways.
Lying by omission: This is a subtle type of deception by
hiding a large amount of reality. Even this technique is used in
propaganda.
Denial: Manipulator refuses to accept that they did anything
wrong.
Rationalization: An justification for unethical conduct made
by the manipulator. Rationalization relates closely to spin.
Minimization: This is a denial form combined with
rationalization. The manipulator argues that their conduct, for
example, is not as negative or reckless as anyone else implied,
claiming that a taunt or provocation was just a joke.
Selective inattention or selective listening: Manipulator
refuses to pay to listen to something that could detract from
their list, saying stuff like "I don't want to hear."
Diversion: The manipulator does not give a straightforward
answer to a straight question and instead is diversionary,
leading the discussion to a different subject.
Evasion: Similar to distraction but meaningless, rambling,
ambiguous reactions, weasel words.
Covert intimidation: manipulator uses veiled (subtle, explicit
or implied) threats to force the target onto the defensive.
Guilt Trip: A special form of bullying tactic. A manipulator
suggests they don't care enough about the compassionate
victim, are too greedy, or have it simple. Usually, this causes
the victim to feel bad, holding them in a place of self-doubt,
fear, and submission.
Shaming: Manipulator uses sarcasm and put-down to heighten
the victim's anxiety and self-doubt. Manipulators use this
technique to make others feel undignified and therefore defer
to them. Shaming techniques, such as a stern look or smile,
offensive tone of voice, sarcastic remarks, overt sarcasm,
maybe very overt. Manipulators will shame one for even
daring to challenge them. It is a successful way for the victim
to build a sense of inadequacy.
Vilifying the victim: This strategy is, more than any other, a
powerful means of putting the victim on the defensive while
still masking the manipulator's aggressive motive, while the
manipulator falsely accuses the victim of being an abuser in
retaliation when the victim stands up for or defends themselves
or their role.
Assuming the victim's part: the manipulator presents himself
as a victim of circumstances or actions to gain affection,
sympathy, or elicit affection and thus receive something from
someone else. Caring and caring people can't bear to see
anyone hurting, and the manipulator also finds it easy to get
help to capitalize on compassion.
Playing a servant's role: clogging a self-centered agenda in
the name of centered a more worthy cause, such as claiming
that they are behaving in a certain way to be "obedient" to or
"serving" a figure of authority or "only doing their work."
Seduction: Manipulator uses charisma, encouragement,
flattery, or overt help to get others to lower their defenses and
give the manipulator their confidence and allegiance. They will
also provide support to gain confidence and access to a
charmed innocent victim.
Spreading the blame (blaming others): exploiting scapegoats
in ways that are often subtle and hard to detect. The
manipulator would also transfer his thoughts onto the victim,
making them appear like they did something wrong.
Manipulators will also argue that the victim, as if the victim
induced the manipulator to be deceitful, is the one who is at
fault for believing lies that they were conned into believing. All
this is done to make the victim feel guilty for making healthy
choices, correct thinking, and good behaviors, except for the
portion that the manipulator uses to admit false guilt. It is often
used as a way of manipulation and control over psychological
and emotional matters. Manipulators lie about lying, only to re-
manipulate the less credible original story into a "more
reasonable" fact the victim would believe. Another common
method of control and coercion is to project lies as being the
reality. Manipulators may falsely accuse the victim of being
"deserved to be handled in this way." They frequently say the
victim is insane and violent, particularly when the evidence
against the manipulator is available.
Feigning innocence: Manipulator attempts to say that any
damage done was accidental or that something they were
accused of was not done. The manipulator may have a look of
surprise or outrage. This strategy causes the victim to doubt his
own decisions and probably his wellbeing.
Feigning confusion: Manipulator tries to play ignorant by
pretending that they do not know what the victim is talking
about or that they are confused about an important topic
brought to their attention; The manipulator purposely confuses
the victim so that the victim questions their accuracy of
perception, frequently pointing out key elements that the
manipulator deliberately omitted in the event there is room for
doubt. Manipulators would also have used cohorts in advance
to help back up their narrative.
Brandishing wrath: Manipulator uses wrath to brandish
enough emotional strength and anger to scare the victim into
submission. The manipulator isn't mad; they just put an act on.
They want what they want, and when rejected, they get
"angry." Managed rage is also used as a deception technique to
 avoid conflict, avoid telling the truth, or mask more aim. The
manipulator also uses threats of going to the police or falsely
disclosing crimes that the manipulator purposely created to
threaten or bully the victim into submission. Blackmail and
other publicity threats are other types of controlled anger and
coercion, particularly where the victim rejects the
manipulator's initial requests or suggestions. Rage is often used
as a shield so that the manipulator can stop saying facts at
times or situations that are inconvenient. Rage is also used to
fend off investigations or suspicion as a tactic or defense. The
victim becomes more focused on the rage, rather than the
technique of coercion.
Bandwagon effect: Manipulator strengthens the victim's
submission by implying (whether real or false) that many
people have already done this, and that the victim should.
These involve phrases such as "Many people like you ..." or
"Everyone does this anyways." Such coercion can be used in
peer pressure cases, often happening in circumstances where
the manipulator seeks to manipulate the victim in attempting
narcotics or other substances.

Ordinary versus Global Manipulation

In ordinary life, types of control, like those mentioned above, are
commonplace. It distinguishes them from types of control described in the
literature of free will as "manipulation." Generally, the term "manipulation"
refers to extreme conditioning or reprogramming of all or much of the
values, desires and other mental states of a person. Such global exploitation
(as we may call it) is often conceived as occurring by decidedly
extraordinary means, such as divine intervention, overt neural modification,
extreme indoctrination, and psychological conditioning programs. Usually,
global exploitation is assumed to be depriving the target of free will. This
widespread intuition drives the "exploitation case" that seeks to justify
incompatibility by pretending to have been the target of global exploitation
by living in a deterministic universe.
Given the variations between ordinary coercion and the types of
exploitation in the literature on free will, the relationship between them is
still worth thinking about. If global manipulation deprives the target of free
will or autonomy entirely, could more traditional exploitation types do
something similar, albeit on a more restricted scale?

Two Exploitation Questions about Manipulation

Two key questions about deception need to be addressed, as will be evident
from our discussion so far. A satisfactory manipulation theory should
answer them both.
One question – call it the issue of identity – concerns meaning and
recognition: How do we classify the types of power that are deceptive and
which are not? A reasonable response will presumably include a general
manipulation concept that describes the various types of manipulative
control in common. A response to the identification question should also
include guidelines for evaluating if a given instance of the control is
coercive, in addition to highlighting how the different instances of
manipulation are manifestations of a single, more fundamental
phenomenon. Such an analysis could, of course, show that some of the
phenomena that we were pre-theoretically inclined to classify as
manipulation are relevantly different from simple cases of manipulation so
that we might be guided to rethink our use of the word "manipulation," at
least in contexts where precision is important.
A second issue — call it the issue of assessment — concerns morality: How
do we determine manipulation's moral status? A reasonable response to this
question should inform us whether there is always immorality in coercion.
And if coercion isn't necessarily unethical, a correct answer to the issue of
assessment should tell us how to decide when it's unethical. More
significantly, however, a reasonable answer to the issue of assessment could
clarify why coercion is unethical when it is unethical. What characteristic of
deception makes it unethical when it is unethical in such situations?
Although the issues related to identification and assessment are separate,
they are not completely different. Any study of why manipulation is
unethical (when unethical) would require understanding what manipulation
is. So, our response to the question of identity would limit our answer to the
question of assessment. But an answer to the question of identification
could do more than limit our response to the question of evaluation: it could
direct it too. Suppose a manipulation account defines its underlying trait as
being relevantly similar to something else that we have independent
grounds for finding to be morally wrong. In that case, we will generally
argue that manipulation is wrong for similar reasons. Finally, we may need
to change our responses to these questions if they mean implausible
implications together. For instance, if we describe manipulation as any form
of influence in addition to rational persuasion or coercion, and then say that
the wrongness of manipulation is absolute, we would be forced to conclude
that no form of influence except rational persuasion is morally ever
legitimate. It is a controversial hypothesis that few would consider, but it is
a hypothesis that comes from integrating some answers to identity with
some answer to assessment.

Manipulation as Bypassing Reason

Manipulation is also said to 'bypass,' 'undermine' or 'subvert' the target's
logical deliberation. However, it is not always clear whether this argument
is intended as a manipulation concept, or merely as a declaration of
manipulation (maybe one that explains its moral status). But let us consider
whether the notion of circumventing rationality through deception will
serve as a deception concept.
For at least two reasons, the idea that deceptive forces circumvent the
target's reasonable deliberation capability is appealing. First, it seems fair to
assume that because coercion varies from logical persuasion, it must
manipulate actions by means that do not involve the object's cognitive
capacities. Second, it seems intuitive to define as coercive modes of control
that circumvent the potential of the aim for reasoned deliberation. For
instance, suppose subliminal messaging operated in the way it is widely —
but possibly inaccurately — represented, so exposing yourself to a
subliminal message urging you to "drink coke" might influence your actions
without engaging your logical deliberation mechanisms. Such an effect
would appear intuitively to be a simple case of coercion.
Subliminal advertising tactics — along with hypnosis and behavioral
conditioning — are widely described as successful means of manipulating
people without their knowledge and, therefore, without involving their
ability to think rationally. In the mainstream (and often philosophical)
imagination, such strategies' efficacy is almost certainly greatly
underestimated. But if we picture them functioning and often being
depicted, they will be perfect examples of what it might mean to suggest
that deception bypasses reason. Thus, we should understand coercion in
terms of bypassing rational deliberation and understanding "bypassing
rational deliberation" to manipulate psychological processes or strategies
that can produce actions without any rational input.
However, there could be a challenge to the argument that deception is
presumptively false. One may argue that "manipulation" is a morally
neutral concept without even the implication of immortality, or at least
should be so. In this view, it will always rely on the facts of the case
whether a given instance of coercion is immoral, and the word itself
contains (or should include) no implication one way or the other. There are
ideas of coercion that are not moralized. When we talk about a scientist
manipulating variables in an experiment, or a pilot manipulating the
aircraft's controls, our use of the term is devoid of any sign of moral
reproach. In the social sciences, we will find cases where the word
"manipulation" is used in a morally neutral manner, even though the object
of manipulation is another individual.

Manipulator Characteristics
The ultimate purpose is to use the power to manipulate the other person.
The cornerstone of a successful relationship is honesty, understanding and
mutual respect. It is true of intimate as well as professional relationships.
Often people try to manipulate certain aspects of a relationship so they can
profit in some way. There can be subtle indicators of emotional abuse. They
are often difficult to recognize, particularly when they do happen to you. It
would be best if you learned to understand and avoid the abuse. Also, you
will learn how to preserve your self-esteem and health.
We will look at common types of emotional abuse, how they can be
understood, and what you can do next.

They Maintain "home-court advantage."

If it's your true home or just a favorite coffee shop, being in your home turf
can be inspiring. If the other person always insists on meeting within their
domain, they will attempt to create a power imbalance.
They claim to own the space, which leaves you at a disadvantage.
Take, for example:

"Drive to my office whenever possible. I'm too busy to hike

you over.
"You know how far this is from a trip for me. Tonight, come
over here.'

They get too close too soon.

In the typical get-to-know-you process, emotional manipulators might skip
a few steps. It "shares" the deepest secrets and vulnerabilities.
However, what they are doing is trying to make you feel special to share
your secrets. They could later use those sensitivities against you.
Take, for example:

"I feel like we're connecting at a very deep level. That's never
happened before.'
"I have never had anyone like you share their vision with me.
We are meant to be together in this.

They'll let you talk first.

With some business relationships, this is a common strategy, but it can also
happen personally.
If a person wants to maintain control, they should ask questions of sampling
so you can share your thoughts and concerns early on.
They will then use your responses to influence your choices, with their
secret plan in mind.
Take, for example:
 "Gosh, I have never learned the business nice stuff. What have
you been experiencing?
"Well, you'll just have to tell me why you're crazy about me
again."

Twisting the facts

Emotional manipulators are masters of manipulating reality to confuse you
with lies, fibs, or misstatements.
They will exaggerate events, so they appear more vulnerable. They can
even understate their role in a dispute to win support for you.
Take, for example:

"I asked a request about the project, and she came to me,
shouting how I've never done anything to help her, but you
know I do that.
"I screamed and didn't sleep a bit all night."

They committed intellectual bullying

When you ask a question, if anyone overwhelms you with numbers, jargon,
or evidence, you can experience a kind of emotional manipulation.
Some manipulators claim to be the expert, and their "intelligence" is forced
upon you.
It is especially common in circumstances involving finance or sales.

"I know that's a lot of numbers for you, so I'll go through it

slowly again."
"You're new to this, so I'm not expecting you to understand."

They engage in bureaucratic bullying.

Emotional manipulators will also try to weigh you down with paperwork,
red tape, processes, or anything in the business environment.
It is a particular possibility when you show skepticism or pose questions
that bring into question their shortcomings or vulnerabilities.
Take, for example:

"This is going to be way too hard for you. I will just quit now
and save time for myself.
"You have no idea what a nightmare you make for yourself."

They make you feel guilty about speaking out.

If you ask questions or make a recommendation, an emotional manipulator
will likely respond aggressively or try to pull you into an argument. This
technique lets them manipulate your choices and influence your choices.
They can even use the situation to make you feel bad in the first place for
voicing your concerns.
Take, for example:

"I don't understand why you're just not trusting me."

"You know I'm just nervous. I can't help but still want to know
where you are.

They minimize your problems and play up your own

If you have a hectic day, an emotional manipulator can seize the
opportunity to raise their questions.
The goal is to invalidate what you feel, so you're forced to concentrate on
them and expend your emotional energy on their issues.
Take, for example:

"Do you think it is bad? You don't have to pact with a cube-
mate who is chatting the entire time on the phone.
"Thank you for having a child. All my life, I've been lonely.'

They serve as martyrs.

Someone who manipulates people's emotions may enthusiastically agree to
help with something but then turn around and drag their feet or look for
ways to avoid agreeing to it.
They will behave like it ends up being a big burden, and they will try to use
your emotions to get out of it.
Take, for example:

"I know that you need me to. That's such a number, and I'm
overwhelmed already.'
"It is more complicated than it does seem. When you asked me,
I don't think you knew that.'

They 'just joke' when they say something rude or cruel.

Critical comments may be interpreted as sarcasm or irony. They can pretend
they're saying something in jest when planting a seed of doubt that they try
to do.
Take, for example:

"Geez, you look worn-out!

"Ok, if you were to pick any up and walk around from your
desk, you wouldn't get out of breath so quickly."

They don't take accountability.

Emotional manipulators will never be held accountable for their actions.
But they will try to find a way to make you feel bad about everything, from
struggle to a failed project. You may end up apologizing, even though they
are the ones to blame.
Take, for example:

"I just did it because I love you."

"If you hadn't been on the awards program for your son, you
might have completed the project in the right way."
They're still one-up you.
They find a justification for taking the spotlight away from you when you're
elated.
In the negative context, this too can happen. If you've encountered a
disaster or loss, an emotional manipulator can try to make their problems
seem worse or more urgent.
Take, for example:

"The wage rises are fantastic, but did you see anyone else
getting a full promotion?
"I am sorry that your grandfather has died. In two weeks, I lost
both of my grandparents, so at least that isn't bad.

They still make critiques of you.

Under the pretense of jest or sarcasm, emotional manipulators may discard
or weaken you.
Their remarks are meant to chip away at your self-esteem.
They seek to mock you and marginalize you. The manipulator also
projected its insecurities.
Take, for example:

"Are you not of the opinion that dress is a little provocative for
a client meeting? That's one way I suppose to get the account.'
"What you do is eat."

They use your insecurities against you

They will use these to injure you because they know your weak points.
They will make statements and take actions intended to make you feel
insecure and angry.
Take, for example:
 "You said you’d never want your kids to grow up in a broken
home. Look now at what you do to them.
"This is a demanding crowd. If I were you, I would be
anxious.'

They use their feelings against you.

If you're angry, someone who manipulates you might try to make you feel
bad about your feelings.
They may accuse you of being irrational or of not having invested
sufficiently.
Take, for example:

"You'd never doubt me if you loved me."

"I couldn't handle the work. I wouldn't want to be so far from
my children.

They use voyages of shame or ultimatums.

A manipulative person may make dramatic comments during a dispute or
conflict intended to place you in a difficult position.
With offensive remarks, they can target the emotional vulnerabilities to
extract an apology.
Take, for example:

"I don't deserve to live if you leave me."

"If this weekend you can't be here, I think it demonstrates your
commitment to this office."
They are violent and passive.
A passive-aggressive individual can sidestep confrontation.
They use people around you, for example, colleagues, instead of interacting
with you.
They can even talk to their co-workers behind your back. Take, for
example:

"I would be more about that, but I know you're too busy."
"I figured it would be easier to hear that from someone else,
not me, because we're so close."

You get the silent treatment.

They're not responding to your calls, texts, direct messages, or some other
contact type.
To gain power, they use silence and make you feel guilty for their actions.

Anything they say or do later they deny it.

This technique is intended to call the recollection of events into doubt.
When you're no longer sure what happened, they will blame the issue on
you, making you feel guilty for the confusion.
Take, for example:

"I have never said that before. You picture things again.
"I would not be committing to this. You know I'm pretty busy.

They're "too calm" in times of crisis.

Manipulative people sometimes have an opposite reaction to the person
they're manipulating.
In emotionally charged circumstances, this is particularly true.
That's why they're able to use your reaction to make you feel too
vulnerable. Then you gage your reaction based on theirs and conclude that
you were out of line. Take, for example:

"I didn't want to alter anything, but you seemed out of control a
little bit."
You were way too angry.'
 "I did not want to alter anything, but you seemed out of control
a little bit."
They leave you questioning your sanity.
Gaslighting is a deceptive technique by which people attempt to make you
think you can't trust your intuition or knowledge any longer.
They make you believe stuff that happened is a figment of your
imagination. You're losing your sense of truth.
Take, for example:

"Everybody knows this doesn't work like this."

"Not late. You have just forgotten what time I said I would be
there.
What should I do?
It may take minutes to realize someone is manipulating you emotionally.
The symptoms are subtle and develop with time.
But if you think this is the way you are being handled, trust your intuition.
For your part, apologize, then move on. You certainly won't get an
apology, but still, you don't have to dwell on it. Give up what you believe
you did, and then say nothing about the other allegations.
Don’t try to fight them. This game shouldn't have two people playing.
Instead, learn to identify the techniques so that you can plan your answers
correctly.
Set limits. When a manipulative individual becomes aware that they are
losing control, their methods may become more desperate. Now is the time
to make serious choices. If you don't need to be close to that person,
consider cutting them off entirely from your life. Whether you're living with
them or working closely together, you'll need to learn strategies to handle
them.
Talking to a therapist or counselor about how to approach the situation may
be helpful. You may also hire a trusted friend or family member to define
the activity and impose limits.
 CHAPTER THREE

BASICS OF SECRET EMOTIONAL

MANIPULATION
If you've ever thought like something is wrong in a close relationship or
casual encounter — you're being manipulated, controlled, or even feeling
more than normal in questioning yourself — it may be manipulated.
"Manipulation is an emotionally destructive psychological technique
practiced by people unable to question what they want and need," says
Sharie Stines, a California-based therapist specializing in violence and
abusive relationships. "All people who want to exploit others want to
dominate others."
There are several different types of coercion, ranging from an emotionally
manipulative girlfriend to a pushy salesperson — and certain actions are
easier to recognize than others.
Experts can clarify the telltale signs here that you might be the victim of
exploitation.

You feel fear, obligation, and guilt.

According to Stines, coercive conduct comprises three factors:
apprehension, duty, and guilt. "If someone manipulates you, you're mentally
manipulated to do something that you don't want to do," she says. You
should feel afraid to do so, motivated to do so, or guilty of not doing so.
She points to two different manipulators: "the bully" and "the victim." She
says that a bully makes you feel afraid and will use violence, threats, and
intimidation to manipulate you. The perpetrator instills a sense of guilt in
their target. "Typically, the victim does hurt," Stine says. But while
manipulators always play the victim, she adds that the truth is they're the
ones who created the problem.
An individual targeted by manipulators who play the victim always tries to
persuade the manipulator to avoid feeling guilty, says Stines. Targets of this
kind of abuse also feel guilty for helping the victim avoid their pain by
doing everything they can.

You're questioning yourself.

Sometimes the word "gaslighting" describes deception that causes people to
doubt themselves, their reality, memory, or thoughts. According to Stines, a
manipulative person can twist what you're saying and make it about them,
hijack the conversation or make you feel like you've done something wrong
when you're unsure you've done it.
If you're being gaslighted, you may feel a false sense of guilt or
defensiveness — like you failed or had to do something wrong when, in
fact, Stines says, that's not the case.
"Blame the manipulators," she says. "We are not taking responsibility for
this."
There are strings attached.
"If you don't get a favor just because, then it's not 'for fun and easy,'" Stines
says. "If strings are attached, then there is coercion."
Stines refers to one manipulator type as "Mr. Pleasant man.' This person
will be supportive and give other people lots of favors. "It's frustrating
because you don't know something negative," she says. "Yet, on the other
hand, there is a string connected for any good deed — an obligation." If you
don't meet the manipulator's standards, you'll be made to feel ungrateful,
Stines says.
In reality, one of the common ways of manipulation is to manipulate the
norms and perceptions of reciprocity, says Jay Olson, a Ph.D. researcher
studying manipulation at McGill University.
For example, a salesperson could make it look like you should buy the
product because they offered you an offer. A partner in a relationship will
buy you flowers and then ask for something in return. "These tactics work
because it violates social norms," Olson says. "It's natural to reciprocate
favors, but we sometimes still feel obligated to reciprocate and comply even
if someone does one insincerely."
You notice the 'foot-in-the-door' and 'door-in-the-face' techniques.
Manipulators sometimes carry out one of two strategies, Olson says. The
first is the technique of foot-in-the-door, in which someone begins with a
small and rational request — like, do you have time? — which then leads to
a bigger request — like I need 10 dollars for a taxi. "That's widely used in
street scams," says Olson.
The door-in-the-face strategy is the opposite — it involves someone making
a large request, refusing it, then making a smaller one, explains Olson.
For example, someone doing contract work can ask you for a large sum of
money upfront, and then ask for a smaller amount after you've declined, he
says. It works since, according to Olson, the smaller appeal seems
comparatively rational following the larger submission.
What you should do when you think you're being manipulated
How you respond to manipulation largely depends on what sort of
manipulation you face.
Says Stines, a strong support group may also help. "People in abusive
relationships need places to hear counterpoints. They're conditioned to
assume that the experiences are natural. Someone has to help them break
free from the presumption.
Stines recommends trying not to allow the deceptive actions to influence
you directly in other forms of coercion. "Using the motto 'Watch not
ingest,'" she says. After all: "We are not responsible for the feelings of
anyone else."
Setting boundaries may also play an important part in holding exploitation
at bay. "Boundaries are bad for people who exploit," Stines says. "As a
human being, you have your voluntary background, and you need to know
where you end up and where the other person starts. Manipulators also have
either boundaries too tight or boundaries too enmeshed.
According to Olson, this can also help prolong your answer in a deceptive
situation. For example, refrain from signing a contract at first sight, do not
make a big transaction without thinking about it. The first time they are
brought up, he advises, avoid making significant relationship decisions.
"'Sleeping on it" 'is always the only way to prevent exploitation, "adds
Olson.
A few years ago, Facebook experimented in collaboration with researchers
from Cornell and the University of California. They purposely played with
the emotions of 689,000 users by manipulating their feeds so that some
users only saw negative news while others only saw positive stories. Sure
enough, they were deeply affected by the mood of the posts shown as these
people shared their updates.
Facebook got a lot of flak about the experiment, mostly because none of the
"participants" consented to join the study. Perhaps more terrifying than the
faux pas of Facebook was just how easily people's feelings were exploited.
After all, if only by changing your newsfeed can Facebook control your
emotions, imagine how much simpler this is for a true, live individual who
knows your vulnerabilities and triggers. An expert emotional manipulator
can kill your self-esteem and even cause you to doubt your wellbeing.
It is precise because emotional abuse can be so damaging that its awareness
in your own life is important to you. It is not as straightforward as you
would think, since the emotional manipulators are usually very
professional. They start with subtle manipulation and raise the stakes over
time, so slowly, you don't even know it is going on. Fortunately, if you
know what to look for, emotional manipulators are fairly easy to identify.

1. They undermining your confidence in understanding the

truth. Emotional manipulators are remarkably skillful liars.
They insist that an event did not happen when it did, and when
they did not, they say they did or said something. The problem
is that they are so good at that that you end up questioning your
fitness. Insisting that whatever caused the problem is a figment
of your imagination is a massively strong way out of trouble.
2. They acts are not in line with terms. Emotional manipulators
can tell you what you want to hear, but there's another story
behind their acts. They promise their assistance, but they
behave as though your demands are unfair when it comes to
the time to follow through. They tell you how grateful they're
to meet you, and then behave as if you're a burden. It is just
 another way to contradict your health-care values. If you see it,
they make you doubt the truth and shape your view according
to convenient.
3. They experts in guilt-dumping. Emotional manipulators are
masters of using the guilt for their benefit. If you are bringing
up something that would annoy you, they will make you feel
bad for mentioning it. They will make you feel bad if you
don't, for holding it to yourself and stewing it on. When you're
dealing with emotional manipulators, whatever you do is
wrong, and they're your fault, no matter what issues you both
have.
4. They say the victim's position. Nothing is ever their error
when it comes to emotional manipulators. If they do — or fail
to do — it's the responsibility of another. Someone made them
do this — and it's you, normally. If you get angry or frustrated,
it is your fault to have unrealistic expectations; if you get
angry, it is your fault to frustrate them. Emotional manipulators
have little to account for.
5. They too fast. Whether it's a personal connection or a business
relationship, it always seems that emotional manipulators skip
a few steps. All too soon, they share — and demand the same
from you. They show openness and weakness, but it's a ruse.
The charade is meant to make you feel "special" to be admitted
into their inner circle, but it's also meant to make you feel not
just sorry for them but also responsible for their feelings.
6. They are an emotionally dark hole. Whatever emotional
manipulators believe they are geniuses to draw into those
feelings everyone around them. All around them know if
they're in a bad mood. But that's not the worst part: they're so
skillful they feel it too, not just everyone is aware of their
mood. It generates a propensity for people to feel guilty and
obligated to address the manipulator's moods.
7. They readily agree to help — and maybe even volunteer —
then behave like a martyr. An initial eagerness to support
 morphs rapidly into sighs, groans, and hints that whatever they
plan to do is an immense responsibility. And if you're putting a
spotlight on that resistance, they're going to turn it on you,
making sure they want to support you, of course, because
you're just suspicious. Target? To make you feel guilty,
indebted, and maybe even insane.
8. They are still one-up. No matter what issues you might have,
it is worse for the emotional manipulators. By telling you that
their issues are more urgent, they weaken the validity of your
grievances. The post, does it? You don't have grounds to
complain, so shut the hell up.
9. They know, and don't hesitate to press all the buttons.
Emotional manipulators are familiar with your weak points and
can use the information against you. If you're uncertain of your
weight, they're focusing on what you're eating or how your
clothes fit; if you're concerned about an upcoming event,
they're pointing out how daunting and judgmental the
participants are. Their emotional sensitivity is off the charts,
but they use it to exploit you and not make you feel better.

Overcoming Manipulation
Emotional manipulators make you insane because they are so inconsistent
in their actions. Make no mistake about it — their conduct goes against
reason, so why allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get
sucked into the mix?
The more crazy and off-base someone is, the easier it should be for you to
get out of their traps. Avoid beating them at their own game. Distance
yourself emotionally from them, and treat your interactions with them as if
they were a science experiment (or if you prefer the comparison, you are
their shrink). You don't have to respond to the emotional chaos — only the
truth.
Maintaining a distance from the emotions takes sensitivity. If you don't
know when it is happening, you can't stop anyone from pressing your
buttons. You'll find yourself often in circumstances where you need to
regroup and consider the best path forward. That's great, and you shouldn't
be afraid to buy up some time to do that.
Most people feel like they have no way to handle the chaos, whether they
work or live with anyone. That couldn't be any further from the truth. When
you've recognized a manipulator, you'll start finding their actions more
consistent and more understandable. It will allow you to think rationally
about when and where to put up with them, and when and where not. You
can set limits, but you're going to have to do so deliberately and proactively.
If you let things happen naturally, you're likely to be continually involved in
uncomfortable conversations. You can control more of the confusion if you
set limits and determine when and where you'll engage a troublesome
individual. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep the barriers in
place when the person is trying to cross them whatever they want.

Situations and Manipulation

Manifestations of love and coercion are so close that it often gets really
hard to find out which one of them we are looking at. And suppose we take
into consideration those popular "rose-colored glasses" that don't let us look
soberly at a relationship. In that case, the chances of knowing the real
situation will be small.
Bright Side isn't trying to taunt you in any show of consideration to check
for coercion signs. We've gathered a list of circumstances where
manipulators most frequently turn up.

Tracks your location

Referring to a concern for your safety, your partner agrees to activate the
location monitoring service offered by your mobile operator. Additionally,
checking in at public places has long been your routine. Ask yourself if the
city's situation is so dangerous that without any influence from your
beloved one, you cannot go to the bakery? If no, then there are the signs of
skepticism. Your partner needs to be aware of your moves, so they don't
trust you and want to watch where you're going.

Justifies rudeness with love

Love should make a happier human. But if he becomes intolerable, violent,
and dangerous, it's a disrespectful attempt to dominate a mate, motivated by
insane lust, rather than loves. Often this happens with jealous people. They
will dramatically alter their mood if you have changed your plans, if a new
beautiful colleague has appeared at your job, or if a sweet passer-by smiles
at you. It's difficult to predict when this envy, or its result, will surface.

Can't make a living without you, in a literal sense.

If all thoughts are focused on the partner and he or she becomes the essence
of life, it not only irritates and frightens but also reveals you're dealing with
a manipulator and blackmailer. That activity is often spiced up by driving
your old friends out. Respect is the cornerstone of healthy relationships,
including respect for individual space.

Tries to change you as per his/her taste

The most fun things about gifts are when your partner considers your
interests and activities to find something you'll enjoy, not only spending
money but also time. But a gift isn't necessarily a token of love. If a pile of
needless staff is always provided, it can mean two things. The first is that
they want you to feel the desire to give a gift back. The second is that your
partner wants to adjust you according to his / her preferences, selecting the
"right" clothes and decorating products for the interior.

Tries to limit your life to the family

It might seem insane, but it can become a justification to exploit such a
simple thing as the urge to bring up children together with your beloved
person. But the visions for the future of both spouses can be different. You
should not be using the concept of children to exploit one another. If a
career is more important for one partner and the other partner's family, then
if the latter does not compromise their desire for children, the first partner
will not compromise on their career.

Often uses flattering words.

Flattery is the best tool for getting someone's respect. But when it goes hand
in hand with hard weaponry in the form of flattering comparisons, there can
be no doubts: your partner pursues certain objectives he/she knows about. If
you learn to see the line over which an ingratiating and hypocritical
compliment becomes, you will escape several unintended effects of
manipulator contact.

Brings yourself up
While typically only adults and mature people go for relationships, some
act as if their partner is a 5-year-old boy. They're using a scheme of
punishments and rewards in raising this "baby." They can also use offensive
and violent jokes, and get shocked when the "kid" partner gets offended at
last. Such actions aim to make you question your strengths and abilities and
realize your reliance on a "smart" manipulator-advisor.

Makes you feel all the guilt for the quarrel he started himself
Without quarreling, there are no partnerships. They say the one who takes
the first move and apologizes is more appreciative of the relationship. There
are, however, various forms of excuses. Manipulators want excuses because
you feel guilty. You won't have enough courage to chat about the past fight,
so you don't want to appear like a drama queen. The scenario will inevitably
begin to happen again and again.
Recognizing circumstances and actions where your needs, protection, and
rights are on a limb is critical.

Tips on How to Deal with Manipulation

Here are 8 ways to find and fix it:

1. Trying to be truthful with an emotional manipulator isn't useful.

You make a point, and that's going to be turned around. Example: I'm really
angry you forgot about my birthday. Response "It makes me feel sad that
you'd think I'd forget your birthday; I should have told you about the great
personal stress I'm currently facing – but you see, I didn't want to disturb
you. You're right; I should have put all this pain aside and concentrated on
your birthday (don't be shocked to see real tears). Sorry. "Sometimes when
you hear the words, you get the impression that they do NOT mean they're
sorry at all – but once they've said the words, you're almost left with
nothing more to tell. Either that or you are unexpectedly babysitting their
anxieties!! If you believe this angle is being used under all conditions-do,
do not capitulate! Don't mind-do not accept an apology that sounds like
nonsense if it sounds like nonsense-it could be. Rule number one when
dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your intestines. FEEL the
senses. When an emotional manipulator discovers a good tactic – it's added
to their hit list, and this shit will give you a steady diet.

2. An emotional manipulator is a Willing Helper photo.

If you ask them to do something, they're almost always going to consent –
that's IF they didn't volunteer first. So when you say, "ok, thanks," – they
make a bunch of heavy sighs or other non-verbal signals that let you know
they don't want to do something that happens to be said. It doesn't seem
they want to do anything when you tell them – they're going to turn it
around and try and make it seem like OF COURSE they wanted and how
unfair you are. It is mad; making something positive is emotional
manipulators. Rule number two – If a passionate manipulator says YES –
make them responsible. Do not buy into the exhalations and subtleties – if
they don't want to do that – or either put it on the walk-man headphones and
run a bath and leave it to their theatre.

3. Crazy making – say one thing and then tell you that didn't say it.
If you are in courtship, where you think you can start to keep a record of
what has been said because you are starting to doubt your wellbeing – you
are experiencing emotional abuse. An emotional manipulator is a
professional who can turn things around, rationalize, justify, and explain
things away. They can lie so easily that you can sit down looking black, and
they'll call it white – and argue so persuasively that you're beginning to
doubt your senses. That is so subtle and eroding over some time that it can
alter your sense of truth. WARNING: Exploitation by emotion is risky! It
isn't comforting for an emotional manipulator if you start carrying a pad of
paper and a pen and make notes during conversations. Feel free to let he/she
know you are only feeling so "forgotten" that you want to record their
words for the sake of posterity. The damn thing about this is that having to
do such a thing is a perfect example of why, in the first place, you should
seriously consider removing yourself from control. If you tote a notebook to
cover yourself – the bullshit meter should now be blinking steadily!

4. Remorse. Excellent guilt mongers are mental manipulators.

They can make you feel bad about speaking up or not speaking up, being
emotional or not being emotional enough, giving and caring enough, or not
giving enough and caring enough. All is a fair game, and an emotional
manipulator is open to blame. Emotional manipulators rarely freely express
their needs or desires-by emotional manipulation. They get what they want.
Guilt isn't the only kind; it's a strong one. Most of us are fairly conditioned
to do whatever it takes to alleviate our guilt feelings. Another strong
emotion that's being used is compassion. One great target is an emotional
manipulator. They inspire a deep sense of obligation to help, care, and
nurture. Emotional manipulators rarely wage their battles or do their dirty
work. The unwise thing is that when you do anything for them (which
they're never going to ask for directions), they could turn around and claim
they didn't want to do something or expect you to do something! Try to
make a point of not combating other people's fights or doing the dirty work
for them. A great line is, "I have every faith in your ability to do this on
your own" – check the answer and take note of the bullshit meter.

5. Fight dirty by emotional manipulators.

They don't deal specifically with the matter. It's going to chat around behind
your back and, finally, put you in a position to tell you something. It's not
going to say themselves. It is passive-aggressive, meaning it finds subtle
ways to let you know the little campers are not content. They're most likely
to tell you what they think you're going to hear and then do a bunch of jerks
off shit to discredit this. Example: "I want you to go back to school, baby,
of course, and you know I'm going to help you." Then exam night, you're
sitting at the table, and poker buddies turn up, the kids are crying the t.v.
Blowing and the dog has to walk – all the while "Sweetie" lies on their butt
and stares at you blankly. Dare you call them on this kind of conduct you're
likely to hear, "Ok, you can't expect life to end just because you've got an
exam you can, honey? "Cry, scream or choke – only the last one can have
some long-term advantages, and it's likely to wind your ass in prison.
6. If you have a headache, a brain tumor would have an emotional
manipulator!
The emotional manipulator was still there or is there now, no matter what
the condition is-but just ten times worse. It's hard to feel emotionally linked
to an emotional manipulator after a certain amount of time because they
have a way to de-rail interactions and bring the spotlight back on
themselves. If you call them on this kind of behavior, they are likely to
become profoundly hurt or rather petulant, calling you greedy – or saying
that you are always at the forefront.

7. Emotional manipulators are somehow able to manipulate the

emotional environment of those around them.
When the very room thrums when depressed or angry with an emotional
manipulator – it brings a deep instinctual reaction to finding a way to
equalize the emotional environment, and the fastest route is to make the
emotional manipulator feel better – repairing something wrong for them.
Stay too long with this sort of loser, and you'll be so enmeshed and co-
dependent that you'll even forget your needs – let alone that you're just as
entitled to fulfill your needs.

8. Emotional manipulators should not feel guilty.

They don't take responsibility for themselves or their actions-it 's all about
what someone else has done to them. One of the good ways to recognize an
emotional manipulator is that they frequently try to create intimacy by
revealing intensely personal details early, which is usually the variety
"hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me." You can initially interpret this
type of person as very sensitive, open-minded, and even a little fragile.
Believe me when I say an emotional manipulator is just as vulnerable as a
raging pitbull, and you will still have to solve a challenge or a crisis.

Tips on How to Treat Manipulators

1. Ignore whatever it says and do.

The greatest mistake you can make when dealing with a dishonest person is
trying to correct him or her.
By correcting them, you sink deeper into their trap.
People who exploit will use anger and misunderstanding to lure you into a
confrontation. They want to make you feel emotional so that they can see
how you tick.
When they know what is causing you, they will use it to manipulate your
actions.

A better strategy is to ignore them completely.

Only erase them from your life. If you can't completely delete them, even if
they're a boss, coworker, or family member, agree with what they're doing,
and then carry about doing your own thing anyway.

2. Hit the center of gravity.

Constantly, manipulative people use their tactics against you.
They are going to bring past acts over your head. In your enemies, they will
become enemies and turn them against you. They're going to dangle a tiny
prize in front of you and make you chase it all the time — every time you
get close to it, they're going to take it away.

Turn the tables.

If you are coerced into dealing with a manipulative person who, no matter
how hard you try to ignore them, keeps making your life miserable, go on
the offensive.

Find their center of gravity.

This center may be a friend, boss, or subordinate to the deceptive person. It
may be a high-level talent or an advanced knowledge of a specific area.
Maybe it's a specific resource they control.
When you come to know what their center of gravity is ...
Make it yours.
Creating alliances with those close to them, hiring people to replace them
with their skill sets and knowledge base, or siphoning away their precious
assets.
It will throw them off balance and push them to concentrate on improving
their career and life rather than yours.

3. Trust your decision.

You know better than anyone else what is best for your life.
So many people are going around asking for the views of other people on
anything.
What do I want to do with my life? At what good am I? Who am I, then?

Avoid searching for other people to help you describe yourself.

Fine-tune yourself.
Just trust yourself.
What divides winners from losers isn't the ability to listen to other people;
it's the ability to follow their own opinions.
Your beliefs are your boundaries.
By setting your values and sticking firmly to them, you stop dishonest
people from influencing your life.

4. Try not to fit in.

Keep on reinventing yourself.
One myth is the belief that continuity is something admirable or related to
performance.
Manipulative people want you to be loyal so that they can rely on you to
further their agendas.
They want you to wake up at 9 am every day, working for them for
minimum wage. They want you to come home on time and make them feel
good about themselves and clean the house.

Assembly lines are consistent.

Consistency is how you are kept in a box by manipulators. That is how
they're manipulating you.
The only way to stop being exploited is by consciously going against all the
barriers other people attempt to create for you.
Keep on trying to blend in.
On the opposite...

Act to succeed.
Work to be different in some way, and never remain the same for too long.
By design, personal growth needs a lack of continuity. It calls for constant
improvement.

5. Stop compromising.
Guilt is an emotion to no use.
But.
It is an effective weapon.
Guilt is one of those weapons that can be used against you by dishonest
people. They will make you feel guilty of past mistakes and slight errors,
making you feel bad for being happy and optimistic.
No one should ever be feeling themselves too good.

That's what they want you to believe.

There is uncertainty about another arm manipulator that would use against
you.
They will work in instilling within you a sense of self-doubt—doubt about
your knowledge and your reputation.
In this state of confusion, manipulators gain control.
When you're unsure, their power becomes greater. When you're unsure, it
has a great chance of getting you to compromise on your beliefs, ambitions,
and self.
The solution to this is easy.

Avoid making yourself feel bad.

Avoid asking yourself.
You owe no-one anything when it comes to your job and life. You deserve
to feel good about yourself and to be shocked by your achievements.
There is no spiritual or rational alternative to your happiness. It is auto-
destruction.

6. Never ask for permission.

Asking for forgiveness is better than asking for permission.
The problem is we were constantly taught to ask for permission. We are told
to wait in line, waiting for our turn to talk.

We are advised to expect a promotion for a year.

Most of us are so used to waiting for approval that we sit quietly in
meetings, terrified of talking out of turn, or even putting our hands up.
What if you quit being too worried about politeness and made people feel at
ease?
Manipulative people want you to feel obeyed by some abstract law or
principle that says you can't take action freely without first consulting them.
The reality is that if you wish, you can take steps to move your career
forward.
Now you can take full control of your life.
Your decision is yours.

7. Create a greater sense of purpose.

The reason manipulators in this world continue to prosper is that so many
people do not know what they work for.
They don't know why they're at work.
They just fell into it, sort of.
If there is no reason in your life, you can believe anything. They're going to
do something. And absolutely nothing matters.
Individuals that lack meaning only waste time. They don't know where to
go, or why they are here.
To keep from going crazy, these people work at jobs they don’t like and stay
busy sending boomerang emails and going to the same pointless meetings.

Busyness empowers manipulative people.

The company empowers people to be manipulative by peddling
meaningless knowledge and events to them; manipulators manipulate
purposeless people.
What they say...

Every minute there is a sucker born here.

If you are constantly distracted, constantly consuming pointless stuff, trying
to keep busy all the time ...
You're a cunt.
The only way to escape from this destiny is to create a sense of intent.
Manipulators can't hurt you because you know where you're headed.
They can't confuse or misguide you while you're focused.

8. Take responsibility for yourself.

If you ever get fooled by someone, shame on them. If you are tricked 10
times by others, you're a fool.
Stop letting manipulators walkabout you all over from being a snap pack.
Nobody feels bad for you, and you're just getting embarrassed.
Have enough self-consciousness and self-respect to say no to people who
are treating you badly.
You cannot just float through life, blaming the problems on other people.
Yeah, some people do exploit.
Yeah, their deeds are false.
But that does not mean you have a free pass to make mistakes and exploit
them.

Without your permission, no-one can control you.

You are to blame for your achievements and defeats. If someone outstrips
you or outstrip you — it's your fault, not theirs.
Be accountable.
Learn from your mistakes.
Don't want to believe the same unreliable person again and again. Split
loosely. Delete them from life.
Commit to associate yourself with optimistic and like-minded people and
who will not only exploit you.
 CHAPTER FOUR

PERSUASION VS MANIPULATION
Persuasion , the mechanism by which individuals' attitudes or actions are,
without restriction, affected by other people's communications. Other
variables (verbal intimidation, physical coercion, and physiological states)
often influence one's attitudes and behavior. Not all contact is meant to be
persuasive; other aims are to educate or entertain. Persuasion also includes
manipulating people, and many find the exercise distasteful for this
purpose. Others may argue that human society becomes disordered without
any degree of social interaction and reciprocal agreement, like that achieved
by persuasion. In that way, by considering the alternatives, reasoning
achieves moral acceptability. Winston Churchill's assessment of democracy
as a government system, persuasion is — except for all the others — the
worst means of social regulation.
In the Universities of Europe during the Middle Ages, persuasion (rhetoric)
was one of the fundamental liberal arts that any learned man mastered; from
the days of imperial Rome through the Reformation, preachers who used
the spoken word to encourage any number of acts, such as virtuous conduct
or religious pilgrimages, raised it to a fine art. In the modern age,
persuasion in the form of ads is most evident.
Preliminarily, the persuasion mechanism can be studied by separating
contact (as the cause or stimulus) from the related changes in attitudes (as
the effector response). Analysis has contributed to the delineation of a series
of successive steps an individual is persuaded to undergo. The
correspondence is provided first; the individual pays attention to it and
understands its contents (including the basic conclusion to be urged and
probably also the evidence given in support). To be influenced by
persuasion, the person must yield to the argument being urged, or agree
with it. Unless only the most immediate effect is of concern, it must
maintain this new position long enough to act upon it. The persuasion
method's ultimate aim is to follow the action suggested by the new
attitudinal status for individuals (or a group); for example, a person enlists
in the army or becomes a Buddhist monk or starts to eat a certain type of
cereal for breakfast.
Some scholars emphasize parallels between education and persuasion, but
not by any means everything. They hold that persuasion through insightful
communication closely resembles the teaching of new knowledge. Thus,
because repetition in speech changes learning, they conclude that it also has
a persuasive impact and that verbal learning and conditioning concepts are
commonly and profitably implemented by persuaders (such as in the
judicious repetition of television advertisements, for example). Approach to
learning tends to emphasize message focus, understanding, and retention.
One 's reaction to persuasive communication is partly dependent on the
message, and in no small degree, on how it is received or interpreted. Words
in a newspaper advertisement can exhibit various persuasive qualities if
printed in red rather than black. Perceptual theorists allow persuasion to
alter the perception of any object of its attitudes by the individual.
Perceptual methods often rely on proof that the recipient's preconceptions
are at least as significant as the message's substance when deciding what is
to be understood. The approach emphasizes mindfulness and awareness.
While learning and perceptual theorists may stress the objective intellectual
steps involved in the persuasion process, functional theorists emphasize
more subjective motivation. Human beings are fundamentally ego-
defensive according to this view. That is, human behaviors and beliefs work
to fulfill conscious and unconscious personal needs that may have nothing
to do with the objects to which those attitudes and behavior are guided. For
example, the functional approach may theorize that ethnic discrimination
and other types of social animosity are derived more from the structure of
individual identity than from knowledge about social groups' existence.
Other theories consider the person faced with persuasive communication to
be in the vexing position of seeking a rational balance among several
competing forces — e.g., individual preferences, established attitudes, new
knowledge, and social pressures from outside sources. Those who
emphasize this conflict resolution (often called theoreticians of congruity,
balance, continuity or dissonance) focus on how people weigh these forces
in changing their attitudes. Some thinkers who take this starting point
emphasize persuasion's analytical elements, while others stress emotional
factors.

Principles of Persuasion

Reciprocity is the very first fundamental concept of power.

People are indebted to give back to others the kind of action, gift, or service
they first received.
If a friend invites you to their party, then you must invite them to a party
you are holding in the future. If a colleague is doing you a favor, then you
owe a favor to that colleague. People are likely to say yes to those they owe,
in the sense of social duty.
One of the best proofs of the Reciprocity Principle comes from a series of
restaurant-led studies. Yeah, the last time you've visited a restaurant, there's
a fair chance the waiter or waitress will send you a treat. Possibly at the
same time, they're taking your bill. Maybe a liqueur or a fortune cookie, or
maybe just a mint.
But that's the issue here. Will a mint's giving has any effect on how much
tip you'll leave? Most people say no. But the mint will make an amazing
difference. In the report, they are offering diners a single mint, usually
increased tips by about 3 percent at the end of their meal.
Interestingly, if you double the gift and offer two mints, tips don't double.
They quadruple — a rise in tips of 14 percent. But maybe most fascinating
of all is the fact that if the waiter offers one mint, he begins to walk away
from the table, then stops, turns back and says, "There's an extra mint for
your good people," tips go through the roof. A rise of 23 percent, not
affected by what was given, but by how it was given.
So, the trick to following the Reciprocity Principle is to be the first to give
and make sure that what you give is unique and unexpected.

The second universal Principle of Persuasion is Scarcity.

Put more of the things people want they can have less of.
When British Airways revealed in 2003 that they would no longer fly the
London — New York Concorde twice-daily flight because running had
become uneconomical, sales took off the very next day.
Note nothing about the Concorde itself had changed. It didn't fly any faster,
unexpectedly the service didn't get better, and the airfare didn't go down. It
just had turned into a scarce resource. And people desired it much as a
result.
And the evidence is straightforward when it comes to persuading you to
follow the Scarcity Theory effectively. Just telling customers about the
advantages they'll get if they choose your goods and services isn't enough.
You will also need to point out what is special about your proposal and
what they will miss if they fail to consider your proposal.

Our third Principle of Influence is the Principle of Authority.

That's the idea people are following the lead of reliable, experienced
experts.
For example, physiotherapists can inspire more of their patients to adopt
prescribed exercise plans if they show their medical diplomas on their
consultation rooms' walls. People are more likely to offer a total stranger
change for a parking meter if the requester is wearing a uniform rather than
casual clothing.
What science teaches us is that it's important to point out to others what
makes you a trustworthy, competent authority before making your attempt
at power. It may, of course, present problems; you can hardly go around
telling potential clients how brilliant you are, but you can make plans for
others to do it. And interestingly, science tells us it doesn't seem to matter if
the person who introduces you is not only related to you but also likely to
benefit themselves from the introduction.
One set of real estate agents was able to upturn both the number of property
appraisals and the number of subsequent contracts they signed by arranging
for reception workers first to mention their colleagues' qualifications and
experience who answered customer inquiries.
So, it was told customers interested in letting a property "Lettings?" Let me
link you with Sandra, who has more than 15 years of experience in letting
properties in this field. "Customers who wanted more details on selling
properties were told" Speak to Peter, our sales manager. He has over 20
years of experience in selling real estate. Now I am going to bring you
through.
The effect of this expert launch resulted in an increase of 20 percent in the
number of appointments and an increase of 15 percent in the number of
contracts signed. Not bad for a minor shapeshift from the science of
persuasion that has been both ethical and cost less to introduce.

The next principle is Consistency.

People like to stick to the things they've said or done before.
Consistency is enabled by searching for and demanding small initial
commitments that can be made. Researchers found somewhat predictably in
one prominent series of studies that very few people would be willing to
install an unsightly wooden board on their front lawn to help a Drive Safely
campaign in their neighborhood.
However, four times as many homeowners suggested installing this
unsightly advertisement in a similar neighborhood close by. Why? Why?
Since they had agreed to put a small postcard in their home's front window
ten days earlier, that showed their support for a Drive Safely initiative. That
small card was the initial pledge that culminated in a 400 percent rise in a
much bigger but consistent improvement.
So, when attempting to influence using the concept of continuity, the
influence investigator searches for voluntary, involved, and public
commitments, and preferably has those commitments in writing.
For example, one recent study decreased missed appointments at health
centers by 18 percent by actually asking patients to write down appointment
information on the potential appointment card, rather than the staff.

The fifth is the Principle of Liking.

Individuals tend to say yes to anything they like.
But what is it that makes one person like another? Science of Persuasion
tells us there are three major factors. Like people who are like us, we like
people who pay attention to us, and we like people who collaborate with us
against shared objectives.
As more and more of the experiences we've had online, it could be worth
wondering if those aspects can be used successfully in online negotiations,
let's say.
In a series of negotiation studies conducted between MBA students at two
well-known business schools, some groups were told, "time is money. Get
straight to work. "Approximately 55 percent were able to reach an
agreement in this community.
But a second group was told, "Exchange some personal details with each
other before you start negotiating. Identify a link that you have in common
and then start bargaining. "Ninety percent of them in this group were able to
obtain good and satisfactory results that were usually worth 18 percent
more for both parties.
So, to leverage this powerful like theory, be sure to look for similarity areas
that you share with others and sincere feedback that you can offer before
you get into work.

The final principle is Consensus.

Particularly when they're unsure, people may look at other people's actions
and attitudes to decide their own.
You may have noticed that in bathrooms, hotels frequently put a small card
seeking to encourage guests to reuse their towels and linens. Most do it by
drawing a guest's attention to the environmental sustainability advantages
that can bring. It turns out that this strategy is pretty effective, leading to
enforcement of around 35 percent. But could there be a more efficient way
of doing so?
Well, it turns out that at some point during their stay, about 75 percent of
people staying in a hotel for four nights or longer would reuse their towels.
So, what will happen if we took a lesson from the Consensus Theory and
put the information on the cards and said 75% of our guests reuse their
towels during their stay, so please do that as well? It turns out that the reuse
of towels increases by 26 percent when we do this.
Imagine the next time you've stayed at a hotel, you've seen one of those
signs. You picked it and read the following message: "75 percent of people
who remain in this room have reused their towel." Well, here's what you
might say: "I hope they're not the same towels." And like most people,
you'd probably find this sign has little effect whatsoever on your behavior.
But it turns out that modifying only a few words on a sign to point out what
comparable previous guests did frankly was the most successful single
message, leading to an improvement in the reuse of 33 percent. Instead of
relying on our ability to convince others, the science tells us that we can
point to what many others are already doing, particularly many similar
ones.
So, we do have it there. Six scientifically based Principles of Persuasion
allow for small practical, often costless improvements that can lead to big
differences in the ability to influence and convince others in a fully ethical
manner. They are the secrets of convincing research.

Nine Key Persuasion Techniques

The ultimate goal of persuasion is to encourage the client to internalize the
persuasive argument and accept the new attitude as part of their core belief
system.
The following are just a few of the very effective techniques for persuasion.
Such approaches include, and many others, rewards, punishments, positive
or negative knowledge.
Create a Need
One way of convincing involves generating a need or appealing to a need
that exists beforehand. This sort of persuasion appeals to a person's basic
needs for shelter, affection, self-esteem, and self-actualization. Marketers
also use this technique to advertise their goods. Consider, for example, how
many commercials say people need to buy a specific product to be content,
healthy, loved, or admired.

Appeal to Social Needs

Another rather successful form of persuasion appeals to the imperative of
being famous, influential, or similar to others. Television advertisements
include many examples of this kind of persuasion. Audiences are persuaded
to buy things to be like anyone else or like a well-known or well-respected
person.
Persuasion often takes advantage of loaded words and images. The power
of positive words is well known to advertisers, so many advertisers use
phrases like "new and improved" or "all normal."

Get Your Foot in the Door

Another method that is often effective in getting people to fulfill a request is
known as the strategy of "foot-in-the-door" This technique of persuasion
involves getting a person to agree to a small request, such as asking them to
buy a small item, followed by making a much greater request. The requester
already has its "foot in the door" by getting the person to consent to the
small initial favor, making the individual more likely to comply with the
larger request.

Go Big and Then Small

The foot-in-the-door approach is the opposite of that approach. A
salesperson may start by making an unreasonable, sometimes large request
—the different responses by refusing, slamming the door figuratively on the
deal.
The sales personnel respond by making a much smaller offer, which always
turns out to be conciliatory. People often feel compelled to answer these
offers. Since they rejected the initial request, people often feel pressured by
approving the smaller request to support the salesperson.

Utilize the Power of Reciprocity

You probably feel an almost overwhelming responsibility when people do
you a favor, to return the favor in kind. It is known as reciprocity norm, a
social obligation to do something for someone else because they did
something for you first.
Marketers can use this strategy by making it seem as if they're doing you a
favor, like "extras" or discounts, causing customers to accept the deal and
make a purchase.
Create an Anchor Position for Your Negotiations
The anchoring bias is a subtle cognitive bias that can powerfully affect
agreements and decisions. When attempting to arrive at a decision, the first
bid appears to become an anchoring point for all subsequent negotiations.
So, if you're trying to negotiate an increase in pay, being the first person to
propose an amount, particularly if that amount is a bit high, will help to
leverage your favor in the future negotiations. The first number becomes
the point of departure. Although you may not get the number, starting high
can result in your employer having a higher bid.

Limit Your Availability

The psychologist Robert Cialdini is renowned for his six influential
principles. One of the main concepts that he defined is known as scarcity or
restricting something's availability. Cialdini suggests things get more
appealing when they're scarce or small.
People are likely to buy something if they hear that the last one or the sale
is about to end. For example, an artist could only produce a limited run of a
given print. Since only a few prints are available for sale, people may have
a better chance of purchasing before they go away.

Five Sophisticated Methods for Dark Persuasion

Foot in the Door
Concept: The foot in the door principle means you can ask for a smaller
one before asking for a large favor. You make the person "committed" to
support you by asking for something small first, and the larger request
serves as a continuation of something that has already been legally decided
upon.

Real-life Application:

Ask a visitor for directions. They suggest they can get lost as a
follow-up and ask you to walk them there. You are more likely
to respond to that than to ask the second question straight-off.
You skipped a class and demanded their notes from your
 classmate. You eventually admit that you were a tad reckless
this semester and ask for the notes for the semester as a whole.
You improve your odds of getting the big one by first asking
for the small favor-namely, a free-ride on your classmate's
notes.
You just missed a significant midterm, and the instructor is not
offering retakes. You decide to ask your work for input and
why you have struggled, followed by a retake call. In such a
situation, you're more likely to succeed than simply demanding
a retake.

Door in the Face

Principle: Well, would you mind running naked around the streets
shouting how amazing the article is? No? OK, can you at least share that on
Facebook with your friends?
The door in the face is the reverse of the strategy above of persuasion.
Second, you ask for something big and won't agree with it. You ask for
something that is contrastingly simpler.

Real-life Application:

In Advanced Statistics, you ask a classmate to mentor you on

the upcoming midterm. Yeah, and till now, you've not studied
at all. The classmate apologizes and says they don't have the
time. And they have never even seen you before. Your request
to follow up on their notes is denied, however.
Ask your friend for a 100 $loan. You question after the "No":
"May I have at least 20?
A store has a policy of calling for donations to a charitable
cause before seeking payment from the consumer.
Most people wouldn't donate, but if the cashier asks them to donate $100
and then asks, "how about $5," the number of donations would increase
exponentially.
Anchoring
Principle: Anchoring is a cognitive bias inherent in most decision-making
processes. For example, how do you know which product is "good"? You
compare it to a like product, and from there, make a decision. There are
several different applications of this method; one of the most widely used is
pricing.
If properly employed, anchoring can be an effective technique of
persuasion.

Real-life Application:

You're beholding to buy a new car and find an OK 10,000

$offer. You negotiate with the seller and manage to reduce the
cost to $7,000. You are going home happy & disdainful,
realizing how much of an offer it was. However, the actual
value of the car was less than $7,000. The initial 10,000 $price
serves as an anchor so that you can consider something lower
than that as a "fair deal."
You've just got a new job offer, with an initial $2,000 monthly
salary. You are negotiating it to $2,200. Once again, you could
get low-balled, as with the previous example. While it may
seem appealing to raise by 10 percent over the initial offer, it
may still be smaller than the actual value.

Commitment & Consistency

Principle: People are susceptible to being consistent with what they do and
believe. If you commit a person to something small, you can use the initial
commitment to motivate them to do more for you.

Real-life Application:

You buy the same labels on and off most of the time. What was
your last attempt on a new snack or drink?
"You can do me a favor? ”Yeah." "Can you get me some beer
out of the store? ”Unlike," Oh, you should, etc.
 You have probably heard about how success can be beneficial
in setting targets. The definition is something rarely left out of
a book on self-help. It is successful because of consistency:
you are more mindful that you want and should aim for when
you have written it down.
Let's say you're working at an NGO and collecting money for
some reason. You should ask the person before asking for
donations if they support the cause. If only the cause is, they
will most likely respond positively. First, you're more likely to
receive donations by asking such a question.

Social Proof
Principle: Your friends mostly select this article for argument based advice.
"That is something everybody believes, so it must be real."
Social Evidence is one of the most perceptible methods of persuasion. It
does not take long to note that there is a high degree of group-thinking in
most social groups. Someone proposes an idea, and everyone goes along
with it – even though everyone disagrees. People look at what their peers do
when making a decision and behave similarly.

Real-life Application:

When you have an empty tip jar at work, you may consider
filling it up a little before the shift begins. Customers are likely
to tip if they see a full tip jar instead of an empty one – other
people tip, so I probably should do the same
There's a greater chance you'd like a Facebook post if it already
has lots of likes instead of a zero-likes message.
The reason some people take up smoking is because of social
evidence. Everyone smokes; hence, you can smoke too –
despite all the health concerns and the awful taste that comes
with it.

Authorities
Principle: "Persuasion Experts" and 9 out of 10 Jedi believe this article is
the best source of advice relating to persuasion. In any field or subject,
people look up to authority, so making yourself seem like a source of
authority will take you a long way.

Real-life Application:

Most start-ups or smaller firms put an "as seen" logo on their

landing pages if they were featured on major media websites.
For example, if a company was on TechCrunch, that means it's
a big deal since TechCrunch doesn't just cover everyone.
Feature X won the 2015's Best iOS App
9/10 dentists believe a particular toothpaste brand is the best
one out there. It also offers third world countries to clean
drinking water. And cancer treatments.
Companies appear to have their previous clients listed on their
landing page. It is particularly true when they have worked
with large corporations
 CHAPTER FIVE

HANDLING
There are periods when it feels like time is going slowly, but the reality is
everything is changing. No matter who we are, we'll start noticing the
changes at some point. Most times in life, it seems everything is shifting
faster than we can cope. In certain ways, handling change in our lives can
be simpler when we know the change is right. When the changes are
difficult, challenging, or not the ones we want, we need to learn how to
handle change. There will always be some form of transition in our lives,
and we're much better when it comes to managing change that we know
how to do.
So obviously, we can handle those changes that we look forward to, but
what about managing changes when it's not something that you were
expecting or hoping to see?
Two of these kinds of changes are something that almost everyone faces in
their lives at some point. Let's talk about adjusting handling when those
common occurrences occur.

Handling Change - Losing your Job

Employment loss is something most people have encountered in their lives
at some point. It is something that many people have recently encountered
in the current economy or have felt threatened by recently. It can create a lot
of tension in your life to think about losing your work or finding a job. It is
one shift you can do something about, and you don't have to let your life
take over from the tension and worry.
If you've lost your job or faced the prospect, consider looking at this
transition differently. Looking at it from another perspective is one good
way to approach transition. It might just be the chance for you to make a
change; you were afraid to make or try something brand new! There are
several things you could allow job loss into your life!
It could be the ideal time to learn a new ability or take classes at night.
Maybe you've never quite finished your degree, and now you've got time!
Grants and loans are always available to help support your educational
goals, which can make your life easier.
If you've always been thinking about starting a business, it may be the right
time to do it now. Make up some crafts, and get a spot at the local craft fair!
You might even try and sell them online. Websites such as eBay and Zazzle
make it easy for thousands of people to get your product before them. That
way, you are bound to find a lot of customers! Take that extra drive and
channel it into improving this healthy way of managing!
You are taking such action steppes beyond your comfort zone. But if you
can see the possibilities that are all around you, you'll know there's always a
different direction to look in. Gather your courage and take these steps to
expand your field of comfort!
Expanding your comfort zone will encourage you to keep busy with
hundreds of new opportunities. It is a way to manage change far better than
wasting your time being depressed over those changes and feeling
powerless.
Expanding your comfort zone and searching for new possibilities is a
perfect way to manage transition!

Handling Change - Address Changes

You've been or will be traveling at some stage in your life. Whether it's
across the city or around the world, moving is a big change that can cause a
lot of stress. How do we change handling when our whole life appears to
change almost overnight?
Especially when the move is a long-distance, you may feel like you're
leaving all your friends, family, and even the familiar places you used to go
to! You'll also have to figure out where things like grocery stores are, or
maybe it's the playgrounds the kids are going to miss.
While it can be hard and frustrating to step away from familiar, it should not
be overwhelmingly sad. Try to see your step from a different angle, and see
it as an opportunity. It can be a chance to meet new people and try new
stuff. Make it an Adventure!
The ones that you move away from are still going to be there. You can
reach them by telephone or even online. Don't ignore the opportunity to
create new connections and give your new place a chance. You can find
friendships even stronger than those you had before! You'll find other ways
to tackle transition with those new mates!

Handling Change by Looking Towards New Opportunities!

The way you look at things makes a big difference in handling. Try to see
some improvement as to the better aspects. You will begin to realize with
practice how much potential there is in any transition, and this will give you
a new point of view to take advantage of. Instead of putting stress on
change, you'll find healthier ways to manage change and be satisfied.
How to manage change is your option. When you see the transition as
something awful that's happening to you, it will cause you a lot of stress.
When you learn to look at transition as new possibilities await you, life
becomes simpler and happier.

Preventing Victimization and Understanding your Rights

To avoid being victims of illegal activity, everyone should take precautions.
Sadly, people with autism also need to take extra care. Public education and
preparation are also vital aspects of the solution for individuals with autism
safety skills.

Tips to help keep yourself safe:

To discourage street crime or abuser victimization, avoid areas

that are new to you.
Consider bringing a mobile phone.
If possible, travel in groups or walk with the crowd.
Do not dawdle or appear in a crowd hurried.
Safe park area.
Keep closed car doors.
 Look around the parking lot before the doors are opened, and
the car exits.
Arrive at work, school, and other activities with a crowd.
Do not gawk.
Do not hold eye contact.
Let someone know what your travel plans are.
Do not carry big cash amounts.
Dress to fit in with the region.
Remain in lighted areas.
Do not venture off well-traveled footpaths or vehicular avenues

What other actions can I take?

Contact your local autism service providers and recommend they help you
build a relationship with the police for regular training sessions.
To provide law enforcement with educational handouts. Ask for assistance
delivering the handout to law enforcement agencies.
Encourage local autism service providers to build opportunities in a secure,
organized, non-threatening, and low-anxiety atmosphere where you and
those with autism can communicate with law enforcers. You will then learn
how to communicate with each other better. They will need to discuss,
prepare, and execute these educational opportunities. Advocacy groups
should be empowered to discuss these concerns and support you with law
enforcement collaborations. Mutual understanding and exchange of
knowledge will still be the cornerstone of the effective resolution of autism
interactions.

Factors that make you vulnerable to handling

Owing to terror, many of us struggle with insecurity, but we also fail to
fully understand all the ways we shield ourselves and isolate ourselves from
others. It might feel like we're doing the right thing by keeping our mouths
shut when we do the opposite. Being insecure requires acts such as:

1. Ask for what it takes you. It's easy to ignore our pain when
we're suffering, or try to shield ourselves and the people around
us by shutting off. Achieving close links means being willing
to speak up when we need to. Admitting that we need someone
to rely on or that we are struggling or need support makes our
loved ones feel for us and react to us in ways that bring us
closer together.
2. Be able to have your feelings revealed. Sometimes we even
have a fear of revealing our feelings to ourselves. Yet knowing
and acknowledging our feelings is an important part of being in
contact with us and connecting with others. A large part of
strengthening our connections is a willingness to share how
you feel with someone else.
3. Say what you want. As a therapist, I sat in a room with so
many couples who are very good at telling their partner exactly
what they don't like and don't want. It results in many tits for
tat and back and forth that doesn't get them anywhere. Instead
of blaming and moaning on each other, I urge couples to tell
their partner what they want. It is usually much more difficult
for partners to do. They sometimes feel insecure about opening
up and becoming vulnerable as they take a chance to try to get
in touch with what they want to say what they want. Their
voices and their features are deeper. Sometimes their partner no
longer feels on the defensive, and the vocabulary of their body
changes, shifting to their partner and caring for the other
person. It is inspiring to see people feel the bond with each
other when they are confident enough to be open and say what
they want directly.
4. Say what you think. Besides voicing our desires and needs,
it's necessary to be truthful about our perspective and present
our selves. Our partnership should be a place where we don't
have to fear saying what we think. It is not to be disrespectful
or unnecessarily hurtful but to deliver an honest exchange.
Without being too defensive, we should be open to giving and
 receiving input. Recalling that we are all imperfect, and thus
defective, will allow us to have more self-compassion and
concern as we participate in more truthful communication.
5. Slow down, and be in there. Part of the weakness is being
able to be with someone else at the moment. Listening to our
vital voice inside, or spending a lot of time in our heads, we
may lose intimacy. Looking at our partner in the eye, listening
to what they have to say, and being able to devote time and
energy to the moment are always more complicated acts of
openness than we can imagine. But being involved in one of
these activities brings us closer to each other and our feelings.
It is amazing how fragile being nervous can make us. Many of us have
profound interpersonal fears, even implicit ones. There are real sadness and
fear around allowing someone else to know us and to feel emotionally
connected to that person. Both intimacy and vulnerability force us to
abandon an old, familiar identity and create a new self-conception in which
we assume we will be embraced for who we are. However, staying insecure
allows us to acknowledge our worth continuously as a special and
autonomous human being, thus giving us the confidence to expose
ourselves in ways that will reinforce our ties.
Nonverbal communication skills: Examples and concepts to develop
personal and professional relationships make it important to have good
communication skills. Two forms of contact predominate: verbal and
nonverbal. Although most of us are constantly aware of and use verbal
communication, nonverbal communication is typically not deliberate. Still,
it does give us a lot of knowledge about people and circumstances.
We'll explore what nonverbal communication is, why it's relevant, how to
read it, and how you can develop your body language in this guide.

What is nonverbal communication?

Nonverbal communication is knowledge transmission through body
language, including touch with the eyes, facial expressions, gestures, and
more. Verbal communication is the use of language through written text,
speech or sign language to transmit knowledge.
Nonverbal communication is important because it provides us with useful
information about a situation, including how an individual may feel, how
someone gets information and how to handle a person or group.
Attention and the ability to decipher nonverbal messages are important
qualities that you can use at any career level.

Types of nonverbal communication

You should be aware of many forms of nonverbal communication,
including:

Body language: Body language is simply how someone

instinctively situates their body, depending on the situation, the
atmosphere, and how they feel. Somebody might cross their
arms, for example, if they feel angry or anxious.
Management: Although movements differ widely across
cultures, they are commonly used deliberately and
involuntarily to transmit information. For instance, someone in
the U.S. can show a "thumbs up" to express affirmation or feel
confident about something.
Facial expressions: is one of the most common ways of
nonverbal communication; It can be very effective in
communicating eyebrows, lips, eyes, and facial muscles while
communicating both emotion and information.
Touch: Some people use touch as a means of communication
too. It is most widely used to express support or comfort. This
contact method should be used sparingly, and only when you
know how touch feels to the receiving party. It should never be
used in the workplace to express anger, frustration, or any other
negative emotions.

How to Read Body Language?

Learning body language is a hard skill that you will have to improve
throughout your career. While each person uses nonverbal communication
differently, some common signs of being careful will warn you about the
emotions, thoughts, motives and more of an individual. When you interact
with others, it's important to note their body language while also
considering their verbal contact.
Here are a few body language usages that you should start searching for:

Posture. If a person has his shoulders straight back and neck,

this signifies that he or she is engaged, listening, and open to
the ideas or knowledge that you offer. They can be nervous,
anxious, or angry if they show poor posture with their
shoulders slouched or lifted, and their spine bent.
They were carrying guns. If a person has his or her arms
down to his or her side, on the table, or placed in some other
open way, this is a sign that they feel confident and ready to
take up details. If their arms are closed or crossed, they can feel
some negative emotion.
Use of legs . If a person feels both put flat on the ground, this is
a sign they feel ready and open to hearing your thoughts. If
they cross or align their legs in some other closed
configuration, they may feel annoyed or anxious.
Facial gestures are included. If you have a furrowed brow or
tight lips when you talk with frowning, you may pause to make
sure they don't feel upset, frustrated, or any other negative
emotion. If you interact with someone who has a soft smile,
relaxed facial muscles, or slightly raised eyebrows, this is an
indication that they feel positive about the information you
offer.
Be alert to nonverbal signals while answering. Many people might be
unaware of their body language, and if you bring it up, they may be
humiliated. If you suspect someone during your conversations may be
frustrated, nervous, or confused, take a moment to consider the best
individual-based course of action.
If you feel it was helpful to ask how they feel at the moment, then address
them gently with something like:
"I fear you might feel confused by my presentation. Is there something that
I can take time to discuss or an idea that you would like to give feedback
on? OR
"Is this a good period to be talking about our new process?
If not, then I'm able to find the time we should talk better. If you meet with
many people, it might be a safer idea to discuss them in a one-on-one
environment afterward.

How to improve your body language

If you wish to make good use of your nonverbal communication, there are a
few steps that you can take:

1. Do a test of body language. Pay careful attention to how you

use body language during a working week. Note in meetings,
during informal conversations, and in presentations, your body
language, facial expressions, and posture. See if others are
responding to your nonverbal communications.
2. Remember how the actual feelings feel. Emotions aren't felt
solely in mind; they also affect us physically. As you
experience various emotions during the day (anything from
energized, depressed, happy or frustrated), try to recognize
where you feel your body's emotion. For instance, if you're
nervous, you might find your stomach is feeling tight.
Developing your self-awareness of how your feelings affect
your body will give you greater control over your outward
appearance.
3. Be conscientious when interacting nonverbally. Use facial
expressions or body language to be alert when attempting to
interact with others. When you feel alert, open, and optimistic
about your surroundings, make an effort to show positive body
language. If you feel confused or nervous about details, like
using a furrowed brow, you can also use body language to help
your verbal communication. To provide input, use body
language alongside verbal communication, such as asking
follow-up questions or taking the presenter aside.
 4. Only imitate nonverbal interactions that you find
successful. Use it as a guide to enhance your nonverbal
interactions if you experience such facial expressions or body
language that you find useful to a certain environment. For
example, if you find that when someone nods their heads, it
effectively expresses acceptance and positive feedback, use it
when you have the same feelings at your next meeting. An
important part of having outstanding communication skills is
nonverbal communication.
Take the time to consider people's body language and facial expressions
with whom you interact and how you use nonverbal interactions.
 CHAPTER SIX

BRAINWASHING AND MIND

CONTROL
In psychology, the brainwashing thesis, also referred to as the reform of
thought, falls into the "social influence" sphere. Every minute of the day,
social influence occurs. It's the set of ways people can alter the perceptions,
values, and behaviors of other people. For example, the enforcement
approach attempts to bring about a shift in a person's actions and is not
concerned with his behaviors or beliefs. It is the strategy of "Just do it." On
the other hand, persuasion strives for a change in mentality, or "Do it
because it will make you feel good/happy/healthy/successful." The
approach in education (which is called the "propaganda process" when you
don't believe in what's being taught) goes for the gold of social-influence,
seeking to effect a change in the person's values, along the lines of "Do it
because you know it's correct."
Since brainwashing is such an intrusive type of control, it involves the
subject's complete isolation and dependence, which is why you often hear
about brainwashing happening in concentration camps or cults of totalism.
The agent (the brainwasher) must have full power over the target (the
brainwashed) so that the agent's will depends on the sleep habits, sleeping,
using the bathroom, and fulfilling other basic human needs. In the course of
brainwashing, the agent gradually breaks down the personality of the target
to the point that it no longer functions. The agent then replaces it with a
new set of actions, attitudes, and values that function in the target's current
setting.
Although most psychologists agree that brainwashing is possible under the
right circumstances, some see it as impossible or at least as a form of
manipulation less serious than the media depicts it as being. Some
definitions of brainwashing include the existence of the threat of physical
damage, and most radical cults may not practice true brainwashing under
these definitions because they do not usually assault recruits. As an equally
powerful means of exercising power, other meanings depend on
"nonphysical force and control." Regardless of whatever definition you use,
many experts agree that the results of the procedure are most frequently
short-term, even under ideal brainwashing circumstances — the procedure
does not necessarily eradicate the old identity of the brainwashing victim
but rather suppressed. Once the "new identity" stops being reinforced, the
old attitudes and beliefs of the individual can begin to return.
Open any book, and chances of dystopian science fiction, the question of
mind control would come up. Not so much the ability to manipulate others
with one's mind (a la telepathy or telekinesis), but the ability to
communicate with computers, send messages, and even exercise pure
thought power over one's biological functions. Whether cybernetic
implants, nanomachines, or electrodes that relay thoughts as data allow it,
the idea of this technology-enabled kind of telepathy has been around for
several decades.
Well, as the saying goes, ultimately, science fiction becomes scientific
reality. And thanks to ongoing research into brainwave monitors for
electroencephalography (EEG), wireless technology, brain-to-computer
interfaces (BCIs), brain-to-brain interfacing (BBIs), mind-control is
becoming the very thing quick.
And most recently, in a study outlined in Nature Communications, a group
of researchers from ETH Zurich's Department of Biosystems Science and
Engineering describes how advances in synthetic biology, optogenetics, and
brain-computer-interfaces combined to establish the world's first "mental-
genetic interface" (MGI).

Mind Control not Detected

1. You do everything you can to think about them

The biggest mistake you can make is telling them to "think it through"
while asking someone.
Here's why: people have much too much to worry about already.
Their mind is already crowded between their work, their families, and their
hobbies and friends, like a suitcase bulging at the sides. Add one more sock,
and the whole thing will burst.
To stop it, they're "forgetting" about stuff they don't care about, or if it
worry about you, they don't think hard. It's not that it is lazy or dumb. It's
just busy, and you're not high on the priority list.

2. Start an avalanche
Creating an active marketing campaign is just like getting an avalanche
underway.
You climb the mountain first, and when you reach the largest boulder at the
top, and then you sweat and cough and struggle to get over the boulder, and
then you sit down and watch happily as the boulder falls into other rocks,
finally taking down the entire side of the mountain.
The lesson?
The first major yes is a pain in the ass to get, but it's easy to get all the
subsequent yeses if you get it from the right person.

3. Ask for an inch, take a mile

You've probably heard the saying, "Give them an inch, and they're going to
take a mile," right?
It is supposed to be dismissive. It is supposed to be a caution against
appeasement. It is supposed to protect you from using it.
But it's also great marketing.
Whenever you ask for something, never start by asking for anything
upfront. Instead, start small. Make it easy to get started. Minimize the risk if
it flops.
And when things go well, ask for more. And more.
You may think this is immoral, but if all goes well, why not press for more?
It's not manipulation. It's common sense.

4. Always have a real deadline

Keywords are "absolute."
We've all had salesmen telling us, "Ok, you'd better get back to me soon,
because I've got three more prospects coming this afternoon, and I don't
know how long it'll last."
There are no consumers, and there is no urgency. The seller is so desperate
that he's willing to lie, losing him your confidence and selling.
And not just salespeople.
How many periods have other people handed you utter unrealistic
deadlines, thinking it's going to inspire you to act? Our teachers do it, our
employers do it, our family does it, and you've probably done it too without
thinking about it.

5. Give ten times more than you take

You know that you should give before you get, right? But what you do not
know is how much to give.
Several advertisers erroneously believe it's a ratio of 1:1.
You should give a link before asking for a link. It would help if you gave a
promotion before asking for a promotion. You should do one thing that
merits a testimonial before asking for testimony.

6. Stand for something greater than yourself

Imagine there standing on a street corner are two homeless people.
The first guy has a regular, run-of-the-mill sign saying, "Spare a few
dollars? God bless you." On the other hand, the second man has a much
more peculiar sign: "It can't afford to feed my family, and it's tearing me
apart.
Which one is more likely to help? The latter, right?
Forget to give him a couple of bucks. You will take him to the grocery store
with a sign like this and buy him $200 worth of food. I know I'd.
That is the desire to stand for something greater than yourself. It does care
about people.
7. Be completely and utterly shameless
Want to know what's separating a major marketer from a marginal one?
Very blatant.
I'm not referring to a lack of integrity, a gregarious, extroverted personality,
or any other ways we look at advertisers historically. Those assumptions are
essentially myths.
No, I mean this by shamelessness:
An unshakable conviction that what you do is good for the world and a
desire to do something to make it come into being.
You don't publish it when you believe in your material, and you forget it.
You preach it day after day, week after week, month after month, year after
year, working relentlessly to spread the word and refuse to rest until they
do.
You don't balk at sales if you believe in your product. You are reveling
inside. Not because you are greedy or desperate or selfish, but because you
know that your product is going to help them, it is your responsibility to get
them to buy it. All it takes is whatever.
You don't ask for money because you believe in your charity. You question
them. You are taking people by the hands and looking at them in the eyes,
and asking them what you are doing is changing the world, and it is time for
them to step up and do their part.
It is not about money; It is not about fame. Not even for heritage.
It's about lovemaking. It's about being excited. It is all about having such a
beautiful vision that you can't help but fight to make it happen.

The Best Mind Control and Persuasion Techniques

Isolation
Physical isolation can be very effective, but manipulators usually try to
isolate you psychologically even though physical isolation is difficult or not
realistic. It can be done in various ways, from the country's one-week
seminars to insulting the family and friend circle. The ultimate purpose is to
restrict any other power by regulating the information flow.

Criticism
Criticism can be used as an instrument of isolation. Typically the
manipulators would speak in terms of "us versus them," condemn the
outside world and assert dominance for themselves. They say you've got to
feel fortunate to be associated with them.

Social evidence and peer pressure

Those that try to exploit large numbers of people will usually use social
evidence and peer pressure on outsiders to brainwash. Social evidence is a
psychological phenomenon in which (some) people believe other people's
acts and opinions are acceptable and must be explained because "everybody
does that." That works particularly well when a person is unsure what to
think, how to act, or what to do. In such cases, many people will only look
at what others are doing and do the same.

Fear of alienation
Newcomers to deceptive communities will typically receive a warm
welcome and develop a series of new friendships that seem to be much
deeper and more meaningful than anything they've ever had. These
relationships would later become a powerful weapon to keep them in the
community if any questions arise. Even if they aren't fully persuaded, outer
world life can seem rather lonely.

Repetition
Constant repetition is also another effective instrument of persuasion. While
it may sound too straightforward to be successful, repeating the same
message over and over again makes it more familiar and easier to
remember. As repetition and social evidence are combined, it delivers the
message without fail.
The presence of affirmations (as a tool for self-improvement) is another
evidence that repetition works. If you can convince yourself by repetition,
the chances are that someone can try to use repetition to manipulate you in
some way into thinking and acting.

Fatigue
Exhaustion and the lack of sleep contribute to physical and emotional
exhaustion. You are more prone to persuasion when you are mentally
exhausted and less alert. The research reported in the Journal of
Experimental Psychology shows that people who had not slept for only 21
hours were more likely to be suggestive.

Establishing a new identity

In the end, manipulators want the identity to be redefined. They want you to
stop existing as yourself and turn to a robot, someone who follows their
carelessness orders. Using all of the above-listed methods and techniques of
mind manipulation, they will try to elicit a concession from you — some
sort of recognition that you think they are good people doing a good thing
(slight variations are possible). It may be something seemingly trivial
initially, like accepting that the group members are fun and loving people or
that some of their opinions are true. If you embrace the one little thing, you
might be more likely to consider another and then another ... Before you
know it, out of a desire to be consistent with what you are doing and saying,
you begin to identify with one of the classes. It is especially important to
know your admissions have been registered or filmed — just in case you
forget your new identity is physically confirmed.
Let's say you're a member of Greenpeace. It all started with a small
donation, then some fun event (lots of new friends), and before you know it,
you're sitting in a little boat protesting Shell's fracking in the polar region
while putting your education and career on hold. What went wrong here?
Did you trick Greenpeace into doing this? No. No. You inspired them.
Although they have you doing something you'd never considered before,
Greenpeace does not use you to their benefit. They asked you to do what
they think is right (although views will differ), and you agreed-there no
personal benefit here.
Compare that with, let's say, a commanding instructor of karate who is
verbally and physically abusive towards his students while demanding
absolute respect and compliance in exchange, which makes them believe
that they are the only group of people who are about to discover some
unique secret that will shame both Terminator and Rambo.
Deceptive Encounter
It’s believed that lying is more effortful than telling the truth. Many quarters
of empirical evidence supports the general proposition. There are, however,
several factors that validate this trend and even reverse it. Driven by a
communication perspective, I present a baker's dozen moderators who can
alter the degree of cognitive difficulty associated with producing misleading
messages. Memory mechanisms, motivation, rewards, and consequences
are amongst sender-related variables. Lying enhances the activation of an
executive memory-related network of brain regions, repression of
undesirable habits, and task switching that is not associated with truth-
telling. High motivation combined with strong rewards or the possibility of
adverse consequences often triggers more cognitive exertion — for truth-
tellers and deceivers alike — to appear credible, with related effects on
efficiency and message output effort, depending on the degree of effort,
communicator ability and experience. Factors relevant to message and
communication context include the genre of discourse, type of
prevarication, anticipated duration of response, mode of communication,
planning, and target event/issue recency. These variables should minimize
the degree of cognitive taxation on senders in such a way that truth-telling
and deceiving are equally effortless. Factors relevant to the interpersonal
relationship between interlocutors include whether the sender and receiver
are cooperative or adversarial, and how well they know each other. A final
consideration is whether the study's unit is the utterance, turn at
conversation, chapter, whole interaction, or sequence of interactions. Taking
these considerations into account should provide a more complex answer to
why it is more difficult to lie than reality.
Common sense teaches us lying should be harder than telling the truth. The
reality is ready-made; after all, the lie has to be invented. Ceteris paribus,
there is more work to fabricate a fallacy than to reach and create a veridical
account of something already recorded in memory.
Yet common sense isn't the best instructor at all. There are also situations in
which telling the truth presents more difficulties than deluding. Therefore, I
would like to advance the hypothesis that the effort associated with
deceiving vice truth-telling is a function of the communication event's
characteristics in action. A deeper examination of the critical elements of
the communication mechanism would explain the question of the cognitive
effort associated with deception. Although many such elements were used
as moderators in a meta-analysis of deception, their effect was not
inherently due to cognitive (or emotional) exertion, and few valid empirical
associations. Therefore a more coherent structure is required.
 CHAPTER SEVEN

THE DARKNESS OF DARK

PSYCHOLOGY
First, let's look at how the "Other Side" of psychological thinking and
actions can be described. We need to know a scale, what's normal and
what's considered abnormal activity. Our first measure is social norms; this
means, given a collection of circumstances that confront our perception,
what is considered normal behavior in any society. For example, in Western
culture, violently assaulting another person is considered a criminal act and
repulsive to a civilized society. However, when the person is granted
societal permits such as a soldier in the act of war, a policeman in the act of
arrest of a violent suspect, a citizen defending his family against a serious
threat from another person, we condone abuse. There are several ways these
double expectations can be misinterpreted. The soldier who commits war
crimes such as genocide, the policeman who uses abuse to threaten a
witness when questioning them, or the individual who abuses another
person's rights in some way maintains his role.
Is the second test moralistic? How do we, as a society, regulate what is right
and wrong, who has the authority to decide these rights, do laws obey moral
principles, or do they protect the weak from the powerful or the rich from
the poor? Most communities accept that murdering another human being is
against a moral code-killing is inherently wrong and should be punishable
by an act of equivalent severity, by the community that upholds the moral,
legal status imposed by its lawmakers on the people. It has been an ethical
code of conduct for most cultures, such as the Christian faith's ten
commandments and similar codes from Buddhism to the Muslim Koran.
Trust in divine reward and punishment is embodied in the language of law
and laws seen as the foundation stone of every civilized nation. Having
embraced these rules, why do people readily deviate from those values,
laws, and religious guidelines that allow us to live in a stable community
governed by agreed standards of behaviors that protect the person from risk,
harm, and abuse?
The third field of conduct is that it is not laid down in law or moral
doctrines, but the ordinary sets of actions that the English would call
"manners" or "political." The action or manner of acting which conforms to
action agreed as to that of a superior member of a society who knows how
to conduct themselves in the company of others to a set of standards that are
seen as the mark of an advanced civilization. Sometimes, this can be seen in
the table manners protocol or a man opening a door for a woman and
allowing her to enter first, understanding man's obligation to protect and
defend women. Today, in some cultures, women's rights have cast doubt on
women's manners as sexist and therefore demeaning a woman's dignity.
Whether it is conventional Englishness or a Japanese tea ceremony,
manners never-the-less are seen as the symbol of being well-bread in
society's upper echelons.
Having developed communities with various ways of evaluating conduct
by, law, morals, or socially acceptable norms, humans still manage a wide
variety of dysfunctional behaviors that often affect and influence others to
the degree that the perpetrators of this conduct find themselves outside the
law, moral codes and etiquette of the rest of society. Often, we all remember
through the feeling of remorse that we have transgressed certain laws that
we regard as important to a well-ordered society. But many other people
feel nothing when met with coping with violence, destruction, and death
against others as simply their right to live without those laws and the
freedom to live a life defined by nothing other than what they want to own,
own, or kill.

The Dark-Side:
What does the man who kicks the dog possess when he is irritated by a
society that worries about his life? At that moment, when the dog cries and
howls in pain and terror, what emotions does he release? Why is he
laughing and wishing the dog some harm and loving an animal's sight in
pain? On-lookers are appalled by his actions and compassion for the
defenseless dog; this man has been attempting to handle cruelly and without
empathy. Who is that guy? Why now and then he's one of us. We all lose
our sense of internal equilibrium and rational thinking as we discuss the
injustice or lack of opportunities in life. In the other side-wait-for this man
to be rich, to have satisfied all his needs, and he still takes great joy in
kicking and watching the dog suffer at his hands. A sense of superiority in
his ability to cause suffering and the satisfaction of feeling superior to those
lower-minded individuals he sees as unable to do what they want and
therefore end up with his workers and servants. This superior situational
mentality leads to a lack of sympathy or empathy for others as just fools
embracing their superiority as leaders and legislators.
The above example is also to offer an insight into conduct that violates our
three indicators of social norms, law (hurting a defenseless animal), moral
behavior (the ban on senseless actions seen as wrong-doing), socially
acceptable behavior, (while all of lose their temper and kick their dog, most
will feel pains of guilt and remorse) Yet here we meet people who feel no
shame, no regret and see themselves as excluded from the laws with which
they disagree.
In England, was fox-hunting a cruel sport done mainly by educated,
experienced, wealthy men and women? Yet these same people demanded
the right to kill and destroy a defenseless animal when they saw their
hounds break apart and devour a fox for nothing more than a good time.
While most English people voted to ban this sport on several occasions, it
took many years of lobbying to put it into law. Fox-hunting is now an
unlawful practice, but these same people are still flouting the law and
hunting under local by-laws that still have to comply with national
legislation. As described by public opinion, these people know what they do
is illegal, unethical, and against social norms. And they claim to be superior
members of society, and therefore above the common masses' day-to-day
moral concerns. The shocking thing is that in England, these people are
members of parliament, police, judges, and others who regulate facets of
England's society such as property owners (land sometimes granted in the
past by Royal consent through stealing the rightful land of the poor). In
other words, the people who should set an example to society are the very
people who flaunt the law and behavior, which is socially acceptable.
We have to look at the suspect in yet another case. Criminals are also seen
as society's rejections as they came from dysfunctional backgrounds,
deprived communities, and inadequate parental upbringing. But the greatest
damage done to the public in society is also caused by corporate crime,
such as the embezzlement of pension funds, insider trading of stocks and
bonds, and corruption of money and resources by CEOs and government
officials. Sometimes this so-called white-collar crime is undetected and the
most difficult to bring to justice. Everyday offenders are more visible to the
public because their actions cause regional misery and make the media
scream for action by police and civil authorities. Hence, most laws apply to
visual crime, which is easy to interpret and comprehend. Punishment of
visual abuse in our courts and media is also straight forward and deals with
every day. How can we distinguish the two groups of offenders? The so-
called victimless crime of white-collar criminals who don't see a direct
victim or the killer who murders and maims those who challenge his desire
to take from society what they desire and the suffering they leave behind?
What does psychology have to say about the deviants who don't see their
acts as a concern for themselves and see those who don't take care of their
lives as weak and deserve to be victims of those who are smarter, stronger,
or more powerful? The media often cries out about the passive masses who
embrace the status quo and, in the same paper, will denounce the local
individual who took the law into their own hands, maybe to avenge any
injustice against them or their family? The first place that psychology
reveals the causes for other people's dark actions is "developmental" the
childhood is on the course of this action, that the dog kicker has not been
treated or cared for in the right way. Suppose they had been subjected to
violence, sexual exploitation, or lack of social education during their
formative years. Perhaps the same transgressors were victims of bullying at
school and would thus carry out their anger on others who are weaker than
themselves in society. The question we have to ask here is why certain
victims, in fact, most of them, appear to be law-abiding people, and it is just
the few who become the monsters that murder and mutilate for
developmental error reasons? Many scientists want to point to a genetic
element in conduct at this stage.
Has been around this old chestnut for some time now. Violent offenders
have proof that they also have an extra Y chromosome (men) that gives
them a high level of testosterone that contributes to violent outbursts into
stressful circumstances where they use anxiety and intimidation as the key
to having what they need. However, this is statistically minute as a
proportion of violent offenders even though this could be higher than the
general prison population. All genetic study to date has led to genetic
factors being hypothesized but with no concrete evidence to back up the
arguments. The most widely cited evidence is that there are high incidences
of identical behavior and findings from twin research, where twins split at
birth. Again, as a percentage of twins born and studied, this evidence is
poor for genetic determinism and strong for identical developmental
environments and twins experiencing conditions that are so accommodating
that if they turn out differently from each other, it is more likely to be a
surprise. So, if we exclude developmental effects, genetic predispositions,
what makes some people exhibit socially appropriate habits, and some who
meet all society's demands? It is, therefore, the propositional position that
makes it impossible for psychology to always see the world as a positive
view or a deterministic way, and that it is maybe in the fact that natural
conduct among humans under a variety of circumstances is to be cruel,
deceitful, and aggressive and inclined towards criminal activity. Such
values are a privilege of a stable society in which all are equal economically
and in caste or class.
The Psychology of the Survivalist: Specifically, in the West, some see the
destruction of humanity as a possible possibility if they support nuclear
annihilation (now more likely bio-warfare) or the collapse of capitalism,
leading to societal instability and civil conflict. These individuals are also
called survivalists. They store guns against the unruly crowds that would
swarm the country to the risk of economic meltdown shortages in a civil
breakdown and food. (Seeing many survivalists in the US in 2009 would
say they have a legitimate case). In the case of social collapse and lack of
security rules, the survivalists claim they have a natural right to defend
themselves and their families. These groups sometimes disagree with
current legal laws that are implemented by federal agencies such as the FBI.
Therefore, while on the one side, the mindset of the survivalist conflicts
with society, on the other, it is seen as a sincere effort to manage one's
destiny against possible disasters. After all, insurance firms exist based on
the assumption alone; unfortunately, it will be the first to struggle to survive
an economic collapse in capitalism, as shown by many banks' failure
around the world in 2008/9. The most famous films in the box office today
are disaster films, those where earthquakes, sun-flares, bio-warfare, alien
invasion, and other catastrophes cause the societal collapse of society.
These film heroes are often the resourceful survivalists who defend their kin
from all-comers by violence. Why are these people appealing to the media
as heroes, and yet the actual survivalists are vilified as the status quo's
public enemies? Judging by the popularity of these films, ordinary people
agree that civilization's collapse can happen or is inevitable in reality. So,
they look to these films as a kind of hope for a new future that might come
about by destroying their daily existence.
Psychology as Evolution: All people began as survivalists in human
history as hunter-gatherers wandering the land, searching easily accessible
animals for food and warmth. As time passes, we see these communities
settling into agro-cultural settlements that establish rules, regulations,
leaders, and moral codes. As these settled societies evolve and expand, they
create art, music, and religion to make up for a limited life within the
constrictions of the very society they created. Land and property get
important from these beginnings. Possession of goods and chattels is
indispensable for development. As time goes by, these settlements become
villages, cities, and towns that ultimately create boundary-forming
countries. Survival now becomes the group and not the entity as was from
the beginning of time the instincts of humans. But all those communities
slowly break away and crumble away. And for unexplained reasons like the
Mayan and other civilizations in South America. Most fail as they develop
into empires with a version of their laws and religions which dominate the
poor. However, one thing history tells us all is that communities can
collapse for all kinds of reasons. (Ancient Greek, Roman, Egyptian and
British, French, German, and Japanese Empires in the Modern World). All
these cultures had one thing in common, which they did not predict their
downfall. In today's world, a European and an American could not imagine
the collapse of the EEC or the United States. Still, these new capitalist
empires have their own Achilles heel, "Capitalism." While Karl Marx saw
the dangers of capitalism and its ultimate collapse, he could not have seen
how it would consume the modern world to such a point that wars over oil
and gas would dominate the 21st century. But Marx would also laugh
gleefully at the 2009 collapse of the greed and debt-based banking
structures across the planet's First Nations. Most of the disappointments
may be attributed to mismanagement, but in reality, it was a loss of faith by
ordinary citizens in the financial system that triggered a rush on funds and a
lack of capacity to handle debilitating debt through high-interest rates and
poor return on investment. When people panic, they go into the mode of
survival-first they fear for themselves.

The Dark Side Conclusion:

The Dark Side Conclusion: That in fact, survival mentality is our norm, and
that what society is attempting to do is to regulate the wild beast in every
human being by educating them from an early age to follow the control
group's laws, rules, and morality, typically the wealthy, who dominate our
governments and institutions. Should we denounce those who feel society is
not giving them a reasonable deal? Who should take what they need to
survive in an often-hostile world where privilege depends on your
education, family, or wealth? Will psychology itself have to come out of the
closet and accept that normal human conduct contrasts with strict structures
and regulations? They experience some helplessness in trying to survive
among the wolves since they are powerless against those who regulate law-
making and morality.
Is it any wonder that sometimes an alone person takes it into their own
hands to change society or their own life to live a more free self-controlled
existence away from the rigors of societies which, as we have seen, all
inevitably crumble and reinvent themselves once again as the newly rich
and powerful takeover. In the last century, we saw China transforming itself
from an empire dominated by depots into a military dictatorship controlled
by the rich and powerful into a communist look of the 1950s in which
Marxism will decide a decent life for all and finally the China of today as a
capitalist, socialist state based on a ruling party that decides the lives of the
poor people who fought against it Can another revolution take place in
China in the future-it seems impossible at the moment, considering the
turmoil in many parts of China by minorities forced to comply with the
central rule? Could not all empires see their downfall!
How can psychology then deal with this issue of human actions as a basic
mechanism of survival? Human beings are inherently aggressive, cruel, and
superior to those who are weaker than themselves? In mental institutions,
psychiatry is also seen as the agents of social order-if you disagree with
society and its laws, then you must be insane-then you should be arrested
and regulated for the safety and good of all. On the other hand, psychology
is seen as the therapeutic component of mental wellbeing-where. We help
those out of step with culture find their position and fit back into what is
considered common behavior. Where will the solution be for those who
revolt against the society in which they live and want a better way of life
without the intervention of the powerful and the freedom to live a life which
they want to suit? Or are we waiting for the films to come true? The tragedy
that threatens all humans and returns to a dog eat dog's life called survival-
the real social norm!

Dark Traits
Ethically, morally and socially dubious conduct is part of daily life, and it is
easy to find examples of cruel, greedy, unscrupulous, or even outright evil
actions through history and cultures. Psychologists use the umbrella term
"black characteristics" to subsume attributes of personality correlated with
these pathological classes — most notably, Machiavellianism, Narcissism,
and Psychopathy. Over the years, increasingly distinct and increasingly
narrow dark characteristics have been added, resulting in many buildings
lacking theoretical integration.
We define the basic concepts underlying all dark traits by proposing D —
the Dark Component of Personality — and thus provide a unifying,
systematic theoretical structure for understanding the dark personality.
Compared with the general (g) intelligence element, D represents the one
basic universal dispositional tendency from which particular dark traits
emerge as manifestations. Thus all the commonalities between different
dark traits can be traced back to D, so D is the common core of all dark
traits.

The content of D
Individuals with high D levels would usually seek to maximize their
usefulness at others' utility. The utility is understood in terms of the
magnitude of the target achievement, which involves various (more or less)
measurable benefits such as enthusiasm, joy, wealth, satisfaction, strength,
prestige, and overall psychological need fulfillment. Thus, high-in-D
individuals may follow activities that individually profit at the detriment of
others, and eventually even gain immediate usefulness (e.g., pleasure) from
other people's disutility (e.g., pain). Vice versa, people high in D, usually
will not be driven to encourage others' use (e.g., supporting someone) and
will not gain usefulness from others' usefulness (e.g., being happy for
someone).
Those with high D levels will also hold values that help justify their
behavior (for example, maintaining a positive self-image despite evil
behavior). Several views may serve as a justification, including that high-D
individuals regard themselves (or their group) as superior, see others (or
other groups) as inferior, support philosophies that promote superiority,
adopt a pessimistic view of the world, see the world as a competitive jungle,
etc.

Machiavellianism
In psychology, Machiavellianism refers to a personality trait that sees a
person so focused on their interests that they will manipulate, deceive and
exploit others to achieve their goals.
One of the characteristics of the 'Dark Triad' is Machiavellianism, the other
two being narcissism and psychopathy.
The word itself stems from a reference to Niccolò Machiavelli, a
Renaissance diplomat, and philosopher whose most famous work became
'The Prince' (Il Principe). This infamous book supported his views that
powerful rulers of their subjects and enemies should be ruthless. That glory
and survival justified every means, even those deemed unethical and brutal.
"Machiavellianism" became a common term by the late 16th century to
describe the practice of being dishonest to get ahead.
But until the 1970s, when two social psychologists, Richard Christie and
Florence L. Geis, created what they called the "Machiavellianism Scale,"
this was not a psychological concept. A personality inventory is still used as
Machiavellianism's main evaluation tool; this measure is now called 'the
Mach-IV test.'
Machiavellianism was found to be more prevalent in males than in females.
However, it can happen in anyone-even infants.

Signs of Machiavellianism
Someone with the Machiavellian characteristic would appear to have all of
the traits that follow:

Committed only to their own goals and desires

Making money and influence a priority over relationships
Feeling charming and optimistic
Take advantage and exploit others to get ahead
Lie and fail when appropriate
Regular use of flattery
Standards and beliefs missing
May seem aloof or complicated to get to know
Pessimistic about slavery and morality
Capable of causing damage to others to achieve its means
Poor Empathy levels
Also, resist emotional attachments and dedication
Can be very patient due to the nature of calculations
Their true intentions rarely reveal
Vulnerable to coincidental sex experiences
Maybe excellent at reading social and other circumstances
Unwarming social experiences
Not always mindful of the effects of their acts
Maybe struggling to recognize their feelings

The Machiavellianism Scale

The scale of Machiavellianism is a score of up to 100, which results from a
test consisting of a series of questions. People who score more than 60 are
deemed 'super match' and score less than 60, 'low match.'
Strong Machs concentrate on their health. They assume one has to be
frustrating to get ahead. They don't believe human goodness and think that
it's selfish, relying on others. They don't believe that life is decent by nature,
prioritizing control over love and attachment.

Narcissism
In our self-obsessed, celebrity-driven society, the word narcissism gets
thrown around a lot, mostly to describe someone who appears too arrogant
or full of himself. But narcissism doesn't mean self-love in psychological
terms — at least not of a sincere nature. To say that someone with
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is in love with an idealized,
grandiose self-image is truer. And they are in love with the exaggerated
self-image precisely because it helps them escape deep vulnerability
feelings. But it takes a lot of effort to shore up their fantasies of grandeur —
and that's where the unhealthy attitudes and actions come in.
Narcissistic personality disorder includes a self-centered pattern, selfish
thought and behavior, a lack of empathy and concern towards others, and an
overwhelming admiration desire. Others also describe the NPD as cocky,
arrogant, greedy, patronizing, and demanding. In every aspect of the
narcissist's life, this way of thinking and acting surfaces: from work and
friendships to family relationships and love connections.
People with narcissistic personality disorder are highly stubborn even
though it causes them problems to change their behavior. Their propensity
is to turn the blame on to others. What's more, they're highly sensitive, and
they respond badly to even the slightest criticism, disagreement, or
perceived slights they see as a personal attack. It's always easier for the
people in the narcissist's life to go along with their requests to escape the
coldness and rages. However, you will identify the narcissists in your life
through learning more about the narcissistic personality disorder, shielding
yourself from their power plays, and setting healthy limits.

Symptoms and signs of narcissistic personality disorder; Grandiose

sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the hallmark of narcissism. Grandiosity is not only arrogance
or pride but an excessive sense of superiority. Narcissists feel they are
unique or "special," and only other special individuals can understand them.
What's more, they're too smart for something ordinary or normal. They
want to associate with and be associated with other high-status individuals,
places, and things.
Often, narcissists feel better than anyone else and demand praise as such —
even when they have done little to deserve it. They would also exaggerate
their successes and abilities, or lie outright about them. And when they're
talking about jobs or relationships, what you'll hear is how much they're
helping, how nice they're, and how grateful the people are to have them in
their lives. They are the undisputed champion, and everyone else is a bit of
a player at best.

Lives in a fantasy world that help their delusions of grandeur

Since reality does not help its grandiose vision of itself, narcissists exist in a
world of illusion assisted by distortion, self-deception, and magical
thinking. They spin self-glorifying fantasies that make them feel unique and
in charge of limitless achievement, strength, creativity, beauty, and ideal
love. These fantasies guard them against feelings of inner loneliness and
shame, so they disregard or rationalize facts and opinions which contradict
them. Something that threatens to break the bubble of delusion is met with
intense defensiveness and even anger, so those around the narcissist learn to
treat their rejection of reality carefully.

Needs constant praise and admiration

The sense of superiority of a narcissist is like a balloon, which gradually
loses air without a constant supply of applause and affirmation to keep it
inflated. The occasional compliment is not appropriate. Narcissists need
constant food for their egos because they are surrounded by people willing
to respond to their excessive need for approval. Those relationships are very
unilateral. It's all about what the admirer can do for the narcissist, never the
other way around. And if the admirer's devotion and appreciation are ever
disrupted or reduced, the narcissist sees it as treason.

Sense of entitlement
Narcissists expect preferential treatment as their due since they consider
themselves unique. They genuinely believe they should be getting whatever
they want. They also expect the people around them to honor their every
wish and desire automatically. That is just their meaning. If you don't
predict their every need and fulfill them, then you're useless. And if you
have the nerve to question their will or ask for something "selfishly" in
exchange, brace yourself for violence, anger, or cold shoulder.

Exploits others without guilt or shame

Narcissists never can connect with other people's emotions – to put
themselves in the shoes of others. To put it differently, they lack empathy.
In certain ways, they see the people as artifacts in their lives to fulfill their
needs. As a result, they don't think twice about manipulating others to
accomplish their ends. This interpersonal manipulation is often malicious,
but it is also simply insensitive. Narcissists don't care about how things
influence their behavior. And if you find it out, they're probably not going
to get it. They know their own needs.

Sometimes demeans, intimidates, threatens, or slanders others.

Narcissists feel threatened every time they come across someone who
seems to have something they lack, especially confident and famous.
People who don't kowtow them or who question them in some way are
threatening them too. Their mechanism for defense is contempt. The only
way to neutralize the danger and help their sagging ego downplay those
people. They can do this in a patronizing or insensitive manner to indicate
how little the other person means to them. Or with insults, name-calling,
intimidation, and threats, they can go on the offensive to force them back
into line.

The Daily Sadist

Sadism, a psychosexual condition where sexual impulses are gratified by
the suffering caused by someone else. The concept was invented by the
German psychologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing in the late 19th century
about the Marquis de Sade, a French nobleman from the 18th century who
chronicled his activities of this nature. Sadism is also synonymous with
masochism (q.v.), in which sexual pleasure arises from experiencing pain,
and in which several individuals respond in either position. But the sadist
also finds a victim who is not a masochist, as some of the sexual pleasure
comes from the reluctance of the victim. The level and degree of sadistic
violence can differ considerably, from mild pain caused in otherwise
harmless love to horrific brutality, often leading to severe injury or death.
The sadist's gratification may be the product of the victim's emotional
distress rather than causing real physical pain. Sexual desires can restrict
the extent of violence, but in some cases, the aggressive instinct becomes
overwhelming, and the sadist advances to more severe manifestations of his
violent impulses. Sadism can be a factor in some violent crimes, especially
rape and murder.
 CHAPTER EIGHT

SEDUCTION AND DARK

PSYCHOLOGY
It all depends on your seduction goal. Research your prey carefully, and
pick only those that will prove receptive to your charms. The best victims
you can fill in a gap for are the ones who see something special in you.
They are always lonely or depressed, or they can be easily made so —
because it's almost difficult to seduce the fully contented individual. The
ideal victim has a certain quality that inspires intense emotions within you,
making your seductive maneuvers seem more normal and dynamic. A
perfect victim enables perfect pursuit.

Seduction with the Use of Dark Psychology

Build a false sense of security-indirectly approach
If you're too straight forward early on, you risk stirring up a resistance
that'll never be diminished. At first, nothing of the seducer has to be in your
way. The seduction should start at an angle, implicitly, to be only gradually
aware of the target. Haunt the margin of your aim's life — approach over a
third party, or tend to establish a relatively neutral relationship, slowly
shifting from friend to partner. Lull the goal into a safe feel, then hit.

Send mixed signals

When people are aware of your existence, and maybe slightly fascinated,
you need to spice up their curiosity before deciding on anyone else. Most of
us are way too obvious — be hard to find out, instead. Send mixed signals:
rough and soft, both divine and earthly, innocent as well as clever. A
mixture of qualities implies complexity, which, even as it confuses,
fascinates. A mysterious, mystical aura can make people want more
knowledge and draw them into your circle. By hinting at something
contradictory inside you, build such a force.
Appear to be a thing of desire — create triangles
Few are drawn to the individual evaded and ignored by others; people
gather around those who have already attracted attention. To bring your
victims closer and make them hungry to own you, you have to build an
atmosphere of desirability, being coveted by many and being courted. To be
the chosen object of your affection, to take you away from a crowd of
admirers, becomes a point of pride for them. Build a reputation that goes
before you: There must be a reason so many have fallen to your charms.

Create a need, stir anxiety and discontent

Cannot seduce a perfectly happy human. It must instill stress and
disharmony in the minds of your targets. Stir up feelings of dissatisfaction
within them, an unhappiness with their circumstances and with themselves.
The feeling you build of inadequacy will give you the space to insinuate
yourself, to make them see you as the answer to their problems. Pain and
anxiety are the perfect forerunners of enjoyment. Learn how to generate the
need you will fill up with.

Master the art of insinuation

It's important to make your goals feel frustrated and need your attention, but
they'll see through you and grow defensive if you're too obvious. However,
there is no known protection against insinuation — the art of planting ideas
in people's minds by dropping hints that take root days later, sometimes
appearing to them as their idea. Build a sub-language — bold declaration
followed by retraction and apology, vague remarks, banal conversation
combined with seductive glances — that enters the target's unconscious to
express its true meaning. Make all of that suggestive.

Enter their spirit

Many people are trapped in their worlds, which makes them stubborn and
difficult to convince—reaching into their spirit is how to draw them out of
their shell and set up your seduction. Play by their rules, have fun doing
what they love, adjust to their moods. You will massage their deep-rooted
narcissism and lower their defenses in doing so. Indulge in every move and
whim of your targets, offering them nothing to respond or resist.
Create temptation
Lure the target abysmal into your seduction by providing the right
temptation: a glimpse of the coming pleasures. As the serpent tempted Eve
with the lure of forbidden knowledge, you have to awaken a desire in your
goals that they cannot control. Find their vulnerability, the dream that still
needs to be realized, and hint that you will guide them toward it. Essential
to keeping things ambiguous. Stimulate a greater curiosity than the fears
and anxieties that come with it, and they'll follow you.

Keep them in suspension on what comes next?

The moment people believe they know what to expect from you, it breaks
your spell on them. More: You ceded the authority to them. Creating
suspense, a calculated surprise, is the only way to drive the seduced along
and keep the upper hand. Doing something they don't expect of you will
give them a fun sense of spontaneity — they won't be able to guess what's
next. You are in charge, and still one step ahead. Offer a thrill to the victim
with a sudden change of direction.

Use the demonic command of words to sow confusion.

Making people listen is hard; they are filled with their thoughts and needs,
and they have no time for yours. The trick to making them heed is to say
what they want to hear, filling their ears with whatever they want. That is
the center of seductive language. Use loaded phrases to inflame people's
feelings, flatter them, ease their insecurities, surround them with sweet
words and promises, and not only will they listen to you, but they will also
lose their ability to fight you.

Pay attention to detail.

Lofty declarations of love and grand gestures may be suspicious: Why do
you want to please so hard? The nuances of seduction are even more
amusing and revealing — the subtle movements, the offhand stuff you're
doing. You have to learn to impress your victims with a multitude of fun
little rituals — thought-out presents made specifically for them, clothing,
and decorations designed to please them, movements that display the time
and attention you give them. Mesmerized by what they see, they're not
going to consider what you are up to.
Poeticize your presence
Significant things happen when your ambitions are all alone: the slightest
sense of relief you're not there, and it's all over. The reaction will be
triggered by familiarity and over-exposure. But remain elusive. Intrigue the
goals by combining a cool gap with an exciting appearance, exuberant
moments accompanied by measured absences. Associate yourself with
romantic images and objects, so they begin to see you through and idealize
the halo when they think about you. The more you fit in their heads, the
more seductive fantasies they envelop you in.

Disarm through strategic weakness and vulnerability

Too much maneuvering will raise suspicion on your part. The easiest way to
cover up the tracks is to make the other person feel better and superior. If
you appear to be helpless, insecure, excited about the other person, and
unable to control yourself, your acts would seem more normal and
controlled. The impact would be produced by physical weakness — tears,
bashfulness, paleness. Play the victim, and then turn the compassion of your
target into affection.

Confuse desire and reality—the perfect illusion

People spend their time dreaming, imagining a future full of fun, success,
and excitement to compensate for their difficulties. If you can create the
illusion that they can live out their dreams through you, you will have them
at your hands. Strike at hidden impulses that have been blocked or
repressed, churn up uncontrollable feelings, confuse their thinking forces.
Lead the seduced to the point of misunderstanding where they can't tell the
difference between illusion and truth anymore.

Isolate the victim

A Weak is an alienated human. By isolating your victims slowly, you are
making them more vulnerable to your influence. Take them away from
home, school, relatives, and the natural atmosphere. Offer them the feeling
of marginalization, in limbo — they are leaving behind one world and
moving into another. When separated like this, they have no outside support
and are easily led astray in their confusion. Lure the seduced into your den,
where nobody knows anything.

Prove yourself
Many people want to seduce. If they reject your efforts, it's because you
haven't gone far enough to remove their doubts — about your motivations,
the strength of your emotions, etc. A timely action demonstrating how
much you are willing to win them over would dissipate their suspicions. Do
not worry about appearing stupid or making a mistake — any act that is
self-sacrificing and will overtake their emotions for the sake of your
ambitions; they will not consider anything else.

Effect a regression
People who have encountered enjoyment in the past will seek to replicate it
or relive it. The deepest-rooted and most pleasurable commemorations are
usually early childhood memories, often associated unconsciously with
parental figures. Bring the goal back to that point by placing yourself in the
Oedipus triangle and putting them vulnerable. Unconscious of the cause of
their emotional reaction, they will fall in love with you.
Stir up the transgresses and taboo
What one can do still have social limitations. Several of these, the most
basic taboos, go back centuries; some are more simplistic, describing
reasonable, polite behavior. It's incredibly seductive to make your targets
feel like you are taking them beyond any form of limit. People are excited
to discover the dark side. When the urge to cheat attracts your goal to you,
they'll find it difficult to avoid. Take them further than they could imagine
— the common sense of remorse and responsibility creates a strong bond.

Use spiritual lures

Everyone has doubts and insecurity — about their own body, self-worth,
sexuality. If your seduction appeals solely to the physical, you will stir up
these suspicions and become self-conscious about your goals. Instead, by
making them concentrate on something beautiful and mystical, draw them
out of their insecurities: a religious experience, a majestic piece of art, the
supernatural. The goal, lost in a spiritual mist, will feel warm and
expressive. Deepen your seduction's effect by making its erotic conclusion
appear as the two souls' spiritual union.

Mix pleasure with pain

In seduction, the biggest mistake is being too sweet. Maybe your kindness
is sweet at first, but soon it's becoming monotonous; you're trying too hard
to please, and you seem nervous. Try to cause some pain instead of
crushing the targets with niceness. Make them feel nervous and guilty.
Instigate a breakup now, a rapprochement, a return to your former kindness,
would weaken your knees. The lower you make, the higher the ups. It
creates the suspense of apprehension to heighten the sexual effect.

Give them room to sink-the pursuer is pursued.

If you get too used to your goals as the aggressor, they will give less energy,
and the stress will slacken. You need to wake them up and turn the tables
around. Take a step back while they are under your influence, and they'll
start coming for you. Hint, you're getting more bored. It looks like someone
else is involved. They'll soon try to control you physically, and caution will
go out the window. Build the feeling that they are seducing the seducer.

Use physical lures

Active mind goals are dangerous: If they see through your manipulations,
they can develop doubts unexpectedly. Put their minds to rest gently, and
wake up their unconscious senses by mixing a non-defense mindset with a
sexual presence charged. While their inhibitions lower your calm,
nonchalant air, your look, voice, and bearing — oozing sex and lust — get
under their skin and raise their temperature. Never push the physical; infect
the target with heat; instead, draw them into desire. Morality, speculation,
and preoccupation with the future will melt away.

Master the art of the bold move

Time has come: Your victim wants you but is not prepared to publicly admit
it, let alone act on it. It's time to throw away cabbage, kindness, and
coquetry and confuse them with a bold pass. Don't give the victim time to
worry about the consequences. Showing reluctance or awkwardness means
you think about yourself, rather than being distracted by the charms victim's
charms. One person has to go on the offensive, and you are.

Beware of the after-effects.

In the wake of a successful seduction, risk follows. It also moves in the
opposite direction toward lassitude, distrust, anger, and peaked emotions.
Make the sacrifice quick and instant if you are to part. Beware of flagging
of resources, a creeping familiarity that will ruin the dream, if you remain
connected. Needs a second seduction. Never allow the other person to take
you for granted- use absence, build pain and tension, to keep the
tenterhooks seduced.

Because People Unknowingly Fall Prey to it

Preface Pressure

Seduction is a game of psychology, not beauty, and becoming a

master at the game is within reach of any human.
A seducer does not turn off the power, and on — every social
and personal contact is considered a possible seduction. There
never has to be a day to waste.
Non-self-absorbed seducers. Their attention is geared towards
the outside, not inward.
Enjoyment is a feeling of being overpowered by our
boundaries, being overshadowed by another person, by an
experience.
Seducers are fundamentally utterly amoral in their approach to
life.
And seduction has two components that must be examined and
understood: first, you and what is seductive about you; and
second, your purpose and acts that penetrate your defenses and
establish surrender.
 "Most virtue is a greater desire for seduction."

Techniques to Make Seduction Work

TIP 1: THE NUMBER ONE STRATEGY SEDUCTION

Since I am a dating coach, I am being asked by many men for a strategy, a
seduction trick, or a pickup line.
And I do get that. A mystical word sounds like such a perfect solution to all
of your issues.
A trick to keep an eye on. Or a short line because you still have to tell her
something.
And of course, when you talk to a hot chick, you don't want to struggle
awkwardly!
That is why we men want to say a few smart lines.
No worries about that! I'll give you some lines a little bit further to help you
always make a smooth impression in social situations.
But do you want to know this is the best technique for seduction?
And let's be honest ... all those cheap pickup lines are not at all working.
And if you look at the research, there is a difference between working and
what is considered true and not.
When we use bad lines for pickups, we just hide behind a trick. You should
do better than this.
How?

No, didn't hide behind a liter of alcohol.

No, not by stammering in there with a weak ice breaker.
No convert nonsense or reason to converse with such person.

The best technique to seduce someone?

That is sincerity.
And the best opener is ... well, the TRUTH says.
Maybe that doesn't make sense to you, or even sounds a little odd.
So how does this sound, 'seducing the facts to somebody'?
Here is an example of this:
You're in a band or bar. You note that you keep drawing your attention to a
pretty woman. You can only focus halfway on the conversation with your
friend. She is just your guy and so hot.
Then with some nonsense about 'an angel falling from heaven,' don't
approach her. That sort of thing's for the losers.

Step up and tell her the truth.

Anything as:
"I was talking to a friend there, and I kept getting distracted as my eyes
were always drawn in the direction you were going. Then I thought after the
fourth time, well, that is a simple sign to come and talk to you. Tell me,
then, who are you? It is just one case of how the truth can be articulated.
Want more examples of the technique of seduction?
Maybe you see her wearing a trendy outfit in a store.
What are you going to do if you want to reach her during the day? You
probably find that very disturbing; maybe you feel like everyone is staring
at you!
Maybe you think she thinks you're a weird guy! If you think so, the truth is
THAT.
It's Own Thing.
Don't beat around the bush; naturally, stuff like that goes through your
mind. Tell something close to:
"Damn, I feel like someone is watching me, and I'm pretty nervous about
saying this because you may think I'm a creep”.
But I just want to tell you that I think you've got a feminine theme. I'd like
to let you know.' You become open to others by being truthful and honest.
Women aren't going to find you either scary or too easy. Even if not every
woman achieves this, she will at least respect you. Honesty isn't a
beginner's seduction tactic; it's a philosophy that you continue to follow
throughout your whole relationship with her.
It's an important part of any good relationship.
On to the Next Technique!

TIP 2: USING THIS PSYCHOLOGIC APPROACH

Unfortunately for many men, their dates always end in the frustrating way
that follows.
Together you had a fun night out, you had drinks, and then you said
goodbye.

Why is it that women do this?

There are several reasons women lose interest, of course, but this is one of
the most important ones.
(And if you can turn that upside down, that's a strong technique of
seduction)
What is the big mistake that is going to get women to run the other way?
Only if I walk you through two short psychological scenarios you will get
this.

Only imagine:
You’re on the beach, and you see a sandcastle. All of a sudden, a nasty
teenager appears and stamps on it.
What an a-hole.
But how poor do you think his behavior, on a scale of 0 to 100?
The score you send him may be very poor.
Who is it that cares? But imagine you have spent the whole day with your
girlfriend creating a sand sculpture!
You filled the masterpiece with all your passion! And then the same
teenager tears it to bits ... right before your very eyes ...

You're boiling with anger!

Maybe it's the same sandcastle ... but it's still a big difference.
Then what do the circumstances make the difference?
Investment!
We value the work that we do.
It is why brotherhoods and sororities with challenging initiations are far
more involved than those who don't. People are very committed after going
through such a tough time to get through—a return to the methods of
seduction.
A return to the methods of seduction.
Many men spend much too much, much too early.
So what looks like this?

They ask plenty of questions about her

They're 'sold' instantly and like all about her
They are doing everything they can for her
They are overloading her with congratulations
They tell them their darkest secrets straight away

What do you think SHE believes?

Perhaps she thinks you are different, and she'll probably not respect you at
all, just like you didn't enjoy your first sandcastle. She did not have to put
any effort into this for you. What I am talking about is not playing the
game' hard to get,' it's just not being sold to a woman immediately.
In the next tip, we will go deeper into how you can make her believe more
in you.

TIP 3: HOW TO TAKE HER SEDUCE THERE

After this tip, women will bring more effort into all of your interactions
with you.
The days in the past, you're too easy to be!
And you'll know exactly how to execute this seduction technique with the
following five tips.
Women will make an effort for you if you:

Talk slowly (instead of superfast responses)

Lean back a little (before leaning in)
Ask a truthful and critical question now and then (instead of
adoring the ground on which she walks)
Offer real compliments (without kissing the butt – save for
under the sheets
Knead her
This way, you show yourself as an attractive man with expectations. It
is not a deceptive trick. Some expectations are the true seduction technique.
Because it's pretty rational when it comes to choosing your girlfriend not to
be sold immediately, right?
Just like your career path, the most important decision ever could be your
choice of partner!
I wouldn't hop into bed with any woman except when it comes to one-night
stands.

TIP 4: STRATEGY SEDUCTION OR MINDF*CKS

You may think that you're only learning things from me right now because I
don't know anything about you.
You may have seen one or more of my videos while reading this post.
Maybe you're already reading the newsletter ...
But here's the thing, I know much more about YOU.
Well, sure.
You.

This is what I know about you:

You're an action-taker. You like professional growth.
You're a fun and polite person. You're great at one-on-one talks. You love to
create a bond with people, even though in the beginning, this doesn't always
go smoothly.
But there's still a dark side of you. Like when someone betrays you, your
dark side comes to the surface. You can be pretty cruel in those
circumstances.
You can be very cruel to yourself, too. It's never quite good enough. You're
quite critical of the results you're getting in your life. Sometimes, you
should be kinder to yourself.

How do I understand that?

You need to ask yourself.

It is a subtle technique of seduction that I teach to men in my classes.

You make comments about a person (in which you seem to be 'cold reading'
somebody).
Why do they get it right? When you say stuff that you know happens to 90
percent of people. Do this not as a deceptive seduction tactic but as a fun
way of getting to know somebody. As if you think about them.
People just like talking about themselves. You get it wrong sometimes, and
that's okay; she can correct you were needed.

TIP 5: TEXT TO SEDUCE HER OVER

This technique of seduction can give you great reactions when flirting over
Email, Tinder, or Instagram.
It's a playful way of ensuring you're in charge.
As I said earlier, when a girl is sweet, many men are easy to sell.
I even hear about men falling in love with their Tinder match sometimes,
someone they've never even met!

Emotional Intelligence secrets to your benefit

1) Recognize
We've all had days in which the planet is awful, and only later do we
remember that it's just a bad mood, and the Earth has not undergone drastic
changes overnight. It's like the scene in the war movie where, before they
look down and see the blood, they don't know that they were shot.
You need to sign yourself in. If you don't take the time to identify your
emotional state, you can't fix negative emotions or raise positive ones.

2) Understand
It all has to do with the word "why." Why do you feel this way? Don't
inquire rhetorically, in a judgmental tone. Be a scientist on genuine and
curious feeling.
Why that sentiment? Now, why? What triggers it? What happened before
they did it? What events, connections or memories could cause this
sensation?
You may not have a huge epiphany, but this is the first step toward self-
comprehension. Only a tiny data point, but you're going to start seeing
associations and trends over time. You will begin to make predictions of the
emotions more accurate. Effectively you'll be able to prepare: stop, cope, or
ask for support.
It's disappointingly easy but keeps on doing this, and you're on the road to
self-authorship.
Failed to play detective? Nice. Nice. Now we're going to be zero in, and
we're starting to develop those EI skills ...
3) Label
Matthew Lieberman's neuroscience studies at UCLA have demonstrated
labeling's tremendous ability to help us regulate and dampen strong
emotions. When we put feelings in words, we get our "think brain"
(prefrontal cortex) on the case, and we put the brakes on our "wet yourself
in fear and punch brain people" (amygdala). I just gave it a name to tame it.

4) Express
No, I'm not asking you to run around "venting." Don't go out at work or
home with all the anger grenade saying the blogger-man permitted you to
act on any impulse. No, most definitely, the blogger-man did not.
But you don't want to wipe away all those emotions, either. "Surface-
acting" is taking their toll. It's associated with burnout, lower work
satisfaction, and anxiety and depression have increased.

5) Regulate
We all can control our emotions. Babies suck thumbs. (No, I do not suggest
that during working sessions.) What techniques do experts recommend?

6) Positive Self-Talk
Yeah, you've seen it before. Here's the latest twist, neuroscience courtesy:
always perform constructive self-talk in the third person.

7) Reframing
Deliberately prefer to look at it in a way that produces less negative feelings
and believes positive thoughts are with others.

8) The Pause
Keep on when you sense a growing negative feeling. Take nothing. Grab a
deep breath. Pausing helps you refrain from making a final, immediate
emotion dependent decision. Then ask one question about yourself:
"What my True Self will do next?
Take one more deep breath. And then be the best you can be.

Suggestions for continuing to be less insecure

Community inclusion
A crucial means of growing inclusion and reducing the risk of violence is
help that encourages people with disabilities to live in the community.
Interaction with community visitors and services that create links and
interactions outside the care setting is important for people living in a
specialist accommodation facility and having an intellectual or mental
disability, acquired brain injury, dementia or other disorder that affects
decision making.
A community visitor is anyone designated by the Public Guardian Office to
visit accommodation and respite facilities that care for disabled persons.
Public members seek to address concerns or grievances with staff to ensure
that assistance and service quality are offered.

Enhancing valued status

Changing attitudes toward individuals with disabilities is a crucial move to
will their risk of violence. Attitudes that devalue disabled people, deny
them common rights and freedoms, or downplay or neglect disadvantage
and discrimination can result in inappropriate abuse tolerance.
Improving people's respected status with disabilities is accomplished by
giving them opportunities to form partnerships, show competence, exercise
the rights of citizenship, and fulfill social obligations. These opportunities
are strengthened by eliminating obstacles and offering organized and
personalized assistance.

Raising awareness
Public education programs are an effective preventive aspect of violence.
An increased understanding of the issue helps people who have witnessed
violence seek support while fostering a sense of responsibility in society.
 CONCLUSION
Scientific research is used by psychologists to understand better how people
think, perceive experiences, and make decisions. They then transform the
information into strategies to help people make their everyday lives smarter
choices.
Based on an in-depth understanding of how lifestyles are influenced by
biology-related causes, mental processes, and social relationships and
experiences, psychologists recognize and help people resolve the barriers
that keep them from making healthier decisions, from exercising more or
functioning more effectively to using technology safely. Psychologists use
psychological science to maximize their ability and help them perform at
the highest possible level. Comprehending the psychology behind the way
we tick might make us tick even better.
Dark psychology has been around for some time, and people used it to get
what they want on other people. In this book, the techniques of coercion,
mind control, and persuasion, and how to resolve susceptibility to these
practices are explained. It's also important that you understand the strategies
and methods, so you don't have to fall prey to it. Take control of your
emotions and mind, or manipulators will come knocking at your door.